Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Shiro - [Kiri Genin]

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Shiro
Shiro

Posts : 363

Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptySun 20 Jan 2013, 2:39 pm

Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro_zpsf17b585a

Shiro

THE INFO.



Name: Shiro
Nickname: Not yet classified
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Appearance: A tall youth standing at about five foot ten, your typical somehow Asian Caucasian, a male with long silver hair. Front bangs featured with his hair pulled back into a long tail, arcing down to his waist and yet somehow never managing to be an issue in combat. A thin, lean-muscled, but sturdy and straight-postured. A pair emerald green eyes, often covered by the bronze visor used to shield his eyes during combat, leer at others, often times a pretty young lady. The Kirigakure headband is worn in its traditional location, guarding his forehead as per its purpose. A pair of small, diamond-shaped silver earrings adorn his ears, ornate and stylish in purpose. Thin-faced with an angled chin, he typically wears a soft scowl or amused smirk upon his face. Typically has a relaxed if challenging expression about him, one that doesn't mind laxity but prefers starting up trouble.

Predisposition-ed to wear dark clothing, black a natural choice for a Shinobi in his opinion and a habit of one brought up with the intent of becoming a shadow of the mist. He wears a black fishnet hybrid shirt, adorned with silver. Provides suitable cover from cold without causing overheating in warmer environment. Equipped hood and pockets galore. Long black leather gloves cover his hands, providing protection from the weather without affecting his ability to handle weapons or inscribe seals during combat. Unlikely to stop a sharp blade or shield himself from jutsus, but adept for one typically geared towards discreet and sensitive work. Black khaki pants fits snugly around his legs, providing a variety of places to slip tools, weapons, and any other small object of value. A silver belt is worn around his waist, three medium-sized scrolls hanging from it, ready for use. A fourth scroll hangs on the inside of his shirt, hidden from view. A long blade lays sheathed upon his back, ready for use. Black combat boots compliment his outfit, giving him the look of a practical and prepared young man ready for operations and experienced with them. During his off time, he typically wears T-shirts and shorts, also typically of the darker spectrum. Occasionally he might try his hand at richer, finer clothes when missions will allow it, but is far more comfortable with his traditional shinobi garb. Several tattoos cover his body, typically hidden beneath his attire. A black lotus flower covers the left side of the lower half of his neck, a frolicking fox bounds just above his waist upon his back, and the kanji for "Shadow" lay inscribed upon his breast, over his heart.
Forehead Protector: Worn in the usual area



Personality: Experienced. Cocky. Witty. Sharp-Tongued.
Exactly the sort of young man you all know and hate. Shiro is the sort of individual you hate being on a Team with, and love fantasizing about one day getting a chance to slaughter. Born and raised in the Shinobi way, Shiro has lived his life expecting death at every turn, knowing failure may mean his last day. Well aware of how things work in the so lovingly named Village hidden in the Bloody Mist. Not once has it ever been hidden from him the fact that power was what mattered in the village, and that shinobi were weapons. Having accepted these facts, Shiro decided that best thing to do was to enjoy the ride. If he was going to be a weapon, he might as well enjoy the perks that ninja skills brought with them. As such, his personality is a complex one, and an obnoxious one. Quick to complain, quicker to play the smartass, and never failing to make light of horrors and evils of the world, Shiro has a surprisingly positive attitude, if annoying one, for someone who lived in the world of Kirigakure. With a tendency to be a might bit too lax for his superiors and too eager to indulge himself in his personal pursuits, his attitude has led to some conflicts during his time as a Genin. While undeniably a skilled and rising ninja, he...Just didn't quite mesh with Kiri's current power structure. One jibe too many, one good deed too late, Shiro simply hasn't been all that fortunate in his time spent striving to rise within the village. Despite his upraising gearing him to the duties of shinobi, Shiro simply doesn't quite have the drive to achieve that others do.

Despite this, Shiro is a relatively popular individual, both in terms of the number of friends he has but also in the number of enemies he's made. Quick to antagonize the volatile and eager the crush the feeble-minded, his poor social habits and blunt straightforwardness making him a difficult individual to get past, particularly for those without thick-skins. Nonetheless, his name has somewhat of renown, or notoriety rather, around the village. In terms of battle prowess, his psyche is acceptable for the most part, if perhaps too eager to goad and play with his targets. The youth has noted fondness for the other sex, although his luck tends to have him ending far less successful than his missions. Nonetheless, the boy hasn't seemed to have been affected by his constant unending series of rejections by the women of the village, so clearly, his ego had some steel layers to it. The boy has a habit of letting his mind get away from him, a deep thinker despite his talkative nature. There's a certain chaoticness to his thoughts, a wandering daydreamer of sorts, as if the world was becoming boring so he needed to spice up his fantasies in order to survive it.

His hobbies include hitting on women, stalking those women, meeting those women in court to discuss restraining orders, drawing, amateur poetry, picking fights with half-drunk men at bars, woodcarving, Swordsmanship, competitions, karaoke, gambling, and karaoke. He dabbles in a bit of every thing, however, quick to try new things. Nonetheless, while his career's path has been somewhat shaky of late, Shiro appears to have a clear dedication to his training, at least in the respect to the Ninja Way. While he has rarely mentions his dedications or moral motivations, the young man does hold a sober side in respect to his aspirations, unclear though they may be. One would imagine bringing out such a side more often would make for a more respectable Shinobi, but achieving such a thing, to be perfectly honest, seems like a near impossible venture. Nonetheless, the cocky and eager young man does have some sense in his skull, however much he does enjoys pretending otherwise. His mission completion rate and performance at the very least, if his reluctance to go on missions is ignored, are very much worth noting, showing him to be the sort counted on to finish what he starts. He is the sort who rarely gives up achieving what he sets up to do, a noble quality in a ninja. Nonetheless, further study as to whether or not this young man is worthy of advancement will have to be made. Future notes will be added soon.



Clan: None known. Raised in a Military Orphanage
Nindō: Never bind your self to one way because another demands you to

THE NINJA.

Origin: Land of Water
Affiliation: Kirigakure
Rank: Genin
Specialties: Weaponry (Primary Medium, Secondary Long) - Sealing
Elemental Affinities: Unknown
Combat Style: A distance fighter, who specializes in maintaining safe attack distance from opponent and utilizing a variety of weapons and tricks to best his foe. Utilizes traditional ninja skills with a combination of ingenuity and precision to overwhelm his opponent. Is known to use a variety of sealing techniques to carry an arsenal of weaponry and adapt quickly and efficiently to the scenarios he is face with. The young man has a depth of experience on the field, but has lacked the proper opportunity to see to his advancement. Is known to be a patient individual who prefers to stretch out a battle in order to try every trick in his book and learn his opponent's weaknesses. Stealth, coordination, and positioning have all been shown to have been utilized well according to reports. He ha shown himself perfectly willing to kill, although not without mercy, particularly when it serves his ends. Easily distracted by women, particularly those who know how to pull just the right strings in battle to make him lose his guard. Can be somewhat oblivious to those outside of the immediate fight, be they allies or enemies.



