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| Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] | |
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Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Sat 20 Oct 2012, 5:56 am | |
| Uzumaki, Hyuuga, Rukasu.THE INFO. Name: Uzumaki, Hyuuga, Rukasu Nickname: Silent Ruka Age: 16 Gender: Male Appearance: Rukasu has red hair that is straight, and the length is long but it is only an inch above his shoulders. His hair was black but his father died it red so that people could see a difference in the boy. His eyes are narrow, with pure white color, and red eyebrows. He wears his black forehead protector on his forehead. His skin tone is white; he is about 5' 5" tall and weighs about 130 lbs. He wears a black shirt that has two pockets, it’s also zipped up to above his chest a little, and he rolls up the sleeves to his elbows for comfort. Under the shirt he wears the see through t-shirt. He also wears this chain around his body, that goes over his left shoulder and it goes around under his right arm. He wears these dark gray shorts, and on the right side of the shorts is a side pocket that is attached to the shorts by this black and white wrap. He wears the black regular ninja shoes. His finger and toe nails are always neatly trimmed, and his teeth are sparkling clean. He wears these white bandages on his right arm which is from his wrist to under the elbow a bit, and he wears a brown glove on his right hand with a metal plate on it. On his left arm there is nothing. He always for the most part is serious.
When people try to talk to him he won't even utter a sound, but he will smile, showing the person that he was listening to what they were saying. He will shake his head no from left to right if he doesn't like a certain thing that is going on. It always looks like he has a frown, but he is just serious. This shinobi will always be around when you need him; he has the same bunch of clothes that he wears every day. It seems as if he is glaring at you or at someone, but he is only looking around, analyzing every situation that passes by. His nose is a bit pointy and narrow but it fits him perfectly. He is average body mass, with a more on the muscle side. He is a healthy young boy as he grows to be stronger every day. Forehead Protector: On his forehead. Personality: A serious Shinobi, a man of a few words, and the silent type were the several things people would just say about him. People know that he doesn't talk much, or show any emotion most of the time, but they do know that he loves to battle. When people see him battle, his eyes are on fire. He usually doesn't say anything unless he needs to, as his voice is a bit deep. Nobody knows too much on his personal life. He works well in teams, and he knows that he has to protect his comrades. He doesn't like someone that shows off, or tries to be the better person the wrong way. When someone is in need of help, he will not pause for nothing. He will most of the time be the first one at the scene. He loves to help, but he doesn't say much. He feels that talking is not really needed in most situations. For the most part he is a gentle kind quiet person that’s doesn't judge anyone.
He loves to protect, as if he lives by protecting people, and he is the generous type as well. He would help others before helping himself, because he knows that he is fine and he will figure out what he needs to do after he helps others. He loves to train to get stronger and get respect in his home village. The Hyuuga boy always trains his eyes in order to see further, watch things closely, and pinpoint small objects. He is always training but for some reason he does not train on the same thing for more than two days. He always is meditating trying to find new answers about himself and others and within the nature as well. Due to being a Hyuuga, he has so much pride for his clan. He wouldn't say a word, but if someone were to talk bad about the clan he wouldn't think twice to confront the person. If the boy's silent confrontation did not work, then his few words would make his point across. He loves his clan with all his heart, and he proudly shows it off. He respects his parents and always attends to any meeting that is mandatory. His clansmen respect him, and love him like family. They trained with him almost all the time. They see him as a gifted child. Rukasu is the type of person to do things for other people more than anything for himself. Clan: Hyuuga Nindo: ............
