Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval]

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BK-201
Kumo Nin
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PostSubject: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptyThu 06 Sep 2012, 3:33 am

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] 40117910

Takeshi Gouka

THE INFO.

Name: Takeshi Gouka
Nickname: G, Gou-chan to a select (annoying) few.
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Gouka is average to the point of being nearly bland. His hair, such a dark shade of brown that it's often mistaken for black, lies nearly flat along his head in messy, spiky locks. At it's longest, it is level with his nose and ears, never a centimeter more or less. Oddly enough, despite his apparent lack of care, his locks are always perfectly framed around his eyes, never, for even a second, directly obscuring his view. Despite the messy appearance, the hair itself always maintains a healthy sheen, bespeaking of careful and thorough washing.

Gouka's eyes are... Strange, for a lad his age. A dark, oceanic blue, his eyes bring to mind a deep sea abyss, a thousand years of secrets lost in their depths. The dark coloring makes his pupils nearly invisible, only a slightly darker patch betraying their presence. Despite their disinterested look, they are always attentive, never breaking eye-contact with whomever speaks to him, never failing to notice a slight twitch, a sudden spasm in a gust of wind. Stare long enough, and it becomes easy to believe he never blinks while someone is watching.

The face his eyes are set in is, for lack of a better word, plain. Thin lips, a small, slightly pointed nose, and thin black eyebrows betray little expression, save for the occasional sarcastic smirk, or a credulous arch to the brow. He has a narrow, but strong chin, without even the faintest trace of peach-fuzz to betray oncoming puberty. His skin is a pale peach colored, virtually unblemished. The only lines to mar his face are a crease in his brow when he cares to frown, a dimple on his right cheek when he has occasion to grin; though such grins rarely reach his eyes. Otherwise, his expression is generally carefully, tactfully blank.

Somewhat tall, Gouka stands at 5'11", weighing about 73 kilos. His build is slender, giving him a somewhat unaturally thin look for his height. Despite the deceptively thin look, it would be more precise to describe Gouka as "compact." His arms and legs are well toned, in a manner similar to a coiled spring. Even when he is relaxed, these springs always look coiled and ready to break loose. He has decent stamina, and is generally thought to be one of the fastest genin in his class.

Gouka's clothes are generally simple and efficient. When he is off-duty, or has a day off, he prefers civilian gear; simple white sneakers, a white, button up shirt with a single pocket in the from, and loose, comfortably fitting jeans. for the most part, however, he generally remains in mission gear; a thin, long sleeved black shirt, over which goes a harness he can attach a backpack to; thin, black cotton gloves, and a mechanism on each wrist, filled with coiled wire, to attach to his daggers; a utility belt, containing a pouch for smoke bombs and explosive tags, a few spare coils of wire, and a rappel rig. His pants are black, close-fitting but loose around the joints; a kunai pouch strapped to his right leg, black boots with thick, grounded rubber soles; and over it all, a black trench coat with loose sleeves, the tail reaching just past his knees.

Though few ever actually see it, when Gouka is without a shirt and his back is exposed, it is revealed to be a mass of scars. Peppered across his back are sprawling, roiling knots of skin, ranging from the usual peach-coloredness of his skin to slightly paler, to an angry red in the lower areas. Anyone with sufficient knowledge will realize that they are burn scars, intermixed with an apparent peppering of shrapnel scars. If pressed, Gouka will admit to no pain from the scars, only a tightness of the back when bending too far.

Forehead Protector: Though he generally prefers to keep his forehead protector stored in his kunai pouch, when duty or ceremony requires it, he wears it wrapped around his left bicep.

Personality:
There are many types of ninjas in the world. There is the genius, who's always miles ahead, always gains power with ease. There is the strategist, always three steps ahead, never without a plan. There's the maniac, a ruthless murderer who derives their greatest pleasure from killing. There is the leader, that one charismatic, skilled individual who can convince even the most cynically jaded fellow that the fight is worth fighting. There is even the idiot, the one who can't tell one end of the kunai from the other, who gets by on sheer luck and courage.

And then there's Takeshi Gouka.

