| | | Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] |  |
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Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
![Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Vide](https://2img.net/i/fa/vide.gif) |  Subject: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Thu 03 May 2012, 8:15 pm | |
| ![Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] The_enchanter_by_kittenseitz-d3jzj5r-1](https://2img.net/h/i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss125/ironchainsnake/the_enchanter_by_kittenseitz-d3jzj5r-1.jpg) WASHI, ISAMU.THE INFO.
Name: Isamu Washi
Nickname: Rail - there is no particular reason why he is called by this name, it is like an alias, something that he uses when he wishes not to give out his real name.
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Isamu is a rather handsome and charming seventeen year old young man. He is a meter and sixty-nine centimeters tall and he weights sixty-nine kilograms. He isn't fat, but he isn't skinny either, so you could say that his height and weight are in somewhat of a sync. The eyes of this young man are of a golden color and they way he looks at people is sometimes rather strange. Ever since he heard that some consider ones eyes as a window into their soul, he started to look into peoples eyes trying to see their soul. His eyes are always observing, anyone can notice that, at lal times he is trying to see something that he had not seen before. His facial hair, which isn't so important, it is of silver and whitish color. He likes having a spiky hairstyle, since such a hairstyle is usually worn by those who try to look bad-ass and he likes those kinds of people.
His arms are of average length and muscular, but not too much, since he isn't one of those body builders who have large chunks of meat instead of arms. Isamu doesn't have much use for strength, in his line of work precision and crafty hands are needed and that is what he was focusing on, speed and agility. His clothes consist of a black shirt and black pants, both made out of quite durable materials that are perfect for any weather condition. On his shoulders he has a pair of shoulder protectors which are also black, so they are hardly noticeable. Around his right and left legs Isamu has his kunai pouches tied and in each there are fifteen tags, one scroll and two explosive tags. Finally, on his neck, he has a black star shaped tattoo.
- Spoiler:
Personality:
This young man is one who has two sides, one which everyone sees and one which is hidden, see only by few.
Everything in the world has a price for him, everything has a value, a number which will decide how much does something worth. Life of a powerless human is not so worth so he does not even bother trying to kill normal humans. But, the life of someone strong such as a Kage, it is worth quite a lot. Isamu only bothers to acquire things which are worth a lot in his book, he does not bother with something that is worthless, anything that requires more work than its worth to him is a waste of time. Objects that require a sacrifice are the most worthy to him, whenever there is something that needs a sacrifice appears, he will try to be there, watching. Risking ones life, sacrificing it for someone else, that is the most valuable sacrifice, something that he often tries to create, using people and making them pick between their own life and the life of a other.
Despite his greedy side, Isamu still has some kindness in him, even though he rarely shows it. At times he can pick letting someone live instead of taking their life and he can even decide to save someone from certain doom. There is a lot of factors which can influence his decisions and his actions, yet seeing him save someone is a rather remarkable sight, no matter how rare such a situation may be. While he is not fighting people he enjoys sitting somewhere quiet and cooking things. Since he never stays at the same spot for too long he often cooks things which take little time to be prepared or he enjoys developing new ways of cooking that could save him some time. He shares food with others, including hungry animals which come close enough to him. That is, of course, unless he is actually making something out of some animal, then animals are actually a substance which he uses to make a nice dish.
His greedy attitude is only a superficial part of him, he is more than that and there is more to him than that. Truth to be told he is actually a quite nice guy pretending to be something that he is not. Though, he only does this when with people who he knows such as his fellow clansmen, his family members and his other friends. Usually Isamu can be described as a rather easy going male who likes traveling and so he he is often seen with a bag being held in his right arm and over his shoulder ready to go somewhere. He likes women and the game of ze seduction, hunting them is a hobby to him you could say.
Clan: N/A
Nindō: I will have it all, everything that I need and even more.
THE NINJA.
