Dinosaur Summons for Saru Saya [Finished]

Posts : 730

Dinosaur Summons for Saru Saya [Finished] Utahraptor_BW

Name: Kusamaru Onitori - Grassland Demonbird

Rank: C

Appearance: This horrific beast stands only five feet high at its hips, and typicaly crouches quite low to the ground. While it may seem short the deinonychus can raise up to a height of almost 9 feet, and has a long and slender body. It is easily fifteen feet long, including its whip like and feathered tail. Its mottled black hide is covered in thick, tough scales, though the creature gets its bird like name from it's coating of thick downy feathers. The light green colored plumage would blend in well in most grasslands, or forested terrain, and the longer feathers of it's arms and tail gives it a distinctly bird like appearce. Its head, however, is clearly reptilian, bearing a long snout filled with countless long and sharp teeth. It's teeth are over an inch long and curved back, serrated to tear through flesh with terrifying ease. Its forward reaching arms are graceful and fast, ending in three fingered hands with two inch claws. Its legs are also berift of feathers, exposing the dark and solid scaled legs, which end in viciously taloned feet. The inner most toe of each claw has a retractable killer claw that is curved and razor sharp, and a full twelve inches long on this creature. Its obvious predatory appearance can invoke fear in some, because this animal can, and clearly will, eat you as soon as it has the chance.

Beneath its coat of feathers there's a harnass of thick leather straps that secure a light saddle to this creatures back. The saddle is little more than a pair of straps, and a place to get a grip with the legs. Kusamaru's great size and strength make it perfectly suited as a mount for any who are brave enough to try to tame it. Even with Saya on its back, it still manages to move with astonishing speed and grace. The monster can still move freely and fight on its own while carrying up to 400 lbs. Fastened to the saddle is Saya's short bow, and a carefully wrapped quiver of arrows.

Contract Type: Blood Donation

Species: Dinosaur [Deinonychus]

Elemental Affinity: Wind

Special Abilities/Characteristics: Because of the family this animal comes from, it has some obvious advantages. Its light predatory design was mastered over time to be an apex predator, and capable of bringing down foes many time its own size. It has a pack mentality, making it a great partner when working in a team of ninja. This creature is fast, deadly, and not above eating the bodies of those it kills in combat. Kusamaru has only managed to learn a few of the jutsu his family are eventually capable of, and only half the great size, but his predatory design has let him be of endless use to Saya.

Keen Senses: This creature has a large nasal cavity that is packed full of olfactory receptors. This creature can track by sense of smell as well as a well trained ninja hound, and discern specific scents from others.

Grasping Hands: These creatures possess nimble hands that can pick up and hold items. Onitori can pick up items weighing up to 50 pounds, and carry them with him. Both hands are needed to pick something up, and as such Kusamaru can not use his hands in fights while he's holding things, though he may still employ is feet and mouth. While he is capable of delicate manipulation, he can only operate something as complicated as a doorknob or a lever. He can not type, not operate a telephone or anything that can be reasoned as complicated or small. Though good for grasping, the velociraptor's hands are not very useful in combat. It's claws are mostly used for climbing, or for holding onto prey that is much larger than they are.

Mount: This creature is used to having Saya ride on its back. It can transport up to 400 lbs on its back, so could reasonably carry two adults. As long as it is carrying less than half of that (200lbs or less) Kusamaru can move at full speed and with no penalties to its mobility. If he is holding more than 200lbs, than Kusamaru will move about 50% slower than his maximum, to compensate for the extra load. Loads over 400lbs are enough to render this animal immobile.

While this animal is acting as mount it is unable to use its two toe claws as weapons. Because it must compensate for the load on it's back, it's unable to rise up to its full height to bring it's claws to bear. With Saya on his back, Kusamaru is limited to only using his large tooth filled snout for fighting. Of course, nothing stops Saya from attacking from Kusamaru's back.

Swimming: Due to the bulky feathers covering the tail and arms of this animal, it is rather clumsy in water. Fast moving currents are capable of overpowering the creature. In calm water this creature can swim enough to get to shore, though in rough waters it usualy finds itself having difficulties in swimming.

Background:

The terror of the grasslands, Kusamaru is the youngest of one of the larger breeds of dinosaur in the Shikaze tribe of raptors. He is cunning, brave, and very strong. Because he is so young, and comes from a powerful family, he is determined to prove himself a valuable asset in wartime. In spite of his size, he still has some growing to do. He's young and small by his family's standards.

Kusamaru has only developed a third of the wind style techniques his family learn in adulthood, but already is as fast as a cheetah and strong as a bull. Saya and Kusamaru met while exploring the vast central plain of the Shikaze's tribal territory. It was the area surrounding the central stronghold of the saber toothed tigers home, and they spent a two months together gaining control over it's vast expanse. Kusamaru acted as Saya's horse, the only way she could have ever kept up with the fast moving pack of velociraptors.

