Enkou Clan #Completed

Age : 27 Posts : 332

'Forever Rising from the Ashes'

Spoiler:

Clan Name:
Enkou

Location:
The Enkou clan is location at the peak of Kumogakure's tallest mountain in a place known as 'The Shrouded Village.' As the name suggests not much is known about the village apart from the fact that its inhabitants are a mysterious people. The villagers are very reclusive to the outside world and are believed to be oblivious as to the political situation of any of the major villages, even Kumogakure.

Despite their reclusive nature to the outside world, inside the village is very friendly and everyone is extremely open to each other. There are not many inhabitants and as such, everyone knows everyone else and the children have a strong bond with each other. The village is completely self sustained with most of their materials taken from the surrounding mountain.

In very rare cases, the Raikage will send a messenger up the mountain and ask for some members of the clan to do very special and dangerous missions that are likely to cause injury. This is due to their unique skill set that allows them to take huge amounts of damage and be relatively fine, or for them to fight many foes at once or in a row. Also, due to the way they live they are very disciplined and can often follow what the Raikage needs exactly. Spies will often be of the Enkou clan.

Signature Traits:
Light Skin
Members of the Enkou clan have unusually light skin compared to the rest of Kumogakure's inhabitants. This is due to the fact that the climate on top of the mountain, although hot is no where near as bright as it is near the base. This is also because the village is in shade most of the day due to the way it was built as to stop the villagers getting burnt consistently as a result of the intense rays.

Flame Coloured Hair
Due to the nature of the Kekkei Genkai and what it does to the human form, the hair of the clan members has over years of evolution undergone slight changes until eventually every clan member that has been born within the past 300 years has had flame coloured hair.

The Birthmark of Power
Special members of the clan are born with a birthmark that grants the Kekkei Genkais use, sort of like a rite of passage more than the ability being in the mark. If it is cut out of the body, it doesn't stop the use of the Kekkei Genkai as it regrows back in its original place, it doesn't grow back at any particularly fast pace, the same as a normal wound would. It is unknown why this mark is on the body, or where the mark will be, but the clan members see it as a blessing from the Gods.
The mark itself is simply a black phoenix with, it can be positioned anywhere on the body and the size is dependent on each individual member. The bigger the mark the better, as it increases your ranking within the clan, and as a result the privileges.
Note: If cut out, doesn't stop the power of the Kekkei Genkai, it is just a symbol of the user having the power of the Kekkei Genkai

The Fire Lord's Religion - The Phoenix Deity
The Fire Lord is worshiped by every member of the clan, and is what the members believe give them their unique power. They are very thankful of the abilities given to them and often spend most of their time in prayer. The bigger the members mark is, the more blessed they are said to be and as a result the more blessed members will often have a very harsh and time restricted routine with most of the day taken up in prayer and the rest of the day training.

The members of the clan worship the Fire Lord due to a phoenix that they rarely see at the top of the mountain. Upon it's first sighting the three people were shocked at what they saw but were convinced by it, the magnificent and majestic bird as it flew away across the skyline up to the top of the mountain. They didn't know where it had come from but they decided to move their families up the mountain and stay there to worship the bird. A few days later each of the men each had a vision in the dream where they saw the bird. Words were heard in the background of the dream that although eerie, seemed powerful and demanded attention. It was the Fire Lord telling them to worship him, the phoenix.

Within the religion, there are ranks just like with every religion. However, what makes this religion different is that ranking isn't done by desire, initiation or age, it is done by your birth mark. The greater the birth mark, the higher your ranking is, that being said if the person is below the age of 15 their rank is nullified due to them being too immature to actually help the clan function. The ranking is also done in a military like fashion, if someone higher than you asks you to do something then you should do it. The ranking is never abused though, such as ordering a lower ranked person to do your chores, it matters more in terms of clan privilege such as learning more difficult jutsu or being entrusted with special tasks.

At the top of the rankings, you have the High-Priest. The High-Priest is the leader of the clan and is the one with the biggest marking. Generally it is done by every second generation that someone will be born with a full body tattoo that will be visible whether they wear clothes or not, unless all piece of skin is covered below the chin. They are seen as the strongest, most reliable and greatest among the clan. They will only be found deep in the temple in their private room praying or training before the statue unless they are doing official business, they are also the only one allowed to see the phoenix.

