| | | Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] |  |
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Revolution
Posts : 11
![Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Vide](https://2img.net/i/fa/vide.gif) |  Subject: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Tue 30 Sep 2014, 8:29 pm | |
| - Spoiler:
Yoruma, TakeshiTHE INFO.
Name:Yoruma, Takeshi
Nickname: Lone Wolf
Age: 13
Gender: Male
Appearance:- Spoiler:
Takeshi is a well-groomed and well-mannered individual; made apparent by the way he dresses and walks in public. As with most members of the Yoruma clan, Takeshi stands at 5'7. His body is not big but trimmed and lean. The constant training with his fighting style has allowed the young shinobi to stay in great shape. The iris in his eyes is yellow which matches the same color as many different breeds of wolf. This is how he got half of his nickname. The sclera that surrounds his iris is black, compared to the typical person this is different from the usual white. His hair has a deep brown color and is spiky. Takeshi usually lets his hair stay this way unless needed otherwise. A situation that would cause the ninja to comb his hair would be a funeral or wedding. Even then, he would fight tooth and nail to leave it just as it is. He also has two long bangs that usually set over his eyes. If needed Takeshi will use his hand to brush them away, but with all the moving around on the battlefield it rarely becomes a problem. His skin is rather fair, whenever he spends time outside he prefers to stay in the shade.
- Spoiler:
The first piece of his outfit is a tight red and black under shirt. Takeshi prefers to keep this part of his outfit tight, mostly to show off his well earned body. In addition, if he finds himself in a jam it is better than to have than a loose fitting shirt for his enemy to grab. Takeshi usually wears a mask that covers the bottom half of his face. This is to help hide his identity. The character that is on the left of his chest means “hope” This is to signify how he feels about any situation. He wear a metal crescent headpiece to keep a long black scarf from falling off his person. The way Takeshi wears the scarf allows him to wears it like a hood. With both the mask and hood, Takeshi tries not to let anyone see his face or at least make it difficult. His arms are covered by metal bracers and his fingerless gloves. Connected to both bracers are hidden blades. On his back, he typically carries two ninjato. The blades usually cross as an x. His pants are loose and baggy to allow maximum leg movement. This is important for him because he prefers to move around rather staying in one spot. Along his pants are small pouches and pockets in which Takeshi stores his kunai and various other shinobi gear.
Forehead Protector: The only time that Takeshi wears his headband would be when he is on a mission or outside his village. He wears it on his forehead.
Personality:This genin is often called, as a joke, a lone wolf. Takeshi does not spend time around others his age often. More or less, he prefers to be by himself. It is not as if he hates other kids his age or thinks of himself as a better shinobi. Takeshi spent much of his childhood away from the other kids and his father pulled him from the ninja academy roughly half way through the course to train him himself. Takeshi’s father was a proud member of the Yoruma clan. His ideals were pushed onto Takeshi. If it had not been for his mother then maybe Takeshi would have been just like his father. An angry old man who appeared not to give two craps about anything other than his clan. Takeshi’s mother was the opposite. She cared deeply for both her son and her husband. Takeshi as a kid did not see how someone so caring could fall for someone that seemed not to return the affection. Takeshi took after his mother for most of his personality traits. He is hard to get to know, living with his father has made the boy very distant from the world. However, he is loyal to a fault when he has made a friend.
The concept of being judged whether or not one wears the ninja headband of their respected village has always bothered Takeshi. Before he was a genin, he was judge as too weak by the current graduating class. When he achieved genin rank then he was looked down upon by higher-ranking shinobi. It seemed that no matter how strong one was there would always be someone stronger. This would bother until the night of his thirteenth birthday when his father was slain. The culprit was arrested, charged, and found guilty. Justice had been done but the event had shaken the poor boy up. This would cause him to become even more reserved as he dealt with his first real death. His father died to protect his family, not because it benefited the clan per say but because he loved both his wife and his son. With this realization, Takeshi found new respect for his father. Takeshi tends to take things a little too seriously and has a hard time with recognizing sarcasm. This in itself has led to multiple awkward situations.
Takeshi likes to see people stand up for what they believe in, even if the genin himself does not believe in that cause. In battle, Takeshi tries to keep his movements and expression hidden. He likes to talk about weapons and tactics. He prefers to work alone feeling that others may be too loud or slow. He does understand however that some obstacles may require muscle. Takeshi dislikes people who run their mouths. He cannot stand people who hurt others for no reason. His clan has been known as ruthless assassins. The common perception of the fact that Takeshi must be a heartless killer who loves torture has made him decide to keep his clan name a secret.
