| | Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] | |
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Zevas
Posts : 55
| Subject: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Tue 15 Jan 2013, 1:48 am | |
| Hyuuga, ZevasTHE INFO. Name: Zevas Hyuuga Nickname: Age: 13 Gender: Male Appearance: Zevas is a pale, thin, caucasion male, standing five feet tall. He is built like a pole with a lengthy body and arms. Not much fat resides on his body, having a cut physique. Zevas has the signature cold, dead white Hyuuga eyes, with that even more well known Hyuuga gleam of pride and disdain for all they looked upon, as well as his jet black hair that reaches down to rest in between his shoulder blades. His hairstyle has some hair in front of his head and behind it as well. His face looks delicate, and his skin is actually quite soft. His nose has a slight curve on the bridge, making his face seeming to be almost chiseled out of the finest material. Even his lips are that of the best kisser in the world.
Zevas has no tattoos, no seals on his body, being of the main branch, and no physical defects. He does have a few scars from skirmishes he has gotten into. On the lower left side of his rib cage, is a scar, four inches long. The scar was from a kunai that nearly gutted Zevas. Another scar is on his right shoulder, from a shuriken that had gotten stuck there on accident during a practice session. These marks are lightly colored and slightly raised higher than the normal skin. Not too noticeable from the average person's sight.
Unlike the traditional Hyuuga wear, Zevas has a mainly black attire. He wears a sleeveless black shirt on hs skin, and over this he wears a zipped up sweater, like a spring jacket, that is loose on his body. He wears black pants of a soft yet durable material, with spandex around the waist and ankles to assure that the pants do not fall off. The rest of the lower half falls loosely onto Zevas' legs, leaving comfortable breathing room.
Forehead Protector: On the waist in the front of the body Personality: Unlike the traditional Hyuuga, Zevas is more of an outgoing shinobi. Something must have happened to him a birth to be so emotionally different from the rest of his clan. He prefers pulling pranks over meditating, and eating like a pig over manners. The same comes to his battle style, as when he fights his mood isnt that of a calm hyuuga, instead he chooses to release a relentless assault until his enemy is fully incapacitated. Some say when Zevas matures he will turn into a full fledged killer, not stopping until the opponent isnt recognizable by the next of kin. Till that point in time though, Zevas is an energetic and outgoing genin who loves to live life to the fullest, with a slight side of stubbornness to his outlook. People take this as him being an unruly child, when in fact it is more of a strength than it is a weakness. Some would call him a fool, getting back up every time he is knocked down, even against all odds. Zevas even challenged higher ranking members of his clan in his hard headedness, trying to better himself.
Zevas has somewhat of a split personality, with a singular mind. Picture two of him, in his mind, with different views. Its not like he has two different personalities, just majorly undecided in his head. This has lead to instability at times, and also the work of genius. They say to heads are better than one right? The back and forth can cause a single revelation in the hyuuga's mind. Zevas can even be seen arguing with himself, even over the most minute matters. This also entails to Zevas' nindo, because usually when one mentality gives up, the other one pushes him forward to keep doing his best. Zevas has to keep in mind he has this...defect, in order for him to keep it hidden, although it is, at times, hard to do so. His darker personality gives him a lower stance and devilish demeanor. When this personality is dominant, Zevas will be willing to go beyond the extremes. His Graffiti will cover entire buildings, not just one wall, and they will depict gruesome and horrific images. Zevas will play jokes on people, mean pranks, and when in a battle he will not hesitate to make a killing blow. When Zevas has his lighter personality in control, he will take a strong tall stance, usually walking with his arms crossed behind his back. His graffiti will depict a scenery of joy that brings happiness to the heart. Possibly children playing in the meadow or butterflies flying n the breeze. He will help others at a moments notice, and in batle he will do his best to incapacitate an opponent if he can without killing them. Clan: Hyuuga Nindō: Striving to reach my goal, never give up
THE NINJA. Origin: Mizu no Kuni Affiliation: Kiri Rank: C Specialties:
Elemental Affinities:
Combat Style: Zevas fights like any hyuuga, and that is usually up close. But, there is something different about his fighting style than one may assume. Yes he uses the gentle fist style, but he doesnt use it like the rest of his clan does. Instead Zevas uses a mix of techniques from his caln and outside of it to totally incapacitate the enemy. Zevas isnt really gentle with his attacks either. He prefers to go all out, get things done and over with, not drag the battles out and give the enemy an opportunity to make a come back. His techniques, used in combination, help him maintain a healthy level of stamina, not to drain himself out while fighting. If the enemy were to get a hold of him Zevas could easily use a number of jutsu to free himself, while continuing his ethics of incapacitating his foe. Zevas prefers to come into a battle unburden, being able to be light on his feet, but also to have a back up for every situation he is in, literally pulling an ace out of the hole, or having tricks up his sleeves.
