I have Lost, the will to Fly. --[P]--

Age : 31 Posts : 299

Its Killing me, and taking Control.

Like a twisted melody with a bass line that almost makes you sick to your stomach, Faith sat eerily calm at the waters edge. It was almost as if she was on the verge of exploding right then and there. Though her face remained absolutely calm. It was almost like she was vibrating. She let off a glow, as she sat in the one spot on the rock that the sun hit, most of the area was covered in shade from the tall trees that surrounded the deep pool near the waterfall. It was one of those spots that Faith went to, to think most times, sometimes to vent and shout because the echoes off the walls made her voice three times as loud and intimidating. Though here, she felt small. The area was large, and was mostly clear around the waterfall, so that she would see anyone who dared try to disturb her relaxing place.

It was a quiet area, besides the gentle splash of the water hitting its pool, the land was cool and fertile, the grass and trees all made for a very calm atmosphere, especially since the wind was not blowing today. She had a view, to say the least. She leaned back, both hands on the rock that she sat on, and tipped her head up, letting the warm sun gently caress her face. In her right hand she held a small stone. Probably about the size of a 50 cent piece, the stone was smooth and clean. After a minute or so, she squeezed it hard and sat up straight. Her hand clenched the stone with a fury. Her left hand twitched a little from the strength she was putting into it. She was determined to crush that stone in her hand. She was not all that strong however, and the stone refused to crack, no matter how hard she squeezed and squeezed.

She stood up, her feet planted at a firm position at shoulder's length apart. Squeezing the stone so hard. She let out a gasp, forgetting to breathe for a moment and loosened her grip. She rose her arm and threw it, probably as hard as she could at the cove opposite her. It broke into several pieces. She let out a small smile at this, somewhat satisfied. The memories struck back then, and the same hardened-cool look returned to her face. Her arms hung limp at her sides, sweat beaded on her forehead simply from squeezing the rock. Her right index finger twitched in adrenaline, it still pumping through her veins somewhat strong. Her eyes had this somewhat crazed look upon her. She was numb to the world, lost in her sick memories and remembrances.

Age : 29 Posts : 796

Off in the distance she heard water gently pounding onto some rocks below. Her ears twitched slightly, picking up on this rather interesting sound. It had been awhile since she happened upon a water source different from a lake or pond and so decided to make her way to it. Carefully she wallked, her feet gently brushing against the mossy like ground under her. She made sure to be quiet, although her appearance made her stick out like a sore thumb. It would easy to spot her pink hair from a mile away and perhaps farther than that. Pink for some reason, showed up well against the greens of a forest. Briefly she scowled, slightly mad at her hair color. She had good reason to be mad, sticking out in a crowd made her a noticeable person. And noticeable was not the best to be if you were what she was.

The water was becoming louder to her sensitive ears, and she felt that she was close. As always with water, she felt it call out to her, waiting to be embraced. It had such a clean smell, refreshing her nose that had become accustomed to the forestry smells. She was used to the smell of wild flowers, scents of oak and pine, and random fruits she happened to come across. She spent so much time in the woods, that scent was even on her. Slight shuffling was hears behin her and she cast a quick glance. It was Aisu, her wonderful wolf, following her. She paused briefly allowing him to slowly make his way to her. Now with her companion beside her, they began walking slightly faster heading to the light at the end of the forest.

The light consumed them as the stepped out of the dark trees, momentarily stinging her eyes. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision up and even rubbed them with the palm of her hand. Tha seemed to do the trick as the secenry opened up before her. It was breath taking, and really serene. The light hit the water in just the right way, reflecting off of it causing the near area to glow. A quick smile flickered over her features as her eyes slid over the landscape. Her body was actually very relaxed into she heard a loud noise. She glanced to the source of it and saw another female was there. It seemed lately she was running into more females than males. Of course she was not complaining, she found female company more pleasant, it was what she wanted. Even more than male company.

Her mind quickly jumped at the sight, not knowing how to approach. She could walk over there and introduce herself. But then that might provoke her to attack, which was something she did not want. The only other thing was to call out from where she stood, a safe distance between them. The second idea appealed to her more and so she chose to do just that. Aisu decided to sit right beside her as she stood, watching the female intently, ready to proctect Rysa should anything happen to her. Breathing in deeply, she spoke up slightly, not necessarily yelling, but just enough to be heard. "H-Hello...?"

