|
| |
Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Primates Complete Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:04 am | |
| Name: King Kong Rank: C Appearance: A large Gorilla who excels in Taijutsu, he is often irritated and grumpy at being summoned and stands at roughly the height of 10ft this large summon is always testing the user and will only provide service when it feels like it or if the user has known the summon for sometime. The large Gorilla excels in taijutsu and combines them with it's defensive abilities to create larger-variety of techniques. He is the older brother of Wukong and is incredibly protective of him, when on the battlefeild King Kong will usually show more enthusiasm to fight the opponent. He truly hates his summoner and so will often follow suit of Wukong helping in battle with him instead of the summoner. King Kong is 10ft tall. Contract Type: Clan Seal Species: Primates Speciality: Taijutsu Elemental Affinity: N/A Special Abilities/Characteristics: Raw Strength: Research shows that Pimates are so strong because their nervous systems exert less control over their muscles making gorillas up to 12x stroger than an average human. - Quote :
C-Ranked: 4x B-Ranked: 8x A-Ranked: 10X S-Ranked: 12x Thick Skin: Primate are born mammal with slightly thicker skin than humans. The skin on a human averages about 2.5mm. However for a primates the thinnest skin on it's body is 1cm. Due to this skin thickness it provides primates a greater toughness making their durability 30% greater than human
Summons Jutsu: Basic Ninjutsu: - Quote :
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Element: N/A Description: This jutsu lets the user quickly switch places with another nearby object, such as a plant (normally a section of a log), an animal, or even another person within reach, leaving the opponent open to a counter-attack. Explosive tags can be attached to the replacement for an added surprise. Fundamentally, all ninja know this technique.
Name: Henge no Jutsu Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Element: N/A Description: This jutsu allows the user to assume the appearance of another person, animal, or object. This is one of the basic jutsu taught at the Konoha Ninja Academy. Fundamentally, all ninja know this jutsu. The transformation jutsu is considered to be among the more difficult E-ranke d techniques, since it requires constant emission of chakra while mentally maintaining the form. On top of that, the user would be, most likely,interacting with the environment. This puts much mental strain on the inexperienced ninja.
Name: Tokken [Tackle Charge] Rank: D Type: Taijutsu Element: N/A Description: A Taijutsu technique where the ninja shoulder charges their enemy, driving them away or even into something stable Crushing bones and possibly smashing internal organs. With impressive strength, this technique can be quite devastating.
Name: Tsuin Hanma- Suramu [Twin Hammer Slam] Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Element: N/A Description: The user performs double handed slam onto the ground knocking there target and anything unstable into the air leaving them unbalanced and unguarded. This has a 5m radius
Name: Koutei Fumitsukeru [School Yard Stomp] Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Element: N/A Description: User focuses all strength to their heel and does a full force stomp onto the ground near the opponent creating a hard vibration stunning whoever is within the range of the attack long enough for a second strike. Range: - Quote :
C-Ranked: 5m B-Ranked: 10m A-Ranked: 15m S-Ranked: 20m
Name: WuKong Rank: C Appearance: WuKong rarely speaks, or even changes his expression, he has a knack for ninjutsu but rather helps teach the summoner more about their own spiritual power. Wukong is a ninjutsu user but doesn't really do anything but look incredibly depressed and stare into the enemies eyes but always seems to have the right jutsu on him at the right time Wukong will often, when summoned, simply give the bow to the summoner and procede with the fight. some type of harms way. Wukong stang about 5ft tall and is the oldest of the summonings. Contract Type: Clan Seal Species: Primates Speciality: Ninjutsu Elemental Affinity: Doton Special Abilities/Characteristics: Tremorsense: Being so old [400yrs] and wise among all the primate kingdom, Wukong has spent all of his life devoted to the doton element in which he has even learned to feel the vibrations of the earth and has even learned to locate the positions of such movement by those vibrations. While above ground he can only feel the general direction of the vibrations, but while underground he can lock in on a vibrations position by moving while feeling the vibration, allowing him to hone in on it's location Locating Range: - Quote :
C-Ranked: 10m B-Ranked: 30m A-Ranked: 75m S-Ranked: 100m Lock on Range: - Quote :
C-Ranked: 5m B-Ranked: 15m A-Ranked: 40m S-Ranked: 75m Untrickable Nose Genjutsu have a hard time tricking the Wukong nose and taste buds. Wukong's senses are so far advanced past humans, that often he can tell a genjutsu by it's scent, or lack-thereof. Being in an around the water and mist he knows the limitations of such things to take away the scent of an object, and isn't often fooled. Thus creating a convincing genjutsu to effect him is much harder. This can only alert's him to the use of a genjutsu, not dispel it. *Limitation of the nose and what rank genjutsu it takes to fool Wukong. - Quote :
C/Genin: C-Rank and above B/Chuunin: B-Rank and above A/Jounin: A-Rank and above S/Kage: S Rank and above Smell Memory With such a strong nose, it is no wonder that Wukong excels at remembering scents. Thus he is capable of cataloging people he has come into contact with by smell, something not as easily changed as one might think, and something few think to disguise. Places also are cataloged by smell, along with nearly anything Wukong can get his nose near.
