Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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One Boar, One Meat

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Rust
Rust

Age : 29
Posts : 463

One Boar, One Meat Vide
PostSubject: One Boar, One Meat One Boar, One Meat EmptyMon 20 Dec 2010, 12:02 pm

Character Name: Hyuuga, Risek
Rank: Genin
Village: Kirigakure
Mission Bulletin: Mission
Mission Link: Mission Topic
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Aaron
Aaron

Age : 28
Posts : 2538

One Boar, One Meat Vide
PostSubject: Re: One Boar, One Meat One Boar, One Meat EmptyMon 20 Dec 2010, 6:47 pm

Official Grading: 1/5 + 1/5
Unofficial Grading: 5/20
Comments: I hope I'm not being harsh and I don't want this to dampen your spirits about doing missions, but take this as constructive critisism. I'm rather disappointed in this mission. Your posts were quite short, the ending of the mission was abrupt and your summoning was rather confusing. That said, let's move on to the positives. Smile You made some good descriptions and set the scenes of you mission well, so I could imagine it well in my head, which is a good thing when it comes to roleplaying. Also, your mission wasn't boring, it was just short. In order to improve, I suggest you make your posts longer, put them through a spell checker because I did notice a few moderate grammar mistakes and try to add more description about what your character thinks and feels. I look forward to reading your next mission, Drew. Keep up the activity. Smile

2 Mission Points Awarded.
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