| | Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED | |
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Kantamaru Nara
Age : 30 Posts : 23
| Subject: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Wed 03 Oct 2012, 2:45 am | |
| Nara, KantamaruTHE INFO. Name: Nara, Kantamaru Nickname: Kanta Age: 15 Gender: Male Appearance: Unlike many of the Nara Clan Kantamaru doesnt always tie up his hair. He only ties his hair up during combat. He is about 5 foot four inches tall. His skin is pale. Not super pale but not dark. His hair is jet black and thin. His eyes are brown and he wears clothing typical for young Nara men. He has a hood along the back of his over shirt that he pops up and wears when he needs to think. It closes him off from everyone else. Allows him to think.
Kantamaru wears the usual Nara fishnet shirt and leggings underneath his clothing. It can be seen when his jacket is unzipped and it extends from underneath his pants a ways as well. The back of his shirt is adorned with the Nara crest. He is of an average build and is physically unimpressive. His hands are rough from the time spent working with his family. He has soft features making him seem warm and welcoming. When focusing or in combat his eyes get a cold look to them. Its enough to let his comrades and freinds know its time to leave him alone.
Forehead Protector: Kantamaru wears his forehead protector tied on head tilted to the left just a bit. That way the Konohagakure symbol is directly over his eye.
Personality: Kantamaru is a generally nice guy. He is quiet and patient with most people and situations. He is protective of his comrades and finds their saftey to be in his hands. He is a tactician and tries to keep them safe without putting his comrades in unnecesarry harm. He is always reading or studying something and is always training if he isnt doing that. He is willing to accept his comrades personalities and finds it imperitive to understand them at a deep level and always be there for them. Its necessary to be human and its necessary to perform as an effective team.
Kantamaru is also pretty empathetic and tries to read into his freinds' problems if one arises. He does the same with any combat situation as well. He reads into it and tries to understand whats going on. He is inquisitive and will ask questions whenever he doesnt know something. It is crucial that a leader and a tactician know everything and not knowing something in the planning phases is acceptable as long as you try to learn what you didnt know. He is detail oriented and tries to keep everything in balance. His attacks, his life, and his relationships. All of these must be in balance. If one is off something is altered and it probably will be to the detriment of the others.
Kantamaru hates anything that flies and stings. He has an absolute phobia of anything like a bee. He also rather dislikes the Aburame clan. Not that he thinks they are bad people just that they creep him out. They are insect users and he fears insects. He tries to be respectful to any Aburame he comes by. Perhaps overly respectful; he is always worried that they will use their insects on him or something of the like. Kantamaru also dislikes anyone who he believes is stupid. He would disrespect and back talk anyone he found to be lacking greatly in the intelectual department. He would talk back to the Hokage if he thought the Hokage was a moron. He also has a great dislike of anyone who is ignorant and feels no need to cure their ignorance. Kantamaru has a fear of failure as well. he cannot bare the thought of failure; failure can lead to the death of his freinds or his own. Kantamaru also cannot tolerate those who betray their freinds and because of this would never turn his back on a freind.
Kantamaru likes pork dumplings and can often be found eating them. They are his guilty pleasure. Nothing is better to him then a good steamed pork dumpling. After each mission or a hard day's training he will go and eat dumplings. In his free time he loves to eat these dumplings or hang out with his father or his freinds. When ever possible he likes to spar his freinds or whatch them spar eachother so if he ever leads them in battle he knows what they're capable of and how to best apply their skills and their personalites equally because every good tactician knows its not the weapon that's deadly, its the shinobi wielding it. He enjoys talking to his freinds and doing things that interest them, this way he can further learn who they are. You can't fight with someone you dont know.