Special Characteristics
Stealth
Spoiler:



THE BACKGROUND

History: *Born Sixteen Years ago. Date unknown. Birthdate elected to be the day he accepted into the Military funded Orphanage

*Fifteen Years ago. Given the classification "Shiro", and designated worth not disposing of and instead raising as a Shinobi Prospect

*Twelve Years ago. Basic Shinobi training begins, Shiro being one among sixteen prospective children of similar age demographic gathered by Mist operatives in order to strengthen village power.

*Ten Years ago. Five out of the sixteen of group D Shiro belonged to have expired. Eleven remain, including Shiro. Basic chakra testing begins. Group seems to be bonding, due to the deaths and difficult trials.

*Eight Years Ago. Eleven still remain. Their unity has created a group mentality, which promotes survival, but fails to achieve desired individual potential increases. Elimination methods being considered.

*Nine Years Ago. Ten remain now. The one slain has been blamed upon individual Shiro, as desired. The Group now has begun its first stages of paranoia and fracturing. Individual Shiro is expected to fall next, due to lack of support and recent dependency on allies.

*Seven Years six months ago much to our surprise, the group has fractured, but into two tight-knit groups now. Shiro is now leader of one, with three members including himself, while the other seven are another, although there is some looseness. Political sabotage and dealings are found to becoming more and more common.

*Seven Years four months. A complete reversal after the last examinations. The majority group's failure while Shiro's groups success due to his ingenuity has led to three of the members to leave the main group and join Shiro's, making his the current majority.

*Six Years ago. The former majority is no more. Six remain, all Shiro's. The conflict was settled last night by assassination. They are beginning to learn what it means to be Shinobi. Promoting long conflict settles nothing, only wasting resources. Individual Shinobi are better fit to end conflicts quickly. The outcast pariah is now the leader. I doubt it will last.

*Five years, Seven months. Five now. They blame Shiro again, though not openly. Popularity sways with the wind. Another wants to overthrow him. Shiro willing stepped down. He could not win without support. Still. Surrender is surprising. Perhaps he fears he'll not wake up one morning, as the others they killed did not. An interesting dilemma.

*Five Years Six Months. We've told them the truth- Only three will be allowed to become Shinobi. The rest will go the streets. The current leader has claimed a spot, naturally, but the other four are squabbling. The leader cannot decide and still keep his power. Disposal is eminent. It all depends on who breaks trust first. Shiro watches from the shadows, never putting his name forward. A patient boy. I've grown to like him. How shall he surprise us...

*Five Years Five Months. Just one more month. Tension is high. One boy got into an...Accident. He can no longer be a Ninja. Fingers are raised, but most don't mind. Less to fight over. I want to say Shiro did it, but it seems too premature to say. No, I don't want to force him to answer. We'll wait. I want to see how this unfolds. Yes. Whomever survives this will deserve to be put forward as Kiri Genins.

*Five Years four months. It all comes together. Shiro promised two boys he would vote for them to be chosen...If they killed each other. He told each one this without the other knowing. One struck the other, crippling him. And then he told another girl to kill the one who maimed the first, and he'd vote for her. So there were four. At this point it was easy for Shiro to put forth the notion for he and two of the remaining four to kill the "Leader". The three were willing to kill him to survive. And so I happily accept them as Shinobi.

*Three years ago. The boy is officially a Genin. It has taken some time. The Council never does much like our offerings, but they cannot deny our programs' success. We've bred wonderful ninjas for the Bloody Mist. Time has shown them these are not farm boys but warriors, assassins, and ninjas. Shiro will do well, I think. He was the best of the group from D, although not the one with the most potential from the batches. Still. None quite manipulated the others quite as well as he did. I will continue following his progress.

*1 Year ago. The boy disappoints me. For all his control over the others, for all his success, for all his potential and my faith he'd do well...He bores me now. His career has grown stale. He kills still, he serves, but there is no passion in him. The need for survival bred a fire in him. Now there is only ash. I will continue monitoring him, but I have no grand hopes. There are more children to prepare, more ninjas for the Mizukage. For for the land of Water. If this one is doomed to failure, oh well. There are more. There are always more.



Roleplay Sample: "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?" The door would snap open as he was flung outside of the bar, the young man landing upon the ground. The bouncer would dust off his hands, looking down at the pitiful young man. "Jeezus kid...Not even drunk. Christ. Leave them girls alone for a night will ya?" His hand shot up from the ground, the youth pulling himself up. "Denied. One of these days, one of these days Maki, those ladies are gonna realized what they're missing." The bounce would grunt a laugh. "You're right. One day they'll think of buying Mace. G'night Shiro. Now get the hell out of here." The door would slam behind the bouncer as he returned inside the bar, Shiro grumbling to himself. The young silver-haired shinobi would raise his visor above his headband, shaking his head. "What the hell's the point in being an all powerful Mist Ninja if you can't get laid?" Honestly. This village Islands didn't know how to respect a goddamn Shinobi these days. Almost made he wish there would be a Civil War. Then he could fucking cut the throat of some these asses. "...Oh well. Sensei probably didn't want me being out all night anyway." He'd run his fingers down his scalp, scratching as he walked through the village square, wincing as he cracked his neck. "Bouncer throws too hard." He murmured softly, bitching sort of a hobby of his. Shame they forgot to put it on his personality resume. It was kinda a big deal. "Alright, alright...I know you're out there listening to me right now." He called, raising his hands. Damn performance review. Couldn't he get a break anymore.

