Ruka's Shitty Stuff Reviews [AKA I'm Bored :P]

Age : 32 Posts : 1495

How’s it going occasional reader who happened to tread here how exactly? Anyways, Ruka is here to fill you up on stuff she experienced or is willing to experience in the future because she’s in a dead spot and can’t RP for some reason (Ye, dat’s how it vorks). You are free to request stuff if you give a duck like games or movies but chances are if it’s a game I haven’t played it’ll take me years to complete it with my 2 hrs a week playing sessions. This isn’t anything to share with anyone about, I’m not a cinematography student or videogameology-whatever it’s called student it’s just something I do because I have no better things to do and I want to chillax. So if you’re still here, how bout reading some reviews if you feel like it Razz

P.S. Most shit I'll review will most likely be old so I'll probably have spoilers in it but if it's fairly new, I'll put spoilers into spoilers Smile

Age : 32 Posts : 1495

Ruka's Shitty Stuff Reviews [AKA I'm Bored :P] Frozen10

Personal Score: 10/10

Actual Score: 7/10

EVERYTHING’S A SPOILER, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, THE MOVIE IS DUCKING GREAT IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YOU DESERVE TO BE SPOILED THINGS YOU POMPOUS DUCK!

STORY:
Okay so what better movie for me to spend my night watching while half drunk in a middle of 40 degrees Celsius (or bajillion Fahrenheit, sue me if you don’t believe me) than movie about ice and princesses and sisterly love! So Frozen is a movie my boyfriend at the time did not take me to despite me trying to convince him how completely rad it was, he took me to 47 Ronin instead (his argument “It’s Japan and shit, you like Japan, right?!”, f*** that guy doe). Anyways if you’re too lazy to read about it, definitely worth a watch, it’s a great Disney flick odds are anyone could find something to enjoy.

If you’re still reading means you want to hear more about it, well aren’t you fancy, hard-to-convince a**? Okay so first thing first, the movie starts with Tarzan-like tribesman shouts which was total “Wuuuut?!” for me and forced me to recheck if my Frozen Bluray was not secretly containing Tarzan (it happens in Russia, more than you’d think). That was quite the throw off to the pretty hyped mood I had about this movie but the rest of the movie fixed it quite quickly. We then got treated with Canadian-like Norwegian men cutting ice, I’ve got no ducking idea why would anyone need blocks of ice, probably to film that scene in “Million ways to die in the West”, honestly it wasn’t really explained in the movie except for one guy’s obvious ice fetish. They had a song about how they’re cutting ice and how hard it was but it was a “meh” song, a lot of filler in songs were rather forgettable but not really bad, it fit in the scene pretty good.

So then we finally got the plot thread going skipping the off-screen African tribeswomen singing and on screen Canadian-Norwegians. What followed was the biggest “D’AWWWWWW!!! <3” moment as the first moment I saw the two cuddly main character sisters I kinda fell in love with them, I won’t lie it definitely rang some personal feelings and memories of strangling my little brother with hugs and slamming him into a wall, personal points for nostalgia, Disney. The two main characters of the movie are Anna and Elsa, Anna’s thing is that she’s awkward and reckless and Elsa’s got ice magic powahs. So the two sisters were totally cute, not as cute as Canadian-Norwegian men cutting ice but pretty damned cute, they were playing and stuff and one of the sisters got blasted with the other’s ice powers. Despite Anna being totally reckless and calling for the ice shot, in my opinion, she was brought to most Norwegian looking trolls to be cured of magics. Apparently in Disney world when you’re blasted with ice it curses you or something but the Norwegian Troll Papa said that as long as it’s head it’s OK (Oh, so THAT’S how it works… Ohkej) now if it was heart Anna’d be screwed (I was totally, Anna is going to be blasted into heart for the climax of this movie isn’t she? Just guess the answer Smile

)

So what happened was that trolls deleted all Anna’s memories of magic and rebooted her system, I’d have been a bit awry about the scene if I haven’t known how easy kids can recover from lethal stuff just by rebooting their heads. The parents of the girls’ (Mr. King and Ms. Queen) decided to keep Elsa locked up so that she doesn’t hurt other people (it didn’t really make sense initially but later it made a bit more sense), Anna was really hit hard by her sister refusing to let the little kid in and not playing with her anymore, it was apparent from some dialogue later that Anna remembered the old days when Elsa was nice and warm to her and the two played a lot so it must’ve been extra painful to see it happen, it was genuinely kind of emotional to see Anna just begging Elsa to come out and do stuff and the other sister just shutting the girl out, it struck a lot of personal notes because that’s what I tend to do a lot and I got a lot thoughts from that emotional moment. It really helped that “Do you want to build a snowman?” was a genuinely very interesting and emotional and cute song, I’d say it’s underappreciated but from what I’ve heard it’s really not. Anyways it beats the Canadian-Norwegian “We cut ice for living, YOHOHO!” song (That’s how it’s called in my head). Anyways I for reals almost cried seeing that emotional shut down moment (mostly for personal reasons) and the only movie that has ever made me connect so hard with it was Stallion of the Cimmaron so kudos Kawaii Disney Sisters-san-sama-sensei-kun. It connected even better by showing Elsa in her room heavily suffering over the decision to shut in but knowing it’s the right thing and sacrificing her own happiness of spending time with her sister for the better of her sister, it was then explained that not only Elsa’s got magic powers and that they’ll get stronger but she also kind of can’t control them and it depends on emotions.

