Musings of a rambling Englishman

Age : 37 Posts : 1136

Greetings Intrepid shinobi

I AM SPARTACUS....

No wait I think we are off to a false start here. My sincerest apologies, not twenty words into the post and I have only gone and confused myself. But do not fret my quick thinking associates I’m sure if we consider my position carefully we can all correctly determine who precisely I am. As I recall Spartacus was a slave who rebelled against the Roman republic during the consulship of Marcus Licinius Crassus. Furthermore I seem to remember he had a fondness for killing Romans while wearing a dress, a lovely floral one piece with hand stitched embroidery around the collar. After a moments careful reflection I am relatively certain I can’t be Spartacus. I cannot recall having killed many Roman’s of late and I want to reassure readers that floral dresses are strictly weekend attire only.

Hmm so who am I then? Anyone have an idea?

Why of course not, how incredibly forgetful of me. After all this was supposed to be an introduction where I told you something about myself and I have still not managed to tell you anthing of interest as yet. As usual I’ve already got off track and begun littering the place with unnecessary adjectives and pointless sub clauses.

I know. I will Google it. After all Google will surely know my name. If you could all kindly give me but a further moment more of your valuable time I will just go double check.

A brief pause in the narrative now takes place while the writer searches Google for commonly used names. Anyone seeking to live the moment should now stop reading and instead use this free moment to reflect on an important thing such as what your having for lunch tomorrow. The more industrious among you may even use the time to make yourself a cup of refreshing tea.

I am back. Once again thank you for your admirable patience. I am happy to confirm Google has come to the rescue. According to the Internet I am

..... Chuck Norris

..... or in the alternative Batman

No wait according to yet another site I am the plain one from One Direction. You know the one who is always being asked to strategically stand at the back and stare listlessly into the horizon on the off chance that the producers could convince onlookers he was lucky a passerby who just so happened to be caught in the frame at the wrong moment

No no no no. This is clearly all wrong.

This is completely unwarranted and unacceptable. I have been ranting on for over 4 paragraphs now and not a single one of you kind benevolent souls is any wiser concerning my identity. My sincerest condolences to anyone having to read this mindless drivel while I’ve yet to remember my name I can now safely presume that I must be a feckless idiot. I am evidently a demented half wit whose extreme dearth of mental acuity is so great that he is clearly unable to remember the one word that defines his very being. Doubtless I have been released in error from a maximum-security wing of a hospital for the incurably insane. But no need to worry, this wanton imbecile shall not take up any more of your precious day. Be assured that this inebriate will now take the overdue step of throwing himself out of the door to spare you the inconvenience.

At this point the writer notices a scrap of paper which had just fallen out of his waistcoat pocket.

Wait what’s this? I can’t believe it, now I am dropping litter. What on earth is this piece of paper doing in one's pocket? Regardless have no fear gentle shinobi I shall be certain to sweep away this detritus with my now overdue departure.

It is at this juncture that the writer notices that the piece of paper appears to have some sort of childish scribble on it. It was the type of jotting one might reasonably expect from a three year old boy trying to write his name with a crayon perilously lodged in his ear. It seemed oddly familiar, as if the barely legible text had an unnatural clarity to it that overlay is otherwise incomprehensible nature.

It was at this point that the writer experienced a rare moment of inspiration and actually recognised the writing as his own and promptly read it. It turned out to be a short 4 letter word that was distinctly familiar.

The writer cleared his throat and decided to try again.

Ahhm. Ladies and gentlemen, please allow a final opportunity to introduce myself.

I am Hugh.

If you have made it this far I would like you to take a moment and stop reading and then give yourself a big reassuring pat on the back. You have survived an inane and large pointless first post by myself, a master of overly long inane pointless posts. For those of you who may be reading this on the move or within the confines of crowded public transport to be careful when reaching back to insure you do not accidently pat others lest the confusion give rise to a potentially violently misunderstanding

Note for readers: The writer of this post does not accept liability, financial, criminal or otherwise for any harm incurred as a consequence of a misplaced pat on the back. The writer would further highlight that those who are incapable of patting their back without causing an incident have greater concerns then trying to sue him and should seek professional medical advice as soon as reasonably possible. The writer further hopes that any parties injured as a consequence of misconceived pat based interaction get well soon

So who am I?

