Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin]

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Big Sean
Kumo Nin
Big Sean

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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyTue 07 Jun 2011, 1:14 am

Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Human_Shadow

Harinezumi, Kumori

THE INFO.

Name: Kumori Harinezumi
Nickname: Shadow
Age: 13
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Starting from Kumori's hair, the length of it down to his neck. Kumori's natural hair color is black, seemingly the traditional hair color of the Uchiha clan. However, Kumori had dyed the tips of his hair when he was a young child and has stuck with the hair style since to the point where it is almost as natural to him as the black color. He also keeps his hair in a spiked fashion around the back end, also another tradition of the Uchiha; the length of it being right above his shoulders. Kumori’s eyes hold an unusually deep dark hue of in them with a slightly red tint, even without his Sharingan activated. Though, to this day, his parents are not able to properly explain this, Kumori plays it off as a simple compliment to his natural lifestyle. With a height of 5'4 and a weight of 128lb, Kumori is a fairly lean individual with a somewhat muscular body and a slightly tanned skin tone. It has been stated many times that Kumori has what is called a "pretty boy face", one that seems delicate yet still firm in a way. This, combine with his "bad boy" attitude, makes him seem fairly attractive to many members of the opposite sex, usually at a similar age to him.

Though the term "keeping it stylish" has never once come across Kumori's mind, he can't help but be at least somewhat conscious about his appearance. However, at the same time, he prefers to sport outfits that are rather comfortable to wear, whether for casual, formal, or combat purposes. For this reason, Kumori has undergone several wardrobe changes throughout his days in the ninja academy, only keeping several accessories and styles consistently. This accessories include fingerless fighting gloves, a spiked kneecap held on his left knee, a coat or jacket, and a rectangular pendant given to him after being accepted into the academy. As for the style, all of the clothing he's worn since has consisted of either black, red or a combination of the two; the only exception being his pendant being silver and a grey belt he's had since he was seven years old. After graduating the ninja academy, Kumori has since changed his wardrobe yet again. Though he keeps his standard, red and black style, he has since removed any of his coats/jackets as well as the diamond pendant from his standard wardrobe. He now sports, a plain black long sleeve T-shirt under a short sleeved one with a grey inverted cross in the front, dark slacks, and has replaced his old pendant with a unique symbol designed by his brother as a representation of the "Harinezumi clan"..

Forehead Protector: When it comes to the placement of his Konoha forehead protector, Kumori doesn't wear it in the traditional area of the forehead. Instead, he would usually let it hang from his right back pocket, only choosing to wear it across his forehead during significant events, such as important mission or fights. The very simple reason for this is because, though he fully appreciates Konoha and represents it with pride, Kumori doesn't find the forehead protector to be comfortable at all so he doesn't wear it in that area on a regular basis.

Personality:
Despite the fact that Kumori has a mostly normal upbringing, with parents and a sibling that he keeps a bond with, Kumori seems to have a nature that most would simply describe as dark and pessimistic. As a compliment to this negative personality is the fact that Kumori rarely shows emotion at any given time, making it fairly difficult to read his expressions given certain situations. He also chooses not to speak very much, preferring to expressions through actions or only a few words instead of "making a big fuss about it". This makes it fairly difficult for him to make actual friends and, to be honest, he prefers it that way. The way Kumori sees it, he would rather keep those he doesn't know at a distance and work with himself because he believes that he will have the best results in his strengths if he didn't keep too many "meaningless" bonds to hold him back.

When it comes to his personality as a shinobi, Kumori is all business and is rarely casual in this regard. When working with an ally, he tends to avoid holding conversations with them or have any attempt at getting to know them, but will cooperate without question if this ally proof to be of actual use to the objective at hand. A self-imposed perfectionist by heart, Kumori settles for nothing but the absolute best when it comes to his training, meaning that when he learns something such as a technique, he will not settle for anything less than complete mastery before he stops training for it. Because of this, Kumori is looked at as a sort of prodigy among beginner gennin of the village.

Despite his social personality being mostly closed off, Kumori has a very deep relationship with his family and values them more than anything else in this world, even himself. He holds great respect for his parents; though not a shinobi, Kumori views his father's creative and well thought out way of life is what Kumori models his mental state after when training jutsu or thinking of strategies, accepting advice from him when it comes to jutsu ideas and plans. His mother, a powerful kunoichi with a sense of mastery and knowledge over her Uchiha heritage, is what he models his physical state after, continuously looking for advice from her when it comes to the life of a shinobi as an Uchiha. His older half brother, Hayaku Harinezumi, is also someone Kumori has a bond with. Though they have a near complete opposite personality and Kumori views him as a fool at times that he will surpass indefinitely, he admires his dedication and willingness to accept Ayako as a mother just as much as Kumori does, despite their bloodline difference.

