Hellfire Demonbird - Saya's Summon

Posts : 730

Hellfire Demonbird - Saya's Summon 761pxdeinonychusbw

Name: Gouka Onitori - Hellfire Demonbird

Rank: C

Appearance:
This horrific beast stands only three feet high at its hips, and typically crouches even lower to the ground. While it may seem short the velociraptor can rise up to a height of almost 5 feet, and has a long and slender body. It is easily seven feet long, including its whip like and feathered tail. Its mottled black hide is covered in thick, tough scales, though the creature gets its bird like name from it's coating of thick downy feathers. The ruddy brown feathers have black highlights, with yellow markings near it’s reptilian mouth. Its teeth are almot an inch long and curved back, serrated to tear through flesh with terrifying ease. Its forward reaching arms are graceful and fast, ending in three fingered hands with two inch claws. Its legs are also bereft of feathers, exposing the dark and solid scaled legs, which end in viciously taloned feet. The inner most toe of each claw has a retractable killer claw that is curved and razor sharp, and a full four inches long on this creature. Its obvious predatory appearance can invoke fear in some, because this animal can, and clearly will, eat you as soon as it has the chance.

Contract Type: Blood Donation

Species: Dinosaur [Velociraptor]

Elemental Affinity: Fire

Special Abilities/Characteristics:
Because of the family this animal comes from, it has some obvious advantages. Its light predatory design was mastered over time to be an apex predator, and capable of bringing down foes many time its own size. It has a pack mentality, making it a great partner when working in a team of ninja. This creature is fast, deadly, and not above eating the bodies of those it kills in combat.

Keen Senses: This creature has a large nasal cavity that is packed full of olfactory receptors. This creature can track by sense of smell as well as a well trained ninja hound, and discern specific scents from others.

Grasping Hands: These creatures possess nimble hands that can pick up and hold items. Onitori can pick up items weighing up to 25 pounds, and carry them with them. Both hands are needed to pick something up, and as such raptors can not use their hands in fights while they’re holding things, though he may still employ their feet and mouth. His small hands are capable of complex manipulation and Kouga is able to work simple locks, open doors, and even work a small keypad if needed. His agile fingers are also able to form handseals.

Powerful Build: Though small and light, these creatures have very well designed bodies. These creatures are able to run as fast as a Chuunin ninja, and leap just slightly higher. In spite of their small size, these little monsters can use their claws and fangs to bring down and kill a normal human with unthinkable ease. They are psychically strong and very fast, but a little fragile. The light bones of the raptor are prone to breaking easily when crushed.

Background: Gouka comes from the Velociraptors that inhabited the volcanic centeral mountains of the Onitori Tribal Holdings. They are masters of fire jutsu, as well as hunting and killing. After Saya earned the full respect of the Onitori’s tribal elders, Kouga was Saya’s guide towards the central heart of the volcano. There she was able to help the tribe’s shamans unlock the heart of the volcano, and caused an eventual eruption. The increasingly charred landscape eventually leads to the downfall of the Sabretooth Tiger Tribe they’d been at war with. After the great conquest of the cat’s was over, the raptor tribe all agreed to ally with Saya. Kouga was more than pleased to continue to fight alongside Saya.

The Velociraptors were the first dinosaurs Saya met in their domain, and last she gained kinship with. They are the mystics and priests of the tribe, and hold dominion over the tribes sacred pool of fire. Saya gained the respect of the raptors while defending their great shrine from a siege by the Tribes mortal enemies. With help Saya managed to fend off the largest beast the tiger tribes had to offer, a twenty foot tall, two headed tiger. After the battle, the raptors accepted her as a member of the tribe, and Kouga cheerfully accepted a place as her sidekick.

Summon Jutsu:

Name: Spit Acid
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: This ability allows the velociraptor to spit out a glob of sticky acid. The acid will corrode any organic substance, however is inert to stones, metals, and glass. This acid will inflict mild chemical burns and irritation to skin it covers. If the acid gets in a victim's eyes, it will cause painful burning and blurring of vision. In either result the acid will continue to burn for 2 posts, at which time it's effects will fade.

Name: Firebreath Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fire
Description: After forming the proper hand seals and inhaling a great breath, the dinosaur will exhale a great gout of flame. The fire blows out in a cone that is upto 10meters wide at it’s end, and up to 20 meters long. Objects struck by this jutsu will be greatly burned by the searing hot flames, and possibly ignited if flammable.

Name: Fireball Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C-S
Element: Fire
Description: After inhaling a great breath, the dinosaur will charge chakra into their lungs and mouth. They will then spit forth a compressed sphere of firechakra. The fireball will fly quickly through the air and explode on impact with whatever it hits. Depending on the rank the jutsu will have a stronger effect. At C rank the burst is only 3 meters wide, though it doubles in size each rank. 6m at B rank, 12m at A rank, and finally 24m at S rank.

