| | Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] | |
| |
Sen
Age : 34 Posts : 27
| Subject: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 13 Apr 2012, 6:34 am | |
| Saru ,DijīTHE INFO. Name: Dijī Saru Nickname: Open Fist Baka Age: 17 Gender: Male Appearance:
Saru is simply a mess of a young man to be perfectly honest. His chestnut hair is in constant disarray and his facial hair seems to follow the exact same pattern from the rather large amount of darkened stubble found along the bottom of his chin. His eyes believe it or not seem to match his uncaring hair style as they are almost never fully open stuck in a perpetual state of relaxation and sport a milky grey hue that seems to have a strange calming affect on those who look into them. His face is rather gaunt looking as though he doesn't eat much which more or less matches the rest of his body. While he stands a good 5'10 in height he is rather scrawny in terms of raw strength however his body is rather well toned allowing for rather flexible movements and quick strikes. The clothing that Saru dons at almost all times is a collection of different colored worn cloth tunics the most popular of which he's seen wearing most is a large red one. These tunics of course all seem to be a few sizes too large for the young man as all of the sleeves hang down over his hands. Saru's bottom portion is usually covered by a pair of loose fitting ratty jeans or baggy shorts which always seem to be struggling to keep on considering his skinny stature. More often than not Saru's pants manage to find their way to the ground revealing one of his many pairs of colorful boxers, many of which have cute little patterns on them, many of which contain small adorable animals. His body in it's entirety is covered in a rather large amount of scars as given his usual drunken nature he almost never felt pain while sparring with his clansmen which often resulted in many wounds after the fight was over. This being said the only parts of Kasu's body not covered in scars are his ass, his face and his nether regions.
Personality:
Saru is for all intents and purposes a very flighty and cheery individual who seems to just be floating through life traveling the road of least resistance. This of course may be due to his constant state of inebriation as nobody has ever seen him while he hasn't been drunk off his ass. Speculation aside Saru is a very pleasant individual to spend time with albeit his constant silliness can wear on some peoples nerves after prolonged exposure. For the most part due to his drunken state Saru remains almost constantly silly bordering on the insane which almost always calls his ability into question. This of course suits him just fine as people seems to feel more at ease around an idiot than a honed shinobi which allows his to avoid conflict which he tries to avoid most of the time. While Saru maintains a very strict no killing policy with his opponents he's not so foolish as to not retaliate in self defense and end a serious fight as soon as possible by making his opponent unable to fight often leading to rather harsh actions in order to keep them from getting back up. That being said he treats almost all of his battles like friendly spars and is more than happy to have a bout with anybody willing to challenge him to a friendly match.
All this being said it is unclear as to weather or not Saru is a honed fighter hiding behind the facade of a drunken idiot or if he just figured out a way to make it work for him. At his very core this young man values the freedom to do as he pleases above all else as being confined in anyway is the only way to get him truly angry, something very few people have seen. In the grand scale of things, despite his simplistic nature he still maintains a sense of right and wrong that allows him to protect those he feels need aid and is also eager to participate in any sort activity as long as he finds it interesting. In terms of general socializing his keeps a friendly attitude towards everybody even at the most inappropriate times weather friend or foe which often get's him into trouble leading his opponents to believe that he's mocking them with his situational ignorance. Most of the time however this seems to garner at the very least a smile or chuckle in response to his shenanigans. In conclusion Saru does not want to rule the world nor does he want to save it. His only wish in life is to have as much fun as possible with as many people as possible until he is no longer able.
Clan: Aruko-ru enro Nindō: "Hiccup"
THE NINJA. Origin: Iwagakure Affiliation: Nukenin Rank: B-rank Specialties: [Ninjutsu|Taijutsu] Elemental Affinities: Raiton Combat Style: Saru enjoys a very clumsy yet fluid style of fighting which takes advantage of his unpredictable movements and constant random stumbling in order to create openings through evasive maneuvers. Many who have seen the young man fight say that his victories come through pure luck although anybody with a keen eye for combat could tell you it's much more than that. In short the point of Saru's particular combat style is to catch opponents off guard with a mix of lulling them into a false sense of security using a constant barrage of idiotic actions as well as getting them as drunk as him using his clan jutsu rendering less effective in combat in the process.