Gouka is, in a word, "Impersonal." In several words he can be described as solitary, quiet, invisible, blunt, and honest. Despite being one of the highest ranking in his class, and reputably one of the fastest as well, in all his years at the academy he always remained an enigma, to class mates and instructors alike.

As said previously, the best word to describe Gouka is "impersonal." He is not the genius striving for power, not the strategist seeking knowledge, not a mad man looking to kill legally, not a leader striving for a dream, nor even an idiot looking to prove himself. Gouka feels no more passionate about being a ninja than if he had chosen to be a blacksmith, or a doctor. To him, it is simply a job, and one he intends to do skillfully and efficiently. Once upon a time, he might have felt differently, but such a time is long gone.

Throughout all his years in the academy, Gouka was always a quiet, solitary sort. He preferred to keep to himself, finding sustenance in training both his body and his mind. In all his time at the academy, the closest thing he had to a friend was the Nibi Jinchuuriki Hanzoku Kirima, who constantly pestered him in an attempt to get either a rise or a smile out of him. Not many make the connection between his speed and his constant escape attempts.

Being a ninja, Gouka can whole-fully understand the frequent necessity of subterfuge, seeing beneath the beneath, saying one thing and meaning another. He is even moderately skilled in doing so. That said, the act of it is annoying to him. It is always aggravating to him when he has to hold his tongue. On the whole, he prefers being able to speak bluntly and directly, cutting to the point instead of beating around the bush. To this end, it is very, very rare to hear him tell a lie.

Gouka has few things he truly enjoys, and a very small list of things that can make him truly passionate. He cannot tolerate loudmouths who feel the need to clog the air with the sound of their voice, and he especially hates when people actively lie to him. He considers trust to be a very precious thing, and does not give it lightly, nor take it lightly when someone expresses trust in him.

Another interesting aspect of Gouka's personality, though very subtle, is that he is paranoid. A peculiar type of paranoid. More polite descriptors call him skeptical. Less polite ones often wonder aloud why he hasn't resorted to wearing a tinfoil hat. He is very wary of trusting anyone or anything, and is very finely aware of the difference between "Impossible" and "Improbable." If an instructor proved to be a spy and dropped the disguise in preparation to slaughter the class, Gouka would be the first one throwing kunai. He will not believe an enemy is dead until he's seen the body his self, and personally removed its head. If someone told him the sky was blue, he'd still look up anyway just to make sure.

Likes:

  • Reading
  • Poetry
  • Weapons
  • Honesty
  • Training
  • The color black
  • Italian food
  • Music


Dislikes:

  • Snakes
  • The color yellow
  • Loudmouths
  • Snakes
  • Airheads
  • Being lied to
  • Snakes
  • Cats (More specifically, all the sharp ends)
  • Traitors
  • Betrayal in general
  • SNAKES
  • Fire


Clan: ---
Nindo: "Trust me, and I'll guard that trust with my life."

THE NINJA.

Origin: Kaminari no Kuni
Affiliation: Kumogakure.
Rank: C
Specialty:

  • First; Weaponry (Main Close, Sub Mid)
  • Second; Ninjutsu


Elemental Affinities:

  • Raiton
  • Suiton


Combat Style:
The most flattering description of Gouka's fighting style is "Combat Pragmatist." The least flattering is "Cheap!" Gouka is a practical fighter above all else, showing no hesitation to exploit a weakness, no compunction to "level the playing field" for his opponent, and certainly no shame for running away from a much stronger opponent if he can. He prefers to attack either from a distance or by surprise, other using his blades on their wires, or using the wires to silently drop down behind an opponent and equally silently strangle them. By no means, however, can he not hold is own at close range, or head on. He is fast, able to keep up with those one rank above him, and this speed lends itself to a kind of whip-cord strength, allowing him to hit hard. His trump card is his weapons, as he uses them for electrical conductors, often giving the enemy a shocking surprise.

Gouka's greatest weakness is long range, his stamina, and his flexibility. He has very few techniques effective beyond mid-range, and while he is fast, he only has average stamina, making it less draining for him to dodge rather than block, and inadvisable to try and overpower at close-range rather than use finesse. As a result of his burn scars, while he can manage most forms of movement fine, anything such as bending over or backwards far enough, while possible, causes sufficient pain to either hinder or distract him, though he will not hesitate if it's mild pain versus instant death. His greatest strength is his versatility and stoicness, being equally effective at close and mid-range, and letting very little ruffle him and cause him to act without thinking.

