|
| Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] | |
| |
Ruka
Age : 32 Posts : 1495
| Subject: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Fri 14 Sep 2012, 12:09 am | |
| YORUMA HISAKO.THE INFO. Name: Yoruma, Hisako Nickname: Neko – was called so by one of her clan superiors during her test day, he seldom used that nickname while talking with or about Hisako making it catch on among the fellow clan members. Age: 19 Gender: Female Appearance: Having been known for her pale white skin, Hisako changed a little over the past few years. Endless training outside made Hisako gain a little tan and complex and stressful life of ninja made the girl‘s slightly darker tone stay. This added a little more charm to the girl as her skin color no longer contrasts that of her hair which hasn‘t changed very much. Hisako‘s night dark hair has gained a little lighter shade over the time though still it‘s core didn‘t change. The young Yoruma‘s face has gained a little rounder form as well giving her a more feminine look and completely destroying her brat-like pointy chin from Hisako‘s childhood.
Hisako‘s trademark carribean blue eyes hasn‘t changed, given her experience on the field it gives people even more creep and her stare, if she is interested enough to look you in the eyes that is, is said to reach to your very core, a feature warming for the few friends the girl has and sending chilly sensations through the spines of those she dislikes. The girl‘s eyes had either diminished their sensational feel of cynism and sarcasm they previously had, leaving a more empty and not caring stare behind, once again a feature that easily instills fear to people facing Hisako. At times when Hisako is triggered or decides to let her emotions loose, her eyes may gain a happy or at times even maniacal look to them.
Hisako never really changed her prefered style of clothing but defined it a little more over her genin years, where before she used to throw anything she found on herself, these days she started finding several combinations of outfits that she feels best in. During her casual days or training she may simply wear a black sleeveless top or a T-shirt, during colder days she may put on one of her leather jackets on. When she is training, Hisako wears somewhat similar clothes but sometimes she can also throw on a boy T-shirt stating that it‘s more comfortable to train in. During more diplomatic or social cases, Hisako may wear something more formal, not being the expert in the field, Hisako has several blouses for the matter yet she rarely uses them. During her days as genin Hisako oftenly wore belts of knives around her waist, thighs and shins. Having experienced some times where she needed those desperately yet didn‘t have any, Hisako started to always have at least some set of knives hidden, oftenly ticking other people off or looking strange. During her missions however this gives her a more intimidating look with little restraint. Hisako still keeps her silver necklace on at all times, only removing it to wash, it reminds her of more early days when she started her days as a kunoichi yet Hisako can‘t really remember where she got it from.
Forehead Protector: Hisako either wears it around her arm, waist as a belt or thigh depending on her mood. Personality: A true child of Yoruma clan Hisako is violent. Violent in her own way, she is not the one to rush, but one to calculate. Her calculations and strategies are considered strange as it often involves her or her friends getting hurt as a key point. She does have a more rash and hot headed side when it comes to killing, or suprise situations. Just as most members of her clan, Hisako does have a tendency to be sadistic, often torturing or enjoying killing people. Having seen some more death and fighting in her early years as a kunoichi, Hisako had grown even more accustomed to fighting and killing yet had developed a strange limitation not to kill when killing would be impractical, something she herself rarely questions. The limits can quickly dissapear when Hisako faces at least remotely challenging situation or if she gets an urge to kill. Almost every second of a battle, the girl is looking for a reason to forget her limit and go with an intent to kill.
During her early days as a genin, Hisako rarely seen violence so she developed a habit of looking for fights or reasons to hurt people. This was caused by the same frequent urges for violence and blood. At times Hisako can‘t sleep or she stays awake due to her frequent nightmares, this causes her to wander aimlessly around the village, seeking for trouble. Whenever Hisako sees a violent act in the village she rushes in but not to help, she views the act itself as a justification for her to let herself go and has oftenly hurt people badly or killed where it wasn‘t entirely necesarry.
As a true trained assasin, her outlook on the world is as close to ninja's as it gets. There is very little honor to her personality as she prefers more assasin-like approach even in life: hiding from problems of her personal life in fighting and death. killing anything to put out her own loneliness and lack of personality. She may get sensitive if someone mentions this though as she is not without feelings just with an iron facade. She mainly likes spicy food and sea food, but will eat just about anything if needed. Her hobbies include learning or collecting all kinds of weapons, mainly swords or knives. Even though Hisako dislikes social life due to relatively small experience in it, the girl has found some people she liked over her days as a genin (or at least didn‘t dream to kill them).