Also the sister’s parents leave for a voyage into “Somerandomnameland” and die in a storm, it really wasn’t that emotional, not nearly as well developed as the “Sister doesn’t love me anymore, OMG WHY!?” moment which I found odd but in the grand scheme of things it kinda worked, after all the parents weren’t that important or well developed characters and they needed to be out of the way for the plot to continue. So after Elsa comes of age to take over a big celebration happens, people are let in the Kingdomland and there are a lot of hopeful people who have their own agendas like Duke of Weaseltown (Wesselton or whatever…) who wants to trade??? I mean why does it make him twist his evil moustaches is beyond me, trade is kinda legal in both our day and age and those days, I’m sure so someone teach that guy what his profession actually is. He may have had different agenda but the only one I remember is ripping Kingdomland in trading unfairly which is pretty much trading in a nutshell so whatever, that guy ain’t even a villain, plus you should’ve seen him dance that shit made him super awesome in my book.

Also there was Prince-Man with his sidekick horse. Seeing how Anna sings about dreaming to find love right as she bumps into the two it kinda makes sense she falls for him as easily as she did. I also loved how Elsa made fun of Disney (and Titanic’s) trope of having the characters fall in love in 30 seconds, I also liked how Elsa’s ice powers influenced her character a little bit with her becoming this Ice Queen sort of personality, she had shown throughout the movie that she wasn’t afraid to hurt the people she loved to make them keep away from her and be safe and happy which was a rather interesting (also very personal and relatable thing as well) so basically to keep the plot retelling short (I initially tried to avoid it but here’s how that turned out -_-) Elsa freaks out and reveals to all the guests she has Ice Powaaahs which makes the villagers go all “Mankind on X-Men” mode on Elsa, they immediately made me understand all the X-Men/Frozen crossovers and memes on the internet because their despise for Elsa was pretty much cartoony in how much of there was, it almost reached a point of annoying, kind of like those moments when in movies there’s this “We loved you but you lied to us so now we hate your guts” moment which makes me shoot my knee cap everytym! ( Sad

)

And so the plot happens as Elsa escapes and creates her own Ice Castle via Let It Go montage and put an eternal winter on Kingdomland which makes the Fjords freeze and people unable to run away (kinda clever because I would’ve bitched about it if it didn’t happen). So it’s up to Anna to trust total strangers on every way of her journey to the Evilicemountain-land meeting Canadian-Norwegians every step of the way and meeting characters like Canadian-Norwegian glaciophiliac with his dog-like reindeer who talks via his owner (it was hilarious though Very Happy

) and a snowman-man Olaf (my brother who is a LoLer laughed his ass off when we were watching it for some reason -_-).

So the first two thirds of the movie’s story: 1. Childhood + Coronation 2. Journey to the West-notreallytho-North had me sure that I’d be giving perfect scores to this movie, to be honest even the third part was pretty good and I’ve been captured by the movie the whole time it was just that pacing of the movie felt very different and that is why I think the third part felt so strange, if it was not some sort of attempt to break established Disney grounds I’m sure it’d have gone much smoother but then we wouldn’t have had such a nice ending and the movie would’ve probably gotten same score over my grievances being the movie being too generic. The thing is there was nothing to be done to make the story better, this is the best way to tell this particular story in my opinion and I have great respect for the movie for it.

The thing is I really want more of this, I want Frozen 2 or something like it even if I know that it would not be as good as the original or ruin the universe by making Olaf (IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!) into Jar-Jar officially. I just want more of Anna's quirkiness, more fine Canadian-Norwegians, more carrot feeding, more Elsa's weirdness now that she can (somewhat) control her powers (can she though? What has changed over the duration of the movie? Shouldn't she still be closed shut cuz she doesn't want to hurt her sister?) by controlling her emotions. I WANT MORE!!!

