Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin]

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Daedalus
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PostSubject: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyWed 16 Jan 2013, 3:07 pm

Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Time-Hollow-DS-02

Akimichi, Shiromaru

THE INFO.

Name: Akimichi, Shiromaru
Nickname: Shiro,
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Appearance:

Like all members of the Akimichi clan, Shiro is very bulky and rounded. The majority of the fat he has built up over the years is stored in his gut and thighs with a small bit seeping into his chin and cheeks. His stomach, if he were to remove his shirt, is covered with stretchmarks that reach about a third of the way to his chest. His bellybutton appears to be a large hole in his stomach. His belly extends outwards and dips over his waistline to the point where he can pick up his stomach. His chest however is a different story. Rather than being rounded and having "manboobs" his chest is surprisingly defined and while not extremely muscled, is more squared and muscular than one would expect. His arms share this trait and have farm more muscle on them than fat. However, he still has a mild case of flabby arms. His legs however, were not so lucky as his thighs are quite swollen with fat. Most of it has built up on the front end of his legs and extend outwards before pinching tight at the knees and extending outwards behind him a bit.

Shiro has quite a plump face, a staple of the clan, with large cheeks and a near double chin which, if he pulls his head back enough, becomes a full double chin. His nose is rather small and his eyes round, rather than the usual narrow eyes of the clan. This, along with their light blue colour he inherited from his mother, whom married into the clan. His hair however is a light brown and has a natural sheen to it like his fathers. However he likes to keep it cut short and under his bandana. However some strands do manage to escape and poke out in random directions from underneath. On his cheeks, he bears the usual markings of the Akimichi clan, his marks being two different coloured lightning bolts. On his left cheek, the bolt is red while the right is blue.

For clothing, Shiro prefers light fitting and simple. His favourite kind of shirt being a simple white t-shirt with no prior markings or insignia. This allows him to brand it with his clan's logo anywhere he sees fit and can choose them for whichever occasion he pleases. He also possess shirts of other colours but prefers to keep them solid and unmarked as his usual attire. They too all bear the brand of the Akimichi somewhere on them. His favourite spot for the mark is directly over the center of his chest. Overtop his shirt, he can most often be seen wearing a large black coat. The coat is solid black and bears no markings, not even that of the Akimichi clan. The fabric is fuzzy and very elastic to the point where even as an adult the coat will fit him nice and loosely. The interior trim along the zipper and collar are the only locations where a colour other than black can be found. There, the fabric is a dark gray. There are zippers on the waist pockets.

When it comes to pants, a similar philosophy to his shirts is Shiro's favourite option. Preferring light fitting shorts or jeans depending on the season with their colours ranging from black to light blue. Most often though, he wears a light brown pair of long shorts. They have deep pockets on the side as well as two back pockets and an adjustable waistband. Over his stomach and waist, he wears a thick white piece of cloth tied in the front. The cloth when unraveled is 3m long and 20 cm wide.

For his equipment, he keeps two pouches, a main one attached at the back right side of his waist where he keeps his larger supplies such as scrolls and explosive tags while keeping a smaller pouch tied to his right leg. Inside it are a couple kunai and shuriken. He also always carries around a large shoulder bag filled with various non-perishable snacks. The bag is a light brown and made of a light, but strong material with several small pockets on the front, a slot for water bottles and a pull over top. The Akimichi symbol is branded onto this bag.

Finally, his protector is worn on his head, rather than having it attached to a headband though, it's attached to a bandana that covers his hair almost completely. The protector itself has a large gash in it, cutting through the symbol of the leaf, but bears marks of minor restoration in that area.

Forehead Protector: On his forehead, attached to his bandana.