Special Characteristics:
- Spoiler:
Name: Quick Speed Rank: B Type: Physical Physical Requirements: Must Specialize in Weaponry or Taijutsu. Training Requirements: A 1200 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The second level in the art of speed accessible to those who have undergone intense training in high speed movement. The possessor of this talent has an increased speed of 40% which makes them considerably faster. Their movements become so fast and vivid that the ninja can create afterimages in motion. They're body is seen as a blur as they move swiftly and almost unmatchable to the human eye.
Clan Mastery Name: Clan Prodigy Rank: C Type: Chakra Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: A trait given to ninja who posses a innate talent for the manipulation of clan based techniques and has trained thoroughly to improve their skill. Their power over the the clans abilities has become so considerable that the ninja is now considered a young prodigy by the clan elders. Because of this, the user's clan based attacks are 20% more destructive with their increased power and size.
Name: Evasiveness Rank: C Type: Physical Physical Requirements: None. Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The ninja trains their ability in more advanced evasive maneuvers which serves the purpose of avoiding enemy attacks. The survivability of the ninja increases as they are now capable of executing quicker flips and dodging basic forms of physical attacks by reading an enemies movement.
THE BACKGROUND. History: Saru was quite the anomaly even in a clan filled with drunkards. The Aruko-ru enro was a clan just outside the borders of Iwagakure which dealt with the very unique alcohol bloodline release. All members of this clan starting at a very young age can produce both a gaseous and liquid substance from their bodies that causes affects very similar to those of alcoholic intoxication thus earning the clan it's Alcohol release title. Of course this is the reason why Diji Saru was considered a black sheep among his clan. For some reason or another it seemed as though where other members of his clan could regulate the toxin within their own bodies Saru could not causing him to remain in a constant state of inebriation since about the age of five when he was first able to use his chakra. From that point onward Saru continued his life in his drunken state. To everybody's surprise despite it's obvious effects on both his personality and coordination he somehow managed to still participate in his clan's training and trials often surpassing those without his rare defect. It was clear that being in a drunken stupor did not affect his ability to learn his clans teachings and may have even aided him. Despite his condition he managed to develop into quite a fine shinobi over the years although his methods weren't exactly customary considering that instead of sneaking about as most ninja did he preferred to simply attack his opponent or objective head on as if playing a game of some sort always with a very cheerful and silly disposition. Sadly the good times could not last forever and Saru's life was no exception. It was a routine mission near the Iwagakure borders. Him and a few others had been charge with the task of guarding the border as there had been reports of suspicious people skulking around outside of it. Their suspicions were correct as not even a day after their arrival there was a surprise attack on the border and despite putting up one hell of a fight the enemy ninja managed to subdue him and his comrades. That was the last time he saw any of the friends he had grown up with sadly as they were all taken away separately for god knows what.
Waking up several hours later after being beaten unconscious he awoke to find himself in chains being held in a small prison cell. If there was one thing that actually got on Saru's nerves it was being confined and this much was apparent as he began to slam on the cell door rather adamantly until one of the guards came to check on the ruckus. Of course as he got within range of Saru's cell it was already too late as a strange amber mist exploded outwards from the confines of the cell engulfing the guard and almost instantly intoxicating him. Within seconds the guard was writhing around on the ground near the cell rather playfully slurring his words and the like. Without hesitation the Saru had already relieved his captor of the cell keys and made his escape into forest near the encampment. From that point on he made no attempt to return to his clan and family. His mentality for the most part was simply one of freedom. He would no longer be tied down and from this point on Diji Saru would do as he pleased and have a great time doing it.
Roleplay Sample: "Always so harsh Kiyomi-chan!" Cried out a rather slurred and unusually happy voice from a bit of a distance away from the impatient and aggressive woman. He could be seen waving his hand in the air rather stupidly as he slowly but surely stumbled his way towards his friend tripping several times in the process all the while giggling each time he took a spill. At last he had reached his destination before once again plopping down on his back in the sand next to Kiyomi staring towards the team of Suna ninja upside down. "My goodness that was quite the hike" The strangely garbed man exclaimed as he started to breath a bit heavier as if his few yards of travel he made was some sort of marathon. "I'm surprised I managed such a feat in my condition" He said as he began to laugh once more this time in a more hysterical manner as he began to spread his feet and arms apart making a rather nice looking sand angel. Of course everything this man had just said and done had happened rather differently from another view point. His supposedly labored journey to reunite with him teammate was even worse than he had in-visioned it as anybody else looking upon him would have seen him rolling about in the sand before finally doing a small belly flop into the sand next to her and rolling over. Of course besides crazy antics his words were hardly audible much less translatable and only came out as mumbles for the most part. Only a few words were understandable such as "Kiyomi" and "Hike". You see despite this man's sanity questioning actions he was actually rather mentally stable. Of course that means very little when your in a constant state of inebriation like this gentleman. With a sudden burst of vigor the man popped up from off the ground and grabbed on tightly to his partner wrapping his arms around her shoulders leaning against her body for support as he placed his chin on the top of her head. Once more he looked at the ninja before him and asked a rather simple question. "Have any of you guys seen a big guy about this high and this wide" He asked as he mixed up his hand gestures confusing height from width. With that he dozed off slightly after clinging to Kiyomi once more and resting his head on her's leaving the rest to his comrade.