Next is the Bishop, whose tattoo covers a full body part like the back or an arm/leg. They generally worship deep inside the temple in separate rooms. They are seen as very powerful and are trusted to do more serious tasks within the clan. They will most likely go on missions below S-rank should the clan be requested.

Then, you have the Priest. These members have a tattoo on a smaller part of the body such as a hand or foot. They just go about their daily lives trying to help the village and religion prosper, they are the standard workers who are expected to keep the village functioning properly.

Finally you have the ordinary villagers who were unlucky enough to not even possess a tattoo, like the Priest they too are expected to keep the village functioning properly, but unlike the Priests they will never be asked to do anything for the clan.

Fire Affinity
Due to worshiping the Fire Lord members of the clan have a natural affinity to the fire element as without it the clans Kekkei Genkai would be useless and ineffective. It is also a sense of pride among the members to be the best fire element users around.

Kekkei Genkai:
Shinjinbukai-Yomigaeri
'In times of despair, we will arise Victorious'

The bloodline limit known to the Enkou clan is known as the Shinjinbukai-Yomigaeri. It grants the user the ability to transform into a phoenix, however it doesn't have to be a full phoenix if the user desires only certain body parts can be changed, such as changing the arms to wings whilst retaining the hands or turning the feet into talons, thus making it a hybrid transformation. As a result of this, the Kekkei Genkai adds nothing to the Enkou members human body, such as heightened senses or increased speed; all the benefits must and can only be attained by transforming.
Whilst in full phoenix form, the user gains regenerative abilities much like a phoenix has. They also gain a body of fire that although doesn't weaken taijutsu used on the phoenix, it will burn the whoever hit the flames much like a katon jutsu would. The burns severity is dependent on the rank of the transformation, but it is the same as being hit by a rank equivalent katon jutsu. The drawback to this, is that any equipment the user has is unusable as well as any other jutsu they may wish to utilize.
As well as special abilities that the form grants the user, their are also physical benefits too, such as increased vision (200 meters of clear vision). Like most birds, the phoenix too has increased vision range, this allows the user to see much further than an ordinary ninja. The next, is obviously the very powerful wings. The wings are able to deliver burning strikes in place of elbows or punches, the wings also allow the user to fly about perform aerial maneuvers. Finally, you have the talons, which like the wings allow the user to kick twice as hard, with the added benefit of being able to grip, claw and slash at whoever is their opponent.
The hybrid form, is mostly used for defense. This is because using the full transformation allows for the user to attack with jutsu quicker and to be more versatile as well as to hit harder, whereas the half transformation allows the user to block with the wings for example to cause the one striking to be burned, or allow the user to quickly fly out of the way of a projectile. Up to 4 limbs, can be transformed at once, however depending on the limbs, the user will need to pay multiple times for the jutsu to constantly be transformed

The transformation is a complete change in the human anatomy. Firstly, the bones of the human skeleton become less dense, as for a bird to fly it needs to be lighter, also hair becomes replaced with feathers that grow from all the pores on the body. Secondly, the skull is similar, except getting larger to incorporate the new height of eight meters. The beak grows in place of the nose and is far harder than the bone is. The contents of the arms (muscles bones etc) elongate due to the length increase from the transition from the human arm to the phoenix' wing, the wing also contains many more joints for it to bend in multiple places to allow flight. Flight is done by flapping the wings with a large amount of force so displace the particles below the body enough to push the user upwards, repeating this action allows the user to continue going upwards. The torso is similar with the major changes being the bone density, and elongation of the contents. The legs become much longer, however bend slightly due to the natural standing position of the bird is with its legs bent, the legs also get slightly thicker due to the feathers as well as an increase in muscle. Finally, the feet completely change shape in that the heel grows a claw that protrudes out the back of it, the heel also grows beyond the back of the would be ankle, much like that of a bird. The top of the feet, near where the ball of the foot would be splits into two taking the shape of a snakes tongue with the points being two more talons. Finally, the bone structure changes drastically in the it has far more joints near the 3 'toes' or claws to allow them to grip onto something to hold or pick it up.

