Senjuu, Donderwolk [Konoha Genin]

Posts : 25

雷雲

SENJUU FAMILY CODE OF HONOR

Posts : 25

Basic Information:

Name:
Donderwolk 雷雲
thundercloud
Secondary Title:
still need to learn one in rpg
Age:
12
Gender:
Female
Physical Appearance:
Donderwolk has smooth long black hair, jolly green eyes. She's certainly not a fatty but has a normal ninja sculptured body.As protection she wairs a leather forrest green archer outfit.On her shoulder she has her personal bodyguard. A Mountain hawk called "Lekkerkerker". Donderwolk isn't a fashionable girl. Her outfit resembles her off a bushgirl. She sends out a aura off nature that calms her distant area. She only got her one leather outfit and a black night galon with a panda picture on the back.

Spoiler:

On her back she has a beautifull red cape that has the black clan markings engraved on it, under her red cape she has a Wooden shiver that contains a range of self sculptured special wooden arrows.Around her wrist she has special designed graves to ease the pain of the drawback of the released string of the bow.
Personality:
Donderwolk is a spicy girl, always up for a laugh and a joke. She absolutely hates structure and control in her life. She's a true rebel in the deepest sence of the word. She's a rebel from nature out. So it's a character trademark that can be hated or loved. Inside missions or warfare she works best alone because of her archery training inside her own clan family. Donderwolk can be considered as a secret suprise element inside battles or as a watcher over the bigger playing field inside warfare. Even if she is a rebel from nature her family consider her as a girl with the charisma of jeanne d'arc the lady out of the old legends.
But all by all is donderwolk a verry loving lady that have a calming aura upon people in her close distance.Many of her fellow nins call her a little exentric...it goes near to narcism..
When she is driven into a corner he inner beast will come out that makes her brain work in overdrive. She is raised as a tactical visionaire..so when she feels the pressure her insight will even become better. She loves stress and will always use it to her advantage.
She is almost never afraid,her senjuu training made her close these feelings off to the outside world. But maybe donderwolk has some deeper demons/trauma's that she isn't aware off

Catch Phrase:

-Hold in the air, release nature!!
-dont you think i'm sexy in this green leather?

Clan Information:

Quote :: Clan Name: Senjuu

Clan Location: Konoha

Clan Traits: None

Kekkei Genkai: The Senju clan has the ability of the manipulation of the advanced element wood, or "Mokuton". They achieve this by having complete balance with two elements: Earth and Water. By combining these two chakra and implementing them into jutsu they can create wood or manipulate preexisting wood. By converting chakra into the source of life, senju areble to create trees, cause them to grow to great sizes, and manipulate them to diverse shapes and battle uses at will. It was said this ability was used to create the very landscape and foundation that Konoha is built on.

Must have Water and Earth elements.

Clan Jutsu:

Name: Wood Clone
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: Wood
Description: The Wood Clone Technique simply makes up to a few clones made of wood that emerges from the body of the user. The clones can be as simple in function as a wooden dummy for use in the Body Replacement Technique. More complex clones can travel far distances from the user and are able to communicate with the original

Name: Wood Release Secret Technique: Birth of Dense Woodland
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: S
Element: Wood
Description: The user forces trees to grow on any surface, and can easily create a dense forest anywhere. It was this technique that allowed Hashirama to build the foundations of Konoha. This jutsu can also be used to bind an opponent and alter a battlefield for their own uses. This jutsu has an initial range of 25 meters in each direction. By adding an additional B rank amount of chakra they can extend this up to an extra 5 meters, A- 10 meters, and doubling the normal chakra cost will allow it to go 15 meters past the original boundary. The trees can be used as a focal point for other wood jutsu or the limbs can be maneuvered themselves using their mastery of the wood element.

Name: Wood Release Binding Nest
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: Wood
Description: This technique lets the user summon a tree around their opponent to bind them. This technique is relatively powerful and holds opponents very gracefully, with less of a strain on the user, because the user sinks them into the ground. Afterwards, the user can enclose the opponent so that their body implodes.

Name: Dense Woodland Wall
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Wood
Description: The user touches their hands to the ground and calls upon there ability to manipulate and create the wood element. The surge their chakras through the ground and force them to come up from the ground as wooden poles which interlace to form a wide barrier of 5 meters in front of themselves.