Thick Skin: Primate are born mammal with slightly thicker skin than humans. The skin on a human averages about 2.5mm. However for a primates the thinnest skin on it's body is 1cm. Due to this skin thickness it provides primates a greater toughness making their durability/resistance 30% greater than human.
Summons Jutsu: - Quote :
-
Name: Quicksand Pit Trap Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Three hand seals preempt the creation of a ten foot diameter pit tap anywhere within two hundred feet of the user. The ground in the area that the trap is used can't have a steep slope or be rocky. Quicksand forms in the desired location, the surface becoming flat. The only visual cue of the trap is the all too flat look to the ground. When a person steps into the trap they plunge down into a ten foot deep pit of quicksand. The person caught starts with their arms and head above the surface of the quicksand, being engulfed up to the armpits. Over the course of five posts the caught person will be sucked down and towards the center of the pit. At the end of five posts (thirty seconds) the person will be in over their head in quicksand.
A typical person would need something anchored outside the trap to pull themselves out. Lowering ones arms under the quicksand (to get to a pouch, etc), will result in not being able to pull it back out of the quicksand. Since the average person falls in face first, they are often a few feet or more toward the center of the trap, not near the edge. This trap lasts for the duration of the topic it is used in.
Name: Land Shark Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: The user manipulates the earth around them, turning dirt to mud before diving in. The user can then swim through the earth using a special method of propulsion that uses a very small amount of chakra to propel the user through the mud. As the user moves they leave a trail of mud behind them where the earth was morphed. While near the surface this causes mud to bulge upward in a spray. Thus it is only possible to tell where the user is while they are close to the surface. This is often used for ambush style attacks. His swimming speed while underground is as fast as a person running, but can be accelerated to easily double that for short bursts. Like a great white, he can breach the surface with such force that he can hit a person and send both the target and himself air born.
Name: Earth spikes Rank: C Type: Nnjutsu Element: Doton Description: The user creates spikes of earth that come up from the ground to stab the enemy.This jutsu can be made in a short or mid distace but the jutsu its self is made of a 6 foot radius of spikes that are 6ft tall.
Name: Doton Kawarimi no Jutsu - Earth Change of Body Stance Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: A variant of the normal substitution technique. Instead of replacing themselves with an object, the user of this jutsu manipulates the earth itself, causing the ground to turn to mud and lift up, replacing the user with a pillar of thick mud roughly the same size as the user. This allows the user to substitute without having to worry about finding an object as well as letting them gain more distance from the spot of their substitution as they don't have to return to replace themselves with an object. This means they can cover more ground before the opponent discovers the replacement. Additionally, the pillar of mud can entrap limbs or weapons, the mud hardening just after impact to try and capture the offending attacker.
Name: Subsurface Fracturing Technique Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: The user performs a single hand seal an then delivers a palm strike to the ground. There is a momentary jolt like the first shock of an earthquake as the rocks below the surface crack and fracture, forming a network of connected "fissures" under the ground that make it possible to access water from aquifers trapped under impermeable rock. The rapid shift in the ground is also capable of severely hurting anyone currently under the ground, as tonnes of rock and earth shifting are capable of breaking bones or even crushing someone to death if they are unlucky enough to be between to large rocks. This technique delivers a blunt force attack of equal rank to targets that are merged with the earth.
