Surogawa Clan Revised (complete)

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

Clan Name: Surogawa Clan
Clan Location: Kirigakure
Clan Traits:
Suiton and Doton elements ONLY

This clan is an animal hybrid clan that has crossed humanity with crocodiles. They are undisputed masters of the swampy marshes outside of Kirigakure, and deadly ninja in their own right. Being possessed of Crocodile traits, they do not appear as human. Though they walk on two legs, all members of this bloodline have thick and scaley skin, claws, and fangs. Their heads are large and extended, possesing a long and dangerous mouth of sharp fangs. Their backs are covered in thick and ridged scales that can resist great attacks, and extend down into their long tails. A surogawa's tail is as long as the clan member is tall, and powerful in it's own right. The clan is possessed of thick, honeycombed bones that can recieve incredible abuse before breaking, and their skulls are twice as thick as a humans. They have thick, knotty muscles, and thinner, but still tough, scales covering the whole of their bodies. The tail can be used for sweeping horizonal attacks, and is capable of dealing massive damage, however they are a little slow on land. Being naturaly at home in the water, this clan moves with an obvious lack of grace on land.

A Surogawa recieves no innate bonus to strength, though it's toughness is unheard of. The thick scales of the clan allow them to endure great blows with little effect, just as if they were wearing thick armor. It takes a weapon or jutsu attack at least one rank higher than the Surogawa to do any damage at all to it's back side. Attacks of any other rank will have their effective damage reduced to just one quarter of their normal power. That's a 50% reduction in power to anything striking the thick scales on the Surogawa's back. This, combined with their powerful tail, makes getting behind a Surogawa and extremely bad idea, and places their vulnerable side in front of them. The thicker scales all around them also provides them with an all around damage bonus that helps give this clan it's notable toughness. Attacks from weapons, and ninjutsu that deal purely phycial damage, of lesser rank than the Surogawa has it's effectivness reduced by 1/4th. This bonus applies whether or not the Surogawa member is wearing armor or not.

While on land a Surogawa is able to move in all respects as a normal human does, however will never be able to recieve a bonus to their speed. Their bodies are not made for sprinting, nor for spinning around quickly. Their impressive jaws are a threatening weapon if a Surogawa is able to get close enough to use it, but difficult to manage while fighting. To bite an opponent the Surogawa must first succeed in grappling attempt. If their opponent is unable to get away, the Surogawa can deliver an almost certainly fatal blow, and crush their victim in their impressively strong jaws. Damage dealt when biting is doubled, and will break any normal bones bitten down on. While they bite with an impressive amount of pressure, a Surogawa's mouth can be held closed with only a pair of fingers. The one way effectivness of their muscles gives them a very weak force of around five pounds to opening their dangerous jaws.

While they are in water, the danger of this clan increases imensly. It's been said by many that the only way to defeat a Surogawa while it's in the water, is to get it out of the water. While their strength and defenses do not increase, their powerful tail becomes a strong propeller for motion. They can move through the water faster than most ninja can run. They recieve a 50% bonus to their speed, and can move in any direction. Their gaping maw becomes much more of a danger and they can assault with their mouth with great ease than on land. They are capable of holding their breath almost indefinatly, and can easily drown most any other opponent. They are known for their great silence when under water, and specialize in ambush tactics near shore lines. At any rank, a Surogawa may remain submerged for up to ten hours at a time, and even go so far as to sleep beneath the surface.

While underwater a Surogawa's sense of smell is able to locate any source of blood for up to 50meters around them. They can identify what sort of blood it is based on it's taste, and in which direction it lies by it's smell. Their eyes are covered with a thin membrane underwater which keeps their vision perfectly clear. They can see through anything but complete darkness, and brackish water is no obsticle. The Surogawa clan has this swamp sight out to a range of 15 meters, or 45 feet, and can move with perfect vision and speed through even the dirtiest swamp water.

Lungs The Surogawa clan lungs are in incedible shape for shinobi. Naturally the Surogawa can hold their breath for longer period of times.(AS: 3 Post) (genin: 5 post) (chunnin: 7 post) (jonin: 10 post) (S-Ranked: 12 post). These lungs also keeps the surogawa clan from tiring out as fast.

