| | Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] | |
| |
Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 03 Sep 2011, 5:45 am | |
| .Inoshi, Uchiha. THE INFO. Name: Inoshi Sumi Uchiha. Nickname: None notable. Age: 16. Gender: Male. Appearance:
|: Body Inoshi is a handsome young man with elegant cream skin and an elite physical frame. He is quite a short fellow in comparison to most people his age, being only 5'5 in height and weighting approximately 145lbs. Blaming his genetics as the source of his miniscule height he is often underestimated because of it and looked down upon, literally. However in conjunction with his innocent presence, his height makes him more cute and approachable, a deadly combination along with his personality. He has flawless marble baby skin along with the plush redness of his cheeks and ears. Being a clansmen of the Uchiha from his father's side, Inoshi inherited captivating dark brown eyes. Likewise he inherited the Uchiha's silken black hair which never seems to have a strand out of place. Since his hair extends to tailbone length, he finds it easier to manage within the formality of a loose ponytail, wrapped in a long blue bandage. Despite being in his mid teens he has still not grown any facial hair, not even stubs. The cause is unknown, but he does possess some stubble black hair on his body which includes underarm, chest, arms, legs and groin. Physically, Inoshi is well framed with night perfect muscle proportions which is quite rare in comparison to other individuals.
|: Markings Inoshi has a tattoo of a black horned circle on the lower left half of his back. It was given to him by his father when he enlisted in Oto no Kuni's military when he was younger as a sign of honor. Within his community, the horned circle is a symbol for death and malice, which the villagers only branded on the child who shown the most potential for being a powerful ninja once they were older.
|: Clothing Inoshi's clothing is not complex by any means, but a rather simple assortment of pieces with noticeable ties to the attires of many Uchiha clansmen and Sound-Nin. For a basic layer he wears his under garments and a black fishnet shirt which serves as the foundation for his torso piece. Over that, he wears a black hooded shirt with long loose sleeves that flows serenely with the wind. The collar of the shirt is parted down below his chest area, making his appearance more provocative. He then wears dark blue pants that extended down to mid calf level, where they are met with white bandages that cover the rest of his leg and ankles. For footwear he wears the traditional ninja sandals although instead of being blue, his is black. Lastly he has his ninja kit tied around his waist, three bags in total. One being on his left side, one on his right, and the last on his backside, positioned in an angle for a quicker weapon withdrawal.
Personality: Inoshi is a deviant boy who is bad both inside and out. He is cunning, malicious, and fiercely intelligent which makes incredibly dangerous in nearly all parameters. If you were to approach him you must do so with caution, for he has a one track mind that usually trails into blood. He rarely looks into the positive aspects of live and actually prefers to dwell into the darker things in nature. It comforts him strangely, he finds himself naturally drawn to the darkness of human nature and bathes himself in it. He is also a good actor, capable of putting up a convincing performance to trick others into thinking he's innocent to either lower their guard, or charm them with his looks. Despite being an independent thinker, Inoshi's quite disciplined and has no problem taking orders from his superiors if he finds the orders logical. He is a rather right-hand man at heart although he is surely capable of taking a leader role without trouble. He is somewhat superficial, he prefers to reside in the biggest hideouts and have special treatment because of his abilities and status amongst the criminal world.
Unlike most criminals, he is not driven by specific motives such as revenge or gaining popularity. Instead he is leaning more towards stability. He is currently finding his place in the world and establishing is own hideout. But most of all, he wants to have fun while doing so, which usually involves a lot of killing, and freelancing through villages. His ambition in the long run is to one day rule Otagakure for himself, claiming the title of Otakage and leading the village into criminal greatness. Although very evil at heart, he has a deep care for his old village which he still affiliates and sees as his home. Inoshi enjoys a lot of things, he loves to walk around site seeing in different villages. His favorite things to see are large buildings and statues of political figures, which is usually vandalizes. He also loves to break into other people's homes and steal their belongings, whether it be money, food, clothing, or even toys.
Clan: The Uchiha Clan. Nindō: "Keep you mind sharp and your eyes sharper."