The Special Characteristic

Spoiler:

History:
'Although feared, We will revive the planet once the foolish have destroyed it'

Almost seven centuries ago a group of shinobi were wandering around the mountains of Kumogakure, it was a hot clear day and it allowed you to see everything; it made the weather ideal to track down any spies that may be around and seeking refuge to relay messages back to wherever they needed to go without being detected.
It was a rather uneventful day, but then again each group had been allocated a week by the Raikage, to search the mountains and just around town looking for anything suspicious, these ninja were trained very well because it was essential trying to catch anbu - who were trained to disappear. They were very good sensors and could even recognize the difference between a shinobi's chakra or a jutsu being performed.
On this day, something rather unusual happened. The group wandered further up the mountain than normal as they were doing a particularly thorough search through boredom and to evade doing other things since this job was easy. No one was ever caught up here, but it was still just in case something might happen. "Better safe than sorry" the Raikage would say. As a result of venturing up the mountain, near enough to see the pinnacle, they noticed a very large, and very well disguised nest. "Bigger than any bird I've seen" said one of the men, to which another of them replied "that's not a birds nest, it looks like its built for a dragon." The men all laughed at the thought of a dragon being perched atop of Kumogakure's largest mountain.
The laughs were quickly silence by a very large and powerful sound, that did indeed sound like a bird, but nothing was in sight. "Whoa, what was that" said one in a panic, "sounds like the start of a genjutsu, problems." said the man who hadn't spoken yet. They quickly readied their weapons and got into positions to defend from all sides. Then the men began to shake and cower in fear at the presence they could feel. "You feel that, bro?" "Yeah, that's no ninja" came the reply. "That's no bijuu either, the chakras too pure and doesn't feel corrupted" said the more silent man.
With that, a massive flame came into sighting miles above the mountain top. At first, the men believed it to be a meteor and immediately tried running to safety, however after a few paces they realized it wasn't big enough, nor did it move fast enough to be a meteor. In awe, they watched this massive flame silhouette, that didn't really take the shape of anything they've seen, descend until it perched itself on the nest.

The Fire Lords Arrival

The giant bird of flame just sat there, seemingly oblivious to the men and continued doing whatever it was that it was doing. The men just stood there silent and still. They were staring, gazing, admiring, the majestic being front of them. After the awe had worn off enough or the men to start talking one of them said, rather quietly to not upset the bird, "It's a Phoenix." "You mean the mythical bird? That dies and gets revived from it's ashes?" there was a pause while the men thought this over. "That's the one" came the reply, with that they all started realizing what exactly was in front of them, this was no bijuu for it was too divine, its chakra too pure and its movement too graceful. When in its presence it just seems to calm you and make you desire peace, rather than make you lust for blood and warfare. The men were amazed at their sighting and felt ecstatic, despite this they came to the conclusion that they shouldn't tell anyone about what they had witnessed for fear of harm coming to the bird, or it harming anyone. They all went down the mountain joyous, calm and laughing at one enough due to silly antics that friends do to show off and have a good time.

Through destruction, something new can be born

A couple of days later, each man experienced the same vision. It came to them in a dream, and was very strong and not reminiscent of a dream at all, it felt very real, almost as if they were awake. In the dream they saw the mighty Phoenix calling to them in an eerie and powerful voice that simply demanded attention. Once the men approached the mighty bird, it's voice grew much softer, much more beautiful and angelic. It told them that she was the fire lord, and that they should worship her. This shocked the men, and none of them agreed or declined the request, they just simply went along with the vision. After its request the bird flew off, leaving a blazing trail flowing off of it.
In the morning the men met and discussed what the best course of action would be, none of them were too sure of whether or not to worship the bird, due to the repercussions that could follow. After a thorough description about if it would be possible to live on the mountain, and revisiting the peak to make sure they were correct they found it would be very easy to live there without the need to ever go back down, with this they packed up their families and moved up to the top of the mountain. At first life was hard due to having to do a lot of work to build houses, set up agricultural ground and find materials, but as time passed life became much easier. Every day they would spend at least two hours in worship to the bird, just sitting before the nest and praying. The children were brought up to worship the bird as a deity and pretty soon, they too followed the worship routine their fathers followed.
Every now and then people would venture up all the way to the top of the mountain to see what was up there, just like the men originally had, and the men would convert them into following the grand phoenix. After a century of this, the men had managed to convert around a thousand of Kumogakure's villagers into the 'Religion of the Fire Lord.' The belief was growing rapidly and everyone and their family had stayed up there in worship, however every now and then believers would head back down due to their own personal reasons, such as losing faith or simply not liking how it was.