THE NINJA. Origin: Hi no Kuni Affiliation: Konohagakure Rank: C - Rank Genin Specialties: Taijutsu, Fuuinjutsu Elemental Affinities: Suiton, Raiton Combat Style:- Spoiler:
Name: Jūken | Gentle Fist Style Clan: Hyuuga Emphasis: The Jūken emphasizes light high speed attacks that inflicts internal damage and disrupt the body's Chakra Pathway System to ultimately inhibit and an opponent's use of chakra as well as causing severe internal damage. Requirements: Must have the Byakugan (Activated) Description: The Gentle Fist (柔拳, Jūken) or Gentle Fist Style (柔拳法, Jūkenpō) is a form of hand-to-hand combat used by members of the Hyūga clan. It inflicts internal damage and disrupt the body's Chakra Pathway System so as to ultimately inhibit an opponent's use of chakra. To do this, the user surgically injects a small amount of their own chakra into an opponent's chakra pathway system. The infiltrating chakra can then be used to disrupt or divert chakra flow, preventing them from using jutsu.Targeting the Tenketsu can enhance the havoc and control a Jūken user can impose upon an opponent's chakra network. These special nodes, 361 in total, are key gate-keeping interceptions in the chakra circulatory network, thus forcibly opening or sealing them in whatever manner the Jūken-user sees fit is a powerful tactical option to have. Harming the chakra network in this way can directly damage internal organs due to their proximity to the chakra circulatory system. Even the slightest tap can cause severe internal damage, hence the name "gentle" fist.
Special Characteristics: Chakra Capacity
- Spoiler:
Name: Increased Chakra Capacity Rank: C Type: Chakra Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: Through extensive meditation and physical training the ninja's chakra capacity increases by 20CP.
Improved Speed
- Spoiler:
Name: Improved Speed Rank: C Type: Physical Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The first level in the art of speed accessible to those who have undergone intense training in high speed movement. The possessor of this talent has an increased speed of 20% which makes them slightly faster. They can cross distances quicker than others would expect and outrun others with little effort.
THE BACKGROUND. History: Pre-birth/Early life Arc Ryu Uzumaki was a well-known shinobi that everyone respected and looked up to. All the women wanted him, but for some reason he showed no interest in any of them expect for one girl that caught his eye since they were kids. They became best friends after Ryu helped her from a couple of bullies that were pushing here around has to her difference in her appearance. There was nothing wrong with her; she was just born different than most kids. She came from the Hyuuga family, and her name was Misaki Hyuuga, she has white eyes and long black hair. Since that day their friendship started and every day after that it grew more and more.
Twenty years later their friendship was very strong, actually they were both in love with each other. They both were too afraid to let that other person know how they felt about each other. Until one day Ryu was about to leave on an important mission, at the time Ryu was a Jounin, and it was an S-ranked mission. Ryu knew that this could be his last mission only because of the risk of entering enemy territory. It wasn't going to be alone, as he was accompanied by two other Jounin. For some reason they both had a sick feeling to their stomachs, as if this would be the last time they would ever see each other. They held each other in their arms crying, as they both couldn't hold it in their hearts no longer as they both back their heads to look at each other's eyes...
"I love you." they both say to each other as they both were shocked that it came out, and then Ryu went in for the kiss as she kissed him back.
"Promise me you will return safely, for us." Misaki said as he was crying and she couldn't look at the person she love no more as she quickly turned around, but Ryu grabbed her arm and looked into her eyes, kissed her once more...
"I can’t promise, but I will make it a more than a promise. My heart is with you now, so please hold it against your heart, and I will return for both you and my heart soon. I love you." Ryu said as they hugged once more, and then he was off.
Rukasu's Birth Arc It did take Ryu a while for him to complete the mission, but he did so perfectly. He was then headed back to the village and the two love birds got married and they had a little boy. The little boy had short black hair and black eye brows, but he had his mother genetics, and that was the Hyuugas white eyes. The two were so happy to have their first child, after an hour of deciding names; they both knew that the perfect name would be Rukasu Uzumaki. His father wanted his child to be different so after his chilled grew his hair longer, he ended up dying it red. He did this so that he would be remembered and stand out easily. People from the clan did not approve of this as they tried to dye his hair black. They also tried to shave it off. Ryu would always protect his child, no matter what they tried. This happened for many years.