Name: SheKong Rank: C Appearance: A female monkey summon with a Tomboyish yet playful personality, she is known to tell the user to toughen up if he isn't in good spirits and will not fight if Sun Wukong is on the field or else they will stop fighting the opponent and actually begin to bicker and banter (usually with Sun Wukong hitting on SheKong and Kuro rejecting him) causing them to be rendered useless. She brandishes a Bokken with deadly effeciency and utilises a variety of Kenjutsu on a good level. SheKong also has a tendency to 'fall for' her male summoners and will often attempt to...ehem...mate with them if summoned much to the dismay of many users who aren't into that whole beastiality thing. Contract Type: Clan Seal Species: Primates Speciality: Kenjutsu Elemental Affinity: N/A Special Abilities/Characteristics: Kenjutsu- Art of the Blade. Shekongi was first introduced to Swords when she received her Father’s Katana as a token of achievement. From that point Training in the arts of Sword wielding began for her, though never more than as a secondary skill. She would later further enhance her skill in the art after receiving the Shiro Ku blade, still however kenjutsu remained a secondary focus at best. Since receiving the “Blade of Keening” Sword she has begun putting more emphasis on Kenjutsu training and has become quite proficient at it. Though by no means a master, she is none the less quite skilled, taking full advantage of her extraordinary speed, pinpoint precision and remarkable reflexes, proving quite formidable. Shekong is 5ft tall.
Name: Keening Blade Quantity: 1 Rank: C Appearance: Special Abilities/Characteristics: N/A Origin: This sword was token from her father Wukong.
Unpredicitable This character movements are impossible to read. This character never moves the same way twice. Their speed is always ajusting along with their graceful to chaotic movement. By ding such she has such an odd way of moving she becomes rather hard to read by her opponents making here nearly unpredictable.
Thick Skin: Primate are born mammal with slightly thicker skin than humans. The skin on a human averages about 2.5mm. However for a primates the thinnest skin on it's body is 1cm. Due to this skin thickness it provides primates a greater toughness making their durability/resistance 30% greater than human.
Good Reflexes Good sight, combined with fast thinking and a little training, equals good reflexes for dodging attacks. This is not a skill which could be used for offensive purposes, but it can be used to help dodge attacks because this ability increases her reflexes/reaction 10%. Summons Jutsu: - Quote :
Name: Doppel Rund Streich [Double String Around] Type: Kenjutsu Rank: D Elemental Affinity: N/A Description: It involves two horizontally swung strikes that can hit multiple opponents. It starts from the right, and is the sword is swung almost 320 degrees around. Then the sword is swung back to the right into its original position.
Name: Shunshin no Jutsu Rank: D-S Type: Ninjutsu Element: N/A Description: This jutsu is a high-speed movement technique, allowing a ninja to move short to long distances at an almost untraceable speed. To an observer, it appears as if the user has teleported. A puff of smoke is occasionally used to disguise the user's movements. It is accomplished by using chakra to temporarily boost the user's reflexes. The amount of chakra required depends on the overall distance between the user and their intended destination.
Name: Thousand Step Rank: D Type: Kenjutsu Element: N/A Description: With this technique, the user will increase their speed 25% for a single second, allowing them to move forward for about 10metrers in an instant, This allows the user to step foward and attack with his/her blade at incredible speed that is almost impossible to see with eyes alone. Note: It says almost, that not being that all of my opponents can't see it at all.
Name: Phantom Step Rank: C Type: Kenjutsu Element: N/A Description: This is an assassination technique in which the user will use chakra as a buffer upon their feet to walk though making noise nor vibrations upon the ground/surfaces or anything that is on the ground. In this way, one can move about with a sword and attack without their feet making any noise.
Name: Backhand Bombardment Rank: C Type: Kenjutsu Element: N/A Description: Tai holds his kusanagi in his right hand but stands completely defenseless, waiting for the opponent to attack, once the upon gets close, Tai leaps over the opponent, flipping and landing in a crouching position behind the opponent, grasping the kusanagi blade with two hands, he sends a backhand thrust at the opponents blindside, cutting him in half. Personal Information: - Quote :
-
Seoul didn't meet this summon on his own means. Originally his mother was the original summoner of Wukong and the other Primates in his family. As Taski grew up he had always admired Wukong from the design on his body and to his personality. And when Seoul had graduated from the Academy he immediatly asked his mother to teach him how to summon the Primates she could.
