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| | Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] |  |
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Raiki Sasme
Age : 32
Posts : 65
![Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Vide](https://2img.net/i/fa/vide.gif) |  Subject: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Thu 10 Jun 2010, 12:39 am | |
| Basic Information:
Name: Raiki Sasme
Secondary Title:
Age: 13
Gender: Male
Physical Appearance:
Sasme is a tall shinobi for his age standing at a thick five foot and three inches being also very muscular from all of his training while in the academy with two other sensei besides the one in the academy. Most people are shocked at his age by his size and pure mass when looking at him expecting him to be at least sixteen and a chuunin. Even more so, he likes to throw people off again by his laid back stance always walking around lazily and sitting slouched wherever he goes. To be honest Sasme likes to be lazy, he figures working his ass off all the time gives him the right to be lazy when peoples lives are not at stake.
Aside from those simple facts he has bright blonde hair which is usually wild and all over his head and drooping down on both sides of his head. He also has dark ocean like eyes which can be seen filled with determination and focus at all times even when he is lazing around or goofing off. From all of his training and conditioning Sasme has built up a noticable tan which covers everything above his waste and from his knees and below. His usual Genin attire is not much different then his normal attire which is a simple pair of black shinobi pants with tape on his shins down to his ankles along with black shinobi sandals. On top he wears a simple white shirt with the Konoha burning fire symbol on the front as well as a glove on his left hand which he uses to help control jutsu and handle his blade. His blade is strapped on his back using simple rope and his own headband which adorns the front of the strap.
Personality:
Sasme for the most part is like any other thirteen year old kid and is basically over excitable, over emotional, quick to jump to conclusions, and most of all hormone deranged. Even with all the common faults most teens have he still manages to work as hard as he can when he trains even though the results may make him regret it the next day he will never stop his hard work. He will admit most of all that he is not smart compared to the top of the class, when it comes to strategic thinking that is. However at critical skills and reaction time he believes he has a true gift for.
Something that truly stand out amongst Sasme's wide ranged personality, is his ability to make friends and to keep them close. He will do anything and everything to help out a friend even if it put his life on the line he would do it in an instant. His loyalty to the village is the same extint if it meant protecting the people of the village he would easily throw his life on the line for it, no matter what may happen.
Catch Phrase: Impossible is just a word to get me motivated.
Clan Information:
Clan Name: Raiki
Clan Location: Konoha
Clan Traits: Lightning & Wind Affinty only ones available in the clan.
Kekkei Genkai: Raikigan
Secret Clan Jutsu: Rai-God S-class Rai-Tama A-class Rai-Strike C-class
History:
Creation:
- Spoiler:
The Raiki Clan was originally a family of assassians before the Ultimate Conflict which meant even before Jutsu was around they were very skilled at sneaking and killing silently. However after the doujutsu master arrived and slayed the beast who endangered the entire world he saved one last special bloodline and instead of giving it to the now chakra enabled human race, he gave an unknowing lesser demon its knowledge so that it would not be lost forever, but would hopefully be found by worthy Shinobi.
This matters to the Raiki clan due to the fact that since they were such an important part of Kumo's assasain group that once rumor of a power lesser demon was heard of they wanted to harness its power. This was nearly a hundred and fifty years after that very lesser demon had been gifted with a special ability by the Redoku Sennin, the greatest most powerful Ninja to ever touch the Earth. This however meant that the lesser demon was aging having been already matured once he was blessed by the Redoku Sennin.
The Raikage immediately sent out his best Hunter Ninjas along with half of the Raiki family to take out the demon and bring it's body back. It was not long after that the small army had found the old demon which came in a very unexpected form. A giant land turtle. It was nearly two stories high with a large silver metallic looking bolt along the side of its shell. At once all of the shinobi converged onto the old demon hitting it with every jutsu they had damaging it or so they hoped.
