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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin]

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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySun 12 Dec 2010, 4:55 am

Basic Information:

Name:
Aidan Kasui
Secondary Title:
Ai
Age:
15
Gender:
Male
Physical Appearance:
Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kyubis14
Spoiler:


Personality:
Spoiler:

Catch Phrase:
None really
Clan:
http://www.ultimateshinobi.com/t540-kasui-clan
Rank Information:

Rank:
Genin
Village Affiliation:
Kumogakure

Special Information:

Character Speciality:
Main: Ninjutsu
Sub:
Elemental Affinity:
Main: Raiton
Sub: Doton
Special Characteristics:


Eidetic memory
Aidan has a advanced memory in several fields. Aidan can easily remember and then recall on images, sounds, and or objects in memory. Aidan could speed through a long scroll and when he is done recite the whole scroll perfectly in one try, just like he could remember the sound of a animal or words of a shinobi, also if he saw a weapon in battle he could then describe the weapon in detail to someone else.

Chakra Manipulation
Because of his clan's larger chakra pool, Aidan can pull off more techniques then other people his rank. Not only does he have a larger chakra pool but he has excellent chakra, and shape control. These special characteristics of his easily allow him to create techniques and learn new techniques quicker then the average shinobi would.


Skill Information:

Jutsu Template:
Academy Jutsus
Spoiler:


Raiton Release
Spoiler:

Doton Release
Spoiler:




Weapon Template:


Item Template:



Background Information

History:
Aidan Kasui was born to his warm and caring parents Zao Kasui and Yumi Kasui. The two were excellent shinobi in their time. He was born into the Kasui clan of Kumogakure no Sato. He had to live in the hospital for a little while longer than the average baby. The Average weight time for a single birth is about two days but Aidan had to stay in the hospital for four days. The reason was Aidan wasn’t breathing right the first day but they weren’t sure if he was going to be able to go home the next day which is when he was supposed to. Aidan ended up still having breathing problems the next day which worried his parents. It was both of theirs first baby but they weren’t even married yet. Aidan’s father was more worried, he had always wanted a great ninja of a son and he was worried he would die. The two parents had recently been fighting and the next day Aidan’s father ran away. Aidan’s mother cried the whole next day and that made Aidan cry. He already loved his mother and felt her pain. Aidan went home the next day after they put enough air into his lungs and he could breathe properly.

Aidan learned to survive without a father figure; he also learned to appreciate what he had. Aidan grew up wanting to be a ninja and be the best ninja he could be. Aidan’s mother bought him dull kunais so he could practice with them before he could join the academy. Aidan learned to aim weapons accordingly so that he wouldn’t make a mistake in battle at age seven. Aidan’s mother was a former Jounin but retired after her husband left her. Yumi started to teach Aidan a few academy jutsus but he never could perform them right.

Aidan was an excellent student at the Ninja Academy. He obeyed all the rules to make sure he wouldn’t get in trouble and get expelled. Fortunately Aidan didn’t get in any trouble at home and or at school. When the students started to train their basic ninja abilities such as Substitute Jutsu Aidan already had a basic understanding so he learned them easier. The only jutsu he had a problem with is Clone Jutsu. His clones always ended up perfect in appearance but unable to move which made the technique worthless. Aidan was mad with his disability to perform the jutsu and dropped out of school.

Aidan practiced the jutsus for the next few years so he would be an expert in those jutsus. Aidan later joined the academy after he mastered the technique. Aidan didn’t feel like going the whole semester while he knew he would pass it with ease. Aidan asked the instructors if he could just take the test the first day. They agreed and Aidan passed the test. They handed him his headband and Aidan walked off proud to be a genin that day.


Role-Play Sample:

This is a mininum of how I rp by myself in alone topics
Aidan was in one of the many training fields. Aidan threw a kunai at a tree where Aidan had pulled the bark off so he had a specific target. Aidan ran over to the tree and then pulled it out, and leaped backwards. Aidan dropped the kunai to the ground so he would pick it up later. Aidan pulled out three shuriken and hit three logs. Aidan darted over to the first log, yanked the shuriken out and then did the same process with the other logs. Aidan jogged backwards and then slid into a stance planting his feet beneath the ground. Aidan looked at the shuriken in his hands; Aidan put one of them in his right hand and then put the two others in his left hand.