Though he's willing to learn and accept his bloodline, Kumori is by no means loyal to the Uchiha clan. Seeing it as nothing more than a simple name that forces represent something other then him/herself, Kumori takes no unnecessary pride in calling himself one and isn't appreciative when he is called by that name. Partially due to this, he tends to keep the very fact that he is even related to the clan a secret, wanting people to very him as "Kumori Harinezumi" rather than "The Uchiha" or any other type of label relating to the clan.
Clan: Uchiha
Nindō: "My Loyalty is not to the Uchiha. I live my life based on my own decisions, not theirs."

THE NINJA.

Origin: Hi no Kuni
Affiliation: Konohagakure
Rank: Gennin
Specialties: Genjutsu - Ninjutsu
Elemental Affinities: Katon - Fuuton
Combat Style: Being a specialist in both Ninjutsu and Genjutsu, Kumori tends to spend the majority of his fights at a mid range distance in order to perform his jutsu to maximum efficiency. How he likes to work is by starting with simple fighting maneuvers in order to "feel his opponent out" and begin his battles with Ninjutsu in order to mainly distract a stronger opponent and then finish things off with Genjutsu. Though, if he were to feel that a different strategy would work, Kumori might flip the switch and try something differently.

As a traditional Katon specialist, Kumori revolves most of his offense into this elemental style, utilizing powerful blast to demolish his opponents or at least keep them at bay. The only downside to his elemental prowess being that he is mostly linear with it and doesn't have many evasive or defensive strategy to work with it. However, this is where his Fuuton comes into play; though he doesn't have nearly as strong a grasp into it offensively as Katon, he is able to control movement effectively, whether it's his opponent's or his own, to keep himself in a good position to defend himself utilizing it.

Though he normally doesn't like to use Genjutsu very often due to the possibly unnecessary complications it could bring to any situations, Kumori is quite skilled in that department and as such, is effective enough to be called his "Ace in the hole". Like most practitioners of this art, Kumori tends to play mind games with his opponent, confusing him with either makeshift puzzles, riddles or, if he has enough information, his opponent's own lifestyle as a stepping stone for enough if a distraction to utilize his Genjutsu without proper interruption. If his opponent is knowledgeable in Genjutsu, however, Kumori tends turn it into a constant gamble, mixing his Ninjutsu into the match by making them figure out whether his movements or attacks are illusions are not.

Though he does appreciate mid ranged battles a lot, this doesn't mean that Kumori is by any means afraid to get up close and personal. Even though he doesn't specialize in the physical arts, Kumori isn't a slouch in terms of Taijutsu. Having quite a bit of sufficient knowledge, training and experience in various forms of Martial Arts, Kumori is surprisingly quite effective in hand to hand combat. As a strong supporter of conserving energy, Kumori's main style of physical combat is utilizing his natural quickness to slowly exhaustion his opponent, moving in for quick strikes here and there without wasting energy going for big, game ending strikes unless the opponent is wide open.


Special Characteristics:
Spoiler:


THE BACKGROUND.

History:
Spoiler:

Roleplay Sample:
Spoiler:

THE ARSENAL.

Jutsu
Quote :

Academy
Name: Kage Shuriken no Jutsu - Shadow Shuriken Technique
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu/Weaponry
Range: Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10m+)
Element:-
Description: Kage Shuriken no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing a giant Fuuma Shuriken. When throwing the shuriken, the ninja will Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique
Rank: E
Type: Genjutsu
Range: N/A
Medium: Optical
Element: N/A
Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others.
Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones

Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures.
Chakra Cost: 1

Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: 10 meters
Element: N/A
Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread.
Chakra Cost: 2

Name: Explosive Tag: Activate
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand.
Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)

Name: Kai • Release
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu.
Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP

Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill
Rank: E
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor.
Chakra Cost: 1

Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique
Rank: E
Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed.
Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.

Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: NA
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)

Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing
Rank: D
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Element: N/A
Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall.
Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)also throw a second giant shuriken to hide in the shadow of the first. The hidden secondary shuriken can then approach the target without their being aware.
Chakra Cost: 3


Ninjutsu
Katon

Name: Endan - Fireball
Rank: D-A
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m – 10m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: Katon • Endan is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. After doing the necessary hand seals, the ninja draws chakra to their lungs before swiftly exhaling it, allowing them to blow a jet of fire from their mouth. Depending on the rank at which it is performed, Endan ranges in size and heat. Starting at a moderate level of heat and a reach of up to 3m, at D rank, and increasing in temperature to an intense heat and up to a 10m reach, when performed at A rank.
Chakra Cost: D: 4 (1 per post), C: 5 (2 per post), B: 12 (3 per post), A: 23 (5 per post)