The Turtle Demon had receeded into his shell avoiding all the jutsu and coming out with not a scratch on him. It was at this time that Taguno Raiki had took his oppourtunity to dash underneath the body of the Turtle and just as he did the Turtle unleashed a horrid breath that spewd Lightning out of it's body and all but disentegrating the bodies of Shinobi all around him. Leaving only the lucky soul of Taguno underneath of him which the Turtle had yet to notice having now killed all of the shinobi around him he began his slow march again.
That was until a very unfamiliar weight was felt now crawling up his neck which the Turtle assumed that one of them had survived. Although he was very surprised and impressed seeing as how every Village that had to capture him had failed miserably with none alive he was ready to see who this survivor was. The Giant Turtle then proceeded to shake his head forcefully causing the body to flail off of him very weakly.
Taguno was now standing before the massive form of a Demon Turtle that had effortlessly killed the strongest Shinobi in Kumo. However he was not scared but more he had a look of fearlessness on his face, because truly he should be dead, but he's not. There was a reason for that and he new he would fnd out. And as he thought the Turtle did not take a fighting stance or prepared a breath but instead pulled his arms and legs in and layed down.
The look on his face the Turtle thought was very similar to that of the very person who gave him the strength he possessed now. Sighing heavily the Turtle began to speak, "Young warrior you have survived where all before you have died in vain and without effort on my part." A thought conveyed in the mind of the Turtle, a way to finally rest peacefully. "Although you are not the strongest I have faced nor the weakest you have something they did not. You have the look of the one. The one who bestowed upon me this strength."
Taguno could only watch and listen keeping the same determined look on his face and still standing should something change and he need to escape. However he could not bring himself to speak or move his mouth at all, even though he was trying to ask as many questions as were poping into his head. This did not matter as the Turtle once again began to speak,"That is why I have decided to end the chase after my head and my powers. I am old and cannot die, however I can choose to exist in a vessel until that vessel dies allowing me to take my leave as well."
"Yes I have chosen you to become that vessel for me." He thought once more to Redoku Sennin and his only words for him, to pick a deserving Shinobi and he'd know what to do. "It seemed he really did know it all. Thank you, for giving me purpose." He spoke to himself however with his large size Taguno was able to hear the words escaping his mouth causing him to become confused. However that was short lived as the body of the Turtle began to dissapate into thin air but first conveyed to the small human "Go to Konohagakure, there is nothing left for you on Kumo, they have already killed your wife and family. Putting your brother in control. Trust me you will find a new life there."
Before Taguno could answer back his body quickly flashed a bright light causing him to have to look away and caused him to black out as well.
(incase anyone is confused. No they do not hold a bijuu or demon it was simply the only way the Turtle could die having been bestowed amazing powers once before. And basically all that happened after the event that took place here is that Taguno moved to Konoha lived his life and took a wife having kids who would develop very unique abilities that he chronolized and documented, and applying for clanship from the Hokage and thats it. Only reason i didnt add this, was because it would mess with the flow of the story and was kinda boring.)
Clan Details:
Open
Rank Information:
Rank: Genin
Village Affiliation: Konoha
Special Information:
Character Speciality:
Main:Ninjutsu
Sub:Weaponary
main: Swords
sub: None, or simply more training with swords.
Elemental Affinity:
Main: Raiton
Sub: Fuiton
Special Characteristics: Massive amounts of Chakra Reserves due to a sealing jutsu that his father placed on him (explained in history). The amount of more chakra obtain throughout his life averages up to be near 35% more then any other currently in action Genin. Only Average control. maybe even sub-par
Skill Information:
Note: You can find the other templates in the other Creation Areas if your character needs them.
Jutsu Template:
Basic Jutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Explosion Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user will activate an explosion tag. Normally, the tag will be placed by them, so they know where it is and can easily activate it.
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu - Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: A very basic technique that allows a ninja to escape from rope binds.
Name: Kai - Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: Kai is a Ninjutsu technique which allows the ninja to avoid the effects of a Genjutsu illusion. After forming the needed handseals, the Genjutsu technique will not affect the ninja. The ninja can also use the technique on another individual who was unable to avoid the attack. After forming the needed hand seals, the ninja touches the one affected to end the affect of the spell.