At first she was cautios. She wasnt sure if the Primates was the right summon for him. So instead she tricked Seoul into trying to summon a beast without making a contract. As he did this the young boy was transported to the world of Primates. It seemed to be a deep cavern with blue bugs that lit up the dark. It was a beautiful sight for anyone who had seen it. Seoul was confused on what had happened. As he sat on a rocky boulder sticking out of the dark water below he heard a slimey sound behind him. And in a blink of an eye he was hanging upside down while being held by Wukong. The Primate' yellow eyes were staring into his own
"What are you doing here boy? Youre far from home" The Primate spoke to Seoul in a demanding tone.
The Suna Genin stared into the Primate' eyes with a smirk "I was sent here to get a contract with you slimeballs."
And even though his remark was very disrespectful, Wukong laughed at his attitude. The great ape was reminded of the young Seoul's mother from his attitude. Wukong took Seoul under his wing for the next few hours teaching him everything he would need to be a summoner. He walked him through contract making and guided the Genin back to his home world. Before Seoul was sent back home he met the "PrimaBoss." The great boss saw potential in the young genin and stretched out its paw to the boys let hand and clinged onto the boys wrist. Seoul winced at the pain and suddenly it was over. The paw was removed and the contract could now be seen on his left wrist. Seoul was exicted and showed it with a toothy grin before he was sent back home in an abrupt puff of smoke.
Once Seoul returned he immedatly looked at the new summon contract on his left wrist. Wukong was the only primate he got to know personally while he was in the other world. But he was the only ape he wanted anyway. And even though Seoul's mother could summon bigger and better things, he stuck with Seoul but eventually learned how to summon many others.
Last edited by Aries on Thu 07 Oct 2010, 8:01 am; edited 22 times in total |
| | | Vegapunk
Posts : 2032
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:19 am | |
| - Edited in Speciality to your application as it was recently added into the template to make it more accurate on that.
- Also you have too many jutsu for a C-rank summon. Please read the new rules on how many jutsu your summon is allowed. |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:46 am | |
| Edited |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Fri 27 Aug 2010, 5:17 pm | |
| complete |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Mon 30 Aug 2010, 11:47 am | |
| BUMP.... for the 3 F-ing day you lazy sum beaches haven't tried to mod. |
| | | Vegapunk
Posts : 2032
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Mon 30 Aug 2010, 1:38 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Raw Strength:
Research shows that Pimates are so strong because their nervous systems exert less control over their muscles making gorillas up to 12x stroger than an average human.
As it relates to the species I can see why, but in an RPG context this is too much especially for a C-rank. I suggest you level-rank this from E-S giving the different variations in strength.
- Quote :
- Tremorsens Wukong has learned to feel the vibrations of the earth and has even learned to locate the positions of such movement by those vibrations. While above ground he can only feel the general direction of the vibrations, but while underground he can lock in on a vibrations position by moving while feeling the vibration, allowing him to hone in on it's location.
Would need a range in which he can sense this (remember he is C-rank).
- Quote :
- Name: Angled Earthen Shield
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: The user performs a hand seal and channels chakra to their feet and then takes a half step forward with a stomp at the end. The ground under the users forward foot depresses a foot as the ground in front of it buckles and bulges upward. The bulge snaps at the apex with the side facing away from the user jutting up above the other side which acts to reinforce the ramp like structure. The ramp that acts as the shield stands ten feet tall at the upper edge with a low angle from the ground to the top. The angled form of the ramp increases the cross section of material blocking an attack as well as helps deflect energy up and away, over the user of the jutsu. This jutsu can block and redirect a wide variety of attacks because of it's simple but robust design. Unfortunately, it doesn't provide much protection from any direction but the front. If deployed directly in the way of an attack the user is nearly always unscathed behind the shield, but if it is deployed on a bias or against slow engulfing attacks, it isn't effective.
When deployed directly against an attack that it is capable of defending against, it can block up to A rank techniques. When deployed improperly, or against an attack that is slow or engulfing only a part of the technique reaches the user. Depending on the effects of the jutsu this can reduce the damage the user takes. I would say limit this to A-rank physical techniques, and put the emphasis on how it can only block a single attack from the front. Also add a cooldown of a single post.
