| | Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] | |
| |
Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Sun 13 Oct 2013, 2:02 am | |
| Senju, HanzouTHE INFO. Name: Senju Hanzou Nickname: N/a Age: 12 Gender: Male Appearance: Hanzou has dark long hair kind of spiked up, his hair fells over his eye a little bit, dark black eyes and a typical strong and handsome body of a Senju. Hanzou normally wears a black kimono, with some white details, with black pants and ninja sandals, he wears a white belt around his waist, that is more like a rope, his cloths normally have the Senju symbol on it, normally in the back. He is really good looking, most of the girls love him even when he doesn't care about them. Sometimes he wears shorts and a shirt, normally black, grey, red or white, this are the colors that Senju Hanzou normally wears. He likes to dress good. His face looks like he is mad, he is always really serious but he knows how to take a joke.
Hanzou is 5 ft tall, he weights 95 lb. Hanzou has white skin, but not too white, he is a little tan. He has a perfect face, nothing disproporcional, he has thin eyebrowns, beutiful lips and a perfect nose. It's not a surprise that all girls in the academy were in love with him. He always looks really serious, like if he doesn't care about anything, and that makes him even more attractive to girls. He normally walks slowly with his hands at his pockets. Forehead Protector: Forehead Personality: Hanzou is a kind kid, he likes to have fun and enjoy the day. His favorite activity is to practice, he practices a lot, that makes him feel good. He was born in a important family in the Senju clan. He wants to practice and become the best shinobi that ever exist in the clan and show the village that he can be a strong and famous ninja. He is really ambitious for power. He wants to be the leader of the Senju one day. He doesn't talk a lot, only when he trust the person and is really hard for Hanzou to trust someone. Hanzou is fearless, but at the same time he is smart. He knows what he can do and what he can't do, he know his limitations. Hanzou thinks a lot, before doing something he will think a lot of times if that is his best decision.
Hanzou loves to eat, he is kinda addict to food, but somehow he doesn't get fat. He loves to work out his body and his mind, practicing is his favorite activity. He loves to read and study the shinoby history, specially when it's about his clan, the famous Senju clan. He likes to spend time with his mom, he loves her to death and he will protect her no matter what, that was his promisse to his dad before his dad died. Hanzou loves his clan, he wants to be the leader of the Senju one day and show the world the power and the wizdom of his clan.
Hanzou doesn't like to stay hungry, he hates disreaspectful people, he will not tolarate any act of disrespect around him. He doesn't like people who doesn't show respect to their superiors. He hates when people understimate his strenght, he can be young but he is consider a young prodigy of his clan and he will not tolerate people saying he is weak specially because of his age. Clan: Senju Nindō: Nobody will stop me to reach my objective.
THE NINJA. Origin: The Fire Country Affiliation: Konoha Rank: Gennin Specialities: Ninjutsu; Taijutsu. Elemental Affinities: Doton/Earth ; Suiton/Water Combat Style: Hanzou likes to study and examine his opponent before he does his move, normally he doesn't start with the first move in a fight. If he does start with the first move, that means that he already had time enough to examine his opponent. Hanzou is really careful, he will think at least 3 times before doing a move. Hanzou likes to fight with his ninjutsus and his strong taijutsu. He has the great force of the Senju, being able to take shinobis on taijutsu, and mixing with his ninjutsu of close and medium range. Hanzou will save his bets moves, he tries to be as patient as he can in a fight. If one of Hanzou partners are hurt in a fight, he will do as much as possible to help them.
Hanzou's strengths are definitely his great strength inherited by the Senju clan, and his great use of ninjutsus, specially element ninjutsus. Hanzou's first element is Doton and his second element is Suiton, but like a powerful Senju he can combine both elements and create Mokuton (Wood Release). Hanzou likes to fight with weapons too, even not being one of his specialties. He wants to be good in all types of shinobi skills.