Kusamaru has also proven himself to be a challenge for almost any competitor in single combat. His ravenous appetite and gaping maw tend to persuade most combatants to run away on their own, but he is known for his brutality in combat. He uses his three inch claws and killer feet with devastating effect, able to bring down prey both smaller and bigger than he is. About half way through the first month of acting as Saya's horse, Saya designed and built the saddle for him out of some old and sturdy armor peices. It keeps her on his back while he is maneuvering only if she holds on very tightly. No reigns are needed to control Kusamaru, as the bird is smart enough to understand and speak the tongue of humans.

When Kusamaru has saved Saya's life on numerous occasions, and the two are good friends. They're loyal to the end, and Kusmaru is one of the few predators who has never threatened Saya. Knowing of Saya's honor and inner strength is one of the reasons Kusamaru chose to become Saya's summon and personal mount. Kusamaru's feathers of blueish green and will continue to lighten until he's a mottled turquoise all over. Because he is still young, he only knows a few of the jutsu he'll know when he grows up.

Summons Jutsu:

Spoiler:

[Training Link:] https://ultimateshinobi.darkbb.com/offrpg-roleplaying-f28/summoning-some-help-training-topic-579-words-t843.htm#7376

Age : 37 Posts : 1136

Looks very nice. Well done. However I can only approve the creature on the understanding you take wind as a second element since summons should share the elemental affinities of their users. You also need to correct the 3rd jutsu since it refers to Oro

Posts : 730

Jutsu corrected, Wind being added.. uhm.. soon as I figure that out. Also, I took out the line about it letting it shoot fire too, because that just doesn't make sense to me. I put better description into what happens to those in the area.

If some kindly moderator wants to click on my signature link and add wind as my second element, I would greatly appriciate ite. ^-^

Posts : 730

I now have Wind added as my secondary element! Hooray!

If nothing else is lacking, please approve my pretty little dinosaur. ^-^

Posts : 191

I'm confused as to how by blowing a whistle, it will bring the dinosaur instantly to your location. Furthermore, I believe summons must share at least 1 of your specialties, in order to prevent too great a range of versatility- I understand your specialty is weaponry for both, but I believe it is possible to give him weapon-like abilities... Also, is this creature actually faster than a genin with taijutsu specialty of a similar rank?

Posts : 730

I'm not sure, how does forming hand seals and drawing blood get them there in an instant? MAgic? Sure, let's work with that. It's a magic whistle that summons the dinosaurs. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. o.o

I see nothing anywhere about a summon having to have my specialties.

Yes, this creature, being a dinosaur, is faster than a genin with tiajutsu.

I hope that helps clear things up.

Posts : 191

Greater speed then genin with a taijutsu specialty is probably a no- if you plan to quote my summon- its physical strength is greater than someone with WEAPONRY specialization- taijutsu its about equal, therefore at best his speed would have to be equal. Nevermind the specialties for now.

Posts : 730

This creature runs WAAAAAY faster than your average genin. I mean, like, 60mph open sprint like fast. Cheetahs would have been jealous of the velociraptor, and all its cousin's speed. As it comes born with its natural weapons, it is also a master of using them to kill. Its had to kill a couple times a week, every week, just to keep itself fed.

This summon is basicaly taijutsu primary, ninjutsu secondary. After looking at the other summons that have been approved, and looking at my summon, I find it completely fair and balanced as some of the others. While it does have a combat advantage with its physical capabilities, it has only 2 jutsu, and 2 natural abilities that are like jutsu.

This summon is just a fine predator, and a lion would be every bit as deadly. I could say "The muscles don't allow for crushing power." which is true.. but it doesnt need crushing power. Eve a little power is enough when you have razor sharp claws. As such, let me say this, and see what happens: This animal is as skilled in taijutsu, as someone who took it as a sub-specialty, and will likely eat your face if given half a chance.

Posts : 1044

I'll look into this tomorrow if you don't mind Jsalos, I'd like to take some time to get all my points on this organized.

Posts : 730

I wait with bated breath for your details. Please don't keep me in suspense! I've got lots of things to say in defense of this summon!

Posts : 1044

Alright, well lets get started...

First off, I believe the summoning may be too large because its up in Staff that we should place some restrictions on summoning size, but I'll have to double check and find out what the size limits are per letter rank.

I have difficulty believing that such a creature, could hold that kind of weight on it without suffering a reduction in speed. Creatures in the raptor family wouldn't even carry food with them because it would weigh them down, they'd leave it and run if something can near, and they avian dinosaurs would sometimes vomit out their stomach contents just to lose that all important weight. So carrying 400 pounds without losing speed seems unrealistic according to what a know on the matter.