In his free time Kantamaru can be found with his father and his freinds. His father is his mentor at the moment. His father trains him and teaches him everything he knows. Seeing as his father is his role model he influences just about everything Kantamaru does or thinks. Kantamaru recieved his ideas on strategy, freindship, and honor from his father and cherishes their words as part of his Nindo. He will watch his father train and practice just to pick up on anything that could help him in the long run. His father influences him indirectly and directly. Kantamaru's freinds are also important and influencial. Depending on how long he has known them their personalities and some personality traits rub off on him. They come out when he thinks about that person but it isn't enough to erase who he is completley ever. His bonds with his freinds and his father are strong and if they were to die in combat it would majorly effect him, espeacially if he was leading or on the mission they were when that person was killed.
Clan: Nara Nara Clan page Nindō: I will defend my comrades, act as the barrier between failure and success. To bare the weight of the success of the mission and the saftey of his friends.
THE NINJA. Origin: Hi no Kuni Affiliation: Konohagakure no Sato Rank: C Ranked Genin Specialties: Ninjutsu and Genjutsu Elemental Affinities: Suiton, Raiton Combat Style:Kantamaru is a support fighter. He will use his ninjutsu and genjutsu to help set up his comrades for combat. He fights more for the victory rather than the glory. He will engage from a distance and try to subdue his target to allow his comrades to do direct close range attacks or direct or indirect long/medium range attacks using Taijutsu, Kenjutsu, or Ninjutsu. He firmly believes in synchronizing attacks and jutsu as to put the enemy off balance and attack when they are open. One on one Kantamaru tries to keep the enemy at bay and ware them down. Once the enemy is tired he tries to bring his opponent down using Kage Mane and water style. He will also use Genjutsu to distract or disorient his opponent opening them for an attack. If at all possible Kantamaru will try to set up a trap and lure the enemy into it. If he can’t lure them into the trap he will fight from a position of concealment. He will use genjutsu to ware them down. Once they are tired he will attack with Suiton jutsu until he is close. Once close he will use the Kage Shibari jutsu to kill or knock out his opponent.
Special Characteristics:
Name: High IQ Type: Mental Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The ninja innately possesses a high IQ which gives them great practical and analytical prowess. They have vast knowledge in nearly all forms of combat giving them a upper hand when faced with nearly any attack with being able to execute split second counters. With their high IQ the user can determine weak spots in attacks and defenses and can overcome nearly any obstacle. Like the obvious benefits of being very smart, the ninja is well regarded for their great mathematical and thinking abilities.
Last edited by Kantamaru Nara on Sun 14 Oct 2012, 8:31 am; edited 9 times in total |
| | | Kantamaru Nara
Age : 30 Posts : 23
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Wed 03 Oct 2012, 7:59 am | |
| THE BACKGROUND. History: Kantamaru was born into the Nara Clan. His father was an established Jounin in the village who had taken on many missions. His mother was a civilian who tended to the many medicinal gardens and deer herds the Nara are known for keeping. She, like most Nara women was a stern mistress of the household with a hidden sweet side that few saw. He was raised to be a shinobi like his father. The Nara were desired for their prowess in battle, not in sheer strength or physical ability but for their minds. Kantamaru was challenged to shogi like most Nara boys from an early age to sharpen his mind. Kantamaru loved to be out in the woods with the deer all the time with his mother. He had a very basic knowledge of medicinal herbs growing up. He played with his clan mates often and they challenged eachother to word games, again to sharpen their minds. He loved resting in the shadows of the large oak trees while his mother tended the deer. He was content just resting and lounging around but his mother and father forced him train and enter the academy.
He entered the academy late due to a lack of available hands at the time in the forests tending the deer and herbs. This was fine with him, it was easy, important work. He was granted late entrance into the Academy because of this. The only stipulation was that he recieve training so he would be even with the other students. When he entered he was already familiar with all of the jutsu they taught them. He swiftly mastered them and began his training on the Kagemane Jutsu that was passed down through his family. He mastered it quickly for his age. By the end of his first year in the Academy he had mastered all of the jutsu the academy had to offer. So for the rest of his time at the academy he was able to focus on the Kage Mane technique and the lessons they had at the academy. He graduated top of his class at the Academy. Not that it was truly impressive. He was older and more skilled then his peers. It truly wasnt impressive.