Name: Cutting Torch Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fire
Description: After gathering fire chakra in their hand, the raptor is able to create a small jet of flame emanating from its palm. This jet of flame is 6 inches long and half an inch in radius. It is able to cut well through almost all manner of material, but the flame must be held still, and moved relatively slowly to be used properly. A D rank amount of chakra is needed each post to keep this jutsu active.

Posts : 191

Sorry Wind, summoning rules state that as genin, you may only have 2 summons total and only 1 of them may be C-rank.

Posts : 730

yada yada, what I said before. Chuunin, and whatnot. approve please. This is just 1 of 2 for my new summons.

Posts : 191

Name: Acid Stream
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: None
Description: This technique uses much more acid than a normal glob of spit would. It issued forth in a wide column and covers everything in front of it in a sticky wave of acid. It will spray out about 25 feet from the dinosaur and cover in a ten foot wide line. Stone will be dissolved up to one inch deep, while organic material will be greatly burned and damaged. This consumes four globs of acid spit when used, and forces the dinosaur to wait at least a full post before spitting again. This can only be used once per fight.

You call this C-rank? This is B-rank, most definitley, coming close to A-rank, for the damage it does even to non organic substances such as rock.

Name: Firebreath Jutsu
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fire
Description: After forming the proper hand seals and inhaling a great breath, the dinosaur will exhale a great gout of flame. The fire blows out in a cone that is upto 10meters wide at it’s end, and up to 20 meters long. Objects struck by this jutsu will be greatly burned by the searing hot flames, and possibly ignited if flammable.

Again, too potent for a C-rank. 20 meters by 10 meters? Maybe 20 feet by 10 feet.

I fail to see how a dinosaur with 3 fingers can weave handsigns, but for the moment fix the two jutsu (preferrably by significantly reducing their range/area of effect)

Posts : 730

50 feet long seems fair to me, and about 25 feet wide seems about right. I'm sorry but every other fire jutsu used in the show goes waaay beyond 20 feet.

I removed the acid stream, I can agree that it's a little to strong.

Also, what are you talking about can't make hand seals? Frogs make hand seals.

Posts : 191

How can it make handseals given that, according to the picture, it has no apparent fingers of any kind, rather it has those wing-like appendages.

60 feet long by 30 feet wide at C-rank?? you're significantly overestimating what a C-rank jutsu is expected to be capable of. Half that, maybe a third of that, is on par with most C-rank jutsu.

Posts : 730

I'm not sure how you don't see fingers on the drawing, but whatever you say.. I'll remove the hand seals.

However, you're just wrong. C ranked jutsu go further than 50 feet regularly on the show. People attack at long range with elemental jutsu with great frequency. I'm not sure why you suddenly think a jutu suddenly can't reach across a small road. I'd like a second opinion on the matter.

Age : 35 Posts : 1492

Jsalos. Sasuke vs Naruto. Sasuke did Goukayuu no jutsu mid air. Definetely greater than 50 feet away. 50 feet is approximately around 20 meters. Thats not that far at all. Also, if you reember the topic in staff, a C-Ranked Shunshin has a range of about 50 meters. Half of a track straight away, which STILL isnt that far, and a Jutsu could easily extend past that line at C-Rank, given the correct description. 60 feet by 30 feet is nothing.

Posts : 730

Bumpity..

Age : 28 Posts : 2538

Wind wrote:: Name: Spit Acid
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: D
Element: None
Description: This ability allows the velociraptor to spit out a glob of sticky acid. The acid will corrode any organic substance, however is inert to stones, metals, and glass. This acid will inflict moderate chemical burns and irritation to skin it covers, and blindness if it gets in the eyes. This doesn't cost the dinosaur any chakra, but it only has the fluid reserves to spit six such wads of acid per day.

The same problem as on your other summoning application, blindness is too OP for a D-Ranked justu. Change to irritation and state how long it lasts.

Wind wrote:: Background: Gouka comes from the Velociraptors that inhabited the volcanic centeral mountains of the Onitori Tribal Holdings. They are masters of fire jutsu, as well as hunting and killing. After Saya earned the full respect of the Onitori’s tribal elders, Kouga was Saya’s guide towards the central heart of the volcano. There she was able to help the tribe’s shamans unlock the heart of the volcano, and caused an eventual eruption. The increasingly charred landscape eventually leads to the downfall of the Sabretooth Tiger Tribe they’d been at war with. After the great conquest of the cat’s was over, the raptor tribe all agreed to ally with Saya. Kouga was more than pleased to continue to fight alongside Saya.

Beef this up a little if you can, it's looking a little thin.

Apart from that this also looks good. :]

Posts : 730

Done and done.

Age : 28 Posts : 2538

Aapproved. ;D