Personality:

Rather quiet and somewhat shy, Shiro is the kind of person who doesn't like to draw too much attention to himself. Preferring to sit quietly in the back while others talk, he was overlooked by the majority of the students during his academy days and bullied by the few who noticed. While he was able to eventually make friends, the experience did take it's toll on him. He is very hesitant to state his own opinions, often following whatever it is the leader of the group says or just agreeing with whatever the person next to him is saying. He is the first to apologize and the first to offer to help, even if the situation was no fault of his own. Around his close friends however, he is more open and outgoing. He still suffers from his low self-esteem, but if he's known a person for some time, he will be a little more assertive. Oddly enough, while one might think that his confidence issues stem from his weight, that is not the case. Shiro takes pride in his girth and feels no shame when ridiculed for it. In his mind, it is his proud heritage and one of the few things he will defend.

While mostly quiet, there are a two things that Shiro will speak up for and defend. The first, as previously mentioned, is his weight and more specifically, the image that his clan holds within the village as well as the world at large. His pride in his clan stems from his respect for his late brother Tatsuya and in his mind, any insults to him or his clan is an insult to Tatsuya and his memory. The other, while seeming cliche, is the defense of his friends. Having few truly close friends, deep down Shiro fears losing them as he lost Tatsuya and will defend them tooth and nail. While in the former case he will call out people insulting him, in the latter he is far more likely to come to blows. Granted, he will not immediately assault people, if the attacks are verbal in nature it takes a lot to get Shiro to throw the first punch. But he will not hold back should the threat of violence even remotely appear.

When fights do begin, Shiro knows his role well. He is the muscle, his job is to protect his allies through any means necessary while zoning out the most dangerous opponents with his sheer power. He doesn't talk much with his opponents, mostly just roaring at them as a means of intimidation and only speaking when needed to communicate with his allies. Should the fight be due to his previously mentioned peeves, or they are brought up during the fight, he will strongly demand for the accuser to withdraw their comments and will single out the worst offender. This can sometimes be to the detriment of his team if Shiro goes over the edge and forgets himself in rage.

Shiro, unlike most other ninja, does not have a specific dream for the future. While many choose to become ninja to prove something, to become stronger, revenge or any of the other myriad of reasons there are, his choice to become a shinobi was born to simply help his parents. After the death of his brother, the two had fallen into a deep depression. Unable to bear their sorrow any longer, he decided to leave behind Shiro and become Tatsuya in their hearts. He knew he could never replace his brother, but once his training began, he noticed a rejuvenation in his father. Sadly they still have not been the same since their loss, he continues to train and further his career as a shinobi in order to live up to the short legacy his brother left behind.

Clan: Akimichi

Nindō: My brother gave his life for this village. It's about time I do so as well.

THE NINJA.

Origin: Land of Fire

Affiliation: Konoha

Rank: Genin

Specialties: Main: Taijutsu | Sub: Ninjutsu

Elemental Affinities: Main: Lightning | Sub: Earth

Combat Style:

As a member of the Akimichi clan, Shiro's primary fighting style revolves around his ability to overwhelm his opponents with sheer force and power through his multi-size techniques. Shiro's primary strategy when fights begin is to charge onto the front lines, using himself as cover for his allies, he will seek out the opponent whom seems to be weakest physically and charge them down. With this, he will either force the hand's of their allies to cover their weaker teammate, or break said member off from their group. He is extremely confident in one on one encounters at close range and enjoys when opponents assume he is weak because of his size.

To supplement his strength in taijutsu, Shiro is also talented with lightning based ninjutsu and has learned various techniques that allow him to better close gaps on his enemies and strength his taijutsu skills. Most commonly using jutsu to create an electrical barrier around himself and to strengthen his attacks with charges of electricity, it makes it extremely difficult for his enemies to counterattack should he be able to close the distance between them. However he has realized his weakness to long ranged enemies and is currently working on ninjutsu so he can at least defend himself at medium ranges.

While confident in his close combat skills, there is one area where Shiro lacks heavily in. As he prefers to use powerful strikes to crush his opponents with a single blow, his strikes are often large and can leave him open to counterattacks. A nimble opponent that can evade his attacks and take advantage of these openings is potentially a far greater enemy than any long range specialist against Shiro.

