|
| Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] | |
| |
Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Tue 22 Jan 2013, 8:20 pm | |
| Aburame, EightTHE INFO. Name:Aburame, Eight Nickname: Age: Fifteen [15] Gender: Male Appearance: Like all Aburame, Eight is mysterious. In appearance and also in personality, lets start with his hair. Eight's hair naturally stick ups without the use of any products, it also follows the other males in family and is the colour black, this helps him blend into dark area's as many people won't be able to see the top of his head. But this is countered with his pale complexion and also his sunglasses as if a little light shines of his shades then he will be noticed. The glasses run in the family as all Aburame's wear them to keep their mysterious ego's up.
Eight's glasses are shaped like a rectangle, more longer in horizontal ways then diagonal ways. These glasses were passed down to him from his granddad just before his death from natural causes, because of this happening, he always keeps them on his face and rarely takes them off unless he is sleeping. He doesn't like his eyes as they are small and remind others of bugs. which spooks them out a little bit. Also he has a straight nose with small nostrils and his lips are quite thin. Eight has always wondered why the Aburame wear glasses, but he has never asked, therefore he has came up with his own theory. The Aburame wear glasses to make them mysterious just like the bugs that in-habit their bodies.
Going down to his attire, he wears a light blue shirt. This is quite a baggy shirt, so people often mistake it for a jacket, where in fact it is not. Due to the shirt being a lighter material then most jackets, this allows him to move easier and faster with hardly any weight on him, the long sleeves also mask where he is placing his bugs or if he is using them at all. Continuing down, Eight wears black shorts, that just go over his knees, this again makes his bugs harder to see, also it lets Eight move more freely which he is aiming for.
Wrapped around his leg is the everyday kunai pouch and then the shuriken pouch is located on his waist at the back. Then he just wears the average shinobi sandals, he wears the colour black as that is one of his favourite colours. Due to his mysterious look, many people just try to avoid him when walking down the road, Eight doesn't like this so much but he doesn't really mind as he has his own friends that he gets on very will with, also many people are very surprised when they find out that he is a genin of the village. Forehead Protector: Following the genin flow, the most seen place to put a protector is on the forehead. So thats what he does. Personality: Eight is quite a mysterious one out of the other shinobi from the village. Even if he is not as mysterious as his family members, he is still quite weird to the other genin that have been around him and talked to him. His mysterious side of him is that he does not let anyone know his weakness, where as many may seek help to strengthen their's, Eight keeps it to himself and thinks of a way to get around it, so he can solve the problem that he is having. He also doesn't let anyone know his strengths, this helps when coming into a fight, as his opponent has no dirt on him it means that people have to be weary of him and this may cause them to slip up due to the stress on their shoulders.
But as I said before, he is not as mysterious as his family. This is because un-like his family, Eight actually likes to have a laugh with his friends and team mates, this means that he can have a good time and actually show it to his friends making them feel more comfortable when around him. Eight hates to make people un-comfortable or awkward and this is why he likes to show his emotions to his friend, but this changes when in a fight. Instead of showing how he feels, he hides it really well so his enemy can not get one up on him.
Due to his family getting quite a lot of hassle due to their weirdly amazing clan ability, Eight is quite protective of his family and will try to scare someone if they dare try and take the mick out of them. This sometimes makes Eight hated due to his threats and sometimes he has got into a fight because of it, he never backs down because that shows weakness and that is one thing that he will never show. Also his love for his clan goes so far, that he wants to make a own district for the Aburame.
He likes to wonder the streets and look at different buildings getting a sight for everything and different kind of architecture. Sometimes he may jot them down on a small piece of paper so that he can remember what it looks like, he also loves to draw but mainly just draws different building ideas. Eight hates arrogant people and would gladly love to slap them around a little, but then again. He doesn't. Clan: Aburame Nindō: 'Theres always choice'
THE NINJA. Origin: Hi No Kuni Affiliation: Konohagkure Rank: Genin [C-Rank] Specialties: Main: Ninjutsu | Sub: Taijutsu Elemental Affinities: Main: Lightning [Raiton] |Sub: Earth [Doton] Combat Style: As his bugs are his main weapon in his arsenal. He usually uses them and due to their effectiveness from far range, that is what he tends to do, Eight usually uses his bugs to mask his appearance and also uses them to sneak up on the enemy which they won't be expecting. But don't get Eight wrong, if he has to get into taijutsu, he will. That is why he has taught himself in the art of hand to hand and in sometime soon, wishes to mix his bugs into it as well. This has never been done before but Eight is certain it will work, there is already a bug barrier but nothing involving bugs when hitting a person, he wants to change this.
