Kessho, Tsumi [Kiri Genin]

Age : 26 Posts : 260

Kesshō, Tsumi.

THE INFO.

Name: Tsumi Kesshō

Age: 22
Gender: Male
Appearance: Tsumi weighs in at 120 pounds, standing at an even 6 feet. Tsumi has never bothered to smooth down his white hair, and as a result, it sticks out in many places. Tsumi's hair is mostly short, but two strands in front go down to his mouth. Some infant beard hair grows upon Tsumi’s chin, but he has never noticed. Tsumi has a rather scrawny build and, much to his dismay, can’t seem to gain weight, no matter how much he eats. The item around his neck is a necklace, which his sister made for him. She told him to only open it when she dies, and he has kept this promise nicely.

On his chest is a metal vest, which offers minor protection to Tsumi. Now, Tsumi's vest is made of steel, using very small chain links in some places, so that the wearer can still move comfortably and easily. On his legs are his pants, which are also plated with metal. In fact, his pants are made of three layers: Cotton on the inside, for easy mobility; Leather on the outside, for minor protection; And Overlapping plates on his lower legs, for shielding. Tsumi never leaves the house without his metal gloves (he likes metal about as much as he likes swords).

His eyes are dichromatic; One of them having the trademark dark eyes, and the other being a focused grey. However, they grey eye changes color, depending on his mood. Naturally, Tsumi's hair is, in fact, Dark blue. However, he has long since dyed it, though, occasionally, a few blue streaks can be seen sticking out.

Forehead Protector: Tsumi's forehead protector is tied around his right forearm.

Personality: Tsumi is a rather strange individual. He is very sarcastic, while kind at the same time. Tsumi has a very strong sense of right and wrong, and intervenes into the simplest of conflicts. Tsumi does not understand his own mortality, and would gladly sacrifice himself for a good cause. He is a naturally brave soul, with one exception, GIRLS. Cannot talk to anything female, and usually gets a bit nervous when a girl talks to him. He knows nothing about romance so, when the topic is brought up, he becomes quiet.

Tsumi can usually withstand a girl’s presence once he gets to know them enough. Very sentimental about his life, but doesn’t really like to talk about it. Tsumi finds new motivation every time someone shows that they have genuine faith in him. Tsumi enjoys being social and talking to others. Tsumi doesn’t work well in a group he doesn’t know, but easily coordinates once he actually knows them. A clear head is the key to any win, and that’s exactly what Tsumi tells himself during every fight.

Tsumi cannot stand anything more than injustice. In fact, he's a pretty mellow fellow, though one of several things that will set him off is wrong-doing. Tsumi is...somewhat naive, and almost always seen with a big, cheesy smile on his face. Tsumi has an unquenchable appetite, which he is usually able to keep under control, though when he's hungry enough.... chaos ensues.

Although he refuses to admit it, Tsumi is, in fact, a masochist. During battle, even if he takes a brutal hit, he will usually go right on smiling, until restrained, or knocked out. When asked about it, he'll generally try to avoid answering, as he also hates lying.

Tsumi isn't quite 'all there'. A second consciousness has begun talking to him, on the inside of his head. This alternate personality tends to criticize Tsumi's actions, though he does tend to be helpful in a pinch.

Clan: Kesshō

Nindō: “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

THE NINJA.

Origin: Tsuki No Kuni (Exact location unknown)
Affiliation: Kirigakure
Rank: C
Specialties:
First: Weaponry (Main: Close; Sub: Mid)
Second: Ninjutsu

Elemental Affinities:
First: Raiton (Lightning)

Second: Doton (Earth)

Third (clan:( Shōton (Crystal Release)

Combat Style: Tsumi chooses to fight honorably, not using any tactics he labels as “cheap”, such as Genjutsu, or Jutsu he sees as too powerful. Always fighting fairly, Tsumi will try to even the odds against any foe, regardless of experience. Tsumi will generally avoid pointless battles, but always intervenes, when he sees someone in trouble, or justice not being observed. Tsumi favors close-range combat, due to his love of swordplay. Tsumi will usually uses Omiwarti (The god's crossing) as his trump card. When all else fails, those crystal needles will be his last resort. Tsumi loves being in high places during a battle. Tsumi usually gains the upper hand when fighting on places like rooftops, however, he absolutely despises the cold. Anywhere cold enough will severaly dampen Tsumi's focus.

Special Characteristics:

Speed:

One-Handed Hand Signs:

Improved Acrobatics:

Affliction:

THE BACKGROUND.