D-Ranked= 3
C-Ranked= 5
B-Ranked= 7
A-Ranked= 10
S-Ranked= 12

Natural Swimmers While they are in water, the danger of this clan increases imensly. It's been said by many that the only way to defeat a Surogawa while it's in the water, is to get it out of the water. While their strength and defenses do not increase, their powerful tail becomes a strong propeller for motion. They can move through the water faster than most ninja can run. They recieve a 50% bonus to their speed, and can move in any direction. Their gaping maw becomes much more of a danger and they can assault with their mouth with great ease than on land. They are capable of holding their breath almost indefinatly, and can easily drown most any other opponent. They are known for their great silence when under water, and specialize in ambush tactics near shore lines. At any rank, a Surogawa may remain submerged for up to ten hours at a time, and even go so far as to sleep beneath the surface.

Scaly Skin The thick scales of the clan allow them to endure great blows with little effect, just as if they were wearing thick armor. It takes a weapon or jutsu attack at least one rank higher than the Surogawa to do any damage at all to it's back side. Attacks of any other rank will have their effective damage reduced to just one quarter of their normal power. That's a 50% reduction in power to anything striking the thick scales on the Surogawa's back.

Sharp Teeth Much like their kind the Surogawa have extreemly sharp teeth. Those fierce teeth however, are not meant for chewing. They are meant for breaking up trees and rocks, or for crushing bones, even hooves and horns, so that they will fit down the Surogawa's throat. The Surogawa 62 teeth are all exactly 1 inch long and are most durable upon man. These teeth do however fall out with a good strike to the mouth. Over short periods of time they tend to grow back.(A few days or so)

Jaws Their impressive jaws are a threatening weapon if a Surogawa is able to get close enough to use it, but difficult to manage while fighting. To bite an opponent the Surogawa must first succeed in grappling attempt. If their opponent is unable to get away, the Surogawa can deliver an almost certainly fatal blow, and crush their victim in their impressively strong jaws. Damage dealt when biting is doubled, and will break any normal bones bitten down on. While they bite with an impressive amount of pressure, a Surogawa's mouth can be held closed with only a pair of fingers. The one way effectivness of their muscles gives them a very weak force of around five pounds to opening their dangerous jaws.

Tails Their powerful tail, makes getting behind a Surogawa and extremely bad idea, and places their vulnerable side in front of them. The thicker scales all around them also provides them with an all around damage bonus that helps give this clan it's notable toughness. Attacks from weapons, and ninjutsu that deal purely phycial damage, of lesser rank than the Surogawa has it's effectivness reduced by 1/4th. This bonus applies whether or not the Surogawa member is wearing armor or not.

Eyes
Their eyes are covered with a thin membrane underwater which keeps their vision perfectly clear. They can see through anything but complete darkness, and brackish water is no obsticle. The Surogawa clan has this swamp sight out to a range of 15 meters, or 45 feet, and can move with perfect vision and speed through even the dirtiest swamp water.

SmellOn average the Surogawa can smell a dead body because of its descret scent up to 20 meters away. However if a clean shinobi may even make it with 5meters without being detected by this nose. Their nose can also pick up and track scent if needed to hunt other shinobi. [/spoiler]

Kekkei Genkai: N/A

Clan Jutsu:

Spoiler:

History:

INSERT SYMBOL HERE

Before the villages formed, when the world was a more dangerous place, a small tribe of aggressive humans dwelled in the deeper regions of swamp. Their land was one of plants and water, full of fish, insects, and the most dangerous force known to those humans. The crocodile was the most imposing force known to the swamp, before the Surogawa clan, and it's efficint and deadly design inspired the tribe's priests. Using their dark magics, the first members of the surogawa clan summoned forth the great cheif of the crocodiles. The clan dropped before it offerings of hundreds of fish and a thousand rabbits, racoons, and birds. They gave it their praise and their worship, and pleaded for it's protection and help. The Surogawa clan keeps his history secret, and is only passed down through their generations by word or mouth.