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu - Clone Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: Bunshin no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique which every ninja learns at the Ninja Academy. The Bunshin technique creates a copy of the ninja without substance. The copy resembles the ninja in every way. This clone can function as a distraction or as means to confuse one's opponent. As soon the Bunshin gets attacked or comes into contact with an opponent, it will disperse
Name: Henge no Jutsu - Transformation Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: Henge no Jutsu is a ninjutsu technique which every ninja learns at the Ninja Academy. Henge allows the ninja to transform themselves into any person or object. This allows the ninja to move with stealth or to trick their opponents
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu - Change of Body Stance Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: Kawarimi no Jutsu is a basic Ninjutsu technique. When in danger the ninja will quickly substitute themself with another nearby object. This can be a block of wood or even another person. This allows the ninja to quickly flee and hide while the original object takes the brunt of their opponents attack.
Ninjutsu:
- Spoiler:
Name: Shunshin no Jutsu - Body Flicker Technique
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: None
Description: Shunshin no Jutsu is a basic Ninjutsu technique. The ninja will appear and disappear in an instant, allowing them to retreat or attack suddenly. To facilitate the movement the ninja will often use nearby elements such as mist, sand or leaves to mask their appearance or disappearance.
Name: Raiton Strike! (lightning strike)
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Raiton
Description: After the few signs are completed a bolt of lightning flys off the users arm and is fired directly at its target with extreme percision and damage. The range for the Raiton Strike is as far as the users chakra can go. Basically as long as he continues to pump chakra into the technique it will continue going. Only on a straight path however. If the bolt hits however it can result in a paralyzed limb or third degree burns depending on direct impact.
Name: Daitoppa - Great Breakthrough
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fuuton
Description: Fuuton • Daitoppa is a Ninjutsu technique which utilizes the Wind Element. After bringing his hand to his mouth, Sasme will blow a large blast of wind capable of leveling almost anything in its way. The range is variable depending on the chakra channeled into the attack, small amount is a short distance, large amount of chakra, a long blast of wind.
Name: Hiraishin - Sparking Electric Needle
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Raiton
Description: Raiton • Hiraishin is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Lightning Element. After coming into physical contact with his opponent, Sasme will raise his arm into the air. He will then generate a bolt of electricity which will travel through his body into the body of his opponent. The bolt will usually stun the opponent for a few moments or if the blast is strong enough render them completely helpless.
Name: Rai-Tama-Lightning Ball
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: A
Element: Raiton
Description: Rai-Tama is a Ninjutsu technique which utilizes the Lightning Element. After infusing chakra brought to his hand in a swirling and control ball Sasme will cause the ball to spark and ignite into a deadly Lightning Ball. The technique needs a great amount of chakra as well as training to acquire the control needed for the technique. The two ways to utilize this jutsu include throwing the ball at the intended target which even if it doesnt hit has a large Blast radius of twenty feet. The original way to use the jutsu is to simply smash it into the body of the target ripping them to shreds and shocking them the whole time.
Name: Rai-God- Lightning God
Type: Forbidden Ninjutsu
Rank: SS
Element: Raiton & Wind
Description: Rai-God is a forbidden Ninjutsu that is never to be taught, used, trained, or talked about in anyway. It's very history is not allowed to be taught due to the danger and destructive past of its origin. The user will create a storm using his Wind and Raiton Elemental affinties and cause the now storming clouds above to thunder and Lightning. After this has begun the User will use his Lightning Chakra Affinty along with his Wind affinty to direct the Lightning strikes. However it is easy to lose control of the Jutsu causing a horrible Lightning storm completely destorying everything and everyone in it. The Jutsu is nearly impossible to stop once begun. (there are ways to counter it but im not telling cuz then everyone will do it)[/spoiler]
Other
[spoiler]
Name: Kuchiyose no Jutsu - Summoning Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: A powerful jutsu, Ninpo Kuchiyose allows a ninja to summon animals, objects and the dead to fight on their behalf. There are many ways in which the ninja can sign a contract with a summon but it is usually done with the ninja signing a blood contract with the animal species. This allows the user to summon different size and skilled animals to fight along side them, or on their behalf.