CHARACTERS (I gave a shit about):

Elsa: Her existence in the movie was kind of boggling, I never really understood her place in the movie and I don’t really think that Disney did as well. It really shows that Disney was working outside their comfort zone as her character felt a little weird as to what her actual role in the movie was. Her ice powers and Let It Go obviously were the driving force of why I got the movie on BluRay before even having seen it. I guess Disney used her character to show that they can write positive and main characters that are “Queens” instead of princesses, if that is her role then I am 100% OK with it, I really liked her development from calmer Anna into an Ice Queen also her transition from this afraid young woman into a strong and breaking her limits character was also rather interesting. I definitely liked her character even if I am still mixed about why she was there the way she was.

Anna: She was so goddamn interesting!!! She was basically Felicity Smokes from Arrow without her weird crush on Oliver Queen which feels kind of forced to me. She was quirky, strong, funny, fast-speaking, sarcastic and just overall one of my favourite Disney princesses so far just by how little maturity she had. I just loved every second of her on screen and losing a sister such as this would’ve definitely made me into a depressed Ice Queen just like it did with Elsa.

Canadian-Norwegian guy with a raindeer and a troll family and ice fetish, oh wait his name is Kristoff or smt I remember now: I dunno, he really had very little development in my opinion, a lot of princes in Disney don’t have anything cool about them, most of his development was from that one troll song where it basically just told us how weird and Canadian-Norwegian he was so… I guess since

Spoiler:

saved the day he didn’t have much of a role in the movie, most of his role actually comes from AFTER the movie so since I only saw what happened in the movie… Ye… Not much. Still even if he had less movie devoted to him and only him than most Disney princes and yet had most development… WAY IS HE EVEN A DISNEY PRINCE!!! Goddamn I don’t even know what is happening anymore

Olaf (Oh my God, bro, stop ducking laughing!!!) THIS GUY!!! When I saw the poster I thought I’d hate him, I really did, I thought he’d be Jar-Jar of the movie and that he’d ruin it for me. But every time he treads Jar-Jar ground he has the wonderful feature of SHUTTING UP! Basically he as a character is not that funny, what’s funny is the interaction of other characters with him, I accept him as a positive force in the universe solely for that. [Someone should’ve told him tho…]

The actual prince – Prince Wolverine Mc.Facial Hair – Ugh… Initially I thought I’d hate him, didn’t really hate him, his facial hair was OK, the main twist was OK but then again if you’re

Spoiler:

why would you be so anti-your own plan the whole movie? He was just too positive the whole time for his plan to ultimately make sense, it’s like if Obi Wan killed Darth, destroyed the Death Star and went “I WAS THE BAD GUY ALL ALONG!!!” and just left the room. That’s honestly how I felt about this guy. His plans were stupid, his execution was laughable, his horse was there, his facial hair was OK. No more of this guy plis.

Weasel (Wesselton) guy – he dances funny, also YOU CAN DUCKING TRADE WITH PEOPLE AND IT’S LEGAL YOU STUPID IDIOT!!!

MUSIC:
The main guns of the movie (“Let it Go”, “Do you want to build a snowman?”) were great, in fact I’d listen to them again multiple times and they deserve all the praise in the world if they managed an eternal Halestorm fan love them, the others were meh but they weren’t bad so I wasn’t that mad at them. Overall an OK soundtrack, the music was fun no tracks really annoyed me.

VERDICT:

Personal: This movie played my strings very well, I’ve been emotionally invested the whole time, loved the whole “shutting people out hurts them” thing and because I was so invested into the characters and related personally and hummed the songs as they went along I can’t give this movie anything less than perfect score. What’s that? Mulan already had a badass female lead, what’s that Beauty & the Beast is still better movie overall? YES! Yes they are that doesn’t mean that I can’t give this movie a pass just because how much I loved it 10/10

Actual: Now obviously I’ve already mentioned, this movie didn’t do anything that other Disney movies haven’t done and done better, maybe it was a very good picture overall but I simply can’t Let it Go off the last third of the movie which was just a lot of mess and “WTF” moments, I may have still liked it but my like of it was far below “This is great!” and was much more like “I wonder what time it is, you keep crying Elsa, I’ll just check… Oh 1 AM, wonderful… Oh you’re still crying, wait you’re gonna get stabbed… Nevermind.” I loved the stereotype breaking and trying to do something with the old formula but it just wasn’t fresh enough for me to add any points for it. The animation was neat but still felt a little too plastic to be perfect, some songs felt just like they were there, Olaf (STOP LAUGHING!!!) was there and while he may not have been negative but Anna could’ve easily had some more fun moments later on instead of being “I’m dying tho guys!” kind of character. I cannot give this movie more than 7/10, still it’s a very strong 7 and I give it a definite recommendation, even my asshole brother (who’s a total ducking asshole douchebag and is the WORST watching movies with (I LUV YOU BRO DOE , IMA CUDDLE YA AFTER DIS <3)) liked the movie quite a lot. If that doesn’t speak to this movie’s favor, IDK what on Earth does…