"And look. I know, I know, it hasn't been all that great of late. But hey? Give a guy some slack?" The kunai that smacked his forehead protector told him no. "...Stingy bastards..." Well. He didn't care if they mouthed out to the Council that he had sixteen restraining orders on him in eight different countries. It just meant he was a serious worker. Just not concerning his career, that's all. He'd get bored of walking and would leap onto a building, beginning to roof soar across the small village. He did wonder what every back home was going to do with him. Even his current Sensei had already asked for a transfer. It wasn't like he was some trouble child causing trouble, he just...Dabbled. In other stuff. Who needed to be on time? Who cared about a few wallet thefts? Who gave a damn if he framed another Genin for attempted rape? "What's important about a Ninja isn't his reputation. Its his skills and how far he'll go. And his ability to command." Shiro told himself, nodding to his own sage wisdom. The boy was smart. Or so he told himself. He'd stop at a roof to gaze up at the moon. It wasn't full yet. He decided it was anyway, even if it wasn't until tomorrow. He liked to think of himself being under a full moon. The sun didn't do all that much for him. It shined like some arrogant hot air-filled demigod, it made sneaking into girls apartments harder, and it made him sweat in stealth gear. But the moon? Well, it had something special about it. A certain...Wonder. It didn't bother working hard enough to shine like the sun. It just stole some of its light and gained its own brilliance. The moon was the ultimate thief. It managed to steal light from the sun. "Heh. Sounds like some children's story...Maybe my mother told me it." Who knows? Maybe he wasn't some prostitutes child sold to the military orphanage. Perhaps Shiro once had a mother willing to tell him tall tales about the gods of the sky. Or maybe Shiro just really needed to get laid one of these nights.

A flashing light that was in the no way the suns told him that the team was going to get going. Shiro would sigh, staring into the darkness where their camp was. "Mist ninjas these days have no sense of deviation these days. Have a little fun. Sheesh." Well, Shiro wasn't going to catch up moping around about moons and whores. Taking a deep breath, he'd tighten his headband and slide down that visor of his. He'd reach up to feel the smooth steel of his blade's handle, the sword he'd grown to trust far more than his temporary sensei. "Well, if the world just ain't ready to worship me yet..." Shiro concluded, the silver-haired youth smirking at the darkness. "Than lets go let them know I'm here." The young man would laugh triumphantly into the air as he soared off the building into the shadows, off to kill some local politicians in opposition to the Mizukage's recent monarch government. A little bloodshed and a bit of suffering would improve his mood. It always did.



THE ARSENAL.

Academy Techniques
Spoiler:

Senkouken - The Flash-Blade Arts
Spoiler:

General Weaponry
Spoiler:

Fuuinjutsu - Sealing Techniques
Spoiler:

Equipment
Worn on back
Spoiler:

On Face
Spoiler:

Ninja Kits
Spoiler:

Medium Scrolls
Quote :
Name: Medium Scroll
Rank: C
Type: Supplementary
Quantity: -
Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre.
Medium Scroll 1's contents
Spoiler:

Medium Scroll 2's contents
Spoiler:

Medium Scroll 3's contents
Spoiler:

Medium Scroll 4's contents
Spoiler:



FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim: Unknown
Source: My Album
Image URL: https://2img.net/h/i144.photobucket.com/albums/r196/KARJ_2006/Shiro_zpsf17b585a.png


Last edited by Shiro on Thu 14 Feb 2013, 4:30 am; edited 53 times in total
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Shiro
Shiro

Posts : 363

Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptySun 20 Jan 2013, 8:47 pm

I impress myself. I really do. DONE
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Emperor of Rock
Konoha Nin
Emperor of Rock

Age : 32
Posts : 869

Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptySun 20 Jan 2013, 10:59 pm

  • Right now the appearance isn't long enough, and fro what I see, I know you can do better. Make it two paragraphs, and don't just split what you have in two.

  • Quote :
    Shiro is the sort of you hate being on a Team with, and love fantasizing one day getting a chance to slaughter.
    This doesn't make any sense. I do get what you meant, but the wording is all wrong. You have similar mistakes all over your application, go over it and edit it accordingly. I suggest using Word.

  • Origin is from which country you are. In your case that would be Mizu no Kuni

  • Are you sure that you don't want to have any elements? You are free to do as you choose though, but I'm still asking if you're sure.

  • Quote :
    The young man has Chunin level experience
    No you don't. You're a genin and you have genin experience. Remove it.

  • The whole history needs to be in third person, unless you are making a dialogue. If that's the case, put the dialogue in "Like this".

  • Quote :
    Name: Shunpo [Flash Step]
    Denied. Twice the sprinting speed? And it's D rank? No. Lower it by a LOT, 10% for the D rank. Also, how far can you run with the jutsu?

  • Quote :
    Name: Danmaku [Barrage]
    How fast can you slice? How many slices? Explain it better. Also how long does it last?

  • Quote :
    Name: Batto [Draw]
    If you want to cut through steel with this technique than rank it C-A

  • Quote :
    Name: Kitai [Anticipation]
    How exactly do you quicken the speed of neural messages? Also, this would be a C rank.

  • Quote :
    Name: Senka [Senka]
    This is B rank.

  • Quote :
    Name: Tsubame Gaeshi
    [Swallow Reversal]
    Again, B rank.

  • Quote :
    Name: Hirameki [Flicker]
    Optical illusions are genjutsu, therefore it's denied.

  • Quote :
    Name: Ayatsuru [String Pull]
    Denied. Channelling chakra through a weapon is always B ranked or higher.

  • Quote :
    Name: Jouro Senbon [Sprinkling Needles]
    The same jutsu like this exists in encyclopedia.
    Code:
    [b]Name:[/b] Senbon Shower
    [b]Rank:[/b] C
    [b]Type:[/b] Weaponry
    [b]Range:[/b] Mid (5m - 10m)
    [b]Element:[/b] N/A
    [b]Description:[/b] After throwing a special umbrella that has been equipped with springs into the air, it will release a hailing "shower" of senbon. It cannot be dodged by moving away since the needles cover a wide area in all directions, controlled by chakra. While numerous, the senbon can be easily deflected or blocked and are only capable of inflicting minor cuts and puncture wounds.
    [b]Chakra Cost:[/b] 8

  • Quote :
    Name: Juudenki [Charger]
    Rank it from C-S and put the exact amount of chakra that you can transfer with each rank.

  • Quote :
    Name: Marunomi [Swallow Whole]
    Denied. Simply because this jutsu makes you completely immune to any type of poison. No matter what rank it is, it's simply denied. Also, to be able to have poison, you need to have either Medical or Puppetry.

  • Quote :
    Name: Bakuhira [Explosion Palm]
    This one would blow you and your opponent up and deal serious damage both to you and your opponent.
    Spoiler:

  • Quote :
    Name: Hakushiro [White Castle]
    A B rank jutsu would completely brake it and it would hit you. Also put the exact number of how many C ranked jutsus can it withstand.

  • Quote :
    Name: Mahifuuin - [Paralysis Seal]
    At this state the jutsu is just too powerful for just a C rank. Remove it.

  • Use the right template for scrolls that can be found HERE and remove the Large scroll, that's B rank.

  • Quote :
    Name:Slicing Wires
    Chakra conductive weapons are B ranked or higher.Remove it.




