Jealousy is especially ugly when they are pretty.

Posts : 757

When Shinjin left lunch, his walk back towards his rented room had been plagued by many adversities. He constantly felt as if things with Mari were going to be impossible to fix. She was much older than he was, and not just physically. Her mind was raucous with thoughts about security of her life, things that Shinjin would have to try to provide, things that a man could do naturally. Even through the short-lived argument they'd had, he still wanted to find a position in which he could advocate her as a future Queen of more than just children. A status in which she felt in control. If Shinjin knew anything about women then he knew that they were emotional creatures, but they needed much more 'I love you' to stand beside a man.

Mari would have to let go of his age as a factor. The Shikyo clan would have to start from humble beginnings, Shinjin was not as affluent as Mari and Okoki were. Living in the Mist Village would afford them land to build upon and room to grow, but it would not be easy as pulling up a chair and issuing orders. In fact, if Mari was expecting to do such she would be alone in a room full of cobwebs and darkness. Being originally from the Lightning Country -at least Shinjin's father was- gave the trio something in common. They would not have to worry about any strange idiosyncrasy between them. Each one of them were trained in shinobi and they both were ready to revive the Shikyo. They saw the big picture. The tricky part was getting everyone to look at the same picture.

But how could he cross the waters of animosity that stood between him and Mari's feet? She would rather stir the water with her toes and test the coldness of it, and admire how she would look in a bathing suit. Imagery was important to her, a woman needed to look beautiful in her mind. Shinjin saw it only as a test to learn how long he could hold his breath and how deep he could go. But that water needed to be crossed sooner than later, and in both options neither of them had decided to simply walk across the top. A ninja should not let such borders become stringent roadblocks.

As distraught as he was he could only hope that Mari would come around to the idea sooner or later, despite their initial argument. He arrived at his room with plenty of time before dark, opened his door with the key and thought twice about whether he wanted to go out again. It would be nice to walk under the evening sky and enjoy the view, to see places that he would not see for a while. To simply enjoy the fact that he had the freedom to do it was enough, but he decided against it. The key turned smoothly inside of the lock and Shinjin opened the door. A ghost of cold wind raced into his face, shocking little beads of warm sweat that were now frighteningly chilly. He looked to his single bed, stacked high in white sheets with someone lying in them. Mari.

“You're here...” he slowly closed the door behind him.

“Well that much is obvious isn't it? Now come sit by me...”

She lightly tapped the edge of the bed as if the cotton used to make it were exorbitantly priced. Shinjin felt weird. His muscles did not trust her and they moved slow as if they were atrophied. He couldn't summon the strength for some reason, but at the same time his mind felt that she wasn't so much of a threat. Here she was, in his room asking him to sit after they just had and argument over their future relationship. She was obviously trying to make up, but the ostentatious new set of clothing she was wearing made him assume that she wasn't totally innocuous. Shinjin compromised and came halfway and sat in a chair across from the bed to sooth his turbulent distrust.

“Oh, really now? You won't even sit by your future wife?” she pouted.

“Mari...” he said, and then was cut off.

“Oh be quiet boy...” they shared a quick glance, but it was obvious she meant no foul play by calling him a boy again.

“Here's the thing with me. Without telling you too much about my back story you can assume how I grew up. My parents were prostitutes... That doesn't mean I had a father either because I was raised by lesbians. Those women taught me everything wrong and right about men, so I naturally have a lack of distrust for men and I see them as objects to control...”

Mari went into her purse and pulled out a neatly folded set of papers and tossed it his way. She gave him the open invitation to unfold it and look at what secrets had been tucked away. To his surprise there was more than one paper, several of them in fact. But to be surprised by mere papers was not enough, it was what was on the paper that was important. The pictures and images... The first two were pictures of men blindfolded with their business ties, tucked between her naked legs. There were also some more sexually nefarious pictures of men with exposed rears in the air tied down by some type of rope that she held like a whip. The last few of the pictures were definitely not for anyone’s eyes, no matter the age because Shinjin almost wanted to turn away. He made short work of the pictures and handed them back to her. Amongst each picture there had been one reoccurring thing besides kinky bondage. It was the fact that she had placed their identification next to them in the picture. One was Kumogakures top banker, a rich and successful man. A couple of others had been priests from a mega-church. The last one was a medley of photo id's that she took from a high council that dabbled in shinobi affairs. All of them subjugated by her desires.

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“You see, I can't do this to you. I know you're assuming that this is just blackmail that I've worked up on these men but it's not. These are honest working men that didn't even get the chance to sleep with me. Those first two pictures, the ones in between my thighs... I had not even let them look nor touch 'me'. All of these were easily done. Maybe about fifteen minutes top with each guy. Anyhow, you're so young that I can't do this to you. I can't control you like I know how to control all men. I can't make you beg by just giving you advances. This is like taking chakra away in the middle of a fight. It's devastating. I control my wealth by controlling men. It's what I've done best and I've become a successful, educated woman because of it. I know you're going to say something like there is no male or female between ninja, and that gender doesn’t mean anything. But that's wrong. It means a lot. I've finally taken that meaning and twisted it around to my favor and made it beg to lick me. Yet here you are, totally immune to all of that.”