Academy Arc Ten years later the boy had grew up to be a smart, well mannered, understanding, and he was already finishing his academy classes. He was preparing to become a genin, as he was very excited He was one of the smart kids in his class, and he was friends with the whole group. He was actually quite popular with his guy friends and the girls adored him. The people from the Hyuuga clan were spying on him as they usually would until one of the Jounin Hyuuga appeared in front of Rukasu. Rukasu looked at the shinobi knowing that he came from the same reason since he was born. The Jounin wanted to challenge the young boy. It wasn't a challenge of a battle, but it was a test on if he can work the fighting style of the Hyuuga. Rukasu accepted the challenge, as the Jounin first formed a hand seal as a shadow clone appeared in front of Rukasu as the clone went into his fighting stance. Rukasu knew what to do as he formed a hand seal, as the shinobi was in a bit of a confusion as he knew what Rukasu was doing. This confusion was because at the age Rukasu was, well he wasn't or shouldn't be able to perform that move. After Rukasu yelled Byakugan, as his eyes change, then he went into the fighting stance. Then after three seconds the clone burst into a cloud of smoke. The Jounin was shocked, and he knew that the whole clan was watching from afar as they too were using their byakugan. That’s when the whole clan made it official that this boy was a gifted child.
Genin Arc After couple of months he graduated and became a genin. He was only 10 about to turn 11, so he was very excited to be one of the few youngest to graduate. Also he was already put into a team and already doing mission, he also learned a lot of jutsu from both his mom, and he notice his father using fuuinjutsu so he studied fuuinjutsu in the academy. Rukasu never really talked but he usually studied most of the time. He learned about the juken style and he also learns about the seals and what they represent and the meaning of each seal. He learned almost everything about it, so much that he learns jutsus that would benefit him in the future. Due to his Chakra nature he was able to do the Sealing jutsus with ease. Present Arc Four years later at the age of 14, he practiced every day and trained to his full potential. At the moment he is looking for people to spar with and see how much strong he is against other genins. He did everything he needed to do for his family, clan, and friends. Rukasu made it clear that would never put his family over his Clan. The boy is doing missions and hanging out with friends. He is still studying more, as he understands more about life as a shinobi. Rukasu had set his goals and now he is pursuing them.
Roleplay Sample: In a dark night where everyone was usually asleep, and the animals of the night were not bothering anyone. A shinobi was on a roof top looking at the moon as the shinobi was in wonder, as he knew that soon he had to show the world who he really was and what he could already do. It was quiet and he this shinobi did know what to do. So the shinobi ended up walking the streets as he was a bit bored and he wanted something fun to do, only because he could not sleep. After a while of walking the shinobi notice something strange at the end of the road. It was a black figure, so the shinobi went after it. He did not know what he was going to get himself into as he chased after it. Once the shinobi turned the corner it was gone, in confusion the shinobi was in, but within seconds the black figure appeared behind the shinobi holding a knife to his neck. The shinobi knew that he was in trouble and he had to act quickly, so he pushed back, duck to the ground, and quickly turning around punching the person in the gut, and then he went and grabbed his neck. Once the light hit the two, and the shinobi notice that it was, well they both laughed. It was his brother playing a prank on him. So they both laughed as they walked home to go to sleep.
Last edited by Rukasu on Wed 24 Oct 2012, 10:16 am; edited 11 times in total |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Sat 20 Oct 2012, 5:57 am | |
| THE ARSENAL.
- Academy:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
- Byakugan:
Name: Byakugan (Activation) Rank: E-S Type: Bloodline - Doujutsu Range: Description Clan: Hyuuga Description: Byakugan "White Eye" is a dōjutsu kekkei genkai of the Hyūga clan. This technique is the activation of the ability from the eyes previous dormant state. When activated the users lavender eyes become more focused, their pupils become more distinct, and the veins near their temples bulge. Byakugan gives the user a near 360º field of vision, except for one small blind spot at the back of the neck above the third thoracic vertebra. The second ability is being able to see through solid objects, and can use a degree of telescopic sight. The user is able to see into vasts distances in which a regular eye cannot behold. They are capable of seeing insects behind trees with distinct perception and look behind wall with the Byakugan's ability. The third and one of the greatest uses of the Byakugan is the ability to see chakra, chakra flow as well as the chakra circulation system inside the body with great detail. It is from this particular ability that they are able to employ their ultimate attack style: Gentle Fist. It was also noted that the Byakugan can also discern a transformation and a real person using the eye's ability to see chakra, as well as barriers. The distance and the degree of telescopic sight varies from member to member. [C-Ranked] activation is able to see 50m in radius. [B-Ranked] activation is able to see 150m in radius. [A-Ranked] is able to extend 400m in radius. And finally [S-Ranked] is able to extend 900m in radius. Chakra Cost: 3CP per Post; A-rank 4CP per post; S-rank 5CP per post.