Clan:Yoruma Clan
Nindō:"If there's a will, there's a way."
THE NINJA.
Origin:Lightning Country
Affiliation:Kumogakure
Rank:Genin
Specialities:Ninjutsu, Weaponry(Main-Close, Sub-Med.)
Elemental Affinities:Raiton, Katon
Combat Style:Takeshi prefers to stay in the shadows and wait for his moment to strike. He tries to gather all possible information before making a battle plan. For the most part he chooses to duel wield ninjatos. He carries a bowie knife on his person at all times. When duel wielding he will resort to his clans fighting style of swift and fluid movements. Although most of his clan uses daggers, Takeshi prefers when in open combat to use his ninjato. However, his clan’s training has not been for nothing. Takeshi also wears two hidden blades that attach to his metal bracers. If he has the upper hand in terms of stealth and is able to get in a surprise attack then the genin will use these as oppose to the ninjatos. He uses his Raiton jutsu to amplify his deadliness in melee. Katon is considered a good offensive element so Takeshi chooses this to use as a medium-ranged offensive until he got close. If he is looking for a target then his battle plan is to maximize the first strike as much as he can to gain the advantage for any follow up combat. He is limited in long-range conflicts, if the moment came where the genin would become involved in range conflict he would try to use his stealth kills to disappear, giving him time to reevaluate the battle. Takeshi rarely uses his pair of tomahawks. If there is space between both him and his enemy, Takeshi might throw them in order to buy time. For melee purposes he would rather rely on his ninjato or hidden blades.
Special Characteristics:
Physical Based- Spoiler:
Chakra Based- Spoiler:
Mental Based- Spoiler:
Skill Based- Spoiler:
Name: Advanced Stealth
Rank: C
Type: Skill Based
Physical Requirements: N/A
Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic.
Restriction: -
Description: A skill gained by ninja who have begun to specialize in the art of stealth. The ninja becomes very light and quick on their feet. Their movements no longer create sound and they now gain a natural skill for hiding and camouflage.
Social Based- Spoiler:
Name: High IQ
Rank: C
Type: Social Based
Prerequisites: -
Training: A 600 word training is required to gain this special characteristic.
Restrictions: -
Description: The ninja innately possesses a high IQ which gives them a great deal of practical and analytically prowess. Whilst some might confuse a High IQ with a wealth of knowledge, that is not the case. More often than not possessing a High IQ equates more so to your ability to analyze and work your way through or around problems. To some degree many Shinobi who possess this Special Characteristic can be viewed as quick learners or even prodigies in their chosen areas of study. Like the obvious benefits of being very smart, the ninja may be well regarded for their great mathematical and thinking abilities.
THE BACKGROUND.
History:- Spoiler:
Pre-Birth
Takeshi was born from a member of the Yoruma Clan. This clan was known for their ruthless tactics and assassin training. His father was a well-respected member of the clan but decided to marry a woman outside of the country. She was from the Land of Bears country, although this caused great heat with his father but eventually it had blown over. Takeshi’s father stood exactly at 5’11 while his mother stood at 5’10. However, the males from his mother’s own clan would even out around 6’3. Determining Takeshi’s height would be almost impossible but doctors have predicted that he would be roughly 6’2 by his 18th birthday. When he was born, an anomaly occurred. His eyes were black and yellow. At the time doctors believed that this was nothing more then a DNA defect.
Childhood Arc
The earliest memory Takeshi can remember is that of his father. The man was a bit of a drunk but even at this age, Takeshi knew there were worse alcoholics. While his father rarely hit him, it was a very abusive relationship. He spent quite a bit of his early childhood hiding from his father. The stares and words hit Takeshi worse than any hit he could have done. While most of the clan trained in the art of assassination, Takeshi loved to read. Stories of white knights slaying evil masterminds, his father would have none of that. One night he crept into Takeshi’s room and threw him out of the open first story window. He yelled at the boy not to come until he has killed something, he threw a bowie to the young man to use. Takeshi as young kid of eight years old did not know how to kill anything. Therefore, he waited until morning when his mother opened the door to let the boy in. Her husband who slapped her immediately yelled at her. Takeshi witnessed this and as if instinct took over, he grabbed the knife his father gave him and stabbed that man in the leg. After this, his father never talked to him.
