Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Littner, Kamina [Hokage]

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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 5:23 am

Fixed everything, I think.
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₡amisado
₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 5:28 am

Well for starters, my comments on the weapon or your specialties haven't been addressed and the template still needs to be fixed on a majority of your jutsu.
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 5:38 am

Minus those lol
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 5:55 am

Strike that, haven't fixed electricity yet.
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₡amisado
₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 10:39 pm

Z wrote:
Riptide: Well, to start, its S-rank and you have kenjutsu as a sub (which needs to be changed to weaponry and edited to swords and whatever other type.). The profession blade abilities need a chakra cost. For the assassins blade, how long is the paralysis to the opponents limb? For Boxer's Blade, the number of hits it takes to cause sever damage should be lowered considering that the sword can break other weapons in one hit and effectively kill an opponent in another.

Kakuremino no Jutsu [Self Hiding Technique]: I don't see this as a jutsu at all, considering that the level of camouflage would entirely depend on the cloak used, not the jutsu.

Koe no Mozouhin [Voice Imitation]: This technique is rather vague and I don't like it. How would this go past a normal humans ability to make a sound if it doesn't use chakra? Is it cannon?

Tomegane no Jutsu [Telescope Technique]: We've all seen the hokage do this, but did he ever look outside of the village with this jutsu? Even if he did he would of needed a way to detect where things were in order to pin point this location to make this jutsu useful.

Hateshiganairyuu [Eternal Dragon]: Making things this large of of pure chakra would be either Zane's or Senkou's clan trait, not a normal ninjas.

Put the jutsu in the correct template, your jutsu don't have a "Type"

Hassei [Speaking]: This is a trait of the Kaiku clan, please remove.

Sonikku Himei [Sonic Scream]: This is a trait of the Musami clan, please remove.

Netsushi [Thermal Vision] (Doujutsu): Quite frankly, I don't see how this is possible by "focusing chakra to their eyes.". This would be more eijutsu then anything else.

Washihishou no Jutsu [Eagle Flight Technique]: Eijutsu, please remove.

Anshi [Night Vision]: See Thermal Vision.

Kebari Senbon [Thousand Hair Needles] Flesh it out a bit so it at least reaches the description minimum.

Kemuri Shiryoku no Jutsu [Fire Release: Smoke Sight Technique]: See Thermal Vision

Kesu [Extinguish]: How does chakra extinguish fire?

Boukaheki no Jutsu [Fire Release: Fire Wall Technique: By low I assume you mean D or C rank, but assumptions aren't a very good thing for this. Please state the level of suiton jutsu able to be evaporated.

Housenka no Jutsu [Fire Release: Mythical Fire Flower Technique]: Housenka?

Kasai no Kakuchou [Flame Release: Fire Extension] Fiery* and how large is the silhouette?

Ryuusei Sutoraiku [Meteor Strike]: Its kinda hard to light a boulder on fire without a catalyst right? o.o

Enen no Sonata [Fire Release: Blazing Sonata]: This is more of a style then a jutsu, also, this has no duration attached to it.

Hoheki [Fire Release: Flame Wall]: Don't you already have a flame wall jutsu?

Honoo Sude [Fire Release: Blazing Hands]: Duration.

Karyuu Endan [Flame Release: Fire Wall Attack]: By huge, what size are we talking about (Put it in the jutsu).

Yougan Fi-rudo no Sousaku [Fire Release: Lava Field Creation]: Lava is banned, remember? =P

Katon No jutsu (Art of Fire Technique): This doesn't make sense to me the way its worded, so some re wording would help.

Some of these things have been addressed but not resolved, but you got most of it Razz

btw, were those S-rank jutsu there before or did I miss them? >.<
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 11:15 pm

Kept self hiding, since it's canon, It's the hiding technique that Konohamaru always failed at.

Fixed Flame wall

By coating a fuel in chakra, the fire can't access the fuel, succesfully extinguishing the fire.

I have yet to go through and add the type field, though I don't see why it's necessary, they're literally ALL ninjutsu.
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Uchiha Osore
Uchiha Osore

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 11:34 pm

Because its part of the template, its about doing things as they're supposed to be done, especially when a Kage application is supposed to serve as an example, it should be prim and proper in all aspects.
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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 11:50 pm

アメカPattycakesンムリ wrote:
Kept self hiding, since it's canon, It's the hiding technique that Konohamaru always failed at.

Fixed Flame wall

By coating a fuel in chakra, the fire can't access the fuel, succesfully extinguishing the fire.

I have yet to go through and add the type field, though I don't see why it's necessary, they're literally ALL ninjutsu.

If Konohamaru failed at it, do you have evidence of it ever working? I see it as a gag jutsu.

I'll check it off

What if the fuel isn't reachable?
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Pattycakes
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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyWed 14 Apr 2010, 11:56 pm

Yeah, Naruto used it correctly a few times

Chakra has the ability to penetrate solid objects..like chakra scalpel, which can perform incisions... But, if the fuel isn't reachable, how is the fire going to burn it?
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₡amisado
₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 12:03 am

What manga chapter and page? I'll need to see this.