Phew, this would be it for now.
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Shiro
Shiro

Posts : 363

Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptySun 20 Jan 2013, 11:27 pm

I've written just as much for appearance as other Kiri Genins that have been approved. I'm not a Chunin, I'm not a Jounin, and frankly, its all in the bloody picture. No, I don't have a single thing I can think of at the moment to write for appearance. I gave you more than this for my last profile and you still wanted more, even though NOW I'm writing the same amount as others who've been approved x.x Appearance isn't my strong suit damn it. ; ;

Yeeeaaaah. Writing without sleep can do things to ya.

Poorly worded. Rather, his experience is one worthy of being awarded Chunin is what I wanna say.

For my previous profile, I ASKED you guys what speed increases would be appropriate for a D-rank Technique. You didn't give me a straight answer. I gave you double. You didn't care. Some consistency please?

You want specifics but you don't tell me what kind of specifics. You say D-ranks should increase speed by 10%? Okay. why don't you tell me how many slashes and how far. I try to keep things vague so they're fair. I don't know the sites averages. I try and compare to the canon stuff you've got. And half of that isn't specific. So. Please. Tell ME what the numbers should be.

Barrage would last the duration of the turn. Its not something you can maintain. Otherwise I'd have the maintain cost visible.

I don't like doing that. It doesn't make sense to me for a simple technique. Plus the varying chakra cost is awkward. If you get stronger, you're not necessarily wasting more energy punching someone. If you've got A-ranked strength characteristic for example, its kind of a duh to be able to do stuff like that with normal attacks, let alone jutsu attacks. Normal ninja using a jutsu versus Tsunade using a jutsu. She has more strength. Attacks naturally are dependent on the user. And no. Its drawing a sword out of a sheath. Its not a complex attack. D-rank makes perfect sense for it. Its drawing the sword. Out of the sheath. With ninja chakra added in. It isn't slicing buildings in half. Real Ninja Samurai can cut through wood. Real Ninja Samurai can cut through steel and stone...If you've got super duper strength Razz

Concentration. Mind over matter. And why exactly would it be C-rank to focus yourself?

Explain reasoning for the techniques being B-ranks, please. Be specific Razz

I figured Hiremeki would be iffy. Although I disagree on that basis. All genjutsus are illusions, but not all illusions are genjutsu. Taken off though. Not much fond of it.

Ah. Missed it. I was looking for the japanese name. And if I can use Chakra to make Umbrella's fly and shoot senbons, why exactly can't I use chakra to manipulate wires, hmm? Its not chakra coating them and enhancing, its manipulating. Simple ability. Ten Ten does it Twin Rising Dragon to a massive degree. (Which, is probably C or Bish I would think. But the weapons aren't particularly special.) You also have a C-rank canon jutsu that let people move nails through the ground with their chakra then dive up at people. Why can't I manipulate wires? It seems like the easier of the two.

I refuse to to go with the C-S to variation x.x I'd rather simply have the C-rank with a limited amount of conversion per use, thank you. Lemme know how much you'd like it to be.

I didn't plan on having Poison. But, explain something to me. I can have techniques that absorb elemental ninjutsus and seal them in scrolls, then release them at people later. Why exactly can't I have a technique that absorbs poison out of the air in front of me? I'm not immune to poison. I still have to perform hand seals. If I've already inhaled it, it doesn't get it out of my body. Not all poisons are gases. Any wind jutsu user could blow a cloud of poison away, so why can't I seal it away? I'd be happy not be able to release it again safely.

Thanks for the vote confidence concerning my ability to survive a B-rank jutsu x.x Cus auto-kills are totally proper and approved of, and lets not forget that, hey, momentum doesn't slow at aaaaaallll when it hits a solid surface. 2 C-ranks. That's it. Hence my meaning when I said "Multiple".

Oooooor you could help me tone it down, and not just go "Deny". Mods on this site should really work more to make things into a workable form, not just tear them apart and say get rid of it ^.^ What would be an acceptable C-rank Seal that immobilized the enemy in some way?

Oh. And I get a little passionate when discussing Jutsus. Don't take it personally. o.o I know I can be difficult


Last edited by Shiro on Mon 21 Jan 2013, 12:03 am; edited 8 times in total
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Setsugekka
Setsugekka

Age : 28
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptySun 20 Jan 2013, 11:39 pm

I'm stepping in for Ivan for a brief second.

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to create a character here.

But I'd also like to remind you that not only is Ivan a creation trainee, he's just a helper. We're all helpers here and we'd appreciate 100% cooperation so that we can get you accepted as quickly as possible. Every trainee and moderator grades differently and expects different things; therefore, we don't have set requirements in stone for things like appearance. If Ivan believes you need more appearance, please amend.

It's fine to have an unorthodox writing style. It's not okay for that writing style to make your language incoherent and difficult to read. While you do show proficiency in language, often many things you write confuses me. ^^;

Chunnin experience isn't well defined. What makes him have the experience of a Chunnin? Because unless he's gone through the chunnin exams and has gone through the requirements of a Chunnin, the he doesn't have it - simple. It's one thing to have your character be a "prodigy" or very intelligent and then claim he has the experience of an entire rank above him.

Forgive me if I come off as rude, but.. please do not tell us what you're going to do. It isn't tolerated on the forum. Let me re-iterate that all staff are helpers; we're helping you get a character accepted. (: We're trained and skilled to know how our main admin wants something on the forum. If we ask you to fix something, then please do it.

The condescending, overtly critical, defensive, and rebellious tone is not appreciated. We are really looking forward to having your character accepted and this can be easily done if you fix the changes Ivan has asked for.

For any more questions or concerns regarding what I've written, you may feel free to contact our site admins: Adam, Uros[Enzo], and Darius[Cookie Monster].
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Shiro
Shiro

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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptySun 20 Jan 2013, 11:51 pm

Realized my tone was off. In fact, since I've posted, I've regretted it and have (If you might notice) been editing my post to soften it. Like I edited above, I get heated. Used to it. Ahem...

Okay -Deep breath- . I'm going to be telling you guys what I think you should be doing. Its why Adam wants me around. You'll have to ask him to have me stop personally afraid. Razz And I will tell you what I'm going to do. I am, for example, going to inform you when I will be fighting for something. However, I can be significantly nicer about how I go at it. Apologies. I haven't slept. Shiro is a lil cranky :3
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Emperor of Rock
Konoha Nin
Emperor of Rock

Age : 32
Posts : 869

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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyMon 21 Jan 2013, 12:08 am

Quote :
I've written just as much for appearance as other Kiri Genins that have been approved. I'm not a Chunin, I'm not a Jounin, and frankly, its all in the bloody picture. No, I don't have a single thing I can think of at the moment to write for appearance. I gave you more than this for my last profile and you still wanted more, even though NOW I'm writing the same amount as others who've been approved x.x Appearance isn't my strong suit damn it.

