Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin]

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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 01 May 2010, 3:04 am

Name: Ryuugo Kaguya

Secondary Title:


Age:
14
Gender:
Male
Physical Appearance:
Ryuugo stands at an average five feet, eight inches and weighs about sixty kilograms making him rather tall, he is incredibly muscular due to his intense training and is known to be very pale even for a Sunagakure-Nin. Ryuugo has deep blue eyes which seem to pierce in to your soul when he looks at you. Ryuugo doesn't seem to have eyebrows. Ryuugo has a long, slender nose and very strong cheekbones. Ryuugo has very small ears, which he hides under his hair. Ryuugo seems to always have an emotionless look on his face always trying to hide his expression. Ryuugo has a light blue, tatoo of his clan symbol on the left of his forehead.

Ryuugo usually wears a a short sleeve black shirt with red seems and matching trousers. Over the shirt he wears a sleeveless flak jacket. On his left arm is a tatoo of a small black crow. Ryuugo wears a large overcoat, which is a biege colour except for a few white clouds along the bottom. The coat has an exceptionally high collar which goes up to just underneath Ryuugo's eyes. The coat is opened with a zip which is kept up all the way up to the bottom of Ryuugo's neck. Around his neck, Ryuugo wears a green headband with an hourglass like symbol around his neck. Ryuugo has very mess, grey spiky hair. On his left arm, a few centimeters under the tatoo is a sleeve like arm band attached to him by a silver ring which clips around his arm, keeping the sleeve in place. Ryuugo keeps that arm hidden as it is somewhat disfigured due to his constant use of his kekkei genkai. The arm despite being like an average arm in a sense has multiple bones protruding from it, making it look skeletal in nature. Ryuugo doesn't tend to use that arm except for handseals.
Personality:
Ryuugo seems to be rather emotionless and rarely smiles, Ryuugo has a lot of pride for his village and believes the Kazekage to be some sort of god and would lay down his life to protect him. Ryuugo also believes that weakness is something pitiful and should be wiped out. Ryuugo despite not being very good at communicating with other humans tends to be at ease with animals. Ryuugo enjoys quiet, tranquil places and tends to meditate for hours on end in the middle of the sandy dessert.

Ryuugo is known to be very brutal in the heat of battle, using whatever means neccesary to kill his opponent and doesn't care about honour. Ryuugo is very quick to defend his village no matter what they do, Ryuugo believes it to be right. Ryuugo seems to be heartless and emotionless but it is due to the death of his parents, having nobody to care for him for so many years the only role model he could look up too was the Kazekage. Ryuugo is incredibly intelligent and tends to slowly circle his opponent in battle analysing them before he makes his move. Despite his age, one would be a fool to call him inexperienced and he is known to be wise beyond his years. Ryuugo is considered quite intimidating due to being from the feared Kaguya clan and for his stature, Ryuugo is known to get incredibly angry with those that oppose him.

Ryuugo has one goal in life which is convince his fellow peers to lead an attack on Kirigakure for persecuting his ancestors and would happily kill off a fellow Kaguya just for being loyal to the Mizukage. Ryuugo tends to keep his plans secret and doesn't like socialising or halting his training unless it was something extremely important such as a Meeting with the Kazekage.

Clan Information

Clan Name: Kaguya

Clan Location: Kiri

Clan Traits: -

Kekkei Genkai:
Shikotsumyaku

The main capabilities of Shikotsumyaku is allowing the user to manipulate their bones' growth. This allows them to create weapons of bones that can either protrude from any part of the body, or pulled out and used like hand held weapons. They can even fire pieces of their bones as long-ranged projectiles. Any bone that they remove from the body immediately regenerates, as does the skin that is damaged when the bones are removed. Users can increase the density of the created bones, making them stronger than steel. This not only makes the created weapons very powerful, but also makes their bodies virtually indestructible.

In all actuality there ability to manipulate bones does not come directly from their KKG but is the more prominet result of their bloodlines true ability, which also explains there capabilities. In reality The Kaguya are capable of controling and increasing the calcium in their bodies. This translates quite easy into bone manipulation as bones are made up mostly by calcium. This is why bone manipulation is not considered an advanced element

Catch Phrase:
“Pitiful Weakling!”
"Lord Kazekage, (followed by another sentennce)


Special Information:

Character Speciality:
Main: Taijutsu
Sub: Ninjutsu
Elemental Affinity:
Main: Fuuton
Sub: Raiton
Special Characteristics:
Nondescript
The character is naturally difficult to pick out of a crowd. Those who meet him in person are seldom left with a strong impression. If someone bothers to get his name, they soon forget it. The character must go to outlandish extremes or commit spectacular acts to be remembered

Light Sleeper
The character is very light sleeper. Any noise at all will instantly awaken him to a state of full alert. The character is no easier to sneak up on while asleep than he is when he is awake

Faith
The character has a deep and abiding faith to sustain him. Ryuugo puts a lot of his trust in the Kazekage and in the village, looking to them when their is a problem ahead. Ryuugo believes that without Sunagakure, he would have nowhere else to stay and would have died thus believes the glorious village to be a gift from the heavens.