Again his family needed more hands to attend to the forest. They appealed to the Hokage to allow him to wait a year before becoming a Genin. The Hokage allowed it. He worked two years with his family in the forest attending to the deer and the herbs. In everymoment of his free time he learned jutsu and the Kage Shibari jutsu. His Father traded him knowledge of battle and how to work wit a team and how best to aid your comrades. He was taught that a Nara's best position was in the rear coordinating attacks for his other squadmates. At the end of his two years helping his family he had a littany of new skills and a firm understanding of strategy. He was ready then to become a Genin. The Hokage issued him his headband and he was incorporated into the Konohagakure shinobi force. This is where Kantamaru's story starts.
Last edited by Kantamaru Nara on Thu 11 Oct 2012, 12:23 am; edited 3 times in total |
| | | Kantamaru Nara
Age : 30 Posts : 23
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Sat 06 Oct 2012, 4:08 pm | |
| Roleplay Sample: (This Roleplay came from another site Im on, this is my work and it was the roleplay sample I used.) Shiribasara wandered the snow drifts as usual. He looked over everything and studied it carefully. Something didnt seem right. There was a village near hear that he bought supplies from. It was usually loud due to an abundance of trade but today it was silent. On the wind he could smell smoke. He ran quickly to the top of the next snow drift and observed. There, down below in the village, was a band of raiders comprised of shinobi attacking and pillaging. "Now that doesn't work for me." Said Shiribasara as he hefted the Ken no Yuki out of its place on his back. He formed a hand seal and the snow below him shifted. It turned into solid ice. It was a razor thin, razor sharp, super condensed disk of chakra infused ice that he would ride down into the village. He willed it to move forward. The disc moved ontop of the snow effortlessly. It picked up speed and he entered the village. He channelled his chakra through the blade and it glowed for one second and then froze over making it very sharp.He lept off the disc and kicked it at the neck of one of the missing ninja. It smoothly glided through his neck decapitating him. Whilst in the air he picked his next target. The only other viable option was the ninja to his right. He came down with a powerful swing severing the arm of that shinobi. He spun around and the blade bit deep into the man's ribs. Shiribasara dropped the sword and flew through several handseals. He breathed in deeply and unleashed a torrent of water at another using the Mizurappa jutsu. Due to the cold temperature the water froze seconds after impact holding the man there. Shiribasara undid the bandage around his right arm revealing the summoning tattoo. He touched it and a kunai appeared in his hand. The remaining four shinobi gathered in a semicircle around him. Shiribasara chuckled to himself. "Do you all know who I am? I am Shiribasara no Sanbi! Moujuu! The one who shifts the snows! Six of you will be no problem for me." He throws the kunai half heartedly at the shinboi in the middle who flinches in horror. "Oh come on, really? I could kill you with so much more." He sits down and folds his arms. Three of the men rushed him. He formed a single handsign. "Ice creation technique" Spikes of ice shot up all around him as they charged him. "No, no, take your lumps!" Said shiribasara as they began to run away from him. Hyouton is formidable and its hard to fight in conditions like this. He threw up his hand and the snow followed. He threw up another and a wall of snow behind them emerged. He twitched a finger and a column of snow spiraled around another and eleveated him above the walls of sknow. "I will leave one of you alive. Once Im far enough away my chakra will drain out of this snow and eventually place you on your own feet." He clapped his hand together and the two walls of snow collided. A pillar of snow came up underneath Shiribasara as he pulled himself towards the lone shinobi. "Let them know this is what happens when you anger Shiribasara no Sanbi. Let them know that Shiribasara no Yuki did this. That the snow runs deep with the blood of your comrades. That is the only reason you are alive." He promptly tunred around and left. His work was done.