Age : 31 Posts : 299

I Wish that i could just Restart

The voice echoed off of every surface. Faith froze. "H-hello?" Her eyes remained in that crazed, wild-eyed, glare that was somewhat disturbing as she snapped to her left in one knee-jerking movement. Her eyes fixated on the girl. She was quite obvious in the area around them, however Faith could not say much else. Her fiery red hair and colorful clothing did just as well a job at camouflaging her. Her eyes adjusted to the changing light as she examined the girl over. Her eyes softening slightly. It was just a girl. To the girls right, was a wolf however. Knives slipped into each of Faith's hands instinctively. Making no effort to hide the fact that she was completely capable of defending herself. The girl was young however. The wolf was probably a guardian, and her grip relaxed and the knives slowly returned up her sleeves. Her eyes penetrated the girl. Looking right through her, like a mother to her daughter. She relaxed her gaze, and looked away, somewhat embarrassed. She had a bad control over her emotions. It had been like this for a while, thats why she had to return to these small, secretive areas where she could hide and explode.

She glanced back at the girl. "Hi." she said, her voice sounded strained, a little raspy even, like she was forcing the word out of her lips. "I'm sorry. I'll leave." she said, her voice sounding normal now, as she reached down and grabbed her satchel, slinging it over her shoulder. The girl looked like she needed some peace and quiet in her life, she looked beaten, lost even. Maybe longing, Faith had not the answer she didn't know the girl. She looked lost, and not of Konoha, so it would most likely be best for her sake to avoid the girl. Especially while her mind was in this state of pure hatred. Her fingers were still twitching randomly from adrenaline pumping through her blood stream. She inhaled deeply before taking a few steps off the rock, the shade from the trees hitting her like a blanket of cool air. She didn't look back, she said nothing more.

Age : 29 Posts : 796

What beautiful red hair the female had. Striking, just as her own, it stuck out. She was observing her, drinking in the sight of the female. She appeared much older than her, but perhaps not by much. Her eyes watched her, and widened when she saw the quick flash of metal. her heart raced for a slight second, thinking she was going to attack. Apparently though, the woman decided against it and the knives disappeared again. She even looked away as of embarrassed or something. She found it quite odd for a grown lady to show feelings like that. Her head tiptoed slightly in silent curiosity.

Then she spoke. It was a strained sort of sound, rough and harsh. Automatically she focused fully on the woman, studying her body language. Her own eyes mellowed out a bit at her words. No..she did not want her to go. This other female seemed interesting..different. She was curious about her, wanted to know more of this person. At least she wanted to know what was wrong. Something obviously was as she had noticed the lady's fingers twitched rather violently. Her feet carried her toward the woman, not catching up, but enough to keep her in sight. There was on question she wanted to ask, so she did. "Is...something wrong..?" Closer she got, keeping her body loose and relaxed, trying to silently tell her that she was not going to attack or cause some sort of harm. It was honest curiosity even. Her caring nature was constantly there, hanging over her. No matter who it was, friend or foe, she always seemed quite carefree in the suitation.

Though she knew that the woman might not tell her. After all, she was just a small child compared to her. Who would confess their feelings or thoughts to a person years younger then them? She knew she might appear as a silly child, one with slight ignorance. She did not really care. Deep down she hoped that she would talk. But so far the lady had seemed rather distant to begin with. Sure it was common for complete strangers to act this way, it just seemed as if it were something even more. As if it was deeper than that. Still though, she waited in silence, not asking again and choosing to wait for an answer.

Age : 31 Posts : 299

Its Killing me, and taking Control.

Faith's movement halted at the sound of the girls voice again. "Is.. something wrong..?" The voice let out. Faith stood there for a moment, grasping the question. It was odd, for someone to catch her in this state. She knew not what she could do. It was obvious that something was wrong, you could tell just by the way she walked, the way she moved. She slung her hood over her head as she turned around and fell to her knees burying her face in her hands. She didn't understand it, something was wrong.. something was so wrong. It just sort of hit her like a freight train. Her life, everything that was wrong. She could get angry all she wanted, sometimes she cried, but always in solitude and safe. She was awash with feelings. Anger, pain, sorrow, regret, these were the things that fed her everyday. She couldn't believe this, there was supposed to be a Knight in shining armor to come save her, not some.. girl.