Age : 32 Posts : 1495

Ruka's Shitty Stuff Reviews [AKA I'm Bored :P] Ea_man13

Personal Score: 1/10
Actual Score: 6.5/10

MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD, I JUST REALLY DON’T CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT THE FILM TO SPOILER TAB ANYTHING, PLUS IT’S SUPERMAN’S ORIGINS – HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THE STORY BY NOW -_-

STORY:
Here it is, the movie that can single-framedly send me into a rampaging abyss of depression and the worst part of it all is… It’s an actually decent flick, except I can’t stop hating it.

The story here is very generic, pretty much the same shit, same Superman’s origins retold and Nolanized to fucking insanity. Why do we need a whiny and Nolan-y Superman? The duck do I know, it’s the origin story we neither deserved nor need (see wut I did, I made a Nolan funny Razz

)

So the opening scene happens in Ancient Greece… OMG I mean Krypton, sorry just… I mean it uses same political system as Ancient Greece, has Platonic society so… You know… Whatever… Anyways Krypton is a pretty neat and powerful and awesome society that makes their living off colonizing other planets and making poles out of them… You know… Like Ancient Greeks… It’s artsy that way -_- (NO IT’S DUCKING NOT THO!!!) Also they invented the technology of dick spaceships and face piercing, go figure. So basically their Ancient Greek politics of exploitation cost them their own planet, it’s going boom and there nothing to be done to stop it… Except of course using the Phantom Zone like the villains did but… Please forgive me, just really hate this movie!!! And so seeing how there’s no goddamn hope left for the planet Messieur Zod decides to take it over via coup and now he’s the ruler although not really because he got arrested after his role in the plot was done so his entire coup was basically… I don’t even know… Anyways Jor-Crowe encrypts the whole Codex thing which contains the DNA of whole Krypton species into his son to secure the legacy or whatever (plis remember that this is Platonic society so they do not believe in the power of boning, they artificially make children to be good at things just like ye olde farte Plato dreamed of Razz

)

Unfortunately Ruler-For-Ten-Whole-Minutes Zod decides to intervene because he wants the Codex for himself or something to move to another planet and secure his legacy and he wants his old friend Russel-El to go with him. So they fight (not really, Crowe-El just gets stabbed and gets the orgasm face for some reason) and SuperCavill leaves for Earth. Wow-Such-Zode and his crew get trial’ed and sent to the Phantom Zone to suffer life while the rest of the planet die in eternal happiness (Even though it should’ve been the ducking other way around!!!!). In general the Kryptonite sequence was filmed quite beautifully my only gripes being the absence of logic in most things like why would Zod be sent to Phantom Zone and not every living person on Krypton, I mean the planet is dying anyway plus it just so happens that after the planet gets wasted Zode and his crew returns so… Whatever… Krypton looks great and the sequence looks weird enough to set me on pretty good expectations which were pretty much wiped into smo’s butt by the end of the movie… (Also I think Zode may find SuperCavill… Just saying…)

So what follows is the retelling of Superman origins with switching in between the present and the flashbacks where BabyCavill was learning to be Superman via Smallville in one movie which makes it better actually. My main gripe with the second part of the movie (From Krypton’s destruction to Zod’s contact) is the goddamn lack of character. Everything lacks any sort of emotion or development, Henry Kentvill just travels around Murica with random shenanigans happening on the way with it being of no actual use in the grand scheme of things, every other speech given by a character is a larger than life motivational speech: “You were meant for great things!” , “They will join you in the Sun!” Also who says that? No we won’t join SuperCavill in the Sun, because Cavill may be a hunk but Sun is like pretty hot and shit, I’m 35% sure I would die out there and 25% sure I’d die ages before I’d get there so WHAT THE DUCK IS THE SPEECH EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! Stop saying things just because they sound “artsy” Snyber, they are not ARTSY! You are incapable of artsy, you are capable of copying things from paper and splattering them onto screen via CGI!

Also something that plagues the entire movie so I may get it out of the way now – the movie is braindead. By that I don’t mean it’s not smart, of course it’s not smart it’s a superhero movie, by that I mean it’s emotionally lobotomized and completely lacks any relatability, not because Superman is a powerful figure, because none of the characters in there behave like human ducking beings, they just provide Superman with dick nibbling via “You are Jesus” and “You are the savior of mankind” which makes movie pretty goddamn dull, the whole movie looks like it was filmed with some sort of grey filter (YEAH AS IF ANYONE NEEDED THIS MOVIE TO BE GREY-ER!!!) which means that movie lacks any substance or character at all, someone call time of death!