Academy
When the time came for the boy to begin training at the academy, he attended to learn the basics of ninjutsu. It was at this time he learned his affinity with Raiton and Katon as well as his interest in weaponry. Life for the next year and a half seemed perfect. His father no longer abused him and his mother. However, his mother became sicker with each passing day. She suffered from a muscle deterioration disease that was rare in the Fire Country but common in the Land of Bears. This disease was not contagious but hereditary. There was a chance that one day Takeshi would suffer from it. His mother however would not tell him this. Why ruin the childhood of your son? She left her son in the dark.
One fateful night there was a sound of breaking glass that awoke Takeshi. This sound was followed by his father yelling and loud thumbing noises. Takeshi left his room to see two men fighting his dad. The boy froze in place. This seemed too real for him to handle. A moment of still movement then a flash of light temporarily blinded Takeshi. One of the men lay on the ground unmoving while now his father and the other man fought. Takeshi knew he had to help so without further hesitation he rushed the man with a knife. The man looked at the boy. His glance made Takeshi freeze in place as his hands began to move. The boy was young but he knew what hand signs were. He felt as if he could not move but his father could. The man jumped in the way as a flash of fire erupted from the burglar’s mouth. Takeshi sat there and watched, as his father burned alive. The man ran to escape but Anbu were there and quickly took the man down. Takeshi fell to his knees. The following morning felt like a blur as a small funeral, after which Takeshi took his test to become a genin. He passed without much effort but the events that happened the night before still scarred his mind.
Genin
Two weeks after the events around his father’s death took place Takeshi and his mom moved out of the house into an apartment. She could not live in a house were her husband was murdered. Her health continued to get worse as Takeshi grew. As a genin, he has tried to make his mother and dead father proud. Being away from the constant peering eyes of his clan and living alone with his mother has lead him to continue having a reserved domineer.
Roleplay Sample:- Spoiler:
Shadows crept through the alleyway as the two men talk to each other. Little did they know that they were not alone in this alley. Only a few meters away was a boy roughly half their age. The men began to talk about plans about mugging people who walked by. They both were armed and quite big. To take them on head on would be crazy. No, he had to use his mind to outsmart them. Sure, tracking them down wasn’t exactly easy but to rush now would lead to a mistake. The alley was full of trash and discarded items that might come in handy. Takeshi moved his hand around on the ground in order to search for something to use. He found an old piece of wood; it had looked like it was the broken end to a broom or a mop. No matter, his plan was starting to come together. Takeshi tossed the piece of wood on the other end of the alley. Both the heads of the men snapped back. Takeshi could not help but smile. One man was even brave enough to begin walking towards the other end. Takeshi now had the two men separated. He prepped two shuriken with smoke pellets inside the center and prepared his plan.
After a few minutes, the other man began to walk back. Takeshi began to put his plan into motion. He under handed the first shuriken, his aim was a little off but it had hit near the foot of the man who had been walking. He was startled by the sound of steel on brick. He looked to his friend and began to yell at him. Of course, the other man was upset and began walking with anger towards the other man. At this time, the smoke pellet went off as the first man was engulfed in the smoke. Takeshi threw the other one right at the second man. In the dark it was hard to make out exactly where the man was, what little there was came from a lamp on the other side of the street. However, despite the lack of light it seemed that Takeshi had hit his target. The man yelp in pain then the smoke pellet went off. Without a moment’s hesitation Takeshi rushed the man who had the leg injury. With his swift movements and element of surprise, he took the man down and quickly sunk back into the shadows. Now there was just one target and this genin knew of a few ways to mess with him.
FACE CLAIM.
Character Claim:Hirayama Maikeru
Source:Deviant Art
Image URL:Link
Last edited by Revolution on Fri 03 Oct 2014, 2:33 am; edited 4 times in total |
|  | | Revolution
Posts : 11
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Thu 02 Oct 2014, 10:52 am | |
| THE ARSENAL. Weapons- Spoiler:
Name: Retractable Wrist Blade
Rank: C
Type: Close Range - Gauntlet
Quantity: 2
Description: As its name implies, the user equips these retractable wrist blades so that the attach to their forearm without risking exposure. These blades can spring forth when needed to surprise any opponent fought in hand to hand combat.
