Police the Streets! {Mission}

Age : 31 Posts : 149

Naruto RPG

Age : 29 Posts : 796

Tagged

Age : 29 Posts : 796

Name: Kinzoku, Ayame
Official Grading: 10/14
Unofficial Grading: 10/14

Comments:
This was refreshing to read. Nice lenghty posts are always a joy to see. Your details were nice as was how you showed your characters reactions to certain events. I liked how you controlled the "thieves" in this mission, giving them actual emotions and such as opposed to having them being basically brain dead. For the actual 'mission' everything seemed in order, neatly done. Also how you separated each post was good. Ending in the right spots to cause no confusion. When It came to the 'induction fight' with Kija, that too was done rather well. You described your attacks very nicely along with including character thoughts. It was also smart how you had Ayame figure out that it might be someone from Midaras group or himself even. There was however a slight error in your bold and coloring in that one sentence of yours (the [b] and [/color] were visible) that did catch my eye. However it was done once, so I see no real problem.

Name: Uchiha, Midara
Official grading: 11/20
Unofficial Grading: 11/20

Comments:
Oh Kija. Really not much to say here. There were slight grammar errors, none to severe though. What I do notice though, is the lack of your characters name. Which is a good thing really. You listened to my advice I gave you in your other evaluation. Also your detailing was much nicer here too. Overall good, just remember when speaking to capitalize that first letter. Ex: "Thank you for taking care of my cat." and not, "thank you for taking care of my cat." Just clean that up a bit. Again I thank you for listening, seeing people do that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

Age : 29 Posts : 4301

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