Eight had always been good in far ranged ninjutsu since he was a little kid and it stayed that way through out his life, his dad taught him that way and that is basically the only way he knew how to fight, before a little while ago. As soon as he can, he wants to get them rare nano bugs that have been spreading around the clan, then he will be the best. Aburame's aren't very known to be close range, around the world they are known for their sneakiness and their amazing skill to get around un-seen. Eight wants to change this and show the world that they can actually deal some damage with their fists. Some may say this will un-balance the whole thing, but he knows that the Aburame are looked down on by other clans and he in-tends to do something about it. Special Characteristics:
- Spoiler:
Name: Improved Speed Rank: C Type: Physical Based Physical Requirements: N/A Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic. Description: The first level in the art of speed accessible to those who have undergone intense training in high speed movement. The possessor of this talent has an increased speed of 20% which makes them slightly faster. They can cross distances quicker than others would expect and outrun others with little effort.
THE BACKGROUND. History:
- Crawley Kid:
Born into the Aburame Clan household, Eight was named because he was born on the eighth month. As a baby he was put into the nest of kikaichu, he does not remember the sight, sound, smell but he does remember the feeling of his body being took over by bugs. After he the ceremony had finished, everything went back to normal, Eight grew up perfectly well and healthy, his father showed him all these neat tricks to do with the bugs but always reminded him not to play games with them. This is the main reason that Eight grew up being such a cheerful child, he was always told not to have fun and he always went against that and just let loose.
When he was around 7, Eight started making friends. Even if they did get freaked out a bit because he always seemed to wear shades and that he could control bugs, which most people were disgusted by, they still liked his presence. They did many games together, like hide and seek, which the other kids didn't know at the time, that Eight was using his bugs to find them if he was on. Thats one of the main reasons that he was so good at finding people and still is to this day in-fact.
When his dad saw this, Eight was punished by having his shades took off him. Which to him was a big deal due to he only just got given them to him by his granddad that recently passed away. That day his dad learnt him the importance about life and also about missions and how serious missions can be to the country, Eight still remembers those words to this day. But after he was released by his father, Eight began to go out with his friends again and started to have fun. But the one lesson that he learnt was never to learn his jutsu just for his own gain.
From that day, Eight just used his own skills to find his friends. It took longer then before and wasn't as half as fun, but he knew that using his bugs to find them was an incredible big mistake. It also helped him become faster at running, thats why Eight is one of the fastest genin out of his friends and maybe one of the fastest in the village. To even further his speed, he would walk around with weights on and then when he would play a game, he would take them off and he would be faster again.
- Bug in the Academy:
Eight was enrolled in the village academy at the age of 11, some people joined sooner then he did but his dad kept him back a year so he could hone his skills before entering, this would give him a edge over the other students if they were doing any activities. This sometime bored Eight as he knew everything they were doing at the academy. The only practise he needed was on the exams, but he was pretty certain he would pass due to all the revision he was doing at home and at the academy.
During these years his dad did not let him leave the house other then for the academy. This is when Eight didn't like his parents one little bit and didn't talk to him, but his dad always told him that he would understand when he passed. Obviously he did understand as soon as Eight got 100% on the exam and thats when he thanked his dad for all the pressure he put under Eight. He also learnt another lesson that day, no matter how sad how his methods may be, always trust your dad, as they have had experiences that no new born will ever understand or get.
Before he even got given a team, Eight went home and started to train harder and more lethal as well. He knew that his skills were not good enough for a genin, so he had to improve them so he would be the best Aburame genin out of the entire world. It was also the day that he made a bet with his friends to see who would become Chuunin first, the first one to acheive that rank would have to take the others out on a dangerous mission, also they would get a little bit of money from it.
- Post Academy:
To this present day, Eight is currently training and also trying new ways to mix his bugs in with his taijutsu. So far he has not been successful but he won't stop trying till he at least gets good results. In his free time, he goes out with his friends and often has some ramen or a barbecue. Eight hasn't done any missions of date since he has no desire too.