Special Characteristics: Clan Mastery
- Spoiler:
Name: Clan Prodigy Rank: C Type: Chakra Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: A trait given to ninja who posses a innate talent for the manipulation of clan based techniques and has trained thoroughly to improve their skill. Their power over the the clans abilities has become so considerable that the ninja is now considered a young prodigy by the clan elders. Because of this, the user's clan based attacks are 20% more destructive with their increased power and size.
THE BACKGROUND. History: Birth Arc-
- Spoiler:
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...wait this is the wrong story. In the land of ooh...what? Still? Sorry...lets see, AH! Here it is...In a village, one by the name of kumogakure, was a hospital. But today this hospital was going to experience something wonderful, a miracle, the magic of birth. Kintara Hyuuga was giving birth to a boy, part of the main branch's hyuuga clan. She had already picked out a name for the child, and had already started going into labor at this point in time. Oh the screams of agony, the father's face, his broken hand, her bleeding...ehm, sorry. Back to the main point. The doctors had come and were delivering the infant. His head came first, as with all babies do, and hen the rest of him. The umbilical cord was cut using the chakra scalpel technique, to unsure a clean and healthy cut of the already predertermined shinobi. Zevas was his name, Hyuuga, Zevas. This is the beginning of HIS journy. What did you expect? It was going to be his father's journy? You fools...
Academy Arc-
- Spoiler:
Having been born into the hyuuga clan, Zevas was now considered a kekkai genkai shinobi. Well, not yet, that was until he entered the academy. Zevas trained hard, and remained steadfast in his ways. But that didnt always decide the outcome, because if it did he would be kage right now. But no, those damn laws of physics and aging which cause oneself to slowly gain ranks and...sorry, there was another fit there. Zevas accelled in his family name, showing himself to be somewhat of a prodigy to his clan name. Wait, somewhat? It says right in his special characteristics that he is a prodigy! Idiots...Well then, as a prodigy Zevas' name was quickly spread through out the clan, and he gained a certain...infamy? I think that is the right word...Anywho...But there was something about him that was different than the rest of the hyuuga clan. He wasnt docile and calm, almost the opposite in fact. Loving to stand out he even wore black clothing instead of grey. Can you believe the disrespect...yet, Zevas was loved all the same. When teamed up Zevas was more of the up close and personnel guy, that was when that werent using him for surveillance. The Hyuuga's Byakugan came quite in handy during those training times. He was usually teamed up with someone who was mid to long ranged in combat, or one of both. They would attack in a straight line, Zevas being the forerunner. Making the start of the battle go with ease, if he missed his comrades would back him up, and he would swing around for a flanked assault. Everyone knew Zevas would become a genin, but that's as far as anyone thought he would go. He had the power and knowledge of a genin at birth, but his stubbornness was thought as a handicap and that it would hold him back.
Genin Arc-
- Spoiler:
Ah now to being a genin, which i will add is our shortest arc, but not the end to our story. You see, Zevas passed the genin exams, got his headband, and was made a full fledged ninja. The reason why this arc is so short is, well, he is still a genin! So far he has only done a few "find it for me, now!" missions, seeing he has a byakugan. And the rest of this arc, this part of history, as well as the rest of history for Zevas, will be continued through him. You dont need me telling you whats going to happen next, just watch!