The performances in the entire movie were great, Henry Cavill is a great whiner and has grunts that’d make a Jaguar sploosh, Amy Adams was there, Laurence Morpheus Crawford is goddamn amazing as always even if his character has all the development and personality of a cardboard sheet, Jenny-OMFG-whyisJennynotJimmie-Olsen was as whiney as the movie’s standards demand her to be, whoever played Faora was goddamn awesome, she was the only part of the movie I genuinely had a personal like towards (she’s why this movie has that 1 on personal score), Zod Larkin was pretty okay as Zod, he never told anyone to kneel because he was too busy informing everyone that HE WOULD FIND HIM!!! In general casting and performances were great, the actors delivered what they were asked and I don’t care that what they were asked was to become pathetic shells of human beings incapable of exhibiting emotion or speaking like a human being for at least one ducking sentence. (Then again how else would we know we need to go to the Sun to join Cavill’s abs…)

And then Zod arrived and the movie entered the stage that most critics hated and I also didn’t really care because I never started caring after Krypton. You know, the battle. There was a prelude to it the whole introduction of military to SuperCavill and Henryman to the military, it was filled with much more dickstroking of Superman and that one scene that was supposed to make us believe Cavill and Lois Adams are in luuuuv… (-_-)… So then Zod finds Superman (shocker right? It’s almost like he YELLED IT OUT THREE TIMES!!!) and asks him and Damsel in DisAdams to join him in the ship so that he could explain his evil scheme to them which I guess isn’t evil but you better bet it doesn’t make a nick of sense Razz

So Zod’s plan is to Fire His Gravichy Lazor into the ground to teraform Earth into krypton killing everyone on the planet (also instead of kryptonite, kryptonite is Krypton’s atmosphere… Yeh…) My only problems with this wonderful flawless amazing super great plan is as follows…SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’re stuck with a super bonable Faora on your stupid spaceship which has all the comforts, why the hell do you need to risk your plan by fighting another planet’s military when you can just bone Faora until the end of time and make bajillion krypton babies?! I mean sure it’s “HERESY!!!” as he informed Russel-El before but didn’t he also say he’s willing to do ENETHING for his people???? Is doing hot steamy love with Faora really that nasty?! Come on, I know your Larkin boner would disagree, she’s so cool even I’d scissor with her… -_-

So then battle happens, everyone dies, Superman fights Kryptonian crew and Zod on the ground destroying Smallville then moving to Metropolis, no other character does anything worth mentioning, Superman then punches a giant lazor while people die, Amy Adams has performance issues as her D doesn’t go in all the way, things die, things explode, snap snap – call the credits.

To sum it up, the story is nothing unexpected – an origins of Superman made into a Nolan like movie no one asked or needed it to be… I guess it’s an imagining but for it to be the only movie of the DC movieverse… Shamefuru Dispurei DeeShee!!! I don’t really care that Superman did what he did at the end of the movie, I just think it was forced and didn’t need to be there, there were millions of ways it wouldn’t have needed to happen that way but “VISUAL VIRTUOSSO Zack Snyber (I know that’s not his name BTW, don’t call me out on it… -_-) decided to put it in because it’s EPIC and THOUGHT PROVOKING. If you want Superman doing that in your movie, at least don’t have it happen in THE VERY FIRST movie where your character is supposed to be defined. You may give me the argument of “Hey, but we all know Superman we dun need to have him defined…” “THEN WHY HAVE HIS ORIGIN STORY!!!!???” I would answer to you person who is on league with Justin Bieber from this day on!

CHARACTERS:

SuperCavill: He’s hawt, he did everything he was asked to do and had all the character that VISUAL VIRTUOSSO director intended him to have… Which is none BTW

Amy Adams: She started out good, honestly, most fans of the movie only remember her good parts and not everything after the first scene she was in. I just noticed that if you removed her character from the movie nothing would’ve been changed so… What’s the point of her being there and what’s the point hiring someone capable of pretty cool romantic range like Amy Adams from that one movie with Gerard Butler no one saw if you’re going to have her have less personality than a Pokemon Anime character?

Zode Larkin: He was meh, I can’t really say I hated him for anything, I guess I just expected him to say “Kneel before me or Zode” at least once… You know… For fun… Something DC fans aren’t apparently allowed to have… Anyways is boning Faora really that hard?! Really?!

Faora: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I luv you bebe, if necro stuff with Zode doesn’t work out call me for some scissor shopping plis Razz

Perry Fishbourne: He was there

Jenny Olsen: She was there… Also a woman for no reason at all… Really, what reason there was to change her except for CONTROVERSY! Ugh -_-

Captain Military: He was there.