Name: Goukakyuu no Jutsu - Great Fireball Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: Katon • Goukakyuu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals, draws chakra from their mouth into their chest and them immediately exhales it. They then blow a stream of fire which erupts into a large sphere of flames. To better manage the flames the ninja will bring their hand to their mouth to control it.
Chakra Cost: 5

Name: Ryuuka no Jutsu - Dragon Fire Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: The user breathes fire along a cord or any other type of long object, which rushes forward in straight line catching the enemy on fire. The flames are meant to target, and assault the enemy's upper body just like a projectile weapon.
Chakra Cost: 5


Name: Housenka no Jutsu - Mythical Fire Phoenix Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: Katon • Housenka no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals and then emits a series of small fire balls. The ninja can also hurl a projectile which is covered in these same flames. To the opponent the attack appears to be only the balls of flame, they do not see the hidden threat within the flames. Meaning that even if the flames are put out, the projectiles still converge on the target. The flames can be used to cover different projectiles like shuriken or kunai.
Chakra Cost: 5

Name: Kasumi Enbu no Jutsu - Mist Waltz Technique
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Katon (Fire)
Description: After performing the necessary hand seals, the user is able to create and blow a flammable gas from their lungs. Once it comes in contact with fire or sparks, the gas ignites into a large fireball.
Chakra Cost: 8



Fuuton
Name: Fuyashi Chisoku (Enhanced Speed)
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Supplementary
Rank: C-S
Element: Fuuton
Description: After performing the necessary hand sign, the user can enhance their speed by the given amount dependanton the chakra put into it in battle by decreasing air resistance around them and even sprint across or run up vertical surfaces by generating a wind current behind themselves to propel them along. After one post, jutsu will need a recharge of the same amount of chakra or it will cancel out.


  • C: 10% faster
  • B: 20% faster
  • A: 30% faster
  • S: 50% faster

Chakra Cost:
Rank Chakra Cost Cost per Post
C 5 2
B 10 4
A 20 5
S 35 10


Name: Daitoppa - Great Breakthrough
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Fuuton (Wind)
Description: This is a relatively simple technique that creates a sudden gust of wind, but its scale varies greatly depending on the user. If used by a superior shinobi, it has enough destructive power to knock down a large tree. The wind from the squall can blow away all things in the user's line of sight. A variation of the technique involves a smaller blast of wind which gets ignited with flame.
Chakra Cost: 9

Name: Reppushou - Gale Wind Palm
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
Element: Fuuton (Wind)
Description: Fuuton • Reppushou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Wind Element. After forming the needed hand seals, the user will send a strong gust of wind towards his/her target. When acting in conjunction with another thrown weapon, the wind can increase its power and deadliness.
Chakra Cost: 5

Name: Kamaitachi - Cutting Whirlwind
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m)
Element: Fuuton (Wind)
Description: This technique requires a fan or wind-inducing weapon. By freely manipulating the gale brought forth by her or his fan/wind-inducing weapon, the many air currents collide and create vacuums pockets. The person enveloped by this gale is assaulted by countless invisible blades, carving up their body. Also, the strong wind power will blow away all incoming projectile weapons and will even make the opponent unable to stay on their feet.
Chakra Cost: 8


Genjutsu
Name: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu - Demonic Illusion • Hell Viewing Technique
Rank: D
Type: Genjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: N/A
Description: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that causes its target to see a horrifying vision. The ninja will use the serpent hand seal to cause a circle of leaves to spin and envelop the target and then fall away. Once cast the world will appear normal to the target until they see the illusion.
Chakra Cost: 3 (Chakra Cost Per Post: 1)


Name: Kokohi no Jutsu - False Place Technique
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
Element: N/A
Description: Kokohi no Jutsu is a simple Genjutsu technique which changes the appearance of a nearby object.
Chakra Cost: 6 (Chakra Cost Per Post: 2)


Name: Double False Placement
Type: Genjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
Rank: C
Element: N/A
Description: This jutsu places another illusion on top of a previous illusion created by the user. If and when the target dispels the first illusion, they will not realize that a second is in place.
Chakra Cost: 8 (Chakra Cost Per Post: 2)


Name: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu - Sly Mind Affect Technique
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Range: Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+)
Element: N/A
Description: Kori Shinchuu no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique which causes the target to travel around in circles. If the ninja is unable to detect the illusion very quickly, they can become exhausted mentally and physically when they are unable to reach their desired target by traveling along the same path over and over.
Chakra Cost: 7 (Chakra Cost Per Post: 2)