History:

Prologue:

Before the Academy:

Present Day:

Roleplay Sample:

RP Sample:

FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim: Vaan, FFXII
Source: Drawn
Image URL: https://servimg.com/view/17185580/103

Age : 26 Posts : 260

THE ARSENAL.

Academy Jutsu:

Kesshō Clan Jutsu:

Raiton Ninjutsu:

Doton Ninjutsu:

Non-Elemental Ninjutsu:

Weapon-Based Jutsu:

Inventory:

Age : 29 Posts : 614

Brett wrote:: Okay, so since nobody else has managed to make their way to your character, I'm just going to give you a few pointers..

1.) Make sure your character template is exact. That means no [center] tags and make sure you have all the correct headings and what not.

2.) Please fix your character photo up top, it is currently broken.
3.) Your character name is Buredo, Tsumi- your clan name is Kessho. Therefore, your character's name would be Kessho, Tsumi.

4.) Your personality and appearance are the same two paragraphs, you will need to fix that.

5.) As a weaponry specialist, you are allowed two types of weapons to be proficient with. That list is can be found here, and more specifically defined here.

6.) As a Kessho user, the clan utilizes Doton (Earth) and Raiton (Lightning) to create Shōton (Crystal). Therefore, the only two affinities you may have while being part of the Kessho clan are Doton and Raiton.

7.) You will need to expand your combat style by a little bit. At the very least, you should answer all of the questions asked in the character template.

8.) This is completely up to you, but the first Special Characteristic is free, you may want to think about taking one (if it is C rank at the highest). You can find the list of special characteristics with definitions here.

9.) Your history really only explains one event, it is highly unlikely that only one event has occurred in your character's fifteen years of life. You will need to expand on your history. Perhaps putting it in Arcs would help.
10.) All academy jutsus are free and do not count toward your total start-up 15 jutsus that are allotted. You are free to add more, or leave it as is.

11.) Lastly, you may want to consider picking up a ninja kit, you are allowed one C-ranked ninja kit as a genin.

As a suggestion, looking at already approved characters may help you determine how things should look when all is done.

2 major things that I still find wrong with the application.

1.) You need to change your weapon sub to exotic, not chains.
2.) Select an actual ninja kit. They can be found in the Encyclopedia.

-Also, since you're proficient with swords and exotic weapons.. why not actually get a sword and put that as part of your arsenal?

Age : 26 Posts : 260

Fixed accordingly. Would i be able to pick up a secondary, or just the Katana for now?

Age : 29 Posts : 614

If you have chains, write that into a weapon template please, and put it in your arsenal.

Age : 26 Posts : 260

Done. Thanks for taking the time to look my app over :3

Age : 29 Posts : 614

Approved
[1/2]

Age : 26 Posts : 260

Bumping for second approval.

Subject: Re: Kessho, Tsumi [Kiri Genin] Tue 15 May 2012, 7:12 am

Approved 2/2

Welcome to Kumogakure.

Age : 29 Posts : 1797

Archived.
Due to Inactivity.

Age : 30 Posts : 471

Un-archived.
Due to user request.

Age : 26 Posts : 260

Gonna need approvals again! :3

Age : 37 Posts : 2201

Hallo there! A few things I need to mention;

I feel a tad bit conflicted about your character's appearance. In the clan description, it says;

Quote :

Although not much is known about the Kessho clan, members tend to have dark blue hair and dark eyes. As a uniform they wear a wool collared green or blue robe over a fishnet shirt with their clan symbol on their back. They also have been known to wear a rope around their waste tied into a bow in their back.

So I am willing to compromise a bit here with you, as even if we are very strict when it comes to the clans; then in the clan it does say that not much is known about the members. I would prefer if you would have his physical appearance according to what I just quoted, but I am going to be more lenient about his uniform and that part can be skipped.
As you are applying for a clan, I want to see more work done. Add more to the appearance and personality. In appearance you don't mention his eyes or facial features, and in his personality you could add a few more things of his likes and dislikes. What really ticks him off? Etc.
In origin you write your character's birthplace.
When it comes to weaponry (in the specialties area) we ask that you write;
First: Weaponry (main: close/ sub: mid) or (long/close) depending on what weapons you intend to use. (the spoiler you made isn't needed)
I am sorry to say, but I have to deny your history. As we do not have any Gods or Demons on this site.
You have only 7 jutsu, but can start with 15. I would advice having something more than just your clan's jutsu. But it's not something mandatory.
You have to begin with a specific Genin kit, the one below. When you have been approved you can make your own custom one.