Special Characteristics:
Spoiler:

THE BACKGROUND.

History:
Spoiler:

Roleplay sample:
Spoiler:


Last edited by TLV1991 on Sun 09 Sep 2012, 4:18 pm; edited 12 times in total
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BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptyThu 06 Sep 2012, 3:34 am

Oh God this took longer than I care to think about. Here's hoping I did everything right. And my apologies to whatever poor sap has to read and approve this ten thousand (10000) word GENIN character profile.
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Kite
Kumo Nin
Kite

Age : 34
Posts : 1209

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptyFri 07 Sep 2012, 9:08 pm

So it took me a while to get through everything but it is a very nice profile and enjoyable to read so hats off to you good sir.

There aren't too many things I have issue with here so this should be a short process for you.

What you need to do is go to your specialties and add in the sub sections of your weaponry specialization. We have recently shifted to a new system that classifies all weapons into three broad categories based off ranges: long; mid; and short. Click me! <----Go here and find the Equipment and Weaponry section for a more detailed explanation. I would guess that you would probably want to go Close range as your main and Mid range as your sub, given your combat style and choice of weapon.

Also as for your kit, you don't need to list your daggers as part of your field kit as you are a weaponry user and thus you are allowed to carry up to 2 C rank weapons for your current rank (and since your father's daggers are 2 in number that is fine). Also the daggers are custom so they wouldn't be allowed to be used in the custom kit creation system as they are not on the list and are too high in rank to be comparable to anything on the list. So remove them from your kit, but keep them as your weapon of choice and fill in those 2 slots that will be left in your custom kit.

Quote :

Name: Fo-ji Nekki Jutsu: Forge Heat Technique
Rank: D
Type: Ninjustu
Range: Close (0m-5m)
Element: Katon
Description: Supplementary technique. The user can imbue an object with the heat of a forge fire, allowing for the equivalent effect of an actual forge. Takes time to heat the object, and has no effect on biological components, only effecting metal or stone. Allows for minor field repairs.
Chakra Cost: 3CP, 1 per post (Minimum 2 posts, 1 if used by those with a fire affinity)

Unfortunately you can't have this technique as your chakra affinities are Suiton and Raiton and thus you can't use Katon abilities.

Quote :
Name: Raikou Senkou Jutsu: Lightning Flash Technique
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Mid-range (5m-10m)
Element: Raiton
Description: The user gathers chakra into their hands, clapping them together to create a powerful flash and a loud boom, similar to a lightning strike. This technique is effective at blinding and disorientating opponents, though the nature of it completely removes the user's element of stealth, and sufficiently skilled shinobi can pinpoint the user by the thunder crash.
Chakra Cost: 3CP

If you could say how long the blindness or disorientation lasts, that would be great. Depending on how long these effects last I might ask that you upgrade it to a C rank.

Since your katon ability can't be used, I would urge you to find a new jutsu to replace that one. Other than these issues the profile looks good as a whole. Good job.

P.S.

While this isn't really an "issue" I just wanted to mention that Kirima is 15 years old currently while your character is listed as 13. Like I said, it's not much of an issue really but in terms of your RP interaction with her it might cause a bit of discrepancy if you two were supposed to be the same age (since she graduated at the age of 12 and thus according to her profile 3 years have passed since her days at the academy).
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Chris
Chris

Age : 28
Posts : 3145

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptyFri 07 Sep 2012, 9:26 pm

TOPKite wrote:

While this isn't really an "issue" I just wanted to mention that Kirima is 15 years old currently while your character is listed as 13. Like I said, it's not much of an issue really but in terms of your RP interaction with her it might cause a bit of discrepancy if you two were supposed to be the same age (since she graduated at the age of 12 and thus according to her profile 3 years have passed since her days at the academy).

Also, whilst the picture you're using is fine (I love Hei), it's inaccurate in regards to the fact that your character is only 13.

Example:
http://s3.hubimg.com/u/4041826_f496.jpg
http://i.thestar.com/images/8b/3a/dc360bdf4723a5625c29502b04d5.jpeg

I will suggest moving the age up to 16.

