The Amadai [completed]

Posts : 68

Clan Name:The Amadai
Location:Anywhere
Signature Traits:

Members of this clan come in all sorts and sizes, and only one thing is physically persistent for them. Stark white skin that could give a albino a run for their money. This skin is like marble, both smooth, and hard to the touch. As for hair, normally each member keeps their hair clean and short, so only a little has to sink into their heads when using their jutsu. In addition to this, members often wear a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and a black server's vest over this., and on occasion, some wear bowler or fedora style hats.

Finally, is their Mob Mentality. Members of the clan trust their family like a mob family does, and loves them as such to. If someone hurts a part of the family, equal or greater pain is often dealt back to them.

Kekkei Genkai:
Faceless March

This is the name given their KKG by those of the family. This KKG allows for a special set of horror style jutsu. These jutsu include the ability to sink their noses into their body by temporarely dissolving it, and growing flesh over their orifaces, and make them completely smooth(Think Slenderman), and any hair on their body recedes into their skin. The trick to them is while they lose the senses of smell and taste, the still see, hear and touch. In addition to this, they have a slightly odd chakra ability.

Members of the clan can form tendrils and chains using purified chakra. These tendrils are typically the color of the user's clothing that they are wearing. This has generated the urban myth of a man known as the Slenderman, a deviant of the family, who was exiled from the clan.

Requires Medical(Terciary only) and Genjutsu(Main)
Finally, is a special jutsu the clan developed in order to keep their faces a secret if they are shown to someone. A special medical and genjutsu ability that causes minor amnesia of the user. By this it means, that someone who say the user, forgets they saw them, as the user's chakra infects their mind and casts a chakra that eats the memory of a select face or memory. However, in order to target the memory, a member has to know the memory themselves, and has to have a shared version of the memory where they were there, or else this jutsu is useless.

Inclined Stalking
This is a honed skill of the members of the family, in that they have a certain method of light stepping, which causes them to move in silence even over creaky or crumbling surfaces. This occurs as the members concentrate chakra within their toes in order to move silently. Because they are simply using the chakra in a circulatory manner, they do not consume the chakra to move in this fashion Requires members to take Advanced Stealth

History:
The history of this clan isn't very long. As time went on, a family of people who make their pride in capture and kidnapping. Along with this, the only easily recorded moment of this clan, was the Rampage of a man that many know now as Slenderman. The man was an insane member of the clan that kidnapped several people, children, and the like, simply to wipe their minds and leave them in the wild, however those that resisted him, suffered severe injuries. This is the only recorded happening of the clan, thanks to most members being discreet and using wipes on their victims.

Clan Jutsu:
Name:Faceless Guise
Rank:D
Type:KKG
Range:-
Element:-
Description:This jutsu is a cosmetic jutsu that was developed by the members of the clan. First, all hair of the user recedes into the skin. Second, their eyes become covered by a layer of skin, that at an extremely close distance, it is slightly like a mesh, as they can see through it. In addition, the same happens to their mouths, as their tongues recede into their bodies, and the mesh like flesh goes over their mouths allowing them to still breath, even as their noses and ears recede into their flesh, removing the ability to smell as flesh goes over where their nose was as well. Finally, as for hearing, the hear like a pounding drum as their close area hearing (10 meters) is doubled in it's ability, but far range hearing(20+ meters) Is disabled, while the area in between is like normal hearing to them.
Chakra Cost:3

Name:Chakra Tendril Aura
Rank:E-S
Type:KKG
Range:Max 2 meters
Element:-
Description:This jutsu seems to be usable by any member of the clan regardless of their training, as a line of defense and offense. These tendrils act in strength to chakra limbs with the speed and strength of a taijutsu user, and the user can expend chakra to create 4 tendrils, and half that chakra to make one more tendril. The user can continue making tendrils in this manner, however, the tendrils are susceptible to drain effects., and give the person who saps the tendril a fourth of the level of chakra used to make it.
Chakra Cost:2/4/8/14/22/36