Military Satellite: RIP (Also show me ONE military officer who would call Superman a hero after having his satellite smashed into the ground just next to his face XO)

Lex Luthor: He wasn’t there

Zor-Crowe: He was there, then he died, then he was there more than he was there when he was alive…

Emotions: RIP

Superman’s mom: She was pretty good, one of the couple of good performances in the movie.

Papa Costner: WHERE DID THEY DIG YOU UP FROM? Hope they put you back where you came from… Costner… Jeeez… Who’s next DC? Shaq?

MUSIC:

I didn’t really care about anything except the main theme, I agree with some reviewers that it’s good they didn’t use the animated theme or the old Superman theme that still make shivers go down my body every time I hear it. Wouldn’t have fitted with the sight of 11+ million people dying. Whatever tune fits September 11 that happened fits this movie better than the Zimmer’s theme.

VERDICT

Personal: I hate this movie with the very essence of my being, Captain America is now the movie Superman that I wanted Superman to be representing truth and justice and drone-blowing way better than this whiney douchebag who’s indirectly responsible for causing deaths of 11 million people (I think it’s the estimate of someone who counted, google it… -__-)

Honestly everything I could say about this movie is summed up in RedLetterMedia’s Man of Steel review except my judgment is a little less harsh, I still acknowledge that it is a decent movie deserving at least a 7 but I just absolutely refuse to give this movie same score as I gave Frozen because of how dear Frozen is to me even though on technical level these two are somewhat on the same grounds.

It’s an emotionally dead movie which I despise with the core of my being and yet on a technical level there are very few gripes I can associate with it like shaky cam and a quite some gapping plot holes and grey filter and constant whining and grunting and crying and Jeez… Why can’t movies just be fun anymore?

This movie tried to be something comic book movies are not, smart. They should’ve played it safe and made a bright and funny and popcorny movie like Marvel has been doing for so long, all the Plato references and political messages and… Ugh… That’s just not what a comic book movie should be (Cap: Winter Soldier is an exception – a smart comic book movie).

Actual: If not for the stupid art choices, plot holes and shaky cam it’s a decent picture, visuals are mind blowing and it looks insanely good. If visuals are all you need – go see it.

A really good review if you're still looking for something:

Age : 32 Posts : 1495

Ruka's Shitty Stuff Reviews [AKA I'm Bored :P] Godsma11

Okay since I’m in a position where I’ve got nothing to do that means that my RP time in the schedule is “Ruka being bored” time, which means it’s time for another Shit-Review. Contrary to popular belief of one person (who is not me, I swear) “Shit” in “Shit reviews” does not mean that everything I’m reviewing is shit, it means my reviewing is shit and that I’m in no case a professional whose opinion should be taken too seriously. Nowhere this is evident more than in musical reviews. I have absolutely no musical education and I cannot judge music based on any other criteria than my own personal like or dislike for it and my musical taste often makes most other people cringe and spit me in the face. That is why any musical review be it a song or an album will only have a personal score and not an actual score.

So this review is something new since it’s a review of an album, you know, a musical review which isn’t my strong suit. I’ve thought very hard for entire 15 seconds of how to do this and I’ve decided to simply list every song in the album and comment on it about everything that comes to mind and simply state my overall opinion in the end. Before I do that I want to comment on my personal experience with the subject I’m reviewing today. I didn’t know who Godsmack was since I’ve seen them perform together with Halestorm (which happens to be my favorite band Razz

) two years back (I forgot what was the main event but both of the bands were doing warm ups). After hearing those guys do their stuff I got a little interested and listened to several more songs they did, they weren’t bad but I wasn’t hooked enough to become a hard fangirl so I let go of them and decided to just let them fade into the “Stuff that’s good but I won’t actively follow” box.

Some time ago I was informed that Godsmack was the favorite band of a person I know and I just happened to get the chance to hear their newest album out. After doing so I decided to buy the album myself and if you want my early opinion, if you’re fan of the style it’s the right thing to do. Unfortunately I did not receive the extra track which came with pre-ordering (or smt like that…) and I had to listen to it on Youtube and I will be including it to my review. My overall reflections on the band is: they’re pretty awesome and after this album I just may start actively following those guys as if in hearing out everything they had put out since they started (back in like 199X or whatever O_O) and maybe buy every album they put out since they aren’t the most active people in the industry

So with no further fucking around let’s see what’s this shit all about:

1000HP: So the title song… As far as I’ve experienced Godsmack the title song is always the best of the album which is commendable. It is so very often that the title track is pretty shit which makes me wonder if whoever’s managing the band’s shit knows just what the hell they’re doing. This is just the best song of the album to push for Summerslam and after hearing the song as a part of album’s sneak peek in June I was pretty sold for buying it (for my friend’s birthday as a gift but buying it nonetheless, look I got it myself too eventually so don’t bully me, ohkay? Razz

