| | Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] | |
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Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Fri 07 Jun 2013, 10:55 pm | |
| 砂漠午前-THE INFO-砂漠午前 漠-Jinchuriki of the Gobi-漠 Name: Mogozuki, Ogatami. Nickname: Although trivial in comparison to other geriatric shinobi such a Jonin who've had a lifetime to accumulate titles within their own personal records, it is without a doubt thatOgatami has also received a few nicknames of note due to his personal and military duties as a ninja. The nicknames he'd received are exclusive to certain groups of people he'd encountered or establishments in which he participates in based on his personal specializations. From aspersions, compliments, remarks and felicitations, two small titles have followed Ogatami since his youth that would probably stick with him for years to come, they are as follows: |: Oga-kun - Is Ogatami's most common nickname amongst his pears and others around his age group. Because of his respected and popular personality, -kun is added to his nickname as a sign of respect from his peers and his teammates. Typically he is called just 'Oga' by those who've just met him, but that quickly changes once they've grown accustomed to his powerful presence. |:Oga of the Forest - Is a codename he created within the Academy that stuck with him for many years. There are a few components in which the name was first created, one of which is due to his connection with nature due to the powers of the Gobi. Another reason is due to his like for walking through the forests and talking to wildlife. It is hinted that in the future, Ogatami will be refereed to as ,"Konoha's Forest Walker", for more famed reasons than a simple codename. Age: 11. Gender: Male. Appearance: Violet Eyes, Long Black Hair, Fair Skin, 5'2 120lbs.
Over the course of the years since adolescents, Oga has very much matured both physically and mentally. Being a powerful descendant from the eminent Mogozuki clan, his skin is naturally a rich honey color. A benefit is his natural genetic beauty and skin tone is that he has no dark circles, pimples, or anything that would tarnish his illustrious complexion. Oga's face is very beautiful and masculine, even for his young age. He has illuminated violet eyes that he'd inherited from his mother, who villagers says reminds them of sacred gems. He has long black eyelashes that blanket his moon crescent eyes. Although peaceful, his eyes are sharp and powerful. They could probably intimidate even the most brute of men and can seduce most women who follow chastity. His eyebrows are somewhat bushy, although their defined appearance makes them look sharp. He possesses no facial hair on his face besides his long side-burns that extend a few inches below his ear. His chin is large and pointy, and leads to a sharp oval shaped jaw which one can define as a strong feature. His nose is very perky and small, but has oddly large nostrils that most people of that nose would have. Like all Mogozuki he has jet-black hair, however he has dyed his hair to an orange color. His hair is long and and straight which is quite common in his family who are also beautiful. However he is fond of spiking his hair up with an expensive gel while also putting it into a large pony-tail that extends to his tailbone. Threw continuous training and activity Oga has matured much faster then those of the village could anticipate. His once lean muscles are now bulkier and more heavy set. Although not the village macho, Oga could possibly be the most athletic kid at this age in Konohagakure. Oga is also rather lean which synches perfectly with his bulky stature. He has no sharp edges around his muscles, making every angle of his physic smooth and strong. He is a height of now 5'2, which is still pretty short compared to most boys. Due to his increase in muscle he now weighs 120lbs. Oga is very intuit with the traditions of his clans and respects the wholeheartedly. One of those traditions would be wearing the Mogozuki clan's uniform which he considers not only honorable but definably fashionable. To start he wears a white fishnet shirt under his clothing, different from the standardized black one common amongst most ninja. Over that he wears a V-neck purple shirt with lose sleeves that extend forearm length. To match his white undershirt, Oga wears a pair of long white leather gloves with the clan's symbol stitched on it's backhand. He wears knee length purple sweatpants and over them he wears a white plated groin piece. For footwear, he wears a pair of tubular white socks that cover his entire shin and a pair of slit-toe sandals. Overall his clothing and physical appearance accentuates the exotic image of a purple lily in blossom.
Forehead Protector: Back.
Personality: Being raised in a loving and quite moderate home in Konohgakrue, Oga has developed a fun and happy personality. He is very kind to everyone for whom he finds friendly and treats them as he would be treated. He believes that everyone has a roll in life and no one enters your life without reasoning. For that, he takes into account what people have to say and what they themselves stand for. This has caused him to sometimes over analyze peoples reactions to different things and not pay attention to his own. Oga also loves to communicate and socialize with individuals, sometimes taking the mental personal of a gossiper even though he denies it. When speaking of topics with great interests to him Oga can go on and on about it, but with the ironic fact that he never sounds like a broken record. He always has different angles and perceptions about different things, some of which he gains from talking to people. Due to his talkative nature he has learned to read between the lines of what people are trying to say, but also control what comes out of his own mouth. He never says things without thinking despite common belief. Oga also is very spiritual and hopeful about life and the path of a Ninja. When younger he was very confused about what his life was about, and why he was even born. But now, he has mentally matured enough to know that life is what you make it, and being a Ninja isn't a life full of pain. Threw his hopeful nature he inspires and guides younger individuals and even people older then himself.
One of Oga's favorite activities is socializing with his fellow comrades in the village restaurants. He always had a liking of public eating places even with his past bad experiences. Although with his love for restaurants he hardly ever orders food, but takes it more of a socializing event. He likes taking his teammates or sensei's to restaurants to talk about nearly anything. He is very fond of the many waiters in Konohagakure, so much that he doesn't even need to tip them. For a long time now Oga has developed a liking for the art of shopping. He loves looking at different outfits and weapons and dreaming buying everything in the store. Sometimes he has trouble spending ryo at shops, causing him to have a minor shopping addiction. His favorite food is his mothers pork chops although he hates the way they bloat him afterward. His favorite activity however is without a doubt doing his job as a medic within the village hospital. Like himself, his entire clan are ninjutsu specialists who serve within the domestic center and on the field. Although a small clan in general, consisting of only a handful of members, Oga hopes to one day be the most powerful Mogozuki to ever exist, and to one day take rule over the clan.