Origin: Taki no Kuni
Affiliation: Nukenin
Rank: C
Specialties:
Main: Ninjutsu
Sub: Taijutsu
Elemental Affinities:
Main: Raiton [Lighting Release] ![Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] 18px-Nature_Icon_Lightning.svg](https://2img.net/h/images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091021173341/naruto/images/thumb/a/a3/Nature_Icon_Lightning.svg/18px-Nature_Icon_Lightning.svg.png)
Sub: Doton [Earth Release] ![Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] 18px-Nature_Icon_Earth.svg](https://2img.net/h/images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091012162504/naruto/images/thumb/5/52/Nature_Icon_Earth.svg/18px-Nature_Icon_Earth.svg.png)
Combat Style:
Isamu does not have an actual fighting style, he rarely fights anyone and most of the time he just prefers to run away. Indeed, he is a hit and run kind of a thief, robbing someone and then just running away before the person who was robbed notices. Sometimes however he will find himself in situations when running away is impossible, only at moments like that he decides to start fighting. But, even then, he just fights to get his foes to open a escape route for him to take. To create such openings he uses his Lightning release ninjutsu and taijutsu, followed up with traveling Earth release techniques to make the escape. He is a rather smart young man who uses his head instead of completely relying on his fighting skill, so one can expect a lot of sneaky attacks from him as he does love surprising his foes just when they are not expecting anything.
Special Characteristics:
High IQ
- Spoiler:
Name: High IQ
Rank: C
Type: Mental Based
Physical Requirements: N/A
Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic.
Description: The ninja innately possesses a high IQ which gives them great practical and analytical prowess. They have vast knowledge in nearly all forms of combat giving them a upper hand when faced with nearly any attack with being able to execute split second counters. With their high IQ the user can determine weak spots in attacks and defenses and can overcome nearly any obstacle. Like the obvious benefits of being very smart, the ninja is well regarded for their great mathematical and thinking abilities.
THE BACKGROUND.
History:
Isamu or Vice, which is his real name, he was born nineteen years in the Village Hidden behind the Waterfall, known as Takigakure no Sato. Like most people know that village was a really small one and it vanished later on. But, during the time when this boy was born the Waterfall village was in its best days. His family was a normal one, normal folks with no special powers who worked as farmers. None of the members of his family was a ninja and nobody except him did not even want to be one of those powerful humans. His parents and the rest of his family feared shinobi as if they were all monsters due to a incident which occurred a couple of years before his birth. They had a close encounter with one of the people who had gained the village Kinjutsu known as the Earth Grudge Fear, a powerful technique which actually turned its user into a monster, one which made everyone fear them. The person who they met was a true monster, someone who did not care who was who, killing without remorse. He wanted to kill the parents of the young boy but he failed since he was stopped by other village ninja and taken away for the crimes which he committed against his fellow villagers. After that event the parents of the young Isamu feared the shinobi race and they wanted for their son to stay away from people like that. But, he would not listen, he actually got into the ninja academy and decided to become a ninja of his birth village. Well, he did not care which village was it as long as it would make him a ninja.
The academy days of the young Isamu were pretty good, he really enjoyed that part of his life where he learned all about the world around him and the wars that brewed nearby. In the academy he meant a lot of people who shared his ideals and desires so they all became good friends soon enough, all planning how one day they will become strong enough to protect the village from harm. Like many other kids who dreamed about becoming heroes of Takigakure, this ones also knew about the Hero Water, the powerful liquid which would boost someones fighting skills and chakra to levels which could not be imagined by mortals. Despite the fact that most people got killed by this powerful liquid, these boys thought that if they had gotten strong enough they could managed to survive and master their new powers. At that time they did not know that the effects of the Hero water would vanish after some time nor did the knew that you cannot prevent death after the consumption of this holly water. In the academy Isamu was good with all of the basic ninja skills except Genjutsu which was not one of his good sides, he hated it due to the fact that it was just a bunch of tricks that could not harm anyone physically. At that time the young boy was interested more into Ninjutsu which could make amazing stuff happen and overwhelm his opponents with his skills in this area. He quickly decided to master as many Ninjutsu techniques as he could and so the first greedy desire of him had appeared, something that he will keep for the rest of his life.