Hanzou's weakest point is definitely his lack of skill with genjutsu. He can be good at taijutsu and ninjutsu but if he face a opponent with good genjutsu skills Hanzou would be in trouble. Hanzou's best attribute can become his worst weakness sometimes, he thinks too much before doing something and sometime that can take his attention out of the opponent, making him wide open to be attacked. Special Characteristics: - Spoiler:
Clan Mastery Name: Clan Prodigy Rank: C Type: Chakra Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: A trait given to ninja who posses a innate talent for the manipulation of clan based techniques and has trained thoroughly to improve their skill. Their power over the the clans abilities has become so considerable that the ninja is now considered a young prodigy by the clan elders. Because of this, the user's clan based attacks are 20% more destructive with their increased power and size.
THE BACKGROUND. History: Hanzou was born in Konoha, and as a Senju he lived most of his life around the Senju complex in Konoha. Since he was little he practice with his friends and with his mentor, his dad, from the Senju clan. His dad was a great shinobi of the Senju clan, he taught Hanzou all about the shinobi world, he practice Hanzou's taijutsu to a great level, but when they started practicing ninjutsu is when Hanzou really demonstrate his force. Hanzou learned the Doton element when he was only 7 and surprisingly learned his second element, Suiton, 1 year after that. His dad noticing that he was a prodigy of the clan took care of introducing him to the leaders of the clan, they notice Hanzou's talent and surround Hanzou with high protection. Hanzou showed his power to the whole clan when he learned how to control Mokuton at the age of 10.
Hanzou's father and teacher died in a secret mission when Hanzou was 11, his mission was to study a criminal group that was supposedly acting around Konoha territory, but all shinobis in that mission were killed by the criminal group, including Hanzou's dad. Hanzou loved his dad and that made him change a lot. With his dad death he had to become the man in the house, and because of this he started studying and practicing like he never did before. His dad's death made him become a really responsible man. Now Hanzou just graduated in the Ninja Academy, and as a Gennin he will start his life as a shinobi. Trying to accomplish his objectives, be one of the leaders of the Senju clan a find out who killed his dad. Roleplay Sample: Hanzou had just become a Gennin and he could not wait for his first mission. A letter was sent to Hanzou at his house, saying that he had to be at the Kage's building to get his first mission. "I just hope they don't give me a stupid mission..." Hanzou get himself ready and start walking to the Kage's building. It was a really good day outside, the sun was shinning but not too hot, with a comfortable wind blowing at Hanzous hair. Getting there the guard take Hanzou to the mission room, where a shinobi give Hanzou a scroll. Hanzou get the scroll and opens it. As he start to read his face gets a little red and he looks mad. -Are you guys serious? I was one of the strongest in my class and I deserve a better mission then this! Hanzou did not accept the "Walk the dog" mission that they gave to him, and told them to give him a better mission. The two shinobis that were standing there didn't like Hanzou attitude at all, but the little kid kept insisting in a better mission. -I can handle a C-Rank Mission, you have to trust me! I can... While the little kid was talking another shinobi runs into the room and screams. -We just got robbed! A criminal is running away with a really valuable item from our village, and we don't have any ninjas available for the mission!
Hanzou hearing what the ninja had to say look at the two shinobis infront of him and says. -Give me this mission, I can go after him right now! I won't fail! The two shinobis look at each other, thinking if it would be a good idea. Suddenly one of the shinobis smile a look to the little Hanzou. -Alright, you convince me kid, I will trust you but please you have to promise me that you will come back alive! Hanzou smiles and holding his fist closed infront of his face he says with a loud tone. -You can have my word! Hanzou turns to the other ninja that knew about the thief and said. -Please come with me and tell me everything you know about the stole item and the thief.
Both Hanzou and the ninja leave the office running outside, while running the ninja go telling Hanzou more information about the mission. -We are not sure who is the thief, but I have information saying that he is a very skilled ninja with fire techniques, so be careful. And make sure to bring the item safe back to the village, it is a really expensive item. He went this way! Good luck! Said the ninja pouting to the Silent Selena Forest. Hanzou thanked him and continue his way looking for the thief. "I won't fail!"