'The Shrouded Village'

After a lot of building work, a temple was built, many more houses and the land at the top of the mountain was quickly taken up until they were now a quarter of the way down, the houses even had a mighty wall to hide itself. It was beginning to look more and more like a village. In fact, to the Raikage and the villagers below the mountain, they had called it 'The Shrouded Village' due to its mystery and no one, except the very few that had joined back to standard life, knew what was in the newly formed village. It was a village dedicated to The Fire Lord, the mighty phoenix.
Eventually, the Raikage sent a member of his special forces up to seek out what was going on up here and how it would just, seeming to randomly, get bigger. After a few days up the mountain, studying what the villagers were doing and seeing what it was all about the secret forces member went back to tell the Raikage what was going on, and how the villagers treated him with hospitality and kindness, without asking any questions. The Raikage realized that they weren't a bad people, and that they weren't, and let them be. He kept the news hidden as he felt he should respect their privacy if that is what they want.

'The Birth Rite'

Two centuries later, the phoenix did something drastic. He gathered up all the leaders of the village, there was roughly seven of them, and he told them news that would change the village forever. 'Due to many years of worship and prayer that you have given to me, due to the hardship i have seen you endeavor and ask nothing back, I will bless you with my form.' The men were shocked, and definitely surprised at what they had heard, and none of them really knew what the phoenix meant, but they weren't given the opportunity to imagine, either.
Almost instantaneously, the village went up in flames. Or so they thought, there was no damage done but every single human member of the village was given a mark somewhere on their body, it was a symbol of the religion or clan. The phoenix described that the bigger the marking, the stronger the holder is when it comes to learning the secrets of the transformation, furthermore he described it allowed the users to transform into a massive phoenix gaining weaker variants of the special abilities a phoenix has. He also stated that everyone from that moment that would be born would have a marking also, as long as the parents were worshipers.
Due to this new ability, the users were unable to control it as they weren't used to it. Quickly, problems starting arising such as people going down the mountain to show everyone of Kumogakure what had happened, they saw this as a way to make worship stronger, to spread the word.
However, the reverse happened, as people were unable to control the flames that engulfed the body, there were many casualties and many deaths. People began to fear the clan despite the incident being an accident, and as a result the members were banished from the village by the raikage and were ordered to stay reclusive, up there on the mountain.

'The Rise of the Enkou'

Just like that, the clan had a drastic change. They realized that they could no longer go by the same names, and thus it had to be changed. It was a quick decision but the leaders decided upon the name 'Enkou.' This was the name they would use to hide their identities, and to continue worship, it was seen as a very respectful thing to do - dedicating even your name to the phoenix.
The clan continued to go about their daily lives, however there was a big change that occurred inside many of the members, they wanted revenge upon the village that had banished them, they wanted revenge on the Raikage, and they wanted to be accepted. They felt they had been wrong and they decided it was their duty to make it right. This split the clan right down the middle. From the once peaceful clan that Kumogakure, to a now conflicted clan, one half desiring war, the other half simply desiring peace. This would become a great problem for the Raikage in the future.

'From the depths of Hell we will arise, and we will bring doom.'

