Your Body Isn't Ready

Posts : 1044

Its a package deal.
You know the drill.

Age : 29 Posts : 231

Hi there! I'm Doctor Chocolate, but often referred to as Chocobo in the chatbox.

Seeing as how you have over a thousand posts, I'll trust you relatively know the system and won't need to ask questions, but if you do I'll be here to answer any that I can!

Welcome back to Ultimate Shinobi, and enjoy your stay Smile

Posts : 1044

WHAT SORCERY IS THIS.
YOU, MAN OF MAGIC, YOU ARE BANNED FROM MY SIGHT.
I AM A CHRISTIAN MAN AND KNOW NOT BUT THE MIRACLES OF GOD!

Age : 29 Posts : 231

Well sorry! D:

Posts : 1044

I KNOW THE DEVIL'S TRICKS.
I SEE HIS DEEDS.
AND I AM FILLED ONLY WITH CONTEMPT AND VITRIOL AT HIS SERVANTS!
REPENT!

Age : 30 Posts : 8965

Chocolate, this is Hage.

We try not to take him seriously. He hates being taken seriously. Aww yeah

Posts : 1044

I walk in the shadows and I see this face...
I see the marks that his greed has made on the hearts of man...
I know nothing of his mercy, I know nothing of his kindness...
Yet I know him.
I see his fingers marked on the glass where children gaze upon their dreams...
I see his teeth bared in a serpent's smile when I ask his name...
I feel his chill buried in my soul...
Yet I know him better than that.
I wish for the glory of my god and all his majesty
To carry me away from this terror
Yet I know him better
Than to know he'll answer

The devil has shown himself to me.
Here in this thread.
Maybe right above this post.
Maybe his face looks stupid too.
Like a turd.

Age : 29 Posts : 231

I have to take him seriously! Like his siggy says, THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!

Posts : 1044

Thats right, you don't listen to the devil.
Everything I say is 100% serious and contains the self-evident truths of the universe.
That people somehow don't know yet.

Age : 29 Posts : 231

See? I have to believe him.

They can't put anything on the internet that isn't real. :\

Posts : 1044

Everything I say is true.
Christianity is the true religion.
God exists.
Taco Tuesdays aren't a marketing ploy.
9/11 was an inside job.
Obama is a dirty Muslim who wants to take our jobs.

Age : 31 Posts : 683

Hageshii Ame wrote:: Everything I say is true.
Christianity is the true religion.
God exists.
Taco Tuesdays aren't a marketing ploy.
9/11 was an inside job.
Obama is a dirty Muslim who wants to take our jobs.

This man understands me.

Posts : 1044

As the man who has half my name, that seems plausible.
Logically, you are half me.
I had sex with your mother and did such a good job at it that I genetically unified my DNA with her current, past, and future offspring, ousting the genetic components of the previously installed father. By this method I have become the progenitor of your entire linage for the next seventeen generations.
You may call me daddy.
Or Big Daddy. Depending on how much Adam you're on.
Either way.

EDIT: Actually, I am obligated to 'teach the controversy' over genetic determination of humans. Alternatively I may have beaten Death in a game of Chinese Checkers and won the right to remake a series of humans in my image, as per the rules of the survival game that we codenamed Chinese Checkers. I also won the right to have dominion over all internet sarcasm. It was a pretty good deal.

Age : 31 Posts : 683

Hageshii Ame wrote:: As the man who has half my name, that seems plausible.
Logically, you are half me.
I had sex with your mother and did such a good job at it that I genetically unified my DNA with her current, past, and future offspring, ousting the genetic components of the previously installed father. By this method I have become the progenitor of your entire linage for the next seventeen generations.
You may call me daddy.
Or Big Daddy. Depending on how much Adam you're on.
Either way.

EDIT: Actually, I am obligated to 'teach the controversy' over genetic determination of humans. Alternatively I may have beaten Death in a game of Chinese Checkers and won the right to remake a series of humans in my image, as per the rules of the survival game that we codenamed Chinese Checkers. I also won the right to have dominion over all internet sarcasm. It was a pretty good deal.