THE ARSENAL. Kekkai Genkai
- Spoiler:
Name: Fuhen Hebereke / Everlasting Drunk Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Self[/b] Element: Kg Effects: This is the very core of the Aruko-ru enro's jutsu arsenal as it keeps them in a constant state of inebriation allowing him to use his entire set of intoxication based jutsu with little to no difficulty. This jutsu last's for 4 posts and cannot be used more than 3 times in a battle. Cost: 3 (2 per turn)
Name: Sake Kasumi/ Alcohol Mist Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 6m Element: Kg Effects: By supplying a small amount of chakra around their outer layer of skin the user can produce a rather potent sweat of intoxicating fumes from their body creating a large dense mist within a twenty foot radius of themselves turning most people within it into drunken idiots like the users. The mist act's through both nasal and oral intake making anybody who inhales it suffer the effects. (Intoxication lasts 3 posts) Cost: 6
Name: Margarita Bomu/ Margarita Bomb Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: 3m Element: Kg Effects: By concentrating chakra in their skin the user is able to create the alcoholic toxin at an alarming rate in the form of their sweat. Once a sufficient amount has been created it begins to gather into the wielder's hand and takes on the shape of a ball about the size of a baseball. However don't let the size of this jutsu fool you as the ball of toxin is actually condensed to that size to insure a more powerful effect once it goes off. Of course this jutsu doesn't stop there. Being so small in size it can easily be manipulated by the user making them able to control it's trajectory rather precisely by means of a small strand of the same material of which it's made which cannot move farther than 15 feet away from it's user without detonating prematurely. Once detonated the ball releases a rather dense blast of extremely potent intoxicating mist into a rather large area of about 15 feet around it. Unlike Sake Kasumi however this mist can be absorbed through the victims skin as well. Intoxication lasts 4 posts. (Intoxication lasts 4 posts.) Cost: 10+ 1 each post it's not detonated
Name: Uisuki Nami / Whiskey wall Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: 1m Element: Kg Effects: This is the only defensive move in the Aruko-ru enro's arsenal which become rather apparent the first time somebody makes an attack on them with this jutsu active. After making the correct hand signs the clan member spews a rather copious amount of their powerful alcoholic byproduct into the air that all gathers into a giant globe of dark hazel liquid about 4 feet in diameter that slowly descends into the user's waiting hands. As long as the user maintains physical contact with the liquid and is able to keep a chakra flow in it they can control the fluid withing a four foot distance around them. This jutsu can only be broken by energy based jutsu as physical attacks merely displace the liquid as it passes through albeit at a slowed rate of travel. This jutsu can be canceled out by a single higher ranked or same ranked energy based jutsu or two of a lower rank. This jutsu lasts for 4 posts. Cost: 12
Custom Jutsu
- Spoiler:
Name: Raikou Stream Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: 3m Element: Raiton Description: A simple jutsu that surrounds either of the user’s hands in a raiton current and allows the current to reach of distant of about 10 feet before coming to a stop. This jutsu is more or less used as a distraction seeing as how anybody hit with it will on receive a minor jolt however it can be used to deflect small projectiles or even give a small weapons raiton properties of it’s own. While not physically damaging this jutsu can numb a body part slightly if it hits and can be combined with water to give it a much bigger kick. Must be maintained each turn Chakra Cost: 3+1
Name: Raitoningu Sokubaku [Lightning shackles] Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 1m Element: Raiton Description: A technique in which the user projects their chakra by bouncing the energy between their hands, causing a resonating effect with their energy. Once the technique is complete a moderately sized stream of lightning begins to flow between both hands resembling some sort of binding. As long as the user keeps his hands at least within a meter of one another they can actually use the lightning current traveling between hands for taijutsu purposes allowing them to give a moderate jolt to anybody who to passes the stream. The closer the hands are together the stronger the shock will be to things passing through it. The strongest this attack can get can be compared to the shock of a taser. Chakra Cost: 6 + 2 maintaining cost each post