Shinjin did not know this type of helplessness. He could easily fit the pieces of this puzzle together to view the picture of how it felt, but it was simply too foreign for him. Mari definitely had her own problems to deal with, but he felt that this was a problem that stemmed not from any beanstalk but rather a weed. Mari's life had been ruined by men in a way, and now she was seeing to it that she returned the favor. A cycle of revenge, perpetuating the issue further, picking at a scab that needed time to heal. She was no good to him. What value could someone see in a person as trivial as this? Shinjin was not a 'genius' by any sense of the word, but he did have a single trait that he exercised daily. Common sense. Mari had defeated herself, which meant that Shinjin now could defeat her. No, to defeat someone only meant control over a specific period of time. Losing a battle without further control only made your opponent stronger. Shinjin now had the tools to see how Mari worked. To see the inner-weaving of a human is to learn the ability to rule them.

He began to question certain things. What if, for instance Mari had come here not to apologize, but to do the same thing he was going to do to her? Mari had to be educated, yes, but she had implied it in a way that assumed something else. She meant to say that she had taken a couple of business administration classes in a college. To fold his opinion and structure it a certain way so his opinion of her would be a shape different than what it really was. Why would such a woman who wanted power over men come out and say such things? Showing her hand. If that was the case then Mari had counted the cards. She had shown her weak hand and told Shinjin that his hand must be stronger than hers, so by all means end it now. Mari was pulling him into a false sense of immunity. He was not safe from her, in fact it was the opposite of that. Mari was the common cold and Shinjin was an indigenous tribe. She sought to wipe him out. This was all her game. Well played, but it's my turn now.

“Look, Mari... We have hardships ahead of us but we should set aside our differences and work together. Okoki and I really hit it off after you left. I was abrasive, yes. But that doesn't change the fact that my father chose you for me. Despite your history I trust his judgment even more so than my own.”

Shinjin's move had not advanced the game at all, it was blatantly obvious that he was stalling with a response that would hide his attempt at playing. He couldn't let her know that he had even figured out this was a game in the first place. A simple minded person might think, why had Shinjin not simply asked how his father had come to choose her in the first place? How could Mari sit upon a throne with a story such as hers? A daughter of two lesbian prostitutes? Is that really queen material? Rightly, no. Of course it wasn't. Mari liked to toy with people though, to play games and take risks. It was easy to see that much. But why? Why was the question he needed to answer.

“Well I see you are just like Shinran. Set in your ways and as stubborn as ever. But I would not have told you these secrets about me if I did not want something in return. You must give me something to hold me over Shinjin. In all of my experiences with men I have always gotten something out of them. Will you promise to give me something?”

She might as well have asked him did he promise to step on an earth spike, or march high knee into a fireball technique. Shinjin almost wanted to shout, what for? Give it up! It's over. You're mines and you're stuck with me! Mari had already subconsciously acknowledged Shinjin has her husband and King the moment she decided to come to lunch. This game was getting old. Shinjin would not promise her anything in the nature that she had asked. Why did she even want him to promise in the first place?

The answer came quicker than normal because now Shinjin had an idea. Mari just might be a poor ol' gal raised by a couple of scissoring dykes. Everything about her began to compile. Each thought came together. Did she want something emotional back because she had given something? A trade? Hmph. This woman wanted to feel as if she had something secret about him. Not as a weapon but rather the thought of it as a weapon. A threat that simultaneously turned itself into power. It is why she recorded the identities in the pictures of her subjects. There was a certain status associated with it. Mari was tagging her men one by one, but now she was in the presence of a young king. Her King. She could not simply count him in a pile of all the men she'd ever broken. Quite frankly, Shinjin was the only man that would fuck her without her approval. She knew it that one day, she would have to lie down, open up and let his seed be sown in her precious garden. He asked himself why would a woman who had an option, bring herself to do that? Her sexual image and power over lust had been a cover up. The surface answer she had done so well to hide was just a simple cover up. She wanted to pretend as if she was really some girl who probably had been raped in her past, her 'true' secret was that. 'I was raped as a girl and I lied about my lesbian parents. I lie about them because I'm actually just a closet gay and I was raped by my girlfriends father who took us in, so now I spend my time raping men of their pride. I make them lick me and love me because it makes me feel good. Now I'm going to become the wealthiest Queen in the land and rule a little boy too dumb to figure out that power and money is what I really want.'