Oga doesn't like when people disrespect his beloved village or insult the Kage. Spending many years in the village and making bonds with its residents, Oga is very sensitive towards the village pride. Insulting his village is equivalent to insulting Oga himself, which he doesn't take kindly. He also doesn't like when he's incapable of helping a patient because he's not skilled enough. It tarnishes his spirit to know that he couldn't help or save someones life because of his rank. However things like that in return make him stronger by wanting to improve himself and his skill.
Oga's goal is honestly quite trivial for a Genin within the village. He looks forward to becoming an powerful shinobi whose name will be spoken with pride through the mouths of his villagers. He wants to be able to kill whoever poses a threat to Konoha to ensure peace within his village. More importantly however, he wants more than anything to be the greatest ninjutsu specialist to ever walk the earth, capable of defeating any enemy that crosses him. With his studying habits and work ethic he is quickly gaining notoriety within the domestic field, even by the eyes of the Chief, who he looks upon as a role model. More short-term goals would be to become a licensed officer and protect the villagers.
Clan: Mogozuki [Casual]. Nindō: The life of a shinobi is about war, both internal and external. Fighting will always exist."
腺-The Ninja-腺 Origin: Fire Country Affiliation: Konohagakure no Sato. Rank: Genin. Specialties: Ninjutsu - Weaponry [Close & Long] \ Status: Active Jinchuriki, Five Tails.Chakra Capacity: 285 (Massive).Elemental Affinities: Main Element: [Fuuton Release]. Sub Element: [Raiton Release]. Additional Element(s): [Suiton Release]. [Katon Release]. [Doton Release]. Combat Style: When first engaging in battle, Ogatami prefers to use his abilities to sense the elemental nature of his opponent. Doing so allows him to automatically counter his opponent with a opposing element, giving him an advantage before the battle already begun. He is a mid to long range fighter currently, who excels in barraging his targets with Ninjutsu. Although having massive chakra reserves, he prefers to finish his opponents rather quickly with a single technique, and saving his energy for more suitable situations. Aside from countering his target, Ogatami chooses his elements based on the environment around him. For example, if the battlefield is drenched in water, he will likely use raiton techniques to give a more devastating effect. With more mastery over his abilities, Oga can unleash more powerful elemental combination techniques to destroy multiple people at once, or even more impenetrable targets. Although still new to this skill, his raw power and talent makes him capable of using such a feat with deadly force.When stationed in a cell or platoon, Oga prefers to take the front line since he is usually the most powerful offensive. He encourages teamwork on the field and using everyone's skill in harmonious collaboration. If the fight is becoming too dragged out, he will become more irritable and work more independently to get the job done. Rarely does he engage in physical combat, but if he does he prefers to enhance his taijutsu with ninjutsu abilities, until he learns a martial combat style from a sensei. Outside of combat, Ogatami is very skilled in survival and navigation, thanks to his link with nature. He tries to avoid unnecessary combat as much as possible, and directs his comrades away from harms way when on missions.
Special Characteristics: - Code:
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[b]Name:[/b] One with Nature [b]Rank:[/b] E-S (Passive) [b]Type: [/b]Chakra - Miscellaneous [b]Requirements:[/b] Gobi [b]Description[/b]: The user gains the Gobi's ability to sync with nature and connect with the universe on a more spiritual level. The user gains the ability to sense the nature types in others in close proximity. They also gain the ability of ecological empathy where they can sense the physical and spiritual conditions of all wildlife and vegetation around them. Such things could be as small as telling if a plant or animal needs water to even forecasting the weather a few weeks ahead.
腺-The Background-腺 History:
- Spoiler:
Parents: One would find it difficult to find such a bright and enthusiastic individual such as Zigato. He was a kind and simple man, he didn't indulge himself in ninja politics nor seek the life of honor as many claim to want but never fully possess. He lived in the village of Kusa all of life in a apartment complex near the marketing district. He was a stunning man with long black hair, tan skin and a masculine face. He was born into a traditional clan is Kusa who weren't a spectacular but they were well known for their friendliness. Zigato made his living by selling herbs which he would pick during weekend near Kusa's forest area. He had a natural talent for agricultural studies and he sold his herbs for ryo at a small shop he had off the corner of his home. Back in that time Kusa was still a some-what poor civilization, and everything was a bit more rural.
One day when out in the forests near the countryside of Kusa, Zigato was heard footsteps into the darkness as he placed his final pickings inside his basket. Startled, he quickly covered his items and looked around to see what was around him, but all he saw were the shadows of the night. Laughter broke out between the trees across from him, and five men appeared from the trees, all wearing masks and twirling weapons. Zagoto wasn't a ninja, and he didn't know how to protect himself, especially from rogue nukenin. Backing up into couple of shrubs, he was cornered, and the nukenin were slowly approaching with murderous intent in their eyes. One of them took their chained hook and lunged it at Zagato, and before the blade touched his skin, it was grabbed by a woman who appeared with instantaneous speed. She was remarkably beautiful, flowing white hair, marble white skin, gray eyes, and tattoos going down both her arms. Zagato was startstruck, and before he finished his speechless admiration, she quickly leaped over to the nukenin and defeated them effortlessly. The bandits ran away with broken arms and ribs, receiving their karma for their dishonorable ways. The woman turnned back to Zigato and smiled. The two locked eyes, it was love at first sight. Her name was Amai, Amai Gichiga.
After their first encounter the two of them became a remarkable couple. They fell in love rather quickly and eventually moved in together after a few years of intense dating. Both Zagato and Amai now lived in a large home in the hillsides of Konoha, with had a beautiful scenery with a perfect sunset. Zagato continued his profession in selling herbs and plants at his local shop, and Amai continued to perform her Jonin tasks in the village. Eventually Amai became pregnant, which caused her to leave her ninja duties and stay home to tend to her health. Zagato was ecstatic to become a father, and from then on the small soon-to-be family lived what many would call a perfect life.