The great crocodile consumed the offered feast in one bite, then tore through half the present clan members with the another. It swallowed the great group of people whole, then returned to the swamp, laughing. The great bubbles of it's decending breath stirred up the waters of their swamp, and the clan though for a moment that all was lost. When they returned home to their thatch hut village, they lamented over their situation, but then the great beast struck again. The cheif crocodile was said to be two hundred feet long, and akin to a moving mountain of power and weight. It tore into the center of their small village and tore a great hole into the earth. The swamp waters flooded the village, killing another half of the clain. Their numbers were reduced to a mere handful when the beast turned on them. It spoke in a low and grinding voice, instructing them to tend to it's eggs, if they wanted to survive.

The crocodile laid almost 200 eggs in the hole that it tore, each about a foot and a half long and covered in a slimy, leathery shell. For two full months the eggs remained dormant, and sat in the great mound the croc had burried them in. When they finaly did hatch, the clan found inside something very different than a clutch of large crocodiles. The people the beast had eatten had been changed, taking on the horrific shape of the crocodile, yet also remaining arguably human. The new creations were going to be the masters of their swamp, and had the favor of the great crocodile. They retained all the memories of their human days, however eventually the clan fell apart. Over the course of a few decades the fully human population of this clan died off, and only the hybrids remained.

The clan was born a new, and from that day on became the masters of their own fates. Though they fought amongst them selves, no other force dared to challange them in their natural domain. The clan began to perfect their new shapes, and learned to use their new forms to great effect. They took over the swamps, and formed their own territory. The clan has little use for buildings, and lives exclusivly in the swamps near present day Kirigakure. Their city is unrecognisable by almost anyone, just a brackish swamp stretching to the ocean, full of grass, reeds and mounds of dirt. Crocodiles thrive in this area, and even most explorers dare not enter this dangerous territory, known as the Drowned Swamp.

After Kirigakure was founded, the elders were quick to make peace with this clan, and activly seek out new recruits from it's line. They are known to be the best force for protecting the wet lands around Kiri from invasion. As ninjas the Surogawa are only grudgingly accepted within Kiri city limits, as their monsterous appearance often frieghtens children, and grown men a like. They look like predators made to kill, and their great claws and teeth do nothing to help. Only because of their legendary toughness and great loyalty to Kiri do they remain an accepted and hesitantly welcomed force for Kiri. The Surogawa themselves have reamained loyal to Kiri since it's inception, agreeing to protect the swamps so long as their domain is left alone. Their secret place is mostly built of underwater chambers and hollowed out meeting places. For hours on end a group of Surogawa can meet beneath the waves, and talk to eachother undetected. Clan Details: Open [Kiri Only]

Age : 31 Posts : 2547

Your clan can only be a hybrid with one type of animal. They might be similar, but Crocs and Alligators aren't the same thing so please remove that part from the history.

Also, if you would please, divide up all special characteristics that come with it and give an explanation for each one.

Example:

Enhanced Strength:
An in-depth description of this. How far does this enhanced strength go?

Heightened Senses:
An in-depth description of this. It effects all five senses? In what way for each sense?

Huge Lungs:
An in-depth description of this.

And so on. They don't have to be too long, just a general consensus. A full paragraph for each should be fine. Obviously the sharp teeth doesn't need it.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

ok edited it all jus as you said

except huge lungs

I didnt know how to futher explain that one because its a natural crocodile trait

Posts : 1084

You didn't exactly do as he said. John is wanting you to organize the clan traits, like so...

Enhanced Strength:
Clan members have the natural trait of extreme strength, being able to lift up 3000 pounds at the maximum. Blah, blah, blah more detail.

Heightened Senses:
Details, details, details. You could lump in Night Vision, incredible hearing, sharp sense of smell, and what-not into this one category.

Do you understand?

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

I put everything in the traits area

I know it seems like a lot but it's just the natural crocodile abilities

DONE

Posts : 2032

Quote :: Strength Enhanced strength, (About 2x stronger than a human at it's physical peak.) allows the to be strong enough to lift 1500-2000 pounds. Moving Large stones would be just a simple workout for these guys. This strenght combined with their lungs makes them the best swimmers.

State the strength at each rank (D-S) giving individual pounds for each rank increase. Also, make it twice as strong to a ninja of equal rank, not just in general.