Name: Kinobori no Waza - Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: N/A
Type: Ninjutsu/Chakra Control
Element: N/A
Description: Kinobori no Waza, the art of tree climbing serves a dual purpose. Taking part in Kinobori Shugyou (Tree Climbing Training) helps a ninja learn how to focus their chakra. It also teaches the ninja how to run up trees and walk on vertical walls. The training helps the ninja learn how to focus just the right amount of chakra to a particular part of their body. The amount needed to climb is small but it must be precise. The feet are regarded as the hardest location to master chakra focusing. So by gaining the art of this skill, the ninja will have any jutsu available (theoretically) because they will be able to focus their chakra as needed.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza - Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: N/A
Type: Ninjutsu/Chakra Control
Element: N/A
Description: A variation on the Kinobori no Waza (Act of Tree Climbing), the art of water surface walking allows a ninja to walk on water as if it was a solid surface. Focusing an even amount of chakra out of the soles of their feet, they can balance themselves on the very surface of the water.
Weapon Template:
Name: Crescent
Quantity: 1
Rank: C
Appearance:
Special Abilities/Characteristics: This particular Katana was made by a former ANBU shinobi who knew his way around many jutsu as well as weapons, so when this blade was made it was infused with the ability to manipulate chakra. In the way it is made to manipulate it creates a layer of chakra equivalent to that of the Users natural affinty. While chakra is being pumped into the blade a small crescent moon is lighted on the hilt, therefore the name Crescent. To be restored once he is a Chuunin
Origin:
As said above the blade was created by a former ANBU who had a liking for katana himself, so once he retired he became a weapons master and focused his life on making and training with katana in particular. How he had come to meet Sasme happened as he was about to leave the village in order to collect more of the rare materials that were needed for some of his personal weapons he liked to create, such as the Crescent blade attached to his side.
He saw the boy training in the training ground on his way through the village having a lot of trouble with proper kunai throwing technique. Something that the ANBU had in common with the child, for when he was young he never liked throwing weapons very much and that is what had him interested in katana for the first time. Feeling for the boy the old ANBU walked over to him and after introducing himself as a simple merchant began to instruct the boy on other weapons that could make up for a lack of kunai training.
At the mention of a Katana the boy sounded very excited, and the ANBU noticed it. After letting him use the basic Katana that he always carried along his Crescent blade he began to think hard on a very important desicision. He then told the boy that if he would continue to practice with him once a week for the next year, he'd give him the blade attached to his hip, he told him it's name was Crescent, and it had very interesting properties.
With that motivation Sasme had come to train with him every week at the same training ground from the time he turned eleven to his just before his twelth birthday. Though Sasme was far from a master at the Katana the old man was very pleased with the improvement and told him he was far better suited with the Katana then the kunai he was having so much trouble with.
Item Template:
Name:
Rank:
Type:
Natural Abilities:
Background Information
History:
Birth:
Sasme was born thirteen years ago on the twenty second of July from the Konoha hospital, a boy from the couple of Tiyana and Hukudo Raiki. Both were excellent Shinobi his father a Jounin and his mother a retired Medic who soon after began to work at the hospital to do her part after retiring. They both were hoping that the young boy would hopefully be another addition in the always growing Shinobi of Konoha and would do his part to keep the village safe.
The name Sasme in which they named him came from his great grandfather who was one of the first in their family to become remembered for their Kekkei Genkei. Whether or not he would live up to these expectations will be something monitered closely.