Roleplay Sample:
- From Ingoo:
Katsu ran through the forest and came to a familiar gate he knew, He walked in and looked around i havent been here for yonks ever since that mission Katsu walked up and stopped then smiled , He walked to the hokage building and walked up the stairs and came to the hokage door. Katsu knocked on the door then opened it" im Back Hokage" He looked around and couldnt see the Hokage there. He walked back out and closed the door behind him. Katsu scratched his head i wonder where the Hokage is Katsu walked down the stairs and walked to the mission room, he opened the door and walked in"ive finished my mission" Katsu walked out again, He yawned and he put his hand over his mouth.
He walked to his house and opened the door. Katsu looked around and saw a robe and a mask on his table. Katsu Shrugged his shoulders and walked over to it, He turned over the mask and there was a letter inside of it. Katsu took out the letter and opened it, he took out the paper and began reading it: Well done you have been promoted to Jounin best wishes the Hokage "yess" He put down the letter and walked over to his bed and lied down on it and went to sleep. Katsu woke up and looked around, he got out of bed and went over to his table and sat down. He got up again and walked over to a cupboard and got 1 glass out, he then got whisky and pourred some in, Katsu picked up the glass and put it down his throat in one. He got up dressed and went out and he then looked around and smiled. Katsu began walking and looked around the street.
He couldn’t believe that he was back in Kohona, He breathed in deeply and took in the fresh air and then he breathed out. Katsu smiled at everyone he looked at, He took out a cigarettes packet and opened it he took out a cigarette and lit it, He put it in his mouth and began smoking it, He left it in his mouth while smoke was coming out of his nose, Katsu walked to a bench and sat down , He looked at everyone walking by like they never knew he left. Katsu looked up in the air and smiled for a brief moment, he then looked down again and got off the bench. He walked past all the houses off people he knew and was friends with. He walked up to the memorial stone and he looked at all the names that was imprinted on it, some of his friends names was on there. Katsu smiled and a single tear fell from his eye, He wiped his eyes and by the time he did his cigarette was out, He took it out and threw it on the floor, he then stamped on it and wiggled his foot a little so he knew the flame was out. Katsu then turned around and began walking again, he came across a lake which he use to play in with all his friends, He sat down and took off his sandals, he then began walking into the lake until the water reached his 3 quarter height. He looked around and smiled, he then saw all his friends and him and they was all splashing in the lake playing with each other. He walked out and put on his sandals again.
Katsu walked across the fields like it he was a child again. He smiled at the kids at the park. He sat down on a bench and looked at the kids having fun, He smiled then got up again, he took out another cigarette and lit it he then put it in his mouth and began smoking. He walked and one person came up to him while he was walking, the child said”are you a jounin?” Katsu smiled then nodded, the child said ”im going to be one” He then smiled even more “well I hope you do” Katsu began walking and stood in front of the ramen shop, He put his cigarette on the floor and stamped on it. Katsu then walked in and looked at the owner ”could I have a normal ramen please” The owner smiled and then he began making it. He took the ramen off the table when it was done and he began eating it. He put money on the table ”keep the change” He smiled then got up from his seat and then left the building. Katsu walked until his legs was getting tired, He walked up to a field and lied down he then closed his eyes and began laughing. He opened his eyes again and he got up, He looked around and the fields was empty and there was a strong wind brewing, the sun was setting and it was getting dark. Katsu sat up and looked at the sun setting. When the sun was no longer in His eye sight.
Katsu got up and began walking home. He looked down the streets and alleys and it was empty the houses lights where off it was only him in the streets. He stood still and scratched his head it’s amazing what happens when your having fun He laughed a little then began walking. He then came upon his house, Katsu looked at the door and the hole thing. He then smiled and laughed a little he then walked to the one place he has wanted to see for a long time the academy. He reached the academy and he looked at the building and he thought about all the times he had at the academy. He smiled again and he walked back home and while he was walking back home there was a paper on the floor. Katsu bent down and picked it up he then began reading it the headline said He came home Katsu smiled and began walking again, when he met with his home he opened the door went to his bed lied down on it and dozed off to sleep.
Really?
THE ARSENAL.