His greed had drew him insane by the time he reached sixteen years of age, he needed more than his village could give him and so he had left his village in search for something that would make him satisfy his thirst. But, before he left his village his greed had grown to a level where it made him attempt to try and steal the Hero water. Of course, no matter how small his village was, it had Jounin guards and therefore he was easily caught and brought before the Daimyo of Taki no Kuni. Takigakure was a small village who did not have a Kage, it had a village leader of some sort, but everything was being governed by the Daimyo. This daimyo decided that he should imprison the young Genin for what he had done and take away his rank and shinobi status. But, luckily for him, he was rescued by his former Jounin sensei who just couldn't bare to let the youngster get locked in jail. Finally free, the silver haired male refused his senseis offer to live a peaceful and happy life and instead, he decided to start a journey to gain money, gold and all sorts of other valuable items. As his crimes grew, three years after his deflection, his former village pronounced that he was added into the Bingo Books as a C-Ranked Nuke-nin. His former sensei, right after he heard about this, he came to find him and to tell him about what happened. When he found him, he was shocked as Rail was a completely different person now. The silver haired male changed quite a lot, his eyes had lost their innocence and he had became a true Nuke-nin, his greed had consumed him and now he only cared about gaining money and riches. Saddened by this, the Jounin left, he could not bear to watch his student in such a state, nor could he have the heart to capture him.
Role play Sample: [Clicky]
THE ARSENAL.
Academy:
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique
Rank: E
Type: Genjutsu
Range: N/A
Medium: Optical
Element: N/A
Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others.
Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures.
Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: 10 meters
Element: N/A
Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread.
Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand.
Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu.
Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor.
Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed.
Chakra Cost: 1CP to seal; 1CP to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: NA
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Canon Raiton (1:(
- Spoiler:
Name: Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder
Rank: C-A
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Raiton (Lightning)
Description: This technique allows the user to create a wave of electricity from their hands. The user can vary its power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock.
Chakra Cost: C (5), B (10), A (20)
Canon Earth (6:(
- Spoiler:
Name: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu - Double Suicide Decapitation Technique
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Doton (Earth)
Description: Doton • Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. The ninja will travel through the ground to appear below their target. They will then surprise their target by then pulling them into the ground. Once in the ground their target is thus immobilized.
Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Dochuu Senkou - Underground Submarine Voyage
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Doton (Earth)
Description: Doton • Dochuu Senkou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. After forming the needed hand seals, the user can sink below ground and quickly travel through the earth.
Chakra Cost: 6 (2 per post)
Name: Doryuusou - Earthen Rising Spears
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Doton (Earth)
Description: This technique lets the user condense mud or stone, from the ground, and shape them into spikes that will protrude from the ground in order to skewer the target. The spikes are brittle, and can be broken with a strong blow or tough defense.
Chakra Cost: 7
Name: Retsudo Tenshou - Revolving Split Earth Palm
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
Element: Doton (Earth)
Description: Doton • Retsudo Tenshou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. This technique allows the ninja to control nearby stone and rock. When the ninja forms the needed handseals and slams their palm to the ground, surrounding rock will begin to churn and twist up crushing all those trapped within it.
Chakra Cost: 9
Name: Gansetsukon - Rock Spear
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Doton (Earth)
Description: This jutsu allows the user to take a small chunk of rock and turn it into the shape of a staff. The user can then use it as a weapon or throw it at their opponent. Because it is made of thin stone, it is very brittle.
Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Doryuusou - Earthen Rising Spears
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Doton (Earth)
Description: This technique lets the user condense mud or stone, from the ground, and shape them into spikes that will protrude from the ground in order to skewer the target. The spikes are brittle, and can be broken with a strong blow or tough defense.
Chakra Cost: 7
Taijutsu (7:(
- Spoiler:
Name: Dynamic • Entry - Dainamikku • Entorii
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: This jutsu simply appears to be a flying jump kick, often performed on the face of an enemy, while dramatically screaming the words "Dynamic Entry".
Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Konoha Senpuu - Leaf Whirlwind
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A taijutsu where one launches a succession of high kicks and low kicks. Firstly, the opponent's evasion margin is restrained upon seeing the high kick, thus augmenting the chances for the low kick to hit the mark.
Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: Konoha Kage Buyou is a Taijutsu technique that is used to position a ninja's opponent into a vulnerable aerial position. The ninja will first quickly appear below their opponent, then with a switch upper kick they will launch their target into the air. The ninja will then jump into the air to "shadow" the target with the target's back to their chest. This move is used before preforming "Omote Renge - Front Lotus" or "Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo".
Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Dynamic • Action (Dainamikku • Akushon)
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: The user flips towards the opponent and attacks with a series of punches and kicks.
