Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done)

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TheRiddler
TheRiddler

Age : 26
Posts : 20

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyWed 08 Aug 2012, 12:07 am

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Thca5v10

Natoki, Nazo .

THE INFO.

Name: Nazo Natoki
Nickname: Enigma
Age:14
Gender:Male
Appearance: Standing at 5'9 and 165lbs is New Genin Nazo Natoki. When he goes on a mission Nazo is commonly dressed in a black coat with multiple belts and zippers in which he holds Shuriken in, aswell as those he keeps in his ninja pouch. He also carries a cane with him for a reason most don't know but the cane is actually a shikomizue (a sword hidden in a cane), he carries it most place and never leaves it where he cant get it easily.

His black boots are a high grade of leather that last a long time before it can be worn down he usually has them on, under his trademark coat is a dark green shirt with aquestion mark on the back of it. He has bags under his eyes from staying up all night trying to deciper his scroll of riddles, and black hair that he does nothing to it looks different depending on how he sleeps. His skin complextion is usually pale but in the harsh heat he has tanned to a caramel brown, with dark blue curious eyes Nazo Natoki joins the Ninja world. In one of the pockets of his jacket he keeps a small blank scroll with him in case something strikes him and he can use it as a riddle, without his cane some will notice that he stands upright rather then putting his weight on the cane.

Forehead Protector: Nazo has his headband tied around his neck

Personality:Nazo is one of the more curious boys of his clan and is always reading and questioning trying to learn everything he can, all of this knowledge has lead Nazo to have a rather dark outlook on the world but tries his best to be positive to children other then that he speaks his mind. All of his knowledge has lead to a cockiness beliving that no one his age knows more then he does though he has a lot to learn as far as how to make friends, a fun fact is Nazo hates sweet food wherever whenever as far as Nazo is concerned is a fine time to come up with a riddle. He has always been angry with the confines of the sand wanting to explore the rest of the ninja world, Nazo has metioned the thought of leaving the The Sand village though most have dismissed it as wandering thoughts of a curious boy.

Nazo loves riddles when he was a boy he got a book of riddles and buried himself in it and soon became amazed at how not many could decipher them he used them to flaunt his intellegence. He sometimes loses the upper hand because of his need to ask riddles though some consider it to be his way of being funny, however this is actually a form of obsessive compulsion disorder as he sometimes cant help himself but to tell a riddle much to the anger of his companions. Nazo is known for his talent to get on anyone's nerves given enough time this is in part due to his riddles but also has something to do with the ability to point out small physical insecurites in a person given enough time of with the person, he can come across as condesending when someone cannot solve what he deems to be a simple riddle. It was at one point much worst then it is now "he is a malignant narcissist with an enormous ego." Harsh words uttered by a doctor to his mother when Nazo was a young boy from then on he harshly toned down his quote massive ego though traces of it still remain


Clan:N/A

Nindō: I will Unravel the Riddle of Life

THE NINJA.

Origin: Kaze No Kuni
Affiliation: Kumogakure
Rank:Genin
Specialties:First;Genjutsu (Illusionary Techniques) Second; Ninjutsu (Ninja Techniques)
Elemental Affinities:First; Earth Second; Wind
Combat Style:Nazo is a very tactical fighter, if he knows he's going to be fighting sometime soon he tries to setup traps and lure his enemies back to his designated area and fight in an area where he is in his element. He commonly uses Genjutsu to make people think he is better at Taijutsu then he is and also uses it to give him time to setup traps. though when it comes down to having no choice but direct combat Nazo relies heavily on a mixtrue of Genjutsu and Ninjutsu
Special Characteristics:
Spoiler:


THE BACKGROUND.

History:On the day of Nazo's birth it was one of the hottest days of the summer in the Sand village, the heat was at a point of suffication every one had been running the air conditioning and caused a short in the electrical system. Unfortunately for Uni Natoki it was also the day her water broke and she was rushed to the hospital as she arrived the lights died and the wirring of the air conditioning of the hospital died away, Mizo Natoki the boy's father crused and went to the nurse to see what happened as Uni was carted away to her room Mizo explained the power outage to his wife and her expressioned darkened. "You're going arent you...." Uni said "I have to i am one of the few ninja with a Raiton affinity i can get the power back on and then we can meet our son." Regretfully Mizo walked out of the hospital and rushed to the generator for the district they lived in, other ninja with the Raiton afinity were also there and they began flowing chakra into the generator knowing that it would take more time then any of them hoped.

