| | Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] | |
| |
MrJaffa
Posts : 36
| Subject: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Tue 15 Jan 2013, 7:14 am | |
| Kuroi-Aisu Yuki Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu.THE INFO. Name: Kuroi-Aisu Yuki Nickname: Among the village people, he is often called The boy with a heart of black ice. By friends, or rather, accomplices, he is often known as Aisu. Age: 14 Gender: Male Appearance: Aisu is not an ugly boy by anyone’s standards . He is actually quite handsome. The one thing that pulls people’s attention away from his looks though is his eyes. He was born with what is often described as ‘wild, crazy eyes’ they have a brown iris, something incredibly rare, with thick black lines around the iris. The veins in his eyes are particularly pronounced as well, resembling someone with a rather bad case of conjunctivitis. He however, has no idea what people mean when they tell him that. He has spiky black hair, long enough to reach about the middle of his neck. His skin is rather pale, often making people who don’t know him assume that he is ill. He wears a black leather jacket over a white t shirt, along with a pair of black jeans. His belt bears the kanji for power, something that he will pursue relentlessly. His jacket has a great many pockets to accompany his large amount of weapons, along with multiple straps and sheaths along his belt. If he wishes to seem mysterious, or to better hide, he will flip his hood up and keep his head down to better hide his face.
Aisu prefers to avoid bright coloured cothes, as he dislikes standing out from the crowd. On cold days he will don a jacket similiar to his usual one, with sheepskin lining and fur around the edges. If there is particlarly bad weather, and a lot of wind he may also wear a pair of goggles. If he is going to an important event, he will wear the standard ninja uniform for his village, and have his forehead protecter around his forehead as it is meant to be. He does not take to tradition much so this is one of the only times that he will wear this. Other than the cuts and scrapes that should be expected of a ninja, he bears no scars. Forehead Protector: Aisu’s Forehead protector is often kept around his leg, just below the knee Personality: Despite the nickname given to him by the village people, Aisu is not completely heartless. He lives by a strict honor code, rules that he has made up throughout his life. He believes that if you defeat someone in a battle, you may choose their fate. He would never harm anyone from his own village, or rather, not with the intent to kill. He dislikes getting help from others, believing that his pursuit of power is his alone. His respect is something reserved for senior officers, or those who have earned it.
Kindness is not something he avoids, although it is not something he uses often. He is rather polite and well mannered, if somewhat cold. However, his most distinguishing personality trait, is his cruelness. He will not show mercy, if someone asks him to stop something, he will simply ignore them. If someone tries to fight him in a spar, he will not stop until they are too injured to continue. To him, the mercy rule is nothing, if a choice is made,it must be gone through with.
Aisu has always had a particular affinity for the sea, often visiting it and simply walking around on it for a whole day. To him, it is a peaceful place, the only one in the bloody mists. From living in the streets up until now, he knows not too start direct conflicts, preferring to pick them off from a distance. He is not afraid of fighting, but he is incredibly careful, and will not challenge someone he knows he can not defeat. He, much like he does not take mercy on his foes, will not expect others to take mercy on him, and actually prefers not too be given mercy. Mercy is something that takes away ones pride, and honour to Aisu. He would rather die in a fight and be proud, than live and be ridiculed as the boy who lost. He is often rather quiet, trying his best not to draw attention towards himself. He will even go to so far as too ignore people that he dislikes or finds annoying. He uses genjutsu as he prefers his enemies to be distracted rather than focus their attention on him.
While he is rather hard to anger, Aisu can be annoyed somewhat easily. It annoys him when people speak too much, or when they think things that are stupid will work. Another example of a thing that causes annoyance to him is people unwilling to go through with their decisions. Once you start something don't stop. He dislikes people who disrespect others for no reason, although he has pretty low standards as too what a reason is. He will always obey orders and will not stray from them, even if the possible outcome is death. He will, although, not carry out orders from people of the same rank as him or ones that he deems unreasonable before he starts on them. Once he starts though, he will not stop unless ordered to.