Name: Erase The Face
Rank: A
Type: Genjutsu(main) Medical(Terciary)
Medium: Touch
Range: Touch
Element: -
Description: By placing a hand on the head of the victim over the memory center of the brain, the user reaches into their mind, and allows the illusionary and medical chakra, to remove a memory that the user was involved in, or all memories the user was involved in, effectively wiping them from the victim's memories. When used on someone to wipe all memories, this jutsu has a backlash on the user, and their mind is too filled with the stolen memories to perform their clan jutsu.
Chakra Cost:25

Age : 29 Posts : 1585

There is no [WiP] or [Completed] tag included in the topic title. Go on and clarify the progress of your clan application so that we can know if we proceed and start reviewing your work.

Thank you.

Posts : 68

fixed : U

Age : 32 Posts : 750

Alright, Remain.

Signature Traits: I'm going to ask that you elaborate on this a little bit more. As in give me more details than just slender, tall, mafia attitude. In fact you could go in and describe the mafia attitude in more depth and the same with all other traits. Are both men and women tall? Maybe you add in a certain hair color or markings on the skin? Just give me more description on this. A nice lengthy paragraph should suffice.

History: This definitely needs to be longer, I would say two to three lengthy paragraphs. This way we can get the idea of your clan and understand them better. What all have they gone through? Tell us where they come from originally. If you are having difficulty coming up, you can pm any of us staff and I'm sure we would be happy to assist you in any way.

Work on these and once you have them completed, I can continue on with your application.

Age : 29 Posts : 1585

Include the english name of your KKG in your clan's title.

It should look like "Amadai Clan [Example]"

Posts : 68

There is no english name for it : U

Posts : 68

raddaraddaradda

Posts : 1729

Just when you think you've seen it all, a Slender Man clan. Oi vey.

Inclined Stalking;
Very simply, this sounds like a KKG granted Stealth SC. Which I'm afraid to say will not be allowed. You could, of course, just require clan members to take up the Advanced Stealth SC, or simply give them an inclination for acquiring the SC.

Faceless Guise;
Should specify it has a cost to activate, then deactivate. I was initially going to deny your clan the "See without eyes" thing until I saw this jutsu. Also...

Remain wrote:: Finally, as for hearing, the hear like a pounding drum as their close area hearing (10 meters) is doubled in it's ability, but far range hearing(20+ meters) Is disabled, while the area in between is like normal hearing to them.

I.... Have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say here.
Also, KKG is not in and of itself a jutsu type. Even KKG jutsu still have to fall into the Nin, Tai, Gen, Weaponry, Medical, or Puppetry classes.

Chakra Tendril Aura;
As above, KKG still have to fall into the Nin/Tai/Gen/Weap/Medic/Puppet classes. They should also specifically be only as strong as a user of the rank of the tendril, not simply "as strong as a taijutsu user."

Remain wrote:: and give the person who saps the tendril a fourth of the level of chakra used to make it.

I'm not sure what you mean by this line. As far as I'm aware, jutsu that allow the user to absorb an enemies chakra are not allowed to begin with, and even if they were, absorb a set amount.
This jutsu would also need a per-post cost, and I'm failing to see what makes any one rank different from the next rank.

Erase The Face
This jutsu seems, to me, to be infringing on the realm of Yamanaka clan techs. Specifically, it seems like a highly invasive version of the Mind Reading technique. Further, jutsu can require one specialty or another to utilize, but a technique cannot actually be two separate types of jutsu. And glancing back at your clan history, I find it hard to believe that they can manage to remain so discrete if only their A-rank members are actually capable of mind-wiping their victims.

Wind and Earth chakra requirement;
This seems like a very arbitrary requirement, given they don't have an advanced element and their KKG does not utilize either of these elements in them.

Also, overall, the app also has a fair number of typos, and could stand for a proof-reading.

Age : 30 Posts : 356

Archived due to user request