). The track is pretty hard and balls out, just how I’d like Godsmack to be but they apparently don’t always agree with my opinion and like to go a little trippy from time to time. The lyrics as I’ve understood is pretty much about the group’s origins, how nobody gave shit but once after a show they kicked off and started “Kicking shit up louder…” The lyrics are OK for the band of this style, it has this metal and biker taste to it which is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s hard, it kicks balls and Sully is definitely a good voice despite what most people might say (No, he doesn’t sound like fucking Cornholio Beavis you goddamn idiots, I suggest you watch the goddamn episode and reminding your stupid faces what that sounds like). Overall there’s not much I can say about it, if you like the hard, balls-out style it’s definitely the way to go to add it into your playlist, I know I occasionally will and give it a listen when I’m feeling down, it provides you with just enough amount of whoop-ass to not give a shit about anything and just carry on with the stuff you do.
Personal Score: 9/10

FML: This song starts the wrong way, I don’t mean bad but it gives the occasional Godsmack’s “Tripping” song feel which it is not, not entirely. I don’t really know if making it a bit trippy was the way to go but I do realize it’s Godsmack’s thing and I do appreciate it but it’s not exactly up to my personal taste. When the chorus starts the song gets to its strongest part and it’s the part I would’ve liked the song to have its entire length, I absolutely get wet everytime Sully starts screaming and I have no idea why doesn’t he exploit it and start going into the trippy stuff. I guess his voice needs a break and Godsmack has its “Trips per Track” quota to fill to remain its own thing. The thing is I can’t be hating on Godsmack for being trippy because it’d be the same as hating on AC/DC for having high pitch, it’s their signature thing, it’s what makes them unique and different and it’s what makes Smacks Smacks. It’s just that I really hate when one and the same song compares the hard and balls out Smacks and returns to the trippiness as if saying “Hey, get wet for dose awesome screams and look at what you could’ve gotten instead of this trip we’re about to give you”. I guess even the trippy parts would be OK if you’re on weed and tripping balls but then again, who’s listening to hard rock when they’re tripping?
Personal Score: 7/10

Something Different: Easily my favorite song of the album and yet it’s trippy for most of the times -_-… I know it makes me sound hypocrite, I know there’s really nothing I can say about this song that’s different from what I’ve said about FML. It’s one and the same and yet it’s absolutely splooshy, it’s the best fucking thing ever and I can’t stop listening to it, it’s even more trippy and less hard than FML and yet somehow it’s way better, even during the balls out parts it’s still very trippy balls-out and yet I can’t stop loving this song. If I’d ever decided on making babies this would not be the song I’d do it with, that’d probably be Oracle from the previous album and yet this song is so badass that whenever I write anything I just pop it in and play it on repeat for an hour or two. I have no idea what’s its lyrics are about and to be honest I don’t care, it’s just so good that it’s not a song, it’s an experience, it’s like going to the cinema (Something Different) compared to watching a movie on a high-def TV (FML), sure you get to see the same movie but the experiences are… Something Different ( )
Personal Score: 10/10

What’s Next: A very hit or miss track, feels rather like a filler material of the album to the point where I completely forgot about this song’s existence. What’s even worse is that this song is probably the most classic of Godsmack’s stuff which reminds me the most of their oldies but goldies like Whatever and Faceless (out of like 4 of their tracks that I know Razz

). The lyrics is basically about someone wondering about if life is all there is to it and if there’s an afterlife, at least that’s all I’ve gotten from several reads and listens, it’s an interesting concept and yet it doesn’t make me intrigued enough to get into it deeper, don’t get me wrong both the lyrics and the song are far from being bad but it still doesn’t help the fact that it’s a very filler-like feeling track.
Personal Score: 7/10

Generation Day: I don’t really know if I like this track. It’s probably the most trippy of Godsmack’s tracks even if the guitar is going ham the most and the melody is probably the heaviest. It’s a weird mix of the guitarist going absolutely nuts and ham but Sully going melancholic and rather trippy and I don’t really know if it’s good or bad, it feels very modern and for some reason very Disturbed-on-a-bad-day-like. One thing I would like the Smacks to do the least is start becoming like the mainstream groups, what I’ve liked the most about Godsmack was how unknown and how underground they were, they existed alongside stuff like Linkin Park and Disturbed and others and yet they managed to score a lot of wins over them by surviving the times and scoring a lot of awards on the way yet remaining completely the same, look at Linkin Park, compare these Bay’s boys to what they used to be before and you’ll see my point. The instrumental parts are probably what makes this song and remember making babies? This song would fit it best out of this album. I’m not a big fan of babies so the score will be mediocre, don’t become LP, Smacks, please don’t start serving the power of Bay…
Personal Score: 6.5/10