Bijuu Arc - Sealing of Gobi: Something happened during the time of Amai's pregnancy, dark energy swarmed the entire country side of Kusa which was felt by nearly anyone. The sky became dark with raging black clouds and the winds turnned into roaring gales which blown the fine trees of Konoha off their roots. Amai, who was in labor during that time was unable to flee her home on the countryside to avoid what was coming. Zagato and her stayed within their small home and prayed that Kusa's military would come to their aid. From the eclipse of the great darkness, a ominous stomping sound echoed across the valley. The animals raced across the field around Zagato's home, endless numbers of them all of which fleeing the unstoppable power coming their way. Zagato knew something was wrong, and he'd have to react quick to save his wife and unborn daughter. He lifted his wife with all of might, and raced out of the house carrying her in his arm. Running across the grassy fields he looked behind him, only to see the great bijuu Gobi swarming in on him from the distance, spraying chakra onto the sacred gardens of Kusa.
They've made it to the village safely, and took refuge at the village hospital. The baby was coming quickly, and Amai was about to conceive in the midst of a great attack on such a small village. Gobi had arrived, and caused massive destruction on Konoha. It rained the elements down onto the wooden buildings, and destroyed landmasses with its menacing chakra ball. When Etsu was born, his mother had passed away in labor which left Zagato in a comatose state of depression. A councilmen had an idea which would forever change the life of Etsu, and the village. Etsu's mother, Amai, had special markings upon her arm which were not tattoos, but ancient clan seals. The council wanted to transmute those seals onto Etsu, and serve them as a seal to capture and seal the Gobi within Etsu. Since Etsu was linked to her mother by blood, transferring the seals were a quick and easy process by the user of jutsu.
The Gobi finally arrived at the village hospital, where it fell right into the villagers hands. All nine council members chanted a powerful fuinjutsu spell which caused the Gobi to become sucked into baby Etsu's seal located on his stomach. It was a gory process and the Gobi screamed with rage a final time which created a shockwave around Etsu. The wave blown the council members acres away, and destroyed a large quarter of the hospital, including his Zagato. With the long trial and tribulation completed, the young Etsu now hosted the Gobi within herself. The village was rebuilt over time, but blame and intolerance would forever plague the young Etsu for hosting such a terrible creature that destroyed many.
Childhood Arc: Etsu spent most of her childhood alone. Even at his early years of adolescents she was looked down upon by her fellow villagers, being seen as an abomination to this world. She was teased and beaten by her peers, which caused her to suffer from low self-esteem and self hate. She stayed at a village foster home with other kids who've lost their parents in the field. She was horded inside a room with four other young kids who were terribly afraid of her, claiming that they were bunkering with a demon. Etsu nights were full of tears and sorrow. She had no family, no mother, nor father, simply her and her growing hatred.
Life got better for Etsu as she fell into the arms of a newly acquired friend, Kaneko. He was a nice old man who was sort of a father figure to Etsu. He was one of the only individuals whose treated Etsu like a human being and has shown kindness to her during hard times. She continued to reside in her foster home but would usually spend some nights at Kaneko's home which he didn't mind. Upon reaching the age of five, Etsu enrolled in the academy.
Academy Arc: Etsu was a quiet student in the Academy who displayed excellent talents in nearly all forms of ninjutsu. She was a natural in at nearly everything that was learned to her, including being an adverse thinker and strategist. The other young kids in the academy didn't seem to mind Etsu too much. Their ignorance was bestowed to them by their parents which knew the secrets of the Gobi and Etsu's pass, but to their children, Etsu was just a hated kid for no apparent reason. However there were some individuals who liked the idea of Etsu being different, such Yishini and his friends. All of them formed some sort of clique in their academy, four young boys and a girl causing mischief and mayhem across the academy. Having the idea of 'friends' uplifted Etsu very much so, and it was nice doing normal things for once instead of brooding.
It was also this time that Etsu started to come into the attention of the Hokage, whose been keeping a close eye on Etsu's activity. One day when Etsu left the academy after late training, he stumbled into the Hokage who was waiting at the entrance just to see him. She was a bit weirded by the random appearance and interest, but he knew that she had answers that Azien needed to ask. The two sat on the playground swings and had a long discussion. It was odd seeing the Hokage sitting on a swing like a regular shinobi, but Etsu wasn't a fool, there were probably about twenty ANBU watching from the trees. The Hokage didn't sugarcoat anything, he told her what she was and how important it was to believe in herself. Taking these words to heart, Etsu had a more positive outlook on life.
Graduation time had finally approached and it was time to see who was skilled enough to become Genin. Etsu graduated at the top of his class, displaying temondous feets of strength, speed, and flawless talent. Many Jonin that attended the ceremony said she was the spitting image of her mother, who also was a talented ninja.
Roleplay Sample:
- Spoiler:
The Administration Building upheld its name for being the most clean and professional of all the great organizations that Kumogakure had to offer. Like most buildings in the village it was rather immense and crafted in stone, to serve for obvious protection against thunder storms and lightning. Although the great Lightning Rods located at the top of the village mountains served as the magnet for the lightning strikes which occasionally radiated from the sky, on rare occasions sometimes one or two bolts will strike the village without warning. Besides the rough rock structure of the building, the Administration was highly decorated with many streamers and drapes. Some say that the Raikage designed the layout of the building herself, while others say its design was dated during the Ninja Wars. Either way it was the perfect spot which served as the nexus for military operations, and also the spot where annoying Genins complained by their unwanted missions.
Kinu stood behind a large wooden desk that was owned and worked upon by a rather stereotypical secretary woman. She had long black hair that was wrapped in a pony tail and a pair of black horn-rimmed glasses that settle perfectly on her pointy nose. Like most villagers in Kumogakure she was dark skinned and muscular, although still retaining her thin a feminine like feature. She supported her head on her hand with only her elbow to secure her stability. It was obvious that she was rather tired this time in the morning, and having Kinu there didn't help the situation. After being informed about a mission the night before by his father Izaku, Kinu decided to leave extra early the morning after to ensure that he would be the first one to arrive. He was always ready for a mission and eager to prove his masculinity and power to his comrades, even though he always gave the image of a dorky schoolboy at times. He was also informed just recently by the desk lady that another Genin will accomplice him in the mission, creating a trio instead of a duo in which he had thought. The lady casually rolled back from her chair and retrieved a letter from behind her desk, and presented it to Kinu in hopes of him taking it. Kinu kindly denied the letter for now, and told the lady he'll take the letter after he uses the restroom.