Katon jutsu, and fire isn't a solid object
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 12:04 am

It's one of the earlier ones, I dunno if I can find it. I don't know why it's so unbelievable though... seems like a pretty simple concept to grasp.

And yes, Fire isn't solid. So obviously, it cannot penetrate something that is solid.
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₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 12:08 am

Invisibility isn't a very simple concept to grasp, especially a jutsu that I wouldn't even call a jutsu. Its more of an action and like I said, it would all depend on the cloth used. Either way I think its just a gag jutsu that is useless in every sense.

Chakra isn't exactly solid either, its an energy.
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 12:24 am

However, Chakra has shown many times an ability to phase. Regardless of this, it's simply covering the fuel. Lets say it's a log. A thin layer of chakra covers the log, preventing it from being burned, because the chakra isn't combustible, and it's in the way of the log being burned. Simple.

Not all jutsu's are super crazy chakra drainers, a few are simple techniques. Like Rope Untying, for instance.
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₡amisado
₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 12:35 am

How do you intend to get close enough without burning yourself and once again, what about airborne fire projectiles?

That invisible cloak jutsu is only used by Naruto 'correctly' in the Anime, there is no instance of the jutsu besides Konohamaru in the manga. Therefore I stand by what I said about it being a gag like jutsu.
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Pattycakes
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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 5:35 am

It's not like it's perfect concealment, up close, you'd be able to tell in an instant. But from a distance, it'd be decent. Besides, I wouldn't mind a gag technique xP

Chakra projection, I don't have to touch it... Airborne fire projectiles would obviously circumvent the jutsu's effectiveness.
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₡amisado
₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyThu 15 Apr 2010, 2:11 pm

Just remove the completely invisible part and that should be fine.

Please put that it the jutsu.
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptySat 17 Apr 2010, 5:52 am

Should be good =D
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyMon 19 Apr 2010, 9:26 pm

Bump >.>
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CYANIDE CANDY
CYANIDE CANDY

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyMon 19 Apr 2010, 10:59 pm

Quote :
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza - Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: A variation on the Kinobori no Waza (Act of Tree Climbing), the art of water surface walking allows a ninja to walk on water as if it was a solid surface. Focusing an even amount of chakra out of the soles of their feet, they can balance themselves on the very surface of the water

Name: Kinobori no Waza - Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: E
Type: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: Kinobori no Waza, the art of tree climbing serves a dual purpose. Taking part in Kinobori Shugyou (Tree Climbing Training) helps a ninja learn how to focus their chakra. It also teaches the ninja how to run up trees and walk on vertical walls. The training helps the ninja learn how to focus just the right amount of chakra to a particular part of their body. The amount needed to climb is small but it must be precise. The feet are regarded as the hardest location to master chakra focusing. So by gaining the art of this skill, the ninja will have any jutsu available (theoretically) because they will be able to focus their chakra as needed

Name: Explosion Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user will activate an explosion tag. Normally, the tag will be placed by them, so they know where it is and can easily activate it.

Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu - Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: A very basic technique that allows a ninja to escape from rope binds.

Name: Kai - Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: Kai is a Ninjutsu technique which allows the ninja to avoid the effects of a Genjutsu illusion. After forming the needed handseals, the Genjutsu technique will not affect the ninja. The ninja can also use the technique on another individual who was unable to avoid the attack. After forming the needed hand seals, the ninja touches the one affected to end the affect of the spell.

Name: Shunshin no Jutsu - Body Flicker Technique
Rank: D
Element: N/A
Description: Shunshin no Jutsu is a basic Ninjutsu technique. The ninja will appear and disappear in an instant, allowing them to retreat or attack suddenly. To facilitate the movement the ninja will often use nearby elements such as mist, sand or leaves to mask their appearance or disappearance.

Pat, you can't have your Hokage not know these jutsu! How could you miss such basic techniques?! TEEHEE
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyMon 19 Apr 2010, 11:09 pm

Love you Lauren!!! =D
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₡amisado
₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyMon 19 Apr 2010, 11:57 pm

Still no news on Riptide

Same with Voice Imitation



Thats all from me, once those things are taken care of you'll need to finish up with Hage
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Uchiha Osore
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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyTue 20 Apr 2010, 12:06 am

You'll have a post here by tomorrow at 5, I'm out till sometime after 4, I'll take my study halls at school and work on it since thats when I usually do some of the more intensive or demanding work. Plus I lack the ingredients for coffee which should be remedied by then...it better be...
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyTue 20 Apr 2010, 12:07 am

I don't remember being unable to have S of both Main and Sub....


anyways, fixed.
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₡amisado
₡amisado

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyTue 20 Apr 2010, 12:16 am

I'm pretty sure that Main goes to S and Sub can only go to A. (Riptide is still labeled S-Rank)
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 EmptyTue 20 Apr 2010, 12:24 am

Get confirmation, I'm positive that you're allowed S of both (or else Genin could have only C main, D sub, chuunin B main, C Sub, etc...)
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Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Vide
PostSubject: Re: Littner, Kamina [Hokage] Littner, Kamina [Hokage] - Page 2 Empty

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