I thought I was clear on this point already but to be certain there is absolutely, positively, unquestionably no confusion on the subject I am Hugh, a beleaguered Englishman in his twenties with a terrible tendency to write incessantly on a range of subjects including roleplaying. I like to think of myself as a well mannered and optimistic individual who likes to look for the best in people.

Technically I am not a new member. I was once, a long time ago somewhat of a regular on US who loved to role play. Adam kindly bestowed all sorts of ill deserved responsibility on me and I soon found myself on the site every day. Unfortunately the cruel mistress that is professional work (I am horrible lawyer who toils working for a charity focused on saving people’s homes) crept up on me and I became too busy to maintain any notable activity on US at all. I am sad to the say that I failed to maintain contact with a number of good friends and acquaintances I had at the time and I am truly sorry if my departure caused any unintended anguish or harm.

In recent months my work life balance has notably improved, in part due to a change in my role and in part because I am better at it allowing me more time to explore my former hobbies. I hope that some time in the near future this could include role playing once more on US.

My goals are as follows:

1) Familiarise myself with the sites current rules
2) Create a new character ( a simple one for once)
3) Have fun roleplaying with old faces and new ones alike (though most likely only casually)

I feel I must warn the kind members of US that I have a terrible habit of making horrendously long and intimidating posts. It is my fervent desire to correct this behaviour and find a suitable balance between being intriguingly deep and mind numbingly boring.

I will try to be on chat in the near future and would greatly appreciate any advice about the new creation system and character creation rules that you may be able to provide.

Thank you all for taking your time to read my humble reintroduction to Ultimate Shinobi.

Warmest Regards

Bob... I mean Hugh

Age : 32 Posts : 1912

Age : 31 Posts : 1490

I never thought I would live to see the day.

Age : 37 Posts : 2201

Welcome back to the site, Hugh. Smile

Age : 30 Posts : 1637

Hugh wrote:: Thank you all for taking your time to read my humble reintroduction to Ultimate Shinobi.

Warmest Regards

Bob... I mean Hugh

Musings of a rambling Englishman Ib17sAL5YVnec5

Age : 34 Posts : 344

Hey there, welcome back to US!

Age : 31 Posts : 1836

The truly terrifying thing is that this intro isn't even half as long as his usual RP posts.

Very pleased to see your return, Hugh. Welcome back!

Age : 37 Posts : 1136

Thanks for the very warm welcome so far. I look forward to roleplaying with many of you in the not so distance future.

Age : 29 Posts : 1585

Hello and welcome back Hugh!

Age : 30 Posts : 8965

No words.

Age : 27 Posts : 2538

Take me out of the oven b/c I am DONE.

Age : 31 Posts : 2547

Are you sure you aren't Chuck Norris? scratch

Age : 35 Posts : 1113

Yay, Hugh's back! *hugs* Glad to hear the shackles of the working world aren't weighing quite so heavy these days.

Age : 31 Posts : 1900

I already said hi but again, hi and welcome back!

Posts : 730

Posts : 12

Hey Hugh! I've already said hi to you in chat, but I'm feeling friendly. ^^ (... plus I need a couple more posts before I can PM anyone) >>

Age : 24 Posts : 1767

I missed having another posh Southern Brit around. The impoverished ones from up north just don't cut it. Welcome back Hughsies.

Age : 33 Posts : 718

Winged Blade wrote:: I missed having another posh Southern Brit around. The impoverished ones from up north just don't cut it. Welcome back Hughsies.

I wish to know more about this North/South Brit rivalry. Are there gentlemanly rugby games and debates held over tea? Or are there gangs and stuff?