Also, does that Raiton (custom) technique have an effect on your character? If not, why not?
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BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySat 08 Sep 2012, 3:51 am

Edited. I removed the katon jutsu, added another custom Weapons jutsu in its place. Really, I only had it as sort of a finishing touch; make sense that a smith's son would like to learn a jutsu for repairing weapons.

Added more details to the effect of the Lightning Flash tech. Couldn't think of any reasonable excuse why not, so the lightning flash tech also affects the user unless precautions are taken.

Removed the Daggers from the kit, added two more explosive notes instead.

Altered character's age to 16 as suggested, with a slight change to the history corresponding to that. Minor, just altered the last section to read 4 years later, rather than 1.

Just to explain, the original intent was simply that there was only a brief overlap between Gouka and Kirima, ie his first couple of years in the academy were Kirima's last couple of years. But, the change in age resolves it into a more concurrent time frame.

As to why the interaction is there at all, well, MsMoney IS the reason I'm trying my hand at RPing at all.
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Kite
Kumo Nin
Kite

Age : 34
Posts : 1209

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySat 08 Sep 2012, 6:25 pm

I understand that the fire jutsu was more or less to play into the character's role of being the son of a blacksmith but the fact is that if you lack that element you aren't allowed to have jutsu from it. Your replacement weapon jutsu looks fine and so does everything else.

Approved: 1/2
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Enzo
Kumo Nin
Enzo

Age : 29
Posts : 1797

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySat 08 Sep 2012, 8:51 pm

You're not actually allowed to start with a custom kit. You must purchase one for 10EXP when you get the chance. As such, please replace your current kit with a basic Genin kit. You may register for a custom kit after doing a social topic or two.
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http://www.ultimateshinobi.darkbb.com/forum
BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySat 08 Sep 2012, 9:42 pm

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

... Fixed. Basic Genin kit.
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Chris
Chris

Age : 28
Posts : 3145

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySun 09 Sep 2012, 1:48 pm

Sairento Kosatsu: Silent Strangulation looks unfinished. You probably forgot to add the actual killing part at the end xD

Could please use the following template for Standard Issue Kunai Pouch and Wrist-attached Rappelers
Code:
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Rank:[/b]
[b]Type:[/b]
[b]Quantity:[/b]
[b]Description:[/b]

Otherwise, everything looks great.
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BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySun 09 Sep 2012, 4:18 pm

THE ARSENAL.

Equipment:

  • One (1) Genin Kit
  • Two (2) Father's Daggers (Detailed below)
  • Two (2) Wrist-attached rappellers


Details
Spoiler:

Jutsu
Academy Jutsu
Spoiler:

Raiton (Custom)
Spoiler:

Raiton (Open)
Spoiler:

Non-Elemental
Spoiler:

Weapon Jutsu (Custom)
Spoiler:

Weapon Jutsu (Open)
Spoiler:

Suiton (Custom)
Spoiler:

Suiton (Open)
Spoiler:

FACE CLAIM.
Character Claim: Hei
Source: Darker Than Black
Image URL:http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs36/f/2008/255/3/b/Darker_than_Black_by_kresnik02.jpg
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BK-201
Kumo Nin
BK-201

Posts : 1729

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySun 09 Sep 2012, 4:20 pm

Chris wrote:


Otherwise, everything looks great.

(╯°□°)╯︵ /(.□. \)

.... Removed kunai pouch, since I only had it for carrying the Kit in but I guess that's implied. Detailed the rapellers.

Look. Look what you've made me do. My application is too big to fit in one post. I had to split it down the middle.

Can I repost my application in a new topic? It looks messy, having one half of the application, several replies, and then the other half.
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Chris
Chris

Age : 28
Posts : 3145

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySun 09 Sep 2012, 5:23 pm

It's supposed to be two posts anyway to help (the staff) in the process of adding Jutsu, Equipment and other stuff Razz

But yush that's fine.
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Kiseki
Konoha Nin
Kiseki

Posts : 1216

Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] EmptySun 09 Sep 2012, 6:31 pm

Archived due to new topic being made
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Takeshi Gouka Kumo Genin [Done, awaiting approval] Vide
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