Name: Four Pillars House
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: Wood
Description: Using this jutsu the user can create an fairly basic house made entirely out of wood. Due to time needed, approximately five minutes, it has no use in battle and is entirely intended for the purposes of creating a quick shelter for over night stay.

Name: Four Pillars Prison
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Wood
Description: The user creates a quick, decently sized cage of straight wood pillars around the targets. This is for a quick capture and is not a very durable structure and can be quiet easily be broken out of. However it can also be used as a basis for other wood based jutsu.

Name: Great Forest Technique
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Element: Wood
Description: A technique that changes one's own arm into big trees. Using chakra, the tissues are transformed into trees at the cellular level. Then, by activating the trees, stimulating them to grow rapidly, they lengthen at high speed and fork into many branches. It is possible to capture the enemy with these branches and at the same time, if one changes the ends into sharp stakes, turn them into countless, sharp, spear-like piercing weapons.

Name: Serial Pillar Houses
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: S
Element: Wood
Description: This is a grander scale of Four Pillars House technique. It is the same basic concept on the houses get more complex and it can create several of them all at once. This exhausts the user very rapidly, taking about half of their chakra supply to complete. The limit to this technique is 25 houses per use.

Name: Wood Release: Transformation
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Wood
Description: This jutsu is just like any other Transformation Technique. The user performs the necessary hand seals, then wood emerges and covers his entire body and a puff of smoke or chakra covers up the transformation. Once the jutsu is done, the transformation is complete. It acts more like a costume than a transformation, as a user is able to leave it behind if necessary.

Name: Wood Locking Wall
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: B
Element: Wood
Description: An extremely versatile move, this technique uses chakra to activate the roots in the ground and, using the user as a reference point, makes wooden pillars appear from left and right. The wooden pillars join together in a dome-shape with the user at the center. This process can be used to catch the enemy in a double sided attack. Also, in case one confronts the enemy at a short distance, the enemy can be locked up inside the dome, setting the situation for a one-on-one fight. This dome can also be collapsed or burnt with the enemy inside causing damage. Furthermore, it functions as a easy shelter against the enemy's long-distance attacks, like shuriken and kunai

History:

The Senju clan was descended from the younger of the two brothers chosen by the Sage of the Six Paths to inherit the way of the ninja. He was born with the "body" of the sage, and he believed that love was the key to peace. This led to the sage choosing him as his successor causing his older brother to attack him out of hatred. Eventually, the Uchiha clan was descended from this older brother and resulted in the bitter rivalry of the Senju and Uchiha.

The Senju clan gained their fame in the era before the founding of the hidden villages. Where other clans focused on mastering one particular skill, the Senju were masters in all skills, from ninjutsu, to taijutsu, to genjutsu. Because of this, they were feared as "the clan with a thousand skills", which gave them their name Senju ("a thousand skills", "a thousand hands"). The most famous member of the clan was their leader, Hashirama Senju. His unique Wood Release ninjutsu even gave the clan the nickname the Senju clan of the Forest . This Wood Release, and his ability to control the tailed beasts, made him the greatest shinobi of his time. The Senjus' place at the top of the shinobi world was undisputed, but there was one clan that was able to stand up to them: the Uchiha clan. Whenever one country hired the Senju, their enemies would hire the Uchiha, and vice versa. This led to a rivalry between the two clans and, more specifically, between the leaders of the clans, Hashirama and Madara Uchiha.

However, in a world of constant bloodshed, Hashirama had a dream of peace, and a great love for his fellow men. Known as the "Will of Fire" , this belief made the Senju clan propose a truce to the Uchiha clan. Weary of fighting, and persuaded by Hashirama's great charisma and negotiation abilities, the Uchiha accepted, ending their bloody rivalry. Only Madara was against this truce, believing the Senju would one day destroy the Uchiha clan. He was forced to accept, but his humiliation wouldn't end there.

Some time after the alliance between the Senju and the Uchiha was signed, the Land of Fire hired them to stabilize its borders, and the clans created a permanent settlement within the country. Thus, Konohagakure was founded, and, with it, the system of one Hidden Village per country. As the system spread throughout the world, the constant violence stopped, and Hashirama's dream began to become a reality. From that point on the Senjuu have been highly revered in Konoha as one of their great families and some of the most powerful ninja in their ranks.