Roleplay Sample:
- Spoiler:
Zevas was walking through he mountainous region of kumo, more along the outskirts of the village. He was a tad bit different from the regulat hyuuga. Ever since birth Zevas prefered fuinjutsu over ninjutsu, which he has mixed with his tajutsu. Looking down at his hands Zevas sighed. "What a world this is, when someone of my stature changes something long since made." Zevas laughed. Was he going all philosophical on himself? Naw, Zevas just shrugged. Zevas formed a hand seal, speaking the word "Release." There was a small puff of smoke and a book appeared in his hands. opening it, Zevas flipped to the dog earred page, and started reading. It was his time to relax, as it would be anyones. The water hitting the edge of the land that Zevas was standing by. The water foamed at the edge and sea spray flung up onto his face. Zevas enjoyed the peace every now and then, but this was on a rare occasion. Closing the book in his hands, Zevas smiled, stood up, and looked back at the village. "Time to cause a little havoc." Zevas jumped of of the large rock he was standing on. There wasnt much he could think to do, he wasnt an evil soul. His kind of havoc was bits of mischief here and there. Once reaching the village Zevas would proceed to removed some supplies to his ninja kit. Preferably his brush and ink. Dipping the brush in the ink, Zevas began to go to work. He would mark small trinkets and fruits with a special marking, his sigil. This continued into graffiti on some of the walls of some important buildings in the village. Yet this wasnt any amateur graffiti, as he knew fuinjutsu, his hand writing and steadiness were artistic. Finishing for the day, Zevas went home, because it was time to rest. Tomorrow he would enjoy the fruits of his labor.
THE ARSENAL. Weaponry:
- Spoiler:
Name: Sealing Art Kit Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 5 Small Scrolls [10], 4 Medium Scrolls [16], 10cm Ink Capsule [1], 500mL Paint Canister [1], 1 Journal [1], 2 Tipped Pens [1], 1 Brush [1], 3 Ink Pens [3]. Requires Fuuinjutsu.
Extras: (4 free medium scrolls from being a fuin user)
Name: Medium Scroll Rank: C Type: Supplementary Quantity: 1 Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre. Contents: 6 shuriken[3], 6 Kunai[3], empty slots[14]
Name: Medium Scroll Rank: C Type: Supplementary Quantity: 3 Description: Scrolls are an important asset to any ninja's arsenal, whether they are used for sealing, summoning or simple communication, scrolls have always found their home within a ninja's pouch or pocket. When stood, a medium scroll will measure up to thirty centimetres in height, with the scroll length itself reaching one metre. Contents: empty slots[20]
Jutsu:
Clan Jutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Byakugan (Activation) Rank: E-S Type: Bloodline - Doujutsu Range: Description Clan: Hyuuga Description: Byakugan "White Eye" is a dōjutsu kekkei genkai of the Hyūga clan. This technique is the activation of the ability from the eyes previous dormant state. When activated the users lavender eyes become more focused, their pupils become more distinct, and the veins near their temples bulge. Byakugan gives the user a near 360º field of vision, except for one small blind spot at the back of the neck above the third thoracic vertebra. The second ability is being able to see through solid objects, and can use a degree of telescopic sight. The user is able to see into vasts distances in which a regular eye cannot behold. They are capable of seeing insects behind trees with distinct perception and look behind wall with the Byakugan's ability. The third and one of the greatest uses of the Byakugan is the ability to see chakra, chakra flow as well as the chakra circulation system inside the body with great detail. It is from this particular ability that they are able to employ their ultimate attack style: Gentle Fist. It was also noted that the Byakugan can also discern a transformation and a real person using the eye's ability to see chakra, as well as barriers. The distance and the degree of telescopic sight varies from member to member. [C-Ranked] activation is able to see 50m in radius. [B-Ranked] activation is able to see 150m in radius. [A-Ranked] is able to extend 400m in radius. And finally [S-Ranked] is able to extend 900m in radius. Chakra Cost: 3CP per Post; A-rank 4CP per post; S-rank 5CP per post.
Natural Jutsu: - Spoiler:
Name: Gentle Fist Rank: E-S Type: Taijutsu Clan: Hyuuga Description: This is the base fighting style the Hyuuga learns at an early age, which emphasis the abilities of their Byakugan which allows them to see chakra networks. This is an advanced fighting style which is difficult to learn and requires much practice and dedication to master. This technique allows the user to passively seal a persons Tenki points upon physical contact, thus slowly depleting their chakra in the process. 3CP will be depleted with each successful attack from the user, no matter how minimal it is. Because the chakra network and human system are so aligned, while depleting a persons tenki points the user also causes severe internal pain upon the contacted area. Technique does not apply to jutsu. The Gentle Fist (柔拳, Jūken) or Gentle Fist Style (柔拳法, Jūkenpō) is a form of hand-to-hand combat used by members of the Hyūga clan. It inflicts internal damage and disrupt the body's Chakra Pathway System so as to ultimately inhibit an opponent's use of chakra. To do this, the user surgically injects a small amount of their own chakra into an opponent's chakra pathway system. The infiltrating chakra can then be used to disrupt or divert chakra flow, preventing them from using jutsu.Targeting the Tenketsu can enhance the havoc and control a Jūken user can impose upon an opponent's chakra network. These special nodes, 361 in total, are key gate-keeping interceptions in the chakra circulatory network, thus forcibly opening or sealing them in whatever manner the Jūken-user sees fit is a powerful tactical option to have. Harming the chakra network in this way can directly damage internal organs due to their proximity to the chakra circulatory system. Even the slightest tap can cause severe internal damage, hence the name "gentle" fist.
