Tenshi Clan [The First-Borns] |Complete|

Posts : 55

Clan Name: Tenshi
Clan Location: Several. The main clan compound is in a distant island, relatively hidden. Their main alliance is surprisingly the Wind Country and Sunagakure no Sato.

Clan Traits: Always born as twins. Each twin as a mark denoting them as children of Suzaku or of Byakko, thus providing them with either a wing shaped mark, or a claw shaped mark. They also hold a rivalry with their related clan, Akuma.

Kekkei Genkai:

~Bukiamatsu~
Heavenly Weaponry.
This is the main method of skills of the clan : requiring a weaponry specialty, this allows the clan member to call upon weaponry that is linked to their own selves and souls. The weapon they summon is relative to who they are, and is connected at birth, with a drop of blood, to a specific item that can summon it. This is the only weapon they can summon in this method their whole lives.

~Tennyo~
Heavenly Maiden.
This has to do with the twin aspect of the bloodline. As most people are quite afraid of character abuse with the fact of two characters, the bloodline itself limits this. As twins, they each obtain a specialty weapon : one close range, one long range. However, they must share specialties, and contain relatively the same chakra pool. This is accomplished by a clan gem, nammed the Kami. Each twin's chakra is sealed into the Kami, and then it's broken in half, each piece then broken further to be fashioned into jewelry to be worn. The Kami links their chakra system to itself, and become their combined chakra system. So therefore, if the Kami runs out of chakra, so do the twins. This limits quite a few of the more potentially dangerous things. Also, because of this, each twin only holds a single element.

~Tenpuku~
Heavenly blessing.
This is what differs the Tenshi and Akuma clans apart. Those from the Tenshi clan are granted a special skill. This skill is unique to the Tenshi clan itself : the ability to summon two powerful things. Suzaku, the Guardian of the South and Byakko, Guardian of the West. Both represent holy elements to the world, and thus the Tenshi tribe has access to a Fueng Huang and a white tiger summoning contract. But this is not all. As they are born as twins, they each belong to one of the other. So one twin holds a Fueng Huang contract, and the other holds white tigers. This also denotes their specialty technique, what attribute they will recieve.

~Summary~
Here's the more simplistic version of the bloodline.

Tenshi clan members are born as twins. Their specialties are the same, one requiring Weaponry for the clan. The twins have one element each, bringing the combination to two elements maximum. Their chakra is shared, so no extra boost. Each twin holds a different contract : one a fueng huang, the other a white tiger, defining their special technique. They have one special item that turns into one weapon. It's the same thing their whole lives. <3

Secret Clan Jutsu:

Name: Tenrai [Heaven Sent]
Rank: D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: -
Description: This the major clan technique. Usable at different ranks, it works with the user's identity of Suzaku or Byakko. Now if of the Suzaku line, the user will obtain wings of their single element. They are able to fly from 10m[Genin] to a maximum of 40m[S-rank]. This allows them flexibility in battle, and tend to be make them more assault type of attackers. However, those of the Byakko line will obtain tiger claws, ears, and tails. This grants them a further 10% sense augmentation, and the claws are sharp. They get a speed boost of 20% as well, allowing them to be evasive and quick, making them great flanking fighters. This jutsu lasts for 3 posts[Genin] to a maximum of 9[S-rank]

History:

Life holds promises. Creations from the greatest degree, balance was needed. So the light and the darkness were created. From perfect balance, came two sides. These sides were never to shift the balance, as for every light, the sense of good, there would be dark, the sense of evil. That was the choice that each had to make. But the balance could be broken, as there were agents of pure good, and agents of pure evil. A weaponry clan, that remains nameless, soon found itself divided between two such agents. Such formed the Akuma and the Tenshi clan. Where as the Akuma clan found themselves with the demonic presence, the Tenshi had found themselves with the angelic one. And thus began generations, upon generations of breeding.

This caused the blood of the angel to thin to nothingness, but merge in the mortal's bloodline. Therefore creating the Tenshi clan. However, they were still so similar to the Akuma clan, and found themselves mortal enemies : one oriented to the side of the light, the other linked to the darkness. And thus, they would seem to wrought destruction, until the four guardians decided to save their land. Suzaku, the great Fueng Huang of the South, and Byakko, the great White Tiger of the West, came to those pure of heart, and offered their protection to them. And thus, the remaining members of the Tenshi clan decided to accept this offer, and in turn nearly vanquished the Akuma clan. However, they made the same deal with the North and the East, bringing the two clans at a standstill once more.

