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WTFlash wrote:

Name: Ryuzaki Style: Pyro Barrier -- I dont need any history of the jutsu or Blaize in this, just down to what the technique does pleeease.

Code:

Edit to just include what the jutsu does.

Name: Thermal Sensory Jutsu -- Sensory itself is B ranked, so an advanced version of sensory should be at least B-ranked. The Dark Light technique is okay though.

Code:

Switched Thermal Sensory to B rank

Name: Ryuzaki Style: Burning Wave -- No invisible Jutsu.

Code:

 Edit to make the heat form a 'spiral of flame' that is visible to the naked eye.

Also there is a lot of information in the Clan KKG explanation that sounds like jutsu... could you remove the individual spoilers and make anything that is used as a jutsu, even if its passive, in the jutsu template? That would make things much easier to navigate.

Code:

 Edited the Sections "Fire size, usage, and Chakra distance" to the jutsu template called "Ryuzaki Flame"

Quote :

The flame the clan use can burn, when the user will allow it, heat, shape manipulate, or combine with other elements

• There are dozens of grammatical fallacies throughout the entire app. If you would so kindly proof read your work, it would help with understanding some of the more messy areas. You also seem to use the incorrect form of a word now and again. This is mainly a nitpick, but it does make the application look far more professional when there aren't loads of grammatical and spelling errors.
  ex."They members of the clan usually have short hair."
  ex."...the members who do not like the bland color chooses to die their hair if they choose to."

• Quote :

  The nature in question has not been limited to the scope of flame; the fire nature includes other verities as heat and alteration in temperature.

  This is completely unnecessary, for two reasons. One, it's not a legitimate Kekkei Genkai/Hiden, because you fail to describe or go in depth at all about this ability; and two, because any other member can theoretically do the same thing. One of the issues with having clans based around one of the 5 elements is that one cannot limit things to simply to the clan. Main reason being that nothing stops another member with the same element from doing exactly the same thing, since they have the exact same element as the members of the clan. Thus, many of the clan traits and abilities really aren't clan limited whatsoever.
  

• Quote :

  Certain Members of the clan has the ability to learn the Special Characteristics of Sensory. While they choose to become a shinobi with sensory abilities or a sensory shinobi the members of this clan has developed their own style of sensory. The style of sensory deals with the flame nature that they posses. With the development within the clan the members can sense not only chakra signatures but also the thermal signatures of an area.

  You'll need to create an actual Special Characteristic for this sensory, because it differs greatly from the regular sensory, and it's a bit confusing as to what it grants exactly, and to what possible extent.
  

• Quote :

  The Ryuzaki clan has been known to use a unique style of drawing up their chakra then regular shinobi. While people make a hand sign to focus on elemental chakra, the clan has been known to snap their finger to summon up flames to use. The most known example is the use of the “Ryuzaki Style: Ryuzaki Inferno” jutsu. This does not replace the use of hand signs; It is just a unique way to draw up chakra and use in certain Katon Only jutsu.

  This is a bit confusing. First you state that your clan members summon up chakra using a snap of the fingers to replace hand signs, then proceed to state that you still require hand seals. Seems to contradict itself, and would be of great help if clearly elaborated.
  

• Quote :

  The clan had taken advantage of their trait of having a fire affinity to the best that they can. The clan itself has achieved a level of mastery that allows Katon based jutsu to be reduced as well as having a slight resistant to fire itself. The shinobi of the clan can use up to 25% less chakra in Katon based jutsu. The clan can also withstand 25% of heat and fire from nature and in combat.

  This should be removed, for the sole reason that it grants a very high advantage for your clan members, when they don't really have to suffer any penalties. If for instance, your characters were forced to ONLY have Katon, and no other element until a certain rank, then sure, this would be acceptable. But your characters don't require that, thus you're giving them a huge discount, with no possible drawbacks at all. It's a bit too high of a number. If it was 10%, then sure, but the only way it would be 25% is if your clan members weren't allowed other elements. That would be an actual disadvantage.
  

• Quote :

  With the clan’s combat in flames they are able to engulf their body in flame, most notably the arms and legs of the member’s body. In combat they add a flame effect with each attack that gives the enemy a slight burn to the body. With repeated attacks the flame can cause burns to the enemy.

