Chiba Clan

Posts : 1187

Clan Name: Chiba

Location: Kumogakure

Signature Traits:

-Primary
Body
The members of the Chiba clan have all had dark black hair that is wild and shaggy. As well as this their eyes are always naturally very bright colors, these can include red, orange, pink and many others. Also their pupils have a web of black spikes inside of them which is needed to perform their transformation jutsu. Four canines is another aspect of what is strange with their bodies, this is often a sign of the shinigami blood inside them. The clan members who do not have this are not able to access the families secret jutsus

-Secondary
Raiton

All of the clan members of the Chiba household are natural users of the raiton element. This is mainly because all of the house hold hidden jutsus are Raiton.

-Tertiary
Obsidian

All of the members of the clan have an immense love of obsidian. Each person will always have one item made of obsidian always with them. These items will almost always have a weapon made of obsidian. But the head of the clan will have an obsidian sceptre. This is because they find that it helps them concentrate because of the purity of the stone, they feel almost connected to the precious mineral. Back in the age when the clan were barbarians if a member found the smallest amount of obsidian they would perform a celebration ritual. It is usual that the lower branches of the clan would offer what little obsidian they could find to the head of the clan and the main branch.

Kekkei Genkai:
The Chiba family have an ancient bloodline that makes the user able to morph into a ‘Shinigami.’ When in this state each family member has their own unique beast with in. They do not actually turn into Shinigamis but the technique has been given this nickname as the user turns into a demon. In this form the strength and speed is increased by a certain amount depending on the rank. Also the amount of time a user of this jutsu can last in this form grows in length the higher the rank of the person. Through out the life time of the member of the family the monster grows inside them. This means that you can not have a seven year old with a massive demon it gradually increases height and size. Each creature can only be as strong as the original user of the bloodline, this is because the amount of power or speed a person will gain in the form is two fifths of what the original users power or speed is. This is because the transformation will only change either one of power or speed. Images of the demons can range from humanoid figures to pure animalistic bodies. These bodies are always a fixed size but grow with age. Different kinds of bodies could make you faster by making you more streamline. In humanoid cases by losing muscle could make the user faster, or the opposite; gaining muscle making them slower.

History:
Once a thriving clan the Chiba house hold is now a small family of the main branch. The Chibas were feared and thus hunted. Seeking refuge one of the leaders of the clan made a deal with the Raikage many years ago agreeing that Kumogakure would be a safe haven. The clan was once a barbarian clan that would attack, steal and ransack anything that came near them. Because of this they have had a history of staying close to the Kayuga clan. They were known also to have close relations to the members of the cult of Jashin. Many crooks would hire them to do their dirty work. The clan was poor and would do anything for money so obliged. The whole family would libe in a tiny village somewhere in the hidden village of grass. Through this the became feared and respected as they pulled off many assassinations, thefts and pure mayhem. Each branch of the family would do a different job, like one for assassination, one for theft and so on. After they joined Kumo the agreement that they made with the Raikage was that they would be gain free access to any where in Kumo but any member of the clan must be instantly loyal to him no matter what the cost. As well as this the clan managed to gain powerful people’s trust and eventually made their way to a high ranking position in Kumogakure.

Clan Jutsu:

While in the ‘Shinigami’ form the users can use certain jutsus.

Transformation

Spoiler:

C-rank

Spoiler:

B-rank

Spoiler:

* If using this clan please add an image of your inner shinigami *
* As well as this please in your description write whether your form increases your strength or your speed *

Posts : 1187

Completion Bump

Posts : 1216

Quote :: Name of Jutsu: Shini Kai
Rank: E-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element:n/a
Range: Size of the human body
Description: There is one hand seal specifically for this jutsu and it is the only one needed to activate it. Left hand: Palm is held straight up, right: forms a fist and places it on the palm of the left hand, as well as this the user needs to call their transformation by name. A glowing green pentagram appears around the caster and as this is happening the black spikes in the casters eyes come out and envelope the whole body. When this is finished the spikes are repelled from the body and the human is replaced with it’s inner demon. This jutsu increases speed, strength and stamina but can only be held for so long. But it can be quit when ever the user wants.
E/D: 100 words
C:1 post
B:2 posts
A:4 posts
S:6 posts
Chakra: E/D:5
C:10
B:20
A:30
S:45

How much speed, strength and stamina does this give? Does it rival SCs?

Quote :: Name of Jutsu: Gobōsei chakur
Rank: B
Type: Nin/Ken
Element: Raiton
Range: Mid
Description: The user does a few hand seals before placing their hands slightly above the ground then drawing them upwards slowly. From this two pentagrams will rise up and be able to be taken out of the air by the caster. These will then be thrown at the caster constantly and will come back to the caster after it has been thrown. If the jutsu were to hit the target it would have the same effect as throwing a chakram; making large but not very fatal flesh wounds.
Chakra: 14

This is more weaponry than Ken. Also how large are these pentagrams?