Feeling that there would be nothing for them more to do here, they decided to turn to solitude and isolation. However, in the last twenty years, they have come out of this seclusion, to find themselves to Sunagakure no Sato. Taken in from the hot desert, they have pledged themselves to this strange village, and now the world of the shinobi, where they discovered their strange powers bore names : things like ''jutsu'' and ''chakra''. This made them realize that there were others like them, yes, but that they had to prove themselves.

Clan Details: Permission Needed. <3 Mileage may vary. For Jutsu, feel free to create some as you choose : the summon contracts are open for you to play around in. However, I ask that a pm is sent to PerfectFallacy, in order for me to see if it fits with the clan. Don't be afraid to PM me if anything is unclear.

Posts : 2032

This clan does not make sense at all... I don't really know where to begin with this..? o.o

This seems something more appropriate for a fantasy RPG forum or something similar. There is nothing based around the common energy sources (chakra) or common myth/history around the narutoverse. You seem to be trying to bring a foreign idea into a naruto setting and it doesn't really work..

Posts : 55

What specifically doesn't make sense? I could clear up any confusion you may have ^^

You are right that it is somewhat of a foreign concept, but that's only a single part of the clan. The rest is purely based off ideas I've been throwing around, mostly. So like I said, if you could throw something at me at exactly what's confusing you, I have no problem tinkering and changing things to make it less so. ^^

Posts : 2032

Quote :: Always born as twins. Each twin as a mark denoting them as children of Suzaku or of Byakko, thus providing them with either a wing shaped mark, or a claw shaped mark. They also hold a rivalry with their related clan, Akuma.

You need to explain what Byakko and Suzaku actually are? also you need to describe what the Akuma clan is and how you are related. I couldn't find this in your history as it seemed to me as more of an Rp sample. xD

Quote :: ~Bukiamatsu~
Heavenly Weaponry.
This is the main method of skills of the clan : requiring a weaponry specialty, this allows the clan member to call upon weaponry that was forged in the heavens. Now, this weaponry glows with the colors of chakra and light, so blue and white. However, the method to obtain this weaponry is simple : either using a close resemblance of the weapon, or completely forming the weapon out of specialized clan items. Prayer beads could potentially become a whip, or a flurry of shuriken. Now, the weaponry aspect isn't limited however, each twin posses a single, favorite weapon. And that denotes their fighting style, which works into the twin factor. This will be clarified once more, at the bottom of the bloodline.

Perhaps try and look at these links here and here. Saying that it was "forged from the heavens" means nothing and is redundant. You need to explain exactly how this actually works. Perhaps you could make it that it is kind of a Shaman King thing (if you have seen it). By releasing chakra into an item e.g prayer beads or necklace or even a sword, you can morph/tranform it into a more celestial type of weapon because of your chakra's connection with this item. Perhaps your chakra could be stored within the item itself and you two need to co-inside together to use it? Prayer beads turning into multiple common weapons like kunai, shuriken etc doesn't make sense. This I think would be more appropriate. I kind of manifested form of your weapon similar to Chojiro's off the manga. A single item that is only unique to them and they can only use/have. Understand what I mean?

Quote :: ~Tennyo~
Heavenly Maiden.
This has to do with the twin aspect of the bloodline. As most people are quite afraid of character abuse with the fact of two characters, the bloodline itself limits this. As twins, they each obtain a specialty weapon : one close range, one long range. However, they must share specialties, and contain relatively the same chakra pool. This is accomplished by a clan item, the Kami. Each twin's chakra is sealed into the Kami, and then it's broken in half, each piece then broken further to be fashioned into jewelry to be worn. The Kami links their chakra system to itself, and become their combined chakra system. So therefore, if the Kami runs out of chakra, so do the twins. This limits quite a few of the more potentially dangerous things. Also, because of this, each twin only holds a single element.

The fact that you are physically twins means that you can not RP as two people, but two people seem crucial in this idea? You said it is like two personalities on the CB but here it looks like two actually living forms, normal twins. This needs to be edited if you want it passed as we do not allow multiple character role-plays on the same application. Also you need to explain what Kami actually is? and this jewellery stuff etc is a bit farfetched. I would focus on the idea above of what I told. I don't mind the long-range - close range thing it just needs to be worked.

Quote :: ~Tenpuku~
Heavenly blessing.
This is what differs the Tenshi and Akuma clans apart. Those from the Tenshi clan are granted a special skill. This skill is unique to the Tenshi clan itself : the ability to summon two powerful things. Suzaku, the Guardian of the South and Byakko, Guardian of the West. Both represent holy elements to the world, and thus the Tenshi tribe has access to a Fueng Huang and a white tiger summoning contract. But this is not all. As they are born as twins, they each belong to one of the other. So one twin holds a Fueng Huang contract, and the other holds white tigers. This also denotes their specialty technique, what attribute they will recieve.