Quote :
Name: Genin Kit
Rank: C
Quantity: 1
Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
Quote :
Name: Fuuma Shuriken
Rank: B
Type: Main - Secondary/Long Range
Quantity: 2
Description: Named after the famous clan, the Fuuma Shuriken is a large, four-bladed shuriken possessing pre-eminent sharpness and lethality. Its four blades can be collapsed for easy storage, leading to its nickname, the 'Shadow Windmill'. In its folded state, all four arms of the shuriken are folded together. When fully unfolded, the large shuriken can be thrown through the air causing great damage.
Quote :
Name: Shadow Shuriken
Rank: D
Type: Ranged
Appearance: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] ShadowShuriken
The Shadow Shuriken are two or three Fūma Shuriken that are tied together via nin wire to give off the appearance of only one Shuriken. The Nin wire is set to break when the Windmill Shuriken are unfolded and are made for an easier way to pull off the Shadow Shuriken Technique without detection.
Quantity: 1 (2-3 Fūma Shuriken)
Storage: Strapped to Back via separate wire
Special Abilities: N/A

Character Claim: Human Shadow
Source: Custom
Image URL: https://2img.net/h/i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn286/sasukehardy/Human_Shadow.jpg


Last edited by Sean on Thu 31 Jan 2013, 1:29 am; edited 9 times in total
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Vegapunk
Vegapunk

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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyTue 07 Jun 2011, 3:14 pm

1/2
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Elder Sage
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyTue 07 Jun 2011, 3:36 pm

2/2 Approved.
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Cookie Monster
Swaglord
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyMon 09 Jan 2012, 3:53 am


Archived.

Due to inactivity.
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Adam
The Boss
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyMon 28 Jan 2013, 12:57 am

Unarchived due to user interest.
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Big Sean
Kumo Nin
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyMon 28 Jan 2013, 5:13 am

Changes made: Rewrote History - Personality - Appearance - Fighting style
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Emperor of Rock
Konoha Nin
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyMon 28 Jan 2013, 5:27 pm

Quote :
having nearly if not complete mastery over everything he's learned as a shinobi

This is a bit nitpicky but, you cannot have mastery over something as a genin. You just became a ninja and therefore you cannot be a master of even basic clone jutsu. Remove any mention of mastering anything.

Quote :
Even though he doesn't specialize in the physical arts, Kumori isn't a slouch in terms of Taijutsu & Weaponry. Having quite a bit of sufficient knowledge, training and experience in various forms of Martial Arts, Kumori is surprisingly quite effective in hand to hand/blade to blade combat.

Nope. You're as good in taijutsu and weaponry as every other genin that doesn't have either of those as specialities. Not effective at all.

Origin is from which country you are from. I'm your case it's Hi no Kuni.

You have 13 jutsus, you can start with 15. Also, you don't have the sharingan jutsu in here. I would suggest adding it from the clan's topic.

You can also add the Ninja Kit from the Encyclopedia.
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Big Sean
Kumo Nin
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 1:44 am

Everything is understandable except the Taijutsu section because it states in the clan topic
Elite Clan wrote:
All clan members are proficient in nearly all forms of the ninja art, which include ninjutsu, genjutsu and taijutsu(This does not mean Uchiha characters can have three specialties however). They are seemingly naturals in nearly everything they do which makes them idolized in their respected villages.
so if my character (Or any Uchiha for that matter) was at the same level as everyone else who doesn't have the specialty at their rank, wouldn't that would make this characteristic completely redundant and unnecessary? (The weaponry part, I can remove with no problem though)
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Emperor of Rock
Konoha Nin
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 2:17 pm

Alright, after talking with other mods they told me that it's is ok, even though it looked iffy to me. So that is approved. However, you still don't have the Sharingan Jutsu in here, unless you don't want to start with your Sharingan activated, which you can if you want, I suggest adding it.

Also, you can start with only one SC
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Big Sean
Kumo Nin
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PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyTue 29 Jan 2013, 8:27 pm

I forgot to mention that I wont be starting with Sharingan

The SC has been removed (leftover from my old application)
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lifeanddeath
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyWed 30 Jan 2013, 2:05 pm

Just a quick run through by request to speed things along:

  • I need just about half a paragraph more of appearance, just to make the section two good solid paragraphs.

  • You are missing the forehead protector section of the template.

  • Just two to three more lines of combat style if you can would be good, if nothing comes to mind describing his weaknesses or less notable skill areas is good.

  • Can you separate the Academy Jutsu from the rest of your Jutsu list via spoiler or general list? Additionally I do believe you are missing the storage technique which is another of the listed Academy techniques.

  • Endan - Fireball has been update in the encyclopedia, please update this technique.

  • Given the soon to be changes in weaponry rank the weapon is fine. Although you should update the description with some information about from the Fuuma Shuriken in the long range encyclopedia just for clarity. And that should be everything. Good Day.




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Big Sean
Kumo Nin
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 1:28 am

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lifeanddeath
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 1:44 am

Looks good to me
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Kite
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 3:11 am

Looks fine

Approved
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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] EmptySun 14 Apr 2013, 4:31 pm


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Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Harinezumi [Uchiha], Kumori [Konoha Genin] Empty

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