Clan Details: Open

Rank Information:

Rank:
Gennin
Village Affiliation:
Konoha

Special Information:

Character Speciality:
Main:Weaponry Ranged
-Main : Archery
-Sub: N/A

Spoiler:

Sub: Ninjutsu
Elemental Affinity:
What element(s) your character possesses, no more than two
Main:Earth
Sub: Water
Special Characteristics:

-Donderwolk was trained in the use of two animals from when she was little. The hawk handling and horseback riding in extreme conditions(Ba-jutsu - Horsemanship )

Posts : 25

Skill Information:

Jutsu's

-Academy Jutsu's

Spoiler:

-Element Jutsu's [Water/earth]

Spoiler:

-Archery Jutsu's

Quote :: Knowledge of the bow
guide 1 : bow basics

Cast of Arrow
-This is basic knowledge in order to handle the bow
Description:
An archer shooting an arrow experiences cast, essentially the arrow's speed and distance. The greater the cast – the greater an arrow's speed/distance/momentum – the better.
Fast arrows spend less time in the air, take a more direct route the the target, are less effected by wind and atmospheric conditions. However for a given cross sectional area, a slightly heavier arrow will punch through the air better at the expense of sight marks at longer distances. It is a balance.

Arrow Construction
-This is basic knowledge in order to handle the bow
Description:
Arrows are made of rods or tubes of stiff, low density material: wood, fibre glass, aluminium, carbon fibre, or a composite of carbon fibre wrapped around aluminium tubing.

Arrows must be 'quite stiff', but crucially they must retain some bend: a perfectly stiff arrow cannot be shot from a bow. Indeed, the correct degree of arrow stiffness is one of the keys to successful archery, as will become apparent.

An arrow has a centre of mass (centre of gravity or balance point) and a centre of drag:

-The centre of drag MUST be behind the centre of mass, and the further behind the better, otherwise the arrow will be inherently unstable in flight. Indeed, if the centre of drag is in front of the centre of mass the arrow will have a tendency to turn round and fly "backwards".
-Large fletchings and a heavy pile will increase the distance between the centre of mass and the centre of drag and make the arrow fly better, but at the expense of cast (arrow speed). So again, there is a trade off.
-For a given mass of arrow + pile, a lower mass shaft will increase the distance between the centre of mass and the centre of drag.

14 Arrow Movement
-This is basic knowledge in order to handle the bow
Description:
There are at least 14 modes of movement associated with arrow flight

-Clan Jutsu's

Spoiler:

Weapons

Spoiler:

Items x Gear

-10 smoke bombs
-10 exploding tags
-3 kunai's
-1 wooden shiver that contains her own special arrows
-1 red cape with the senjuu markings engraved on it

Name:Long arrow
Quantity: infinity [due to senjuu clan abbility]
clan:Senjuu
Rank: E
Appearance:
It is one of the larger arrows that can be used for the bow. The long wooden shaft will give the flying arrow the extra curve to do the extra distance
Special Abilities/Characteristics:
-Can do a long distance flight [400-500M]
-Is fully out off wood with a blunted tip, so the shaft is extremely fragile because of the wooden creation
-Is more used tactical, because of the distance it can cover
-Max 2 can be used in a single bowshot

Name:strong arrow
Quantity: infinity [due to senjuu clan abbility]
clan:Senjuu
Rank: E
Appearance:
It is one of the smaller arrows that can be used for the bow. The short thick wooden shaft will give the flying arrow the extra speed to do the extra damage impact in a short range assault
Special Abilities/Characteristics:
-Can't do a long distance flight [100-150M]
-Is fully out off wood with a thick pointed tip, so the shaft is extremely strong because off the thickness off the wood
-Is more used in close combat
-Max 4 can be used in a single bowshot

Animals x Summons

Spoiler:

Posts : 25

Background Information
Senjuu, Donderwolk [Konoha Genin] Archer

Birth:
On a cold winter night in the middle of a loud enlighting storm a middle aged woman was lying on a bed. She was a member of the Senjuu legion of the konohakure region. During this cold night her water broke and the first pain signs of labour took over.Finaly the curce of the Senjuu clan was broken. For the first time in 11 years a new baby would be born that would proudly wear the colors of the wood clan.
After a hell of pushes the baby came into this world. Seline was born! But at the exact same time when seline would make her first earthen scream to put some oxygen in her newly formed lungs a thunderbolt of the heavy storm outside fell on the wooden house of the happy family. This verry strangely timed event was the cause of the name change. From now on! Seline would be called donderwolk(thundercloud) because off her first scream.
academy:
When Donderwolk first entered the academy she was a little scared buts she knew she had trained harder then most academy students that started off in the first year. The enormous presure of the Senjuu elders upon her was fenomenal. A good thing she was already a elemental genius from a young age. In order to become a Senjuu you needed to master two elements before going to your first class. This alone was proof she was a true nin in training. Every morning and every night she executed the 9 senjuu law kata to improve her ninja spirituality. This kata was one of her secret training methods that made her in the strong warrior that she is.
By using this vision on the world with full comitment she passed the academy with ease. She didn't make friends at all. Her devotion to the cause is to great to have those distractions in her life.
Now she was at the brink of becoming gennin, and that made her realize that she has to learn teamwork from now on and let her individual past behind.
Gennin
This is it, the day she graduated into the next step of her ninja life.But deep inside her it wasn't satisfying at all. She wanted to finish her final Senjuu training and do her first grade test. If she succeeded she would make her father proud again.Since the dead of mother he hadn't much joy in his life.
But first things first...Checking wich team i'm in for my gennin training...

In her mind she looked forward to the first missions that would come quickly now.
RP sample
She sat on her knees, with her legs folded neatly underneath her. Her hands rested on her thighs. The deep red cloak draped loosely around her neck following the smooth movements of the easten wind. The mountain area of the konoha land was exotic, huge patches of grass spread along here and there over the mountain ridge. The young girl stared out into the bright blue skies, her expression empty. Her green eyes were ice as she singled out a particular black hawk in a large flock traveling away from the Leaf Village. It seemed to be reluctant to depart, but eventually followed with the others.
"come over here boy!! "lekkerkerker" "lekkerkerker" !!!!

Her gaze fell from the skies and onto the black-haired boy playing in front of her. His bright crimson eyes were filled with warmth, and innocence. She continued to look to the energetic boy, a small soft smile taking her pale lips, a smile..that didnt match her cold gaze. Many minutes passed where she watched the boy entertain himself before he noticed his audience. Loud laughter bubbled out from the young child as he lunged at her, a wide grin spreading across his pale face, showing his fangs.

The hawk flew bright up in the moroon blue sky, Her wings were like mirrors that broke the sunbeams into a firework of dark brown colors, When the hawk heard his owner yell he changed his direction and started to lower altitude to finaly land on her shoulder. The moment the hawk touched the shoulder with his claw the two chakras of the hawk and donderwolk merged togheter into a beautifull unity. Now the beast and his owner were one and the same.

to be continued.

Posts : 423

a) name: “Donderwolk” is a legit name. though i’ll have to tell you that the name you choose now, is the name you’ll have to stick with.
b) appearance: i’m afraid you’ll need to add more to your description. tell me what her usual casual attire is, is there a difference between everyday and mission clothes? does she have any distinguishing marks? any amputations? etc.
c) personality: this is the most important section in your character app. elaborate and tell us how she acts around people she knows and doesn’t know. does she have trust issues? any habits or hobbies?
d) special characteristics: your second special characteristics say that you will have the ability to stop time. time control, of any kind, isn’t allowed here. so i’m afraid that ability will never be developed, sorries. remove.

e) doton jutsu- mud river [doryu taiga]: how much of the ground is she able to turn into mud? and for how long, or is this permanent? also, remove the part where it says “wherever the mud river will take him or her.”
f) doton jutsu- knight of dust [chiri no kishi]: what rank of jutsu can effectively break the armor?
g) doton jutsu- subtle shockwave [seichi yoshin]: what’s the diameter of the shockwave?
h) archery jutsu: i'll get back to you on this.
i) summon jutsu: you don’t have anything under it. remove.
j) clan jutsu: as a genin, you are only allowed e-c ranked jutsu. remove all b-ranked jutsus.
k) weapon: as a genin, you are only allowed e-c ranked weapons. remove or re-rank the bow and fix the information accordingly.
l) items + gear: your own special arrows need its own weaponry template.
m) pet: fill in the “background” information.
n) eyes: i'll get back to you on this.

o) background information: remove that link.
p) history: you need more information about your childhood and your academy years. remember, you’re not starting out as an academy student, so you can just make that part up.
q) role-playing sample: where is it? you need one.