THE ARSENAL. Academy
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Doton
- D-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu - Double Suicide Decapitation Technique
Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. The ninja will travel through the ground to appear below their target. They will then surprise their target by then pulling them into the ground. Once in the ground their target is thus immobilized. Chakra Cost: 4
- C-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Dochuu Senkou - Underground Submarine Voyage
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Dochuu Senkou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. After forming the needed hand seals, the user can sink below ground and quickly travel through the earth. Chakra Cost: 6 (2 per post) - Quote :
- Name: Doro Gaeshi - Mud Overturn
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Doro Gaeshi is a defensive Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. After striking the ground with their hands, a large wall of earth will rise into place as defense. The defense is not perfect though, a hard or drilling impact can puncture the wall. Chakra Cost: 6 - Quote :
- Name: Doryuusou - Earthen Rising Spears
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: This technique lets the user condense mud or stone, from the ground, and shape them into spikes that will protrude from the ground in order to skewer the target. The spikes are brittle, and can be broken with a strong blow or tough defense. Chakra Cost: 7 - Quote :
- Name: Retsudo Tenshou - Revolving Split Earth Palm
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Retsudo Tenshou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. This technique allows the ninja to control nearby stone and rock. When the ninja forms the needed handseals and slams their palm to the ground, surrounding rock will begin to churn and twist up crushing all those trapped within it. Chakra Cost: 9
SUITON
- C-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Haran Banshou - Stormy Upheaval
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Suiton (Water) Description: This technique allows the user to summon a large volume of water; roughly the size of a waterfall, crushing it into the opponent. If needed, the user can cancel the technique in just an instant. Chakra Cost: 8 - Quote :
- Name: Daibakuryuu no Jutsu - Great Exploding Current Technique
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Suiton (Water) Description: In order to use this technique, the user must first be on top of water (lake, sea, etc). Then, after preforming the needed hand seals a vortex of water will form, sucking anything on the surface above it down to the depths below. This can possibly drown the opponent. Chakra Cost: 6 (1 per post) - Quote :
- Name: Water Release: Water Drowning Technique
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Suiton (Water) Description: The ninja first does a string of hand seals, which causes a column of water to rise from a nearby water source. It can be guided to strike a target in a number of angles. Chakra Cost: 5 (1 per post)
Mokuton
- D-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Mokuton: Henge | Wood Release: Transformation
Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m) Element: Mokuton (Wood Release) Description: Mokuton: Henge is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Senju clan. This jutsu is just like any other Transformation Technique. The user performs the necessary hand seals, then wood emerges and covers his entire body and a puff of smoke or chakra covers up the transformation. Once the jutsu is done, the transformation is complete. It acts more like a costume than a transformation, as the user is able to leave it behind if necessary. This transformation is able to withstand a reasonable amount of damage before dispersing. Chakra Cost: 3CP - Quote :
- Name: Mokuton: Gosunkugi Enjin | Wood Release: Wood Spike Ring
Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Element: Mokuton (Wood Release) Description: Mokuton: Gosunkugi Enjin is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Senju clan. In order for this technique to work the user must have their target surrounded in wood. The user forms spikes on their wood which surrounds their target in a spiked rings, preventing them from making sudden movements or even performing a substitution escape mechanic. Chakra Cost: 4CP
- C-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Mokuton: Semaijurin no Jutsu | Wood Release: Small Forest Technique
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Element: Mokuton (Wood Release) Description: Mokuton: Daijurin no Jutsu is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Senju clan.A technique that changes one's own arm into big trees. Using chakra, the tissues are transformed into trees at the cellular level. Then, by activating the trees, stimulating them to grow rapidly, they lengthen at high speed and fork into many branches. It is possible to capture the enemy with these branches and at the same time, these branches, though not sharp, are still capable of performing ranged blunt damage. Though a powerful technique, it's not capable of destroying a solid surface very easily, and is a beginner's version of Mokuton: Daijurin no Jutsu Chakra Cost: 8CP (2 per post) - Quote :
- Name: Mokuton: Shichūrō no Jutsu | Wood Release: Four Pillars Prison Technique