Aidan slid the shuriken in his weapon holder but he dropped one making a clanging sound when it landed on the kunai that was laid down. That reminded him that he needed to pick the kunai up too. Aidan bent down and picked the weapons up and put them in his weapon holder with the rest of the shuriken. Aidan leaped backwards putting more space in-between the training log and him. Aidan made a tiger seal and then said, ‘Water Release: Bullet! ‘A dense water ball shot out and then gravity made it stronger; when it hit the log it snapped it in half. Aidan slid to the right so he was perfectly aligned with another log. Aidan made the following hand signs to prepare for a Fire Release jutsu, Snake, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, and Tiger. Aidan made a ring with his thumb and index finger and blew out thus creating a orb of fire. The orb of fire hit the log and Aidan watched it burn to ashes. ‘Alright that is pretty much mastering those two techniques, now for the others. Aidan put his hands out facing two other logs, he made a few hand signs and then two gusts of wind go toward the logs in such strength that they are split into two logs, thus having four logs laying on the ground. Aidan took a sidestep and focused on the next log, he made another chain of hand signs and then the ground surrounding the log spiraled in on itself and the ground swallowed the log and buried it underground. Aidan focused energy inside his body, in his lungs and then condensed it into water and shot it out in the form of a dense water ball, the water ball shot at such speed that it completely destroyed the log. ‘ Alright that raps up all of the jutsus that I know! ‘

Then a small messenger dragon came flying by. Aidan immediately knew what this was… a dragon sent from his uncle Ichiro! The dragon dove onto a tree and then dropped two scrolls. The scrolls landed and one dropped and exploded in smoke, but it didn’t explode but it opened automatically after the smoke cleared. That meant to read that one first, Aidan walked over to the scroll and picked it up from the top to begin to reading it. Aidan read aloud, ‘ Dear nephew Aidan, how is it going in Konohagakure. It is going good here in Kumogakure, I just wanted to keep in touch with you. And if you are wondering what this other scroll is, then here is your answer Part 1 of the scroll is telling you how to learn a technique called Rasengan and the second is a summoning contract. Message me back! ‘ Aidan smiled and then thought about his family! Aidan gulped, he had to talk to his father through mediation..

Aidan sat down and closed his eyes, he was a little frightened about meeting his father for the first time. Aidan fell in peace as he heard a woman scream, most likely from being killed or unwanted sex. Aidan fell in peace because of his father being the bijuu of evil and all things frightening pretty much. Everything went black and then Aidan was in front of an extra large jail cell. Aidan felt intimidated by the cell and he felt tons of evil from the cell. ‘ Father it is I Aidan! ‘ Aidan bowed to the cell knowing his father was in there. Aidan looked up and then he saw sixteen crimson snake like eyes looking down on Aidan. ‘ Son it is I Yamata no Orochi. It has been a while, you have grown like your mother. She always grew up fast. So I noticed that you were growing strong in power and I felt that you were with another demon child. Who was it.. ‘ Yamata said with a scowl ‘ It was Keitaro Uchia, son of Kyubbi father. ‘ Aidan said looking down in shame. ‘ A Kyubbi child! He was the only one who defeated me way back then, is he stronger then you son? ‘ Aidan looked back up and said, ‘ Not last time we trained together, he is on my squad but he could have gained another tail to make him equal with me. ‘ Aidan said with another sad look upon his face.

Yamata make a siiss sound like a snake naturally does, ‘Well he will not from now on son. I am transferring some of my power to you to give you more power and another tail. Well stay in touch with me son. Tell me how your training does, I hope to see you again son. Just to let you know, even though I am all that is evil in our world I have a heart and I love you son. ‘With that Aidan opened his eyes and he was back in the shinobi world. Aidan already felt even more powerful. He realized that the second scroll was still laying on the ground. He went over to pick it up and then he rolled the first scroll up and returned to the village. ‘ Well maybe father isn’t as intimidating as I thought. ‘


Last edited by Aidan Hougaku on Mon 20 Dec 2010, 5:14 am; edited 23 times in total
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Vegapunk
Vegapunk

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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptyMon 13 Dec 2010, 10:03 am

From what I see here this isn't a Jounin level application. Though the RP sample is adequite the actual application itself is at least genin level as of now.

- Appearance to short
- Personality to short
- Still have filler text on application
- Next to no jutsu other than academy
- History is very brief
- Clan isn't very well created.

Sorry but denied for Jounin in Kumo. Though you can either try for another village or rank yourself down accordingly.

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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptyMon 13 Dec 2010, 11:49 pm

Haha Alright, I felt lazy so can I try again or I start all over?
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Vegapunk
Vegapunk

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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptyTue 14 Dec 2010, 2:16 am

Sure, you can start over again if you like. But make sure it is your best work from now on! Up & up from here! ^^
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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 3:03 am

Finish Bump
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John
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 4:15 am

EDIT:

Quote :
Name: Lightning Arrow
Rank: D
Element: Raiton
Description: The user channels his/her lightning chakra into a arrow shape that automatically lunges at the enemy in a extreme speed, making a great, fast offesive move and or a great distraction. Multiples arrows can be fired if the users chakra pool permits.