- Clan Jutsu:
Name: Mushi Seichuu| Insect Control Rank: C-A Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Description: Mushi Seichuu is a technique used by the members of the Aburame clan. Clan members are able to product a special species of insects from their bodies called kikaichū which are able to attack and devour the chakra of their victims. This is a basic technique which allows the Aburame to call forth their inherit insects to allow them to move, shape, and perform any act they see fit. The amount of insects one is able to produce and manipulate is relatively the size of a human. C-Ranked Aburame can control kakaichu within close range, B-Ranked at Mid range, and finally A-Ranked can manipulate their bugs up to 30m away. When their bugs come in contact with a target, they are able to consume their chakra and cause physical harm from their bites. For each attack from this technique, the target's chakra is reduced by 4. Chakra Cost: C-rank: 5 (2 per post) B-rank: 10 (3 per post) A-rank: 20 (4 per post)
Name: Hijutsu: Mushiyose | Secret Technique: Insect Gathering Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m ~ 5m) Description: Hijutsu: Mushiyose is a technique used by the members of the Aburame clan. By simply touching a surface with their palm and fingers, the user releases a small web of chakra that draws bugs to that location. Chakra Cost: 2CP
Name: Hyu-man Hyou no Jutsu | Human Cocoon Technique Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m) Description: Hyu-man Hyou no Jutsu is a technique used by the members of the Aburame clan. The user creates a waterproof cocoon around themselves most likely to spy or hide from the enemy. The user can also use the cocoon as a "sleeping bag". Chakra Cost: 3CP
Name: Mushi Kame no Jutsu | Insect Jar Technique Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m ~ 5m) Description: Mushi Kame no Jutsu is a technique used by the members of the Aburame clan. This jutsu uses the Kikaichū bugs living in the user's body as a shield by having them fly in a dome shape at high speed. The dome is strong enough to destroy incoming attacks, but can be disrupted with sufficient explosive force. In addition, the Kikaichū bugs are able to feed on the chakra of any being they comes in contact with their dome, destroying 5CP in the process. Opposing forces above C-rank that come in contact with this dome will break through it. Chakra Cost: 7CP [2 per post](Additional 3CP to reform)
Name: Tsumu Hensei | Spindle Formation Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Description: Tsumu Hensei is a technique used by the members of the Aburame clan. The user has their Kikaichū bugs attack the target in a spiralling motion to confuse the target as well as drain their chakra. Those who fall victim to this technique loses 5CP. Chakra Cost: 6CP
- Academy Jutsu:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or her attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
- Lightning Jutsu:
Name: Kangekiha - Inspiration Wave Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Raiton (Lightning) Description: The user will first create a protective wall of earth (must be done with a earth technique, it is not included with just this technique). They will then form the needed hand seal and emit a bolt of electricity into the earth which will increase its defensive effectiveness and stun any targets who attempt to pass through. The electricity only affects the earth for the post it is used, and the stunning effect only lasts as long as the user is making contact with the earth. Chakra Cost: 6 [Modified]
Name: Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder Rank: C-A Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Raiton (Lightning) Description: This technique allows the user to create a wave of electricity from their hands. The user can vary its power from a small surge to shock an opponent to a powerful stream of lightning capable of ripping through solid rock. Chakra Cost: C (5), B (10), A (20)
- Doton Jutsu:
Name: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu - Double Suicide Decapitation Technique Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. The ninja will travel through the ground to appear below their target. They will then surprise their target by then pulling them into the ground. Once in the ground their target is thus immobilized. Chakra Cost: 4
Name: Dochuu Senkou - Underground Submarine Voyage Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Dochuu Senkou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. After forming the needed hand seals, the user can sink below ground and quickly travel through the earth. Chakra Cost: 6 (2 per post)
Name: Doro Gaeshi - Mud Overturn Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Doro Gaeshi is a defensive Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. After striking the ground with their hands, a large wall of earth will rise into place as defense. The defense is not perfect though, a hard or drilling impact can puncture the wall. Chakra Cost: 6
Name: Doryuusou - Earthen Rising Spears Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: This technique lets the user condense mud or stone, from the ground, and shape them into spikes that will protrude from the ground in order to skewer the target. The spikes are brittle, and can be broken with a strong blow or tough defense. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: Gansetsukon - Rock Spear Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: This jutsu allows the user to take a small chunk of rock and turn it into the shape of a staff. The user can then use it as a weapon or throw it at their opponent. Because it is made of thin stone, it is very brittle. Chakra Cost: 5
Name: Retsudo Tenshou - Revolving Split Earth Palm Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: Doton • Retsudo Tenshou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. This technique allows the ninja to control nearby stone and rock. When the ninja forms the needed handseals and slams their palm to the ground, surrounding rock will begin to churn and twist up crushing all those trapped within it. Chakra Cost: 9
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Shino Aburame Source: Naruto Image URL:Link
Last edited by Drew on Sun 27 Jan 2013, 2:09 am; edited 10 times in total |
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Wed 23 Jan 2013, 12:49 am | |
| Completion bump. |
| | | Kiseki
Posts : 1216
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Wed 23 Jan 2013, 1:19 am | |
| So. How about that there roleplay sample? |
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Wed 23 Jan 2013, 1:20 am | |
| Well I've been on this site for years, I understand if a new player joined. But for someone that most people know can ropleplay..