Name: Muda no kobushi Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu/Taijutsu Range: 1m Element: Kg Description: Concentrating a small bit of chakra into both hands Saru is able to to envelope them in a small haze of the toxic substance. While coating in said substance each fist is able to launch one blast of the toxic haze within a small radius of impact spanning about 1 meter in all directions. Due to the power of the mist however, unlike most of Saru's techniques that take affect almost immediately after making contact the affect of this one is delayed for a single post until the victim starts to feel it's affects. While in effect the user must maintain a fist or else the haze around the hand dissipates prematurely. (Intoxication lasts 2 posts) Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Badi o nomu/ Drinking buddy Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: 3m Element: Kg Description: After concentrating a small amount of chakra, Saru spews out a moderate amount of alcoholic liquid that almost immediately forms into a clone of Saru. Being made of liquid it's constitution leaves much to be desired although it's ability to withstand punishment is hardly it's purpose. Once this clone stability has been compromised it explodes covering a wide area of 3 meters around it almost instantly with a mist just as potent as Sake Kasumi. (intoxication lasts 3 posts) Chakra Cost: 10
Name: Tekīra Kōn Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: 3m Element: Kg Description: By concentrating a moderate amount of chakra to his outer layer of skin Saru begins to sweat the alcoholic toxin from his pores profusely as it begins to slowly envelope his skin. From this point the real purpose of this technique is ready as at this point every bit of the toxin that now coats his body may be focused to a single point of his body preferably one of his limbs and launched forward in a large torrent of gaseous amber mist that extends outward starting with the diameter of roughly 20cm in Saru's palm and extending to about 1 meters in width once it reaches it's maximum length of 3 meters. The force of this jutsu is strong enough to knock over most ninja at point blank range. Causes intoxication through nasal, oral and epidermic intake. Intoxication lasts 4 posts Chakra Cost: 12
Name: Matīni kōzan Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 1m Element: Kg Description: This jutsu is mainly used to catch an opponent off guard while they make a close ranged attack on Saru. By focusing chakra into his legs Saru begins to sweat from them profusely allowing them to quickly produce a liquid toxin at such a rate that it produces a small puddle at his feet. Once at his feet Saru sends a very tiny amount of chakra into the puddle through his feet and quickly moves off of the puddle only a second before it explodes outward in all directions covering the immediate area in the liquid toxin threatening to intoxicate any living thing that it comes into contact with. This jutsu takes affect after being ingested orally or coming in contact with the skin. This jutsu may be prepared a turn in advance and must be activated while standing on it to detonate. Intoxication lasts 3 posts Chakra Cost: 6 + 1 activation
Name: I~ēgābomu Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 2m Element: Kg Description: Gathering up a small bit of chakra into his outer layer of skin with this technique Saru is able to increase the rate in which his toxin is produced from his sweat pores however he is able to restrain this for a sort time allowing it to build up over time growing in potency. Once the technique is ready to be released Saru needs only make a single hand sign allowing the now pressurized toxin to explode from his body as a dark hazel mist in all directions in a 6 foot radius around him. This jutsu needs to be used a turn in advance and no other Kg jutsu may be used while preparing for this jutsu (Intoxication last's 3 posts) Chakra Cost: 9
Name: Hōden Fīrudo Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 2m Element: Raiton Description: By steadily charging his body with raiton chakra Saru can release the pent up energy after a few moments to create an expanding field of raiton around him that extends for 2 meters before dissipating almost as quickly as it appeared. This jutsu can be used for both offensive and defensive purposes depending on how Saru uses it. Any energy based elemental attack besides fuuton of the same rank will proceed to be redirected allowing a high chance of avoiding the attack while attacks of a higher rank will pass through it they will be weakened moderately. This jutsu can only be used up to 3 times in a battle with a two post limit between uses. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: Supaishī monkī dansu Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Self Element: N/A Description: By focusing chakra into both his palms and feet Saru essentially goes into a spastic fit of completely random movements involving using both his hands and feet to spring about with enhanced distance and speed. This jutsu is more or less only uses to dodge a barrage of attacks coming from all different directions or to at the very least throw the enemy off to allow for either escape or a surprise attack amidst the chaos. This technique can only be used every other post and causes slight fatigue to Saru after it's use. Chakra Cost: 8
Taijutsu
- Spoiler:
Name: Kitai [Anticipation] Rank: D Type: Taijutsu Range: 0m-5 Element: Description: The user will focus on an opponent, watching closely for any movements. Their bodies reactions will increase as long as they remain motionless, allowing them to respond quicker to attacks. This cannot be used to make attacks faster, though this move may aid in finding an opening. This jutsu cannot be used immediately, and must be used one turn before gaining the benefits. Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Kūtenryu [Racing Charge] Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: 0m-5 Element: Description: The ninja will gather chakra into their legs in order to blast forward at a target at about roughly about 30km/h, hoping to ram into them. Their speed adding to the collision, but makes this a difficult move to control and nearly impossible to turn with. Chakra Cost: 5
Academy jutsu
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim:N/A Source: N/A Image urlN/A
Last edited by Sen on Fri 20 Apr 2012, 3:45 am; edited 14 times in total |
| | | Dan
Age : 29 Posts : 1236
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:58 am | |
| Hello Sen. A few discrepancies:
1. Appearance should be at least a few lines longer or an extra paragraph at the very least. 2. Coding problems in Special Characteristics. 3. Personally I feel that your History should be a little longer, but am not overly fussed if another mod disagrees. 4. Muda no kobushi and Badi o nomu/ Drinking buddy do not exist in your Clan's jutsu. So would you want them placed in there or in your customs? 5. Raikou Stream is effectively creating a source of electrical current in your hands and won't be visible unless something passes within 10feet of it then it will produce a small bolt to jolt the thing in contact? So in effect it is like a mini-Van Der Graaff generator? 6. Firstly, You goofed by having " A technique that begins in an identical fashion as Ikadzuchi-" when no such thing as Ikadzuchi exists. Anyway, Raigeki no Yoroi [Lightning Strike Armor] I'm sorry but it will have to be removed - It is too similar to the Banned Raikage's Lightning Armor technique.
Fix those and we'll talk Turkey.
|
| | | Sen
Age : 34 Posts : 27
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Thu 19 Apr 2012, 1:53 pm | |
| Fixed~ |
| | | Dan
Age : 29 Posts : 1236
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Thu 19 Apr 2012, 2:17 pm | |
| Still need more info for Appearance man. :/
Muda no kobushi - make it if you move your fingers from the position the haze will dissipate.
Badi o nomu - bump up to B rank and fix the chakra costs accordingly. OR decrease the range of it, keep it C rank, increase chakra cost. |
| | | Sen
Age : 34 Posts : 27
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Thu 19 Apr 2012, 4:28 pm | |
| Fixed |
| | | Dan
Age : 29 Posts : 1236
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Thu 19 Apr 2012, 4:29 pm | |
| Looks good. You have my approval.
1/2 |
| | | Guest
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 12:33 am | |
| - Quote :
- Name: Sake Kasumi/ Alcohol Mist
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 20 feet Element: Kg Range: 20 feet Effects: By supplying a small amount of chakra around their outer layer of skin the user can produce a rather potent sweat of intoxicating fumes from their body creating a large dense mist within a twenty foot radius of themselves turning most people within it into drunken idiots like the users. The mist act's through both nasal and oral intake making anybody who inhales it suffer the effects. (Intoxication lasts 3 posts) Cost: 6
Name: Margarita Bomu/ Margarita Bomb Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: 5m-10m Element: Kg Effects: By concentrating chakra in their skin the user is able to create the alcoholic toxin at an alarming rate in the form of their sweat. Once a sufficient amount has been created it begins to gather into the wielder's hand and takes on the shape of a ball about the size of a baseball. However don't let the size of this jutsu fool you as the ball of toxin is actually condensed to that size to insure a more powerful effect once it goes off. Of course this jutsu doesn't stop there. Being so small in size it can easily be manipulated by the user making them able to control it's trajectory indefinitely until it is detonated. Once detonated the ball releases a rather dense blast of extremely potent intoxicating mist into a rather large area of about 15 feet around it. Unlike Sake Kasumi however this mist can be absorbed through the victims skin as well. (Intoxication lasts 4 posts.) Cost: 9
Name: Uisuki Nami / Whiskey wall Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: 0m-5m Element: Kg Effects: This is the only defensive move in the Aruko-ru enro's arsenal which become rather apparent the first time somebody makes an attack on them with this jutsu active. After making the correct hand signs the clan member spews a rather copious amount of their powerful alcoholic byproduct into the air that all gathers into a giant globe of dark hazel liquid about 4 feet in diameter that slowly descends into the user's waiting hands. As long as the user maintains physical contact with the liquid and is able to keep a chakra flow in it they can control the fluid withing a four foot distance around them. This jutsu can only be broken by energy based jutsu as physical attacks merely displace the liquid. This jutsu can be canceled out by a single higher ranked or same ranked energy based jutsu or two of a lower rank. This jutsu lasts for 4 posts and must be reused after the set amount of posts. Cost: 8 So all these Justu are not only not properly coded, but they all have multiple distances and ranges in all of them. This needs to be fixed. - Quote :
