Shinsei Clan [WIP]

Posts : 194

Clan Name:Shinsei

Location:Kumo

Signature Traits:Shinsei Clan members have snow white hair. The clan symbol is a tattoo on the left eye. A star on the top, a line after the star, going over the eyes, then a zig-zag on the bottom. This symbolizes "Nova" which is named after the first clan member. The members have a bloodthirsty personality.

Kekkei Genkai:The Shinsei clan has a Kekkei Genkai that makes the Shinsei unique. The ability features an element called 死盾(Shiton). A Shinsei member increases the power by killing other people. This element can only be used when the KG is activated. When activated, the chakra pool increases and allows then user to use Shiton. One downside is that, during activation, all other elements are rendered useless, therefore decreasing the amount of usable jutsus.

History:The Shinsei clan was only originated a few centuries ago in Kumo. The eldest was a kid that was found in the mountains during a night when a nova shines, that is why the person who discovered the young child named him Shinsei. About the age of 16, the eldest learned of his Kekkei Genkai and named it the Nova, because of his name and the first jutsu he performed, Death Star Canon.

One century later, three families of the clan were killed by a Nukenin. Each family had a shinobi that has encountered the Nukenin. That is why, since that event, none of the Shinsei clan dared to be a shinobi. Women became merchants and men became Smiths.

Two centuries later, the clan was dying, with two families remaining. They were poor and didn't stand much of a chance. One family moved to Konoha, seeking a better life. Fortunately, the clan lived on, although still poor. They only had one choice, send their children to become shinobi, or die of starvation. That's what they did, and both families started to gain money, becoming more and more wealthy.

Clan Jutsu:

Name:Shiton: Death Shields
Rank:C
Type:Ninjutsu
Range:Mid Range.
Element:Shiton
Description:This is a jutsu performed by a Shinsei Clan member. Death Chakra is released from the back of the forearms, but maintained there. The shape looks like a butterfly-like object. The shield can be discharged, by either absorbing it back into the body, or releasing it making a blast that shoots forward for about 10 meters. This can be used as shields, blades, and a one shot gun.

Images:

Chakra Cost:10CP for each arm (can be restored if absorbed)

Name:Shiton: Death Blade
Rank:C
Type:Ninjutsu
Range:Short Range
Element:Shiton
Description:This is a jutsu performed by a Shinsei Clan member. Death Chakra is released from the back of the hands, but maintained there. It has the shape of a Kantana, but with glowing wavy sides.

Image:

Chakra Cost:10 CP for each blade

Name:Shiton: Death Star Canon
Rank:B
Type:Ninjutsu
Range:Long Range
Element:Shiton
Description:This is a jutsu performed by a Shinsei Clan member. Death Chakra is released from the back of the body, then formed into a star shape. The star will rotate at high speed and a beam of chakra will be released every time a point rotates to the top. The beam of chakra will shoot up into the sky, and drop down aiming at the target. The chakra used to generate the star can be absorbed again. The downside of the move is that you can not move during the jutsu and 30 seconds after the jutsu.

Image:

Chakra Cost:20CP for generating the star (can be restored) and 2CP for each beam.

Age : 31 Posts : 1118

1/2 Approved.

Posts : 2032

- There is no need for this to be a doujutsu or perhaps even a Kekkei Genkai. There should be more than a single purpose (that only leads to a single jutsu) as an outcome of your KG. So the gist of this is that it lets you release waves of chakra from your eye that works similar to sonar and bounce information back to the user? That shouldn't be a doujutsu. You could have a ninjutsu technique that allows the release of chakra waves from the user or a Kekkei Genkai that centers around releasing chakra waves (and this is one of the unique features of it).

Posts : 194

Todd wrote:: - Kekkei Genkai that centers around releasing chakra waves (and this is one of the unique features of it).

I don't really get what you are saying here....

Posts : 2032

Well to have this 'sonar' ability you would need ototon (sound) but seeing as this isn't a sound release clan you are doing this through chakra waves correct? Well, what I am saying is instead of a doujutsu you could have a more general chakra wave ability were you release chakra waves that have a number of different effects e.g. chakra sonar just being one of the abilities that a clan member can do. If not, this idea isn't permitted.

Posts : 194

Completion Bump.

Changed the Kekkei Genkai. Still using chakra waves.

Posts : 2032

Your kekkei genkai doesn't actual explain how any of this can happen or comes about, it merely just states what your kekkei does. I suggest you look up chakra from Leaf Ninja or even Narutowikia and grasp a better understanding of it first of all such as how it operates. Instead of using words like 'invisible' try 'intangible' etc. What is the foundation behind these chakra waves? in what nature to do they operate? sonar and chakra are two different things and your kekkei genkai implies that pure chakra allows you to do that. I suggest you either work on this idea and gather more information, do some research and develop the concept or I would suggest choosing one of the canon or custom clans on US already. If you need any help, holla.

Posts : 194

completion bump

Posts : 2032

- Take WIP out of the title if its complete.

- If its a different chakra type that clan members possess then that is a special trait of the clan not necessarily their KKG. So please edit that into the special traits section. Though, this special chakra would most likely lead onto a KKG so then that would be explained there.

- You never actually express what "Death Chakra" is? Shiton would imply that it is an advanced release of basic elements and I do not see this being so. There needs to be an actual description of what it does.

- Your history should be better at least 2 paragraphs please and a more detailed storyline.

Posts : 194

Completion Bump.

Posts : 2032

Quote :: - If its a different chakra type that clan members possess then that is a special trait of the clan not necessarily their KKG. So please edit that into the special traits section. Though, this special chakra would most likely lead onto a KKG so then that would be explained there.

- You never actually express what "Death Chakra" is? Shiton would imply that it is an advanced release of basic elements and I do not see this being so. There needs to be an actual description of what it does.

I am going to quote this again because it hasn't been addressed. You just said that Shiton allows members to have a larger chakra pool? that wont cut it especially if it is being claimed as an advanced element (shiton).

Age : 31 Posts : 8965

Archived.