Quote :: Huge Lungs The Surogawa clan lung are able to expand 3x the size of a normal shinobi. For this reason the Surogawa can hold their breath for longer period of times. (genin: 5 post) (chunnin: 10 post) (jonin: 15 post) (Kage: 20 post). These lungs also keeps the surogawa clan from tiring out as fast. They usualy have 1/2 more the stamnia of a regular shinobi. These lungs combined with their strength makes them the best swimmers.

Instead of using genin, chuunin, jounin etc. it is best to use actual rank like C,B,A etc.

Quote :: Frost and Freeze Resistant I know I know. You think reptile, you think cold blooded. Yes, even though blooded most people fail to realize this reptile is more resistant to cold weather places. (Remember is reptile is one of the few to survive the ice age) Not completly resistant to cold weather just can withstand it to a certain freezing temp and time being within it. Unlike other reptiles, however, crocs are able to withstand an occasional frost or freeze.

Put this into a RP and Naruto based context. How would that affect you in role-play? how resistant are you to say ice based jutsu or suiton etc.

Quote :: Poison Resistant This kkg allows them to be to be resistant to poison because they actually have two stomaches. One Is the actual chakra storage system in which they also consume their foods. The others one acts like a filter to all bodily harmful substances. This is also why crocs and the Surogawa clan is never sick.

Denied. Being completely resistant to Poison combined with your other traits is OP. You may have resistance but not immunity. For example, if a clan member is poisoned, because of your stomaches you can clear out the poison from your system faster, making the post duration 2 posts less. Something like that.

Quote :: Sight Much like the crocodile the Surogawa clan has the ability to see in the darkest of places. Also used for tracking.

So night vision? also you would have to give some distances. Note that you will only be able to have one to two senses that are significantly heightened, or you this maze well be a sensing clan. Which it is not.

Quote :: Sensing They have very sensitive vibration sensors on their skin with the help of which they can detect even the slightest vibration and get out of danger. Able to sense a footstep 2Om away. (Remeber he may can sense it but if it's too fast he can't dodge it.) Dependind on the range.

Remove. For reasons stated above.

- Remove you KKG section. You are just repeating your clan traits, which isnt needed.

- regarding your history it needs to be a bigger length. A paragraph is approximately 7 sentences, you paragraphs are like 3. More detail please.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

edited all

even added two more paragraphs

DONE

Posts : 1084

ImaNewbie wrote:: Kekkei Genkai:

Clan Jutsu:
Name Death Roll
Type Kenjutsu
Rank C
Element N/A
Description The Surogawa clan famous Death Roll. Depending on the user and if they weild a sword this technique may differ. In order for the ability to work the enemy has to be within 5 meters reach of the user. In Ka's case his sword will expand out and ravel around his opponent and himself. By doing so the sword draws the two together and start twisting, cutting, and completely tearing anything inside. While doing so Ka drops himself and the opponent and rolls the opposite way too inflict even greater damage. Kills genin and most chunnin automatically. The downfall to this jutsu is that even the user recieve inflicted with the damge but doesn't die due to the fact of his scale provide extra armor that keeps him from recieving too much damage.

If this can kill a Genin or Chuunin it needs to be ranked higher, B or A ranks. Five meters is also quite the long distance. Shorten it.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

Done

but me shortning the lenght makes no sense beause my sword extends out 5 meters

Age : 34 Posts : 1492

If thats the case, you need to shorten the sword. A genin will not be able to swing a 15 foot sword.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

changed to 3meters

the actual blade is only 3ft.......it's ability is to extend out to 3m every so of ten

my character is a swordsman..........I just wanted to clarify that in case you guys didn't kno

Age : 34 Posts : 1492

Quote :: (About 2x stronger than a human at it's physical peak.) allows the to be strong enough to lift 1500-2000 pounds.

A human at their peak, unless they are a complete body builder, cannot lift 750-1000 lbs. That sentence contradicts itself.

Quote :: Not completly resistant to cold weather nor jutsu but they can withstand it to a certain freezing temp and time being within it. Unlike other reptiles, however, crocs are able to withstand an occasional frost or freeze. Cold weather is also the Surogawa biggest weakness.

Define. Whats a certain temperatue, how resitant to cold related jutsu? Detail.

Quote :: So night vision? also you would have to give some distances. Note that you will only be able to have one to two senses that are significantly heightened, or you this maze well be a sensing clan. Which it is not.