- Natural Jutsu:
Name: Gentle Fist Rank: E-S Type: Taijutsu Clan: Hyuuga Description: This is the base fighting style the Hyuuga learns at an early age, which emphasis the abilities of their Byakugan which allows them to see chakra networks. This is an advanced fighting style which is difficult to learn and requires much practice and dedication to master. This technique allows the user to passively seal a persons Tenki points upon physical contact, thus slowly depleting their chakra in the process. 3CP will be depleted with each successful attack from the user, no matter how minimal it is. Because the chakra network and human system are so aligned, while depleting a persons tenki points the user also causes severe internal pain upon the contacted area. Technique does not apply to jutsu.
- Hyuuga Jutsu:
Name: Hiratehi-ru Dageki | Palm Heel Strike Rank: D Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m) Description: Hiratehi-ru Dageki is a very base technique performed by the members of the Hyuuga Clan. This attack consists of a quick, precise thrust of the users' palm to an opponent's body. If the jutsu strikes at dead center, it may can thrust the enemy back a couple of meters. Chakra Cost: 3CP
Name: Chakura Hari no Jutsu | Chakra Needle Technique Rank: D Type: Taijutsu - Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Description: Chakura Hari no Jutsu is a common technique performed by the members of he Hyuuga Clan. After focusing chakra outside the body, the chakra is formed into visible needles which can be propelled at the user's target. By using Byakugan, this technique can be used to hit very small targets, such as bees etc. This attack can also be used to attack a persons chakra network by performing accurate shots into their chakra system. It these needles exceed the range, they disappear. 4 needles make be made at one time using this jutsu. Chakra Cost: 4CP
Name: Hakke Kūshō | Eight Trigrams Empty Palm Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Description: Hakke Kūshō is a technique performed by members of the Hyuuga Clan. This technique is similar in practice to Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin, but has a specific target rather than a general area. To perform it, the user precisely pinpoints the enemy's vital points with the Byakugan and releases a high-speed palm thrust. A "vacuum shell" compressed using the Gentle Fist is formed to violently push the opponent away a few meters. Chakra Cost: 7CP
Name: Hakkeshō Kaiten | Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m ~ 5m) Description: Chakra Cost: Hakkeshō Kaiten is a technique performed by members of the Hyuuga Clan. A Taijutsu technique unique to the Hyuuga bloodline using the Jyuuken. Kaiten is a special technique passed down through the main family line. Kaiten takes advantage of several of the unique abilities of the Byakugan eye. Byakugan gives the clan member an almost complete 360 degree view of their surroundings. This allows the member to see all angles of attack. If an attack is near, the clan member will release a large of amount of chakra from their tenketsu. The member then begins to spin like a top, creating a whirling vortex that can nullify almost any attack. Chakra Cost: 8CP
Name: Hakke Sanjūni Shō | Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Clan: Hyuuga Description: Eight Trigrams Thrity-Two Palms is a technique performed by the members of the Hyuuga Clan. When an opponent is within the clan members divination field of attack, they can quickly begin their assault. The technique allows the clan member to use the Byakugan eye to see the inner chakra coils system. Using the Jyuuken style, they can force their chakra through their hands into the tenketsu of the opponent's body through 32 strikes. First the clan member will strike 2 times, then 4, 8, 16, and finally 32. This damage forcibly closes 32 tenketsu, slowing the chakra flow of the opponent. Those who fall victim of this technique will consume 25% more chakra per jutsu for 2 posts. C-ranked ninja may find it difficult to avoid this attack, though higher ranked ninja may interrupt it by evading if skillful enough. Chakra Cost: 8CP
- Fuuinjutsu:
Name: Chozou no Jutsu (Storage Technique) Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1CP to seal, and 1CP to unseal
Name: Gofuu Kekkai - Five Seal Barrier Rank: C Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Element: N/A Description: The five "kin" (prohibition) seals act together to form a barrier. To remove the barrier, all five tags must be removed at the same moment. They don't all have to be lumped together; being able to be at least a good hundred meters apart Chakra Cost: 8