Posts : 423

otay, onto the other stuff.

a) character specialty: you have weaponry as one of your specialties. according to the weaponry guide, you need to pick a main and a sub weaponry category. they can be found here. you can see that there is no specific "archery" category, but choosing "ranged" as your main weaponry tech will allow you to still have those archery skills.
b) archery jutsu: those are not jutsus, they're basic understandings of the arrow your character already know. i suggest that you take them out of the weaponry template and mould them into a big paragraph. you are free to create actual archery jutsus.

c) hawk eyes: it seems plausible, but you'll need to add some drawbacks. perhaps some chakra loss or weakened sense? thoroughly explain how the "trade-off" would work please.

Posts : 25

a) name: “Donderwolk” is a legit name. though i’ll have to tell you that the name you choose now, is the name you’ll have to stick with.
a') freedom of the pen!
b) appearance: i’m afraid you’ll need to add more to your description. tell me what her usual casual attire is, is there a difference between everyday and mission clothes? does she have any distinguishing marks? any amputations? etc.
b')added a little... more info will be written during the rpg...you can't expect me to write about scars if i hadn't had a rpg battle yet
c) personality: this is the most important section in your character app. elaborate and tell us how she acts around people she knows and doesn’t know. does she have trust issues? any habits or hobbies?
c') freedom of the pen!This is me! like it or not!
d) special characteristics: your second special characteristics say that you will have the ability to stop time. time control, of any kind, isn’t allowed here. so i’m afraid that ability will never be developed, sorries. remove.
d') I wrote about a vision, not about a fact...so no harm if i let it stay in my app....

e) doton jutsu- mud river [doryu taiga]: how much of the ground is she able to turn into mud? and for how long, or is this permanent? also, remove the part where it says “wherever the mud river will take him or her.”
e') Jutsu is fine! where the mud goes is dependeble on the area it is used in.... on a cliff it will flow faster then on the sand. On a grass field it will become a mud puddle...it depends on area
f) doton jutsu- knight of dust [chiri no kishi]: what rank of jutsu can effectively break the armor?
f')changed like requested
g) doton jutsu- subtle shockwave [seichi yoshin]: what’s the diameter of the shockwave?
g')changed like requested
h) archery jutsu: i'll get back to you on this.
h')ok
i) summon jutsu: you don’t have anything under it. remove.
i')ok, fixed
j) clan jutsu: as a genin, you are only allowed e-c ranked jutsu. remove all b-ranked jutsus.
i')fixed
k) weapon: as a genin, you are only allowed e-c ranked weapons. remove or re-rank the bow and fix the information accordingly.
K')weapon was made by donderwolks father, that's why it is A rank...but as genin i can only use it as a C rank right...why alternate? i'm not gonna abuse it...But changed it to your wishes
l) items + gear: your own special arrows need its own weaponry template.
h')ok, but those are things i wanna do inside the rpg...archery jutsu's i have now is basic knowledge in order to use the bow.
m) pet: fill in the “background” information.
m')fixed
n) eyes: i'll get back to you on this
n')ok.

o) background information: remove that link.
o')ok...lame!!!
p) role-playing sample: where is it? you need one.
p')ok wrote it

a) character specialty: you have weaponry as one of your specialties. according to the weaponry guide, you need to pick a main and a sub weaponry category. they can be found here. you can see that there is no specific "archery" category, but choosing "ranged" as your main weaponry tech will allow you to still have those archery skills.
a') This is ant zifting! My weaponry contains more info then all applications i chacked to create this one...why do you put the bar so high for me and neglect it for others! Jeezes!!!!!!!!!! [ Smile

frustrasion blow up from all changes i did... Smile

dont take it personal Smile

)
b) archery jutsu: those are not jutsus, they're basic understandings of the arrow your character already know. i suggest that you take them out of the weaponry template and mould them into a big paragraph. you are free to create actual archery jutsus.
b') The basic knowledge is needed to handle the bow, and if you looked deeper into it! you would have seen it is placed in a quotation within a spoiler...so the quote is the paragraph! The real archery jutsu's will be made inside the rpg

c) hawk eyes: it seems plausible, but you'll need to add some drawbacks. perhaps some chakra loss or weakened sense? thoroughly explain how the "trade-off" would work please.
c') it is about the deeper connection between animal and host...can you give me a explenation how sharingan works to the deepest grade?