While in the bathroom Kinu contemplated the layout of the mission and reminisced about what could happen. He had been to Iron Country before but never for mission like purposes such as this. Looking into the clean mirror above the sink, Kinu fixed the imperfections in his clothing. His red over-sized shirt was rather wrinkly as he forgot to iron it before he left his house as usual. Repetitively he would flatten down the wrinkles with his fingers but only to be retaliated by the wrinkles popping back in place. Giving up he moved on to his short black hair which was spiked and combed downward on his head. Rinsing his fingers with the cool water from the sink, he retained some of its moisture and attacked his head with primal ferocity. His hair flung upwards and shook which caused his neat black spikes to turn into nappy black needles. Although quite messy, his hair actually was cool-looking to his perspective.
Finishing up, Kinu exited the restroom and made his way back to the Administration Desk with the intention of waiting a few more hours for his teammates. He walked casually down the large hallway and subconsciously admired its vacuumed and shampooed carpeting. Before turning the corner, the voice of a young boy became heard to Kinu. ""Hello, My name is Karamu Tomasu and I am here about the letter to be taken to Iron country and back that will secure unity." The young boy said at the to the desk lady. Kinu was still around the corner of the hallway and not yet seen by anyone from the front desk. He peeked around the corner and saw the young boy who he obviously knew was his teammate. He had a long sleeved black shirt that was rather low cut, almost like a V-neck. With that, most of his torso was shown but yet became unglamorous with the scars he had on his chest. But what struck Kinu out was his black jacket with the fur hood, Kinu thought it was quite fashionable. He watched as Karamu made his way to the seat by the wall after being handed the letter. "Wow... that boys kinda ugly..." Kinu thought while making a stink face.
Finally turning the hall to greet his teammate, he was beaten by another young man who just entered the door. Kinu caught glimpse of him as he stepped in, a half-way decent looking boy he looked quite average clothe wise. But why on earth was he wearing shades? It was still early morning and the sun didn't even say hello yet. But in any sense he spoken at a tone similar to that of a ghost. "I'll assume that you are my teammate, then... Unagi, Koma. K-O-M-A. Koma." He said as if everyone in the room was mentally retarded. Kinu including the desk woman rolled their eyes, and released a sigh in conjoined harmony.
"Well hello my fellow comrades, its very nice to meet you both..." He greeted with a sarcastic cough that he knew was undetectable. "My name is Kinu Yamazaru, and I guess I'm the last member of this squad. So everyone knows the dealio right?" He said while looking at Karamu. "We take the letter to Iron Country and get it signed by the delegates, sounds easy enough eh?" He said while casually walking pass Unagi and to the door. Kinu grabbed the door knob and opened it with a gentle twist. "Kunoichi first?" He said like a gentlemen.
FACE CLAIM. Character Claim: Misaki, YataSource: K ProjectImage URL: https://s1199.photobucket.com/user/DemetriSage/media/eb0cf2a1-dec0-4253-bda5-4aa7f889cbd8_zpscd4763ab.jpg.html?state=copy
Last edited by DemetriSage on Fri 28 Jun 2013, 1:57 am; edited 15 times in total |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Fri 07 Jun 2013, 11:27 pm | |
| -The Arsenal- -Academy
- Spoiler:
Name: Bunshin no Jutsu • Clone Technique Rank: E Type: Genjutsu Range: N/A Medium: Optical Element: N/A Description: This technique creates identical clones of the user. However, they hold no actual substance and will disperse upon impact of an attack or contact with an opponent. They cannot disrupt the area around themselves with their movements; won’t kick up dust, crush grass, etc. They are simply optical illusions used to momentarily fool others. Chakra Cost: 1CP per 5 clones
Name: Henge no Jutsu • Transformation Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique transforms the user’s appearance to that of another object or person. However, it is not a permanent transformation and a mental image of what they are transformed into. Certain aspects of a ninja will not change merely by transformation, these things may include injuries, tool pocket placements etc. The jutsu will dispel should the user be injured. The user does not gain the properties of their transformation (ie. horse like strength), and may only transform into something ranging between 1/2 of their regular size, to 2x their regular size. Thus one cannot transform into large creatures. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Kawarimi no Jutsu • Body Replacement Technique Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: 10 meters Element: N/A Description: After performing a tiger seal, this technique allows the user to alter places in a speedy manner with another nearby object. This is done mere seconds before an attack lands, thus making the attacker believe his or his attack was a success. Whatever object was used to alter places will receive the brunt of the enemy’s attack instead. The object that the user switches with must be preset somewhere else in the thread, meaning that the object must have received specific mention previously in the thread. Chakra Cost: 2
Name: Explosive Tag: Activate Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to activate an explosive tag they have planted somewhere. Preferably they should be within close to mid range and visible to the user. You cannot activate another persons explosive tags unless your chakra has been channeled into them beforehand. Chakra Cost: 1 (per 3 explosive notes)
Name: Kai • Release Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: By stopping the flow of chakra in their body, and then applying an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; the user may dispel the effects of a genjutsu. This can also be used on another individual that is stuck in a genjutsu by preforming the necessary hand seal and then touching them, although it consumes half the chakra cost of the Genjutsu. Chakra Cost: Cost of Genjutsu + 2CP
Name: Nawanuke no Jutsu • Escaping Skill Rank: E Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to free themselves should they be tied up. It is extremely basic. Using their physical training, the user will twist and contort their body to loosen their bindings, effectively relieving themselves of the tightness of their bindings and slipping through the restraints. This technique can only be used if the user is of equal or higher rank than their captor. Chakra Cost: 1
Name: Chozou no Jutsu • Storage Technique Rank: E Type: Fuuinjutsu, Supplementary Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: N/A Description: A simple jutsu that allows a ninja to seal or unseal any item, mostly weapons, from scrolls or from their body. After forming the necessary handsigns, the ninja will seal the item into a scroll etc. Scrolls can also be used as ammunition for other weapons or have other seals inside of them, which expands the number of potential tricks a shinobi can use. The items themselves are unaffected by time. Ninjutsu can also be stored in scrolls, to be released when the scroll is opened, but require another person to cast said Ninjutsu; else it cannot be sealed. Chakra Cost: 1 to seal; 1 to unseal.