  Anyone can do this, and this is not limited to the clan at all. Not only that, but it's more of a jutsu based thing. You can't just willingly coat your body in flames at will, and not risk any chakra consumption. Thus, this should be removed entirely. It serves no real purpose for the above two reasons.
  

• Quote :

  Members of this clan can withstand 25% less damage of fire and fire like chakra up to and including the member’s rank. C -B rank shinobi (Genin-Chuunin) can use 25% less chakra in Katon jutsu up to and including B rank. The A Rank Jounin can reduce their chakra Katon jutsu by 25% up to A rank. While S rank Jounin can reduce Katon jutsu by 25% up to and including A rank, but S rank reductions follow limitations. The S Rank Jounin are strictly limited to reduce 4 S Ranks Katon based jutsu. While they are limited in terms of S rank Katon jutsu, the A rank and below Katon jutsu still follow the unlimited reduction of 25%.

  This is unnecessarily confusing, and contradicts with the preceding paragraph that states all Katon techniques receive 25% off. So here you have an explanation for that, I assume, but it's a bit confusing to follow. Making a chart would be nice, or clearing things up a bit. Also "4 S rank Katon Based jutsu" That's.. unrealistic. 1 S rank requires quite a hefty supply of chakra, and S-ranks are usually trump cards. One is not going to go anywhere NEAR using 4 S-ranks in a single topic. Thus, this should be greatly reduced. To say, 1 S-rank.
  

• Quote :

  Name: Ryuzaki Flame
  Rank: D-A Rank
  Type: Clan Ninjutsu
  Range: (D Rank: 0-5M), (C Rank: 6-10M) (B Rank: 11-25M) (A Rank: 25-50M)
  Element: Fire
  Description: The members of the clan can use fire at will and control natural flames if they submit an equal amount of flame to control it. The way the clan summons up flame is with the use of a snap in the hands. The amount used is gauge within the ranking of the shinobi. Lighting a small candle or burning a tip of a rope or something similar in that aspect is considered D rank usage. Anything the size of a softball to the size of a beach ball, As well as flame engulfing the hands and up to the elbow or Feet up to the kneecap is at C rank cost. B Rank usage of fire is anything larger than the size of a beach ball or longer than 30 feet of rope, up to the size of a Shed is considered to be B rank usage of flame. Anything the size of the Kage's mansion, distance from the Fire temple to the location of grass were team Kakashi was trapped is considered A rank usage of fire/fire chakra.
  Chakra Cost: (D Rank 4) [C Rank 8] (B Rank 12) (A Rank 22)

  There is so much wrong with this technique, I hardly know where to start. I'll try to break it down bit by bit. First sentence stats that members of the clan can control fire at will. You'll need to elaborate heavily by what you mean "at will". Does that mean being able to telekinetically stop a fireball in mid air? Or how about causing a forest fire to greatly expand in a matter of seconds. On that note, you state that one can control an outside flame by applying "an equal amount of flame" to it. I don't understand what you mean. Equal amount of flame? Please explain this much more thoroughly. Now, the actual ranges and limits for this are extraordinarily over done. 50m for an A-rank? At 22CP? Nooooo. A more appropriate amount would be D-rank: 2m; C-rank: 5m; B-rank: 10m; A-rank: 20m. Summoning a fireball capable of crushing a small army is not something that will be allowed at little to no actual cost. 22CP is hardly rational to be able to create a fireball out of nowhere the size of a mansion. Also, the final sentence trying to explain the size of the fireball is incredibly confusing. How is someone supposed to know the distance between the fire temple and the location of grass where team Kakashi was trapped in. That's ridiculously vague, and points to a single instance in the Canon I doubt anyone really cared to notice.
  
• Your history and jutsu mention your character. This should not be the case at all. Your character may be a member of the clan, but he should not be in the history. You have your own personal history for that.
  

• Quote :

  Ryuzaki Style: Ryuzaki Inferno

  This jutsu is far too powerful and a little confusing. First you state they can engulf all of their body, then you proceed to state only the arms and legs individually. Clearly define which it is. Also, engulfing all four limbs simultaneously is too much for a C-rank, and would fall more toward a B-rank technique. Finally, third degree is far too strong for a simple fire coating. Third degree actually melts the muscle tissue and liquefies the skin. It's also the most dangerous burn, and almost always leads to death, if not irreversable damage. Far too much for such a low ranked technique. Should be minimized to simple first degree burns. Technique also lacks a maintaining chakra cost.
  

