Aalis Family Secrets

Age : 31 Posts : 299

Name: The Pickpocket - Rapid Stealing
Rank: B
Type: Weaponry
Range: Mid
Element: N/A -
Description: The user coats a thin line of wire in chakra and uses this chakra to control the wire. This wire can move very quickly with the added jutsu, and the user does not have to do much of anything. Standing utterly still or following someone in a crowd, the wire rapidly wraps around a specific weapon or item and shook! Its gone, Fastened weapons and such the user would obviously have more difficulty removing. This requires little concentration and comes almost naturally to Faith's blood. This technique is almost impossible to detect. If the user is close enough they may simply apply the wire to the item.
Chakra Cost: 10

Name: The Pickpocket - Rapid Recovery
Rank: B
Type: Weaponry
Range: Mid
Element: N/A - Water
Description: The reverse technique of Rapid Stealing, this jutsu the user attaches wire to their own weapon or a weapon they just stole and sends it back. This is useful to gather information without the target finding out, they could easily steal the item, return it with this technique, and be on their way. Once again, this technique requires little chakra and can move at quite rapid speed.
Chakra Cost: 12

Name: The Pickpocket - Cats Cradle
Rank: B
Type: Weaponry
Range: Far
Element: Water
Description: The user coats a small amount of chakra in a number of wires and sets up a literal grid in front of them, they can have up to ten wires, one attached to each finger, much in the manner of a puppetry user the user's wire latch onto a number of weapons flying at them and they can then ground all of these weapons. This allows the user to stop any number of weapons virtually. The closer the attack where the weapon is fired or thrown the more difficult it is to stop. From this they can also re-direct all the weapons back at the opponent through a simple swing, however the attack will come at a much less direct and accurate user. The heavier weapons, such as spears, hammers or anything that weighs more then 5 pounds is unable to be stopped by this technique.
Chakra Cost: 15

Age : 29 Posts : 4301

Rapid Stealing
To be honest I don't think you need to include the water part about the technique, you could probably control it by simply coating the wire in chakra. Plus it could make some times slip out due to the water giving the wire a slippery hold. It's up to you though if you want to change that part. One thing I'd like to see changed is the range, I believe 'Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m)' is more then enough for a technique such as this. Lastly, I'd like to see a continuous supply of chakra to the wire, resulting in [x] amount of chakra per post. You've also got to increase the chakra cost from '8' to '10' since that's the minimum for B - Rank techniques.

Rapid Recovery
Again I don't see a real point to water due to the slippery challenge you'll face and I'd also like to see the range lowered to the same as the first one, along with an additional chakra cost per post please.

Cats Cradle
Once again, please bunk down the range and I'd much prefer this one to stay at medium range considering the possibilities this technique has with it, you could grab a kunai from fifteen metres away for instance. Also don't forget about the length of wire you actually have. You should also mention specific weapons as well, considering lifting something as heavy as a hammer is going to be more difficult then a kunai. Lastly, continuous supply of chakra per post please.

Age : 31 Posts : 299

Quote :: Rapid Stealing
To be honest I don't think you need to include the water part about the technique, you could probably control it by simply coating the wire in chakra. Plus it could make some times slip out due to the water giving the wire a slippery hold. It's up to you though if you want to change that part. One thing I'd like to see changed is the range, I believe 'Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m)' is more then enough for a technique such as this. Lastly, I'd like to see a continuous supply of chakra to the wire, resulting in [x] amount of chakra per post. You've also got to increase the chakra cost from '8' to '10' since that's the minimum for B - Rank techniques.

Removed Water, didn't think of that. Added Chakra Cost. This technique only lasts for a single post, possibly 2 posts at best. Its simply zoom zoom, grab the thingy, zoom zoom back. Its a distance related steal. This is meant to be able to be done from across the street, or from a good distance away.

^See this.

Quote :: Cats Cradle
Once again, please bunk down the range and I'd much prefer this one to stay at medium range considering the possibilities this technique has with it, you could grab a kunai from fifteen metres away for instance. Also don't forget about the length of wire you actually have. You should also mention specific weapons as well, considering lifting something as heavy as a hammer is going to be more difficult then a kunai. Lastly, continuous supply of chakra per post please.

The purpose of this technique is to STOP ranged attacks, this should require an ample distance between your character and the weapons coming at them. Simple reaction time is required, think about it, you see an arrow about to me shot at you, you're reaction is limited to get the fuck out of the way or get shot. You need range between characters for this technique to be useful at all. Edited the weapons that can be stopped. Like I said, this is a one-shot technique, you grab all the weapons mid air and ground them or send them back, there is no need for a continous supply.

Age : 29 Posts : 4301

What concerns me about all three is the range to which they offer, now I understand that for the third one a bit of distance needs to be made, but when will you ever fight someone who is thirty metres away from you? You should really be using the proper ranges that the site has to offer, which is Close (0 - 5m), Med (5 - 10m) or Far (10m+). I'm not willing to accept techniques that have a range of fifty metres, it's simply far too big of a range. I guess I'll be swayed by the Chakra Cost per post and simply forget about it. I'll be happy to accept the techniques once they've been reduced in range.

Age : 31 Posts : 299

Age : 29 Posts : 4301

Thanks for editing, brah!
Approved for Training!

Age : 29 Posts : 3640

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