Name: Suimen Hokou no Waza • Act of Water Surface Walking Rank: D Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: NA Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on water by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet or hands. Because of water’s nature, this requires the user to be quick to adjust the amount of chakra they must emit to their feet in order to maintain a constant balance. Users may also walk, run and “skate” across the water when using this technique. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Name: Kinobori no Waza • Act of Tree Climbing Rank: D Type: N/A Range: N/A Element: N/A Description: This technique allows the user to balance themselves on trees and vertical walls by focusing a constant and steady stream of chakra to the user’s feet. Gravity can easy be defined if this technique is mastered, allowing people to even stand upside down. If too much chakra is exerted the user will be pushed away; bark breaking and causing the user to then fall. If not enough chakra is exerted the user will lose their footing and fall. Chakra Cost: 1 (1 per post)
Weaponry
- Spoiler:
Name: [Bukijutsu: String Reeling Technique]. Rank: D. Type: Weaponry. Range: Close (0m - 5m). Element: N/A. Description: Ayatsuito no Jutsu is a technique utilizing wire. This string can be used in rappelling, or as a method to tie down and restrict the movement of an opponent. The properties of the wire also allows the user to guide fire down it with any number of Katon Jutsu. Chakra Cost: 4.
Name: [Bukijutsu: Shadow Shuriken Technique]. Rank: D. Type: Weaponry. Range: Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+). Element: N/A. Description: It's an extremely simple technique where two shuriken, like the Fūma Shuriken, are piled one onto another and thrown simultaneously. However, depending on the way it's used, it can prove its absolute efficiency. The trick is to somehow draw the enemy's attention towards the upper shuriken. Then, to deal with the path of the lower shuriken. If the enemy notices both shuriken, the technique ends up losing all of its efficiency. Chakra Cost: 3.
Name: [Bukijutsu: Torpedo Needles]. Rank: C. Type: Weaponry. Range: Close (0m - 5m). Element: N/A. Description: Removing nails from his or her pocket, the user will throw them into the air and then plant them tip first into the earth. Using his or her chakra the nails will travel into the ground. Then at his or her discretion, he or she can fire the nails from the ground through the feet of his or her target to nail them in place. He or she can then fire the remaining nails from the ground to cut his target to pieces. Ninja wire can be attached to the nail under the users discretion. Chakra Cost: 7.
Name: [Bukijutsu: Shadow Wire Assassination]. Rank: C. Type: Weaponry. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: N/A. Description: A more advanced form of wire manipulation that can be used for many purposes for ensnaring multiple targets at once within a general area. In a premeditated use, the shinobi can booby trap an area with ninja wire secretly running along the walls or floor, or even on the ceiling. When targets are within in the room, the user skillfully strings the wire to bind the targets, although they must be entirely focused whilst doing so. More skilled applications of this technique allow for one to ensnare targets individually, instead of rounding them up all at once. This technique can be used on any general area that can provide coverage for both the user and the wires. Chakra Cost: 6.
- Spoiler:
Name: [Lightning Release: Lightning Sparrow Technique]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Raiton (Lightning). Description: By manipulating lightning chakra into their hand, the user can make the lightning expand to create the form of a large bird. The bird remains connected to the user's hand through small aerial sparks, allowing them to control it during its attacks although much concentration is needed to sustain it's performance. The lightning bird delivers a powerful electric shock to the target and can cause numbing pain. Chakra Cost: 7.
Name: [Lightning Release: Raijin Shuriken]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Raiton (Lightning). Description: The user channels raiton chakra around themselves and accumulates visible electrical sparks around their body just for the sake of conjuring the the attack. After formulating a basic seal, several trinity-tomoe shaped discs of lightning will begin to form around the user. They will rotate in a increased velocity and will be launched at the target in great speed. The discs are similar to shuriken in many aspects, such as movement and striking ability. They are capable of piercing and delivering a powerful shock upon contact. Chakra Cost: 6.
Name: [Lightning Release: Son of Raijin]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m). Element: Raiton (Lightning). Description: A customary lightning technique developed for strong offensive purposes, and thus takes its ranking within Ogatami's arsenal as a powerful finisher. It is the lesser variant of the more concentrated parent technique [Father of Raijin] and is more suitable to a user of lesser capability. This technique is performed by formulating a sequence of hand seals and manifesting a large, yet unstable amount of lightning chakra into the hand. The lightning takes the form of a miniature thundercloud around the user's hand, approximately a few feet in diameter. At this techniques current level, it is only capable of delivering a powerful shock to those who come within physical contact with it. Or, at a short distance, the user can hurl the thundercloud at a target before it disperses. Like other lightning based techniques, its carnage only increases with the addition of water. Chakra Cost: 8[2].
- Spoiler:
Name: [Fire Release: Fireball] Rank: D-A Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m – 10m) Element: Katon (Fire) Description: Katon • Endan is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. After doing the necessary hand seals, the ninja draws chakra to their lungs before swiftly exhaling it, allowing them to blow a jet of fire from their mouth. Depending on the rank at which it is performed, Endan ranges in size and heat. Starting at a moderate level of heat and a reach of up to 3m, at D rank, and increasing in temperature to an intense heat and up to a 10m reach, when performed at A rank. Chakra Cost: D: 4 (1 per post), C: 5 (2 per post), B: 12 (3 per post), A: 23 (5 per post)
Name: [Fire Release: Mythical Fire Phoenix Technique] Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Katon (Fire) Description: Katon • Housenka no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals and then emits a series of small fire balls. The ninja can also hurl a projectile which is covered in these same flames. To the opponent the attack appears to be only the balls of flame, they do not see the hidden threat within the flames. Meaning that even if the flames are put out, the projectiles still converge on the target. The flames can be used to cover different projectiles like shuriken or kunai. Chakra Cost: 5
Name: [Fire Release: Geisha Dance]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m). Element: Katon (Fire). Description: The user first imbues their blade with fire, before performing several slashes in the direction of the desired enemy, resulting in the creation of five thin fiery arcs of flames that follow the trajectory of the previous swings. Each lash is capable of inflicting burns, however, the burning becomes more severe with areas with persistent exposure equivalent to a Gōkakyū. The slashes can be performed in a variety of performances such as all in one direction in several, attacking numerous target's at once. Chakra Cost: 6.