Hisako is very hard to converse to as she is cold, cynical an sarcastic, often mocking and making fun of people, knowing just where to strike both physically and mentally. It is not uncommon for her to flirt to achieve some sociopathic or objective purpose, utilizing her good looks is no big deal for her and she has done it many times successfuly in both missions and life situations. She is not the one to get connected to people, believing everyone is going to die eventually and seeing no point to get any bonds. Despite all of her flaws she is loyal to herself, her clan and her village. Hisako is highly loyal to her own ideal imagining of the village sometimes this might even cause her to question her actual orders but Hisako had never disobeyed her superior whether it was a superior of her clan or the village and during her time as a genin has even learned to put her personality issues aside for the cause of her clan or the village.
Clan: Yoruma Clan
Nindō: "A knife in the right heart solves everything"
THE NINJA. Origin: Land of Water Affiliation: Konohagakure Rank: B-Rank Chuunin Specialties: Weaponry(Main: Close; Sub: Long)/Ninjutsu Elemental Affinities: Lightning / Water Combat Style: Hisako is always an assasin first, lurking in shadows and trying to take her opponent silently, if that fails, she utilises her clan's signature fighting style using two elbow-length knives. Her fighting style uses a lot of acrobacy and spinning motion to get momentum, because of her unussual movement style her strikes aren't as easily predictable as ordinary ninja's. As much as possible she likes to finish her battles quick, using lethal stabs, slashes and cheap killing moves, she has absolutely no skills of leaving her target alive. She has common sense of human anatomy knowing where to slash or stab to kill immediately and which spots will leave the target marked for death.
If target is very resilient, she may get very desperate and try to flee as a target she is unable to take out is one of those things that bring an emotion on her face - fear. She is very likely to utilise her environments, setting traps, if possible, before engaging face-to-face or using any ways to end the fight quick. She favours throat slitting or disemboweling at close distance. She also uses throwing weapons or summons them from a scroll but her preffered fighting distance is close to close-mid. Special Characteristics:
- Spoiler:
Name: Advanced Stealth Rank: C Type: Physical Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: A skill gained by ninja who have begun to specialize in the art of stealth. The ninja becomes very light and quick on their feet. Their movements no longer create sound and they now gain a natural skill for hiding and camouflage.
Name: Quick Speed Rank: B Type: Physical Physical Requirements: Must Specialize in Weaponry or Taijutsu. Training Requirements: A 1200 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The second level in the art of speed accessible to those who have undergone intense training in high speed movement. The possessor of this talent has an increased speed of 40% which makes them considerably faster. Their movements become so fast and vivid that the ninja can create afterimages in motion. They're body is seen as a blur as they move swiftly and almost unmatchable to the human eye.
Name: Swordsmanship Expert Rank: B Type: Physical Based Physical Requirements: Must specialize in Weaponry Training Requirements: A 1200 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The possessor of this characteristic has greater skill wielding a sword or a knife than even those that specialize in the art of weaponry. The possessor is capable of predicting techniques and analyze the movements of opponents armed with swords, are able to easily overpower multiple opponents of average or great skill. The possessor also possesses greater precision and is more precise with the strikes of a sword able to strike exactly where he/she wants lightning fast and is able to easily deflect projectiles.
Name: Evasiveness Rank: C Type: Physical Physical Requirements: None. Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The ninja trains their ability in more advanced evasive maneuvers which serves the purpose of avoiding enemy attacks. The survivability of the ninja increases as they are now capable of executing quicker flips and dodging basic forms of physical attacks by reading an enemies movement.
THE BACKGROUND. History:- Early Childhood Arc:
Born in a typical Yoruma family, while they were residing in Kirigakure, Hisako was known for her preserverance ever since her early childhood. After her father did an assasination in Kirigakure, the family had to retreat back to Konoha to avoid retaliation of the wealthy family that was involved. She was expected to become a great ninja and in a clan that specialises in assasinations, she was taught basics of fighting just before the beggining the Academy. She enjoyed the theory of fighting and assasinations so much, that she gave up on most of her personal life, avoiding her peers who played games or stole fruits from shop counters, she read of basic human anatomy and practiced her ninja techniques alone with help from her ninja parents. Because of this other classmates started thinking of her as of a cocky and arrogant girl, the fact she was good at her classes only deepened this impression. Those that actually got to know her got scolded by her hard character and started to avoid her. Her childhood was officially over when her mother was killed on a mission when she was 10. From that moment she asked her father to train her more manly way of fighting instead on relying on her flirty nature and poison like her mother oftenly did, learning the ways of the blade and forever bonding her life to cold steel.
