Ōshiro Clan [Shin Kaminari] (WIP)

Posts : 16

Clan Name: Ōshiro[大城]

Location: Konohagakure no Sato [木ノ葉隠れの里]

Signature Traits:

Quote :: Looks
The Ōshiro have a tendency of having blonde hair. Although breaking this trend does occur from time to time. Other than the hair there are no physical traits that really stand out. Well...besides their eyes.

Eyes
When an Ōshiro activates their KKG, their eyes will go from their original color to a bright soft green color. Plain and simple. Just a recoloring of the eyes whenever it is on. NO special abilities with the eyes what so ever.

Fighting Style
The Ōshiro take a more "balls your in face" approach when it comes to fighting. What does this mean? Well, the Ōshiro's philosophy is more lightning, more winning. They tend to push their limits easily due to the fact that they feel as if they need to be using as much lightning when fighting as possible. While this makes them a formidable threat, it also puts them in a dangerous situation all too often. It is because of their fighting style that they put themselves at risk of running out of chakra during fights.

Kekkei Genkai:

Quote :: True Lightning - Shin Kaminari[真雷]
[Lightning Manipulation]
A lightning bolt is created when the negative charges in a storm cloud meet with the positive charges in the air. So it would be plausible that if a human were able to emit negative charges through their body...then essentially they would be able to create their own source of lightning. How does this work? First off, Ōshiro clan members are born with the ability to create pockets of negative charges and dispatch them where they please. Where ever they decide to place these negative charges, the positive charges in the air will react with them to make lightning. It is possible for a clan member to create more than one pocket at a time but only as the following:

C-Rank: Up to 4 Pockets
B-Rank: Up to 8 Pockets
A-Rank: Up to 12 Pockets
S-Rank: Up to 24 Pockets

These pockets are important due to the fact that they will determine how much lightning you can manipulate at a time. Making the lightning itself of course will not cost any chakra. It is the making of the pockets that cost chakra.

Every time a pocket is made it will cost 1CP. The reason this CP cost is so low is because the KKG user will have to keep making pockets every time they wish to disperse more lightning. Essentially it is like they are "pissing" bullets if so to speak. So although it is a low cost, using the KKG effectively would burn through a ninja's chakra quite easily.

As for how far of a range the KKG has? It will vary on rank:

C-Rank: 15m
B-Rank: 20m
A-Rank: 25m
S-Rank: 30m

Note that these ranges are meant for how far the pockets of negatives charges can reach. As for how far the lightning may reach is a different story. For example, I may make a pocket in my hand and disperse it forward. The lightning will not stop until it has hit a solid object. That is just how lightning is.

[Charge Applications]
So like I said an Ōshiro has the ability to make pockets of negative charges. Although, making a lightning bolt takes quite a bit of negative charges. That is why making these pockets requires delays.

C-Rank: 5 Second Delay
B-Rank: 3 Second Delay
A-Rank: 2 Second Delay
S-Rank: 1 Second Delay

The reason these delays shorten with each rank is because the KKG will grow with the ninja. It becomes far easier for them to produce mass amounts of negative charges as they become more experienced with the art.

[Storage Technique]
Since this KKG is a bit of a party pooper on a ninja's chakra, the Ōshiro have devised a way to store lightning with in their body. This will serve as a back up defense for when making pockets are no longer an option.
This is NOT an extra pool of chakra in any way. It is strictly storing the lightning that they can create within their bodies. They do this by connecting the lightning to their chakra line all over their body. Essentially lightning will be stored through their whole entire body, staying connected to their chakra line. That being said, with all the lightning connected to their chakra line, they will be giving up the ability to have any other kind of elemental Ninjutsu affinity. There would simply not be any room for another elemental affinity in their bodies.

[Storage Distribution]
Since they store lightning in their bodies that they will use when low on chakra or have no chakra at all, there needs to be a limitation on how much lightning they can store. For sake of putting it into a numbers perspective, I will label the amounts with LP (Lightning Points).

*For C-Rank users only Exp. Genin and or C+ Nukenin will be to use this technique seeing as how baby C-Rankers are too inexperienced.

C-Rank: 40 LP
B-Rank: 60 LP
A-Rank: 80 LP
S-Rank: 100 LP

Now, the LP may be looked at as a way to give clan members a second chakra pool but I assure you that is not the case. These Lightning Points will obviously only be usable for CLAN Techniques. Using LP for any chakra based jutsus or techniques would be impossible. Not to mention most clan based jutsus will require some form of chakra anyways.

[Affinities]
As I said earlier, any other kind of elemental affinity besides lightning would be impossible. Although, I want to clear something up. This KKG is NOT chakra based lightning/Raiton. It is REAL lightning. Therefore being able to perform Raiton jutsus and using this clan's KKG would be two different things.

That being said, it WOULD be possible for a clan member to have ONE elemental affinity BUT that ONE affinity would HAVE to be Raiton. It would only make sense seeing as how lightning would be coursing through your body as it is.

