Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.



 
HomePortalLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done]

View previous topic View next topic Go down
kgabny
kgabny

Age : 36
Posts : 4

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptyThu 22 Aug 2013, 2:01 am

Clan Name: Tekiatsu Clan

Location: Kumogakure

Signature Traits: The entire clan has sky blue eyes, and lighter skin than most other members of the Cloud.  The older clan members tend to have lightning strikes in their irises, and the younger clan members would have these eyes when they are in full cloud form.  While their hair may be an assortment of colors, they traditionally have the same wind blown style.

Clothing-wise, the clan wears the traditional shinobi garb of the Cloud, however they will wear either a scarf, strip, or earring (usually the women) that has the Clan's crest on it.  A few members even opt to have the clan's symbol tattooed on their body, due to their most famous member of the clan having had a tattoo of the crest over his left eye.

Due to the nature of their Kekkei Genkai, the younger generations of the Tekiatsu clan tend to have some sort of water on their person, while the older members tend to carry a little water.  Only the most powerful of the clan can go without carrying water.  This is due to the heavy demand on their bodies, in which the use of the blood trait allows the water internally to escape.  

Kekkei Genkai: Kumonobodi (lit. 'Cloud Body') is the clan's signature bloodline, activated by the user.  This trait gives the clan incredible chakra control throughout their entire body, allowing the chakra to control individual cells or groups of cells in the same manner as to what naturally occurs in clouds.  With this ability, the clan members can perform Cloud Body jutsus, many of which allow them to avoid physical attacks by moving their cells around the object.  In addition, they are able to push parts of their body apart, held together only by chakra alone, as well as disperse themselves into the air, giving them very similar qualities to clouds.  

Clan members with this bloodline tend to be used as stealth ninjas or spies, and have developed a lot of wind, water, and lightning techniques used for evasion or protection.  They are highly adept at using a clone variant known as Kumo Bushin no Jutsu, and can use Dispersal as a quick getaway technique.  Despite the obvious similiarities to water, the Tekiatsu's bloodline cannot revert to a liquid water form, and extended periods (determined by skill) dispersed can and will cause the user to lose cells and parts.

History: The establishment of the clan goes far back into the history of the Cloud, however it is suggested that part of the clan originally formed in the Hidden Mist.  Similarities with the bloodline traits suggest that the clan's origins were of the Hozuki, and they ran from the village to join the Lightning Nation's Hidden Cloud.  If true, then it is suggested that the clan resorted to not using the Hozuki's bloodline, opting instead to use the combination of water and lightning for weather mimicking jutsus to begin with, but that is not where it ended.  

Mashimoro Tekiatsu, then the patriarch of the clan, conducted research into infusing himself with the clouds, much like some of the other clans he had seen, specifcally in the Hidden Mist.  With his own family past stretching into that village, he wanted to become the embodiment of the Hidden Cloud.  His brother, Kurou, disagreed with the ethics of Mashimoro's research, looking into old bloodlines, and his plans to use them on his children.  They two brother fought over the issue on multiple occasions, resulting in Kurou splitting the clan and leaving the village, becoming weather manipulators.  Mashimoro paid no heed to his brother's departure, and within a generation, the Cloud Body ability was created.  

While the Tekiatsu clan participated in every war that the Cloud fought, very rarely did the family fight on the front lines, or at least if they did, they opted for a more subtle combat.  More likely, the clan took to espionage, assassination, and guard work to benefit the clan, and were used on multiple occasions to infiltrate enemy lines and secure objectives.

It was in the first Great Shinobi War that the clan's hero came about, Ikazu.  Ikazu reveled in war despite his young age, and ensured victories for Kumogakure on 4 separate occasions.  A ruthless shinobi as the war persisted, he was deemed first as the "Thunder Ninja", and then "Red Thunder", due in part because his light clothes were always stained in blood, and in part due to a hidden technique developed called the "Blood Lightning Fan", a dangerous technique that created red bolts of lightning that spread in a fan among the battlefield.  Even after the war, Ikazu never felt the desire for peace, and pushed himself into dangerous missions until his death at the hands of enemy ninja.  Ikazu's legacy lived on with red stained cloths, or his signature tattoo for thunder over his left eye.

Other past clanmen made their name in the 3rd Great War, such as Sandoku of the Poison Cloud, Hiraki (who became known as the Cloud's Ghost), and Kimiko of the Violet Cyclone, a taijutsu user who took the bloodline and expanded on its taijutsu applications, and is the only person in the clan able to use powerful taijutsu techniques.  Sandoku died during the war, while Hiraki was assisinated and Kimiko retired.

Clan Jutsu:

Name: Kumosinjou (Cloud Form)
Rank: E
Type: KKG
Range: Personal
Element: N/A
Description: The activation form for the Kumonobodi, the user raises the sign to their chin and shuts their eyes, opening them once activated.  The eyes of the user get cloudy, with lighting strikes within the irises.  At this point, the user is able to use the Kekkei Genkai secret techniques.
Chakra Cost: 1

Name: Kumogigan no Jutsu (Hidden Cloud Eye Technique)
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Medium Range (within 500 ft)
Element: N/A
Description: The user must keep his/her own eyes closed, and keep their sign up to use this jutsu.  With activation, the user condenses available vapor into a a solid cloud, which then grows an iris and pupil.  The look of the eye is similiar to the user's eye.  The user can then send the eye out up to 500 ft, and can use it to spy on others.  In addition, the user can hear the conversation that is within range of the eye.
Chakra Cost: 9, plus 2 to maintain.