Chakra Cost: 8
Name: Konoha Raiken - Leaf Thunder Fist
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: The user will spin to gain momentum and then lay a powerful strike into his or her opponent via punch.
Chakra Cost: 6
Name: Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: The user first uses the "Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance" to manuever his/her opponent in a vulnerable aerial position. While shadowing his/her opponent, the user will attempt to strike them from a vulnerable angle. If he/she is unable to make a clean strike, he/she will strike anyway as a feint, to draw his/her target's attention and defense to one area. The user can then strike the undefended area and begin knocking them downwards towards the ground. As the enemy falls back to the earth, the user will deftly rotate his/her body around to deliver a full force kick to their chest.
Chakra Cost: 7
Name: Kurotchishotto - Crotch Shot
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Range: Close (0m)
Element: -
Description: Kurotchishotto is a humiliating taijutsu technique. By appearing in front of the opponent, the user will charge a small amount of chakra towards their dominant leg. Performing an upward kick at the opponents crotch area, they will be able to force them up into the air by a metre where a second attack could take place. If the victim was a male, a great deal of pain will be dealt after the kick has been made.
Chakra Cost: 3
Small Scroll
- Spoiler:
Name: Small Scroll
Rank: D
Type: Supplementary
Quantity: 2
Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a small scroll will measure up to fifteen centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching fifty centimetres.
Storage: -
Ear-Piece Mic Radio
- Spoiler:
Name: Ear-Piece Mic Radio
Rank: C
Type: Main -Primary/Accessory
Quantity: 3
Description: The short range radio is capable of keeping ninja in contact up to 10 miles. The radio can accept multiple frequencies and is activated to talk by pushing a button on the neck attachment, making it simple to use even in the most dire of situations. With a durable carapace, it is designed to withstand water damage and even the pressure of extreme altitudes.
Kunai Kit
- Spoiler:
Name: Kunai Kit
Rank: C
Type: Supplementary
Quantity: 2
Contents: 15 Kunai (30 total), 2 Exploding Notes (4 total)
FACE CLAIM.
Character Claim: This character has no actual name, he was drawn for me by its author.
Source: Rebbeca Seitz - Kittenseitz from Deviant
Image URL: http://browse.deviantart.com/?order=9&q=kittenseitz&offset=48#/d3jzj5r
Last edited by Rail on Sun 20 May 2012, 10:37 pm; edited 22 times in total |
|  | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Fri 04 May 2012, 11:41 pm | |
| | Done. ^^ |
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sat 05 May 2012, 3:56 am | |
| | Apologies, but Haretsu is on Lockdown while it is in maintenance. Apologies for not mentioning this sooner; it seems that it must have slipped my mind. You may wish to either wait until Haretsu is reopened, or create another character in the meanwhile. I suggest the latter option, as the Haretsu may take a while; or may not be opened again at all. This clan also requires Administrative Approval, because of a recent incident. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thanks for your patience. Hopefully you'll make an adequate decision. |
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sat 05 May 2012, 2:47 pm | |
| Aww, I wanted to blow stuff up.
I switched to Kessho.
But before you approve this please answer a few questions for me since I am not entirely sure if this is what I want.
Questions:
- Does this clan consider creation and manipulation of Smoke as a Clan thing?
- Is Lava Release applicable as a Clan?
- Is Steel Release applicable as a Clan?
|
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sat 05 May 2012, 5:40 pm | |
| Sorry,  I thought someone may have informed you earlier, but that's hardly an excuse. Anyway, as for your questions:
1.) Which clan are you talking about? Either way, smoke release can be a clan, but smoke isn't really an offensive or defensive substance. It's just a gas that can make someone cough and can't explode.. I would highly recommend not making a smoke release clan xD
2.) Since it's exclusive to Bijuu only, Lava Release won't be allowed.
3.) I believe a member was once creating a Steel Release, but he magically disappeared. I don't know how he would feel if you suddenly took over, but his application is still in the clan section I believe. If you want, you may PM him and see if he'll finish or maybe allow you to help him with it. |
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sat 05 May 2012, 5:49 pm | |
| I went through the encyclopedia page and when I looked at it there was no note about it being locked. But now I noticed that they have updated it.
Got some more questions and replies.