There is no need for this Guardian of the south blah blah stuff. There is no such thing on U.S regarding our plot. If you want a summoning contract with an animal within your clan then just say so...If you want to summon white tigers and have the exclusive contract just say.

Posts : 55

Todd wrote:

Quote :: Always born as twins. Each twin as a mark denoting them as children of Suzaku or of Byakko, thus providing them with either a wing shaped mark, or a claw shaped mark. They also hold a rivalry with their related clan, Akuma.

You need to explain what Byakko and Suzaku actually are? also you need to describe what the Akuma clan is and how you are related. I couldn't find this in your history as it seemed to me as more of an Rp sample. xD
*That's further explained in the bloodline section of itself. Akuma's clan relations are basically sister clan to the Tenshi. Descended from the same place. Added more on Suzaku and Byakko in the history.*

Quote :: ~Bukiamatsu~
Heavenly Weaponry.
This is the main method of skills of the clan : requiring a weaponry specialty, this allows the clan member to call upon weaponry that was forged in the heavens. Now, this weaponry glows with the colors of chakra and light, so blue and white. However, the method to obtain this weaponry is simple : either using a close resemblance of the weapon, or completely forming the weapon out of specialized clan items. Prayer beads could potentially become a whip, or a flurry of shuriken. Now, the weaponry aspect isn't limited however, each twin posses a single, favorite weapon. And that denotes their fighting style, which works into the twin factor. This will be clarified once more, at the bottom of the bloodline.

Perhaps try and look at these links here and here. Saying that it was "forged from the heavens" means nothing and is redundant. You need to explain exactly how this actually works. Perhaps you could make it that it is kind of a Shaman King thing (if you have seen it). By releasing chakra into an item e.g prayer beads or necklace or even a sword, you can morph/tranform it into a more celestial type of weapon because of your chakra's connection with this item. Perhaps your chakra could be stored within the item itself and you two need to co-inside together to use it? Prayer beads turning into multiple common weapons like kunai, shuriken etc doesn't make sense. This I think would be more appropriate. I kind of manifested form of your weapon similar to Chojiro's off the manga. A single item that is only unique to them and they can only use/have. Understand what I mean?
*Changed this area to something rather more simple and blunt.*

Quote :: ~Tennyo~
Heavenly Maiden.
This has to do with the twin aspect of the bloodline. As most people are quite afraid of character abuse with the fact of two characters, the bloodline itself limits this. As twins, they each obtain a specialty weapon : one close range, one long range. However, they must share specialties, and contain relatively the same chakra pool. This is accomplished by a clan gem, the Kami. Each twin's chakra is sealed into the Kami, and then it's broken in half, each piece then broken further to be fashioned into jewelry to be worn. The Kami links their chakra system to itself, and become their combined chakra system. So therefore, if the Kami runs out of chakra, so do the twins. This limits quite a few of the more potentially dangerous things. Also, because of this, each twin only holds a single element.

The fact that you are physically twins means that you can not RP as two people, but two people seem crucial in this idea? You said it is like two personalities on the CB but here it looks like two actually living forms, normal twins. This needs to be edited if you want it passed as we do not allow multiple character role-plays on the same application. Also you need to explain what Kami actually is? and this jewellery stuff etc is a bit farfetched. I would focus on the idea above of what I told. I don't mind the long-range - close range thing it just needs to be worked.
*Not budging on this though. They're meant to be twins, but they have limitations. Two physical bodies, yes, but same chakra system due to the Kami. Same specialties, one element each. I believe the limits outweight the potential for godmod of the twins. Added the bolded part. That should explain the whole jewelry thing.*

Quote :: ~Tenpuku~
Heavenly blessing.
This is what differs the Tenshi and Akuma clans apart. Those from the Tenshi clan are granted a special skill. This skill is unique to the Tenshi clan itself : the ability to summon two powerful things. Suzaku, the Guardian of the South and Byakko, Guardian of the West. Both represent holy elements to the world, and thus the Tenshi tribe has access to a Fueng Huang and a white tiger summoning contract. But this is not all. As they are born as twins, they each belong to one of the other. So one twin holds a Fueng Huang contract, and the other holds white tigers. This also denotes their specialty technique, what attribute they will recieve.

There is no need for this Guardian of the south blah blah stuff. There is no such thing on U.S regarding our plot. If you want a summoning contract with an animal within your clan then just say so...If you want to summon white tigers and have the exclusive contract just say.
*Basic Japanese/Chinese beliefs. Suzaku is the guardian of the South of Japan/China. Same with Byakko, but with the West instead. I'm using basic Japanese/Chinese that should be present in Naruto, considering the placement and era.*

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