She sat there, on the ground, tears plastering her face as she could no longer hold back her sobs. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, burying her face in her arms, bawling quietly careful not to alert more people to her location, she had no wish for anyone else to see her this way. She had no wish to let this girl see her this way, but she couldn't hold it back, she didn't know what came over her, she was crying and she couldn't stop. And she felt as if sparks were going to fly out of her whenever her mind wandered into the dark space that was making her this way. She wanted to hit someone, she wanted to break something, she wanted so badly to never have gone down that road. She wished that she could restart her life, she wished she would die sometimes. The only thing keeping her living was the people that relied on her, the people she cared for. They were it.

She pulled her satchel off her and tossed it to the side, laid her weapons at her side. She was broken. Not ever once making eye contact or even looking in the direction of the girl. She curled up against the wall of rock that was beside her and just broke completely apart. Even though she had no wish that it was this girl who found her, she so desperately wished that someone would care, that someone would help. What was that saying her mother always said, angels show up in the strangest of places.

Age : 29 Posts : 796

The scene before her shocked her. Odd as it was to see a grown woman break down before her, she felt her protectiveness kick in. It started whe she heard her sobs. The very sound struck her deep to her core. It was filled with so much sorrow and dispair, it was bothering. What had happened to cause this? What was so wrong in this persons life to cause such pain? It did not settle well with her at all. Such a beautiful female cast with sorrow was oddly exotic in a way to her. It was bad to think like that, but she could not help but see the artistic side of it. Beauty marred by a harsh past. Her eyes slowly sought the woman out, seeing the sobs shaking her body. She was shaking, completely breaking down before her. It made her slightly uncomfortable, to be witnessing such a thing.

Her body shifted slightly, her mind wandering. What to do? She asked herself. Instantly she wanted to be by the woman's side, holding on to her. From the looks of it, it seemed like that is what she needed. Quickly she lurched forward, the fallen leaves from the trees around them crunching underneath her feel. Those were the only sounds heard for a moment. Sobs and the crunching of dead leaves. She did not stop until she was right beside the woman. Her arms hesitated slightly, but genlty she reached out, touching the womans hand. Briefly she squeezed it, letting her know that she was there.

Unsure if more physical contact would cause the woman to react in a bad manner, she whispered sorry to her before doing more. Then her hands left hers and instead drew the women more closer to her. She half held the female, stroking her arms slightly, trying to provide some form of comfort. "I know.. I'm just some girl.." Quietly she began and again looked down at the lady. Her sobs still caused her heart to clench slightly, hating the sound instantly. "But I... I'm here.." the words itself after she said them confused her, not knowing if they made sense at all. Hopefully the woman understood that she was trying to say that she cared. Her arms squeeze tighter around her, pulling her closer. She did not know what else to do. This here was a complete stranger. Someone she just met, so the boundaries were unclear to her. Perhaps if she knew just a little more, or knew her longer, she would know what to do and say.

Age : 31 Posts : 299

What is left of me, but a Shell,

For what seemed like years, the girl approached her. Slowly, cautiously, Faith held back no tears, for she couldn't. Not even if she wanted to hold them back her emotions had become awash, her head in the clouds, she could barely grasp logical thinking. Everything was spinning, she wanted to throw up because she couldn't stop thinking about all those days, all those weeks. The girls hand; her mind shot back to reality as her hand was squeezed by the girl. Not a second later, she fell into the girls arms, she was so small compared to her, but that didn't matter. At least she was there. She didn't even know her, what kind of person was she, letting her facade drop for some little girl whom she'd never even met. It didn't make any sense to her, how could she of let this happen. I guess it had to happen eventually, it was only a matter of time before someone disturbed her place of thought, it just so happened that this girl was the one to do it. She pressed her face to the girls chest as she held her, wrapping her own arms around the girl. Her fingers digging gently into the girls clothes as if she was clinging for dear life.