• Quote :

  Ryuzaki Style: Pyro Prison

  Where does this fire come from? One cannot just create fire from the middle of nowhere without any open sources of flame. That's god modding by definition. The fire techniques in Naruto are all expelled from the user's body, much like every other technique besides the occasional earth and wood jutsu. Fire DEFINITELY cannot be spawned at will, around an area without any notice whatsoever. This technique is denied unless somehow made more reasonable.
  

• Quote :

  Ryuzaki Style: Pyro Barrier

  Several things with this jutsu. For one, how does FIRE, an intangible substance, possibly defend against a punch or a chunk of earth? The object would go straight through it. Thus, a firewall wouldn't in fact defend against any attack, but rather, another intangible attack. But even then; wind is really the only thing that would be defended. Why would lightning be stopped by a wall of heat? It makes no rational sense. And water. Water would extinguish the flames 1 rank lower than the technique, not equal in rank. It wouldn't be an ADVANTAGE over fire, if it required equal amount of stress. It would just be a regular technique. The jutsu, unless somehow made more reasonable, will also be denied on the above grounds.
  

• Quote :

  Thermal Sensory Jutsu

  There's a few minor inconsistencies with this technique. First of all, 320yd is not 100m. 100m is about 110yds; so that should be fixed. You mention your character's name in this technique as well, which is inconsistent with the clan. A clan is for everyone, not just you; else it's not a clan. I'd also like to point out that C-rank and D-rank chakra costs are very vague. D-rank is 1CP per post; and C-ranks are 5-9CP. So please put actual numbers instead. Finally; this should probably be a Special Characteristic, since it is passive as you said; and is essentially an extension of the original sensory technique.
  

• Quote :

  Ryuzaki Style: Dark Light

  Some more inconsistencies in this as well. Yet again, your character name is mentioned in the description; which leads me to believe that these sensory jutsu are just for your character, and definitely shouldn't be in a clan application at all. The chakra costs are also a bit confusing. Is it xCP per item, or per rank? In which case, how do you use HALF of a jutsu? Let's say you only wanted to tag one item, that would cost you 4CP, but then to coat the next one, it would be... free? Um, no. Make it more clear how much chakra is really being used. Oh, and you made the same calculation error with yards and meters again, fix this please.
  

• Quote :

  Ryuzaki Style: Finding Heat

  This jutsu is a bit confusing, since the Dark Light technique does almost the exact same thing, The main difference is that this one requires a simple touch, which would in reality make it far more efficient to use than the Dark Light. Also, heat signature isn't like chakra.. It's not special to everyone individually. A heat signature is a heat signature. One cannot transfer their body heat into someone else, and even if they did, it would fade after a few moments. The jutsu is implausible when looked at rationally. It's better off to just modify Dark Light to include a similar feature to this jutsu.
  

• Quote :

  Flaming Shuriken

  This would be weaponry. Also, the amounts are ridiculously high. The reason the tile shuriken worked, was because it was such a SPECIFIC technique, whereas this is incredibly broad. Anyone can carry tons of shuriken with them if they wanted to; and now you're giving people the ability to manually control them using some form of heat levitation which doesn't seem to make much physical sense. The projectile limits should be about: D-rank: 2 projectiles; C-rank: 4 projectiles; B-rank: 8 projectiles; A-rank: 16 projectiles. Also, your chakra costs are wrong, in that you use D, C, B instead of D, C, B, A.
  

• Quote :

  Ryuzaki Style: Burning Wave

  First degree burns, or second degree if direct hit. Also, the technique is a little confusing. It sounds like you can fire the wave at will like a Kamehame blast; but then proceed to say that one can punch with the jutsu? Please elaborate on how exactly it is used in a less confusing conduct.
  

• Quote :

  Ryuzaki Style: Heat Disturbance

  Making your own character immune to the effects of your own jutsu does not qualify as a blindspot. That's an advantage. Remove it from the jutsu please, for it makes no sense why it does not actually affect your character. A similar technique in another clan was registered that followed similarly to this area of effect technique, except the user was also influenced by his own jutsu. I see no reason yours should not have to be, especially considering it's such a low rank technique.

Please fix the above issues to gain a reapproval from the staff. The clan is heavily lacking in detail, and has some major holes in it. Until then, any character app for this clan will be suspended until this clan is completed.