Clan: Yuki clan Nindō: If you defeat someone, their fate is yours to decide. Strip them of their life, or strip them of their pride, it is your choice
THE NINJA. Origin: Mizu No Kuni Affiliation: Kirigakure Rank: C, Genin Specialties: First: Weaponry [Main long/ Sub short] Second: Genjutsu Elemental Affinities: Main: Water/Suiton Sub: Wind/Fuuton Advanced: Hyuton/Ice Combat Style: Aisu uses long range, stealthy tactics, for as long as possible. If it comes to a point where a close range battle is necessary, Aisu will use hit and run tactics ( Move in, Stab, move out) and use Genjutsu to attempt to escape to a longer distance. He prefers his strikes to be quick and light, preferring to cut his enemy in many places than to do lots of damage in one. A strategy that he often employs on the battlefield is using genjutsu or clones to make it seem like he is faster than he really is, thus scaring and confusing the opponent. If possilble, he will lure his opponent to a clearing, where he can attack and then retreat back into the trees. Special Characteristics: - Speed:
Name: Improved Speed Rank: C Type: Physical Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The first level in the art of speed accessible to those who have undergone intense training in high speed movement. The possessor of this talent has an increased speed of 20% which makes them slightly faster. They can cross distances quicker than others would expect and outrun others with little effort.
- One-Handed Seals:
Name: One-Handed Seals Rank: C Type: Physical Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: the ninja discovers a unique talent which allows them to mix chakra by performing seals with only one hand. With an ability such as this the ninja can fight while also performing jutsu, delivering surprise attacks to their enemies. Since those who can perform one-handed seals are naturally good at what their talents, they are even capable of performing hand seals behind themselves, leaving the enemy oblivious to the ninja's next attack.
THE BACKGROUND. History: Child Arc
As a child, Aisu was abandoned by his parents, left to the elements in Kirigakure. He grew up, never knowing his parents, and never wishing to know them. He learned how to survive without a home, only stealing when it became absolutely necessary. He had no parents, no money, and thus no home. He learnt to stay quiet, and not attract attention to yourselves. He made good relationships with the shop keepers, who gave him the meat and food that was left over at the end of the day, as long as he stayed quiet and didn't bother them. At the age of 7, he made a shortbow, which he used to hunt small animals.
Academy Arc
At the age of nine, he was caught stealing by a shopkeepers child. The child tried to fight him, although ultimately lost to Aisu, who was quite a lot stronger and faster than the other boy. The shopkeeper himself was a good-hearted man and recommended Aisu go to the academy. Aisu took his advice, and found that he excelled at weaponry in particular. Around this time, he earned his reputation as someone who was very cruel, because of a fight that he'd gotten into. The other boy had challenged him to a fight, seeing Aisu as weak, because of how quiet he was. The other boy charged at Aisu, promptly falling over and fracturing his arm on the hard packed dirt and rock. Aisu was about to slit his throat when a teacher fortunately stepped in. Aisu was punished, although he saw nothing wrong with what he had done, simply stating "If he didn't want too end the fight, he shouldn't have challenged me."
While in the academy, Aisu was often bullied and teased, although this did not worry him at all. Most of the time, his assailants would simply flee when he turned around. He was always teased from behind, as the bullies were afraid of his eyes, thinking that staring into them for too long would hurt them. Indeed, many rumours circulated that the reason the other boy had tripped was because he looked into Aisu's eyes as he was charging, thus coming under his spell. This, of course was not true at all, but Aisu did not bother clearing it up, as because of it, people avoided him. He spent most of his time practising, with his bow and his genjutsu, along with his daggers. He saw his daggers as a last resort if he really must get close to the enemy. His main goal was too confuse and shoot. He came up with his combat style gradually, and eventually came to his current style. Most of the other boys, for whatever reason, seemed to depend on brute strength, but Aisu understood that the mind is more powerful than the sword. When it got too his genin exams, Aisu had no troubles, although more than one of his fights had to be stopped by a teacher. He was capable in almost all of the forms of jutsu, although he had a particular affinity for genjutsu and bukijutsu. And so, although most of the other children feared him, Aisu made it through his genin exams with no problems, and started his life as a Kirigakure shinobi
Genin Arc