THE ARSENAL. Jutsu, Weaponry, Items etc. Jutsu: Academy Jutsu: [quote]
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Genjutsu - Spoiler:
Name: Ha no Tatsumaki - Leaf Tornado Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Range: Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m) Element: - Description: Ha no Tatsumaki is a genjutsu technique. By making eye contact with the opponent, the user is able to cast the illusion of a tornado of green oak tree leaves surrounding their target. The fake tornado is built with a metre radius around the opponent and also reaches up to the sky, giving it a real effect. The technique is commonly used to distract an opponent so the user can follow up with an attack or flee the scene. If the opponent were to touch the leaves, they would be able to walk out with ease and cancel the illusion without being harmed.
Name: Shinrin Gādian Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Range: Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m) Element: - Description: Shinrin Gādian is a genjutsu technique. After performing the required handseals and direct eye contact has been made with the user, they will be able to create three average - sized male lions that are made up of leaves. The illusionary lions will appear by walking from behind the user, each one having a mane made up from more leaves. They are able to run up and attack the users opponent, but once bodily contact has been made by the lions, they will simply fade away like normal clones. An advantage to these fake lions is that if attacks are thrown at them, they will always be able to dodge by avoiding the attacks or having the leaves form gaps so something such as a kunai doesn't touch them. They are used for distraction purposes and possibly for the opponent to flee the scene. Chakra Cost: 6 [2]
Name: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu - Mist Servant Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: - Description: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that creates up to 5 false attackers to delay and confuse the enemy. Though these servants are not real, the actual ninja is able to remain hidden and throw kunai and shuriken matching the movements of the servants. This makes it appear the false servants are capable of attacking. When the enemy attempts to attack the servant, they will merely disrupt the servants illusion body but not destroy it. If these clones leave 5m radius of the caster, they will disappear. Chakra Cost: 4 (1 per post)
Kit Name: Genin Kit Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
Ninjutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Burēdo no Ha - Blades of Leaves Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0 - 5m) Element: - Description: Burēdo no Ha is a ninjutsu technique utilizing leaves. By using the leaves that are scattered across the ground in the surrounding five metre radius, the user is able to lift ten leaves by using chakra alone and launch them at their opponent. If contact is made, the intended target will suffer from small scratches that the leaves have to offer. The technique will only be able to lift ten leaves at a time, it's also not strong enough to kill, only to scratch the flesh to the point of blood being drawn. Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder Rank: C-A Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Raiton (Lightning) Description: This technique allows the user to create a wave of electricity from their hands. The user can vary its power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock. Chakra Cost: C (5), B (10), A (20)
Name: Kagemane no Jutsu | Shadow Imitation Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Clan: Nara Description: Kage Mane no Jutsu is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Nara clan. It's original purpose was as a skill to help delay any pursuers. After forming the needed hand seals, the clan member is able to manipulate their shadow along any surface. They may use other nearby shadows to further extend the reach of their shadow, however they are limited to the surface area of the original cast shadow (They may not exceed an additional 15m of shadow this way). Once the clan members shadow reaches the target shadow, it will attach itself. While attached the target will be frozen, only able to replicate in mirror form the actions of the clan member. If the clan member is low on chakra, the Kage Mane will falter and the shadow will return to its normal form. The time of day should be carefully noted by those using this technique. If the sun is setting, the shadow will naturally be bigger, and thus able to hit the maximum range. If the sun is halfway across the sky, than the shadow will be much smaller, and incapable of reaching even the 5m limit. Additionally, if the struck member exerts 14CP of chakra (Whether it be physical force or some other In Character method), they may reject the shadow binding and free themselves. Though free, it does not prevent the user from catching them in this jutsu again. Chakra Cost: 7CP (2 per post)
Name: Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu | Shadow Neck Bind Technique Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Clan: Nara Description: Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Nara clan. Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique developed by the Nara clan. To perform the technique the clan member will first bind their target using the Kage Mane no Jutsu technique. Once the target can no longer move, they form the needed hand seal to initiate this technique. The clan member uses their shadow to form a hand which will creep up their opponents body to their neck. Once the hand reaches the neck, it will constrict in such a manner so as to strangle the opponent. Opponents may break this technique by exerting 7CP after the strangling process. In addition, this technique cancels the Kagemane no Jutsu as well. Chakra Cost: 7CP (Additional 2CP Per Post)