EDIT: But there ya go! |
| | | Emperor of Rock
Age : 32 Posts : 869
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Thu 24 Jan 2013, 6:02 am | |
| Nindo is a rule your character lives by, not just a random line.
Origin is meant for the country you're from, not the village. In your case it's Hi no Kuni
For the combat style, I would like it to be a little bit more longer.
As for the history, that needs to be way longer.
Drew, you might have been on this site for years, but that doesn't matter, we always require an RP sample. So it's nice that you made it after all.
- Quote :
- Name: Kangekiha - Inspiration Wave
You need to have an earth jutsu for this one, and you decided not to start with the Earth element. It is your choice but I suggest starting with 2 elements from the start and you can have up to 15 jutsu. You now have 6, counting this one, or 5 if you decide that you will start with only 1 element since you will have to remove the jutsu. |
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Thu 24 Jan 2013, 10:18 am | |
| Alrighty roo, edited! |
| | | Emperor of Rock
Age : 32 Posts : 869
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:15 pm | |
| You still can have 2 more jutsus if you wish. Be sure to add them if you want. Anyway, here it is.
Approved 1/2 |
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Thu 24 Jan 2013, 3:05 pm | |
| Ill pass on the two extra. Can't find any jutsu I want at the moment. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Fri 25 Jan 2013, 2:50 am | |
| Hey there, so I have just a tad bit to mention before I give my approval.
- You don't talk much about your guy's appearance. Like you leave out the facial description, and don't even mention how his eyes are. I get that he walks around with those sunglasses almost everywhere he goes, but we still want some details on him.
- Your personality is very short I gotta say. I like to see a bit more effort when people are applying for clans. It doesn't need to be anything major, just a few lines more. Adding a bit more to what he likes or dislikes.
- You need to link the clan to the application.
-
- Quote :
- That day he learnt never to mess around on a mission
I am confused over that part of your history. As you clearly state that he was using bugs to find the other children in hide and seek, and that was the cause of his punishment? Plus, he was only 7 so he wouldn't have been in a mission to begin with.
- You also say that he was held back a year and didn't enter the academy until he was 11, but to my believe the kids enter the academy at around 6 years old. And they graduate when they are about 12.
- Add a little bit to your history about his current life please.
|
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Fri 25 Jan 2013, 9:19 am | |
| - Quote :
- You don't talk much about your guy's appearance. Like you leave out the facial description, and don't even mention how his eyes are. I get that he walks around with those sunglasses almost everywhere he goes, but we still want some details on him.
I talk quite a lot about his appearance. Plus the whole 4 paragraphs.
- Quote :
- Your personality is very short I gotta say. I like to see a bit more effort when people are applying for clans. It doesn't need to be anything major, just a few lines more. Adding a bit more to what he likes or dislikes.
Im sure you've seen shorter ones for a genin. Im 100% sure you have seen shorter ones then mine.
- Quote :
- Add a little bit to your history about his current life please.
What current life? I haven't roleplayed with him yet, so Im not gonna make a history about something that hasn't happened since the academy.
I have said that after he graduated, he went and trained.
Basically, you are nit picking. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Fri 25 Jan 2013, 6:36 pm | |
|
-
- Quote :
- I talk quite a lot about his appearance. Plus the whole 4 paragraphs.
First of all, one of your "paragraphs" is only about his glasses and what he thinks about them. And as I said before, there is nothing said about his -face- or his -eyes-.
Second of all, a paragraph is 250 - 300 words. Not 4 sentences.
-
- Quote :
- Im sure you've seen shorter ones for a genin. Im 100% sure you have seen shorter ones then mine.
Of course I have seen shorter than yours and shorter in general. And I ask them all to kindly fix that, just like I did with you.
-
- Quote :
- What current life? I haven't roleplayed with him yet, so Im not gonna make a history about something that hasn't happened since the academy.