The girl assured her that she was here. Faith said nothing, her breathing slowed. The tears stopped. Her fingers clenched the girls shirt. A guttural growl escaped her lips. Her hand released the girls shirt and formed a fist, her other hand following suit. Without thinking, she let out a strained sound, tears exploding from their ducts again as her hand began to smash into the wall of the rock, it didn't stop. She kept swinging. In the back of her mind she could feel exactly what was happening to her hand. She let out pained sounds, her eyes went to that crazed look again, growls turned to yells but she wasn't going to stop. Blood seeped from the wound her other hand was twitching completely on its own, Faith's mind lost in dazed rage that controlled her arms repeated swingings, the rock's only sign of the damage was Faith's own blood that splattered on its wall.

Age : 29 Posts : 796

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she observed the woman. Once filled with care they now showed something completely different. They echoed the anger she was starting to feel inside her. From a calm face filled with a nice passion of worry was now cold and stone like. Her eyes were hard, unfeeling as they watched her hit the wall. Her ears twitched at the animalistic sounds she was hearing. Started off from a growl now had climbed into yelling. The peacefulness of the area now shattered with, in her view, useless screaming. She hated loudness, and now it surrounded them. Over and over again the sounds of flesh hitting solid stone echoed. Despite her anger, her heart started to ache. Seeing this woman in such a state pulled at her emotions, tugging on them.

Her lips curled up while she was watching and a low canine growl came forth. It was low and steady, un breaking. As the scene played out before her, her body tensed up. Her hands twitched, becoming aggravated. She could not allow this, at least not let it happen near her. Then suddenly she lashed out, grabbing ahold of the bloodied hands. She felt the warmth of the blood, the wet slickness of it. For a moment she wanted to clean her wounds up, just as her counterpart would. She fought the urge back, knowing it would have caused some sort of bad reaction from the woman. Her eyes locked onto the females holding her there. She saw the intense rage in them, and her own softened just a bit. For a brief moment she let what caringness she felt be shown. Then she blinked, pulling the woman closer once more. "Stop it." She barked at the woman. It felt weird to talk to the older person as such, but she felt ithat it was needed. And it couldn't be helped. Watching this self mutilation put her stomach in a state of unease. Whatever it took to make her stop, she would do it.

Age : 31 Posts : 299

Fractured remains scatter to the ground like dead leaves.

In her bloodlust, Faith's hand was grabbed. In the soft touch of the girls it trembled, the adrenaline slowing through her veins. Her cries stopped, everything stopped. Her face was coated in a thin layer of drying tears, but besides that; she had stopped. Her fingers trembled with excess adrenaline and she raised her clean hand to her face, wiping the snot and tears away. Then the pain hit her, and she clenched her teeth for a moment and examined her hand. Nothing major, simply cuts and bruises and probably some rock in her skin, she'd be fine. The blood ran along the back of her hand to her smallest finger, dripping off onto her pants. She leaned into the girl, comforted by her presence and muttered her thanks, sniffling still. She rested her bloodied hand on her leg, closing her eyes and trying to regulate her breathing again. She exhaled, long and softly she felt relieved though she did not know why. It was the first time in a long time since she had an anger attack like this. It was due for her, it was only a matter of time.

She had nothing to say. She was just.. drifting. It was hard for her to stay awake now, everything that happened had drained her, physically, emotionally, mentally. She felt like going to bed, even though it was still the afternoon. Still, it wasn't like a nap was a bad thing, it just seemed counter productive seeing how it was the only time you could really get anything done. She didn't like the fact that if she went home and napped, she would be awake all night with nothing to do. So she struggled to remain awake. She could get coffee or something and sleep well tonight. That would be better, still; right here, in this comfort she felt safe and it was nice. She somewhat didn't want to leave, she felt as if trouble was waiting though. She did have a job to do back in town and this girl.. could be trouble. She didn't even know her name.