Some centuries past with the clan still split. Although they were nice to each other, and acted like everything was normal it was only because they considered each other family still despite the change of views. Everything was the same as before the split when it came to feelings amongst villagers, the only difference being was the desire for war.
The side thirsty for blood, had been planning major and minor attacks for many years but had never been able to pull off a major attack due to the leader of the clan always favouring peace, and only ever allowing minor actions to be taken to damage Kumogakure and keep them paranoid of the possible threat the clan could become. Every now and then a phoenix would appear somewhere in the village causing trouble, only to disappear again, and after every sighting the Raikage would send a large group of people up to check what was going on, only to be sent away contrite that the clan was peaceful, this meant that there were a few stray dogs in the clan but overall it had a good reputation, but also a large level of fear associated with it.
However, something major happened seven centuries after the clans birth. Two leaders of the clan were born, twins. This meant that each side of the clan could have their own separate leader who could allow for attacks, all they needed was to raise one of the children to desire war, instead of peace. Although equal in terms of power and authority, the boys had very different personalities and didn't have to consult each other on their actions.
At the age of fourteen, the young leader gathered up the war desiring half of the clan. He made a very bold statement and said "From today, we will take back what is ours. Freedom. From today, we will show them what fear is. From today, we will show them who they can control and banish!" The crowd roared and slowly over a few months the members began to move down the mountain and into village life, unnoticed and preparing an attack. They integrated quickly and acted like normal, despite planning to cause the biggest civil war the world has ever seen. He left every single member of the clan, peaceful or aggressive the message: "When we strike, we will strike hard and fast. When we reveal ourselves, they will cower in fear and be apologetic. When we take the village, they will know our pain. They will learn of our power, and they will view us as Gods. From the depths of hell, we will arise and we will bring doom. ~Yours sincerely Yasuo Enkou"

Clan Jutsu:
'The Fire Lord Blessed Us With this Form, We Will Prove our Worth'

Spoiler:

Age : 27 Posts : 332

#Bumpage

Age : 34 Posts : 344

Visible Red Aura - This sound a bit too much like the Chakra Aura Social Special Characteristic and, as such, I'd rather you removed it. You can still achieve the same effect by getting that same Social SC for your character, however.
The Birthmark of Power: Care to specify a bit more? Where, exactly, is this mark? What does it look like? How big is it? How fast does it regenerate once cut out? You mention it doesn't stop the usage of the KKG because it regrows, but let us assume the regrowing isn't automatic. Would the KKG be inaccessible while it is regenerating?
"Upon it's first sighting the three men people (...)": You might want to fix that mistake there.
Fire Lord : what is she, exactly? A supposed deity in the form of a bird? Just a bird? Just a delusion by the clan members? Who exactly is this bird that apparently has the ability to grant people bloodlines and powers? I'm not overly fond of the concept...
Kekkei Genkai: Okay, finally getting to the meaty part;
- Please specify regarding the nature of the transformation. Is it a henge-sort of transformation? Is it a full transformation, where the user's body actually turns into a phoenix? If it's the latter, then please elaborate a bit more into the process itself - how exactly does it happen? How long does it take, what effects does it have on the user while he's transforming, and so on and so forth. The more details you can get regarding this, the better.

- Regardless of you having readily available fire or not, Ninjutsu and the likes generally require handseals. Even when they have water available, Suiton users require handseals, do they not? Handseals are a ninja's way of transforming potential energy into effective energy, thus bringing for the Ninjutsu. Furthermore, there is already an available Special Characteristic that grants that for D ranked techniques and lower.

- Please specify on the vision range, if you can.

- Wings twice as strong as the user? No. Keep them to the same strength. Same for the talons.

- I would require the same kind of stipulations for the hybrid form. Information, information, information, please. You don't have nearly as much as you could and should, to allow for this bloodline to be understood better.

- How does the hybrid form allow the user to " attack with jutsu quicker"?

- Furthermore, what is the limit between hybrid and full form? How many body parts can you transform while still keeping it hybrid?
The Blessing of the Fire Lord - What is this supposed to be? A special characteristic, a bloodline, a technique? Because regardless the case, you should mention as much, as you left it up in the air. Additionally, do be aware that if it is accepted (which, for now, depends on what it exactly is supposed to be), these chakra reductions would be unable to stack with any other means of cost reduction, including and especially any Special Characteristics. They would also need to be toned down to fit in with those same SCs.
You seem to refer to the phoenix sometimes as a 'she', and sometimes as a 'he'. Please decide on one and correct the other mentions.
You may want to shorten the timeframes a bit, if you don't mind. Seven centuries of history is quite a lot, specially considering that (if I'm not mistaken), Kumo has only has 5 Raikages, so far, in this forum. Just a suggestion.
The Form of the Fire Lord:
- Technically speaking, if you have each wing be 2 meters long, your wingspan will extend over 4 meters, as you're not accounting for the width of the person's body.