Pre Academy: 1-6
Even before joining the Academy Sasme had a distinct interest to one day become a Shinobi this was made obvious by his constant sneaking around the house just to see if he can get by his parents, or even when he tried to get his father to teach him the jutsu that he knew. At his young age it was very entertaining to watch him try to do hand signs to indicate certain jutsu. However his father did oblige to teach him basic Tai-jutsu stance and what chakra was.
These were basic things that the academy would teach him, but his father figured it couldnt hurt to give him a small headstart on trival things.
Academy: 7-12
Once Sasme finally turned seven he asked to be put into the Academy which his parents happily did so with pride very evident in their hearts. After Sasme's first day in the Academy his father decided to teach him about his clan and how to ready himself for his own special training. He began to tell him the tale that passed down from their ancestors on how their family gained suched a Kekkei Genkei. Thankfully due to the Uchiha's Sharingan they are able to keep their own bloodline a hidden jewel in the village of Konoha only noticed when it is used to perfection.
Sasme loved it, being taught basics at the Academy then coming straight home to learn more about his clan, it was as if his time in the Academy was spent being a sponge soaking up all the knowledge around him. By the time he was eleven he had met up with a tall and very lean blacksmith who seemed to know a lot about Katana and even offered to train him for a whole year. Sasme quickly accepted and now it seemed that he would be a rounded shinbi as soon as he left the Academy, being taught basics there, his clan at home, and now Katana training every week.
Graduation: 13
The time had come for Sasme to go back to the Academy one final time as a student he hoped anyway, he had been training for the past two weeks straight just to make sure he had it down. After making it in on time for class he began to wait paitiently as his name was near the bottom of the list he cursed himself at always being at the bottom just because his sur name started with an R.
However after waiting for nearly an hour it was finally, his turn. He entered the room confidently and when requested to perform the bunshin making two clones he did so with pride as they both came out perfect. Then he was asked to perform a henge which the first time he done he forgot to change the clothes as well, but a quick reaction had him doing it again the correct time. With a smile from his teacher he was given a thumbs up that he had passed.
Role-Play Sample:
Pushing himself harder he was quickly growing exhuasted, as the pants coming from his mouth were becomming harsher and harsher. Sweat was easily pouring off of his blonde hair as he was pushing the limits on his body, "Father, I dont think I ca- can go a-anymore." His voice dragged and stuttered as he tried to raise his front up from the hunched over position that he was resting in.
The answer he got was not a kind one however as his father quickly barked out to him, "You want to be a shinobi then you need to learn how to push yourself further then your body will let you!"
Sasme wasnt sure which was burning him up more the burning sun which was directly overhead or the constant battering he was taking from his father. Even with his Raikigan activated he could feel himself moving slower and not being able to react as fast as he normally should be able to. He wasnt going to give his father the satisfaction of having to yell at him again though as once he raised up he quickly began to run through hand seals, "Raiton-Strike!!"
The bolt quickly began to revolve around his arm and fired forward towards his father who was caught by surprise if even just for a moment it nearly got him as it blazed by his arm searing his long sleeved shirt and leaving an obvious burn on his shoulder. His father quickly smiled in approval at his son then wiped his forehead noticing quiet a bit of sweat drenching his forearm. "Let's go eat." The praising voice of his father quickly brought a smile on the Genin's face.
"Sounds good to me!" Sasme quickly chirped at him as he began to move forward sweat still dripping of his hair causing it to flatten out and get slightly into his eyes. A thought however echoed in his head, "To be a shinobi i'll need to push myself past even my body's limits" He would make sure to remember that the next time he trained with his team.[/b]
Last edited by Raiki Sasme on Wed 30 Jun 2010, 3:56 pm; edited 5 times in total |
|  | | K
Posts : 126
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Thu 10 Jun 2010, 6:51 am | |
| Add two paragraphs for appearance and add a second paragraph to personality.
Clan's must be approved of in the clan section. Once it has been approved there then put all of that information here.
Weaponry is broken up in to weapon types. Please list you main and sub type. The information can be found in the equipment section.