- Later Years:
Few years later, Hisako started on actual field training, more sparring with her father then learning in Academy, which resulted in her epic failure at her written test. At the same day, her father was killed when earlier men from Kirigakure finally tied the dots and found him in Konoha. The man then beat Hisako up and left her to die, but she pulled the very sword that killed her father from the man's own sheathe and killed the attacker with it when he lost his vigilance but not before getting slashed on the right eye with a kunai. Despite the fact that Medical nin managed to save her eye and reduce the scar as much as possible, the young girl was left broken mentally, believing no one is worth bonding with as they will betray her by dying. It was then that she started studying as hard as she could and finally graduated from the Academy with top grades in her practical tests and decent ones in the written test that she failed before. Nevertheless she was all alone and broken as she had no one to enjoy it with. Having much fascination in killing and her only good memories being of times she discussed art of death with her father and times she trained alone she started craving to become an assasin, trusting no one and caring only of her clan and her village
- The Test:
Just after her graduation, she was tested by the clan shinobi if she could take part in clan's activities later. Her psychological profile left Yoruma psychologysts stumped as they approved that she is indeed an assasin material with a slight tendency to rebel and has absolutely no qualms of killing or any morals to stand in the way. Her combat test proved decent as she, despite getting easily beaten by her tester, left him greatly satisfied. Just after a test she was taken into an assasination as an assistant. Since she was young and an unexperienced shinobi she had little part in the assasination itself but she did the assignments she was given with utmost care and did not complain and her superior commended her to the clan elders as an excellent squad member. Little did he know how much Hisako suffered inside to be kept away from her greatest goal. Finally she got her desired kill few months later, when she seen a band of small time bandits in village territory. Covered by night she disposed of two goons with her kunai from range. The last one tried to run, but Hisako got personal with him, killing him face-to-face. Such behaviour angered her clan as Konoha's officials got interested in this event but it was put down to a case of self-defence and seeing how young and cute Hisako was, and how innocent she acted, it wasn't very hard to believe. The punishment of her clan was much more severe, leaving her beaten as well as denying her from assasination activities for some time. At last Hisako got over it and got ready for actual ninja work, leaving her past behind.
Roleplay Sample:- Spoiler:
A cold breeze blew as Ruka knocked on Diwa's door."There are days when I wish I wouldn't be wearing t-shirts" she thought, that cold wasn't important, it was just something to occupy Ruka's mind until Diwa opened the door, which surprisingly he didn't.Ruka knocked again and after about a minute wait she checked the door, it was unlocked, "I'll have to talk with him about that" she thought to herself while closing the door and making her way to closest chakra source.It felt strange, it was strong and deep but at the same time very concentrated.He looked like meditating, he was so concentrated that she had to say his name out loud to get him to notice her.
He strangely enough hugged her, Ruka blushed and at that moment felt happy he didn't see her face not because of the blush but a weird mimic it made."Guess he's happy to see me" she thought out, Diwa, let her go and they could talk.Ruka felt a bit relieved when her thoughts were confirmed and Diwa didn't blame her, she was training all this time sort of not to feel useless and all this training really did make her whole lot stronger, but she was concerned about how he blamed himself."Don't get frowny, it wasn't your fault those guys attacked, we could be dead if we actualy would've gotten to that mansion, you know...".She then slipped into her thoughts again...Something about Diwa was different, he was acting so cheerful and caring, so different from the guy before, he even told that he would tell her and Kenai his secret which he guarded like hell before...
"Yeah, I would like to know, I think Kenai would too, that is if you're sure about it...".Her mind slipped again, not because she didn't care for her conversant but because her dream and the last figure came up again, and those three words she whispered...She felt how she needs that sword back.Ruka smiled though her heart felt more like crying "Hey, at least I know how you feel now, I got my precious thing taken too".Diwa scratched his head, he seemed to be having some complex thoughts, Ruka didn't even try to guess, she never wondered what were boys thinking.He then let out something spontanious, unrelated with his thoughts completely."Our new Sensei said that we need to get to the training grounds today, he's the Uchiha that saved us".Ruka blinked and nodded as a playful sign of agreement.Diwa went out to the other room and after a slight wait they set off...