Name: Ninjato
Rank: D
Type: Close Range - Short Blade
Quantity: 2
Description: Short and straight, this blade takes a similar form of a katana, but without the curvature in the blade. With the blade measuring no more than one and a half feet, and a square guard on top, this weapon has been popularized by many ninja, especially the ANBU, hence the name
Name: Bowie Knife
Rank: D
Type: Close Range - Short Blade
Quantity: 1
Description: A long knife, at least six inches long, with a clip point at the top of the blade which brings the tip lower than the spine for better control. Where the guard and sharp edge of the blade meet, a small curvature inward towards the metal makes the end thinner than the top. The handle is large enough to cradle a single grip perfectly.
Name: Tomahawk
Rank: D
Type: Medium Range - Hatchet
Quantity: 2
Description: The tomahawk is a relatively small axe. Its blade is crafted out of lightweight stone. The tomahawk due to its size is able to be wielded with great ease and can be stored quickly. This weapon is versatile in the fact that can be fashioned as a ranged throwing weapon, or for quick close-quarter strikes.
Kits- Spoiler:
Name: Genin Kit
Rank: C
Quantity: 1
Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
Academy Ninjutsu- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique
Rank: E
Type: Genjutsu
Range: N/A
Medium: Optical
Element: N/A
Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others.
Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures.
Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: 10 meters
Element: N/A
Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread.
Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand.
Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu.
Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor.
Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed.
Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: NA
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Clan Techinques- Spoiler:
Name: Yugana Shi no Hitosashi (Dance Of The Graceful Death)
Rank: C
Type: Weaponry
Range: Close
Element: N/A
Description: The user starts using his/her weapon in a free-flow system of movements, making no stops for rest. The movements are of a spinning fashion, utilising dance-like acrobacy, such as flips, jumps, rolls to inflict highly damaging cuts. The longer the jutsu continues, the more momentum the weapons gain, cutting stronger and faster. The higher rank the technique, the more damage the cuts inflict with C rank causing bleeding, to A rank possible dismemberment.
Chakra Cost: C ( 4 CP per post), B ( 5 CP per post), A (6 CP per post)
Name: Yoru no Hitosashi (Dance of the Night)
Rank: C-A (C)
Type: Weaponry
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: The technique begins with the user slashing repeatedly at the opponent with their weapon. Rather than focus on a single strike, the movement of the weapon and the user is fluid; the user advances towards their target, lashing out repeatedly and unceasingly, as if in some intricate dance. With each consecutive slash the user and his weapon gain momentum and consequently, this causes the power of the slashes to increase. Once the user finds an opening, a finishing thrust will be performed to end the dance and accumulate all that momentum and power into a single attack. There is a substantial increase in the strength and speed of the slash, as the Rank of this Jutsu increases. At A Rank, elemental chakra can be conducted through the weapon to increase the damage dealt. The speed and strength of the Jutsu increases with each post.
Chakra Cost: 4 + 1 CP per post (C Rank); 6 + 2 CP per post (B Rank); 10 + 3 CP per post (A Rank)
Name: Ikinari Sentou (Sucker Punch)
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close to Mid (0 to 0,5 metres)
Element: N/A
Description: After using a smoke bomb, the user's clone charges out of the smoke, with intention of being struck down, while the opponent is distracted, the user sneaks up behind and punches a punch with a small amount of lightning chakra that numbs the opponent for one post, making it harder for him/her to move and dodge. The punch itself is only slightly stronger then a normal punch.
Chakra Cost: 5 CP
Raiton Ninjutsu- Spoiler:
Name: Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder
Rank: C-A (c)
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Raiton (Lightning)
Description: This technique allows the user to create a wave of electricity from their hands. The user can vary its power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock.
Chakra Cost: C (5), B (10), A (20)
Name: Shōgeki - Tekina Shinjitsu - Shocking Truth
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0 - 3m)
Element: Raiton
Description: Shōgeki - Tekina Shinjitsu is a ninjutsu technique utilizing the lightning element. After having their victim coated with water, the Kumogakure shinobi will use a torture method where they draw lightning into their hand and then shock their victim with said lightning, it's commonly used to gain information out of the victim, thus the name 'Shocking Truth'. When unaided with water, this lightning will simply cause an electric shock, causing a tingling sensation. Yet when water is present, it performs the equivalent of a C - Rank lightning attack. The technique itself is simply to have lightning shoot out of ones hand, nothing more and nothing less. The lightning reaches a maximum of three metres before the chakra supply is cut off.
Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Kumogakure no Jutsu - Hidden Cloud Technique
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m)
Element: -
Description: Kumogakure no Jutsu is a ninjutsu technique utilizing no element. A technique that imitates that of the Kirigakure no Jutsu, once the user has performed the required handseals they will be able to call upon a thick and heavy cloud that will appear almost out of nowhere. The cloud will be able to cover a ten metre radius around the user and only the user is able to sense where others lurk within the cloud. Those with doujutsu or chakra sensing techniques are also able to see through this thick cloud but without any aid, then you'll be blind within the cloud. If a C - Rank or above fuuton technique is activated, then the cloud will be blown away.
Chakra Cost: 4
Katon Ninjutsu- Spoiler:
Name: Endan - Fireball
Rank: D-A (C)
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m – 10m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: Katon • Endan is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. After doing the necessary hand seals, the ninja draws chakra to their lungs before swiftly exhaling it, allowing them to blow a jet of fire from their mouth. Depending on the rank at which it is performed, Endan ranges in size and heat. Starting at a moderate level of heat and a reach of up to 3m, at D rank, and increasing in temperature to an intense heat and up to a 10m reach, when performed at A rank.
Chakra Cost: D: 4 (1 per post), C: 5 (2 per post), B: 12 (3 per post), A: 23 (5 per post)
Name: Goukakyuu no Jutsu - Great Fireball Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: Katon • Goukakyuu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals, draws chakra from their mouth into their chest and them immediately exhales it. They then blow a stream of fire which erupts into a large sphere of flames. To better manage the flames the ninja will bring their hand to their mouth to control it.
Chakra Cost: 5 (2 per post)
Name: Housenka no Jutsu - Mythical Fire Phoenix Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: Katon • Housenka no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals and then emits a series of small fire balls. The ninja can also hurl a projectile which is covered in these same flames. To the opponent the attack appears to be only the balls of flame, they do not see the hidden threat within the flames. Meaning that even if the flames are put out, the projectiles still converge on the target. The flames can be used to cover different projectiles like shuriken or kunai.
Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Ryuuka no Jutsu - Dragon Fire Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: The user breathes fire along a cord or any other type of long object, which rushes forward in straight line catching the enemy on fire. The flames are meant to target, and assault the enemy's upper body just like a projectile weapon.
Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Kasumi Enbu no Jutsu - Mist Waltz Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: After performing the necessary hand seals, the user is able to create and blow a flammable gas from their lungs. Once it comes in contact with fire or sparks, the gas ignites into a large fireball.
Chakra Cost: 8
Weaponry- Spoiler:
Name: Kage Shuriken no Jutsu - Shadow Shuriken Technique
Rank: D
Type: Weaponry
Range: Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
Element: N/A
Description: It's an extremely simple technique where two shuriken, like the Fūma Shuriken, are piled one onto another and thrown simultaneously. However, depending on the way it's used, it can prove its absolute efficiency. The trick is to somehow draw the enemy's attention towards the upper shuriken. Then, to deal with the path of the lower shuriken. If the enemy notices both shuriken, the technique ends up losing all of its efficiency.
Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Soto Nise - Fake Out
Rank: D
Type: Weaponry
Range: Close (0-5M)
Element: N/A
Description: The user will draw their opponent's attention to their blade or blade-wielding handing, telegraphing an eminent attack with it. The user will begin to spin, as if building up momentum for the attack, before surging chakra through their feet to stick to the ground to arrest their momentum before swinging around to strike from the other direction. Alternatively, the user can simply release the original blade, letting it fly at the opponent, while quickly drawing forth another weapon and attacking with that.
Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Ayatsuito no Jutsu - String Reeling Technique
Rank: D
Type: Weaponry
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: Ayatsuito no Jutsu is a technique utilizing wire. This string can be used in rappeling, or as a method to tie down and restrict the movement of an opponent. The properties of the wire also allows the user to guide fire down it with any number of Katon Jutsu.
Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Raitoningu no Kengen - Lightning Manifestation
Rank: C
Type: Weaponry
Range: Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m), Far (10m+)
Element: Raiton
Description: Raitoningu no Kengen is a weaponry technique utilizing the lightning element. Using their lightning affinity, the Kumogakure shinobi is able to enhance any weapon they possess and coat it with lightning chakra to give it a more powerful hit. The lightning will be able to numb the area where the weapon strikes and also cause minor burns. Any weapon can be enhanced by this attack, Kunai, Shuriken, Blades or even Arrows. The technique can only be used on weapons though, once the weapon has struck something the lightning will fade away.
Chakra Cost: 6
Misc
- Spoiler:
Name: Medium Scroll
Rank: C
Type: Supplementary
Quantity: -
Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre.