The whistle, as stated, makes no sense, and no, summonings arent brought by magic. Summonings are called from their original dimension by using chakra to bridge the fabric of space, and using blood to provide the all important physical binding required to summon them. Sound can't carry that level of chakra without a Kekkei Genkai ability to utilize Oto or some similar feature, and you're missing a flesh component that is part of the summoning process, therefore, you can't summon them with a whistle.

Your species is off as well, Deinonychus is another species completely, you'd be better off just chosing the family as a summoning rather than being off with the species there...

All these special traits are just excessive, we know it has claws, it can run, yadda yadda yadda, they don't all need a special section two or three would work a lot better and be a lot cleaner. Mobility, Natural Weapons, Senses, and then maybe Mountability.

Swimming...I don't think that thing can swim, I can just look at it and see that its body is going to be very clunky in water, so saying you can move quickly through liquid-filled or just plain watery terrains doesn't make any sense. The thing would have the world's most awkward dog paddle...

Stealth isn't measured by rank, that I'm aware of, its more of an on or off sort of thing as I know it so I don't think a rank comparison is fitting here. You can be more stealthy than someone by experience but you can't really tie it down to letters.

Jumping, those feet don't look a thing like they were designed to jump, they look very avian and birds take short hops or fly, you don't see a bird drop and land on its feet. Why? Because its body isn't designed for that kind of force, hollow bones and what-not, so I can't see this being a jumper. Deinonychus maybe, this thing? Not unless you have some evidence that conflicts with what I can tell by sight.

As for grasping...there is no way...those aren't even fingers, those are inflexible talons, there is no way this thing could even use a power grip, let alone a precision grip, so it can't hold things. It has no fingers except those exposed talons, and operating something with those would scratch it or break it, its a dinosaur, not a monkey.

Speech? All summons can talk unless mentioned otherwise, pointless to mention.

None of your Taijutsu is Taijutsu, they're all Nin.

Posts : 730

Allrighty! The amazing dinosaur. To begin, let me paraphrase that the reason I chose deinonychus as the family, is because it's about in the middle of the Raptor size scale, with Velociraptor being below it, Utahraptor above it. Not that those are the only 3 breeds in, I just chose it because it was about the average for the family. Also, the name itself means "Terrible Claw" Which also sums up the whole family for being infamous for their single over sized claw.

To get into more detail on the critter, there's still a great deal of debate over the actual physical make up of the velociraptor. While small and most likely feathered, it's not an avian creature. It doesn't have wings, it has feathered arms. It's not designed for flying, though some believe it to have been the working prototype on which flying creatures were based. Archaeopteryx is a much more avian type of dinosaur, and has similiar, but significantly different anatomy to be only closely related to the raptor family.

It does have light bones, it does have a light frame, but it is not a bird. The creature still weighs in at "Far too heavy to fly". This is a dinosaur first, and bird like only in vague appearance. I got some base information for this post from the wikipedia for Deinonychus, which is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deinonychus

The whistle is fine, I'll get rid of it if it's disliked that much. It was in all ways like the summoning jutsu in chakra costs and time to use, I thought it was just a nice and unique way to represent calling a creature. I'll change it to a blood contract, like everyone else has.

First Point: Carrying Capacity. As this creature is not a bird, it should be looked like one. Deinonychus was bigger, weighed more, and had much more muscle than birds. If you absolutly -have- to compair this creature to a bird, then compair it to a vicious, carnivorous, ostrich. Note: Grown adults can ride an ostrich, and it can still run very fast. Another Note: People Race Ostriches..

Swimming: You're probly right. Thinking it over, I was still thinking it had a powerful tail like a reptile would. However, being feather covered, it would be weighed down in water and likly not be very good at swimming. I'll change the note to reflect this.

Stealth: So how do I represent it's stealth? It's a stalking predator, so it is stealthy by it's nature.

Grasping Hands: Please refer to the wiki, or any other research you care to do on it's own. The raptor family are known for their grasping claws. While they can not weild weapons and the like, which you could reason a monkey to do somehow, they can still pick up and hold things. Things such as eggs, carcasses, sticks and branches. Their hands are perfectly capable of picking things up. This is often limited to just one thing, as the dinosaur uses both hands, and grips it against the abdomen. It can only carry 50 lbs in it's hands, which seems fair. Most people can hold more than that.

Wikiquote Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Speech: Alright, I didn't know details were frowned upon. I thought the application was already pretty, and that it flowed well and added detail to it. I suppose I can remove the useless fluff, if you prefer. I just hate to have to point out obvious things later, and not have it in writing.