Name: Daibakuryuu no Jutsu - Great Exploding Current Technique Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Suiton (Water) Description: In order to use this technique, the user must first be on top of water (lake, sea, etc). Then, after preforming the needed hand seals a vortex of water will form, sucking anything on the surface above it down to the depths below. This can possibly drown the opponent. Chakra Cost: 6 (1 per post)
Name: Water Release: Water Drowning Technique Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Suiton (Water) Description: The ninja first does a string of hand seals, which causes a column of water to rise from a nearby water source. It can be guided to strike a target in a number of angles. Chakra Cost: 5 (1 per post)
Name: Kokuun no Jutsu - Black Clouds Technique Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Suiton (Water) Description: This jutsu creates a flammable black mist that forms a small cloud. The user can then move the cloud above their target and disperse it, covering the target in flammable oil. Chakra Cost: 5
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Shikamaru Nara Source: Photobucket? Image URL: https://i.servimg.com/u/f34/17/84/58/07/images11.jpg
Last edited by Kantamaru Nara on Thu 11 Oct 2012, 12:25 am; edited 3 times in total |
| | | Kantamaru Nara
Age : 30 Posts : 23
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Wed 10 Oct 2012, 6:43 am | |
| Completion Bump!
|
| | | Kantamaru Nara
Age : 30 Posts : 23
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Thu 11 Oct 2012, 1:50 am | |
| Editing Bump: Added more information to my appearance and personality. |
| | | Enzo
Age : 28 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Sun 14 Oct 2012, 6:30 am | |
| Welcome to US! Sorry for the delay, and I apologize for the length of my critiques. It's not as bad as it appears. - First off, I suggest running your app through google docs or microsoft word. There weren't a lot, but a noticeable amount of spelling and grammar mistakes throughout the passage. Most notably your spelling of the word "inteligent".
- Second; More of a suggestion than a requirement; I propose adding a bit more detail to your appearance and personality. Specifically the personality; since this is quite literally the soul of your character. The more interesting you make your character's personality, the more fun it becomes to RP with that character. Try to include things like; what makes him mad, sad, happy. What he's interested in, things he enjoys spending his free time doing, who he hangs out with and how they influence him. How he speaks to those above him, below him, his peers, etc. There are many things you can throw into a personality to spice things up. Not everyone has to be a good guy
- Nitpick: Origin should be the country, not the village. Thus, it should say "Fire Country" or "Hi no Kuni" as opposed to the "Leaf Village" or "Konohagakure".
- Please expand your combat style to be a sizable paragraph in length. It should include all of the following:
- Creation Guide wrote:
- How does your character like to fight? Hit and run tactics, a fearless tank on the battlefield or do you lurk in the shadows and kill silently. There are many different tactics and here is where you can write a brief description of the combat style in which encapsulates your character. This in some regards can be seen as a characters 'Combat Nindō'. Include such things as your strengths/weaknesses, the range in which your character likes to fight, any martial or other styles they have learn't, and your 'trump card' or otherwise known as 'Signature Jutsu'.
- Next up, your Nara Intelligence. Besides the fact that intelligence is misspelled, this ability is unique to the Nara. You don't need a special characteristic for it. Nara have such skills from the getgo. If you wish to have a similar IQ based technique, feel free to grab the "High IQ" Special Characteristic for your character.
- Code:
-
[b]Name:[/b] High IQ [b]Rank:[/b] C [b]Type:[/b] Mental Based [b]Physical Requirements:[/b] N/A [b]Training Requirements:[/b] A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. [b]Description:[/b] The ninja innately possesses a high IQ which gives them great practical and analytical prowess. They have vast knowledge in nearly all forms of combat giving them a upper hand when faced with nearly any attack with being able to execute split second counters. With their high IQ the user can determine weak spots in attacks and defenses and can overcome nearly any obstacle. Like the obvious benefits of being very smart, the ninja is well regarded for their great mathematical and thinking abilities. - Your history could do with some improvement. Try to add some more things that may have happened in his life. Ask yourself questions from your character's personality like "Why is he so loyal?" and "Why does he wish to protect others?" If you can manage to answer those questions, then you should have no problem expanding on the history. Try to throw in some drama as well. Things such as relationships with other people and a deeper backstory are always appreciated. It helps to have a character with some depth.