Quote :: Name of Jutsu: Gobōsei sumas
Rank: B
Type: Nin
Element: Raiton
Range: Mid 13m
Description: The user performs a small amount of hand seals before thrusting their dominant hand out in front of them while placing there other hand halfway down their arm. After this a glowing pentagram will appear on the users hand and expand. This will expand until it blasts of the hand and goes in the direction the hand was pointing all the while expanding. When it has fully expanded it is hard dodge as it is large. When it hits the target it will send them back flying, the longer left in the air the greater speed the pentagram gets. This means it will hit the thing behind them quicker and with a more painful experience.
Chakra: 14

How big is it and how much damage does it do?

Quote :: Name of Jutsu: Gobōsei bushin no Jutsu
Rank: B
Type: Nin
Element: Raiton
Range: -
Description: The user does the hand seals then places his hand directly above the ground. A glowing green pentagram will appear directly beneath where the users hand is. From this a replica of the person will rise out of the ground and be ready to fight. But as the clones are made from the pentagram, one of these can only make five clones.
Chakra: 13 for the first
11 for each one you want more of

How many hits can they take and are they able to act freely of the user and move away from the pentagrams?

Quote :: Name of Jutsu: Gobō rasshu
Rank: B
Type: Nin
Element: Raiton
Range: Mid
Description: The user performs hand seals the places their hand on the ground. A glowing pentagram will follow the target for forty seconds before fading away. However if the pentagram were to hit the target it would explode upwards in a shower of electricity causing great pain to the target.
Chakra: 16

How large is it and it only causes pain? No physical wounds?

Posts : 1187

^done

Age : 29 Posts : 1797

Alright, I'm going to have to go through this clan bit by bit, since there are quite a few errors in my eyes. Apologies in advance if my statements come off as threatening or offensive.
Grammar • Please run this entire app through some sort of grammar-checking device, preferably Microsoft Word or Google Docs. The entire app is not only riddled with several grammatic fallacies, but also very obvious past-tense, present tense mixes. It becomes difficult to read when these tenses tend to switch in mid sentence, very often. Also, please try to use paragraphs a bit more often, as certain areas (like the Kekkei Genkai) are a little confusing to read. {A little tip for future reference, refrain from using the word "you" in virtually any form of writing. "You" refers to the reader directly, and causes discomfort when reading. "You" is fine in dialogue, but when explaining or describing, tone down the usage greatly. Remember, it is not the reader that is going to be using this ability, but rather their character.}
Depth • This kind of goes along with Grammar. Your Kekkei Genkai (and signature traits for that matter) are greatly lacking in depth. You'll need to better explain what abilities are gained from these transformations, what kinds of aesthetic changes apply to everyone, and separate your Kekkei Genkai into separate sections so that it is easier to understand. This will greatly help not only the staff in understanding the Kekkei Genkai itself, but also other members who may wish to join the clan.
Kekkei Genkai & Signature Traits • Alright, down to the specifics. Your Primary signature trait explains that the clan members have odd eyes. Why exactly does this matter in regards to the Kekkei Genkai? Your Kekkei Genkai fails to even mention the oddly colored eyes, unless I've missed something. Also; for the tertiary trait, why are the clan members so obsessed with Obsidian? The mineral is only mentioned in the signature trait, and not even in the History or Kekkei Genkai. If it is just a gimmick, then please explain the origins and significance in the History, as right now it holds no IC purpose. Finally, in regards to the transformations; you'll need to elaborate exactly how big of a boost one gets. Simply leaving it up to the creator is not acceptable. Specific numbers of minimum and maximum; along with how it affects each rank is highly recommended. Numbers can be anything from multiples (ie. 1.3x stronger) to percentages (30% stronger). You'll also need to state drawbacks to using these forms, otherwise the clan cannot be approved.
Shini Kai • See Kekkei Genkai & Signature Traits
The other Jutsu • Why are these jutsu exclusive only to your clan members? They seem like jutsu any character could realistically make. When making clan-only techniques, it should revolve around the Kekkei Genkai or Hiden; or be unique to a degree that it cannot mistakenly be created by another member.
That is all for now, although I may come back to the rest of the jutsu if a valid reason for their existence is given.

Posts : 1187

I was expecting one about grammar sorry I'm doing this all on an IPad so there is no grammar corrected but I will try and do that when I get the chance. Thank you and I will get to work on it Smile

And it was in no way offensive or threatening thank you

Age : 29 Posts : 3145

Just wondering, but are you still working on this? Seeing as this clan's location is Kumo, I would imagine the answer is 'no'.

Posts : 1187

Meh it's fine if to archive it

Age : 29 Posts : 3145

Okay ^^

Archived.