Jutsu - Spoiler:
Name: Hiratehi-ru Dageki | Palm Heel Strike Rank: D Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m) Description: Hiratehi-ru Dageki is a very base technique performed by the members of the Hyuuga Clan. This attack consists of a quick, precise thrust of the users' palm to an opponent's body. If the jutsu strikes at dead center, it may can thrust the enemy back a couple of meters. Chakra Cost: 3CP
Name: Chakura Hari no Jutsu | Chakra Needle Technique Rank: D Type: Taijutsu - Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Description: Chakura Hari no Jutsu is a common technique performed by the members of he Hyuuga Clan. After focusing chakra outside the body, the chakra is formed into visible needles which can be propelled at the user's target. By using Byakugan, this technique can be used to hit very small targets, such as bees etc. This attack can also be used to attack a persons chakra network by performing accurate shots into their chakra system. It these needles exceed the range, they disappear. 4 needles make be made at one time using this jutsu. Chakra Cost: 4CP
Name: Hakke Kūshō | Eight Trigrams Empty Palm Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Description: Hakke Kūshō is a technique performed by members of the Hyuuga Clan. This technique is similar in practice to Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin, but has a specific target rather than a general area. To perform it, the user precisely pinpoints the enemy's vital points with the Byakugan and releases a high-speed palm thrust. A "vacuum shell" compressed using the Gentle Fist is formed to violently push the opponent away a few meters. Chakra Cost: 7CP
Name: Hakkeshō Kaiten | Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m ~ 5m) Description: Chakra Cost: Hakkeshō Kaiten is a technique performed by members of the Hyuuga Clan. A Taijutsu technique unique to the Hyuuga bloodline using the Jyuuken. Kaiten is a special technique passed down through the main family line. Kaiten takes advantage of several of the unique abilities of the Byakugan eye. Byakugan gives the clan member an almost complete 360 degree view of their surroundings. This allows the member to see all angles of attack. If an attack is near, the clan member will release a large of amount of chakra from their tenketsu. The member then begins to spin like a top, creating a whirling vortex that can nullify almost any attack. Chakra Cost: 8CP
Name: Hakke Sanjūni Shō | Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Clan: Hyuuga Description: Eight Trigrams Thrity-Two Palms is a technique performed by the members of the Hyuuga Clan. When an opponent is within the clan members divination field of attack, they can quickly begin their assault. The technique allows the clan member to use the Byakugan eye to see the inner chakra coils system. Using the Jyuuken style, they can force their chakra through their hands into the tenketsu of the opponent's body through 32 strikes. First the clan member will strike 2 times, then 4, 8, 16, and finally 32. This damage forcibly closes 32 tenketsu, slowing the chakra flow of the opponent. Those who fall victim of this technique will consume 25% more chakra per jutsu for 2 posts. C-ranked ninja may find it difficult to avoid this attack, though higher ranked ninja may interrupt it by evading if skillful enough. Chakra Cost: 8CP
Regular Jutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Wind Fists Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: N/A Element: Varies Description: The taijutsu user will enhance their attacks with an element they have. Each element does something different, and has special effects. This is a taijutsu skill and thus no hand signs are needed. Wind: Surrounds the users body in a small outline of wind, causing them to increase slightly in speed and make their attacks cause small cuts and have a small amount of wind force behind them. Chakra Cost:7cp
Name: Lightning Fists Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: N/A Element: Varies Description: The taijutsu user will enhance their attacks with an element they have. Each element does something different, and has special effects. This is a taijutsu skill and thus no hand signs are needed. Lightning: The body of the user will be pulsing with lightning chakra giving the users' attack a paralyzing punch behind it, due to the increased electrical output. This causes a numbing sensation in the opponent and slows down whatever limb has been hit. This lasts one post per hit to said area. Chakra Cost:7cp
Name: Sealing Fists Rank: C - S Type: Fuuinjutsu, Taijutsu Range: Close Element: N/A Description: Zevas is able to seal jutsu into has hands, and return the power in elemental form through a taijutsu attack. These jutsu that are sealed can only be of the same rank or lower than the user. So say someone attacks with a c rank fireball, zevas can engulf his hands in flames with c rank fire. He can only use techniques he has sealed in the same thread. This is a variant of Fire Sealing Method. Only one jutsu can be sealed per hand. The seal formula must be prewritten on Zevas' hand before the jutsu can be used. Chakra Cost: 6cp, 12cp, 22cp, 36cp