Uni was struggling trying not to push pleading for the lights to come back on then the doctor walked in with a small syringe filled with a dark brown liquid "This is Ritrodine it will help prevent your labor but this is only a temporary fix as your water is already broken in about 10 minutes we will have to get along with out it" about 10 minutes later the doctor started the steralization procedure, by now Uni was highly irritated "Where the Hell is MIZO!" and then Finally after 30 minutes of a black out the lights flickered back on and the Air started wirring again the doctor immediately began to bark orders at the nurses and Uni stopped trying to hold the child inside her womb and welcomed the child into the world and thus Nazo's Journey Began....


2 years later "Watch" "Mizo honey im sure you just imagened-" "No look look!" Mizo set the two year old in the playpen and closed the gate "Now watch this" Mizo slowly locked the gate the boy's eyes were locked onto his fathers hand and as his hand left the lock the boy's eyes stayed locked on the lock "Well he watches your hands and what they touch it's not that big of a deal." "No no no now come with me." He grabed his wifes hand and dragged her out of the room and around the corner they peeked around the corner watching the baby intently, the boy looked at the lock for another minute and Uni got irritated "Mizo this is a waste of time " she started around the corner when the baby raised his hand and unlocked the playpen. Uni stopped in mid-stride and stared dumbfounded as the baby pushed open the gate and waddled out clutching his teddy bear, Uni and Mizo turned the corner back into the room and Mizo lifted the boy who giggled with joy "I told you Uni... Our Boy's a Genius!"

5 Years later "This is amazing" the annoucer exclaimed as Nazo moved the piece triumphantly exclaiming checkmate as he did, "The seven year old Boy who seemingly came from nowhere has just beat Itatski Jizano the Chess Champion of the Sand Village" While the Man sat and stared at the bored then at his notation not understanding the boy's amazing play he set traps that the man perfectly fell for, Nazo strolled up to the stage his mother and father cheering loudly and he bowed then turned to the announcer who had to hide his surprise though he didn't do it very well he picked up the trophy with the top missing and handed it to the boy who triumphantly raised it above his head Nazo once again was the best at what he did...


3 years later "And Mom you won't belive it i sat with these kids during lunch and they asked if i wanted to hang out after school and then we all played hide and seek and guess who won? " " hmmm Jas Handco ?" "mooooommm!!" " im just kidding good for you honey your father should be home any minute now." Nazo Ran to the window and egarly waited for his dad to get home...

3 years later Nazo proudly walked across the stage to his teacher who handed him his headband with a smile, as the head of his class Nazo also got a ninja pouch with a star on it it wasn't much but Nazo wore it proudly he then walked off stage and put on the jacket his father had bought for his birthday "and to think starting in the fall these young men and women will be defending our country" he overheard a parent say to his old teacher
"You couldn't be more correct sir" Nazo said in a hushed tone

1 year later Nazo's room looks as though a library exploded book scattered here and there all on proper ninja etiqute and stature the sleeping boy was egaer to begin his missions


Roleplay Sample :In the darkness of night, a sand shinobi could be seen walking through the seemingly endless sands of the desert. Little frigid wisps of wind picked up sand into little whirlwinds just before dying out and dropping the sand back onto the desert floor. The foot prints from the person were left behind him, but the little whirlwinds of sand created by the natural sands in the desert erased the evidence that he could have even walked through that part of the desert. He didn't care if he was followed though, he only wanted to get back to Sunagakure no Sato. The man looked squintingly at a large rock formation (at least it seemed to be a rock formation) many kilometers away from him. He could see some light escaping the top of it and light coming out of a large dug out crack in the middle of it. It was the Sand Village. 'It seems that I am finally home.'