- Name: Raikyuu [Lightning Ball]
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 5m-10m Element: Raiton Description: A technique in which the user projects their chakra by bouncing the energy between their hands, causing a resonating effect with their energy. By adding elemental control, the sphere will then take on a charge, sparking into existing and creating a ball of lightning. This sphere can then be thrown at an enemy, electrocuting anything it touches in a blast of energy. Chakra Cost: 6 As a C-Rank technique, stating that it is capable of electrocuting an opponent, which essentially means the person will be out for the count, or dead, is seriously over powered, not even mentioning the fact that your character will be capable of such epic chakra control to the point that they concentrate it into a sphere. That is an advanced level of Chakra control, and thus, would not even be found at a C-Rank technique. This should be either Ranked up to an A [meaning you cannot use it as of yet], or forgotten altogether. - Quote :
- Name: Raigeki no Yoroi [Lightning Strike Armor]
Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: Self Element: Raiton Description: A technique that sends a large bolt raiton energy high into the air that will shoot downward back upon the user, impacting their body and surrounding them with chaotic lightning. Surging around the Shinobi, a glowing armor of lightning will be created. This armor will shield the body by having electricity lash out at anything that nears the target, as well as make any contact or weapons the user uses to be engulfed in the energy as well, adding a shocking effect to any blows they do. Because of this dual nature, getting near one using Raigeku no Yoroi is a dangerous task. This jutsu requires two chakra per turn to maintain. Only lasts for 3 posts and takes 2 to recharge Chakra Cost: 12 Dan told you to remove this. You didn't. I'm reiterating it. Remove it. NOTE: Any Jutsu involving your alcohol's properties should be a Clan jutsu. You need to either A. Get rid of them, or B. Your clan will be unapproved and then these will be added in appropriately and then re-evaluated. - Quote :
- Name: Muda no kobushi
Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu/Taijutsu Range: 0m-5m Element: Kg Description: Concentrating a small bit of chakra into both hands Saru is able to to envelope them in a small haze of the toxic substance. While coating in said substance each fist is able to launch one blast of the toxic haze within a small radius of impact spanning about 1 meter in all directions. Due to the power of the mist however, unlike most of Saru's techniques that take affect almost immediately after making contact the affect of this one is delayed for a single post until the victim starts to feel it's affects. While in effect the user must maintain a fist or else the haze around the hand dissipates prematurely. (Intoxication lasts 2 posts) Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Badi o nomu/ Drinking buddy Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 0m-5 Element: Kg Description: After concentrating a small amount of chakra, Saru spews out a moderate amount of alcoholic liquid that almost immediately forms into a clone of Saru. Being made of liquid it's constitution leaves much to be desired although it's ability to withstand punishment is hardly it's purpose. Once this clone stability has been compromised it explodes covering a wide area of 3 meters around it almost instantly with a mist just as potent as Sake Kasumi. (intoxication lasts 3 posts) Chakra Cost: 7 - Quote :
- Name: Badi o nomu/ Drinking buddy
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 0m-5 Element: Kg Description: After concentrating a small amount of chakra, Saru spews out a moderate amount of alcoholic liquid that almost immediately forms into a clone of Saru. Being made of liquid it's constitution leaves much to be desired although it's ability to withstand punishment is hardly it's purpose. Once this clone stability has been compromised it explodes covering a wide area of 3 meters around it almost instantly with a mist just as potent as Sake Kasumi. (intoxication lasts 3 posts) Chakra Cost: 7 Due to the fact that this is exploding, this should be upped to B-Rank, and the chakra cost edited accordingly. - Quote :
- Name: Kūtenryu [Racing Charge]
Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: 0m-5 Element: Description: The ninja will gather chakra into their legs in order to blast forward at a target, running like a bolt of lightning directly at a foe, hoping like a bullet to ram into them. Their speed adding to the collision, but makes this a difficult move to control and nearly impossible to turn with. Chakra Cost: 5 Bolt of lightning? Like a bullet? C -Rank? Cannot Compute. Edit the speeds to a realistic mean, please. - Quote :