Aisu passed through his genin exams with flying colors. He was known for his speed among the other genin, as well as feared for his lack of empathy. He himself had no problems with this, and soon earned enough money to rent a house. One day, after coming home from a day of training with his old, homemade bow, he found a package on the table. After opening it, he found that it was a beautiful oak longbow. He to this day does not know who sent it, although he wishes to one day find them. He was a hard worker, and always tried his best to finish his missions on time. Of course, he was not invincible, but he considered himself to be powerful among the other genin. Roleplay Sample: ( This sample is written from the point of Kouhei Senju, a character that I use in another RP ) Kouhei walked downstairs, yawning. It was already afternoon and normally he'd be awake by now. However, today was his day off, and he could sleep in for as long as he wished. He could already hear his parents arguing downstairs. Looking back up into his room, Kouhei noticed the jar of money he kept on his bedside table. He ran back upstairs and put all the money into his wallet. He was saving this to move out with his younger sister, Millie. It was a rather untraditional name, but it was nice. He finally had enough money to move out and rent a house, if a somewhat small one. But it would suffice to move them away from their constantly fighting parents. No one had been seriously hurt yet, but it was only a matter of time really. His sister, who often tried to defend their mother, had jumped in front of her mum a few times to protect her from plates and such. "Thats it! I've had enough of this Minerva! " He heard his father yell from downstairs. Kouhei rushed downstairs, just in case his Father did something drastic. He was a retired ninja, but he still carried all the necessary tools in case something happened to the village, and he had to defend it. The scene that unfolded before Kouhei was something that he never wanted to see again. Three shuriken were flying towards his mother. However, they did not meet their intended target. His sister, hoping to protect her mother, had jumped in front of the Shuriken. His mother screamed as the shuriken hit her daughter in the chest, ripping through her dress and burying themselves deep inside her chest. Millie fell, the ghost of her last smile still etched on her face, obviously already dead.
" You Bastard! Im going to kill you! " Kouhei yelled at his father, his face showing exactly how livid he was. He drew a kunai and ran at his father, stabbing him in the stomach, and then ran outside, into the wet street.
THE ARSENAL.
- Genjutsu:
Name: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu - Mist Servant Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: - Description: Kasumi Juusha no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that creates up to 5 false attackers to delay and confuse the enemy. Though these servants are not real, the actual ninja is able to remain hidden and throw kunai and shuriken matching the movements of the servants. This makes it appear the false servants are capable of attacking. When the enemy attempts to attack the servant, they will merely disrupt the servants illusion body but not destroy it. If these clones leave 5m radius of the caster, they will disappear. Chakra Cost: 4 (1 per post)
Name: Kokohi no Jutsu - False Place Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Far (0m - 20m) Element: - Description: Kokohi no Jutsu is a simple Genjutsu technique which changes the appearance of a nearby object. The object must be within 20m of the user. Chakra Cost: 4 (1 per post)
Name: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Viewing Technique Rank: D Type: Genjutsu Medium: Single-Target Range: Line of Sight Element: - Description: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that causes its target to see a horrifying vision. The ninja will use the serpent hand seal to cause a circle of leaves to spin and envelop the target and then fall away. If the target sees these leaves, the Gen jutsu will be cast. Once cast the world will appear normal to the target until they see the illusion. Chakra Cost:4 (1 per post)
Name: Flower Petal Escape Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: - Description: If the user comes under attack, she or he can use this technique to cover her or his escape. After forming the needed hand seals, the user's body will disperse into a shower of flower petals. These petals will confuse and distract her or his opponent while she or he escapes or hides. This technique works very similarly to substitution, but can also be used to delude the enemy with more flower petal based Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu - Sly Mind Affect Technique Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Multi-Target Range: Far (0m - 25m) Element: - Description: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique which causes the target to travel around in circles. If the ninja is unable to detect the illusion very quickly, they can become exhausted mentally and physically when they are unable to reach their desired target by traveling along the same path over and over. The caster must remain in the shadows, or within 25m of the targets to maintain this Genjutsu. Only 3 people may be influenced by this Genjutsu at one time. Chakra Cost: 7 (2 per post)
Name: Magen • Jigoku Gouka no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Fire Technique Rank: C Type: Genjutsu Medium: Optical Range: Far (0m - 30m) Element: - Description: After the user forms the needed handseals, a huge ball of fire will descend from the sky to envelope his or her target. The victims of the genjutsu will believe they are being engulfed by a torrent of fire and flee their location for safety. The fireball cannot reach further than 30m. Chakra Cost: 8 (2 per post)