Name: Summoning Seal Rank: D Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) to Long (10m+) Element: N/A Description: Zevas will place a seal onsomething, nothing bigger than roughly 2 times his size. Once the seal has been placed Zevas can use the summoning jutsu itself to someone what he had placed the seal on. The item must be in the same topic...because that way it cant be abused... Chakra Cost: 3cp
Name: Kuchiyose no Jutsu - Summoning Technique Fuin Style Rank: C Type: Fuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This is a one way summon, where Zevas will mark an item with a seal, and summon that item to his position. Works in conjunction with another of his jutsu, the Summoning Seal. Chakra Cost: 5cp
Name: Body Paralysis Rank: C Type: Fuuinjutsu, Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: In conjunction with the fighting style the user uses, they will attempt to place a seal on the opponent they are fighting. When a seal is placed on the limb it seals the movement for that limb. This requires 5CP to break the seal because it takes time for the chakra in the body to deteriorate such a seal. However, if no chakra can reach the seal then the limb will permanently stay sealed till it is removed. If the chest is hit it will paralyze the chest and cause a slow reaction time in reflexes due to the solar plexus now being unable to move. If the head was hit the face would be paralyzed in the way it was hit, and from the neck up would be unable to move. Chakra Cost: 6cp, 3cp upkeep
Name: Sensory Seal Rank: C Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: Close to Long Element: N/A Description: A seal will be placed on someone or something, and the user who place will be able to sense where that someone or something is. Chakra Cost: 3cp, upkeep 1cp close 0-5m, 2cp mid 5-10m, 3cp long 10m-20m
Name: Shikoku Fuuin - Finger Engraving Seal Rank: C Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: The user concentrates chakra into their finger and using the heat from that can apply writing on whatever they want. This allows them to write on the skin of animals, iron plates, or a wide range of things. Must be delicate with chakra control when using this technique. If used on flesh; will scar. Chakra Cost: 6 (2 per post)
Academy jutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Random Hyuuga Source: Internet Image URL:http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRju_XFrRZQp-oqmXbonkd5mDBc0rbZHldlIdX-a5LKbtI-hXFuQjkWWtbQqw
Last edited by Zevas on Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:58 pm; edited 19 times in total |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Tue 15 Jan 2013, 6:47 pm | |
| Hey there, a few things worth mentioning;
- Your appearance needs to be a bit longer, like around 100+ more words. And I also wanted to point out that the Hyuuga have white eyes, not pale blue.
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- The Hyuuga Clan are known for their shoulder length jet-black hair and pale skin. As a result of their advanced genetic mutation 'Byakugan' their eyes are strangely pure white
- I want you to add more personality. Two solid paragraphs should be the minimum, and especially since you are applying for a clan. I always want people to show a bit more efforts when they apply for those.
- Add a tad bit more of a history, what about friends in the academy? And how does he do in teams? Just a little more stuff, nothing huge.
- There is a broken code in the 'Natural jutsu' section. Also, fix the coding for some of the fuuin jutsu.
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- increasing their reflexes from electrical stimulation, as well as giving the users' attack a paralyzing punch behind it, due to the increased electrical output. This causes a numbing sensation in the opponent and slows down whatever limb has been hit.
Remove the increasing their reflexes from electrical stimulation part.
The paralyzing punch part needs to have a description on how long the effects last.
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- Name: Chakra Replacement Technique
Rank: C Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: used in conjunction with the gentle fist technique. This Technique will replenish the chakra used by the Hyuuga, while Byakugan is activated, through the sealing of tenketsu against the opponent. When the hyuuga attacks the opponent, and sends their chakra into an enemy with the gentle fist technique, they will then draw out some of the enemy's chakra to replenish what they used. This technique cannot be used to gain more than full capacity of chakra. Chakra Cost:5cp This one has to be removed, you cannot use the chakra points attack to steal chakra. Plus we are pretty strict when it comes to chakra stealing techniques.