- Sorry for the late checking, Aaron should be on it soon. Otherwise these summons are really well done and interesting. ^^ |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Mon 30 Aug 2010, 3:00 pm | |
| Edited
I was thinking though.....the size of my primate would mke them even more strong huh?
if so adding the rank structure wouldn't make sense |
| | | Wind
Posts : 730
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Mon 30 Aug 2010, 4:28 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Locating Range:
Quote:
C-Ranked: 15m B-Ranked: 30m A-Ranked: 75m S-Ranked: 100m
Lock on Range: Quote:
C-Ranked: 10m B-Ranked: 20m A-Ranked: 50m S-Ranked: 75m You're going to want to reduce these ranges, because they are simply far to wide for a C ranked Summon. And honestly, I have a problem with this in general. With such thick skin, and a fur covered hide no less, I don't see how the gorilla would have sensative enough a hide to detect super tiny vibrations going through the earth. I honestly don't feel this ability is suitable to the species. Can you go into more detail explaining just how the ape learned such a trick? |
| | | Wind
Posts : 730
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Tue 31 Aug 2010, 12:06 am | |
| - Quote :
- Inpredictable
This character movements are impossible to read. This character never moves the same way twice. Their speed is always ajusting along with their graceful to chaotic movement. It should be noted that this "special ability" has absolutly no effect on Doujutsu which read movement to predict combat moves. This is also rather vauge, holding no real abilities on its own. Does this mean that you can't block it cause it's so "unpredictable?" Does this mean that you can't hit it, because it's dodging is so "unpredictable"? Does it just mean you'll never know what to buy it for it's birthday, because it's so "unpredictable?" What -exactly- does this abiity do?
- Quote :
- Good Reflexes
Good sight, combined with fast thinking and a little training, equals good reflexes for dodging attacks. This is not a skill which could be used for offensive purposes, but it can be used to dodge attacks which could appear to be impossible to dodge otherwise Kay, so what does this one mean? Dodge impossible to dodge attacks? Does this mean he just gets to dodge everything for free? No? Please do explain what sorts of attacks this allows you to dodge, cause as it is printed it's a free "dodge whatever I want to dodge" ability, which is a bit to powerful for a C ranked summon.
- Quote :
- Kenjutsu- Art of the Blade.
Shekongi was first introduced to Swords when she received her Father’s Katana as a token of achievement. From that point Training in the arts of Sword wielding began for her, though never more than as a secondary skill. She would later further enhance her skill in the art after receiving the Shiro Ku blade, still however kenjutsu remained a secondary focus at best. Since receiving the “Blade of Keening” Sword she has begun putting more emphasis on Kenjutsu training and has become quite proficient at it. Though by no means a master, she is none the less quite skilled, taking full advantage of her extraordinary speed, pinpoint precision and remarkable reflexes, proving quite formidable. Shekong is 5ft tall. Please add the sword, with the weapon template, to this summon so we can see what it looks like. This is a C ranked summon, and can have at most a C ranked sword.
- Quote :
- Name: Thousand Step
Rank: C Type: Kenjutsu Element: N/A Description: With this technique, the user will increase their speed 25% for a single second, allowing them to move forward for about 10metrers in an instant, This allows the user to step foward and attack with his/her blade at incredible speed that is almost impossible to block with normal effort alone The last line seems to imply that this jutsu does more than just give you a 25% speed boost or 1 second. Please clarify if it somehow makes you better with a sword, as the last line says you're almost impossible to block. Speed doesn't have much to do with that, when it comes to testing martial skill levels. While speed does help, it's certainly not the only deciding factor when fighting someone. I'd say remove that last line, because it's only filler, and gives the wrong idea about this jutsu. It's effects are pretty obvious, and for what it does, I'd also argue that this was slightly over ranked, and could get away with being D ranked, and not C ranked. Using Shunshin at C rank far, far exceeds the listed range of the Thousand Steps, and Shunshin also moves you far faster than thousand steps. While the two jutsu are not exactly the same, I think they are similar enough to draw this comparison.
|
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Tue 31 Aug 2010, 6:40 am | |
| Completo |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Wed 01 Sep 2010, 3:57 pm | |
| whoa whoa whoa buma mutha fuka |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Thu 02 Sep 2010, 3:59 pm | |
| ok if I got to do this again im gonna go FUCKING beserk |
| | | Wind
Posts : 730
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Sat 04 Sep 2010, 1:20 am | |
| First things first, watch your mouth. I do not appreciate F bombs on a PG-13 forum, so stop using them in OOC posts. I may just make it a habit to ignore applications with such words in the future, so please stop.