1) Whoops...I wanted to write site, but I wrote clan. XD I was going to ask: "Does this site consider..." I know that smoke is just some gas, but as a bloodline I could give it some things to make it a bit more useful. But before I consider this, I got some more questions.
2) Mkay
3) Oh, I wasn't going to take his stuff and continue, since that would be stealing. I was just going to make a new one with the info from Nautopedia, Steel Release is a element revealed in the 4th movie I think. It would be a clan based on that, I don't know what this other person based it upon. But if he was trying to do the same thing then I guess I could leave it to him since this was the last thing on my list.
4) What about that new Magnet Release and the whole Iron Sand and Gold deal, are they applicable?
-----------------------
Oh and, if someone wants to add something about the application please do so.
I am only trying to decide on a clan, nothing else will go through any major change. |
| | | | Brett
Age : 29
Posts : 614
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sat 05 May 2012, 6:58 pm | |
| 1.) You're always free to try and get a clan approved, but generally speaking there has to be something rather significantly unique. So, please make it unique and different than anything you may happen to come across on Naruwiki or anything or the sort.
2.) Sand release is specific to the one tail. |
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sat 05 May 2012, 7:03 pm | |
| Yes, I am aware of that. But, I wasn't talking about Sand Release.
I was talking about Iron Sand and Magnet Release: http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Magnet_Release |
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sun 06 May 2012, 8:52 pm | |
| | Controlling anything as if it were sand is very similar to the Shukaku Bijuu. The main reason it won't be allowed is quite simple: the Shukaku is able to control sand as if it were a weapon, then use it as such. If for instance you controlled a different substance like said. ie. your metal dust; not only would you have the same abilities as a Jinchuuriki; but greater powers because you can freely levitate this sand, shape it into powerful items, and make it into a virtually impenetrable defense. It's deemed far more powerful than a Bijuu's ability, and thus it would be deemed over powered for a regular member to just wield it. Hope that helped. I'll be scanning your app over the course of the day, but since you're indecisive on your clan still, I won't be posting much criticism. |
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sun 06 May 2012, 8:55 pm | |
| I know that now, we already talked about it in the CB. XD
Er, I made my clan, just waiting for its approval now. If it doesn't get approved, I will just go with Kessho.
Though, depending on my clan, my History and Appearance might go through some changes.
So, I would appreciate if someone checks my clan first. Thank you. ^^ |
| | | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29
Posts : 4301
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Wed 09 May 2012, 7:33 pm | |
|
Given the fact your Smoke Release clan has been archived, I take it your character requires editing or is it ready to be checked once more?
|
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Wed 09 May 2012, 8:28 pm | |
| Still quite undecided.
Currently this application is for a Kessho, I never edited it to add the Smoke Clan.
Anyways, I'll add wip till I decide on a clan.
I apologize if I am causing you too much trouble. XD |
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Thu 10 May 2012, 9:04 pm | |
| | Finished |
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sun 13 May 2012, 9:00 am | |
| (Apologies on the wait)
- Are you sure you want a character that old as a C-rank? I only question because it's borderline B-rank, and your character well fits the description of someone younger.
- I don't want to seem like a dick, but your Nindo is very.. vague. It doesn't adequately portray your personality, or your character's method of thinking; nor does it really explain what he strives for. It is a nice quote; but you should remember that the Nindo is something very well related to the user, if not their way of thinking in general.
- Though it covers everything in the creation guide, I will have to ask you to improve on the combat style somewhat. You simply need to mention your usage of puppetry and Ninjutsu; and which tactics are usually performed by it. You don't need to go in depth on how you fight, just a vague understanding.
- Your history doesn't follow your character... at all. After reading it thoroughly, I've pretty much deduced that you'll need to completely redo the history.
- RP sample should be either a link to this site or a paragraph. Linking to other sites is a form of advertisement, whether harmless or not. If you wish, just copy and paste one of your posts from that topic.
- You have puppetry, but no puppets. Are you okay with this?
That is all for now. Oh; I do like the 69 references in the appearance 
|
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Wed 16 May 2012, 1:47 am | |
| - Enzo wrote:
- (Apologies on the wait)
Likewise. XD
- Are you sure you want a character that old as a C-rank? I only question because it's borderline B-rank, and your character well fits the description of someone younger. Oh, nah, I prefer older characters.