Up this to C rank and remove 'extreme' speed. It's not going to be extremely fast at such a low rank. Also, add in that each time a new arrow is shot, it takes another C rank amount of chakra. Therefore using this technique too many times would drastically drain a Genin's chakra.

Quote :
Name: Spark Tip Finger
Rank: D
Element: Raiton
Description: The user creates sparks around his fingertips and shoots them rapidly at the enemy. The sparks are quite powerful for a D Rank but can easily be showed up also. The sparks can be shot more then once per time it is used, for a regular use it can be shot twice before using the technique again.


What do you mean when you say the sparks are quite powerful? For D rank, it would have to be a really small stun for a second or two, not enough to really damage the opponent, but rather disorient them for a moment.

Quote :
Name: Static Box
Rank: D
Element: Raiton
Description: The user makes a lightning tainted box in his/her hand, it will be thrown and grow bigger in size. The box is like a cage but the metal is lightning and if hit directly could do some fatal damage to the enemy.

Again, too overpowered for a Genin. I'd say this technique would be about B rank, not D. Please remove.
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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 5:24 am

Fixed
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John
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 5:35 am

Quote :
Name: Earth Release: Slab of Crust
Rank: D
Element: Doton
Description: Earth Release: Slab of Crust is a basic defensive Doton release move. The user doesn't need to do any hand seals for this technique, the user just forces his chakra to force a single peice of rock slab shoots up and guards the user, or a teammate.

Make this C-rank.

Quote :
Name: Earth Release: Mud Pit
Rank: D
Element: Doton
Description: The User does a few hand seals and then a large hole forms in the ground making anyone standing on the previous ground fall into the pit. The pit is filled with mud. The technique is usually used to give the user time for an attack or something of that sort.

How wide/deep is the hole exactly?
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Aidan
Aidan

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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 5:39 am

* Fixed

About Five Feet Wide and Ten Feet Deep, I just edited it into it.
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John
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 5:41 am

I'm gonna say make Mud Pit C rank too. & you realize that at ten feet deep, any ninja could probably jump right out of it no problem? lol...
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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 5:48 am

Yea and Fixed
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John
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 5:52 am

Take out 'can do damage' and replace it with, 'can stun an opponent for about two seconds' for Spark Tip Finger.
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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 5:54 am

lol Yea Fixed and I must seem like an newb.
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John
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 6:04 am

Quote :
Name: Spark Tip Finger
Rank: D
Element: Raiton
Description: The user creates sparks around his fingertips and shoots them rapidly at the enemy. The sparks aren't very powerful can stun an opponent for about two seconds. The sparks can be shot more then once per time it is used, for a regular use it can be shot twice before using the technique again.

Remove the bolded part. Edit it so he can only shoot one spark at time. Each spark will take a D rank amount of chakra so this technique isn't overused.
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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 6:08 am

Fixed
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John
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Age : 31
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 6:29 am

You still didn't edit it to say he can only shoot one spark.
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Aidan
Aidan

Posts : 54

Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 6:35 am

Fixed
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John
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Age : 31
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 7:23 am

Not from what I can see...? It's exactly the same as before.
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Aidan
Aidan

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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 3:41 pm

Quote :
Name: Spark Tip Finger
Rank: D
Element: Raiton
Description: The user creates sparks around his fingertips and shoots the sparks at the enemy once. The sparks aren't very powerful can stun an opponent for about two seconds.

Thats what I see.
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John
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptySat 18 Dec 2010, 8:49 pm

Um... exactly. It still says 'the user creates sparks around his fingertips and shoots the sparks at the enemy once' I see that you added in 'once' but you still have 'sparks' which is plural. Change this to 'the user creates a spark around his fingertips and shoots the spark at the enemy. This spark isn't very powerful, but can stun an opponent for about one or two seconds'.
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Aidan
Aidan

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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptyMon 20 Dec 2010, 5:15 am

Oh sorry my thought was that one spark wouldn't be strong enough but I fixed it.
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John
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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptyMon 20 Dec 2010, 5:25 am

I suppose I find this satisfactory now.
Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] USApprovedJohn

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Vegapunk
Vegapunk

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Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] EmptyWed 19 Jan 2011, 4:13 am

archived due to inactivity.
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PostSubject: Re: Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Kasui, Aidan [Kumo Genin] Empty

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