Special Characteristics:
Spoiler:

THE BACKGROUND.

History:

Early Life:

- Born into the Akimichi clan. His father a member of the Konoha task force, but low ranking in the clan itself. His mother was the heiress of a flowershop in the downtown area of Konoha. He also had an elder brother by the name of Tatsuya whom was training to enter the academy in a few years.

- Brother enters the academy when Shiro is 3. Shiro himself shows little interest in learning the ways of a ninja and works with his mother while his father and brother train.

- Tatsuya graduates the academy and becomes a genin when Shiro is 5.

- At age 6, the village is raided by several enemy jonin. Tatsuya is caught in the crossfire when trying to evacuate citizens from a burning building and is killed. Shiro's parent's fall into depression.

- When Shiro turned 7, he asked his father to begin training him. Though initially turned away, his father eventually gives in and begins to train Shiro. It is extremely difficult as he had to spend several months simply bulking up as he was rather thin for an Akimichi.

- On his 9th birthday, Shiro is accepted into the academy, a year older than when his brother was accepted.

Academy Days:

- Shiro is the target of ridicule from most of the other students. As there were few Akimichi members of his age, he was the only one admitted to the academy for his year.

- About a month into his lessons, he found a group of students who did not mind his appearance and saw him for whom he really was.

- Shiro excels in ninjutsu and taijutsu classes, but falls noticeably short in genjutsu.

- The first graduation exam rolls around, two of his friends pass but Shiro does not.

- The second graduation exam comes and the rest of his friends graduate, leaving Shiro alone.

- Shiro goes back to his father to receive extra training lessons.

- Shiro passes the third exam.

- Upon being given his forehead protector, Shiro asks to use his brothers but is denied because the symbol of Konoha has been damaged.

- Shiro takes the protector home and finds a blacksmith.

- Shiro asks again if he can use the protector, the symbol restored but still bearing heavy damage, the elders see his devotion in it and agree.

Present Day:

- Shiro trains daily with his father, trying to learn the ways of the Akimichi and of the side of his brother he never knew.

- Without a team, he has been denied missions so far. Shiro is anxious to finally learn who will be in his squad.

Roleplay Sample:
Spoiler:
THE ARSENAL.

Jutsu:

Academy:

Spoiler:

Taijutsu:
Spoiler:

Ninjutsu:
Spoiler:

Clan Jutsu:
Spoiler:

Items:

Spoiler:

Summon:

Spoiler:

FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim: Ethan Kairos
Source: Time Hollow
Image URL: http://www.ndszone.com/wp-content/uploads/games/Time-Hollow-DS-02.jpg


Last edited by Daedalus on Sat 02 Feb 2013, 2:25 am; edited 40 times in total
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Kiseki
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyWed 16 Jan 2013, 11:38 pm

You need more appearance Personality and Combat style. Edit your title to say

Code:
Souansha, Kenta [Konogakure Genin]

Your origin is a country not a village although this is a nitpick.
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CleverYamanaka
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptySat 19 Jan 2013, 10:03 pm

Quote :
Name: Seiteki Tacchi | Static Touch
How severe is this numbness? I would assume that, because of the jutsu's rank, you could still move the effected area, correct?

Quote :
Name: Boulder Bola
The ability to manipulate and use roots like you have it in this jutsu sounds a lot like a Senju ninjutsu, not purely an earth jutsu.

Quote :
Name: Tanken Ishi | Stone Shrapnel
You mention "stones and other solid debris." This is a doton ninjutsu, meaning it should only be able to manipulate and control earthen substances; so just clarify that much and we'll be good. Also, if it is possible, can you give us a picture as to how much is being controlled here, and at what speed?