While going, Ruka glanced over Diwa, his movements were really elegant but at the same time he was really fast, sure Ruka had her acrobacy and could keep up with him quite decently but he moved so swiftly and gracefuly it was a sight to wonder.A while after they made it to the Training Grounds, waiting for Sensei and Kenai to show up.
Last edited by RukaAyaka on Sat 22 Sep 2012, 7:40 pm; edited 7 times in total |
| | | Ruka
Age : 32 Posts : 1495
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Wed 19 Sep 2012, 5:54 pm | |
| THE ARSENAL.
- Academy Jutsu:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
- Clan Jutsu:
Name: Yugana Shi no Hitosashi (Dance Of The Graceful Death) Rank: C Type: Weaponry Range: Close Element: N/A Description: The user starts using his/her weapon in a free-flow system of movements, making no stops for rest. The movements are of a spinning fashion, utilising dance-like acrobacy, such as flips, jumps, rolls to inflict highly damaging cuts. The longer the jutsu continues, the more momentum the weapons gain, cutting stronger and faster. The higher rank the technique, the more damage the cuts inflict with C rank causing bleeding, to A rank possible dismemberment. Chakra Cost: C ( 4 CP per post)
Name: Yoru no Hitosashi (Dance of the Night) Rank: C-A (B) Type: Weaponry Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: The technique begins with the user slashing repeatedly at the opponent with their weapon. Rather than focus on a single strike, the movement of the weapon and the user is fluid; the user advances towards their target, lashing out repeatedly and unceasingly, as if in some intricate dance. With each consecutive slash the user and his weapon gain momentum and consequently, this causes the power of the slashes to increase. Once the user finds an opening, a finishing thrust will be performed to end the dance and accumulate all that momentum and power into a single attack. There is a substantial increase in the strength and speed of the slash, as the Rank of this Jutsu increases. At A Rank, elemental chakra can be conducted through the weapon to increase the damage dealt. The speed and strength of the Jutsu increases with each post. Chakra Cost: 4 + 1 CP per post (C Rank); 6 + 2 CP per post (B Rank); 10 + 3 CP per post (A Rank)
Name: Ikinari Sentou (Sucker Punch) Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close to Mid (0 to 0,5 metres) Element: N/A Description: After using a smoke bomb, the user's clone charges out of the smoke, with intention of being struck down, while the opponent is distracted, the user sneaks up behind and punches a punch with a small amount of lightning chakra that numbs the opponent for one post, making it harder for him/her to move and dodge. The punch itself is only slightly stronger then a normal punch. Chakra Cost: 5 CP
Name: Hana no Shi (Petal of Death) Rank: B Type: Weaponry Range: Mid (5 to 7 metres) Element: N/A Description: This jutsu is a more defensive form of "Yoru no Hitosashi" created for use against taijutsu or close range ninjutsu users. Then he she starts moving in a strange, unpredictable fashion to potentially dodge more predictable attacks, similar to a ballet dance. When a stronger blow is dodged and the user sees an opportunity, he/she does a pirouette with his/her blades at close distance dealing potentially lethal slash on an unprotected body. The damage may be decreased if a wielded weapon is a knife or a dagger. The spinning slash is harder to dodge the more weight and force was put in the blow(s) that was (were) dodged. It can not dodge less predictable attacks or attacks with greater speed as well as attacks secondary effects (such as gusts of wind from very strong blows) still do apply. It also needs few moments to do the initiating poses therefore suprise attacks can't be dodged with this techniue unless it is in use for one turn at least. Chakra Cost: 10 CP / 5 CP per post
- Other:
Name: Ayatsuito no Jutsu - String Reeling Technique Rank: D Type: Weaponry Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: Ayatsuito no Jutsu is a technique utilizing wire. This string can be used in rappeling, or as a method to tie down and restrict the movement of an opponent. The properties of the wire also allows the user to guide fire down it with any number of Katon Jutsu. Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Aqua Squirt Jutsu Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close ( 0 to 3m) Element: Water Description: The user kneads up some chakra and inside the body and transforms it into water, then spits a small, slightly compressed amount of water in a form of squirt, usually used as a mean of distraction or for making an opening up close, also uses as a mean of "snapping someone out of it" can prove to be rather usefull. Chakra Cost: 3 CP
Weapons and Equipment
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