All I'm asking is 200 words more. It's not that hard, and I know I may be strict, but that's what I expect, 2 solid paragraphs.

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I take offense at that. I have an irregular writing style, yes, but that sentence makes perfect. You hate being on Team with Shiro and you fantasizing killing him. How is that not clear?

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Shiro is the sort of you hate being on a Team with
Sort of what?

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and love fantasizing one day getting a chance to slaughter.
Slaughter who? Him? Me? Them?

See what I mean? I'm sorry if I offended you, and I too am not perfect while writing, but at least I'm trying to train my writing skills, and so should you.

Quote :
Why? There are Chunins younger than him. Why would it be wrong to claim Chunin level experience? I can certainly change the wording, but experience isn't power, not that rank really determines that in canon.
Because you aren't chunnin. If you had chunnin level experience you would be a chunnin. You are starting as a genin, you didn't do any mission as one nor did you do any topic at all as a genin. You are a newly promote genin, and therefore you have genin level experience.

Quote :
For my previous profile, I ASKED you guys what speed increases would be appropriate for a D-rank Technique. You didn't give me a straight answer. I gave you double. You didn't care. Some consistency please?
You do have the answer for that. If you would look at the speed SC it says that it gives you 20% boost in speed for C rank.

Quote :
You want specifics but you don't tell me what kind of specifics. You say D-ranks should increase speed by 10%? Okay. YOU tell me how many slashes and how far. Don't demand specifics of me when I've asked you guys exactly these questions. I Don't. Know. Its vague. Its supposed to be. There's also sort of canon stuff you guys don't bother to nail down to numbers, forgive me for trying to follow the flow.
Well don't make it vague. Right now it's just you putting chakra in your arms and slashing through whatever. You give me the numbers and I will say if it's acceptable or not.

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Barrage would last the duration of the turn. Its not something you can maintain.
Put that in the description.

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I don't like doing that. It doesn't make sense to me for a simple technique. Plus the chakra cost thing is awkward. If you've got A-ranked strength characteristic for example, its kind of a duh to be able to do stuff like that with normal attacks, let alone jutsu attacks. Normal ninja using a jutsu versus Tsunade using a jutsu. She has more strength. Attacks naturally are dependent on the user. And no. Its drawing a sword out of a sheath. Its not a complex attack. D-rank makes perfect sense for it. Its drawing the sword. Out of the sheath. With ninja chakra added in. It isn't slicing buildings in half.
But you are slicing metal with it, not something everybody can do. And no D rank doesn't make any sense.

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Concentration. Mind over matter. And why exactly would it be C-rank to focus yourself?
Because if you focus on the D rank level of concentration, everybody from C rank up that have weaponry or taijutsu can overcome you easily.

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Explain reasoning for the techniques being B-ranks, please. Be specific Razz
Simple, it's two jutsus in one.


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Ah. Missed it. I was looking for the japanese name. And if I can use Chakra to make Umbrella's fly and shoot senbons, why exactly can't I use chakra to manipulate wires, hmm? Its not chakra coating them and enhancing, its manipulating. Simple ability. Ten Ten does it Twin Rising Dragon to a massive degree. (Which, is probably C or Bish I would think. But the weapons aren't particularly special.) You also have a C-rank canon jutsu that let people move nails through the ground with their chakra. Why can't I manipulate wires?
You have to understand, cannon stuff from the manga and anime doesn't count here. The nails aren't manipulated at the extent you are trying to manipulate the wire. They are just placed underground and later shot towards the opponent. That's it. You on the other hand can manipulate the wire as you please.

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I refuse to to go with the C-S to variation x.x I'd rather simply have the C-rank with a limited amount of conversion per use, thank you. Lemme know how much you'd like it to be.
Go look at the Draining Chakra jutsu in the encyclopedia

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I didn't plan on having Poison. But, explain something to me. I can have techniques that absorb elemental ninjutsus and seal them in scrolls, then release them at people later. Why exactly can't I have a technique that absorbs poison out of the air in front of me? I'm not immune to poison. I still have to perform hand seals. If I've already inhaled it, it doesn't get it out of my body. Not all poisons are gases Any wind jutsu user could blow a cloud of poison away, so why can't I seal it away? I'd be happy not be able to release it again safely.
Ok, after talking with other moderators I agree to approve the poison sealing. You can seal only one poison per seal, you will need to exhale the one you already have if you want to seal another poison, there is a high chance that you might accidentally swallow the poison while exhaling and you will need to rank it from D-S because you won't be able to seal an S ranked poison with just a D ranked jutsu.

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Thanks for the vote confidence concerning my ability to survive a B-rank jutsu x.x Cus auto-kills are totally proper and approved of, and lets not forget that, hey, momentum doesn't slow at aaaaaallll when it hits a solid surface. 2 C-ranks. That's it. Hence my meaning when I said "Multiple".
Sorry, worded myself wrong there. What I meant is that the B rank jutsu will break through easily and it won't slow down too much.

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Oooooor you could help me tone it down, and not just go "Deny". Mods on this site should really work more to make things into a workable form, not just tear them apart and say get rid of it ^.^ What would be an acceptable C-rank Seal that immobilized the enemy in some way?
There is none. There is already a jutsu like the one you have, and it's B rank.

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Shiro
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyMon 21 Jan 2013, 12:09 am

Yeeeaaah, this is the downside of my bad habit. I've edited all of my paragraph and you've answered my bad post xD Stupid, stupid, stupid Shiro...
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyMon 21 Jan 2013, 1:25 am

Ooookay...Getting past that horrid post session, ahem...

Chunin thing removed completely.

I've noticed my typos, removed a lot of them. Point out any more if you'd like. Can't help you if my writing is too screwy for you though, lol.

Jutsus are not SCs. Adam has expressedly told me that. They are two different things, one not necessarily superior to the other from what I can tell. I try not to cross the streams. o.o'

After a long talk with Enzo specifically on chakra manipulation...I'ma just be happy with what I have :3 Wire Jutsu removed...For nows...Hehehe.

I'm looking at it. I don't know what you're saying. If it costs me ten chakra, should they get nine? Or are just saying ten transfer? Or Nine?

Two jutsus in one? Is that applied to both? And if so...Well...The fact that they involve multiple blows isn't exactly stopping you from being good with Barrage. So...Elaborate? They involve multiple motions, but in the case of Senka, its a spin that may strike twice, and for Tsubame, the first attack isn't even the real technique. Mad

Talked with Enzo. He said a "Weight" based seal that makes the body feel heavier where the seal is placed, hence slowing movements, would be acceptable as a C-rank. Thoughts?