Skill Information:
Note: You can find the other templates in the other Creation Areas if your character needs them.
Taijutsu

Spoiler:
Kekkei Genkai
Spoiler:

Fuuton Ninjutsu
Spoiler:
Raiton Ninjutsu
Spoiler:
Other Jutsu
Spoiler:

Rank Information:

Rank:
Chuunin/B-Rank
Village Affiliation:
Sunagakure


Last edited by Rahim on Fri 21 May 2010, 9:33 pm; edited 48 times in total
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 01 May 2010, 3:49 pm

History
Pre-Academy Arc (0-10)
Spoiler:
Academy Arc (10-12)
Spoiler:
Genin Arc (12-13)
Spoiler:
Chuunin(13+)
Spoiler:

RP Sample
Spoiler:


Last edited by Rahim on Fri 21 May 2010, 9:30 pm; edited 9 times in total
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 01 May 2010, 6:21 pm

Name: Shishimaru
Rank: B (Increases as he grows older)
Appearance: Shishimaru stands at roughly five feet tall, making him much larger than your average human. Shishimaru has glorious white fur, which is pristine and rarely gets dirty. Shishimaru has a long golden mane and incredibly sharp fangs. When Shishimaru begins to use Raiton jutsu, it changes to a blue colour and seems to flow like electricity.
Contract Type: Blood Donation
Species: Lion
Elemental Affinity: Raiton
Special Abilities/Characteristics:
- Shishimaru can speak
- Shishimaru is much stronger than an average human and much faster because he is a lion.

Background: Shishimaru was taught how to use the Summoning Technique when he became a Chuunin, the Contract with the lions once belonged to his deceased father. Shishimaru is the son of the head of the Lion Summons and usually resides high in the mountains near Kumogakure. Most of the adult lions tend to feel hostile around humans and judge them in strength but when he was summoned he was only a cub and grew closer to Ryuugo.
Summons Jutsu:

Name: Lightning Cannon
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: Shishimaru will begin to fire spheres of electricty from his mouth rapidly (firing about 20) out in random directions, though not fatal the spheres can break small rocks and objects, good for clearing an area.

Name: Thunder Fang
Rank: B
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: The user will begin to channel Raiton chakra through their teeth and then they will clamp down on an object sending a surge of energy through it, if used on an area with an existing wound the opponent's muscles will spasm for 1 post.

Name: Mane of Thunder
Rank: B
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: Shishimaru's mane will spike up and fire out hundreds of tiny bolts of hair with Raiton chakra running through it, the technique is incredibly painful and is hard to evade.


Last edited by Rahim on Fri 21 May 2010, 9:30 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Hiruzen
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Age : 32
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 01 May 2010, 7:40 pm

i shouldnt post here, but Jounin is full
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 01 May 2010, 8:03 pm

Is it?
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CYANIDE CANDY
CYANIDE CANDY

Posts : 1084

Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySun 02 May 2010, 3:00 am

Jounin is not full, but you'll need approval from the Raikage.
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Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySun 02 May 2010, 8:57 pm

Jounin is 16 minimum. Gaara was the original kazekage, 250 years ago if you read the Suna guide. Any other canon character references will need to be taken out.

Your RP sample is a block post. I would much prefer it was seperated into paragraphs, it makes it easier to read on everyone.

Jounin permission needed from the Kazekage.

Until you get his permission, I wont go over the rest of the application.
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySun 02 May 2010, 9:17 pm

I chaged it, and I'll see if the Kazekage thinks its good enough. I'll improve it if neccesary.
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

Age : 30
Posts : 1701

Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyMon 03 May 2010, 12:06 am

Physical appearance could be a bit longer. Two paragraphs on the larger side =]

get rid of the term "Electrocuted" from any jutsu. It actually means to die by electricity, not just get zapped =]
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyMon 03 May 2010, 11:18 pm

bump
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Travis
Travis

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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyTue 04 May 2010, 12:04 am

Contact the Kage of the village. Do not bump until permission is given. It'd be pointless to review the app if we are gonna have to make you strip half of it if you don't get the Jounin spot.
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyTue 04 May 2010, 12:25 am

I have permission, what makes you think otherwise? Huh?
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyTue 04 May 2010, 12:29 am

*rolls eyes* Prove you have permission.
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Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyTue 04 May 2010, 12:32 am

You have permission to TRY. Not to actually take the position. Big difference.
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyTue 04 May 2010, 1:03 am

Well, what a stupid question. Hugh hasn't been on in 2 days, obviously he hasn't checked the app yet and if only he can approve, why do you bother?
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Pattycakes
Pattycakes

Age : 30
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyTue 04 May 2010, 1:06 am

*rolls eyes* just cool your pants and wait for Jiro
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Hugh
Hugh

Age : 37
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyThu 06 May 2010, 1:52 am

Sorry I have been ill so haven't been active

Incorruptible & Faith SC’s should be expanded to explain why your character has them. Needn’t be long but I would like to know how they relate to your character