Posts : 509

'-Donderwolk has some strange trait in her, she has the ability to calm her direct surroindings, If this is a real special trait maybe it wil evolve into a stopping time bubble ability.But at gennin rank it is too early to say if this ability wil ever be developed.'

1.) I'd like you to explain this extremely well, time control and manipulation can be a big problem. I won't say you simply can't have it at the moment, so i'll reserve my judgement for when you've explained it better.

Name: Kuchiyose no Jutsu - Summoning Jutsu
Rank: C
Element: N/A
Description: To perform this jutsu the user have to sign a contract to an animal. Then, by donating a small amount of blood, or meeting any additional requirements, the user is able to summon a "summon" of the summoners will. Summoning jutsu can also be used to summon other things than just summons. Some have also specialised in summoning different items, that have been sealed away with fuuinjutsu earlyer.

2.) I could be wrong about this but i don't seem to ever recall hearing that summonings were taught in the Academy or that ninja or Academy rank had the knowledge to perform such jutsu. You might want a second opinion tho, perhaps things are different on this forum? OR you could simply move it under your clan jutsu and i'd be happy with that.

Posts : 25

1: It is an idea i want to develop during the rpg..so i truly dont know in wich way this gonna go. The power to sit in the middle of animals in the forrest like a budha..or if it gonna develop into something more warfare based. Rpg will tell i guess

2: Made it a wood element that jutsu, but i think academy students are teached the basics of what a summon is. That jutsu is almost the same

Posts : 509

I'm sorry Donder but i really need some sort of indepth explanation before i can approve that, it's the 'special trait maybe it wil evolve into a stopping time bubble ability' that i'm most concerned with. Time manipulation is extremely powerful even in it's basic/low use, so you can see why i can't just allow you to have something like that without knowning what it is i was approving?

Posts : 423

a) personality: now, i don't like it. no one has a personality that short. you can go on for days explaining how you feel to someone else, so treat this character exactly like that. add more.
b) special characteristics: a vision? i don't see that word in there, and if you're not going to be developing that ability, why put it in your app? anyways, lucky's gonna handle that part.

c) doton jutsu- mud river [doryu taiga]: add that in there. you also need to tell me how much of the ground you are able to turn into mud.
d) weapon: well, what's the difference between changing it from a-rank to c-rank? does it have any special abilities? because what you put in for its spec.char doesn't really say much. if it's just a simple bow, i don't see why it has to be a-ranked, despite the fact that her father made it.

e) items + gear: if you don't have those special arrows yet, please remove it from your app. as you find/make them through rp, that's when you can put in a weapon app in the weaponry forum.
f) pet: your background information is denied. look here for details under "background."

g) history: add more. you can always take a peek at others' applications to get your ideas flowing. remember, your previous history is made-up. go crazy. also, you need a genin arc. just tell me what you have been doing as a genin and such.
h) role-play sample: your current sample is about 200 words. the post count minimum for genin is 250. add more, please and note that you must post a min of 250 words when role playing.

a) character specialty: pick a main and a sub for your weaponry specialty. the link is still up in my post. and there's no bias here; i put the bar high for everyone, not just you.
b) archery jutsu: i understand that they're just basic knowledge, so that's why i asked you to take them out of the jutsu form. mould it into a paragraph and keep it in that spoiler so we know that your character knows the basics. and that's fine, you can always make jutsu after you've been approved.

c) hawk eyes: no, i can't. and i don't need to. plus, what about the deeper connection? how does the eye-shift work? add drawbacks and explain more.

Posts : 25

a) personality: now, i don't like it. no one has a personality that short. you can go on for days explaining how you feel to someone else, so treat this character exactly like that. add more.