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m ~ 5m) Element: Mokuton (Wood Release) Description: Mokuton: Shichūrō no Jutsu is a ninjutsu technique used by the members of the Senju clan. This technique lets the user summon a tree around their opponent to bind them. The user changes chakra into timber under the ground and makes it grow rapidly, while forming it into a wooden prison. The size of the prison is five meters in each side, making it capable of containing multiple individuals if used in one spot. The timber itself is treated with a chakra coating, making its destruction extremely difficult. During war, it has the great ability to detain prisoners, but it can also be used as a disciplinary measure for quarreling subordinates. Chakra Cost: 8CP
TAIJUTSU
- D-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance
Rank: D Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: Konoha Kage Buyou is a Taijutsu technique that is used to position a ninja's opponent into a vulnerable aerial position. The ninja will first quickly appear below their opponent, then with a switch upper kick they will launch their target into the air. The ninja will then jump into the air to "shadow" the target with the target's back to their chest. This move is used before preforming "Omote Renge - Front Lotus" or "Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo". Chakra Cost: 4
- C-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo
Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: The user first uses the "Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance" to manuever his/her opponent in a vulnerable aerial position. While shadowing his/her opponent, the user will attempt to strike them from a vulnerable angle. If he/she is unable to make a clean strike, he/she will strike anyway as a feint, to draw his/her target's attention and defense to one area. The user can then strike the undefended area and begin knocking them downwards towards the ground. As the enemy falls back to the earth, the user will deftly rotate his/her body around to deliver a full force kick to their chest. Chakra Cost: 7
NINJUTSU
- C-Rank:
- Quote :
- Name: Chakra Kyuuin Jutsu - Chakra Absorption Technique
Rank: C-S Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: After activitating the technique, the user's hand will glow with chakra. When he or she touches his or her palm on his or her opponents body, the user can withdraw the physical and spiritual energy out of them. By reducing their chakra, it greatly increases the user’s advantage over his or her opponent. Chakra Cost: Costs the User: C (5) | Takes From Target: D (4) Costs the User: B (10) | Takes From Target: C (9) Costs the User: A (20) | Takes From Target: B (15) Costs the User: S (35) | Takes From Target: A (25)
Ninja Kit
- Ninja Kit:
Name: Genin Kit Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1]. Total: 32
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Young Uchiha Madara Source: Naruto Image URL: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/074/0/c/madata_by_uchihasasuke131-d5y3p72.png
Last edited by Hanzou on Mon 21 Oct 2013, 10:12 pm; edited 8 times in total |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Sun 13 Oct 2013, 3:31 am | |
| Do you have admin approval to apply for an Uchiha?
If not, you will need to pm Adam (you have to have 15 posts though to pm) or write a topic in the Forum Assistance. |
| | | Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Wed 16 Oct 2013, 6:41 am | |
| Alright when is someone going to say something about this? I send two PM's to Adam and he didn't answer any of them I just wanna start playing |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Wed 16 Oct 2013, 7:29 am | |
| I'm sure he will answer when he can. A little patience can sometimes be good I'll try to see if I can't speed things up a little bit.
If you want to work on your application until then, then I recommend making your personality, appearance, history, combat style and role play sample bigger. If you want a clan, I expect at least two paragraphs of appearance and personality, a detailed history, two paragraphs of combat style and the role play sample needs to be at least 250 words.
I also want to point out that you cannot have Jutsu that aren't within your specialities. So you are not allowed to have Fuuinjutsu and Taijutsu jutsus if you specialize in Ninjutsu and Genjutsu.
If you'd rather not work on things until you get an answer about the clan, then I understand that but there should be some things at least that you can work on that would not depend on the Uchiha clan if you wont get it. |
| | | Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Wed 16 Oct 2013, 9:03 am | |
| I edited my history, combat style and my RP sample. I don't know what else to say on my personality and my apperence, I think I put everything there, its good to me. My history is really complete too. My RP sample, I actually complete half a mission right there lol My combat style is really detailed too now.
About the specialties, I can only have two, that is why I chose those two.
|
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Wed 16 Oct 2013, 7:01 pm | |
| Did you receive word from Adam? You have been denied to get an Uchiha, so take your time and figure out what else you want to do.
And I know you can only have two specialities, but I am telling you that you can only have Jutsu within the two specialities that you pick. So if you have Ninjutsu and Genjutsu, you can't have Taijutsu and Fuuinjutsu in your jutsu list.
You are also missing your Special Characteristic, but it's of course up to you if you want to start with one or not.