THE NINJA. Origin: Yu no Kuni - The Hot Spring Country. Affiliation: Oto no Kuni - The Sound Country [Criminal Alignment]. Rank: C-Rank listed Nukenin. Specialties: Ninjutsu - Genjutsu. Elemental Affinities: [Katon] - [Raiton] - [Yin]. Combat Style: Inoshi is a talented fighter who is well rounded in all areas of combat but favors mid-long ranged encounters given his personal talents. Occasionally if the situation permits, he can engage in close-quarter and prove to be a exceptional challenger against many physical fighters. Although not being specialized in physical combat, he gains the upper hand by the fearsome combination of his Uchiha bloodline and the Sharingan. Using his Sharingan and his excellent analytical prowess, he exploits the weaknesses of a opponents movements and counters accordingly. He is a diverse thinker whose actions are influenced by his emotions and intentions. On some encounters he can go straight for the kill, but in most scenarios he prefers to toy with the opponents mind, which is why he prefers to study Genjutsu. Typically, he uses Genjutsu on a one-on-one situation depending on his opponent, since it's easier to influence someone when others aren't around. In addition to that he has great elemental talents as well, being powerful in both fire and lighting based attacks. He primarily uses fire to kill larger groups of targets, and uses lightning for quick assassination attacks. Furthermore, it preserving his chakra he is comfortable wielding a blade with the guidance of his Sharingan to fight in close range.
Special Characteristics:
Yin Release - Quote :
- Name: Yin Release.
Rank: D-S. Type: Chakra Based. Physical Requirements: Must have Genjutsu specialty. Training Requirements: 700. Description: Genjutsu is a notably skillful specialization that requires great intelligence and chakra control in order to perform. Those who have attained this special characteristic have met those criteria which has allowed them to take their illusions to the next plane. Genjutsu fittingly falls under the broad category of Yin Release and it has been revealed that those with superior talent in Genjutsu likewise have greater mastery in Yin Release. This type of mastery allows them to more accurately manipulate the victim's chakra flow to their brain and stimulate more powerful illusions, making you're illusions more realistic and bypassing a persons perception. Because of your more powerful illusions, it now takes double the chakra cost to perform a Kai Release than it normally would for targets.
THE BACKGROUND. History:
- Spoiler:
- Inoshi was born in The Hot Spring Country into a household that consisted of his father and him. His mother died shortly after his birth due to a strange illness, leaving his father to care for him. His father was an ex-criminal reining from Konoha and passed down many criminal traits to Inoshi even at a young age. Both of them resided peacefully near the outskirts of Yu no Kuni for a short period of time, until moving to Sound Country after his father received a letter from the Otokage.
- Within Sound Country, Inoshi was formally trained in the art of Ninjutsu and learned much about his own clan from his father. As a result he developed a strong sense of pride for the Uchiha name, and an unbreakable loyalty to the Sound. For it was there that he finally bonded with his villagers and took part in the community, even if it was a criminal society.
- Once he graduated the "Academy" he began to do nukenin-based missions for the country which at that point only consisted of small crimes. Unlike other villages, he was not assigned to a team. Instead, Sound had mixed ninja with different teams, so everyone could form some sort of bond and strengthen the country, in the long run. Even with just his basic ninja abilities and a few katon techniques in his arsenal, Inoshi proved to be an exceptional young ninja and far surpassed his peers. For that, he was branded a tattoo on his back, which symbolized a prodigy in the making.
- Years later, Inoshi's father was killed a team of Hunter-Nin from Konoha that managed to breach Sound. Catching them in the act, he activated his Sharingan but still couldn't manage to defeat his father's killers. After a beating and coming close to death, the Otakage appeared within the room and effortlessly killed the band of Hunters. The death of his father took a great toll on Inoshi's heart, and he found comfort in the Otakage. The Otakage became his mentor shortly after, and the two of them developed a powerful bond.
- In honor of his father and childhood, during his teen years he made his way back to Yu no Kuni to establish citizenship again, which he did successfully. He stayed there for a brief period of time before beginning his travels to other villages. Frequently he receives missions from Sound Village via hawks, which included a lot of thievery and "assignments".