Quote :: Donderwolk is a spicy girl, always up for a laugh and a joke. She absolutely hates structure and control in her life. She's a true rebel in the deepest sence of the word. She's a rebel from nature out. So it's a character trademark that can be hated or loved. Inside missions or warfare she works best alone because of her archery training inside her own clan family. Donderwolk can be considered as a secret suprise element inside battles or as a watcher over the bigger playing field inside warfare. Even if she is a rebel from nature her family consider her as a girl with the charisma of jeanne d'arc the lady out of the old legends.
But all by all is donderwolk a verry loving lady that have a calming aura upon people in her close distance.Many of her fellow nins call her a little exentric...it goes near to narcism..

This is small and not in depth for you?
b) special characteristics: a vision? i don't see that word in there, and if you're not going to be developing that ability, why put it in your app? anyways, lucky's gonna handle that part.
erased...it's not worth the ripping away of rpg spirit
c) doton jutsu- mud river [doryu taiga]: add that in there. you also need to tell me how much of the ground you are able to turn into mud.
added
d) weapon: well, what's the difference between changing it from a-rank to c-rank? does it have any special abilities? because what you put in for its spec.char doesn't really say much. if it's just a simple bow, i don't see why it has to be a-ranked, despite the fact that her father made it.
Father made it with special chakra ball's in, so he made it ...so the balls are A rank. It's not because the weapon is A i can use it as a A jutsu/attack inside combat.

e) items + gear: if you don't have those special arrows yet, please remove it from your app. as you find/make them through rp, that's when you can put in a weapon app in the weaponry forum.
added 2 arrows + 1 weapon technique
f) pet: your background information is denied. look here for details under "background."

g) history: add more. you can always take a peek at others' applications to get your ideas flowing. remember, your previous history is made-up. go crazy. also, you need a genin arc. just tell me what you have been doing as a genin and such.
That's against my own rpg spirit and rules. I dont wanna write stuff about persons i never met inside rpg. So give me some rpg room for a wile.
A history or diary will be implemented or updated soon.That was my original request in the first place.
h) role-play sample: your current sample is about 200 words. the post count minimum for genin is 250. add more, please and note that you must post a min of 250 words when role playing.
added....

a) character specialty: pick a main and a sub for your weaponry specialty. the link is still up in my post. and there's no bias here; i put the bar high for everyone, not just you.
dont understand your ant zifting but added something...if that isn't it...so be it
b) archery jutsu: i understand that they're just basic knowledge, so that's why i asked you to take them out of the jutsu form. mould it into a paragraph and keep it in that spoiler so we know that your character knows the basics. and that's fine, you can always make jutsu after you've been approved.

c) hawk eyes: no, i can't. and i don't need to. plus, what about the deeper connection? how does the eye-shift work? add drawbacks and explain more.
changed it ...

Posts : 509

I'm sorry to say but in my opinion i still think you require more personality, not a huge amount more tho.

Quote :: Father made it with special chakra ball's in, so he made it ...so the balls are A rank. It's not because the weapon is A i can use it as a A jutsu/attack inside combat.

What exactly are these 'special' chakra balls and what do they do, i'll need a more indepth explanation if there A rank.

I agree that at your current rank you don't need to have an overly large history ^^

Posts : 25

fully done now! ,

And the black chakra pearls just give the bow more strenght at the weak joint places in the bow construction. So it can handle strong jutsu's in the future. It's just a normal bow...nothing special about it.

Posts : 423

a) archery information: take the basic information out of the jutsu template, and mould it into a paragraph.

b) weapon- bow: what rank and type of jutsu can your bow withstand? add that in. as well, if it is just a normal bow that has been made of chakra balls and special wood, it would be just c-rank. it has no abilities and no special characteristics, other than the fact that it is made partly from chakra and can withstand strength.
c) weapon- strong arrow: change to e-rank. it's just an arrow, nothing special.

d) hawk eyes: while your eyes are being shifted to the hawk's, your chakra pool is off-limits. meaning, you can't perform jutsus during that period of time. add that in, please. we will discuss lifting this drawback as your genin moves up to chuunin.

e) history: a genin needs 3 history arcs: rogue [birth] arc, academy arc and genin arc. your genin arc does not have to be very big; just tell me what your character has been doing as a genin since academy graduation. this is mandatory.