Thats what todd said, yet you still have 3 sensory enhancement; sight, smell, and hearing.

Quote :: Name Finish Blender
Type Kenjutsu + Ninjutsu
Rank S
Element Suiton
Description The Ka's own creation the finish blender. This jutsu is a two step process. First of all somehow the entire land must be flooded with water for this to be used. Ka's will then jam his 5 bladed sword into the ground. Each of these blades are 20 meter but they will all break down into 5 meters, creating a total of twenty, 5 meter blade extract from the ground. Ka then activates the jutsu making the blade start shredding and completely destroying everything in sight. Ka at the point is elevated off the ground by manipulating water lifting him into a safe zone among the jutsu. This jutsu will act as a blender and start raising water vertically causing another vortex than expands over a 50m radius.

Name Death Roll
Type Kenjutsu
Rank C
Element N/A
Description The Surogawa clan famous Death Roll. Depending on the user and if they weild a sword this technique may differ. In order for the ability to work the enemy has to be within 3 meters reach of the user. In Ka's case his sword will expand out and ravel around his opponent and himself. By doing so the sword draws the two together and start twisting, cutting, and completely tearing anything inside. While doing so Ka drops himself and the opponent and rolls the opposite way too inflict even greater damage. This is Ka's bread and butter. (Usually used as last attack). The downfall to this jutsu is that even the user recieve inflicted with the damge but doesn't die due to the fact of his scale provide extra armor that keeps him from recieving too much damage.

Name Swamp Secret
Type Ninjutsu
Rank C
Element Suiton + Donton
Description By mixing Donton and Suiton Ka has the ability to make swamp water. Water already favors Ka but when you add the earth element it is the perfect place for the Surogawa creating a swamp. This kill the enemy ability to see benethe water and makes harder for them to see when they try to open their eyes after having this water touch their faces.

Name Puddy Clones
Type Ninjutsu
Rank B
Element Suiton + Donton
Description Clones created with the mixing of the Donton and Suiton element. These clones are mobile and they can physically harm an opponent. If the enemy hits this clone it doesn't dispurt into smoke nor does it crumble or splash into a puddle. The creative clone just take the oncoming attack. It dosent dispurt but the clone becomes immobile. If it is physically hit (ex. Fist, foot, sword,ect) then that object will become stuck within the immobile clone temperarly leave the opponent open for an attack. Ka's bread and butter jutsu.

Name Death Roll 2
Type Kenjutsu+Ninjutsu
Rank B
Element Suiton
Description The Surogawa clan famous Death Roll. Depending on the user and if they weild a sword this technique may differ. In order for the ability to work the enemy has to be within 8 meters reach of the user. In Ka's case his two blades will expand out and ravel around his opponent opposite ways. At the very time Ka performs his water blast vortex through the handle of his sword causing a water vortext sucking in objects not so heavy shreading it completely. The two blades together and start twisting, cutting, and completly tearing anything sucked inside. The downfall to this jutsu is that this jutsu can be only used in one direction and partically leave Ka open for attact.

Name Final Roll
Type Kenjutsu + Ninjutsu
Rank A
Element Suiton
Description The Surogawa clan famous Death Roll. Depending on the user and if they weild a sword this technique may differ. In order for the ability to work the enemy has to be within 15 meters reach of the user. In Ka's case his 3 blades will expand out and ravel around his opponent opposite ways. At the very time Ka performs his water vortex jutsu through the handle of his sword causing a water vortext sucking in objects even heavy. Turning it into mear shreads. Also at this very time, The three blades together and start twisting, cutting, and completly tearing anything sucked inside. This jutsu can be used in all directions and Ka would be mobile to move at will.

Unless you are planning on making the clan specifically Weaponry/Ninjutsu with elemental affinities of Suiton/Doton (NOT DoNton), these are just your personal jutsu. I see nothing in this area beyond the swamp one that even relates to your clan.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

once again DONE

Posts : 1044

I'm going to look over this, as I am an aspiring Herpetologist, this is in my field and I can see a few things that need to be fixed here and there. Namely, as Z pointed out to me on the walk home when we talked about this app, you have all the strengths of the creature and none of the weaknesses, the good comes with the bad.