- Name: Tadayō [Drift]
Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: 0m-5 Element: Description: The Shinobi, like with Kūtenryu, will draw chakra into their legs. This time, however, it will be released in short controlled bursts, enhancing their speed in order to weave back, forward, and side-to-side. This will allow the ninja to make their way through groups of foes, dodge as barrage of projectiles, and defend against simultaneous attacks. May be maintained for two chakra instead of one per turn and can only be maintained for up to three posts before having to be reused. Chakra Cost: 6 We have a Special Characteristic for this named Evasiveness. You may remove this jutsu and train for that. |
| | | Sen
Age : 34 Posts : 27
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 1:32 am | |
| I'd like to make a few things clear. First off I'd like to politely ask that you do not talk down to me. Seeing as how Dan actually approved all of the mentioned jutsu I'd say it was fairly obvious we came to an agreement about them which he failed to post.
In regards to the clan jutsu Dan asked me to put them into custom as while they are apart of my Kg they are my character's alone, Which is something Adam said I could do while I was still in the process of making the clan so if you have a disagreement about that take it up with him I suppose.
With Ryukuu I do agree that it seems a little op for it's rank and have no problem changing the description however if you think electrocution means instant defeat then you may as well just get rid of almost all raiton jutsu entirely seeing as how that's basically the point of almost all of the jutsu under that element.
I will argue the fact that Badi o nomu/ Drinking buddy should be C rank regardless of a small explosion that only consists of a small mist. I'd understand it being a B rank if it actually harmed people but as it stands this jutsu is merely Sake Kasumi with legs but with a smaller area of effect.
In regards to racing charge I suppose you also cannot compute a figure of speech . That being said I'll edit the description so as not to confuse the masses.
I've fixed the range issue as well as changed Raikyuu into another jutsu entirely. I took out drift and edited Racing charge. |
| | | Guest
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 2:32 am | |
| If you believe that my tone is condescending, I'm going to have to politely tell you it is not and I believe you are reading the context of my speech wrong. When it comes down to it, Sen, I am doing my job and moderating your application.
Your Clan Jutsu are still not coded properly.
- Quote :
- Name: Sake Kasumi/ Alcohol Mist
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 20 feet Element: Kg Range: 4m Effects: By supplying a small amount of chakra around their outer layer of skin the user can produce a rather potent sweat of intoxicating fumes from their body creating a large dense mist within a twenty foot radius of themselves turning most people within it into drunken idiots like the users. The mist act's through both nasal and oral intake making anybody who inhales it suffer the effects. (Intoxication lasts 3 posts) Cost: 6 You still have two ranges. 20 feet equals 6 meters.
- Quote :
Name: Raitoningu Sokubaku [Lightning shackles] Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 1m Element: Raiton Description: A technique in which the user projects their chakra by bouncing the energy between their hands, causing a resonating effect with their energy. Once the technique is complete a moderately sized stream of lightning begins to flow between both hands resembling some sort of binding. As long as the user keeps his hands at about the same distance from one another they can actually use the lightning current traveling between hands for taijutsu purposes allowing them to give a moderate jolt to anybody who to passes the stream. Chakra Cost: 6 + 2 maintaining cost each post How far do the hands have to be away from one another?
- Quote :
- Name: Raigeki no Yoroi [Lightning Strike Armor]
Rank: B Type: Ninjutsu Range: Self Element: Raiton Description: A technique that sends a large bolt raiton energy high into the air that will shoot downward back upon the user, impacting their body and surrounding them with chaotic lightning. Surging around the Shinobi, a glowing armor of lightning will be created. This armor will shield the body by having electricity lash out at anything that nears the target, as well as make any contact or weapons the user uses to be engulfed in the energy as well, adding a shocking effect to any blows they do. Because of this dual nature, getting near one using Raigeku no Yoroi is a dangerous task. This jutsu requires two chakra per turn to maintain. Only lasts for 3 posts and takes 2 to recharge Chakra Cost: 12 Considering this is a banned technique, I am going to overrule Dan here on this one and tell you again, Removed It.