Name: [Fire Release: Great Dragon Fire Technique]. Rank: B. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+). Element: Katon. Description: The user compresses a large amount of chakra built up inside their body and changes it into a dragon-shaped fireball. The user then skillfully manipulates that great fire, and attacks their opponent. Even outside of the attack range, its power and reliability are stressed. The flames have a high temperature, as they can create an upward movement of air currents which in turn can give rise to thunder clouds. A master of this technique can fire off several flames in succession and anyone caught in the technique could be severely burned. No more than 3 extra fireballs may be created. Chakra Cost: 15 (+5 for each additional fireball).
- Spoiler:
Name: [Wind Release: Storm Owls]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Fuuton (Wind) Description: Arashi no Fukurou is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Wind Element. Ogatami summons a gale of wind from his chakra which separates into three wind entities which resemble large owls that bolt towards their target in a single direction. Being spawned from the wind element they are capable of concussive and some scraping impact. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: [Wind Release: Owl Gale]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Fuuton (Wind). Description: Ouru Kyōfū is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Wind Element. By performing the tiger and ram seal, Ogatami can summon a powerful gale from his mouth which is capable of rebelling airborne weapons and sending it back to its direction, along with the gale itself. Those caught within the invisible gale will receive cuts on their body by the air-blades hidden within the techniques wind. Chakra Cost: 6
Name: [Wind Release: Owl Nest]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m). Element: Fuuton (Wind). Description: Ogatami spins and creates a powerful gales in all directions around himself. The invisible gales are capable of repelling attacks with its brutal force along with inflicting those susceptible with cuts while blowing them back a few yards. Chakra Cost: 7
- Spoiler:
Name: [Water Release: Water Drowning Technique]. Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m) Element: Suiton (Water) Description:[/b] The ninja first does a string of hand seals, which causes a column of water to rise from a nearby water source. It can be guided to strike a target in a number of angles. Chakra Cost: 5 (1 per post)
Name: [Water Release: Stormy Upheaval]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Suiton (Water). Description: This technique allows the user to summon a large volume of water; roughly the size of a waterfall, crushing it into the opponent. If needed, the user can cancel the technique in just an instant. Chakra Cost: 8.
Name: [Water Release: Water Clone Technique] Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: N/A Element: Suiton (Water) Description: Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique that utilizes water to create a Bunshin clone. Unlike a normal Bunshin, the Mizu Bunshin has the ability to interact more with the environment due to it having physical substance. This allows the clone to carry out limited attacks on its target, but none utilizing chakra. The range of the clone is limited however, it can not travel further than 10 meters from the original body. If the Mizu Bunshin is injured, the clone will usually revert back into its natural water state. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: [Water Release: Water Dragon Projectile Technique]. Rank: B. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m), Far (10+). Element: Suiton. Description: Suiton • Suiryuudan no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Water Element. The ninja does a long string of hand seals which then causes a column of water in the form of a dragon to rise from the water and then strike their target. Chakra Cost: 12 (3 per post).
- Spoiler:
Name: [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism]. Rank: C. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m), Mid (5m - 10m). Element: Doton (Earth). Description: This technique causes the ground to tremble and minerals to rise from the earth to mold fifteen small jagged shuriken after the completion of it's hand seals. When a target is within close range, the stone shuriken can be summoned in all directions of the target and thus can strike in different angles. If the target is in distance, Ogatami can fire the shuriken towards them in a barraging assault. Chakra Cost: 5CP
Name: [Earth Release: Earthen Rising Spears]. Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: This technique lets the user condense mud or stone, from the ground, and shape them into spikes that will protrude from the ground in order to skewer the target. The spikes are brittle, and can be broken with a strong blow or tough defense. Chakra Cost: 7
Name: [Earth Release: Manifested Barricade Technique]. Rank: B. Type: Ninjutsu. Range: Close (0m - 5m). Element: Doton. Description: A useful defensive based technique requiring an earthen based chakra nature and adequate level shape manipulation for aesthetic purposes. It is simply involves creating a wall of protective earth in front of the user after spewing mud from their mouths. The mud quickly molds to a large wall of rock and expands around the user in a crescent arc, making it capable of protecting both the caster and their nearby allies when in close proximity. In Ogatami's case, hos chakra naturally shapes the wall in the form of a large owl, with its wings being the protective shield. Chakra Cost: 12.
- Genjutsu:
Name: [Bukijutsu: Shadowing Wiring Technique]. Rank: D. Type: Genjutsu. Medium: Optical. Range: N/A. Element: N/A. Description: This technique is fundamental to a shinobi skilled in the use of wire manipulation and ninjutsu. It is similar to other techniques of its caliber such as the shadow shuriken technique that involves hiding a secondary weapon under its shadow. In this application, the user creates clone images of preexisting wire, making the wire seem longer and abundant that what it really is. When used in a trap setting, the user can use this technique to create different images of multiple fake wire traps, to scare off or trick opponents. Even though these wires are simply shadow images, and disperse once touched. It can be used however, to conceal the real wires under their illusion. The shadow wires are extremely fragile to disperse, with even noticeable gales obscuring their image. Thus, this technique is usually performed indoors or within closed spaces, or in quick combat situations. Chakra Cost: 3 [1]
-Kit
- Spoiler:
Name: Genin Kit Rank: C Quantity: 1 Contents: 6 Kunai [6], 10 Shuriken [5], 9 Senbon [3], 10 Makibishi [2], 4 Exploding Notes [4], 3 Exploding Pouches [1], 3 Smoke Pellets [1], 12m String [4], 1 Windmill Shuriken [5], 1 File & Scissor [1].