Name: Kumo Sokai no Jutsu (Cloud Dispersal Technique)
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Personal
Element: N/A
Description: One of the clan's signature techniques, the user must use a two hand sign in order to use the jutsu.  Once activated, the user literally dissapates into the surrounding air, making him immune to physical attacks, however also making him unable to attack himself.  In this form, the user can travel distances, however the longer the user stays in this form, the more cells and water are lost to the air.
Chakra Cost: 9, 2 to maintain

Name: Teikiatsu Kikku (Cyclonic Kick)
Rank: D, C, B, A
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Short-range (2ft, 4ft, 6ft, 10ft)
Element: N/A
Description: This jutsu is a two part activation.  The first part is the handsign, and the second part involves their dominant foot extending out and then dragging a quarter circle slowly.  At this point, the user kicks off his dominant foot and spins rapidly.  The body turns either white or grey, resembling a tornado, as the user becomes a cloud.  At D rank, the tornado reaches only a height equal to the user, and can only affect people and items within 2 ft of the user.  At C rank the tornado reaches double the user's height, and can hit within 4 years.  At B and A rank, the tornado reaches the sky, and have an additional effect of lighting strikes within the tornado itself.  B rank can reach 6ft, and A rank reaches 10 ft.
Chakra Cost: D 3; C 5; B 15; A 25


Last edited by kgabny on Sun 08 Sep 2013, 7:03 pm; edited 2 times in total
Back to top Go down
BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptyThu 22 Aug 2013, 10:17 am

Hozuki Clan (Hydrification)

I'm afraid to say the concept of your clan isn't something new, and is already in use.

So before you go any further into this, I'm afraid I'd have to Deny your clan.
Back to top Go down
kgabny
kgabny

Age : 36
Posts : 4

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptyThu 22 Aug 2013, 4:38 pm

Hydrification involves turning into water, and learning only water releases, the idea I had with this one is with clouds. If anything, the Hozuki's turn into liquid, while Tekiatsu mimics air. If the similarity is the need to carry water, that is because clouds are made of water as well, and I was going by the issue of the water in their bodies escaping as vapor, or using water to turn into clouds.

Most of the jutsus with this clan would be cloud or storm based, not water based.
Back to top Go down
BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptyFri 23 Aug 2013, 12:48 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud

"In meteorology, a cloud is a visible mass of liquid droplets or frozen crystals made of water or various chemicals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of a planetary body."

In essence, this, combined with the requirement to carry water, constant escape of said water, means that effectively, the only meaningful difference between your clan and the Hozuki clan is that your clan reverts into a less viscous form of water.

Sorry to say it, but still no Neutral
Back to top Go down
kgabny
kgabny

Age : 36
Posts : 4

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptyFri 23 Aug 2013, 4:44 pm

By that argument, Gaara's ability is also way too similar to Hozuki, only using sand instead of water. Its just a difference in form. I'm not able to go into a liquid form, this is purely only clouds and weather. If we get more technical, the second Mizukage did the same thing, but with a layer of oil as well, and even Kabuto was able to figure out a way to use the Hozuki clan's Hydration, only without fully becoming water.

If there is no way that the clan could get accepted, then that completely destroys my character concept. There is literally no other possible way to become a cloud without water, and if you ask meteorologists and oceanographers, there is a distinct difference between clouds and bodies of water, they do not fall under the same category simply because clouds are made of water droplets. They act differently when evaporated and suspended; they can do different things as a cloud rather than liquid, and when it comes to clouds and weather, water is only one part of it.
Back to top Go down
BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptySun 25 Aug 2013, 12:55 pm

Gaara simply manipulates and covers himself with sand. The Second Mizukage was an actual member of the Hozuki clan. And Kabuto falls into the same vein as Orochimaru, Pein, and Madara; 17 different kinds of hax and OP.

You could always make a Hozuki clan member. I wouldn't call it too far-fetched if, as a result of Clan Prodigy, and maybe Clan Mastery later on, such a member's clan jutsu had a more vaporous, cloud-like appearance, so long as the affect was mostly aesthetic, and maintained the same principle limitations and mechanics.

But I digress, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to take a step back, let you finish your clan, and give it time for another moderator to take their own glance at it. I will advise you, however, that the clan is simply, in my humble opinion, entirely too similar to the Hozuki clan in concept, implementation, and mechanics. So, I won't bar the progress of you working on this clan app, but I ask you to keep in mind, there is a high chance it will be denied.
Back to top Go down
kgabny
kgabny

Age : 36
Posts : 4

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptyFri 06 Sep 2013, 7:03 am

Sorry about that, just moved and only now finished it. I tried to change it around to make it seem less like the Hozuki clan, without removing the whole cloud weather thing.
Back to top Go down
BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] EmptyTue 12 Nov 2013, 12:48 pm

What in the hell are you going on about now? Stop wasting my time.
Seeing a none of these lazy slobs have posted and the dude hasn't been back in weeks, Archived.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content


Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Tekiatsu [Cloud Body] [Done] Empty

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
-