- Nitpick: There seems to be a misplaced quote tag in your Arsenal. Also, would you mind placing the Kit beneath the Ninjutsu and/or put it in spoilers (preferably named Equipment or something similar).
- Last bit is the "Character Claim" part of your face claim. It's incorrectly filled out (or rather, inaccurately). It should be the name of the character your face claim is. As in, if your image is Ichigo from the show Bleach, then you would put "Ichigo (Bleach)". Try googling where your image came from, to figure out who it is a picture of. I can tell you it's definitely not Shikimaru Nara.
That is all for now.~ |
| | | Kantamaru Nara
Age : 30 Posts : 23
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Mon 15 Oct 2012, 1:53 am | |
| Ok, I have addressed or have at least began to address all of the things you have asked me to do. The only thing Im not sure about is finding my face claim. I know its not shikamaru, I mean, thats quite clear from the picture. It is simply I dont remember where I found the picture and I cant find it again. When I looked for it I found the picture but when I clicked the link on google it brought me to my character profile lol. So, that was of no help so I dont know where to go from there. Any Ideas? |
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Tue 16 Oct 2012, 3:02 am | |
| Funny how 10 minutes of searching can yield so much information.
Your picture is of a character named Shin and he's from a Graphic Novel Series known as Amnesia.
Click here for series info
Here's another picture of your character. Notice the eyes, hair, and collar. Exact same as yours. |
| | | Kantamaru Nara
Age : 30 Posts : 23
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Tue 16 Oct 2012, 3:37 am | |
| THANK YOU TOPKITE! I had searched for hours before hand searching. Thank you so much! |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Sun 21 Oct 2012, 4:42 am | |
| Hey there ! ^^ So I have a few pointers for you to go through and if there are problems or anything of the like then feel free to pm me or post here. I know also that Enzo had already mentioned some of the things I have mentioned, but I don't feel like you have edited well enough.
- Appearance: There should be a more detailed description here. It barely reaches 200 words, but I would want to see at least 200 more. Why I am asking for something more is because you have a clan that you can be proud to rp with, and as such require a bit more effort into your account creation.
- Typos.
- Quote :
- When focusing or in combat his eyes get a cold look to them. Its enough to let his comrades and freinds know its time to leave him alone.
- Quote :
- Personality: Kantamaru is a generally nice guy. He is quiet and patient with most people and situations. He is protective of his comrades and finds their saftey to be in his hands. He is a tactician and tries to keep them safe without putting his comrades in unnecesarry harm. He is always reading or studying something and is always training if he isnt doing that. He is willing to accept his comrades personalities and finds it imperitive to understand them at a deep level and always be there for them. Its necessary to be human and its necessary to perform as an effective team.
I am spotting quite a few typos all over your profile (and then more than just those I quoted and underlined now). Please read through your profile and correct at least the most frequent ones. If you are uncertain how to fix some of the words, then use a spell check. You can also feel free to pm me and I can help you out if you want. Or post here and ask, of course.
It's fine to have occasional typos, as I think most of us do, but it's good to start re-reading what you post as to practice before the rp-ing starts.
- Just a note, it's good to remember when you are posting (just from what I saw from the rp sample) to separate paragraphs. It makes it a little easier to read. Nothing really that I'm saying you have to edit here, just something to think about.
- After the Academy Jutsu in the Arsenal, there appears to be a broken code.
- You have yet to edit your FC according to the information from Top.
If you are still working on this app and have yet to finish editing some of the things, then my apologies ^^ Just some pointers you can have then in mind. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED Tue 20 Nov 2012, 2:30 pm | |
| Archived due to user's inactivity. |
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| Subject: Re: Nara, Kantamaru(Konohagakure Genin) FINISHED | |
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