Roleplay Sample: Sound Village Emerges.
THE ARSENAL. |: Items
- Spoiler:
Name: Katana Rank: C Type: Primary/Melee Quantity: 1 Description: Commonly refereed to as a 'Samurai sword', the katana is characterized by its distinctive appearance. It has a curved, slender, single edged blade up to three feet in length, circular or squared guard, and long grip to accommodate two hands. As such, it has become renowned for its sharpness and cutting ability.
Name: Genin Kit Rank: C Type: Supplementary Quantity: 1 Contents: 10 Kunai, 8 Shuriken, 5 Senbon, 2 Exploding Notes, 1 Exploding Pouch, Five Metres of wire/string, File, 10 Makibishi, 1 Windmill Shuriken, 2 blank small scrolls.
|: General Ninjutsu.
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu [Clone Technique] Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique] Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu [Body Replacement Technique] Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu [Escaping Skill] Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. This technique can only be used if the user is a higher rank then their captive. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them. Chakra Cost: Equivalent to the cost of the opposing jutsu +2
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking] Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing] Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 3
|: Uchiha Techniques.
- Spoiler:
Name: Sharingan Activated: One Tomoe Rank: - Type: Bloodline - Doujutsu Accessible To: C-Ranked Uchiha Description: The One-Tomoe version of the Sharigan is accessible to young Uchiha who skills have deemed them C-Ranked in power and skill. Like all versions of the Sharingan, the user is able to see the flow of chakra whether it be internal or external. Such skills derived from his ability include being able to identify clones, detecting chakra barriers and genjutsu, and even telling if someone is placed under a genjutsu by detecting chakra irregularities. Being the beginner form of the Sharingan, the One-Tomoe form grants the user the basic skill of the Sharingan which is being able to grant its wielders incredible levels of perception and clarity. In a more simplistic explanation, the user's vision is now able to see perceive things in slow motion. From flying weapons, to enemy movements, everything is slowed to a speed readable of that of the user. However, even though the user may be able to see an attack or know it is coming, their body may not have time to react.
|: Genjutsu
- Spoiler:
Name: Genjutsu: Bunshin [Illusionary Art: Clone]. Rank: D. Type: Genjutsu. Element: None. Range: -. Description: Genjutsu bunshin is an illusionary technique that can be performed both inside and out of a Genjutsu. It allows the user to create up to two clones of themselves which can be used to confuse their opponent since they are incapable of inflicting harm, likewise no harm is capable of being inflicted onto them since they are intangible beings. Chakra Cost: 3.
Name: Genjutsu: Sakura no dansu [Illusionary Art: Cherry Blossom Dancing]. Rank: C. Type: Genjutsu. Element: None. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Description: A powerful illusion that at it's current level can be activated after a series of hand seals by the user. This is a sinister illusion that disperses the caster in a humongous cloud of red cherry blossoms that covers the field and blurs the vision of anyone caught within the spell in its contents. The user can move within the field while coating their movements in blossoms, making their movements and attacks hidden to the enemy. Typically with a blade, the user will proceed to attack their opponent while vanishing and reappearing in the storm of cherry blossoms, dancing around their enemy while slicing them into bits. However, during this process it has been noted that the opponent will have a slight increase of hearing. This does not enable them to accurately predict the user's movements, but it does give them a directional clue as to wear the caster may attack next in regards to direction. Chakra Cost: 8[2]
Name: Genjutsu: Aruku yūrei [Illusionary Art: Ghost Dancing] Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Element: None. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Description: A unique Genjutsu which allows the user to appear to be fading in and out of reality by the viewer, from whence it's name was given. When in movement the user appears transparent and fades out of sight as if disappearing, which in turn confuses the target and making it difficult for them to narrow down the users location and movements. This technique takes on a different aspect in the presence of sunlight. When in direct sunlight or any intense light for that matter, the user appears more translucent than transparent, making them visible but not fully. At this state the user can be spotted by the eye, however if engaged in physical combat with the user, it can prove difficult to predict their movements given their translucent state. This technique requires no handseals in order to perform but instead can be activated while in motion. It may only be applied on one target at a time, leaving the user vulnerable to other spectators. Chakra Cost: 6[2]