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That's the game Mari wanted to play. That's what she was 'telling' him. But Shinjin knew that a ninja must see underneath the underneath. Shinjin thought about pouring on emotion. He'd figured out how she worked now, so all he had to do was sell it. But then again, it would be too obvious to just dump his emotions and let his feelings out, he could do better than that. It was not about giving her something that seemed authentic, but rather give her something that was real. To give her the truth. Why? Because Mari's true original sin was jealously. Envy ruled her mind and her body. It's why she tagged her victims, she was jealous of their status. It's why she made up an obvious lie about her back story because it morphed her jealous feelings into that of revenge. Was it not human to strike back at an attacker to cause pain? Even if it meant to wait? Even if it meant to attack someone that reminded you of that pain? She wore the sharp clothing and diamonds and fabrics because she was jealous of those who had it. Mari was jealous of Shinjin. Now it was time to turn that jealousy back on her.

“I promise, but what exactly are you asking?”

Mari leaned forward and sat with her elbows on her knees. She stared at him as if she knew that he could be preparing to lie, ready to catch him in it.

“I want to know your deepest secret. Oh and please for your sake, don't give me any weird fetish you may have. I know them all. I want to know something about Shinjin that makes his heart ache.”

Shinjin blinked slowly and nodded, stirring up in the response in his head.

“My deepest secret... There was this girl back home in Kirigakure that I had come to love. She was beautiful, strong and confident. Emi was a constant reminder that the world was unkind and harsh, and love was the best escape. But I won't go on. I loved Emi, but I left Emi. When Kyu called me to train and to teach me of my roots, I dropped everything to do it. Including her.”

Mari shifted bit, finding a better way to sit.

“So, you just up and forgot about the woman that was probably going to be your real wife... You just left her...” she asked.

Shinjin nodded. “Yep. And in a way I simply forgot about her. Kyu was promising me much more than she could offer even though I did love her and I still do. I wish nothing but the best for her. I needed to learn about myself though.”

Mari obviously didn't know how to feel about this. She continued her probing questions, looking for something juicer among Shinjin's dark secret.

“And how does that make you feel?”

Shinjin had 'won' in a way. Mari's attempt to play therapist had failed considerably to the point where she was badly mocking the profession. The lack of greed in her voice resonated off of the walls. There was nothing to pull or poke at. Shinjin's deep dark secret was as human as anything, but arid. Mari thrived on having a supple, juicy, robust secret to keep. But his was as dark as any since he essentially left for selfish reasons. His love with her was not exactly true love, it had not matured by way of trail and tribulation. Emi and Shin had not been tested and tried with the real problems that came with a relationship. Shinjin still had a deep connection with Emi on some level but he could let it go. Mari just simply did not understand this concept, because she had lived her whole life being jealous of anything or anyone that had substance. Jealously makes one fat in that way, but Shinjin's secret had been bone dry.

“It makes me feel selfish, stupid, conceited even. It was wrong. When I return back to the village and find her, I have to apologize to Emi to make things right. I know I will weep for her one day.”

“And what will you do when she asks you about your whereabouts, about why you did not bring her, why you left her?”

“I don't know, Mari. I don't. But I will eventually learn to let Emi go, I have to. You and Okoki are my new wives now. I've learned from my mistakes with her and I won't repeat them with you or Okoki... as your husband.”

Stinger. And did it sting hard and deep, deep into her heart. Mari almost felt like lurching backwards to pull it out, because the sin of jealousy within her almost ran in fear. The truth hurts. Mari was not ready for the truth today, but she received it. She had been hoping that Shinjin was just a child that she could manipulate, control and direct towards her goals. How could she even think to use his 'secret' as a tool against him? What was she going to tell Shinran? Your son dated a girl and completely forgot about her to come visit his long lost father whom he thought was dead. Oh hey, did you know Shinjin deserted his first love at the age of fifteen to go travel the world and learn about his clan? No one in their right mind would find that sinister, or dark, or heinous. Mari had nothing on him, and she had to live with it.

“Well, we'll talk about that husband part later. For now I have places to be. I'm late for a meeting with a high council judge, but he likes it when I make him wait.”

Mari strapped her purse to her shoulder and tugged on the rich leather to bring it close. Her long silky cinnamon legs rubbed against once another as she stood up, and they shimmered in the light of the room like caramelized sugar. She slowly walked out and gripped the door handle but Shinjin rested a hand on her shoulder as she was half way out of the door.

“I know things are hard now, but I just want you to know that I will be as open with you as you want. Even though you don't trust me, I trust you. With everything. I will not close my deepest secrets and feelings off to you, ever.”

There was a fake smile that almost looked painful that crossed her lips. No, it was more than just painful, it was the mixed feeling of calmness and guilt. With Shinjin she didn't have to steal and lie and envy his possessions. He was telling the truth and she knew it. Everything that was his would be hers. There was no room for control. She walked off. A boy turned king that openly shared the throne. Where did envy have room to exist?

I didn't have any. And as she walked away she cried, because she no longer had to be jealous ever again.

EXIT