She was suddenly realizing everything. This girl, this wolf. This.. this area. She felt endangered. She didn't move, though you could feel her body tense a little, even if it was "just a girl." as she had said, she could have just been saying it. No one is "Just a girl." or "Just a guy." Everyone is someone, and this girl, she looked somewhat like trouble. She knew of Inuzuka's who used wolves as fighting partner's, however she wore no headband, and had not the smell of Konoha's city on her. She grew temperamental, at any moment this could turn into a fight and she could have a dozen of her little friends around Faith. She was no fighter and without her tools she would be in for a treat, if not death. She remained calm, clear watching the horizon, listening. Feeling the girls heartbeat, it was fast but she seemed relaxed somewhat, she couldn't believe that she would just sit through and let her abuse herself if she was someone.. bad. She calmed, but stayed cautious, she wasn't that easy to let up her guard, not even for someone who saw her like she had.

Age : 29 Posts : 796

Through angered eyes she watched the woman calm down. It was weird seeing her go from rash anger to sudden calmness. Like it was a brief spurt of emotion or something. Again she felt it was odd for a woman to act that way, to bare all in an enclosed enviroment with a stranger right by her. Her own mind was still clouded by rage at the woman's slight stupidity. Self harm was never the way to go. But then she saw her face wince slightly and her own emotions came gliding back. Her body shuddered slightly, a physical reaction to the anger that was leaving her. In replace of that she grew somber, saddened by the woman's pain. Lightly she slid her fingers down her arm, only to rest gently on the damaged hand. Gingerly she lifted it, bringing it to her lips. Her nose flared slightly, as if smelling the blood on there. For a second she did not do anything. Contemplating for a quick second, her eyes flickered to the woman.

In that soft voice of hers, she murmured her last name of Inuzuka to her. Then gently her tounge flicked at the wound, tasting it. It had that metallic taste, nothing unusual. Though to her, it was a treat. That small animalistic side of her growled in delight. A few more seconds passed as she continued lapping up the still flowing and dried blood. Her tounge slimy passed over her hand, lingering for more then what was needed. Secretly she wanted more, she wanted to bite down and chew on her ready flesh. Her eyes closed momentarily, trying to shut those thoughts out. She could not..not to this person. It was not right to do it at all really, it was abnormal to want to in the first place. Her body shuddered slightly, hating the choice her mind was coming to. Against her will, she lowered her hand, placing it back on her leg. Quickly she muttered apologies for her actions.

At the end though she smiled. "Rysa..." She had finished herbown introduction finally after some time. Now it was the other females turn. Softly she asked her of her name, hoping to get some response. But looking down on her, she noticed the tiredness that oozed out of her. It seemed her rage had carried her into this state. She huffed slightly, disappointment filling her body. If inky she could of stopped it. Or maybe to not have asked her at all. Afterall , it was her asking that set her off. Silence is golden..maybe she should have followed that idea.

Age : 31 Posts : 299

What is left of me, but a Shell,

Faith looked surprised, somewhat nervous as the girl lifted her hand up to her lips. She half expected her to take a bite out of it, those Inuzuka teeth sparkling in the light. Though, that is not what happened, instead the wetness and somewhat roughness that was her tongue slid along her wound. It was an odd sensation, she felt her wound being cleaned much like how a cat or a dog would lick their wounds to get excess debris out of them. It was somewhat like an experiment to her since she had never thought of doing that. She examined the girls tongue, it was just a bit larger then a normal tongue, making it possible to lick how a dog or cat could. This threw any of Faith's hopes of developing something out of it. After she finished licking the wound clean and contemplating for a moment over something, the girl placed her hand back down on her leg. Most of the blood was now cleaned up from her hand, and she could see no bits of anything in it, it was still bleeding; but only a little so it was clotting already.

The girl, Rysa, looked at her and smiled as she introduced herself. Faith blinked, realizing yet again how she still didn't know who she was. Rysa Inuzuka, the name sounded familiar for some reason, but she could not put her finger on it. Should she give the girl her name? She might already know her if she was a villager, however she seemed not to be since she was an Inuzuka, and wore no headband. She was put a little on edge by this, she knew now she was trouble, at some point in her life, she had done something to get her in trouble. Her voice was soft, and a little sore "Aalis.. Faith." Her name, she stated plainly and said nothing more. She had nothing else to say, the tiredness she held still hung over her like a raincloud, and as if the day could not get worse, it seemed the clouds were coming out. She hated when the weather did stuff like that, rained when she was in a bad mood, thundered when she was angry, snowed when she was depressed, it was almost like the gods were laughing at her.

