Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done]

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~Lightbulb~
~Lightbulb~

Age : 28
Posts : 1

Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] EmptyWed 13 Oct 2010, 2:10 pm

Name: Hotarubi, Nemuru
- Nickname: Days Messenger
Age: 11
Date of Birth: 14 April
Chinese Zodiac Sign: Rabbit
Gender: Male
Clan: Hotarubi
Looks:
Spoiler:
Spoiler:

Personality:
Spoiler:

Basic Clan Information:
Clan Name: Hotarubi (Presumably dead clan as he is the only known survivor)
Kekkei Genkai:
The clans main ability is the doujutsu Yamayuri/Golden-rayed lily. This is an eye ability that lets the clan members draw in light from there surroundings through their eyes, the light is manipulated for jutsu like Ogoun hikari baasuto no jutstu/ Golden Light Blast technique. The eye technique is born into the user and is activated at the approximate age 10.

Clan History:
Spoiler:
Link: [Provide if the Clan is approved in the Clan Creation Section.]


Rank Information:
Rank: Genin
Village: Kirigakure

Skill Information:
Skill Specialty:
Main: Ninjustsu
Sub: Taijutsu
Elemental Affinity: N/A
Special Characteristics:
Spoiler:

Jutsus:
[NOTE: use this Template for each Jutsu.]
Academy Jutsu:
Spoiler:

KKG
Spoiler:

Sensor
Spoiler:

Styles:


Weapons:
Basic Weapons
Spoiler:


History and RP Sample:
History:
Pre Academy arc
Spoiler:

Academy Arc
Spoiler:

Genin
Nemuru was put into a standard three man team with a jounin instructor. They completed many d rank missions and five c rank missions, At one point they ended up in an ambush for a simple escort and the mission quickly escalated into a B rank mission. luckily No one got seriously injured. Nemuru continues to do missions with his team.

Rp Sample:
Nemuru slowly sat up in bed. The morning had come and he was ready to go to the academy for the final exam of the year. Nemuru didn't bother opening his eye's. His blindness made it unnecessary, instead he performed three quick handseals. A picture appeared in his mind, he was sitting in his bed, the covers uselessly hanging of to one side of the small bed. He stood up and went to pick up some clothes. The white shirt slid easily onto him fitting loosely around his small torso. He clipped on his golden shoulder pads and then donned his gray cloak. Glancing over to the clock on his wall he realized that he should move on quickly.

Children were heading over towards the academy building. Nemuru joined a bunch of taller kids.
"Hey." said one of them very casually, glancing over in his direction.
"Morning." He replied just as casually. The group slowly walked over towards the main complex, hurried children scooting around the edge of them. When they finally got to the class room they all took seats towards the back. It was surprising that nobody new Nemuru was blind. Everyone just presumed he could see even with his eye's closed.

The written test was simple, it had a few history questions and a couple of ninja sayings. But the rest was easy enough. Nemuru lazily wrote down the answers. This was like walking to him, the knowledge just seemed to come naturally from his brain. The practical was just as easy to him. One by one each member of the small class was taken into the examining room where two Chunin Instructors sat. Five people entered and exited the room one by one, until it was finally his turn.
He walked in the two instructors looked at him. "Please state your name." said the one on the right.
"Hotarubi, Nemuru." he quickly replied. "ok Nemuru i would like you to perform the Bunshin no jutsu." Nemuru quickly made the handseal and gathered his chakra. Muttering under his breath he quickly says "Bunshin no justu" and instantaneously five clones are made. The Instructor then replied "Well done and congratulation on passing." The instructor walked up to him shook his and firmly and passed him a new forehead protector ninja headband.


Last edited by ~Lightbulb~ on Thu 14 Oct 2010, 8:43 am; edited 1 time in total
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Caranore
Caranore

Age : 35
Posts : 1492

Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] EmptyWed 13 Oct 2010, 5:48 pm

Sensor isnt a specialty here. That applies to weaponry, ninjutsu, etc. Sensor would be a special characteristic, so you will need to change that.

Clan needs to go in the clan application section with the jutsu, follow the template there AND here also (meaning include the jutsu) and the description of the clan needs to be much longer.

Remove the increased chakra SC. That doesnt fall in line with your clan, which is the only way we allow chakra bonuses on intial character making. PLus, the highest amount we allow is 50% more, not 130%.

Invisibility needs more description, as do all your special characteristics. Sensor Genius in itself will need to be toned down since its essentially sight without sight and an 11 year old Genin does not have the capability nor the knowledge to actually reasonably have any of those SC beyond what I said needed to be removed.
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Brad
Brad

Posts : 509

Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] EmptyWed 13 Oct 2010, 10:15 pm

Just to add to Caranores list, you state in your Clan information that your eyes have a Fuuinjutsu (seal) on them, which is activated when you die? or are near death? Regardless, you need to state the Fuuinjutsu and give it an indepth explanation.
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Swisher
Swisher

Age : 26
Posts : 239

Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] EmptyThu 23 Dec 2010, 1:59 am

Quote :
20x Flashbombs
15x Explosive Tags
10x soldier pills
15x Light weight Kunai (These kunai are custom made so they are light enough for Nemuru to throw due to his lack in physical strength. These kunai are about half the size of normal kunai. They are used to throw objects like Explosive tags and Flash bombs rather than hurting people.)

Soldier Pills are banned.
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Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Hotarubi,Nemuru [Done] Empty

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