Code:

[b]Name:[/b] Genin Kit
[b]Rank:[/b] C
[b]Quantity:[/b] 1
[b]Contents:[/b] 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
You can only have one C rank weapon, and that's the one he will have as his main weapon.

Quote :

With the current system you choose two types of weapons and you then specialize in these types of weaponry. One is your main and the other your sub. Your main can be used up to your own rank, your sub may be used up to 1 rank below your rank, always being at least D Rank.
You are missing the FC section.

Age : 26 Posts : 260

Ok, think i fixed everything Smile

Age : 26 Posts : 260

Also,

[21:19:57] Mors Atra : There's nothing that says you can't start with 2 c-rank weapons.

Is this true? O:

Posts : 1216

You can start with a maximum of two C-ranks if you have weaponry. Don't double post. Just edit previous post to say your new message. And stop bumping.

Age : 37 Posts : 2201

Quote :: - Weaponry users on US are combined with Kenjutsu, though you can still have 'Kenjutsu'. With the current system you choose two types of weapons and you then specialize in these types of weaponry. One is your main and the other your sub. Your main can be used up to your own rank, your sub may be used up to 1 rank below your rank, always being at least D Rank. Other than your two chosen, you're treated as a normal ninja.

You may pick from the following categories:

Long Range: Shuriken, Bows, Bombs, Launchers, etc.
Mid Range: Chains, Fans, Sound-based Weapons, Nodachi, etc.
Close Range: Bats, Blades, Fists, Axes, Whips, etc.

Quote :: In terms of Weaponry, there is a limit as to how many weapons your character is able to possess in regards to your character's ranking. They are as followed:
In terms of Weaponry, there is a limit as to how many weapons your character is able to possess in regards to your character's ranking. They are as followed:

Nin. Rank C-rank
E-Wep ∞
D-Wep 15
C-Wep 2
B-Wep
A-Wep
S-Wep

I apologize for not being more specific, as you -can- have 2 if they are within the same range/both in the main group. And you can only have 2 of C rank weapons. So either you have to have the two hookswords, or the katana and a hooksword.

This is though stated in the systems and rules.

Age : 26 Posts : 260

OHHH, ok. I've read through some of the systems, though i had assumed it meant 2 TYPES of weapon, in whatever quantity. My bad :3

Age : 37 Posts : 2201

I feel a bit iffy about the whole "hair turning white" due to a voice appearing in his head. Plus it is not mentioned (not that I could see) in his history. So, perhaps it would do better to just say that he dyes his hair?
Quote :

Origin: The Village of Peace

Is that an actual village in Naruto?
In my last post, I told you that demons were forbidden on here. And so are Gods. And thus your history must be changed, and your character cannot possess that Blackheart technique.
As the hookblade is a custom made weapon, please use the template below; (also, fix the plural words).

Code:

[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Rank:[/b]
[b]Type:[/b]
[b]Appearance:[/b]
[b]Quantity:[/b]
[b]Storage:[/b]
[b]Special Abilities:[/b]
You have 14 jutsu of 15, just wanted to remind you that E ranks do not count towards the list.

Age : 26 Posts : 260

In regards to changing the history, i added a paragraph on the end, stating:

Quote :: "It'll be better if he doesn't know." They all thought, disappearing. For, you see, these individuals who had established themselves as demonic gods were neither divine nor demonic. In fact, these were three survivors of the original settlers of the Village Of Peace, who had managed to preserve themselves using a complex string of Edo Tensei and various other summoning jutsu. In fact, It was only a very simple Genjutsu that allowed them to appear as anything divine at all.

Changed my origin to Tsuki No Kuni.
Tsumi never knew, nor will he ever know the blackheart techniques. It was for story purposes only.
Put the Hookblade into the correct format.
Changed my appearance, regarding hair. He dyes it now :3
Added another Jutsu, totalling 15.

Age : 37 Posts : 2201

(1/2) approved.

Do note that since the Kiri village is still being made (although it shall be opened very soon) you may have to wait a little longer with getting your second approval. Patience is a virtue Wink

Age : 31 Posts : 1490

(2/2) Approved

Remember to make your account in the Accounts section of the Request Area

Age : 31 Posts : 1900

Archived due to failure to respond to activity check. Please message staff to have your character unarchived.