Posts : 1044

Strength: For your strength, how do you gain this strength? Crocodiles do not have any truly 'enhanced ' strength in human-measured terms because our strength is from our arms, crocodiles don't use their arms for force, they use their mouths, and that kind of force can only be exerted by the jaw. The croc's muscles in the jaw arent even what gives it its force (human jaw muscles are stronger than theirs in some species), its about how the jaw snaps down. It makes little to no sense and has no explanation. Also, change the description of the technique and at least write some flavor text or whatever to flesh it out, it looks very crummy.

Lungs: Your lungs expand? Where does your body have the room to have the lungs expand without striking the rib cage, and thus, losing all that prepared breath or worse, tearing your lung tissues. Your increased stamina is a different trait completely, don't mention it here, and crocodiles do not have any kind of increased stamina, they are the laziest creatures on earth besides sloths. They conserve energy, they don't have excessive amounts of it.

Scales: This is full of typos and grammar errors, fix those. Also, do you shed scales? Are the scales over your skin or a part of it? Are they treated as skin for the purposes of other jutsu or are they treated as scales? Crocodiles also do not breath in water, they breath air, they are not amphibians. Thats why they have their snouts above water, thats just incorrect information on your part.

Frost Resistance: Remove the side comments, they make it unprofessional. And the ice age, reptiles survived the ice age? Please, for your sake, go reread the title of Ice Age 3. You know why its called that? Because the ice age pretty much killed everything that wasn't a mammal or an insect, so thats another false statement. And the second you came into contact with cold air, your blood would slow down as a reaction, your movements would get sluggish, and if you stayed too long in extreme cold you would actually be forced into a hybernative state because of your cold blood.

Reptiles also have to regulate their own temperature so you wouldn't warm up by leaving the area and just waiting, you'd need to add more heat to your body, so even after the source of cold stopped you'd still be royally screwed over. Crocodiles don't live in places where their water source freezes over or drops too low in temperature, and there is a really good reason for that, they'd die.

Some species of their ancient ancestors survived, by sheer biologic luck, but the modern creature is not the type to survive cold temperatures of any sort. The damn thing can't even sweat, so temperature is the crocodiles worst enemy, it has never been, it is not, and it will never be their friend.

Sharp Teeth: Sharp teeth and a strong jaw are two separate features. The teeth are constantly growing, so you would need to mention that. You can tell their age by the rings in their teeth sometimes too, like a tree. A crocodiles teeth can penetrate some metals, but in the Naruverse, so can lots of stuff, but you need to balance it out for rank. At what rank can the teeth penetrate what? Also, just because you can get through it, it doesn't mean you can get out, or that you can do anything after that.

Jaw: A crocodiles jaw would have its own downfalls, like the inability to chew, the fact that your mouth actually has a delay between periods in which you can open and shut it (stored energy from its position makes it so great for force, but you can't do it so quickly.) That would also make the face have a much different appearance, and if the rest of the face wasn't modified it would look very 'odd' to say the least. Like a bear trap, it takes time to set up, and its very hard to look over.

Poison Resistance: Poison is too broad of a category, especially considering that most poisons won't get anywhere near your stomach and digestive system. It makes no sense, and I personally have never heard of multiple stomachs in a crocodile, either that or what I know is under another name besides 'stomach two'. Crocodiles can't grind their food, so if you have the jaw, you also need to swallow rocks and waddle around to use the stones to grind up your food for you.

You could only be resistant to poisons that targeted your digestive system, and even then thats not a trait of a crocodile, it doesn't match them at all. A croc doesn't care if you poison it, because its going to snap your neck in three seconds anyhow, its far from immune to any poisons. Zoo keepers regularly tranquilize the buggers, shows you how resistant they are too foreign chemicals.

Smell: More details, definitely more details.

Hearing: Those ears are designed to hear underwater, yet you make no reference whatsoever about this trait of them. You mention they aren't penetrated by water, but not that they can hear under it without distortion.

Sight: You have multiple eye lids if you have crocodile eyes and they need to be constantly moist. Also, crocodile eyes would lack binocular vision, they aren't designed like human eyes, they can't measure depth of space on our level. Thats why the attack at close range, they can't really afford to miss in most cases and they also have better aim closer up (like everything else, except that their aim is crap at a far distance.)