Posts : 25

ρяσмιѕє. ♫ wrote:: a) archery information: take the basic information out of the jutsu template, and mould it into a paragraph.
i did what you asked, but once again it's dumb! and stop acting so plz! or let an other mod handle my app...your not good for me

b) weapon- bow: what rank and type of jutsu can your bow withstand? add that in. as well, if it is just a normal bow that has been made of chakra balls and special wood, it [color=red]would be just c-rank. it has no abilities and no special characteristics, other than the fact that it is made partly from chakra and can withstand strength.

Jeezes! talking about making drama over info that is so ovious to all rpg players.... changed it in C rank...hope you are happy now

c) weapon- strong arrow: change to e-rank. it's just an arrow, nothing special.
It is a arrow that does damage, and since i'm a gennin ...damage factor is C graded..... Why change it? No need for it!

d) hawk eyes: while your eyes are being shifted to the hawk's, your chakra pool is off-limits. meaning, you can't perform jutsus during that period of time. add that in, please. we will discuss lifting this drawback as your genin moves up to chuunin.

No way! This is something to use in combination with archery jutsu's...no way i'm gonna put that limitation on it. Nothing says it couses a chakra stop...NO NO NO...

e) history: a genin needs 3 history arcs: rogue [birth] arc, academy arc and genin arc. your genin arc does not have to be very big; just tell me what your character has been doing as a genin since academy graduation. this is mandatory.

History is fine enough! and i start as genin! i wil not write gennin history!

Posts : 423

a) archery information: no, you didn't. i want you to take "cast of arrow," "arrow construction" and "14 arrow movement" out of the jutsu form. that means, take away the unnecessary "name," "type" and "element" tags. keep the descriptions, and mould it ALL into a paragraph. your images can stay.
this is necessary because if it is in your character application, it means your character has knowledge of it.
b) weapon- bow: then why is your long bow an e-ranked bow? the physical difference between the bow is their size, which shouldn't result different ranks. your bows are the same as shuriken and kunai; e-ranked. change it, please.

c) hawk eyes: add in the fact that your chakra will be heavily drained after one usage, and you may not exceed 2 usages during the time period of a regular battle/spar. again, this will be discussed when your rank moves up.

d) history: you need a genin arc if you are starting out as a genin. write one, it's mandatory.

Posts : 509

I'm only posting because Adam requested i help with your application, although some of these points will match Promise's i can asure you, i've thought about them indepth.

Donder i can't help but notice you seem to disagree with some of Promises edit points, i hope you realise she's just doing her job. The guidelines that we follow when looking over applcations are what we abide by. If she's asking you to add information or to change something it's because it needs to be done.

Quote :: No way! This is something to use in combination with archery jutsu's...no way i'm gonna put that limitation on it. Nothing says it couses a chakra stop...NO NO NO...

I agree with Promise, at your current rank it would be extremely hard for your character to manipulate your vision and combine it with that of an animal, no to mention maintaining the link between the two WHILE you perform hand seals, dodge attack etc.. This is something that comes with your character being a higher rank.

Quote :: History is fine enough! and i start as genin! i wil not write gennin history!

I'd like to just say i was wrong about your history, although in the past it would of been standard i'm afraid it's not anymore. Please could you write a paragraph on the begginning of your Genin life.

Posts : 25

Quote :: a) archery information: no, you didn't. i want you to take "cast of arrow," "arrow construction" and "14 arrow movement" out of the jutsu form. that means, take away the unnecessary "name," "type" and "element" tags. keep the descriptions, and mould it ALL into a paragraph. your images can stay.
this is necessary because if it is in your character application, it means your character has knowledge of it.
done
b) weapon- bow: then why is your long bow an e-ranked bow? the physical difference between the bow is their size, which shouldn't result different ranks. your bows are the same as shuriken and kunai; e-ranked. change it, please.
done
c) hawk eyes: add in the fact that your chakra will be heavily drained after one usage, and you may not exceed 2 usages during the time period of a regular battle/spar. again, this will be discussed when your rank moves up.
done
d) history: you need a genin arc if you are starting out as a genin. write one, it's mandatory
done

fixed all requested, plz clean up my app before locking it.

Posts : 423

alright, nicely done. see? hard work pays off.

Senjuu, Donderwolk [Konoha Genin] 209ldgh

approved. welcome to konoha :)