- Quote :
- Unpredicitable
This character movements are impossible to read. This character never moves the same way twice. Their speed is always ajusting along with their graceful to chaotic movement. By ding such she has such an odd way of moving she becomes rather hard to read by her opponents making here nearly unpredictable. Please make a note that this special characteristic does nothing against Doujutsu, such as the Sharringan, because it does not, and can not defeat a doujutsu as such. Also, keep in mind that this is not going to allow you to auto hit people, nor will it allow you to dodge every attack. Honestly, this SC seems a little OP for its intended use, as it seems to imply you'll never be hit, or dodged.
- Quote :
- Thick Skin:
Primate are born mammal with slightly thicker skin than humans. The skin on a human averages about 2.5mm. However for a primates the thinnest skin on it's body is 1cm. Due to this skin thickness it provides primates a greater toughness making their durability/resistance 30% greater than human. As I read this over I grow confused, because I am trying to figure out what the "stamina" of a human would be, then what the stamina of a ninja would be, then what the stamina of an ape would be. As there are no defined values for a human's "Stamina" you are really just adding 30% to an imaginary number, which is mathematically impossible. I would recommend, for simplicities sake, that you turn this into some sort of Damage Reduction. For example, you could have it reduce taijutsu and weapon damage, because I also don't see this helping much against elemental damage. Skin is skin, after all, and a little thickness isn't going to save you from the elements.
- Quote :
- Name: Phantom Step
Rank: C Type: Kenjutsu Element: N/A Description: This is an assassination technique in which the user will use chakra as a buffer upon their feet to walk though making noise nor vibrations upon the ground/surfaces or anything that is on the ground. In this way, one can move about with a sword and attack without their feet making any noise. Does this jutsu have a durration, or does it only last 1 post?
- Quote :
- Name: Shunshin no Jutsu
Rank: D-S Type: Ninjutsu Element: N/A Description: This jutsu is a high-speed movement technique, allowing a ninja to move short to long distances at an almost untraceable speed. To an observer, it appears as if the user has teleported. A puff of smoke is occasionally used to disguise the user's movements. It is accomplished by using chakra to temporarily boost the user's reflexes. The amount of chakra required depends on the overall distance between the user and their intended destination. This needs to be removed, as this is a Kenjutsu summon, and can not have ninjutsu techniques. This is available to any shinobi that attended the academy, and summons do not go to ninja school. Remove it, and replace it with a sword technique.
Ok, on to the middle ape.
- Quote :
- Name: Land Shark
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: The user manipulates the earth around them, turning dirt to mud before diving in. The user can then swim through the earth using a special method of propulsion that uses a very small amount of chakra to propel the user through the mud. As the user moves they leave a trail of mud behind them where the earth was morphed. While near the surface this causes mud to bulge upward in a spray. Thus it is only possible to tell where the user is while they are close to the surface. This is often used for ambush style attacks. His swimming speed while underground is as fast as a person running, but can be accelerated to easily double that for short bursts. Like a great white, he can breach the surface with such force that he can hit a person and send both the target and himself air born. Ok, this says that it allows the user to "move as fast as a person running, and twice that for short bursts." Does this mean, as fast as a normal person, or as fast as a shinobi? Tragicaly, I will not approve a C rankjutsu that allows anything or anyone to move twice as fast as a shinobi, so.. think it over. Everything in this jutsu is fine, except that 100% speed boost.
