Shinrai-Akimoto clan

Age : 25 Posts : 1767

Clan Name: Shinrai-Akimoto (trust – True Autumn)

Location:

The Shinrai-Akimoto is made from the merging of two clans, and therefore is located in various places. However, just outside The hidden leaf village there is a small village that is mainly made up of clan members. they also own a few shops dotted around Kohona.

Signature traits:

Ninjutsu:

This clan excels in Ninjutsu and other chakra based attacks. once members posses the kekkei genkai they have an abundance of chakra. they're attacks are made with lightning and fire elements, but some members have found themselves possessing wind or water chakra. They use their powers to create fast and powerful techniques.

physical:

The clan members often have purple, auburn or red hair, and most have green or violet eyes. It is also very common for them to be thin.

Mental:

The members of Shinrai-Akimoto tend to be quite passive in nature, preferring to keep to them selves.

Hijutsu:

The Shinrai-Akimoto clan posses “Eitai yoarashi’’, which translates to ‘eternity storm’.
Eitai yoarashi is a hidden jutsu which utilizes fire and lightning jutsu. it is used by first creating a pillar of flames. If it burns for long enough, then storm clouds will form. The caster must then make contact with the target (either physically or with a ninjutsu attack). Then, lightning bolts will rain down upon the designated target. The attack cannot be controlled anymore when the target is chosen, and will end when the target is dead or the caster is out of chakra.
another way in which the Hijutsu can be formed is by creating four pillars of fire, creating a barrier. then, the lightning will strike inside the box. this move can be controlled however, but whilst in use, the caster cannot move.

Shinrai-Akimoto was made when the Shinrai clan and Akimoto clan merged. The Shinrai is a clan from the land of lightning, who use lightning jutsu, and the Akimotos are a clan from the land of fire, who use fire jutsu. The couple who married were Mitsuki Shinrai and Arashi Akimoto. Their Children where the first to posses the Eitai Yoarashi, and they developed it further into what it is today.
The family settled down close to the Akimoto families location, in the land of fire.
As the bloodline was passed down, the clan members noticed that some people had different traits within the clan. Some possesed the purple hair of the Shinrai, or the red hair of the Akimoto, but there were deffinet divisions. Their latest member, Shinrai-Akimoto, Shigure, (the great Grandson of the first leaders) does not even posses fire jutsu. Shigure’s uncle was made the 3rd head of the clan, and his father the second in command. The brothers died in an ambush on an S-rank mission. After this, Shigure’s mother commited suicide. The clan then went their seperate ways. Only four clan members remain : Shirgure, Shigure’s two older cousins and his aunt.

Clan Jutsu(s) :

Issui inin rakurai – current of lightning charged water
Rank : B
Type : ninjutsu
Range : close (0–5m) – mid (5–10m)
Element : lightning & water
Description :
First, a current of water is made, then, one will charge lightning into ones hand and channel it into the water, electrfying anything in it’s path.
Chakra cost : 15cp

Tenka bushin no jutsu – fire by lightning clones
Rank : C
Type : ninjutsu
Range : -
Element : lightning
Description :
Clones made when lightning starts a fire. When killed, they return to lightning.
Chakra cost : 7cp

Tsuin makai oiuchi no jutsu – twin hell final Blow
Rank : A
Type: ninjutsu
Range: close (physical contact)
Element: Lightning & fire
Description:
This jutsu is used by manifesting large but stable amounts of lightning and fire chakra in ones hand, before fusing them together, and smashing them into ones opponent causing an explosion. It may cause self harm if used improperly.
Chakra cost: 25 CP

Age : 29 Posts : 4301

Heya Winged Blade
Can you please not center everything, I'm finding it incredibly hard to read right now and thus stopping me from evaluating the clan. Please try to place everything in a nice, neat and orderly fashion.

Age : 25 Posts : 1767

edited
hope it's ok now

Age : 29 Posts : 4301

Alright thanks for editing it, I'll now begin the evaluation of the clan.

Signature Traits
Firstly, a clan can't specialize in all three of the main specialties. Also your Taijutsu description is simply unneeded, if your clan 'rarely practices' it and it's 'quite weak' anyway, then there is no point to mention it in your clan description. You've also mentioned Genjutsu to be quite advanced in your clan yet you have given no techniques that back this up, plus there already is a clan that I believe specializes in genjutsu. I'd personally get rid of the two mentioned specialties and simply keep the Ninjutsu but place it into more detail. You mentioned four elements but one of the elements aren't even used in your listed techniques.

Kekkia Genkia
Suddenly being given large amounts of Chakra without a listed technique will most certainly not be allowed, along with the fact that you're able to heal wounds quicker. You're basically describing what a Jinchuuriki will have, specifically the nine tails. Large amount of chakra along with fast healing abilities. So please get rid of that. You're going to need to expand on your Fire and Lightning idea because right now I can't see it being a blood related clan, rather a hidden jutsu clan.

Clan Jutsu
All of the techniques need a lot more detail placed into them. As I've stated before, none of these actually seem as if they can be passed down through blood, rather only made as hidden jutsu. Which then again is a bit of a stretch considering one of the techniques is basically zapping water with lightning, not exactly hard. Your clone techniques need a lot more description as the Twin Hell Final Blow, also please stick to the Chakra Costs that the site offers and not have a guess. They're there for a reason.

Age : 25 Posts : 1767

edited again

Age : 29 Posts : 4301

Quote :: Clan Jutsu
All of the techniques need a lot more detail placed into them. As I've stated before, none of these actually seem as if they can be passed down through blood, rather only made as hidden jutsu. Which then again is a bit of a stretch considering one of the techniques is basically zapping water with lightning, not exactly hard. Your clone techniques need a lot more description as the Twin Hell Final Blow, also please stick to the Chakra Costs that the site offers and not have a guess. They're there for a reason.

Hidden Jutsu
You've practically given a description of a technique instead of telling me what the hidden jutsu is and what it's based around. I would personally just not make a clan and instead simply create some custom techniques with a valid description.

Age : 25 Posts : 1767

okay, i guess

Posts : 2032

- This clan is quite messy in its current state. You haven't actually explained or described anything that would warrant this as a legitimate clan idea. You claim that they are talented at ninjutsu and pretty much specialize in Lightning/Fire release in a unique fashion. Yet, you have noted about other elements like water and wind and even included them into the foundation of the hidden clan technique's?

- The hijutsu in itself isn't an ability at all. Your description is more a of summary of something that could be achieved in a single technique by a normal character with elemental release (which is practically everyone). The idea of combination of base elements into single jutsu is a combination technique and perhaps you are getting this mixed up with advanced releases? As of now, the clan is not acceptable as an idea and a new approach is needed.

I would firstly ask to look through our current custom/canon clans and see if you like any. But, if you don't, they if you want it you can get help in thinking of a new idea for a clan or a new approach to this one.

Age : 31 Posts : 8965

Archived.