It had been nearly a week since his spar with Mardoc - and subsequently, his defeat. To be blunt, it wasn't much of a "defeat" since it was never a true battle in the first place. Alas, to the Genin it felt like a defeat. He struggled to accept the fact that he had not managed to do something perfectly. All his life he had succeeded and excelled at basically everything. He didn't know what defeat tasted like. His mouth was bitter now, nearly gagging at the thought. Junichi let his memory wander back to the day of the spar, remembering him utilizing what remaining amount of chakra he had left to transport himself back home. His mother was surprised to see him so disgruntled and hurt. Scars blemished his porcelain face and dried, sanguine blood lay littered on sporadic areas of his person. To his dismay, he winced at the memory of snapping at her when he questioned him. Blue eyes shut close tightly, not wanting to remember the rather hurt and shocked look on his kin's face at being yelled at; yet memories of his mother's face plagued him with guilt.

The youth snapped back to reality, the memory fading. Why am I not ... stronger? His thoughts mused through his head as he lifted himself from his futon, gazing at his reflection in his mirror. He began to doubt himself. Did he really possess the skill that he was acclaimed to?Was his strength accurate or nothing but a fickle lie that was whispered into his ears to motivate him towards the future? Damn it. Trembling hands clutched themselves into fists, fingernails digging into his skin. Without warning, a knock came at his door, and before the genin could let a curse slip through his lips, the door opened.

"Stop sulking, Junichi." spoke his mother. He whipped around to face her, his glasses nearly turning askew from how fast he had turned around. She was dressed in her Jounin garb, an atypical attire as she rarely did work for Konohagakure now that she had financial and political tasks to work with as the new heir. Inside her left hand were two, cylindrical scrolls that she clutched skillfully. "I'm not sulking." Junichi finally spoke, his blue eyes glaring at her. He frowned as he spoke though, realizing that with the tone he spoke in, it was rather obvious that he was indeed sulking. "I'm just stressed out and going through a rough patch." he amended his statement, shrugging his shoulders briefly. The female Jounin only smiled, her eyes lit with an all-knowing glint, and forcibly pulled his narrow body towards her with a rough pull. Her hands quickly molded themselves into hand seals and to his surprise, leaves swam around them and they flickered off into a new location.

Stumbling around to regain his senses, Junichi squinted as he saw the new location. His mouth formed into a look of disgust as he caught a waft of the looming smell in the area - it smelled like decay and death. "This is the Forest of Death, Junichi. I spoke with the person who did your seal about you training and they gave me a few scrolls that they wrote up to give to you. We've never really talked much about the Rokubi being sealed inside of you. You use its special power, shabondoma, for your jutsu .... but if you learn how to contact it and convince it, you could utilize its power and come in harmony with it." said his mother, facing him. Untying the scrolls and opening them with a flick of her hand, they unraveled and sprawled out on the forest floor. Whilst the Genin was certainly intelligent, he had never bothered speaking with the demon that resided in him. Apprehension filled his face as he nervously chewed his lip. He said nothing, but his facial expression was an obvious answer to his mother.

"I don't know anything about fuinjutsu nor bijuu, so I can only tell you what the man told me - if you come to peace with yourself and the Rokubi via communication, you will slowly be able to access more inner strength. Like the meditation you were taught how to do with the rest of the men in the family, it's the same thing; to achieve nirvana, you have to find yourself." The woman crossed her arms now that they were now free and stared hard at her son, whom nodded. He was flabbergasted and lost as of what to say. The idea was certainly appealing ... getting stronger was one of his main priorities. But fear resided and rooted in the back of his mind, not only worried if he was incapable of doing the task - but worried of meeting the demon that lived in him.

"Good luck, Jun-kun. I'm sorry I can't stay to help you, but this is a personal battle of your own." said his mother. She leaned forward, gently untying his hitai-ate from his forehead that skidded down to the forest ground. Cerise lips pressed against his forehead and she placed a small kiss on it, tousling his hair with a few motions of her hand, and whisked away. Gaining his resolve, Junichi picked up his hitai-ate and slipped it into his pocket. Stooping downwards, he analyzed the few notes scribbled onto the scroll, his fingers gently touching the raised ink embedded into the parchment. Cerulean eyes moved back and forth as he took in the information, porcelain teeth gently nibbling on the flesh of his bottom lip in midst thought. Meditating seems the best way.. He thought, gathering his items and finding a "safe" location to go to; although in the Forest of Death, it seemed nearly impossible.

He finally came across a clearing that was uninhabited by any portentous flora nor feral creature. Sitting down with his back pressed against a tree, Junichi inhaled quickly, letting his eyes closed as he folded his legs. His hands were positioned into a hitsuji hand seal as he focused, attempting to find a way to initiate his link. Typically, meditation came with ease to him - as it had been a way of his life ever since the beginning. But he struggled to find an inner peace and it took hours for him to finally settle his inner conscious down to the point where his mind was blank, devoid of all thoughts. Mind silent, he envisioned himself searching through his mind, attempting to find the Rokubi or any hinting of him. He was stunned at how the dark void of his mind had been replaced with an open swamp. He panicked as suddenly, it seemed the swamp's field began to slowly suck Junichi's body in, acting like a quicksand of sorts. No matter how hard his body struggled to resist and fight, the swamp's sludge continued to suck him in, and seconds later, his body was under the surface.

His inner self was conscious and breathing, incapable of moving; he was simply there. Underneath the swamp's surface it was cloudy, forcing Junichi to rely only on his senses. It seemed he was now underwater, for he could feel bubbles spew out of his lips as he moved his mouth. No longer feeling frozen nor too timid to move, his body dove downwards in the swamp, swimming swiftly. He could feel himself breathing, although it seemed he could breathe underwater for the time being. Noticing a cavern, his inner self swam towards it and within moments, reached it. As his feet touched the land, he no longer had to swim, as only a part of the cavern was filled with water. He dared not to criticize his conscious for creating such an unrealistic place, knowing it would do no good to his cause.

Carefully, the Genin would walk, the water reaching up towards his chest. He took in the details of the cavern, analyzing it as he walked. The cavern was covered in a plethora of moss and reeked of mildew and water-logged wood, which did not please him. He seemed to have been walking for miles until he finally came close to the end of the cavern; an illuminating, blue light filled the end. From what he could see, the light was coming from behind a barred entrance, as if the rest of the cavern had been locked away. Not wanting to end his exploration now, Junichi ran towards the gate as fast as he could, given the fact that the water inhibited his movements slightly. Upon reaching the gate, his eyes focused on the lock on it, with a kanji seal on it. He could feel something radiate from both the gate and its lock. Just as he was about to touch the lock, he heard a voice.

"A new friend~" came a rather sluggish, yet cheerful voice. Without warning, his inner self gave out on him and his body blacked out, forcibly ending Junichi's meditation. His eyes bolted open as once and he fell forwards, glasses falling off his face.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, body quivering as he attempted to recover from the experience.

words: 1518/1000
[exit]
ooc note: this is the first post for the lucid dream state training. the second part will be done in another topic and then the "mastery" topic will also be done in another topic, and all three will be submitted for evaluation.