Stealth: I don't really know what to say about this except that it makes no sense. Your rank doesn't make you more sneaky, thats based on the individual and it isn't a measurable trait of any kind so this isn't suited for a clan ability.

Kekkei Genkai: Thats not a Kekkei Genkai, everything else you listed above is more of a Kekkei Genkai than this.

I'll go over the jutsu later if you still want to continue with this.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

Done

Hage I know you don't like me and no i'm not trying to argue but

1. Crocodiles dont shed scales or skin they grow into it

2. They do have two stomachs one of them breaks their food down and the other hold all the nutrients that why they have slow metabolism and can live witout food for over a year

I kinda edited that in my favor bucause this is Rp. i like to use creativity a little.

3. As I said before this is RP and also my character is a hybrid of a croc and a human therefor his strength is compared to humans.

Aslo they are very strong other places besides they jaws. They drag wildlife as big or even bigger then them like children. (water bufflo, Zebra, etc) Crocs are strong man.

Note: this is no argument what so ever. I did erase some part but I also edited others. I'm just ready to Rp so I asking of you please put your feeling about me aside and treat me equal to other.

Posts : 1044

I was not aware of that, though I haven't seen anything that proves it to be true. Do you have a source link on crocodile scales? My knowledge is completely off-hand, I just tried to google things but the results are pitiful at best.

Crocodiles have a slow metabolism because they're cold blooded, having multiple stomachs doesn't really hinder the metabolism much because otherwise cows would have an even slower metabolism because they have multiple stomachs but they eat quite a bit. Thats a trait of being cold blooded, as I'm aware of it.

They use their jaws to drag things, but they are not strong in the human perspective, like I said, because they're muscles aren't all that great and crocs tire very easily. As Z reminded me, it takes a crocodile three days to dig in a bank and make a hole for its nest, if they were very strong they wouldn't have that kind of trouble. The strength is in their jaws, the rest of their body isn't very remarkable and those parts that are (their fast speeds for example) consume great amounts of energy and then they tire a few seconds later. Thats not really what a human would consider strong, that would be considered unremarkable, lots of animals can do that. They don't have much arm strength, and thats what you're referring to in your characteristic.

This is a purely objective posting, I haven't made any personal comments beyond my shock at some of the things posted because they're common knowledge to me, but I'm aware not everyone spends their nights reading animal encyclopedias. As for creativity, when you use an animal nature has already 'pre-balanced' the creature, not including negatives unbalances it and makes it OP.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

Sorry Hage I keep messing up.

Link: http://www.chevroncars.com/learn/wondrous-world/crocodiles
first one i came across........4th paragraph

Rephrase: Crocodiles have 1 stomach but that stomach as 2 chambers within it.

Strength:
See this is RP and a character im creating. He his and hybrid of human and Croc. The human side somes first he jus has crocodile traits. Therefor the strength I had for him is in his arms. Even though you say a croc isn't very strong in the body in reality it's body is still a lot stronger than a humans. actually more than 2x.

also i was gonna follow the rules and guidelines of their weaknesses but i dont like putting them in my app's because metagame. They don't admit it but they do. Next thing you know everybody here is steve erwin

Final thing I wasn't tying to offend you at all

Posts : 1044

If that strength went to his arms that doesn't make much sense, crocodiles are stronger in their legs because thats all they have, and they're fast in quick bursts so stronger legs would be decidedly more 'crocodillian'.

As for metagame, thats the job go the Staff to correct when it occurs, its your job to present a good application, not worry about all that.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

ok but wen i meant arms i was actually talking about the whole body strength....

So am I DONE

Posts : 1044

Nope, I want all your special characteristics/abilities/whatever to be sufficiently detailed with at least three lines forming a coherent paragraph. Theres quite a few details that you're missing out on explaining.

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

FINISHED

Hope it's approved now.

Age : 34 Posts : 1492

With your Noble Traits, you have Academy = genin, Genin = Chuunin... etc. Whats hat mean?

Age : 36 Posts : 1004

finished

I meant to erase that

Age : 34 Posts : 1492

Im gonna say approved, but I want Hage to have the final say, as he has done the majority of this application. He can probably pick out the minor things that I missed due to tiredness/lack of sleep/whatever.