So you are telling me that from the time he graduated and until now, nothing at all happened? I ask -everybody- to add just a tiny bit about what they are doing right now in their life. Is he training something special? Having a grudge against someone? You say he went to train, can you add like 1 sentence or two about what he's training and for what?
If the histories wouldn't matter, I doubt they would be a section in the template.
You still don't explain why there are missions mentioned towards his hide and seek part when he was 7. I get that his father was teaching him an important lesson, but I don't get why you were mentioning missions.
- Quote :
- Basically, you are nit picking.
I am being precise. I can be even more precise if you want me to be? The only things I have asked you to do is adding what, a few more sentences to his appearance, personality and history. How come you find that too impossible and decide to be rude to me? I don't find my requests even remotely hard to fulfill, so I don't understand why you are making a big deal of them.
- Also, it's "Hi no Kuni" not "Ki."
|
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Fri 25 Jan 2013, 6:56 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Before he even got given a team, Eight went home and started to train harder and more lethal as well. He knew that his skills were not good enough for a genin, so he had to improve them so he would be the best Aburame genin out of the entire world. It was also the day that he made a bet with his friends to see who would become Chuunin first, the first one to acheive that rank would have to take the others out on a dangerous mission, also they would get a little bit of money from it.
This is the last paragraph in the history part.
Obviously you have not read it at all. If you say "I have" then you should notice that in the para before the quoted one, that he got genin, then in this one. He is making a bet with his friends and training. If thats not present day, then smack my ass and call me spanky.
Im out. |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Fri 25 Jan 2013, 7:19 pm | |
| This looks like one day to me. One day that he went home to train and then make a bet. I'm sorry but I cannot see this as something he did of the span of what... 1 - 2 years.
Also, if you say you have made something that is -out of the academy- aka after he graduated, then you should make that in a separate spoiler. And not in the academy spoiler, just to clear things up. Your history is very short as it is, so I am asking you to add a few more sentences, preferably more about his current life or then add more to the academy.
And no, I am not bullying you or anything. I ask this of -everyone-. That also means that you are not going to be getting any special treatment and be left of the hook just because you are trying to be smart ass with me.
And frankly I have no desire to spank you, good sir. |
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Fri 25 Jan 2013, 8:45 pm | |
| I don't know where I said you was bullying me..but whatever.
Also I don't see why I can't roleplay with him straight out of the academy.
Im not making a new arc because I wish to fill that stuff when I do an update with what I have actually done with him.
But I have added a bit onto my history about what he is doing, added onto his looks on what his eyes look like. Also on the history I have edited it from, 'he learnt that day about being serious on missions' too 'his dad basically had a talk to him about missions'. Also added a bit to personality on likes and dislikes |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Sat 26 Jan 2013, 11:00 pm | |
| You didn't specify exactly when he graduated, and I felt that 14 was a bit old to be graduating. But I can live with what you have added in, thank you so much for the cooperation.
Now if you would only make a separate spoiler in your history for the "out of academy" years/days, and fix what my esteemed colleague pointed out then we can get a rolling on things. |
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Sun 27 Jan 2013, 10:36 am | |
| Edited and what you on about? |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Sun 27 Jan 2013, 5:41 pm | |
| (1/2) approved. |
| | | Rust
Age : 29 Posts : 463
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Sun 27 Jan 2013, 5:42 pm | |
| - Ivan wrote:
- You still can have 2 more jutsus if you wish. Be sure to add them if you want. Anyway, here it is.
Approved 1/2 |
| | | MsMoney
Age : 37 Posts : 2201
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Sun 27 Jan 2013, 5:58 pm | |
| Sometimes I wonder if I am high when I wake up.
(2/2) approved. Make your account here. |
| | | Cookie Monster
Age : 29 Posts : 4301
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] Sun 14 Apr 2013, 4:35 pm | |
| Archived. Due to inactivity.
|
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Aburame, Eight [Konoha Genin] | |
| |
| | | |
Page 1 of 1 | |
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| FORUM STAFF |
|
Affiliates |
OUR BUTTON
OUR AFFILIATES
|
COPYRIGHT |
Naruto© - The Creator [ Masashi Kishimoto] Custom Characters, Equipment, Techniques, Images, etc. [Their Rightful Owners] Any creations, posts, and ideas from this site are copyrighted to their respective owners. Therefore, information may not be taken or used without their permission. Failing to abide is plagiarism.
|
|