- I don't want to seem like a dick, but your Nindo is very.. vague. It doesn't adequately portray your personality, or your character's method of thinking; nor does it really explain what he strives for. It is a nice quote; but you should remember that the Nindo is something very well related to the user, if not their way of thinking in general. Yeah, I just wanted to put a cool quote there, but it had been replaced with something that fits the character more.
- Though it covers everything in the creation guide, I will have to ask you to improve on the combat style somewhat. You simply need to mention your usage of puppetry and Ninjutsu; and which tactics are usually performed by it. You don't need to go in depth on how you fight, just a vague understanding. Edits done.
- Your history doesn't follow your character... at all. After reading it thoroughly, I've pretty much deduced that you'll need to completely redo the history. Yeah, this is the only thing which I haven't fixed yet since I honestly do not want to redo the whole thing, too much work. Can you just explain to me why do you think this? Whit some instructions and your reasoning I am sure that I could just do some fixes and make it acceptable without having to redo the whole thing. Also, bare in mind that Marcus was not like this all the time, he changed and I haven't actually went in depth with this since I want to do it through RP. I did state in the last paragraph that he completely changed.
- RP sample should be either a link to this site or a paragraph. Linking to other sites is a form of advertisement, whether harmless or not. If you wish, just copy and paste one of your posts from that topic. That was not my intention, but taking a post out of a topic kinda doesn't show anything. Luckily, I got plenty of topics on this site so I linked to the first one that I've found.
- You have puppetry, but no puppets. Are you okay with this? Yeah, like I mentioned in the Combat style area, he just started with that so I will make the puppets later and have him develop this aspect.
That is all for now. Oh; I do like the 69 references in the appearance
|
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Fri 18 May 2012, 1:27 am | |
| Here's just the first few sentences of your history:
- Quote :
- Isamu or Vice, which is his real name, he was born twenty seven years in the Village Hidden behind the Waterfall, known as Takigakure no Sato. Like most people know that village was a really small one and it vanished later on. But, during the time when this boy was born the Waterfall village was in its best days. His family was a normal one, normal folks with no special powers who worked as farmers. None of the members of his family was a ninja and nobody except him did not even want to be one of those powerful humans.
See the problem? It's not even a smudge relatable to your current character. You'd have to rewrite that entire excerpt, and while you're at it the rest of the history. I would help you, but your history has far too few relations to your current character. And by 'too few' I mean practically none. A few things could be worked around, but the majority of the history itself would need redoing. I'm not trying to make this difficult, but the way it is right now; you can either remodel the character around this history, or just rewrite the history. Read it yourself, then compare it to your own character. You'll see what I mean. |
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Fri 18 May 2012, 10:27 pm | |
| | Fixes made. |
| | | | Enzo
Age : 29
Posts : 1797
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Fri 18 May 2012, 10:55 pm | |
| Besides this:
- Quote :
- When he found him, he was shocked as Rail was a completely different person now.
You are
[1/2] Approved! |
| | | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29
Posts : 4301
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sun 20 May 2012, 6:45 pm | |
| Just a few more edits away from gaining my approval; - Nickname; I couldn't find a reason for your nickname within your application, so perhaps you could write a brief description as to why he's sometimes referred to as Rail please. You can place the description either within the Nickname, Personality or History section. Whichever works for you.
- Marcus; for some reason, you have the name 'Marcus' mentioned within your Appearance and Combat Style. I'm assuming it's just a minor error on your part when writing your application out, please edit the names accordingly though.
- Age; currently the maximum age for a Genin and thus a C - Rank character is Seventeen. Just minus two years off your current age, apologies for this part, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't enforce the rules.
- Affiliation; either have a mention in your History as to how you managed to affiliate yourself with 'Kuromatsu, Genryu' or remove his name please. Right now it's quite bizarre how you know someone without ever learning about their existance.
|
| | | | Rail
Age : 32
Posts : 428
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sun 20 May 2012, 10:37 pm | |
| | Edits completed. |
| | | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29
Posts : 4301
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sun 20 May 2012, 11:01 pm | |
|
Character Approved
2/2
|
| | | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29
Posts : 4301
| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] Sat 11 Aug 2012, 10:13 pm | |
|
Archived.
Due to inactivity.
|
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| | Subject: Re: Isamu Rail Washi [C-Ranked Nukenin] | |
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