You can add tons to your appearance and personality, and I do require more of a length in both those categories. |
| | | Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Fri 18 Oct 2013, 3:33 am | |
| where is a list of clans that I CAN join? |
| | | BK-201
Posts : 1729
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Fri 18 Oct 2013, 3:34 am | |
| What in the hell are you going on about now? Stop wasting my time. |
http://www.ultimateshinobi.org/t3228-clan-information
Long as it doesn't have an "Admin Permission" affixed to it somewhere, these clans are good. |
|
| | | Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Fri 18 Oct 2013, 6:15 am | |
| Edited, I want to be a Senju |
| | | Ashin
Age : 30 Posts : 356
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Sat 19 Oct 2013, 7:20 pm | |
| - MsMoney wrote:
If you want to work on your application until then, then I recommend making your personality, appearance, history, combat style and role play sample bigger. If you want a clan, I expect at least two paragraphs of appearance and personality, a detailed history, two paragraphs of combat style and the role play sample needs to be at least 250 words.
This was not a suggestion. The above mentioned things must be increased to the provided specifications. Once that's done, I also noticed your missing Academy Justu, which don't count towards your jutsu total. Your also missing your Kit, something I would heavily advise you create. Kits can be found Here. |
| | | Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Sun 20 Oct 2013, 10:17 pm | |
| edited |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Sun 20 Oct 2013, 11:49 pm | |
| - Quote :
- If you want to work on your application until then, then I recommend making your personality, appearance, history, combat style and role play sample bigger. If you want a clan, I expect at least two paragraphs of appearance and personality, a detailed history, two paragraphs of combat style and the role play sample needs to be at least 250 words.
This does still stand. Your appearance and personality still don't even reach 200 words. I expect more work done here. You can add all sorts of things: Height, weight, describe facial features, describe body type etc etc. And to the personality you can add likes and dislikes, what ticks him off and what he loves etc etc.
- Please link your clan to your app, using the code I provide below:
- Code:
-
[url=http://www.ultimateshinobi.org/t3156-senju-clan]Senju Clan[/url] - Origin is supposed to be country.
- I'd like some more added to your combat style, give details on his weaknesses and strengths for an example.
- You have a broken spoiler code in your Special Characteristics.
- There are some grammar errors here and there, especially in your history. I'd like it if you could read over your app (possibly copy paste your text into an app that will show you what words are wrong) and fix things up a little bit.
- The history is a bit clustered. If you want, you can use bulletins instead of writing a full paragraph. But if you prefer the method you use now, then please separate the history into at least two paragraphs and try not to let things be too clustered or confusing.
- You cannot start with a kit that you have made yourself. I will put here below the kit you can start with.
- Code:
-
[b]Name:[/b] Genin Kit [b]Rank:[/b] C [b]Quantity:[/b] 1 [b]Contents:[/b] 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1]. - In the face claim section we require an actual link to the image.
- Also, you can start with a medium sized scroll and two small scrolls.
Seeing as you are going to claim the young version of Uchiha Madara, then keep in mind that you might have to change your character's image and face claim as he grows older, since the older version of that face claim is already in use. |
| | | Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Mon 21 Oct 2013, 2:29 am | |
| I think I got everything lol Tell me if there is anything I need to fix. Thank you for the help! |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Mon 21 Oct 2013, 6:46 pm | |
| Alright, I can appreciate that you have worked with me and made your things much longer than they were in the beginning. The only thing I'd ask you to do now, would be to actually separate the paragraphs so that they are easier to read for others.
Approved 1/2.
Another mod will look at this application when they have time, if you are kept waiting for 48 hours or longer then there is a thread you can post in: Topic check
Good luck with getting yourself approved, and have fun. |
| | | Hanzou
Posts : 30
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Mon 21 Oct 2013, 10:12 pm | |
| Done, fixed the paragraphs, now should be everything right.
Waiting for approval. Thank you. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Tue 22 Oct 2013, 2:41 pm | |
| Approved 2/2.
Make an account here. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] Sun 05 Jan 2014, 9:23 pm | |
| Archived due to inactivity. |
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Senju, Hanzou [Konoha Genin] | |
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