Weaponry- Spoiler:
Name: Jigokuu Uchiwa, "Underworld Fan." Rank: C. Type: Close Range - War Fan. Appearance: The Jigokuu is a primary hand-held weapon wielded by Ogatami, and is a the lowest variant of it's full potential form. Like most Gunbai, it is a s a non-folding fan made out of durable hard oak. It is almost equal in size to its user, which makes it about five feet in length, and two feet in width. Since this weapon is a clan heirloom, the Mogozuki's symbol is signed on the top portion of the fan. The stem of the weapon is wrapped in dark red bandages, which is used for the grabbing and handling of the weapon. Quantity: 1. Storage: Ten Slots. [Carried on Ogataimi's Back]. Special Abilities: At its current stage, the Jigokuu possesses the regular qualities of a low ranked primary weapon. It can parry weapons of equal or lower rank of its own without damage. Being a Gunbai, it can be used as an offensive flail, or a defensive shield. Its wooden edges can cause painful blunt force trauma. Its fan component, which is also made out of a thinner, yet still durable quality, can protect from the user as well. Aside from it's basic features, the Jigokuu can also be used as a summoning medium as well. After swiping their blood on the fan, and slamming it down on a surface, or swinging it, the user can call upon their summoning creature for aid.
Name: Sunaya Kibō, "Sunaya's Hope." Rank: C. Type: Close Range - Katana. Appearance: Kibō, or, "Hope", is a beautiful custom made foreign katana that was given to Ogatami as a gift. Its metal is burnished to to mirror reflection, with a crimson and gold stringed hilt. The sheath is a all black metal case with gold enrichment and designs drawn on it. Quantity: 1. Storage: Ten Slots. [Carried on Waist]. Special Abilities: Has the properties of a standard katana. It has a curved, slender, single edged blade up to three feet in length, squared guard, and long grip to accommodate two hands. As such, it has become renowned for its sharpness and cutting ability. Hope has unique mystical properties as a result of it being bonded with Ogatami and his spiritual powers. If wished, Hope, is capable of showcasing a multi-colored ghostly energy from its blade that points to areas of natural life. If the user is in need of food, water, or natural shelter, the blade will display this energy and point the bearer to a nearby area of refuge; accessible at it's B-rank state.
Last edited by DemetriSage on Sat 29 Jun 2013, 1:58 am; edited 25 times in total |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Tue 11 Jun 2013, 5:47 pm | |
| I'm still waiting for this to be modded- |
| | | Chris
Age : 28 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Thu 13 Jun 2013, 4:50 pm | |
| Since this is a Jinchuuriki application, I'm going to be extra harsh.
In light of that, the appearance needs to be increased. I would like at least another paragraph please.
I also wouldn't mind an increase to your personality. Keep in mind that you're applying for the Five Tails, and as such, a very powerful Bijuu.
Combat Style needs to be doubled at least. Since you have a Bijuu, you should be able to write quite a lot, considering you can describe how your character fights with and without it.
Here and there I have found a few misspellings and slight mistakes. I would encourage you to read the application over ^^
I will look over the Jutsu once you've done these C: |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Sun 16 Jun 2013, 12:31 am | |
| Updated. |
| | | Chris
Age : 28 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Wed 19 Jun 2013, 7:25 pm | |
| First of all, almost all of your jutsu mention Etsu, your previous character. -_-
[Earth Release: Shuriken Prism]: how many shuriken?
[Earth Release: Golem Punch]: can you elaborate on the explosion?
[Water Release: Graceful Water Slicers]: they can't travel underground. Making water into bladed disks is already quite difficult, but from what I understand, you also want to first have the water travel through the ground or otherwise, before it actually forms the disks. If you meant that the disks can cut through the ground, then again, no they can't.
[Water Release: Vicious Fluids]: far far far too powerful for a C rank. Stick with one vortex, and remove all mentions of shredding targets -_- And their directions can't be manipulated. Not to a large extent at least.
[Wind Release: Storm Owls]: Can't shred anything. Not human-sized - normal sized please.
[Wind Release: Slicing Twister]: Denied for being overpowered. It's more of a B rank, perhaps even an A.
[Wind Release: Owl Gale]: It repels weapons, sends them back at the opponent and also deals damage? All at C? I can agree to the first two, but not the last.
[Wind Release: Owl Nest]: Terrible flesh wounds? No. Please tone it down.
[Fire Release: Emperor Fireball]: Upkeep cost please. Also, did you mean to say that the direction can only be changed once by the last line? Please clarify.
[Fire Release: Senju's Nightmare Treasure]: Denied. It's definitely a B Rank, if not borderline A.
[Fire Release: Geisha Dance]: 'long fiery arcs of intense flames' Dude, it' just a C rank. Calm your horses.
'More skilled users are capable of matching the target's movements with their flame arcs, severely limited their escape routes before setting them aflame.'
But you're not a more skilled user. The effect is as you described. This line shouldn't be in the description.
OVERALL, I have found that you have mistaken the power and effects of C Rank techniques for B if not A Rank jutsu. For the future, I would just like to ask you to tone your customs down. |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Thu 20 Jun 2013, 7:09 pm | |
| - Quote :
- [Wind Release: Owl Gale]: It repels weapons, sends them back at the opponent and also deals damage? All at C? I can agree to the first two, but not the last.
Well what do you expect a powerful gale of wind is suppose to do?
- Quote :
- OVERALL, I have found that you have mistaken the power and effects of C Rank techniques for B if not A Rank jutsu. For the future, I would just like to ask you to tone your customs down.
Updated. |
| | | Chris
Age : 28 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Thu 20 Jun 2013, 7:23 pm | |
| [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism]: knock the number down to 15 please.
[Wind Release: Owl Nest]: Still mentions your old character and is a little unclear, because some words are missing.