Quote :
Name: Ishitate | Stone Shield
This also uses the roots, which falls under the Senju clan's abilities. You cannot manipulate vines and/or roots into the place of a shield without being able to manipulate the roots as well. Perhaps change that, and I think you'll be good on those jutsu.
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Daedalus
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyTue 22 Jan 2013, 8:30 pm

Okay basically redid the entire thing.
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Emperor of Rock
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyThu 24 Jan 2013, 1:43 pm

You have to choose two categories out of three for weaponry.

Right now you have 10 jutsus and you can start with 15.

Quote :
Name: Konsetsuzoku | Soul Linker
I'm kind of iffy on this one because, while you do say that it's mostly used with allies, nothing stops you from using it on opponents. So I would like you to make it so that the target of this jutsu must allow you to use it on him/her.

Quote :
Name: Taiyouken | Solar Blade
All the jutsus must have chakra cost. I know it's only using the sword as a mirror to blind the enemy, but you can do that easily by just saying so in the post, granted, if there is sun.

Quote :
Name: Shintou Bakuha | Concussive Blast
To use this jutsu you need to have a B or higher ranked weapon as only those allow you to channel chakra through them.

Quote :
Name: Raikou Kei Enchou | Lightning Whip
Same thing as above.

You can have only 2 C ranked weapons and you have 4. Please remove 2.

You can't have poison because you don't have Medical or Puppetry speciality.

As for kunais, shuriken and such, copy and paste the genin kit that can be found in the encyclopedia.
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Daedalus
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Daedalus

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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyThu 24 Jan 2013, 7:57 pm

Ugh, I'll just redo it again.
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Daedalus
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Daedalus

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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 2:44 am

Freaking (re)done.
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MsMoney
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyThu 31 Jan 2013, 3:06 pm



  • Your personality is -very- small and needs to have around two more paragraphs added. (note that a paragraph is about 250 - 300 words). Your appearance is looking very good, so I see you wont have problems with this Smile

  • Your combat style could use a little more adding to. Nothing overly much, maybe elaborated a bit more on his weakness in combat.

  • Please bold the template for the academy jutsu.

  • If I counted correctly, you only have 13 jutsu but you can start with 15. Just a reminder, as it is not mandatory.

  • The village name + rank of your character are missing from the topic's name.

  • Name: Kyousei Tsumei | Great Claw
    Just how deep into the flesh can you tear? And I have a small issue with this, as it would seem the Chakra would just make the punch stronger.. but using the fingers as claws might be usable if you explain it a bit more to me.

  • Name: Seiteki Uwabari | Static Coat
    Just how much damage exactly does it do? And does it stun the opponent or make him numbed in the area affected? And if so, then for how long?

    Also reword the beginning a bit, so it wont seem like he is first only coating himself with Chakra before adding the lightning element. If you would word it like that, you might be implying that the Chakra itself could hold some potentials there for other use than just adding the lightning.

    To coat his entire body in the lightning chakra seems a bit much for a C rank jutsu, and also you would need some maximum post duration and a cooldown.

  • Name: Raikou Heki | Lightning Burst
    Elaborated more on the damage that gets taken. Also, for how long can the dome be held? How many energy bolts can be shot forth? I also have an issue with a lightning technique of this rank being able to burn anyone.

    Also, how exactly does the dome work? Is there lightning shooting from it? Or is it just protecting the user, and damages whoever tries to touch it?

  • Name: Raikiri Yari | Lightning Spear
    This jutsu is far too powerful for a C rank one. It can easily kill with one hit, and that's a no no. Lessen it's damage, as it should not be able to travel through a human body.

  • Name: Seiteki Ryoukin | Static Charge
    I find this a bit iffy. More description is needed on how exactly the lightning element is stimulating the character, and also why he gets burned if holding it for too long. A speed improvement is also something that should be kept to an SC, but write a bit more on this and I will view it again.