Name: Fukigane Rank: C Type: Close - Medium (Bit longer then close, not entirely medium) Appearance: A weapon made for slashing and inflicting slashing wounds, this weapon is made for disembowelment and dismemberment. Slightly curved to enchance slashing speed and reduce visibility while in-motion, might look rusty but actually isn't it's leftovers of blood on the steel that made it. It's a special kind of steel that doesn't actually do anything but has this rusty-golden colour when contacts with proteins in blood. The more blood this blade seen, the more rust-gold-ish it becomes. Not very large, just a bit past elbow. Has spikes on the edge near the point made for dismemberment or disembowelment it works like a saw if used in motion. The handle has a special device which can be locked onto user's arm, making him/her capable of putting the weapon to the side of one's arm, taking away the need to actually swing it and can be treated as a "sharp elbow". Perfectly suited for those with more acrobatic and free-flow style of combat. The blade is about 43 cm in length. Quantity: 2 Storage: Easily carried on the back or on the hip easily sheathed and can be concealed with medium effort behind a cloak or arm. Special Abilities: Increases speed while in motion, reduces it's visibility while in motion, making it slightly harder to block. Slashing at full force, at full strength results in dismemberment, scratches inflict grievous wounds, thrusting is slower but stabbing inflicts wider and harder to treat wound, increasing chances to hit vitals. Name: Genin Kit Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Katarina (Recolor) Source: League of Legends Image URL: Yoruma Hisako
Last edited by RukaAyaka on Sat 22 Sep 2012, 7:42 pm; edited 3 times in total |
| | | Chris
Age : 29 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Thu 20 Sep 2012, 10:59 pm | |
| Everything looks good; Well done!
Could you please expand your History by a bit? Look at Winged Blade's Hokage application for inspiration xD (that was a joke. PLEASE do not write as much as him )
Also please use an Official Genin Kit, which can be found here http://www.ultimateshinobi.org/t3781-ninja-kits
Otherwise, you're pretty much done.
P.S Congrats on getting your Clan approved. |
| | | Ruka
Age : 32 Posts : 1495
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Fri 21 Sep 2012, 12:04 am | |
| Switched the kit to Genin's kit, expanded the history slightly. I'm sort of sleepy currently so I can rewrite it if something doesn't make sense or has a lot of grammatical errors.
P.S. Thanks |
| | | Chris
Age : 29 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Fri 21 Sep 2012, 6:42 pm | |
| Ah one tiny issue. You can't have the Hidden Cloud Technique seeing as it's only available to Kumo nin. (even if your family is supposed to be from Kumo)
Also your origin - Kirigakure - doesn't seem correct? Did you mean Kumogakure? Either way, it should be a Country rather than a Village.
Please do the above before you get a second approval.
APPROVED 1/2 |
| | | Ruka
Age : 32 Posts : 1495
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Sat 22 Sep 2012, 9:29 am | |
| Edited it out, marked Land of Fire as Origin since the life in Kumo thing was very temporary. Switched Hidden Cloud with String Reeling. |
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Sat 22 Sep 2012, 6:10 pm | |
| Honestly everything is looking fine so far. I know this is going to seem rather nitpicky of me but your history talks about you spending your early childhood in Kiri but your origin is The Fire Country. So could you either edit this to make sense or at least tell me how it was that your character was born in Konoha yet spent her early life in Kiri?
The other issue I have, which is entirely my fault, is the "Dance of the Night" technique. I missed this on your clan application but there needs to be a chakra upkeep for this since it seems like you continue this action for several posts. Edit it here and I'll make a corresponding change to your clan application. I am very sorry about that, it's entirely my fault here.
Do these two things and I will be glad to give you my approval. |
| | | Ruka
Age : 32 Posts : 1495
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Sat 22 Sep 2012, 7:44 pm | |
| Edited: The character was born in Kiri but spent most of the life in Konoha, added continuous use cost, as well as costs for higher ranks. |
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Sat 22 Sep 2012, 11:54 pm | |
| Looks fine then. Stay safe and try not to hurt anyone with all them pointy knives and such.
Approved 2/2
Don't forget to make an account here. |
| | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] Wed 31 Jul 2013, 10:38 pm | |
| Archived. Due to character death.
|
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Yoruma, Hisako [Konoha Chuunin] | |
| |
| | | |
Page 1 of 1 | |
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| FORUM STAFF |
|
Affiliates |
OUR BUTTON
OUR AFFILIATES
|
COPYRIGHT |
Naruto© - The Creator [ Masashi Kishimoto] Custom Characters, Equipment, Techniques, Images, etc. [Their Rightful Owners] Any creations, posts, and ideas from this site are copyrighted to their respective owners. Therefore, information may not be taken or used without their permission. Failing to abide is plagiarism.
|
|