Name: Genjutsu: Kage no pafōmansu [Illusionary Art: Shadow Performance] Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Element: None. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Description: A paralysis illusion created by Inoshi that is activated after the completion of a set of and seals. The illusion manipulates the target's shadow and animates it to a corporeal entity. The target's shadow wraps around their entire body, constricting their arms and legs. This effect causes the target to feel physically bound, reducing their reaction time and speed considerably for it's duration. What's fascinating about this technique is that it can even be used in conjunction with another illusion, however performing a dispel will free the target of both illusions instead of just one. Chakra Cost: 5[2]
Name: Genjutsu: Toripuru yakuharai [Illusionary Art: Triple Exorcism] Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Element: None. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Description: After forming a seal, the user stimulates the targets nervous system with their chakra and places them within this dark illusion. Within this technique, the reality around the target warps and they are placed within a dark realm in the center of a three tomoe seal, similar to the sharingan. Each of the tomoe begin to glow consecutively, one post at a time, creating a maximum three post duration for the technique. As each tomoe glows, the victims body undergoes harsh aching pains until they developed a post-traumatic effect after the technique's duration for the rest of the thread. This means the target will suffer mental stress and anxiety for the rest of the thread, where it will take great willpower from them to overcome it. If the target is undergoing post-traumatic stress along with any other strong physical ailments, it is very likely that they will collapse as a result. Chakra Cost: 8.
|: Katon Techniques
- Spoiler:
Name: Katon: Kasumi Enbu no Jutsu [Fire Release: Mist Waltz Technique] Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Katon (Fire) Description: After performing the necessary hand seals, the user is able to create and blow a flammable gas from their lungs. Once it comes in contact with fire or sparks, the gas ignites into a large fireball. Chakra Cost: 8
Name: Katon: Kōtei Endan [Fire Style: Emperor Fireball]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Katon (Fire). Description: After the utilization of a short series of hand seals, the user expels a continuous stream of fire from their mouth that formulate into large fireball. This not only delivers a destructive fireball in the opponents direction, but also allows the user to navigate the fire stream emitting from their mouth in another direction as a surprise secondary attack, however directions cannot be changed in succession. Chakra Cost: 7.
Name: Katon: Uchiha's Akumu no Hōmotsu [Fire Style: Uchiha's Nightmare Treasure]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Katon (Fire). Description: A destructive technique known by Inoshi, similar to the Yasaka no Magatama in terms of appearance. Forming a seal, the user expel a large ring of fire in the shape of three spiraling tomoe, which hurls towards the target. Upon impact or command, the three tomoe of the attack will spin more rapidly and increase in size until ultimately it's surrounding will catch aflame and in conclusion will transform into a small stationary twister of fire, merely 4m in diameter. Those caught within the fire storm will be severely burned, and die in most cases is they stay within it for too long. After seconds of activation the blazing twister disperses. Chakra Cost: 7.
Name: Katon: Wakai Yasaka no Magatama [Fire Style: Young Eight Slopes Curved Jewel]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Long (10m+). Element: Katon (Fire). Description: After forming the techniques hand seals, the user will fire three grand flaming discs within a direction, each in actuality are three tomoe bound together through their centre's by a single circular chakra thread. Due to this structure, the attack acts in a similar manner to that of a shuriken when launched, rapidly spinning towards the intended opponent until its ultimate collision. Each of them are capable of delivering a fierce explosion upon impact, comparable to a few exploding tags. Making them ultimatley capable of leveling a general area when used in conjunction with one another. Chakra Cost: 8.
Name: Katon: Kuro-gun no dansu [Fire Style: Black Military Dance]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Katon (Fire). Description: The user first imbues their blade with fire, before performing several slashes in the direction of the desired enemy, resulting in the creation of long fiery arcs of intense flames that follow the trajectory of the previous swings. The slashes can be performed in a variety of performances such as all in one direction in several, attacking numerous target's at once. More skilled users or wielders of the Sharingan are capable of matching the target's movements with their flame arcs, severely limited their escape routes before setting them aflame. Chakra Cost: 7.