Dad?

Posts : 24

Hm interesting and my body is ready.

Posts : 1044

Ame wrote:: Dad?

The court can't prove that.

Kanaku wrote:: Hm interesting and my body is ready.

I don't think it is, sometimes I lay in bed and think to myself 'my body isn't even ready for my mind right now' and I just fall into a vegetative coma for 4-6 hours. That's how long it takes for my body to be ready. Every night. I don't think you're prepared to make such a commitment.

Age : 31 Posts : 683

The courts can't but JERRY SPRINGER CAN!

Posts : 1044

I have some bad news for you...
Springer is a cultural relic whose relevance is slowly fading in the fast paced times of the 21st Century.
He deliberately chose to make his money in a career with a shelf life and he has done his best to prolong it while waking up every morning knowing that he traded his dignity for a dollar. Eventually, he'll be unable to stand it any longer and end his life with a tire iron. Such is life.
He is powerless to do anything to me.
That he hasn't already done to himself.

Quote :: Seeing as how you have over a thousand posts, I'll trust you relatively know the system and won't need to ask questions, but if you do I'll be here to answer any that I can!

950 of those posts are various times I've told someone to sit on a dick.
The other 50 are when I've gone a step further and involved a whole bag of them.
It would be unwise to assume that I know anything.
Except everything.

Age : 31 Posts : 1836

I'm geniunely pleased to see this, oddly enough.

Welcome back, Hage.

Age : 31 Posts : 683

Hageshii Ame wrote:

I have some bad news for you...
Springer is a cultural relic whose relevance is slowly fading in the fast paced times of the 21st Century.
He deliberately chose to make his money in a career with a shelf life and he has done his best to prolong it while waking up every morning knowing that he traded his dignity for a dollar. Eventually, he'll be unable to stand it any longer and end his life with a tire iron. Such is life.
He is powerless to do anything to me.
That he hasn't already done to himself.

Quote :: Seeing as how you have over a thousand posts, I'll trust you relatively know the system and won't need to ask questions, but if you do I'll be here to answer any that I can!

950 of those posts are various times I've told someone to sit on a dick.
The other 50 are when I've gone a step further and involved a whole bag of them.
It would be unwise to assume that I know anything.
Except everything.

This man is life.

Posts : 24

He's just wishy washy.

Posts : 1044

Ulkira wrote:: I'm geniunely pleased to see this, oddly enough.

Welcome back, Hage.

I am a wonderful human being whose presence adds to the atmosphere of every space, virtual or otherwise, which I occupy. This is obviously why it pleases you, you are under the influence of my charms...either that or Kyouka Suigetsu. But does it really matter which it is?

Age : 29 Posts : 1256

Hageshii Ame wrote:: 950 of those posts are various times I've told someone to sit on a dick.
The other 50 are when I've gone a step further and involved a whole bag of them.
It would be unwise to assume that I know anything.
Except everything.

You tell me to do this daily. Usually because I beat you at something or your body just isn't ready. I want a medal! Preferably one that proudly displays a tally mark for every dick you've told me to sit on!

Actually, just make it a trophy in the shape of my face that is entirely made of golden dicks. I can make that a centerpiece in my dorm room and impressed all the ladies. "What? This old thing? This is just an award I got for being told to sit on so many dicks so many times. Yeah, impressive, I know."

Lastly, you're the one with the most dick sitting experience because you took a class on it in college. Or have you forgotten who was the original dick sitter?!

Posts : 1044

Age : 31 Posts : 1836

₡amisado wrote:: Actually, just make it a trophy in the shape of my face that is entirely made of golden dicks. I can make that a centerpiece in my dorm room and impressed all the ladies. "What? This old thing? This is just an award I got for being told to sit on so many dicks so many times. Yeah, impressive, I know."

So you plan to seduce the ladies with your dickface?