Clan Jutsu:

Quote :: Name: Kaminari Bakuhatsu | Lightning Explosion[雷爆発]
Rank: C-S
Type: Kekkei Genkai
Range: C(5m) B(10m) A(15m) S(20m)
Element: Shin Kaminari
Description: This jutsu is only meant to be used on the user itself. First, the clan member will create four pockets of negative charges on his back. Once they release the pockets, they will use the explosion to propel them forward. Depending on rank, the range that the explosion can propel you varies.
Chakra Cost: 4CP

Name: Torapu o Tobu | Fly Trap[トラップを飛ぶ]
Rank: B-S
Type: Kekkei Genkai
Range: B-A(10m) S(15m)
Element: Shin Kaminari
Description: This will be used as a means to capture someone or at least deter movement. First, the user will create 8 pockets of negative charges in a radius according to rank. These pockets will have chakra embued in them. Once the lightning strikes, the user must keep his chakra flowing through the lightning to make them last. The user will then use chakra again to make the columns of lightning react to the target(s) within the radius of this jutsu. The duration will last for about 10 seconds, 15 seconds for S-Rank. If the target(s) does not escape the jutsu within 10 seconds, they will have enough lightning running through their system to incapacitate them. If they do manage to escape before 10 seconds are up, their movement will be seriously slowed. This jutsu can only be done with the user standing in place.
Chakra Cost: 30CP

Name: Tenshi Bakuhatsu | Angelic Explosion[天使爆発]
Rank: S
Type: Kekkei Genkai
Range: Close Range
Element: Shin Kaminari
Description: A last resort jutsu. The user must sacrifice all of his chakra in order to make a pocket of negative charges around a target. The user must also have a minimum of 50CP in order to perform this jutsu in the first place. In order for the ninja to create a pocket big enough to envelope an enemy inside of it, the user must first find a way to grab a hold of the enemy. Once in the grasp of the user, the user will then use the remainder of his chakra (minimum of 50) to wrap the enemy in a pocket of negative charges. Then once the pocket disperses and the negative charges meet with the positive.....well boom. The user MUST stay where he is, meaning he can not make the pocket and run. He has to keep on holding on to the enemy until the lightning goes off. Like I said, last resort....
Chakra Cost: Remainder of CP with a minimum of 50CP

History:

Posts : 1729

Special Characteristics wrote:: Name: Raiton Master
Rank: A
Type: Chakra Based
Physical Requirements: Must have Lightning Prodigy
Training Requirements: A 1600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic.
Description: The title given to those elite ninja who've become legendary for their power and skill over the lightning element. Being classified as a prodigy during their early years, the ninja has now mastered the lightning element and attains great power from their continuous training. The ninja's lightning is now 40% more destructive, which is measured via the increase in voltage and in size. The user can now more naturally flow lightning chakra through their body which allows them absorb other forms of lightning that is of lower rank than the user and nullify the attack. Through such mastery they also gain the ability to access a sub-element from the lightning element known as 'Vibration Release'. This allows them to create specialized jutsu under this sub-element.

Winged Blade wrote:: Name: Purple Sky - Lightning Enthusiast
Rank: B
Type: Chakra Based
Physical Requirements: Must specialize in Ninjutsu, must have Purple Sky - Lightning Prodigy, and have Lightning Affinity.
Training Requirements: A 1200 word post is required to gain this special characteristic.
Description: A trait achieved by extensive training and manipulation of Lightning to improve one's skill. Their power over the element is so large the ninja is considered a Lightning Prodigy. Because of this, the users lightning becomes a dark shade of purple, and their Raiton jutsu are 30% more destructive with their increased size and voltage.

To keep this short and brief; large components of the bloodline, ie Raiton Immunity and different coloration, are already possible or in implementation by our Special Characteristic system.

Which is to say, your clan is, at best, unnecessary, and at worst, can't be approved for the "Raiton Immunity" reason alone.

Posts : 16

1)I have edited out any discoloration and immunity gimmicks.
2)I have also added clan jutsu to be overlooked before I begin on the History.

Age : 29 Posts : 211

Lemme make sure I understand this right.

The clan basically has the ability to create lightning without hand seals and with minimum chakra? And the lightning is stronger than other peoples'?

Posts : 16

It is stronger, but not much. It has different properties. It reacts quicker than a raiton jutsu. And yes it has minimum chakra to make one pocket but with the way they fight their chakra will go down fairly quickly. They fight with as many pockets as they can, so for example a B-Rank ninja will use up to 8 pockets. They will constantly be making more pockets within every post which will drain their chakra rather quickly. Not to mention that lightning is unpredictable. Whenever a ninja shoots the lightning out, it won't react the way they want to. The ninja can guide it towards a general area sure, but lightning will do its own thing. So not only is it taxing on the ninja, but it is also inaccurate. Stronger? Yes. Quicker? Yes. Accurate? Not at all.

Age : 29 Posts : 211

So let's see here.

As a Genin, your Raiton Jutsus are about C+ strength, require no handseals and minimal chakra but you can't control them very well. For the 4 chakra it would take on a Genin to use all 4 pockets, they've just used 4 jutsu that would cost about 4 chakra each, correct?

Posts : 16

The C+ note that I put in there was only referring to the Storage Technique. It will not give them C+ strength. Also I can see how the minimum chakra can be a bit of a problem. I will change them but could you give some suggestions as to how much per pocket would be good?

Posts : 16

Bump. Im sorry I know Im bumping a little early but chances are I wont be on tomorrow and I'd like to get some opinions on my clan.

Posts : 1729

Working on it Ōshiro Clan [Shin Kaminari] (WIP) 287405

Posts : 16

OK I hate to be this guy but I'm gonna. I realize that as far as staff comes, Travis and Aaron are the only ones who do anything around here. And even then Travis works like a lot. I get it. But can I please just get SOME real constructive criticism on this clan.

Posts : 16

OK SO. I've decided to scrap this clan. I have a new idea in mind. Thank you for taking the time to look at it, for those that did.

Age : 29 Posts : 1585

Please consider it before blaming staff. I personally didn't read through your clan because I saw that two staff members were already pointing things out so I waited to see what would happen. Do you want me to archive this clan?

Age : 29 Posts : 1585

Archived due to owner's request.