Jumping: Even though the Raptor was a pretty small animal, it often hunted much larger animals. Jumping is perfectly natural according to it's body design, and used to get on top of the larger animals it hunted. A smaller raptor could likely not have jumped up 20 feet into the air, but in the naruto universe humans can easily reach this height. Beyond just ninjas, summoned creatures have been shown to have enhanced characteristics as can be seen in Gamabunta. Not even a giant frog could leap as high as he does. Of course, my dinosaurs can't even leap quite that high. I'll better define it if you like, and place some actual limits on it, though I'm unsure what they would be. What's the max jumping high for a genin? Is that based on rank, or what? There's not really a way to regulate these sorts of things in place, so I'm sort of shooting in the dark when defining it.

Mountabiliy: Well, to bring it up again, full grown men race on ostriches, and a deinonychus is much stronger than an ostrich. I think 400lbs is pretty fair, as that's even far far less than a horse, or a mule can carry. 400lbs is pretty much 2 fully equipped people with a little room to spare. If it wasn't one of the larger dinosaurs from the family I would agree, but this thing can't even carry it's full body weight. only 60% of it.

Ok, I'll make the couple changes in just two moments, and hopefully be done. If you think this summons is too strong for C rank, I might be inclined to agree with you. However, I think it will be alright after a couple edits. Let me know what you think!

I turned its jumping ability into a taijutsu sort of technique. It makes sense to me, I mean humans shouldn't be able to jump higher than it can. It's basic nature, so I gave it the ability to focus chakra into jumps for the further height and distance it should naturaly have. I think it's pretty fair.

I labled the acid spitting as tiajutsu because it was a technique that stemmed from natural biology, and not use of chakra, or focusing elements. I changed it to ninjutsu, though. I also toned down its close combat abilities to better reflect it as a mount, this summons original intent. Saya can fight, so it doesn't need to be super combat dinosaur too. It just needs to be a swift running, agile mount that can carry saya and her spear.

Posts : 1044

You keep saying deinonychus, but this isn't a deinonychus, so that kind of makes it all pointless, the only relation is by its scientific family relations, but it isn't the same thing as one. This thing is plainly avian bent, that picture when followed to its source leads to another dinosaur, so why are you talking about deinonychus?

Posts : 730

It is, actually. Go look at the wiki for deinonchus and you will see a strikingly similiar creature. Look up veociraptor, and you will find another stikingly similiar picture. The picture I used was actually from Utah Raptor, because it's color scheme worked better for the grasslands demon bird.

Deinonychus, Velociraptor, and Utahraptor are all from the same family. I know the pictures don't look like they did in Jurrasic Park, or any other dinosaur movie, but this line of very closely related dinosaurs evolved feathers. Many people believe it was for insulation and heat conservation. Some believe it was one of the first advances towrds creatures like Protoaviaus, or Archeopterix, which are both far more bird like, and have wings capable of limited flight, and eventually sustained flight. Most of the dinosaurs capable of flight from Acrheopterix's family are all range in size from a squirrel to a house cat. As posted in the description, My dinosaur is in no way capable of flight. The feathers keep it warm, and apparently impede it's swimming ability.

Heres some more pictures to take a look at, of this family of dinosaurs.

Velociraptor

Spoiler:

Deinonychus:

Spoiler:

Utahraptor:

Spoiler:

HEre's a model of deinonychus in some hitory museum, for a better representation of what they looked like. Note the feathers that are completely uselessfor flying, the solid legs for fast running, and the forward reaching claws. All these traits are shared by this family.

Spoiler:

The reason I keep using deinonychus, is because that's the medium sized dinosaur from this family. The size scale I used was from another dinosaur in this family called Achillobator . It's just slightly larger than a deinonychus, and makes a better mount. I figured I was allowed a few feet of leeway with the size, everything else summoned in the Nartuo show is much larger than it is supposed to be. Even naruto summons a 2 foot tall frog, as well as massive gama bunta, before he was even in the chuunin exams.

Allow me to offer up this final explanation of why I am using Deinonychus..
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Reptilia
Superorder: Dinosauria
Order: Saurischia
Suborder: Theropoda
Infraorder: Deinonychosauria
Family: Dromaeosauridae
Genus: Velociraptor

That is the taxonomy of Velocipator, not deinonychus. Note the order is is part of. Deinonychsauri. Everything from Deinonychus, to Utahraptor, to Velociraptor is part of this "Terrible Claw" Order. They're all very closely related, in the same way german shepards, Mastifs, and toy poodles are closely related.

Posts : 730

Bump... been a while..

Age : 31 Posts : 2547

Looks alright..

Approved for training.

Posts : 730

Link to training topic added.

^-^

Age : 31 Posts : 2547

Approved