Name: Shikoku Fuuin - Finger Engraving Seal Rank: C Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: The user concentrates chakra into their finger and using the heat from that can apply writing on whatever they want. This allows them to write on the skin of animals, iron plates, or a wide range of things. Must be delicate with chakra control when using this technique. If used on flesh; will scar. Chakra Cost: 6 (2 per post)
- Non-Elemental Jutsu:
Name: Chakra Kyuuin Jutsu - Chakra Absorption Technique Rank: C-S Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: After activitating the technique, the user's hand will glow with chakra. When he or she touches his or her palm on his or her opponents body, the user can withdraw the physical and spiritual energy out of them. By reducing their chakra, it greatly increases the user’s advantage over his or her opponent. Chakra Cost: Costs the User: C (5) | Takes From Target: D (4) Costs the User: B (10) | Takes From Target: C (9) Costs the User: A (20) | Takes From Target: B (15) Costs the User: S (35) | Takes From Target: A (25)
- Konoha Specific techniques:
Name: Burēdo no Ha - Blades of Leaves Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0 - 5m) Element: - Description: Burēdo no Ha is a ninjutsu technique utilizing leaves. By using the leaves that are scattered across the ground in the surrounding five metre radius, the user is able to lift ten leaves by using chakra alone and launch them at their opponent. If contact is made, the intended target will suffer from small scratches that the leaves have to offer. The technique will only be able to lift ten leaves at a time, it's also not strong enough to kill, only to scratch the flesh to the point of blood being drawn. Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Sennen Goroshi - One Thousand Years of Death Rank: D Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m) Element: - Description: Though it is called "Leaf's Ancient Supreme Technique", Sennen Goroshi serves more as an insulting shock technique rather than a skilled Taijutsu technique. The ninja forms their hands into the seal of the tiger, and then jabs their fingers into the nether regions of their target. The result is shocking violation of the targets sanctity and often their launching in the air to stop the awkward feeling. Chakra Cost: 3
Name: Chimei-teki Fera - Fatal Blow Rank: C Type: Taijutsu Range: Close (0m) Element: - Description: Chimei-teki Fera is a taijutsu technique. After charging a small amount of chakra towards the dominant leg, the user will try to use their speed and strength so that they can perform a sideways kick to the opponents ribcage. In order for direct contact to be made the shin, where most of the chakra is stored, will hit the centre of the ribcage forcing a shock wave of pain to make it's way across the body. If the technique is performed correctly, they will be able to force their opponent to the ground and possibly even stop them from being able to stand back up. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: Ha no Bakuhatsu - Leaf Explosion Rank: C Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: Close (0m) Element: - Description: Ha no Bakuhatsu is a fuuinjutsu technique. After gathering several leaves, the user is able to place a seal on these leaves so that when they are stood on an explosion will erupt from the leaves. The explosion is on the same scale as an explosive tag, the way it differs though is that the leaves are able to blend in with the background unnoticed. Since any leaf can have this seal, all the user has to do is place them upside down so the seal can't be seen and watch the traps trigger. Doujutsu users or chakra sensing ninja are still able to detect these explosives though for they carry a concentrated amount of chakra within them, due to this concentration they are also twice the size to the original size of the leaves, though you need a sharp eye to notice this. Chakra Cost: 8
- Genin Kit:
Name: Genin Kit Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: His name is Kiyoshi Source: DeviantArt Image URL: Here you go...
Last edited by Rukasu on Wed 24 Oct 2012, 11:41 am; edited 5 times in total |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Sat 20 Oct 2012, 8:02 am | |
| Just to inform you guys, I am finished, but please do not jump into conclusions. My character is a hyuuga, he does not carry anything from the uzumaki clan, but the name and hair color. My character studied fuuinjutsu on his own time while at the academy. My character is a full hyuuga. PLease put this post into consideration...
Thank you... |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Mon 22 Oct 2012, 10:29 pm | |
| Honestly I dont think my character should change his name, only because its just a name and it doesn't affect anything.