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- Name: Sealing Fists
Rank: C - S Type: Fuuinjutsu, Taijutsu Range: Close Element: N/A Description: Zevas is able to seal jutsu into has hands, and return the power in elemental form through a taijutsu attack. Chakra Cost: 6cp, 12cp, 22cp, 36cp This jutsu needs more description on how exactly it works. Also note that he can only use this technique with jutsu which have already been sealed in the same thread. He can also only seal techniques of his rank or lower.
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Name: Summoning Seal Rank: D Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) to Long (10m+) Element: N/A Description: Zevas will place a seal on someone or something, nothing bigger than roughly four times his size. Once the seal has been placed Zevas can use the summoning jutsu itself to someone what he had placed the seal on. This can be used on comrades for quick travel as well. Chakra Cost: 3cp 4 times his size is a bit too big for a D rank jutsu. And you cannot summon people.
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- Quote :
- Name: Body Paralysis
Rank: D Type: Fuuinjutsu, Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: In conjunction with the fighting style the user uses, they will attempt to place a seal on the opponent they are fighting. When a seal is placed on the limb it seals the movement for that limb. This lasts for two posts because it takes time for the chakra in the body to deteriorate such a seal. However, if no chakra can reach the seal then the limb will permanently stay sealed till it is removed. Chakra Cost: 4cp This technique needs a CP per post.
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- Quote :
- Name: Sensory Seal
Rank: D Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: Close to Long Element: N/A Description: A seal will be placed on someone or something, and the user who place will be able to sense where that someone or something is. Chakra Cost: 4cp This technique needs to be C rank, it needs a CP cost per post and a range.
- You need to finish filling out your FC.
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| | | Zevas
Posts : 55
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Wed 16 Jan 2013, 1:10 am | |
| dun du du dun |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Wed 16 Jan 2013, 5:46 pm | |
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- Your personality needs a bit more adding. When I ask of two paragraphs, keep in mind that a single paragraph holds about 250 - 300 words.
- Did you add anything into the history? 0.o Because I see no difference. My apologies if you did. It is rather short still. I am only being a bit more strict towards this because of the fact that you are applying for a Hyuuga. I'm not trying to be mean or anything.
- Sealing Fists; Add to the technique that he can only use techniques he has sealed in the same thread.
- Please watch out for your grammar. There are many times where you forget to make a space between words or use a wrong grammar. Have that in mind when you start rp-ing.
- Sensory Seal; Please put the meters in the range also in.
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| | | Zevas
Posts : 55
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Wed 16 Jan 2013, 7:10 pm | |
| doobey doobey doo |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Mon 21 Jan 2013, 5:35 pm | |
| (1/2) approved. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Mon 21 Jan 2013, 10:46 pm | |
| Approved2/2 Please make sure to go set up an account. Once you do, you'll be good to go! |
| | | Enzo
Age : 28 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Mon 21 Jan 2013, 11:03 pm | |
| Second Approval Revoked I have issues with some of the jutsu. Will post in full promptly. |
| | | Enzo
Age : 28 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Mon 21 Jan 2013, 11:58 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Elemental Fists
This should definitely be separated into different jutsu. It grants different effects per element, and is therefore not something you can simply alternate between selectively. Jutsu are only allowed to be composed of 1 element, or 1 advanced element. They cannot have variations based on the elemental chakra used. Please make this into two different techniques. - Quote :
- Sealing Fists
Sorry, but this jutsu is way too vague. First, off, how are you even sealing it into your hands? Are you making hand seals? Are there seals on your hands that are available for jutsu storage? Also; seals can only perform 1 action, 2 at best. This jutsu is performing a total of 3. It's sealing a jutsu(1), and then allowing you to either release the jutsu(2), or convert it into an element for taijutsu(3). The 'or' is the worrisome part, as you first state the jutsu absorbs the oncoming ninjutsu, then converts it into elemental energy; then go on to state he can either release the jutsu, or release the energy. "So say someone attacks with a c rank fireball, zevas can either engulf his hands in flames with c rank fire, or hurl that c rank fireball back at the enemy." This would be two different jutsu. Pick one effect. Finally: you make no reference to how many jutsu you can store in these seals(?) at one time. I assume it's only one at a time. Also; this jutsu is auto-denied if the effect is 'turns the jutsu into a seal on contact', as this basically implies one could kick the jutsu and it would get sealed on their boot. - Quote :