Massive amounts of chakra are looked down upon, and you'd have to quantify how much extra you have. In addition, the sealing technique by the father is very naruto-eque, which is lame and bordering on not being approvable.
- Quote :
- Kai - Release
Kokohi no Jutsu - False Place Technique
Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu - Sly Mind Affect Technique
Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Viewing Technique
Konoha Kage Buyou - Leaf Shadow Dance
Put these in the proper format with description and such. Also, you are ninjutsu/weaponry user, so you can't have genjutsu, taijutsu, etc.
- Quote :
- Name: Raiton Strike! (lightning strike)
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Raiton
Description: After the signs are completed a bolt of lightning flys off the users arm and is fired directly at its target with extreme percision and damage. However to generate Lightning requires massive amounts of chakra.
What is the range of this technique? How many hand seals are used? Does the user need a line of sight or effect to the target? How much chakra is used? How long does it take to charge? Does the user have to aim the technique? What effects does the lightning have on the target?
- Quote :
- Name: Daitoppa - Great Breakthrough
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fuuton
Description: Fuuton • Daitoppa is a Ninjutsu technique which utilizes the Wind Element. After bringing his hand to his mouth, Sasme will blow a large blast of wind capable of leveling almost anything in its way. A variation of the technique involves a smaller blast of wind which gets ignited with Lightning.
You took a cannon technique and customized it, that's a no go. You could have clarified it, such as giving a range, but you didn't. Also, how do you perform the variation? How do you get the air to burn? Is there a separate technique used to might the lightning?
- Quote :
- Name: Juha: Shou - Beast Wave: Palm
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Fuuton
Description: Juha Shou is a Ninjutsu technique used by Sora. Using his Wind nature, Sora will create a blades of wind which he can launch towards his opponent. Sora can control the path of the blades and because they are made of Wind chakra, they can easily cut through Kage Bunshin.
Since you don't have his special turn into a wind chakra wielding beast ability, I'll assume you were smoking something when you added this to your app. Remove it.
- Quote :
- Name: Hiraishin - Sparking Electric Needle
Type: Ninjutsu
Rank: C
Element: Raiton
Description: Raiton • Hiraishin is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Lightning Element. After coming into physical contact with his opponent, Sasme will raise his arm into the air. He will then generate a bolt of electricity which will travel through his body into the body of his opponent.
Your description tells me nothing about the effects of this jutsu. See my previous comments about some things you might add in addition to descriing the effects this has on the target.
Remove all your striked out jutsu, they don't belong.
Your katana is atrocious. I won't even bother quoting it as it's just an eyesore. Try describing it, length of the blade, the tsuba, the hilt, the sheath. Your origin also needs a ton of work. And for your information, every katana made by hand is unique and an extension of the makers art. Maybe you should read more about katana's before you even try to make one again. I suppose you were also unaware that in japan the samurai thought that a katana was the soul of a warrior.
Your history is bad bad bad. Really bad. I honestly couldn't bring myself to read it all. The grammar and punctuation errors were something else. In addition, you story seemed like a big rip off. Also, this site doesn't allow cursed seals.. which is what I assume yours is until you tell me otherwise.
The bit about having so much chakra you can't control it screams naruto, which is a definite no no. We all make our own ninja here, not rip off naruto and sasuke in one terribly built package. Overall I didn't see a whole lot of effort in this app, and I won't unleash this onto other RPer's as such.
Being that your app is not even close to standard, I'm going to require an RP sample, Adam giving you a pass or not. No one get's a pass with me, so start writing bucko. |
| | | | K
Posts : 126
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Thu 10 Jun 2010, 7:00 am | |
| | It has been brought to my attention that you never had permission from Adam to "get a pass" on your rp sample. I haven't decided what to do about it yet, but there will likely be repercussions. |
| | | | Raiki Sasme
Age : 32
Posts : 65
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Thu 10 Jun 2010, 6:38 pm | |
| Finished. Sorry i didnt do it last night. I was way tired. And also sorry for my attitude last night. I gotta do better about that.