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Daedalus
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Daedalus

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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyFri 01 Feb 2013, 1:31 am

Your personality is -very- small and needs to have around two more paragraphs added. (note that a paragraph is about 250 - 300 words). Your appearance is looking very good, so I see you wont have problems with this Smile

Done

Your combat style could use a little more adding to. Nothing overly much, maybe elaborated a bit more on his weakness in combat.

Done

Please bold the template for the academy jutsu.

Done

If I counted correctly, you only have 13 jutsu but you can start with 15. Just a reminder, as it is not mandatory.


Meh

The village name + rank of your character are missing from the topic's name.


Done

Name: Kyousei Tsumei | Great Claw
Just how deep into the flesh can you tear? And I have a small issue with this, as it would seem the Chakra would just make the punch stronger.. but using the fingers as claws might be usable if you explain it a bit more to me.


Removed

Name: Seiteki Uwabari | Static Coat
Just how much damage exactly does it do? And does it stun the opponent or make him numbed in the area affected? And if so, then for how long?

Also reword the beginning a bit, so it wont seem like he is first only coating himself with Chakra before adding the lightning element. If you would word it like that, you might be implying that the Chakra itself could hold some potentials there for other use than just adding the lightning.

To coat his entire body in the lightning chakra seems a bit much for a C rank jutsu, and also you would need some maximum post duration and a cooldown.


Fixed

Name: Raikou Heki | Lightning Burst
Elaborated more on the damage that gets taken. Also, for how long can the dome be held? How many energy bolts can be shot forth? I also have an issue with a lightning technique of this rank being able to burn anyone.

Also, how exactly does the dome work? Is there lightning shooting from it? Or is it just protecting the user, and damages whoever tries to touch it?

Name: Raikiri Yari | Lightning Spear
This jutsu is far too powerful for a C rank one. It can easily kill with one hit, and that's a no no. Lessen it's damage, as it should not be able to travel through a human body.

Name: Seiteki Ryoukin | Static Charge
I find this a bit iffy. More description is needed on how exactly the lightning element is stimulating the character, and also why he gets burned if holding it for too long. A speed improvement is also something that should be kept to an SC, but write a bit more on this and I will view it again.


Removed

Added some jutsu that Strange Ace gave me permission for.

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MsMoney
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptySat 02 Feb 2013, 12:17 am



  • Quote :
    To coat his entire body in the lightning chakra seems a bit much for a C rank jutsu
    ^ Make him rather coat at about half of his body, and it would be up to him at the time which half it would be.

    Also, just how big of an area of contact will be numbed on the opponent? If we are talking only the part that is touched (say that small area that the jutsu's user would touch, or only the fist of the opponent that had struck the coat) or if it would be the entire arm of the opponent if he were to touch the coat. If it's an entire limb, make the numbing last for 2 posts. If it's only that part which touches the user of the jutsu, then it's fine to leave it at 3 posts.

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Daedalus
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Daedalus

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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptySat 02 Feb 2013, 2:25 am

MsMoney wrote:


  • Quote :
    To coat his entire body in the lightning chakra seems a bit much for a C rank jutsu
    ^ Make him rather coat at about half of his body, and it would be up to him at the time which half it would be.

    Also, just how big of an area of contact will be numbed on the opponent? If we are talking only the part that is touched (say that small area that the jutsu's user would touch, or only the fist of the opponent that had struck the coat) or if it would be the entire arm of the opponent if he were to touch the coat. If it's an entire limb, make the numbing last for 2 posts. If it's only that part which touches the user of the jutsu, then it's fine to leave it at 3 posts.


Fixed
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MsMoney
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptySat 02 Feb 2013, 2:31 am

(1/2) approved.
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Kite
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptySat 02 Feb 2013, 11:30 pm

Looks fine to me. Good job and good luck.

Approved
2/2


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MsMoney
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] EmptyThu 02 Jan 2014, 8:05 pm

Archived. (Old character).
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Akimichi, Shiromaru [Konoha Chuunin] Vide
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