- Summoning Seal
Make a note that the marked object has to be in the same topic, else this could easily be abused. - Quote :
- Transporting Fists
I don't understand what this jutsu does at all. What are you doing? Placing seals on him? If so, why is that a jutsu? And uh.. what exactly do the seals do? I'm very confused how placing a seal on someone will cause a weapon to pop out. What kind of seals are these, and why do they have weapons on them? When were these weapons sealed? Raises more questions than I can begin to ask. - Quote :
- Body Paralysis
Way too powerful for a D-rank technique, and the escape clause is too vague. You're telling me that if chakra is applied, it still takes 2 posts to break? Nuh uh; paralysis and binding jutsu require a definite escape clause, such as "requires 5CP to break the seal", otherwise they'd be too OP to be allowed on the site. If you want to keep it low rank (say C-rank), you'll need a set time limit for the jutsu's effects as well. Remember, Danzo's full body sealing jutsu was A-rank, and it did exactly this, but harder to break. Also, what's the range for the paralysis effect? The jutsu is called Body paralysis, but I sure hope it doesn't stun the entire body. State what happens if the chest or head are struck. - Quote :
- Sensory Seal
Give the 3cp/post variant a set limit. ie. 10m-20m; otherwise you're telling me you can sense someone from a hundred meters away (which is a skill exclusive to those with the Sensory SC). Other than that, you're fine. |
| | | Zevas
Posts : 55
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Tue 22 Jan 2013, 1:00 am | |
| bumpity |
| | | Enzo
Age : 28 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Tue 22 Jan 2013, 4:37 am | |
| - Quote :
- Summoning Seal
Funny. - Quote :
- Transporting Fists
Still very confused what this does and how it works. Here's my theory, and correct me if I'm wrong. You're placing seals on the enemy while performing taijutsu (how you can write seals that fast is an alarming question. Or are you like, putting sticky-notes on them?), and these seals will release themselves to spawn a weapon (I don't think you mention it having any momentum..). Now, question, if you're spawning a weapon, wouldn't it pop out toward your character? Since the seal is on the target, it can't immediately be unsealed and proceed to say, stab the item into the flesh; kind of makes no sense. Finally; the last bit seems to be a different jutsu altogether; since it appears you're unsealing an item and giving it momentum, unlike the previous technique which appeared to have done.. something. Note: Unsealing and sealing rapidly doesn't create any push. It's actually impossible to simply unseal nothing, as the seal has nothing to well, unseal. Sealing sucks something in, and unsealing expels it; so like, conservation of energy and whatnot. Point is: adding a kick to your punches would be a separate fuuinjutsu on its own, and not a part of the unsealing of an object. Also, a final question: Do you perform hand seals to activate the seals? I hope so, otherwise how are they activated o3o; - Quote :
- Body Paralysis
Should be C-rank, and the CP cost should be higher to accomodate the rank increase. Also; the torso variant doesn't seem to make much sense; as paralyzing the connecting limbs kind of prevents the electrical signal from reaching the other limbs. Kind of hard to imagine a person with a dysfunctional set of knees and a perfectly fine working pair of calfs. Mind editing it to something less strange/severe; ie. stiff movements or delayed reaction time. That's about it. Apologies for the delayed response. |
| | | Zevas
Posts : 55
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Tue 22 Jan 2013, 5:35 pm | |
| edited, and i just removed transporting fists because i just woke up and want to be approved and its taking too much time and it will be easier this way. |
| | | Enzo
Age : 28 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Tue 22 Jan 2013, 7:09 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Body Paralysis
This is still D-rank :c |
| | | Zevas
Posts : 55
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Tue 22 Jan 2013, 9:59 pm | |
| lol i upgraded the cost but forgot to add in the new rank XD retard move but edited |
| | | Enzo
Age : 28 Posts : 1797
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Thu 24 Jan 2013, 2:27 am | |
| [2/2] Approved! |
| | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Hyuuga, Zevas [Kiri Genin] Sun 16 Jun 2013, 5:08 pm | |
| Archived. Due to inactivity.
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