- Again, striking twice as hard is a big no no.

- Loss of two ranks by other Katon techniques seems quite a bit too much. One rank would be more fitting, and you should mention it only applies to techniques of the same rank or lower than the character in question.

- I would also go as far as saying that the burns should not be equivalent to the rank you are, but at the most equal to one rank under the rank of the character using it.

- As I said before, not needing handseals is also not allowed.

- Your regeneration is completely over the top. First and foremost, C ranked shouldn't be able to heal more than minor cuts, and even then, it shouldn't be able to heal throughout the whole body, at the same time. Anything that is instantaneous healing is, also, just a big no. Please remove such mentions. Limb regrowth is quite over the top, at whatever rank. Once you lose a limb, there's no turning back. Throughout all of the ranks, the speeds at which things are healed are also way too fast. The list goes on and on and on.
Seriously, this regeneration needs a major dose of toning down. Regeneration is not something that should be taken to these extents in the least. If you put it into perspective, this is much stronger than Tsunade's Strength of a Hundred, which not only requires a long process of storing chakra and severely shortens the user's lifespan, but also happens to be a banned technique, here on US. Either you seriously rework this, or I'll have to give you an overall "no". And I don't even want to touch the subject of 'resurrection'.
Hybrid Transformation: same as above applies.

Age : 27 Posts : 332

Firstly: Thank you for not just flat out declining the idea <3
Aura: Removed
Birthmark: fixed, but i did specify size + placement at other parts of the clan.
Fire lord: Simple Deity, but i needed a reason to be a phoenix..randomly transforming through evolution seemed a bit far fetched, less so than this one XD
KKG: Vision - specified
Power - removed
handseals - removed (added? XD)
Hybrid - Doesnt attack quicker than the main transformation simply because you're half and half..you cant expect me to be perfect XD
Transformation - explained

SC: well, the S-rank is higher than the clan master SC because that's only A-rank and this only affect katon jutsu whereas the other affect all (clan?) jutsu either way, this doesn't buff power so its about even.

Time frame: wouldn't of thought it'd be too important so w/e xD
Gender of phoenix: its a deity does it particularly matter? xD

Form of the fire lord / hybrid form
Wing size: 4 meters technically is needed for flight, so 2 should be find, besides i will probably be striking with them so it isn't a big issue
Burn of the same rank, considering the chakra cost whether you noticed or not kinda high xD
hand signs removed
Regeneration: Toned down, however, i kept the limb regrowth, made it longer time span upped rank- due to high chakra costs i feel it should be fair strong considering if im not a kage using the jutsu for 2 posts, i pretty much half my chakra gone.

Think i got everything, if i didn't sorry i was jumping back and forth trying to double check everything and it got a bit lost

Age : 34 Posts : 344

No problem, it wouldn't be fair for you if I just told you to delete the whole thing altogether without giving you a chance.