Would it be better if I put, Rukasu Hyuuga Uzumaki, So its showing the full name of this shinobi. Please The name is just a name and its his father's name. I really want to have it the way I do.
|
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:48 pm | |
| Aight I did add Hyuuga to the name, can that be acceptable?
|
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 12:15 am | |
| Why do you want Uzumaki as part of your name? If you had chosen just a normal random surname this would be fine, but you are choosing a name from another clan. I don't understand... |
| | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 12:40 am | |
| - TOPKite wrote:
- Why do you want Uzumaki as part of your name? If you had chosen just a normal random surname this would be fine, but you are choosing a name from another clan. I don't understand...
Furthermore you need to elaborate as to why you are the red flash. |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 1:19 am | |
| Ok Hear it is, I love the Uzumaki because it sounds better than just being a hyuuga. I promise that I am not going anywhere near the Uzumaki clan. I would just like to have the name, and plus I put in my history that Rukasu's Father is in the Uzumaki Clan, so Usually in the real world the wife and kid after marrage gets the father's last name. So I would greatly appriciate it. Rukasu was born with red hair nd brows but he had white eyes. He took upon the hyuuga side and thats why he is a Hyuuga by blood and an Uzumaki by heart.
About the red flash, well later in my character future he will become very fast, so fast that it will be blinding speed. I know that would take some time, but It will happen to be the fastest hyuuga alive.
I hope that clears things up... |
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 1:47 am | |
| Fine you can have the name but if you want to use the Hyuuga's Byakugan you need to realize that you inherited more of your mother's genese than your father's so your hair would actually be black in color. |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 3:23 am | |
| but the hyuuga looks better in red... Why make this so difficult, im just saying.. I am following the rules and I dont want to desrespect anyone...
Wait! how about black and red hair? I will edit the picture and make it have red some where, would that be accceptable? or can i just leave it red... |
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 3:42 am | |
| Well I suppose you could say you dyed it red? |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 4:15 am | |
| Aight I added in the apperance second sentence that his father died Rukasu's hair... |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 7:24 am | |
| So can we come to an understanding on how we can do this. I really want to start role playing... |
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Tue 23 Oct 2012, 11:39 am | |
| I just want to say that this process would have gone a lot faster had you just cooperated with us from the start. But with that said here's my review of your character application.
Overall
First I want to say that over all I find this application very hard to read. It is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors that make it feel very choppy. I found myself struggling to read almost every section of your application. Taking some time to proof read your work and to make the appropriate edits would be greatly appreciated.
- Rukasu wrote:
- His hair was black but his fatger died it red so that people could see a difference in the boy.
Spelling mistake here.
- Rukasu wrote:
- under the shirt he wears the see through t-shirt.
Lack of proper capitalization here.
- Rukasu wrote:
- On his left arm is plain.
This statement doesn't make grammatical sense. It should either read "On his left arm there is nothing." or "His left arm is plain." In this instance the first statement is better.
- Rukasu wrote:
- When people try to talk to him he wont even utter a sound, but he will smile, showing the people that he had heard what they said and he was happy with they said.
This sentence is just a mess. First of all you don't use the appropriate apostrophe for the conjunction "won't". The next issue is then the use of "the people". In this instance it doesn't make much grammatical sense and is very jarring to the reader. You should use "the person" instead as it is more consistent with the rest of the sentence. The next issue is the usage of "had heard". While it is okay to use it, the tense of the phrase doesn't match with the rest of the sentence and thus makes it stick out. The tense should match the rest of the statement. Again for the final bit in italics, it is the same deal. The tense of the last part of this whole sentence is not the same as the start, giving the sentence an odd feeling.
These are just a few of the errors that made this application so difficult to read. I would really consider proofreading your work.
Appearance
The next issue I have is that in your appearance you state that you carry a gourd that is attached to your chain but fail to ever mention it again and as to why you carry a gourd on your back. The other thing is the chain. Though you say you use it in a fight, since you aren't a weaponry user you wouldn't likely be using a chain for actual combat seeing as you can't have it as a weapon.
The next thing is your height to weight ratio. You are saying that your character is 14 years old but hasn't managed to grow beyond four and a half feet? First of all that seems rather small for a 14 year old seeing as the average 14 year old boy is around five and a half feet. I know there are variations but you are talking nearly an entire foot under the average. That is fine if you want to be that short but then realize you wouldn't be anywhere near 120 pounds. At four feet and five inches, 120 pounds makes you huge. You would be considered a morbidly obese child, being close to 80 pounds overweight!