Name: Katon: Hōsenka Tsumabeni [Fire Style: Phoenix Sage Flower Nail Crimson]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Katon (Fire). Description: The user unleashes a volley of shuriken with one hand, while at the same time exhaling fire-infused chakra onto them in order to increase the weapons' destructive potential by making them capable of inflicting severe burns upon direct contact with either the intended victim or any other object caught within their trajectories. Due to the chakra-based nature of the flames that surround them, the shuriken will continue to burn after impact, regardless of the flammability of the object that they ultimately collide with. Chakra Cost: 7.
|: Raiton Techniques.
- Spoiler:
Name: Raiton: Raijin Kunai [Lightning Release: Thunder God Kunai]. Rank: D. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: N/A. Element: Raiton (Lightning). Description: The user charges a small handheld weapon, usually a kunai, with electricity. This causes the blade to glow with a whitish aura as a result with electricity crackling around it's surface. This augmentation increases the cutting power of the weapon considerably, making it qualified to pierce stone with ease. In addition to that, imbuing raiton chakra into the blade gives it a paralyzing effect. Areas on the body that have been cut by the blade will become numb and limp for 2p. Furthermore, if the lightning kunai is blade locked with the target's weapon, the lightning can travel through the metal blade to the opponent's hand and numb it as well. Chakra Cost: 3[1].
Name: Raiton: Raijū Hashiri no Jutsu [Lightning Release: Lightning Beast Running Technique]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Long (10m+). Element: Raiton (Lightning). Description: By manipulating lightning chakra into their hand, the user can make the lightning expand to create the form of a hound. The hound remains connected to the user's hand, allowing them to control it during its attack although much concentration is needed to sustain it's performance. The lightning beast delivers a powerful electric shock to the target, which although isn't fatal can severely burn the area of contact and numb the body for a short period of time [2p]. Chakra Cost: 7.
Name: Raiton: Raijin Shuriken [Lightning Release: Thunder God Shuriken]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Long (10m+). Element: Raiton (Lightning). Description: The user channels raiton chakra around themselves and accumulates strong electrical sparks around their body. After formulating a basic seal, several large trinity-tomoe shaped discs of lightning will begin to form around the user. They will rotate in a sheering velocity and will be launched at the target in great speed. The discs are similar to shuriken in many aspects, such as movement and striking ability. They are capable of piercing most substances and delivering a devastating shock upon contact that can paralyze individuals for 2p and leave them in a state of pain. Chakra Cost: 6.
Name: Raiton: Raijininguhebun [Lightning Release: Thunder God Haven]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m). Element: Raiton (Lightning). Description: A meritorious technique that has offensive, defensive, and supplementary purposes, taking a worthy place in the user's raiton arsenal, the user extends their arms out and places themselves in a brief meditative state of mind, although not always necessary, and discharges electricity from their body. Lightning will crackle around the user's body and general area, creating a miraculous visual display. One of the purposes of this technique is that it can disrupt the frequencies of electrical appliances within their area, making them over circuit and explode. Secondly when in battle, the lightning is able to deliver a powerful shock to upcoming enemies that is capable of knocking them back a few meters and leaving them paralyzed for a short period of time 2p. In addition, ranged attacks such as weapons can be repels as well. Chakra Cost: 8.
FACE CLAIM. Source: Photobucket.com Image URL:
Last edited by Elder Sage on Sat 10 Sep 2011, 4:33 pm; edited 16 times in total |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 03 Sep 2011, 3:52 pm | |
| |: Ready for Checking. |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Fri 09 Sep 2011, 2:05 am | |
| |: Check Please. |
| | | Chris
Age : 28 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 10 Sep 2011, 12:16 am | |
| Sorry for the wait! It appears that despite my post in the Departures section, my colleagues have failed to take a look at your application.
And that's a shame, because I'm sure everything would have been over by now.
As far as I'm concerned, everything is looking great. I'm a tad worried about the personality section because I can see a few errors straight away, so please take a look at it and maybe correct&expand a little.