Completely understandable that a C-rank wouldn't stop a B-rank much. I just don't like thought of it all ending because I was daydreaming when someone shot a B fireball at me while I wasn't looking Razz

Why exactly should more deadly poisons be harder to seal, exactly? They're not made of chakra, so why exactly should they be harder to seal? Do low level wind jutsus also fail to blow away high level poisons?
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyMon 21 Jan 2013, 2:04 am

Appearance is still short though... Make it 400 all and that will be it. Right now it's at 275 words.

Quote :
Chunin thing removed completely.
Okay

Quote :
Jutsus are not SCs. Adam has expressedly told me that. They are two different things, one not necessarily superior to the other from what I can tell. I try not to cross the streams. o.o'
But yours was definitely superior. Double the sprinting speed would be 200% faster by my calculations and that is 100% faster than normal, and that was D rank. Speed SC was C rank and I made you faster for only 20%. That's why I had problems with it

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After a long talk with Enzo specifically on chakra manipulation...I'ma just be happy with what I have :3 Wire Jutsu removed...For nows...Hehehe.
Okay.

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I'm looking at it. I don't know what you're saying. If it costs me ten chakra, should they get nine? Or are just saying ten transfer? Or Nine?
Costs you 10 and you transfer 10.

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Two jutsus in one? Is that applied to both? And if so...Well...The fact that they involve multiple blows isn't exactly stopping you from being good with Barrage. So...Elaborate? They involve multiple motions, but in the case of Senka, its a spin that may strike twice, and for Tsubame, the first attack isn't even the real technique. Mad
Sorry, I derped badly in this one. I though those two were C rank not D. Keep them as they are.

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Talked with Enzo. He said a "Weight" based seal that makes the body feel heavier where the seal is placed, hence slowing movements, would be acceptable as a C-rank. Thoughts?
If you explain it good, than I see no problem with it.

Quote :
Why exactly should more deadly poisons be harder to seal, exactly? They're not made of chakra, so why exactly should they be harder to seal? Do low level wind jutsus also fail to blow away high level poisons?
Sealing something that is far beyond your rank is a no go. Some believe that this jutsu is OP and it should be denied. I'm giving you a chance to explain the jutsu better and get it to a state where it can be approved. The decision is final. Either edit it accordingly or it will be denied. Also, sucking the poison gas into your mouth isn't a smart thing because no matter how strong it is, some of the poison is bound to get inside you and poison you.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 22 Jan 2013, 2:19 pm

It will be short for a while. Don't expect that to change soon.

SCs are constant and static- Jutsus are temporary and cost chakra. Thus, it doesn't seem out of ordinary that the temporary boost which requires energy spent to be bigger. To me, anyway.

For the Weight Seal, simple enough. Contact=Seal applied, the body feels heavier on the location where the seal is placed, thus, requiring more effort to move that part of the body. How much of a weight increase felt is up to you. 20 Lbs for example.

There's nothing to explain about the seal. You know how it works. Nothing compex. As to the absurdity of sealing poison into a mark on your tongue...

Lets not forget

Where in a universe where the deadliness of poison apparently gives chakra resistance

Ninjas perform painfully obvious and named techniques before they use them

Every human being has incredible endurance, agility, and strength

And people seal giant mind-warping monsters into children~
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 22 Jan 2013, 3:32 pm

Quote :
SCs are constant and static- Jutsus are temporary and cost chakra. Thus, it doesn't seem out of ordinary that the temporary boost which requires energy spent to be bigger. To me, anyway.
However, that jutsu is a D rank, academy student rank, if you want a higher speed than bump the rank. But don't expect to get double the speed on C rank, for an A rank yes, C rank, no.

Quote :
For the Weight Seal, simple enough. Contact=Seal applied, the body feels heavier on the location where the seal is placed, thus, requiring more effort to move that part of the body. How much of a weight increase felt is up to you. 20 Lbs for example.
Make the jutsu and we'll talk. As for the weight, yeah, I find it acceptable.

Quote :
There's nothing to explain about the seal. You know how it works. Nothing compex. As to the absurdity of sealing poison into a mark on your tongue...

Lets not forget

Where in a universe where the deadliness of poison apparently gives chakra resistance

Ninjas perform painfully obvious and named techniques before they use them

Every human being has incredible endurance, agility, and strength

And people seal giant mind-warping monsters into children~

That universe doesn't apply here. If it did, we would have ninjas that could destroy villages with a finger. I said it once, I will say it again, you can seal poisons equivalent of your rank, if the poison is a higher rank than yours, than you can't seal it, it's simple as that.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 22 Jan 2013, 3:56 pm

E-rank is Academy level, friend. Hence why the majority of free "Academy" techniques you gain for free are E-rank. D-rank is Genin level jutsu friend.
Quote :
• D-rank: The second lowest rank of jutsu. These type of techniques are frequent partakers in a genin’s arsenal. Techniques of this rank usually do a small amount of damage or slightly less than average aid, so don’t expect a bone-breaking attack or ultimate health boost. Weapons and equipment of this rank are basic and have very little special attributes; nothing chakra conductive however. An example of a D-ranked technique would be Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Technique).


I'm not talking about the Canon Universe, Ivan. I'm talking about this site o.o All of those absurdities are present here xD Its anime-based RP, realism isn't exactly or practicality isn't exactly a concern Razz So, yesh, I think swallowing poison via a seal is very realistic compared what some people get away with Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 22 Jan 2013, 5:57 pm

Look, it's easy for me to outright deny this seal because it's too powerful for a D rank but I'm willing to give you a chance to edit it. The sooner you edit it or remove it, the sooner you get to be approved. Your choice.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 6:08 am

Whew, finally settled back into college. ^.^

Anyway, as long as your decisions are based on the knowledge that D-ranks are Genin level techniques, and not academy students.

Why exactly is the seal too powerful as a D-rank when you're saying jutsus can't seal anything higher than their rank? The ability to seal large heavy objects, dozens of projectiles, and even ninjutsus is described as an E-rank technique. Why is sealing gases, particularly if limited to D-rank poisons, considered too powerful exactly for a D-rank technique?

I can't seem to find the post now, but you mentioned something concerning Explosive Palm, something along the lines of saying it would harm me? The jutsu releases the explosion in a directed fashion, similar I imagine as one would release say a fireball from a scroll, it wouldn't burn the user when it was released. So the explosion wouldn't harm the user. Now, if you're saying that a 5 tag explosion at point-blank is too powerful to not harm the user, then we can nerf it to 3 tags for example. 1 Tag would seem a little weak for a full-cost one-time use C-rank technique in my opinion, but mer.