- Quote :
Name: Badi o nomu/ Drinking buddy Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 3m Element: Kg Description: After concentrating a small amount of chakra, Saru spews out a moderate amount of alcoholic liquid that almost immediately forms into a clone of Saru. Being made of liquid it's constitution leaves much to be desired although it's ability to withstand punishment is hardly it's purpose. Once this clone stability has been compromised it explodes covering a wide area of 3 meters around it almost instantly with a mist just as potent as Sake Kasumi. (intoxication lasts 3 posts) Chakra Cost: 7 We'll be ranking this up to B because unlike Mizu Clones, which just dissipate where there are defeated, [which is C-Rank], these explode outward with the additional ability to cause intoxication. Again, rank it up and edit the chakra costs accordingly.
- Quote :
Name: Kūtenryu [Racing Charge] Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: 0m-5 Element: Description: The ninja will gather chakra into their legs in order to blast forward at a target, hoping to ram into them. Their speed adding to the collision, but makes this a difficult move to control and nearly impossible to turn with. Chakra Cost: 5 You still need to include an approximate speed of this jutsu. i.e. 30km/h. |
| | | Sen
Age : 34 Posts : 27
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 2:53 am | |
| So you say. Regardless I've made the changes you've asked for as after 6 days of waiting you guys have worn down any sort of patience I had and I just wish to be approved as soon as possible. However I have every intention of getting that armor approved in the future so just a heads up. Good day ^.^ |
| | | Guest
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 3:10 am | |
|
Considering you were waiting on both a Clan and Character, six days is not a terrible waiting time as others have waited much longer and with less complaint. The Lightning Armor is a Banned Jutsu, not even falling into our Limited Section so I wish you all the best of luck and wasted energy that you will inevitably put forth.
Your Clan Jutsu are still not coded properly.
- Quote :
Name: Raitoningu Sokubaku [Lightning shackles] Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: 1m Element: Raiton Description: A technique in which the user projects their chakra by bouncing the energy between their hands, causing a resonating effect with their energy. Once the technique is complete a moderately sized stream of lightning begins to flow between both hands resembling some sort of binding. As long as the user keeps his hands at least within a meter of one another they can actually use the lightning current traveling between hands for taijutsu purposes allowing them to give a moderate jolt to anybody who to passes the stream. The closer the hands are together the stronger the shock will be to things passing through it. Chakra Cost: 6 + 2 maintaining cost each post
What is the strength of the stronger shock?
|
| | | Sen
Age : 34 Posts : 27
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 3:38 am | |
| I agree whole heartily besides the fact that I was assured several times they would be looked at so it's not so much the fact it took six days but more so that I was lied to on more than one occasion. Although I suppose asking for roughly ten minutes is a bit much to at least keep one's word. All I'm asking is that you at least be forward with me and tell me if you don't have the time to look at something instead of making empty promises. So keep that in mind before berating me for complaining a bit.
Last but not least I have discussed the armor with Adam through skype and he said it could very well be approved if presented in the proper way so I suppose sooner or later all of that wasted effort of mine will just turn to regular effort. All edits where made
Last edited by Sen on Fri 20 Apr 2012, 3:47 am; edited 1 time in total |
| | | Guest
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 3:46 am | |
| You still have not addressed the shock factor of the jutsu I have listed above.
When it comes to empty promises, I will apologize on my part however, real life takes a priority over an application and I did pass it off to those that I knew would get to it eventually. I would however make a note that although you did approach me multiple times on looking over your clan I only gave my consent three times and during those times, I looked it over once with you, got occupied the other time and the third I handed it over to Andy.
Make all the appropriate alterations and you will get your approval. |
| | | Sen
Age : 34 Posts : 27
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 3:50 am | |
| Real life > an application?! You lie! All sarcasm aside though I did make the change within the jutsu. It matches the power of a taser as I really had nothing else to liken it to. |
| | | Guest
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Fri 20 Apr 2012, 3:53 am | |
| Works perfectly.
2.2 |
| | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Diji Saru [B-Rank Nukenin] Mon 11 Jun 2012, 6:44 pm | |
| Archived. Due to inactivity.
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