But anyway, i think i caught everything this time around and i actually made a solid effort through out. |
| | | | K
Posts : 126
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Sat 12 Jun 2010, 2:09 pm | |
| Forumnation is having trouble so I can't open the spoilers right now, so I'll have to check them later when it's working. Your weapon and your mian and sub weapon types made clear that you didn't go to the equipment section to read up on the specialty. Please go and read that information and choose your weapon types from the right list.
Also, as you would be aware if you had read about the weapon specialty, chakra conductive weapons are B ranked. |
| | | | Raiki Sasme
Age : 32
Posts : 65
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Sun 13 Jun 2010, 8:15 am | |
| | Alright fixed and btw you may not realize this. But you get a lot more done with honey instead of vinigar >_> |
| | | | CYANIDE CANDY
Posts : 1084
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Wed 16 Jun 2010, 11:57 pm | |
| - Raiki Sasme wrote:
Secret Clan Jutsu: Rai-God S-class Rai-Tama A-class Rai-Strike B-class Rai-Taijutsu C-class
You know, you still have to put the secret clan jutsu in jutsu templates. How are we to determine if their is any problem with them if we can't even read a description of what they do?
- Quote :
- Name: Explosion Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: The user will activate an explosion tag. Normally, the tag will be placed by them, so they know where it is and can easily activate it.
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu - Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: A very basic technique that allows a ninja to escape from rope binds.
Name: Kai - Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: N/A
Description: Kai is a Ninjutsu technique which allows the ninja to avoid the effects of a Genjutsu illusion. After forming the needed handseals, the Genjutsu technique will not affect the ninja. The ninja can also use the technique on another individual who was unable to avoid the attack. After forming the needed hand seals, the ninja touches the one affected to end the affect of the spell.
You're missing these three basic jutsu.
Genin can't have B ranked weapons, meaning no chakra conductive weapons until you are Chuunin Rank.
Also, you didn't seem to do everything that K said needed fixing. |
| | | | Raiki Sasme
Age : 32
Posts : 65
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:29 am | |
| If you looked you woulda seen in the crossed out jutsu were my too high ranked clan jutsu so they are there.
Now i had those three i think i accidently deleted them but they are back now. And the weapon app was made origionally when the app was for a jounin so i can take away the chakra infusing ability until he is a chuunin however since i have worked hard on the rest i'd like the blade to stay. |
| | | | Travis
Posts : 414
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Fri 18 Jun 2010, 9:44 am | |
| Has you clan been approved? Please provide a link.
Remove all the crossed out jutsu.
Change your sword rank to C and remove Special Abilities for now.
Need 2 paragraphs for looks no matter what. |
| | | | Raiki Sasme
Age : 32
Posts : 65
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Mon 21 Jun 2010, 3:50 pm | |
| Ok fixed the only crossed out jutsu are clan jutsu which are taught directly from the clan once he reaches the rank requirement.
Im still waiting for my clan to be checked again which i updated a week ago and hasn't been checked. |
| | | | Adam
Age : 31
Posts : 8965
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:31 am | |
| | Please elaborate on your chakra reserves in Special Characteristics, give me a percentage and I'll say if it's acceptable. |
| | | | Raiki Sasme
Age : 32
Posts : 65
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Wed 30 Jun 2010, 4:01 pm | |
| | Fixed, now just waiting on my clan to be accepted. |
| | | | Adam
Age : 31
Posts : 8965
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Wed 30 Jun 2010, 4:06 pm | |
| | Okay granted approval unless another one of my associates spot anything, we are waiting on the clan to be approved for the official stamping. |
| | | | ₡amisado
Age : 30
Posts : 1256
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:20 pm | |
| | I will archive this topic if no renewed interest is shown in the next 24 hours. |
| | | | ₡amisado
Age : 30
Posts : 1256
| | Subject: Re: Sasme, Raiki [Konoha Genin] Mon 27 Sep 2010, 3:14 am | |
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