Weight Seal made~
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 11:32 am

Shiro wrote:


Why exactly is the seal too powerful as a D-rank when you're saying jutsus can't seal anything higher than their rank? The ability to seal large heavy objects, dozens of projectiles, and even ninjutsus is described as an E-rank technique. Why is sealing gases, particularly if limited to D-rank poisons, considered too powerful exactly for a D-rank technique?
The current state of this jutsu is too powerful to be a D rank. Rank it from C-S and I might approve it. And also, using this seal with your mouth is kind of risky because at least a bit of a poison IS going to somehow enter in you, sealing it or releasing it. So I suggest putting the seal somewhere else.

Shiro wrote:
I can't seem to find the post now, but you mentioned something concerning Explosive Palm, something along the lines of saying it would harm me? The jutsu releases the explosion in a directed fashion, similar I imagine as one would release say a fireball from a scroll, it wouldn't burn the user when it was released. So the explosion wouldn't harm the user. Now, if you're saying that a 5 tag explosion at point-blank is too powerful to not harm the user, then we can nerf it to 3 tags for example. 1 Tag would seem a little weak for a full-cost one-time use C-rank technique in my opinion, but mer.
Releasing a Fireball and an Explosion from a scroll are two very separate things. The fireball doesn't have force behind it and it's shot, while explosion does have force behind it and you don't shoot it towards the opponent, it explodes in the place, in your hand.

Quote :
5 Explosive Notes ─ Able to break bones in multiple locations, crack joints, tear open skin, produce third degree burns and produce unconsciousness upon direct or close hit. Can damage most organs if struck on chest. Knock back, skin tearing and second degree burns within half a meter. Reddening, knock back and skin irritation if past a meter.

And no matter how "weaker" you make this jutsu, it's still going to hurt both you and the opponent.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 7:05 pm

Quote :
The current state of this jutsu is too powerful to be a D rank. Rank it from C-S and I might approve it. And also, using this seal with your mouth is kind of risky because at least a bit of a poison IS going to somehow enter in you, sealing it or releasing it. So I suggest putting the seal somewhere else.

That doesn't answer my question of why its too powerful as a D-rank. Which is the question. That I asked. Why is it too powerful as a D-rank? I know that you think it is, my question is WHY you think it is.

How does a Fireball not have force behind it if its moving through the air towards an opponent? The fact that's its directed at all makes something pushing it forward. Now, this could be chakra, but in that case, chakra should be able to direct an explosion as easily as a ball of flames I would imagine. But you can argue that its directed by air blown from the mouth...Although that can make an argument that all Katon users use futon to direct Katon. And if simply blowing can direct a stream of fire, why shouldn't chakra? I digress. All in all, they don't appear that different to me. Why do you see directed heat and directed force to be all that different? They're both forms of energy. Directed energy is sort've the whole principle of jutsus after all, utilizing chakra either to manipulate a medium or releasing chakra as a weapon.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 7:51 pm

Shiro wrote:
That doesn't answer my question of why its too powerful as a D-rank. Which is the question. That I asked. Why is it too powerful as a D-rank? I know that you think it is, my question is WHY you think it is.
I did tell you. If you read what I said you would know why. But for you I'm going to say it again. Sealing something that is far beyond your rank is a no go. Short and simple.

Shiro wrote:
How does a Fireball not have force behind it if its moving through the air towards an opponent? The fact that's its directed at all makes something pushing it forward. Now, this could be chakra, but in that case, chakra should be able to direct an explosion as easily as a ball of flames I would imagine. But you can argue that its directed by air blown from the mouth...Although that can make an argument that all Katon users use futon to direct Katon. And if simply blowing can direct a stream of fire, why shouldn't chakra? I digress. All in all, they don't appear that different to me. Why do you see directed heat and directed force to be all that different? They're both forms of energy. Directed energy is sort've the whole principle of jutsus after all, utilizing chakra either to manipulate a medium or releasing chakra as a weapon.

The fireball is just that, a ball of fire that was "thrown". It doesn't explode, nor does it hit you, it just gets to you and burns you, therfore no force behind it as it doesn't have any physical substance in the first place. On the other hand, the explosion sends a powerful shock wave that hits anything that is close. And since the explosion happens in your hand, it would damage you as well.

Oh and I just noticed this. The Nindo cannot be private. You have to write it down.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 8:24 pm

Shiro wrote:
Quote :
The current state of this jutsu is too powerful to be a D rank. Rank it from C-S and I might approve it. And also, using this seal with your mouth is kind of risky because at least a bit of a poison IS going to somehow enter in you, sealing it or releasing it. So I suggest putting the seal somewhere else.
That doesn't answer my question of why its too powerful as a D-rank. Which is the question. That I asked. Why is it too powerful as a D-rank? I know that you think it is, my question is WHY you think it is.


    Simply put, D-rank techniques are the lowest level of difficulty for the commonly used techniques (I exclude Academy Techniques because they are the most simple, requiring the most scarce amount of skill or manipulation to use. Despite belonging to the standard Jutsu categories they are all primarily supplementary techniques and serve), thus these techniques [D-ranks] are simple in difficulty and ability and often contend with basic manipulation of fundamental skills, Surface walking for example is used to taught a basic ability for chakra Modulation and manipulation for Ninjutsu. Using that as a basis, Fuuinjutsu is a far more complicated specialty than your standard brand of Ninjutsu or Taijutsu, even further it is uncommon to be used at lower levels. Both Gofuu Kekkai which is the simple usage of the specialty to seal off an area with a barrier, and Shikoku Fuuin which is using Chakra to burn a marking into a surface are both C rank techniques despite their fairly simple mechanics.

    Keeping this in mind, the poison seal should be higher rank for two main reasons. Firstly is the complexity of its usage. You are dangerously relying on a seal placed on your tongue to protect you from any ill-effects of the poison whilst also sealing it before it can be inhaled. Which, given the location of the seal it seems highly unlikely to protect you from the entire poison at any rate given that even if you choose not to inhale during it's usage (either by sealing or releasing) particles from the poison can still travel into your mouth or nose. Not only this but the seal is capable of examining the quality of the nearby air and sealing anything labeled as " unusual air " ? How does a D rank seal conduct such a detailed examination? What about things which can be found in a standard atmosphere and are also poisonous to the body(Cigarette smoke, Volcanic Ashe, Dust from a Coal Mine, there is an endless list)? The seal is complicated well beyond the point of a D-rank technique. You specialize in neither medical or puppetry so it goes without saying that your understanding of poison should be basic at best so how do you develop a seal that is capable of diagnosing a poison in the air to begin with?

