Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Librarian Duties Evaluation

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James
James

Posts : 140

Librarian Duties Evaluation  Vide
PostSubject: Librarian Duties Evaluation Librarian Duties Evaluation  EmptyMon 29 Nov 2010, 1:13 pm

Character Name: Daosumi, Zilva
Rank: Genin
Village: Kumo
Mission Bulletin: https://ultimateshinobi.darkbb.com/approved-missions-f4/librarian-duties-zilva-t2423.htm#25722
Mission Link: https://ultimateshinobi.darkbb.com/library-f59/librarian-duties-zilva-t2425.htm#25851
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Dan
Dan

Age : 30
Posts : 1236

Librarian Duties Evaluation  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Librarian Duties Evaluation Librarian Duties Evaluation  EmptyMon 29 Nov 2010, 3:31 pm

Official Grading: Done in two parts. Five points are based on the critiquing fields listed below in comments, the other five is based on the Mission Ranking. This ends up adding up to 10, five points on each. 5/5 + 1/5 = 6/10.
Unofficial Grading: 17/20.
Comments: Very interesting approach to the Prologue and Epilogue of the mission's story, I enjoyed reading it and it was one of the few current-RP's that seemed to paint a clear picture in my mind. Your grammar was fine and your sentence structure impeccable, the length of response for your mission was immense and although you were faced with the shitty-ness of the mission, you made it actually enjoyable to read. I also love it how you described me as your "father"; good choice on words. Bronzed Elephant definitely suits my amazing physique. Wink

Supposedly you get 6 Mission Points as a result. Good work whippersnapper.
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James
James

Posts : 140

Librarian Duties Evaluation  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Librarian Duties Evaluation Librarian Duties Evaluation  EmptyMon 29 Nov 2010, 5:25 pm

May I ask what I can improve on for future reference? Razz
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Dan
Dan

Age : 30
Posts : 1236

Librarian Duties Evaluation  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Librarian Duties Evaluation Librarian Duties Evaluation  EmptyTue 30 Nov 2010, 2:16 am

Only form of improvement is how you jump between scenarios and sentences without all too much linking leaving the reader sometimes confused as to how that happened. Other then that, there is nothing. D<
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Librarian Duties Evaluation  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Librarian Duties Evaluation Librarian Duties Evaluation  Empty

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