- Weaponry:
Name: Youji - Toothpick Rank: E Type: Weaponry Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: N/A Description: Though the toothpick looks like it might be a quirk of user’s, it actually functions as a weapon in battle. Similar to a senbon, the user can spit the toothpick at his/her opponents to injure them. He/she can also spit it at incoming projectiles to knock them away. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Ayatsuito no Jutsu - String Reeling Technique Rank: D Type: Weaponry Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: Ayatsuito no Jutsu is a technique utilizing wire. This string can be used in rappeling, or as a method to tie down and restrict the movement of an opponent. The properties of the wire also allows the user to guide fire down it with any number of Katon Jutsu. Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Hitei Mushou - Flying Nail Mist Pierce Rank: C Type: Weaponry Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Description: After forming the needed handseal, the user will emit a flying mist of small nails from his or her mouth. These small nails can travel towards his or her opponent at quite a distance and are capable of dealing minor puncture wounds. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: Kage Senbon no Jutsu - Shadow Senbon Technique Rank: D Type: Weaponry Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 1om) Element: N/A Description: This technique seems to be a variation of the Shadow Shuriken Technique, replacing shuriken with senbon. The user throws at the same time a senbon with a distracting item attached to it, and another one without it, so that the opponent will only react to the more obvious projectile and won´t notice the other senbon. However, if the opponent recognises the trick behind it, this technique is easy to evade. Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Kage Shuriken no Jutsu - Shadow Shuriken Technique Rank: D Type: Weaponry Range: Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Element: N/A Description: It's an extremely simple technique where two shuriken, like the Fūma Shuriken, are piled one onto another and thrown simultaneously. However, depending on the way it's used, it can prove its absolute efficiency. The trick is to somehow draw the enemy's attention towards the upper shuriken. Then, to deal with the path of the lower shuriken. If the enemy notices both shuriken, the technique ends up losing all of its efficiency. Chakra Cost: 3
- Academy Techniques:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
- Weapons:
Name: Short bow Rank: C Type: Main - Primary/Long Range Quantity: 1 Description: A shortbow has a stave portion of about five feet in length and was the first of such launchers to be developed. Its lightweight frame relatively small size makes it a compact and agile weapon to use. It has the ability to fire approximately 120m with effective accuracy
Name: 2x Dagger Rank: D Type: Main -Secondary/Close Range Quantity: 1 Description: A dagger is a double-edged blade used for hitting, stabbing or thrusting. Short and small, it is wielded easily in one hand, and is perfect when wishing to perform quick stabbings.
- Kit:
Name: Genin Kit Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Kyril Source: Suikoden Tactics / Rhapsodia- Video Game Image URL: http://animecharactersdatabase.com/character.php?id=40542
Last edited by MrJaffa on Mon 21 Jan 2013, 3:22 am; edited 9 times in total |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Tue 15 Jan 2013, 5:53 pm | |
| Hey there, a few things worth mentioning:
- Your image is stretching the application, please make it smaller. It is also preferred if you leave the image at the top of the application and only write about his appearances in the 'appearance' section. That also needs to be a tad bit longer than it is now.
- Quote :
- The Yuki clan possesses long silky black hair and dark brown eyes.
Your character has to follow the physical traits of the clan and have the brown eyes. I can look away from the length of his hair as that is easily cut.
- As you are applying for a clan, I wish to see a bit more writing/effort. Make the personality at least one more solid paragraph in length. You can add in things that he likes and dislikes etc.
- Please link the clan to your app.
- When describing your weaponry, please have it like this example of mine;
Specialties: First: Weaponry (Main: Long/ Sub: Short). Depending on the ranges you prefer. The spoiler you put in is not needed.
- You need to have Wind element also in order to possess the ice element. Water + wind = Ice.
- Your combat style needs to be longer. We need more specifics on how your character fights, more details. A solid paragraph is what we usually ask for.
- Your history needs to be longer. Give more descriptions of the childhood and academy days, along with his current life.
- You are lacking the academy techniques.
- You only have 11 jutsu, but can start with 15. Not something mandatory, but want to remind you of that.
-
- Quote :
- Name: Longbow Rank: B
You cannot have a weapon that is of a higher rank than your own character. It must be his own rank, or lower. (also, might be good for you to apply for arrows as well).