The man started to sprint through the desert to the destination of Sunagakure no Sato. He was fairly fast for one not gifted in taijutsu, and while he ran a large stream of sand was kicked into the air behind him. In a few minutes he stopped just outside of the village enterance where there were many guards dug into the rock formation that surrounded the village, and protected it from enemy invaders and such to a certain degree, usually. 'There always seems to be a lot of guards at the enterance of Sunagakure no Sato. I know that it is usually a safety precaution. They usually ask you where you have been, and then they do background checks to see if it all checked out. It is all a pain, but really it is only just a safety precaution. I hope I just don't get a jerk at the enterance asking the questions.' He walked towards the gate and dissapeared with the sand...


THE ARSENAL.

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:


Spoiler:

Spoiler:

FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim:Nazo Natoki
Source:Bing Image
Image URL:http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=+Male+Anime+Ninja&view=detail&id=2C29CCB1655C669D512F96ABE9D4EFE4DA09BCE5&first=1


Last edited by TheRiddler on Tue 14 Aug 2012, 9:07 am; edited 8 times in total
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TheRiddler
TheRiddler

Age : 26
Posts : 20

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyThu 09 Aug 2012, 3:47 am

Bump
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Kiseki
Konoha Nin
Kiseki

Posts : 1216

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyFri 10 Aug 2012, 3:18 am

You need to fill out the url part of your face claim. You have a massive coding error in your app. Please fix that. Also you are allowed one special characteristic at C-rank when you start off. Also standing at 5'9 and weight 245 pounds makes you massively over weight. You might wanna fix that.
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TheRiddler
TheRiddler

Age : 26
Posts : 20

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyFri 10 Aug 2012, 9:36 am

is the massive coding error everything being bold?
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Kiseki
Konoha Nin
Kiseki

Posts : 1216

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyFri 10 Aug 2012, 10:55 am

Once more 195 pounds is still over weight for your age and height... and yes the coding error is everything in bold.
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TheRiddler
TheRiddler

Age : 26
Posts : 20

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptySun 12 Aug 2012, 8:37 am

Better?
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Kiseki
Konoha Nin
Kiseki

Posts : 1216

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptySun 12 Aug 2012, 8:50 am

Your application is also messed up. Your clan and origin aren't in their proper places. You also need to have an affiliation with the village your reside in. Origin is a country not a village as well. Add a bit more to personality and appearance since they are lacking, mostly personality.
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TheRiddler
TheRiddler

Age : 26
Posts : 20

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyMon 13 Aug 2012, 9:10 am

good?
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Kiseki
Konoha Nin
Kiseki

Posts : 1216

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyMon 13 Aug 2012, 9:50 am

Approval 1/2
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Enzo
Kumo Nin
Enzo

Age : 28
Posts : 1797

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyTue 14 Aug 2012, 7:03 am

Alright, only a few things with this application I have an issue with. First of all, your personality will need to be improved to be a decent two paragraphs. While this may seem like quite a lot, do keep in mind that there is plenty for you to write about. Ranging from what your character's hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc. are; to how your character speaks in public, how they act with their friends, how they act to their superiors, how they act in combat, etc. I realize some of this is already listed in your personality, but these are just examples, so I assume you catch my drift.

Second; you'll need to improve your combat style to a sizeable paragraph in length. Right now it's lacking in some detail, and the best way to explain what needs to be added is in the creation template guide itself:
Quote :
How does your character like to fight? Hit and run tactics, a fearless tank on the battlefield or do you lurk in the shadows and kill silently. There are many different tactics and here is where you can write a brief description of the combat style in which encapsulates your character. This in some regards can be seen as a characters 'Combat Nindō'. Include such things as your strengths/weaknesses, the range in which your character likes to fight, any martial or other styles they have learn't, and your 'trump card' or otherwise known as 'Signature Jutsu'.

Other than those two things, everything is fine. Just for the sake of nitpicking though, I would like to ask you to place your special characteristics in spoilers; and make your jutsu spoilers have headers (like Genjutsu, Ninjutsu, etc.). I noticed that they are already in the spoilers, but that still makes it a bit tedious to skim around.

EDIT: You're also allowed a Genin Kit (It's actually advised you get one).
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Kiseki
Konoha Nin
Kiseki

Posts : 1216

Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
PostSubject: Re: Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) EmptyWed 24 Oct 2012, 3:08 am

Archived due to inactivity
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Nazo "Enigma" Natoki (Done) Vide
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