    The second reason is both an issue of fairness and comprehension. Airborne poisons themselves are difficult to predict or control which begs the question, how much air can the seal contain? If the "unusual air" is spread throughout the user in a 10-meter radius do you then instantly inhale the entire 10 meter radius of polluted air or is the seal limited by the user's lung capacity itself or does the seal generate the inhalation?(Which could be argued as Fuuton technique) If you are indeed capable of absorbing such a vast quantity, that would restrict your ability to breath for some time whilst you absorb the poison. Something of this nature is different than sealing a jutsu which most times can be easily done.


    The first paragraph is mainly why the technique should be at least C-rank, the second are legitimate moderation questions/ requirements, although the whole thing should be kept in mind when editing or answering.

    I do apologize for any grammar or fragmentation errors in my above explanation.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyWed 30 Jan 2013, 4:42 am

Kay :3
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyWed 30 Jan 2013, 6:07 pm

  • Appearance needs one more paragraph.

  • Nindo can't be private. Write something.

  • Origin is for country, not village. In your case it's Mizu no Kuni.

  • Are you sure you don't want to start with any element?

  • Quote :
    Name: Shunpo [Flash Step]
    Put 10% faster not 110%

  • Quote :
    Name: Bakuhira [Explosion Palm]
    Again, the shock wave and the explosion itself will hurt both you and the opponent.

  • Now for scrolls. You can have 4 and you have 5. One of them is a Large Scroll which is B rank, so remove him. Also I suggest reading through the rules of the usage of the scrolls and how they work.

  • Please put these templates for each scroll

    Code:
    [b]Name:[/b] Small Scroll
    [b]Rank:[/b] D
    [b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
    [b]Quantity:[/b] -
    [b]Description:[/b] Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a small scroll will measure up to fifteen centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching fifty centimetres.
    [b]Contents:[/b]

    [b]Name:[/b] Medium Scroll
    [b]Rank:[/b] C
    [b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
    [b]Quantity:[/b] -
    [b]Description:[/b] Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre.
    [b]Contents:[/b]
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyWed 30 Jan 2013, 11:37 pm

http://www.ultimateshinobi.org/t8848-raiden-dinamita-saji-kiri-genin Last approved Character on the site has less written about his appearance than me.

Nindo changed

I have no wish for any element at this time.

It doesn't read 110% faster. It reads moving at 110% of normal speed.

Umm...I only have 4 scrolls? One of which was empty. Medium 1, 2, 3, and the large one? Which is becoming a medium scroll? I'm not following where the 5th is. Is a Ninja Kit considered a scroll? Then why would you be able to have additional scrolls in it...The sword isn't sealed.

Medium scroll description listed for the scrolls. We're supposed to be allowed a certain amount of creative control over our profiles, and relisting medium scroll for each of them would make the profile more messy than I'd like. I think people can read Medium description and follow from there.

Explosive Palm altered into a new form, one I hope is acceptable.

Two new D-rank Fuuinjutsus added, Imitation and Small Shield. Both are fairly low-key, so I hope they're acceptable.
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PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 8:24 am

Quote :
http://www.ultimateshinobi.org/t8848-raiden-dinamita-saji-kiri-genin Last approved Character on the site has less written about his appearance than me.
That Character was not approved by me. I ask of everyone to write a longer appearance and so I asked it from you, and I expect you to write it. It should be easy seeing how there are a lot of stuff on your character.

Quote :
Nindo changed
Ok

Quote :
I have no wish for any element at this time.
Ok

Quote :
It doesn't read 110% faster. It reads moving at 110% of normal speed.
As long as we're clear.

Quote :
Umm...I only have 4 scrolls? One of which was empty. Medium 1, 2, 3, and the large one? Which is becoming a medium scroll? I'm not following where the 5th is. Is a Ninja Kit considered a scroll? Then why would you be able to have additional scrolls in it...The sword isn't sealed.
Guess I misread something. Anyway, Scroll 2, the Flash Bombs, you can have only 2 of them. A C rank takes up 10 weapon slots and a Large scroll has 20 weapon slots.

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Medium scroll description listed for the scrolls. We're supposed to be allowed a certain amount of creative control over our profiles, and relisting medium scroll for each of them would make the profile more messy than I'd like. I think people can read Medium description and follow from there.
Ok

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Explosive Palm altered into a new form, one I hope is acceptable.
It can be the power of 5 explosive notes, the problem I had with the Palm is because that force exploded in your arm.

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Two new D-rank Fuuinjutsus added, Imitation and Small Shield. Both are fairly low-key, so I hope they're acceptable.
Imitation is a basically a telephone and the Shield is acceptable.
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Shiro
Shiro

Posts : 363

Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 8:31 am

I'd think of Imitation as more of Morse code o3o Although I don't know if basically being a telephone can be considered good or bad. We've seen short-range radios and occasion television based communication on Naruto, but you guys have the say here on the site what technology is acceptable. So I don't know if being akin to a telephone means yes or no, seeing as we've never seen telephones in Naruto, where they primarily use messenger-based communications. o.o

Flashbombs are a bit ambiguous an item as to where they exactly fall upon. They're non-lethal distractions, similar to smokebombs, so I wasn't sure whether to consider them a standard item or a weapon. But 2 or 4, I'm fine with it. Edited to two.

And uh...

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Scroll Capacities
Small Scroll: Ten Slots.
Medium Scroll: Twenty Slots.
Large Scroll: Thirty Slots.
Massive Scroll: Fifty Slots.
Gigantic Scroll: Seventy Slots.
Medium Scrolls, not large scrolls, have twenty weapon slots
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Emperor of Rock
Konoha Nin
Emperor of Rock

Age : 32
Posts : 869

Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 8:39 am

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I'd think of Imitation as more of Morse code o3o Although I don't know if basically being a telephone can be considered good or bad. We've seen short-range radios and occasion television based communication on Naruto, but you guys have the say here on the site what technology is acceptable. So I don't know if being akin to a telephone means yes or no, seeing as we've never seen telephones in Naruto, where they primarily use messenger-based communications. o.o
Let's leave it at telephone. It's not that complicated of a jutsu.

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Flashbombs are a bit ambiguous an item as to where they exactly fall upon. They're non-lethal distractions, similar to smokebombs, so I wasn't sure whether to consider them a standard item or a weapon. But 2 or 4, I'm fine with it. Edited to two.
ok

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And uh...

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Scroll Capacities
Small Scroll: Ten Slots.
Medium Scroll: Twenty Slots.
Large Scroll: Thirty Slots.
Massive Scroll: Fifty Slots.
Gigantic Scroll: Seventy Slots.
Medium Scrolls, not large scrolls, have twenty weapon slots
A typo by my part. I meant medium, not sure why I wrote large Thinking

Anyway, once you make one more paragraph in appearance, you're approved
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Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Shiro - [Kiri Genin] Empty

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