You seem to have no clan info. Add it please. There is no reason it should be excluded especially given all you need to is copy and paste it from the cannon clan thread

Jutsu – For All Jutsu please code properly. I expect the best from my Jounin and a min req is a meeting core standards:

Tai: Potentially add some more Tai (you ought to have more for a Jounin) and remove all unrelated erroneous references such as Raikage

Fuu: Add English names to all jutsu and more erroneous references this time to people like Jariaya. I am a little worried by your choice of second spec which seems to be tacked on. Your Fuuinjutsu show no originally and use the limited and rather weak cannon seals that exist. The best Fuu apps rely almost entirely on original work to take adv of the unique yet underdeveloped spec. Your selection is frankly worse then Caranores, who is a genin. I suggest you either redevelop your Fuu and consult Fuu users on the matter or pick a spec your familiar enough. Currently it seems like a waste of spec, Fuu is good but only when you invest time developing it, otherwise it’s perhaps the worse spec of all.

Please using coding on your Summon too

With your history needs to bear in mind the my characters only been kage for 12 years so wouldn't have been kage until your PC reached 4

Hmm your app is closer to chuunin then Jounin to be fair. Poor coding, failing to editing Jutsu appropriately and general lack of original Jutsu suggest to me that while you have some experience its not quite there yet at least on US (where standards are high). The biggest problem is the Fuuinjutsu which feels largely tacked on with a small bunch of all cannon techs that I can tell you from experience are generally not very practical. However the history was interesting enough and I did think your rp sample was good so its left me at a quandary. I am not going to give you blanket consent but I do give you consent to continue working on the app while I make up my mind. I suggest you follow all the changes suggested and comments mentioned in this post. I should state that if I decide not to you will be asked to consider one of are vacant chuunin’s position. In short the app has good aspects but to get a Jounin place I need it to be good top to bottom
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyThu 06 May 2010, 8:34 pm

I shall add everything, sorry about no clan info. I accidently deleted the app on saturday and forgot to add the clan info again. I shall change to Ninjutsu as I can expand on the kekkei genkai. I'm not sure about more tai, I might make more bone related ones.
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CYANIDE CANDY
CYANIDE CANDY

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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyFri 07 May 2010, 4:42 am

Please fix your coding in your Taijutsu area and Fuuton area.
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptyFri 07 May 2010, 10:04 am

I have improved it, what do you think Hugh?
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CYANIDE CANDY
CYANIDE CANDY

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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 08 May 2010, 12:22 am

Before Hugh looks over this again, just thought I'd tell you seeing as your Jounin and have a creature, that you should have this jutsu.

Quote :
Name: Kuchiyose no Jutsu - Summoning Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: A powerful jutsu, Ninpo Kuchiyose allows a ninja to summon animals, objects and the dead to fight on their behalf. There are many ways in which the ninja can sign a contract with a summon but it is usually done with the ninja signing a blood contract with the animal species. This allows the user to summon different size and skilled animals to fight along side them, or on their behalf.
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 08 May 2010, 12:48 am

I do, don't I? Thanks anyways
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Jsalos
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 08 May 2010, 6:55 am

Quote :
Name: Raiton Engai no Jutsu
Rank: A
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: The user’s body is surrounded by an electric shield from the user’s, which can protect the user from Taijutsu. Any one who tries to hit him will be electrocuted and sent back. However, if the Taijutsu is powerful enough, then it can break through. Also, Hyuuga techniques can penetrate this shield. This will last for one post, due to the nature of the technique, and the user is rendered immobile.

How does this affect oncoming ninjutsu, or is it a taijutsu only defense?

Quote :
Name: Raiton Kago no jutsu
Rank: A
Type: Lightning
Element: Raiton
Description: First the user concentrates their chakra into a ball of lightning above their head. The ball is of moderate size, like a dodgeball. This will begin to rotate, and each successful turn, a small bar of lightning will be propelled forth in any direction the user chooses. This is very fast. This jutsu may be used for defense for it is very hard get past the bars. It also is very effective at dispersing large crowds around you.

What do you mean by a bar? How big is it? Add a chakra drain for each continous post of usage.

Quote :
Name: Grand Thunder Storm
Rank: A
Type: Lightning
Element: Raiton
Description: Ryuugo will blow out a gust of wind while Shishimaru will send out pulses of electricty from his mouth, once the two techniques connect a gust of wind carrying electricty will travel at great speeds away from the user, this technique is incredibly difficult to evade and once it hits it can tear through the opponent's flesh.

Illogical: the wind would not help nor enchance the lightning, it would cancel it out, the way wind techniques cancel out lightning ones of equal or lower rank.
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySat 08 May 2010, 10:22 am

Umm, it says Taijutsu for a reason and I removed the second technique, I have way too many A-Ranks and I don't really need it and I changed the attack. It's ready to be checked again now.
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Rahim
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Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] EmptySun 09 May 2010, 1:37 pm

BUMP
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PostSubject: Re: Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Kaguya, Ryuugo [Suna Chuunin] Empty

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