Locked&Loaded: Godsmack, this song is Godsmack, heavy and balls out, what I’ve heard the last album was and if it’s any judge of what Godsmack would be if they just started tearing asses I love it. I want a whole album of songs like this (in other words Oracle #2), just pump out albums with 10-15 songs like this yearly and I’ll forget who the hell Halestorm even is (I’m kidding, Lizzy, I’m fucking kidding…) I just really love how songs like this prove to me how amazingly the guitarist of the group and Sully can work together when they start blowing the roof off with their badassness. The drummer and the guitarist of the group deserve all the praise they get and Sully deserves to seriously kick the shit out of every fucking idiot who dares to say that he sounds like Corholio Beavis. I mean for shame guys, for shame. A bit short of epicness to match the title song but pretty fucking badass.
Personal Score: 8.5/10

Livin’ in the Grey: Very instrumental and trippy song, it just listens very well, it has rhythm and flow, the guitar is good, Sully compliments it well, the lyrics are pretty fun about how “not everything’s always black or white” and it’s just a very feely and flowing song, it has a very nice rhythm and repetitive flow and yet once again I end up loving a trippy song of Godsmack, it’s pretty much trippsville, almost Voodoo kind of tripsville and yet I can’t stop loving it’s rhythm and trippy instrumental parts and repetitive flow. Well done, Smacks, you may just prove me wrong on you sucking when you’re trippy…
Personal Score: 8/10

I Don’t Belong: Pretty heavy and rather depressing song, one of those sadder and darker tunes of Smacks and I can’t say I dislike it, the album has a lot to gain from depressing and dark tones like this. To me this song is very much how Smacks are with mainstream: they don’t belong to any genre, they don’t fit it with the mainstream general public and yet fans and critics just eat them up. It’s almost like with this song the writer says that the public needs to just accept them for who they are – their own thing even if what is called their own thing is actually very heavily influenced by stuff like “Alice in Chains”. It’s a very interesting tune and a very welcome and little new edition to the whole album. Comparable with Something Different but where SD was somewhat trippy this one’s a lot more heavy.
Personal Score: 9/10

Nothing Comes Easy: Ugh, I don’t even know… It’s just another rather filler-y track and yet the guitar is hammering once again and Sully is going ham with it. It’s definitely good but I can’t tell if it’s very good or just above average good and that’s what’s interesting, I’m very much fighting over my feelings over this track because it’s one of those couple of songs of the album that I completely forgot and felt like they were just filling the void. The guitar parts in this one are pretty much the best out of all of the album, I’d definitely want more stuff like that and yet it’s not heavy enough vocal-wise to justify that heaviness, it’s just not “Smacky” enough to bitchslap my ass back from bitching around this song:
Personal Score: 6.5/10

Turning to Stone: Another baby making and weed taking track. Very, very Voodoo-like, I know it’s basically the band’s style and yet that still doesn’t mean I’ll like it. It’s one of those songs you like one day and then skip it the next day. It definitely has its strong parts, guitar is amazing, Sully is great during the chorus and the song provides enough tripping and heaviness, it’s the perfect mix and I’d probably give this song as “Listen to this before you devote to this group because you may be getting those very often” song of Godsmack, if you don’t like the song it doesn’t mean you won’t like Smacks, it means that just you won’t like them when they’re doing their signature trippy thing, I personally tolerate it and absolutely love it during the chorus when the guys just go balls out and start tearing some serious ass.
Personal Score: 8/10

Life Is Good (The Pre-Order Bonus track): A pretty solid track, it doesn’t try to be anything too much, it’s just a little bit more of the heavy Smacks, the lyrics are barebones simple but what you have to understand – this song ain’t part of the album, it’s a bonus, a nod to the fans and for what it is it’s simply perfect, it has some tune, it has the lion chest yelling it has the catchy guitar it has the very Godsmack tune and as a bonus track it deserves a perfect score but I’m not judging it as a bonus track, I’m judging it as a song of it’s own and that’s why it’s rather difficult to exactly tell you it’s worth. I’d say I’ll give it a double rating (not that anyone will fall of a chair out of surprise of it, huh?)
Personal Score: 8/10 (10/10 judging it as a bonus track and not its own thing)

Overall: The album is much more hit than a miss, while I wouldn't go as far as to say that it's better than Oracle, their last album (which I've heard plenty praise for) it was enough to make me from a non-hater to somewhat of a fangirl and I'll definitely be on the lookout for more of their stuff. I'd say that if you're fan of the style it's pretty much worth giving them a listen, Godsmack offers a unique taste of trip and heavy balls out shit to keep you entertained.

Overall Personal Score: 8/10