- Quote :
- Name: Doton Kawarimi no Jutsu - Earth Change of Body Stance
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: A variant of the normal substitution technique. Instead of replacing themselves with an object, the user of this jutsu manipulates the earth itself, causing the ground to turn to mud and lift up, replacing the user with a pillar of thick mud roughly the same size as the user. This allows the user to substitute without having to worry about finding an object as well as letting them gain more distance from the spot of their substitution as they don't have to return to replace themselves with an object. This means they can cover more ground before the opponent discovers the replacement. Additionally, the pillar of mud can entrap limbs or weapons, the mud hardening just after impact to try and capture the offending attacker. This jutsu simply does to much for a C rank. I would suggest removing the last part about trapping people in mud to make this more fair. I also am rather hesitate to approve it at all, as this seems like a "free dodge" for any attack used against you. I'll let it slide, as it takes Chakra, but you'll need to remove the last part, or increase it to B rank. Of course, as this summon can't use a B rank jutsu.. you should probly just remove the last part.
- Quote :
- Name: Subsurface Fracturing Technique
Type: Ninjutsu Rank: C Element: Doton (Earth) Description: The user performs a single hand seal an then delivers a palm strike to the ground. There is a momentary jolt like the first shock of an earthquake as the rocks below the surface crack and fracture, forming a network of connected "fissures" under the ground that make it possible to access water from aquifers trapped under impermeable rock. The rapid shift in the ground is also capable of severely hurting anyone currently under the ground, as tonnes of rock and earth shifting are capable of breaking bones or even crushing someone to death if they are unlucky enough to be between to large rocks. This technique delivers a blunt force attack of equal rank to targets that are merged with the earth. You're going to need to reword the last part of this jutsu. I would suggest completely removing the damage comments, and simply state that this jutsu deals damage to those underground. The damage will be calculated the same was as all other elemental jutsu, and simply deal a C rank worth of earth damage. As it's worded now, this deals S Ranked damage to submerged Kage, and that is simply a no no. This jutsu will always deal the same damage, no matter the rank of your opponent.
- Quote :
- Thick Skin:
Primate are born mammal with slightly thicker skin than humans. The skin on a human averages about 2.5mm. However for a primates the thinnest skin on it's body is 1cm. Due to this skin thickness it provides primates a greater toughness making their durability/resistance 30% greater than human. However being so old Wukong sense of resistance has decreased also to 15%. Same comments I made for the previous summon.
- Quote :
- Untrickable Nose Genjutsu have a hard time tricking the Wukong nose and taste buds. Wukong's senses are so far advanced past humans, that often he can tell a genjutsu by it's scent, or lack-thereof. Being in an around the water and mist he knows the limitations of such things to take away the scent of an object, and isn't often fooled. Thus creating a convincing genjutsu to effect him is much harder. This can only alert's him to the use of a genjutsu, not dispel it.
I feel this ability needs to be reworked, because the circumstances in which this ability will fail are not accounted for. This would really only work when in a place that was relativly calm, and devoid of people, or other scents would easily fool his nose, because he'd be able to smell something. It is effective against some genjutsu, but really only the most ideal o circumstances. I'd suggest toning it down so it doesn't sound like it automaticaly recognizes all genjutsu.. cause.. I won't approve something that does.
- Quote :
- Tremorsense: Being so old [400yrs] and wise among all the primate kingdom, Wukong has spent all of his life devoted to the doton element in which he has even learned to feel the vibrations of the earth and has even learned to locate the positions of such movement by those vibrations. While above ground he can only feel the general direction of the vibrations, but while underground he can lock in on a vibrations position by moving while feeling the vibration, allowing him to hone in on it's location
Locating Range: Quote:
C-Ranked: 10m B-Ranked: 30m A-Ranked: 75m S-Ranked: 100m
Lock on Range: Quote:
C-Ranked: 5m B-Ranked: 15m A-Ranked: 40m S-Ranked: 75m Please lower or remove all of the ranges above C. I would suggest simply doubling the previous rank, I.E. C-10, b-20, A-40, S-80. I still feel 80 meters is way to long, but because of the pattern and chakra cost, it will be alright. Oh yes, do be sure to add a chakra cost to this, because the focus requires to feel tiny vibrations, over the natural vibrations that constantly goes on through the earth, is something that would require the use of chakra to sense. Chakra, or a KKG, at least.
mmmkay, now for the top most ape.