- You can start with a kit if you so desire. (see below if interested)
- Code:
-
[b]Name:[/b] Genin Kit [b]Rank:[/b] C [b]Quantity:[/b] 1 [b]Contents:[/b] 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
|
| | | MrJaffa
Posts : 36
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Thu 17 Jan 2013, 3:09 pm | |
| Okie. Ive fixed the combat style, personality and started on the history, will finish soon. |
| | | MrJaffa
Posts : 36
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Fri 18 Jan 2013, 3:11 am | |
| Okay, ive fixed everything except for the image, as i do not now how to fix that. The clan link is right at the bottom as i didn't know where else to put it. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Sat 19 Jan 2013, 2:18 am | |
|
- A code for you to re-size the image:
- Code:
-
<img src="URL TO IMAGE" height="XXX" width="XXX"> if you prefer, you can upload it also on Photobucket or save it in Paint and re-size it yourself. If you can't, then I can re-size it for you as that wont be a problem.
- Copy and paste this code into the clan section in the template (instead of the name you have there)
- Code:
-
[url=http://www.ultimateshinobi.org/t3155-yuki-clan]Yuki clan[/url]
- Please add a bit more to your appearance and personality, as both are still very short.
-
- Quote :
- Elemental Affinities: Main: Water/Suiton
Sub: N/A Advanced: N/A You must have misunderstood what I meant with my comment. You need to have water + wind in order to have the ice element of the clan. So just have :
Elemental Affinities: Main: Water/Suiton Sub: Wind Advanced: Ice
- Your history is still a bit too short. Add at least a paragraph more. (A paragraph is about 250 - 300 words)
- Just a note ( a very important one) if you insist on having Genjutsu and Weaponry, you wont be able to use your clan's jutsu. As it needs Ninjutsu as specialty.
|
| | | Setsugekka
Age : 28 Posts : 266
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Sat 19 Jan 2013, 2:34 pm | |
| Your application process seems to be going smoothly thanks to MsMoney. (: I just have a few things I'd like you to also rectify when you get time. - Your origin is your country, not village. That means it'd be Mizu no Kuni, not Kirigakure no Sato.
- Please link your clan in the section of the profile. You have the Yuki Clan link all the way at the bottom of the app which is easily missed. 8D
- If you need help lengthening parts of your application, don't be afraid to go into detail. Feel free to take a look at approved profiles to understand what exactly we're looking for. If you need help, you can always shot me a PM personally, another staff member, or post here.
|
| | | MrJaffa
Posts : 36
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Mon 21 Jan 2013, 2:06 am | |
| Okay, ive fixed all except for the image , which, if it isn't too much of a hassle, could you please fix it? EDIT: Thanks too clever, its now fixed. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Mon 21 Jan 2013, 3:46 am | |
| - Your combat style is a little short, but I suppose that is a nitpick thing and it is fine as it is. If you wanna add some length there, that would be cool.
- You only have, from what I counter, 11 of the 15 jutsu you can start out with as a genin. It is not required, but I suggest that you go ahead and use all of those slots.
P.S: You're welcome for the image work, it was super simple
|
| | | MrJaffa
Posts : 36
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Fri 25 Jan 2013, 3:16 am | |
| Bumpity bump bump.
|
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Thu 31 Jan 2013, 1:08 am | |
| Again, you've been told several times but you only have 11 Jutsu. You are allowed to have 15 jutsu at creation. Please keep in mind that after you are approved all further jutsu will cost EXP to purchase. I'll give you an approval though since I feel that after being told so many times and you not doing anything about it, that you are fine with only 11. So good job.
Approved 1/2
If you wish to add more jutsu just put a note that you added more and they will be looked at. If they are from the site just say so and you should have no problems. Good luck and have a wonderful day. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Thu 31 Jan 2013, 1:10 am | |
| (2/2) approved. Now go here and make your account. |
| | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] Sun 16 Jun 2013, 5:10 pm | |
| Archived. Due to inactivity.
|
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| Subject: Re: Yuki, Kuroi-Aisu [Kiri Genin] | |
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Naruto© - The Creator [ Masashi Kishimoto] Custom Characters, Equipment, Techniques, Images, etc. [Their Rightful Owners] Any creations, posts, and ideas from this site are copyrighted to their respective owners. Therefore, information may not be taken or used without their permission. Failing to abide is plagiarism.
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