Stop squirming [Custom Jutsus]

Age : 24 Posts : 1767

Non-Elemental Jutsu

B Rank wrote:

Name:

Rank:

Type:

Range:

Element:

Description:

Chakra Cost:

Suiton Ninjutsu

B Rank wrote:

Name: Jet Spray - Funsha Shibuku
Rank: B
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close [0m-5m] Medium [5m-10m]
Element: Suiton [Water Release]
Description: This jutsu creates a dozen spraying jets of water in different areas in a spherical perimeter around the target. One from directly above and below the target, four from the major compass points in respect to the target's position, four diagonally poised and two which move about. The water itself does little damage, each spray packs the same amount of force as that of a not particularly strong punch, but the spray is continuous and difficult to dodge. The spherical perimeter can be moved slowly to follow the target but cannot leave the casting range. Whilst this jutsu may not cause a lot of harm, its main job is to incapacitate the victim by using the force of the chakra made water jets to push them in multiple directions and stop them from moving as they wish. If the caster is struck by anything that would cause a degree of pain, the jutsu is interrupted, as it must be channeled continuously.
Chakra Cost: 11 [3 per post]

This one is to go in the non-elemntal section, at the very bottom but inside the spoiler, so the B rank quote section is at the bottom.

Code:: [quote="B Rank"][font=georgia][list][b]Name:[/b] Unforgiving Grasp - Hikanben Tsukamu
[b]Rank:[/b] B
[b]Type:[/b] Ninjutsu
[b]Range:[/b] Close [0m-5m]
[b]Element:[/b] N/A
[b]Description:[/b] This jutsu is a close ranged, non-elemental ninjutsu, which requires hand seals to be performed. The user will perform these handseals before using their own hand to direct an accumulation of chakra, in the shape of a fist. This fist is unable to punch or block any solid object, and it moves around as if it were air until it reaches its target destination. Once the chakra is around a solid object, it becomes a physical manifestation, grabbing the victim or an inanimate object in a now solid grasp. When the chakra becomes solid in this form, it is unable to be moved again. The victim will be snared unless they can interrupt the user whilst he is casting this jutsu. The user will be able to cast more jutsu whilst this one is still active, but if he was to receive a reasonable amount of pain from an attack launched at him, the jutsu would dissipate. Unless the jutsu catches the victim with their hands at their side, the caught person will still be able to perform jutsus of their own, but their legs and body will be ensnared. When solidifying, the fist forms a cuboid shape. The fist is visible at all times of its casting, although is rather transparent before it solidifies and ensnares. It cannot extend more than 5 metres. The jutsu does no damage, its sole purpose is to root and ensnare the victim. The snare lasts for a maximum of 2 posts (from the user) after casting if it is not broken and has its chakra upkeep sustained.
[b]Chakra Cost:[/b] 13 [3 per post][/list][/font][/quote]

Because I already have B rank Suiton ninjutsu, this one won't need the quote/font/list tags put anywhere, so just lump it inside the already placed tags. Pls and thank you xoxox

Code:: [b]Name:[/b] Jet Spray - Funsha Shibuku
[b]Rank:[/b] B
[b]Type:[/b] Ninjutsu
[b]Range:[/b] Close [0m-5m] Medium [5m-10m]
[b]Element:[/b] [color=#2554c7]Suiton [Water Release][/color]
[b]Description:[/b] This jutsu creates a dozen spraying jets of water in different areas in a spherical perimeter around the target. One from directly above and below the target, four from the major compass points in respect to the target's position, four diagonally poised and two which move about. The water itself does little damage, each spray packs the same amount of force as that of a not particularly strong punch, but the spray is continuous and difficult to dodge. The spherical perimeter can be moved slowly to follow the target but cannot leave the casting range. Whilst this jutsu may not cause a lot of harm, its main job is to incapacitate the victim by using the force of the chakra made water jets to push them in multiple directions and stop them from moving as they wish. If the caster is struck by anything that would cause a degree of pain, the jutsu is interrupted, as it must be channeled continuously.
[b]Chakra Cost:[/b] 11 [3 per post]

Age : 31 Posts : 1490

Unforgiving Grasp - Hikanben Tsukamu:
I would prefer if you drop the time in which the target is bound to one post.
If the user is able to direct the flow of chakra, I would prefer if they are forced to remain stationary.
As per a weaknesses, I would prefer that it be broken by the B-rank strength SC, similar to how the Nara Techniques can be broken. Additionally there needs to be listed ways in which the chakra can be dispersed by the opponent, be it disrupted by normal techniques, weaponry or wind techniques.
Increase the CP cost to 4 CP per post.

Jet Spray - Funsha Shibuku:
How does the water manage to get under your opponent without first immobilizing them and raising them from the ground ? Unless of course the water comes out of the ground.
Remove either the vertical jets of water or the diagonal ones.
Increase the CP per post cost to 4 CP per post.
Given the nature of this technique it would be preferable that the range be reduced to Close [0m-5m].[

Age : 31 Posts : 1900

Archived due to lack of activity.