All in all I feel that your appearance, while somewhat lengthy needs to be checked for grammatical errors and even possibly have a tad more added to it in terms of detailing your character's actually appearance rather than talking about how he reacts to people.
Personality
The next thing is your personality. I will refer you to what I said about your appearance. There are plenty of spelling and grammatical errors that should be tackled here and as a result it was very difficult to read as the writing didn't flow. I also feel as though the section was a tad on the short side for a Hyuuga. While I can't really bar you from being accepted into the clan or having the application go through, it just seems like a member who wants to RP as a Hyuuga should have a bit more to say about their character's personality other than they are very very helpful and protective but have some "mysterious dark nature" that you failed to elaborate on.
History
First of all, on this site when you do a history, it's usually a good idea to try and break it up into arcs that correspond with the time you are talking about. Doing this helps to make more sense of your character's history. Basically having a "Pre-birth/Early life" arc and an "Academy Years" arc and a "Genin Years" arc would be wonderful. The arcs don't have to be those exactly since those were just examples, but something akin to those would be nice. The next thing is the grammar issue. Once again I found it hard to really make it through your history. Proof reading and making corrections would help with that. That being said, your history needs to be longer. At this point it is very very small.
Miscellaneous
I didn't feel the other issues were worthy of having their own section so I just will throw out the little nitpicks here:
- Your "Origin" should not be Konohagakure. Your "Origin" is always the country your character was born in. In this case it would be Fire Country or "Hi no Kuni".
- While it may not seem like a big deal now, you might want to go ahead and pick two elemental affinities as you can't simply add them later down the road without going through a tedious training program. Simply add them now and save yourself a headache because when it comes time for you to start learning basic ninjutsu or when you want to acquire a summon, those affinities might help. Also Fuuinjutsu and taijuts can make use of chakra elements.
- Figure out your face claim. It's not acceptable to simply put "Unknown". Do some research.
- In the section where it asks for your clan name, please link your clan instead of merely writing the name.
- The nick name needs to either be explained well or removed. I understand you want it down the road but for now your character is not known as "The Red Flash".
- You have room for one more jutsu. You get 15 for free at creation and if I counted correctly, you only have 14.
- You can't start with a custom kit at creation. You have to select the genin kit.
That's all I can see for now, though this list is not final incase I may have missed something. Make the corresponding edits and please don't harass staff on the Cbox or via PM to check your application. Simply bump it here ONCE and if a few days go by and no one has gotten to it then post in the appropriate thread, here. |
| | | Rukasu
Age : 33 Posts : 510
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Wed 24 Oct 2012, 12:00 pm | |
| To the Moderators of this site,
First off, I would like to say sorry, for me being stubborn, I greatly appreciate the work you done. It helps me a lot.
This is my BUMP, the rest of the text notifies you what I fixed/changed...
I fixed everything you asked me to fix step by step. I am bad at grammer and I usually mispell words wrong, but the solution to that was coping the text and bringing to either a grammer checking site or Microsoft word. I added one jutsu in the Konohagakure specific techniques. I added to the face claim. I also added more to most of it. I also changed the genin kits. So please check my work, I assure you it is all good..
- TOPkite wrote:
- •While it may not seem like a big deal now, you might want to go ahead and pick two elemental affinities as you can't simply add them later down the road without going through a tedious training program. Simply add them now and save yourself a headache because when it comes time for you to start learning basic ninjutsu or when you want to acquire a summon, those affinities might help. Also Fuuinjutsu and taijuts can make use of chakra elements.
Out of the whole thing, I dont understand the bolded part of this quote, may you please elaborate about that. |
| | | Kite
Age : 34 Posts : 1209
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Wed 24 Oct 2012, 11:53 pm | |
| Basically what I was saying about chakra elements was that Fuuinjutsu and taijutsu can use elemental techniques so it was in your best interest to start off with elements. You put them down so it's all good.
Approved 1/2 |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| | | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Uzumaki, Hyuuga Rukasu [Konoha Genin] Sun 14 Apr 2013, 4:21 pm | |
| Archived. Due to inactivity.
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