Age : 29 Posts : 796

Almost mindlessly her fingers ran over the soft skin of the other woman. By know she knew how delicate she could be, just like glass. So very fragile on the inside, ready to crack. And on The outside, smooth and unbending, a slight hardness to it. when she spoke, her ears twitched slightly, paying attention to her voice. It sounded so wore and used from all the yelling and crying. Again she found herself become slightly emotion of her. This woman..Faith still laid on her. Not moving much, and did not seem as if she would move. A light chuckle passed through her lips, slightly happy at the thought. She would enjoy if she stayed a bit by her, for going back to the village seemed like a bad idea for the moment.

Again she sighed, her eyes still on Faiths face. Sadly she knew that soon the woman would leave. She had to get back to her village afterall, unlike herself. She had a place to get back to. That and being associated with her would most likely be very bad news. Slightly she shifted, unease flooding her bones. Her stomach was in knots, nervous. Her breathing hitched for a few passing moments, and her eyes closed. "I...don't belong to the village...As you can tell." She said it, and now waited for some sort of reaction. Lashing out, rejection, anything horrible she prepared for it. Still, there was that tiny speck of hope she carried. Hope that Faith wouldn't mind too much.

Age : 31 Posts : 299

Sweet friendship, how it tastes to feel alive again.

Rysa, this new found... associate, informed her that she was not of the village. Luckily Faith had already taken that note in, "I know." She said, though her voice didn't hold the same soft clarity as it did before. Now it held something different, the tone much the same as the one she had used when she first met her. The harsh, shell that remained, the empty feeling. Numb to the world, that look that nothing mattered anymore. She stood up, shaking the girls embracive arms off of her, she bent down and picked up her weapons, both knives disappearing up her shirt sleeves as cooly and swiftly as they had before. Her satchel was a little ways away so she stepped over to it and opened it, inside she pulled out a pencil and a piece of paper. She scribbled some writing on it and folded it in two. Then shoved the pencil and paper back into their little pouches in her bag. Picking it up, she hesitated for a moment before slinging it over her shoulder, then regardless of her thoughts, slung it over her shoulder and adjusted it to position.

She walked back over to the girl and held out the piece of paper. "If you're in town. This is where you can find me, you're welcome to hide there if need be. You deserve it. If i'm not there I will be back by the evening, unless something happened. There is a key in the flower pot 3/4 of the way down." She paused for a moment, waiting for the girl to take it. "I am in your debt. You have my word. My home is yours." She said, with a slight bow then looked around. "I must get going though, I have dawdled too long here. Goodbye Rysa." She finished, and gave her a quick hug, but tightly. She waited for a moment, pausing, as if working to remember every detail of the girls face and appearance so that if she changed her appearance, she would still remember her. She would like to call her friend, but for now she was just a girl she was indebted to, soon though, she felt a friendship would emerge. She finished her thought and with a splash of a waters mist disappeared, gone.

Age : 29 Posts : 796

Gingerly she took the note, her fingers grasping the light crisp paper. She nodded slowly to what Faith said, paying attention commenting everything to memory. It was goodbye for now, as sad as that was. Her words meant so much, even if they were said because of "debt". It was one thing to offer their house to a stranger, but it meant more when that stranger was a "criminal". Faith was putting her profession and life at risk just by offering. Slightly she smiled, a silent thank you to her actions.

She was leaving, something made more real bye her goodbye. Then she embraced her, eliciting a small gasp from herself. It was brieft and short, but for just a moment, it lingered. It was a nice tight hug, one from which spoke of more time to come. "Good bye Faith.." She mumered softly. Faith had paused for a moment, giving her a searching look, as if studying her every body feature. For this she stood still, not wanting to distract her. Of course she gave a slight smile, which was perfectly timed. Just right after she had vanished in a cloud of mist. Slowly she stood up, glancing around her. That peacefulness was back now, but was rather sad for her. The person that made it have such an eerie beauty had vanished, taking all of it along. Sighing she smiled, hopeful for their next meeting. Then she turned and trudged her way back into the forest, Aisu following her.

[Topic End]