Fire Lord: Okay, well... Personally I feel rather uncomfortable with having deities going around, one way or the other, because it's a rather bad precedent to open and, soon enough, we'd have ten thousand different gods granting people random powers. Is there any chance you could, instead, make it into a myth/legend of the origins of the clan and the powers they have, something the members believed in from long, long ago, rather than actual fact? This would end up meaning that the whole god story would probably just be a story, an allegory to explain the (otherwise normal) origins of the clan's power. I don't know, just my personal feelings on this.
Gender: Well, not so much as mattering, but it would help with the coherence of the whole application as a whole. Helps it make more sense, and whatnot. If you're rather have it as it is, however... its entirely up to you.
Blessing of the Fire Lord: So it IS a SC. That was my main doubt, as you didn't seem to have specified in either direction. Regardless, I must insist in it staying at the 40% limit of the other SCs that apply reductions. While you're right that that limit is for A ranked ones, yours is also quite widespread, affecting all Katon techniques, regardless if they're custom, canon or clan-based, as well as their specialty. If you want, you can merely cap it at A rank and keep it at 40%, though.
Transformation: Thank you for the detailing. Just a heads-up - do keep in mind that with hollow bones, chances are they will be slightly weaker versus blunt impacts and trauma. While hollow bones are generally supported, from the inside, to be strengthened and be able to withstand the rigors of flight, take off and the general life of a bird, they are still hollow and weaker than mammal bones.
Time Frame: It isn't a huge deal at all. I'm just saying it's more or less inconsistent with what's going on, and since it barely affects anything in terms of your clans abilities, plot and bloodlines, I figured it might be a good idea to just suggest you change it, anyway. You still have that mention in there, also, in case you were implying you changed it.
Form of the Fire Lord: While it is true that the cost is rather high, it does have more effects than JUST the burning. If, say, you manage to make contact with someone once per turn, for the whole duration of the technique, you'll see that, at lower ranks, the cost to cause equivalent burns using Katon techniques would cover the overall cost of the techniques, alone. At higher ranks, the cost of the Katons would be even higher than the whole cost of the technique. With changing it to a rank lower, it is still effective from a defensive/offensive point of view and doesn't reach the point where its too much. Also, don't forget this burning thing is a mere side effect, and clearly not the main ability of the bloodline, at the moment.
Hitting Twice as hard: you still have plenty of mentions of this part of the ability. Please remove them.
Regeneration: Okay, my bad, I should've been clearer on this. I think you'll be hard-pressed to find an inherent regeneration that doesn't get outright denied. Most forms of regeneration are banned altogether in this forum and those that aren't (if any), are tied in with Jinchuuriki, if I'm not mistaken. As such, even if you tone it down significantly, I'm not sure if it would be viable to keep it as an ability in the end, as it would probably end up being something not overly significant in the grand scheme of things. Also, when I mentioned the limitations of the ranks in my previous post, I meant to do so in absolutes. What this means is - for example, C ranked shouldn't even be able to heal broken bones, ever. Same with regrowing limbs altogether, and so on.

Those low ranked ones could be fixed to, like I said, smaller things (C ranked being only able to heal the cuts you mentioned) and be fine in the end, but the problems begin at the higher ranks. When you enter the domain of being able to inherently heal severely damaged organs, hold back death and heal fatal wounds, recovering from your deathbed and even regrowing limbs, we begin to have a problem having the whole thing approved, in the first place. Despite the time frames, it is too close with full-on Jinchuuriki regeneration (that is pretty overpowered in itself and mostly a trademark of them), as well as the Tsunade Techniques i mentioned in my previous post, which happen to be banned. Not to mention, healing is heavily tied in with medical techniques, in the first place, and require the Medical Specialty.

I can see this being a really big deal for you, though, because it should be the core of a phoenix-based clan, but I really have no idea how to let anything of the likes slide, in the end. Perhaps you could attempt making it a separate healing technique requiring Medical as a specialty to work, while giving it its own cost? Do keep in mind that it would still be severely limited but, at least, it may be passable. That would, naturally, mean that the bloodline and clan jutsu would need to be changed to accommodate this.

Perhaps, if you disagree with this notion altogether, and still wish to attempt to get this through as is(which is your right), you should PM Adam and run this by him because, personally, I'm not comfortable in the least with something such at this regeneration ability in the terms you put it as.
Still regarding the costs of your full transformation, you write it as 60 (15 per turn), as an S ranked. Yet, in your latest comment, you imply that it spends half of your chakra pool in two posts, unless you're a Kage. Well, a regular S ranked ninja has a chakra pool of 170, so even if you use the full technique once, that's 60 chakra gone. According to your post stipulations, this would still not heal a limb completely, but all the same, you'd spend 4 posts enjoying all of these boons, even without the limb regeneration, healing damaged organs entirely and even holding back fatal injuries. When you put all of this together, I don't think the difference whether it is expensive or not does not lie with the limb regeneration.

Age : 27 Posts : 332

Fair enough, i knew from the off this would be a dodgy clan to try and pass, it was just something i had to do impulsively.

"you miss 100% of the chances you don't take"

^That sort of thing, just archive this and i'll head back to the drawing board ^^ Thanks for your time and effort, though, and sorry to be a nuisance by having it archived XD

Age : 34 Posts : 344

You weren't a nuisance at all. Thank you for being reasonable and for attempting to change the things I asked you to change. Cheers.

Archived