Storage:
Last edited by Revolution on Fri 03 Oct 2014, 1:19 am; edited 1 time in total |
| | | | MsMoney
Age : 37
Posts : 2201
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Fri 03 Oct 2014, 12:23 am | |
| Alright so, your app is fine but I noticed quite a bit of grammar mistakes and such. I'd like to ask you in the future to proofread your posts to make sure they are understandable and pleasant to be read.
- Appearance:
with his fighting style as led the young - *has led the young.. ?
The iris in his eyes is yellow which match the same color as many different breeds of wolf. - *matches the same color as many different breeds of wolves.
brown color and spiky. - *is spiky?
Takeshi will take his hand to brush them away, - *use his hand ...
His skin is rater fair, even though his outside he does not get any sun because he prefers to stay in the shade. - *rather, - I find the underlined part rather confusing, did you mean to say *he's there?
In addition, if he finds himself jam it is better than to have then a loose fitting shirt for his enemy to grab. - *in a jam, - "it is better to have than a loose fitting shirt...."
The character that his on - *is
allows him to wears it like a hood. - *wear
His arms are covers by - *covered
Connect to both bracers are hidden blades. - *Connected
prefers to move around rather stay in one spot. - *rather than staying in one spot..
Takeshi also wears shin guards, which help the lower part of his legs from being too loose. - does it help the lower part of the pants? Because I don't see how his legs themselves are loose.
Forehead protector: I feel a bit iffy about your guy not wearing his headband. But well, if he at least wears it on missions and such then I can live with it. Can't guarantee that the next mod can also live with it though.
- Personality:
spent much of his child hood away - *childhood
His ideals were push onto Takeshi - *pushed
The concept of being judge - *judged
always bother Takeshi - *bothered
he was judge as to weak - *he was judged as too weak
he was look down - *looked
continue to bother until - bother him until
and has a hard to recognize sarcasm. - and has a hard time with recognizing sarcasm
others maybe too - *may be
obstacles maybe require muscle. - *may
Weaponry style: Please note which range is the dominant one.
- Combat Style:
The combat style is too short by only 50 words or so. It needs to be 250 words or more.
swift and fluid movement. - *movements
to get a surprise attack - to get in a surprise attack
He uses to use his Raiton jutsu - this sentence made little sense to me.
- History:
If you mention in here that the doctors believe his peculiar eyes are because of a DNA defect or something of the likes, then I'd be way more willing to allow this colour. A bit more of an explanation is always needed when it comes to such peculiar things, when they cannot be explained simply with a clan.
Child Hood - *Childhood
were worst alcoholics - *worse
The constant compression to other clan members his age made the boy very reclusive. - this sentence made little sense to me.
his would have none of that. - his father ?
IT was at this time - *It
Why ruin the childhood on your son? - *of your son
One fateful there was a sound - fateful night? evening?
and large thumbing noises. - *loud thumping noises
This seemed two real for him - *too
temporally blinded Takeshi. - *temporarily
at his hands began to move - *as
He felt if he could not move but his father could. - he felt as if ?
still scared his mind. - *scarred
She could not live in a house were her mother was murdered. - *husband?
to get worse and Takeshi grew. - *as Takeshi grew
Addition: Are you sure you don't want to have any scrolls? |
| | | | Revolution
Posts : 11
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Fri 03 Oct 2014, 1:20 am | |
| | Everything has been fixed and I have added a scroll. |
| | | | MsMoney
Age : 37
Posts : 2201
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Fri 03 Oct 2014, 2:23 am | |
| | You forgot to add a bit more to the combat style. I know it's not much you need to add to reach the 250 words, but I can't allow you to have less than that so things are fair between all. |
| | | | Revolution
Posts : 11
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Fri 03 Oct 2014, 2:34 am | |
| | Sorry about that. Fixed. |
| | | | MsMoney
Age : 37
Posts : 2201
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Fri 03 Oct 2014, 3:06 am | |
| Thank you, I appreciate your willingness to work with me. 
1/2 approved. |
| | | | Anna
Age : 31
Posts : 1900
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Fri 03 Oct 2014, 7:23 pm | |
| 2/2 Approved
Don't forget to make your account here. |
| | | | Anna
Age : 31
Posts : 1900
| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] Sun 09 Nov 2014, 5:29 am | |
| Archived due to failure to respond to activity check. Please message staff to have your character unarchived. |
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| | Subject: Re: Yoruma, Takeshi [Kumogakure Genin] | |
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