- Quote :
- Name: Koutei Fumitsukeru [School Yard Stomp]
Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Element: N/A Description: User focuses all strength to their heel and does a full force stomp onto the ground near the opponent creating a hard vibration stunning whoever is within the range of the attack long enough for a second strike. I'm not exactly sure how this would "stun" Someone. Put them off balance, yes, but stun them, no. Stunning someone implies complete bodily paralysis for a limited time, not that they're off balance because the ground is moving. I would suggest rewording this, or better explaining how the small earthquake physicaly stuns them. I also think you should remove the A and S rank ranges, because they are getting to big at that point. You should also note that the shock wave caused by this is a visible one, and that it causes the ground to ripple, because with the force you're talking about using, it would.
- Quote :
- Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu
Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Element: N/A Description: This jutsu lets the user quickly switch places with another nearby object, such as a plant (normally a section of a log), an animal, or even another person within reach, leaving the opponent open to a counter-attack. Explosive tags can be attached to the replacement for an added surprise. Fundamentally, all ninja know this technique.
Name: Henge no Jutsu Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Element: N/A Description: This jutsu allows the user to assume the appearance of another person, animal, or object. This is one of the basic jutsu taught at the Konoha Ninja Academy. Fundamentally, all ninja know this jutsu. The transformation jutsu is considered to be among the more difficult E-ranke d techniques, since it requires constant emission of chakra while mentally maintaining the form. On top of that, the user would be, most likely,interacting with the environment. This puts much mental strain on the inexperienced ninja. These are both Ninjutsu and need to be removed, as this is a Taijutsu beast. These are available for free to academy students, but summons do not count as academy students, because they never attended the academy. they need to go, and be replaced by Taijutsu.
- Quote :
- Raw Strength:
Research shows that Pimates are so strong because their nervous systems exert less control over their muscles making gorillas up to 12x stroger than an average human. While gorilla are a lot stronger than normal humans, they do not have that advantage over ninjas. PLease lower these numbers, or just keep it at x4, because their strength already is assumed to go up with their raising ranks. Tragically, the idea of an ape that is 12 times stronger than a Kage just doesn't fly. I would suggest just lowering this to a flat x4, which is still pretty damn powerful.
- Quote :
- Thick Skin:
Primate are born mammal with slightly thicker skin than humans. The skin on a human averages about 2.5mm. However for a primates the thinnest skin on it's body is 1cm. Due to this skin thickness it provides primates a greater toughness making their durability 30% greater than human Please see the comments for the other two versions of this, and correct it in the same manner.
|
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Thu 30 Sep 2010, 10:32 am | |
| ok someone else mods this Wind is just overboard.....besides she isn't a summoning mod |
| | | ₡amisado
Age : 30 Posts : 1256
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Tue 05 Oct 2010, 2:11 pm | |
| I suggest Aaron checks it, but if hes busy I guess I could do it. |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Wed 06 Oct 2010, 3:12 pm | |
| still no reply |
| | | Aaron
Age : 28 Posts : 2538
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Wed 06 Oct 2010, 8:44 pm | |
| - Aries wrote:
- Untrickable Nose Genjutsu have a hard time tricking the Wukong nose and taste buds. Wukong's senses are so far advanced past humans, that often he can tell a genjutsu by it's scent, or lack-thereof. Being in an around the water and mist he knows the limitations of such things to take away the scent of an object, and isn't often fooled. Thus creating a convincing genjutsu to effect him is much harder. This can only alert's him to the use of a genjutsu, not dispel it.
State what rank is takes to fool this SC. I suggest C or higher.
Apart from that, I see nothing else wrong with this application. |
| | | Aries
Age : 36 Posts : 1004
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Thu 07 Oct 2010, 8:02 am | |
| Whan Bam Thank you man |
| | | Aaron
Age : 28 Posts : 2538
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete Thu 07 Oct 2010, 6:30 pm | |
| Approved. |
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Primates Complete | |
| |
| | | |
Page 1 of 1 | |
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| FORUM STAFF |
|
Affiliates |
OUR BUTTON
OUR AFFILIATES
|
COPYRIGHT |
Naruto© - The Creator [ Masashi Kishimoto] Custom Characters, Equipment, Techniques, Images, etc. [Their Rightful Owners] Any creations, posts, and ideas from this site are copyrighted to their respective owners. Therefore, information may not be taken or used without their permission. Failing to abide is plagiarism.
|
|