Also, what is this Inton element that you mentioned? Is that the Yin Release and if so, could you change it's name to just that.
As soon as those things are done, I will provide further insight on your custom jutsu, although as far as I can see, they are looking very nice and I'm rather tempted to 'get inspiration' from them xD
|
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 10 Sep 2011, 1:21 am | |
| |: Edited. |
| | | Emperor of Rock
Age : 32 Posts : 869
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 10 Sep 2011, 9:43 am | |
| - Quote :
- Name: Katon: Uchiha's Akumu no Hōmotsu [Fire Style: Uchiha's Nightmare Treasure].
Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Katon (Fire). Description: A destructive technique known by Inoshi, similar to the Yasaka no Magatama in terms of appearance. Forming a seal, the user expel a large ring of fire in the shape of three spiraling tomoe, which hurls towards the target. Upon impact or command, the three tomoe of the attack will spin more rapidly and increase in size until ultimately it's surrounding will catch aflame and in conclusion will transform into a small stationary twister of fire, merely 4m in diamter. Those caught within the fire storm will be seared to death in most cases. After a few seconds the blazing twister subsides, leaving ask and cinder as it's remains. This technique to me is B if not A if we would look at the rules of jutsus. Mostly because you can not just kill, but disintegrate the enemy to ashes. And that is, for a C rank, way to powerful. Also I think that's a typo over there right? Ash?
Besides that, I don't see any problem whatsoever |
| | | Chris
Age : 28 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 10 Sep 2011, 2:03 pm | |
| I hate to do this to you, since I do honestly love your custom genjutsu, but it just feels like they are far too powerful for their current rank. Now honestly, you can always store these ones and create slightly weaker versions of them, or just edit them a little.
So first of all, Genjutsu: Sakura no Dansu [Illusionary Art: Cherry Blossom Dancing]. I feel like you are given far too much freedom and protection with this technique. It just feels like your character will be out of sight, stabbing with his blade, without the fear of a counter attack... now perhaps though you're out of sight, maybe you could add a heightened hearing of the target, who although may be alarmed and often confused with how well his hearing has become, will in time be able to adapt and use this enhanced sense against you. In other words, it means that the genjutsu has a timer of sorts - as soon as the target gets used to the heightened hearing, he will be able to counter attack and guess as to where your character is.
For Genjutsu: Aruku yūrei [Illusionary Art: Ghost Dancing], I would like to see a translucent rather than transparent effect. Perhaps you can still see your shadow... or something along those lines. Maybe you can see your character when the sun shines on him.
For Genjutsu: Kage no pafōmansu [Illusionary Art: Shadow Performance] I would like it to be a technique which takes care of the target without your character's involvement, meaning that it would be necessary for Inoshi to hold his hands in a seal. Because otherwise, you're making this a very easy kill.
Genjutsu: Toripuru yakuharai [Illusionary Art: Triple Exorcism] feels way too powerful and I would rather see it as a B or maybe even an A Rank. There should be no faitning even if it lasts three turns and a 2 post stun is a little too much, I feel. Instead, it should be a 1 post shock, then another post of 'still getting over it', making the target very shaky. Then for the third level, have a 2 post shock and 1 'getting over it' post. That way, you have a very weakened opponent, who will have to be mentally strong to over come the jutsu's effects quickly and efficiently. Alternatively, the third level could add a little post-trauma effect on the target, meaning that he will be shaky for the rest of the battle.
Hope this won't be a hindrance to you. You don't have to follow my suggestions to the dot, although I think that my alterations will make your jutsu acceptable and still keep them very strong.
Kudos on these wonderful techniques btw. |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 10 Sep 2011, 4:33 pm | |
| |: Thank you^^ Edited. |
| | | Chris
Age : 28 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 10 Sep 2011, 4:39 pm | |
| Good work!
Approved 1/2 |
| | | Emperor of Rock
Age : 32 Posts : 869
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Sat 10 Sep 2011, 5:07 pm | |
| Approved 2/2 |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Uchiha, Inoshi [Nukenin - C] Mon 05 Mar 2012, 5:54 pm | |
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