Raiton: Raijininguhebun [Lightning Release: Thunder God Haven]: Way too powerful. No paralysis, opponents are only affected when they make physical contact. Since the site doesn't use any (almost) electrical appliances, I don't really see the point to include such a statement in there. And again, you would have to make contact with the appliances or they would need to be very close.
[Lightning Release: Thunder God Shuriken]: Can't cut through most substances and no paralysis, please.
For the other Raiton, could you change [2p] into something more clear e.g. Two Turns.
Oh and the url in your face claim seems to be broken :/ |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Fri 21 Jun 2013, 6:15 am | |
| Updated. |
| | | Chris
Age : 28 Posts : 3145
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Fri 21 Jun 2013, 5:26 pm | |
| Good stuff.
Approved 1/2 |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Sun 23 Jun 2013, 1:34 am | |
| Same as Chris. Since this is a Jinchuuriki application, I am going to be extra harsh. So. With that said. Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry. - Quote :
- Name: [Lightning Release: Lightning Sparrow Technique].
Full body paralysis is something of the B-A rank, and this jutsu should not be able to move at that great a distance from your body. This easily sounds like a B or A rank jutsu, and it reminds me of Kakashi's lightning wolf jutsu, which was S rank, seeing as it's a chidori variation, and lightning jutsu are not normally able to be animated in this sense. The only two I can think of are Kirin from Sasuke, and Kakashi's lightning wolf - see a pattern in rank? At most, this should be able to go 5 or 6 meters from you, and should cause some numbing pain. - Quote :
- Name: [Lightning Release: Thunder God Shuriken].
This sounds like lightning armor and shuriken throwing. Once again, no full body paralysis. It can be painful, and numbing, but nothing too extreme. This is one of the lowest level techniques, at C rank. Keep that in mind. Take out the sparks around the body, specify how many shuriken you're able to create, and take out the paralysis. - Quote :
- Name: [Lightning Release: Son of Raijin].
If you can hold this jutsu over numerous posts, which it sounds like you can, you need to have an upkeep per post, and it needs to be something relatively potent, seeing as this is a powerful almost-chidori-like-jutsu. - Quote :
- Name: [Fire Release: Geisha Dance].
You need to specify how much damage these "arcs" do. I am thinkig like... minor burning, and nothing serious, seeing as it would be annoying to avoid and act as a distraction as well. It should not do much damage. Since I am out of time, and I have to go to work, that's all I can post on for now. I'll finish the rest when I get back. You should remind me though. I have a habit of forgetting. But I'll try and remember. I promise :3 The app looks super good, and nice, it's just that your jutsu are seemingly too powerful for C rank jutsu. They all seem like B rank or A rank jutsu, from what I've seen thus far. And that's after Chris's moderation comments -.-' |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Sun 23 Jun 2013, 6:59 pm | |
| - Quote :
You need to specify how much damage these "arcs" do. I am thinkig like... minor burning, and nothing serious, seeing as it would be annoying to avoid and act as a distraction as well. It should not do much damage. For a C rank? Grand Fireball can or a simple Endan can damn near scorch an individual. So why does my custom C rank only inflict minor burns when its fire, just like everything else. If it hits you, you burn. Plus I already thinned the arcs in comparison to a large fireball, I believe that's adequate enough. That's just my logic, minor burns is something like D.
Updated. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Tue 25 Jun 2013, 11:45 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Name: [Wind Release: Storm Owls].
Too much for a C rank. Make one owl, or specify how much these things "Shred" on impact. If you look at the other C rank jutsu in the encyclopedia, there is not even one of them which "shred on impact." They're just basic, concussive blasts of air. That's what we're looking at for a C ranked jutsu of the air element. Nothing more than something basic. Taking form, making guided, shredding missiles... not C rank. Especially not three. That sounds B or A rank. - Quote :
- Name: [Wind Release: Owl Gale].
*minor flesh wounds. Temari, who is one of the best wind using ninjas in the anime, was only able to do tiny scraps with her trump card jutsu during the chuunin exams. - Quote :
- Name: [Water Release: Water Ring].
Confused as to what this is doing, exactly, seeing as it is not all that clear. But if you're creating anything steadily, you're going to need to give a much more clear indicator of how much is being created. What is more, you're going to have to have an upkeep chakra cost on this, and raise it to AT LEAST C rank. This is the part where I normally say this sounds like a B rank or A rank jutsu :/ - Quote :
- Name: [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism].
*Huff* Too powerful. Anything "seemingly unavoidable" is probably not C rank in level. This is creating large shuriken from the earth that can spring up around someone at any moment and shoot from all angles? B or A rank, probably B rank. I am fine with making shuriken from the earth, but it needs to be a small amount, and it needs to not be able to randomly spring up from all angles. You can make a shuriken, and then throw it. Look at this C ranked encyclopedia jutsu for reference of a typical C rank earth jutsu: - Quote :
- Name: Gansetsukon - Rock Spear
Rank: C Type: Ninjutsu Range: Close (0m - 5m) Element: Doton (Earth) Description: This jutsu allows the user to take a small chunk of rock and turn it into the shape of a staff. The user can then use it as a weapon or throw it at their opponent. Because it is made of thin stone, it is very brittle. Chakra Cost: 5 Alright. Once all of this is done, I'll have another general look over the app to make sure everything I said was indeed updated, and then I'll get to giving you that approval. Sorry if I am coming off as harsh, but almost all of your custom jutsu are way too powerful for the rank at which they're being placed. Either way, the concepts are strong, and they are well written so congratulations on that much. I'll check back soon. |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Wed 26 Jun 2013, 5:31 am | |
| Name: [Wind Release: Storm Owls]. |: Reduced the damage output but kept it at 3 manifestations. Mainly because the entities are small due to them being simply large birds, instead of a huge gale or something.
Name: [Wind Release: Owl Gale].
|: Edited.
Name: [Water Release: Water Ring].
|: Replaced with encylopedia suiton ninjutsu.
Name: [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism].
|: Changed the size. The jutsu requires handseals and the shuriken must be formed from the compression of minerals from the earth, which isn't a instanteous process. So if you're silly enough to stand still during all that then that's your characters dumbness tbh. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Wed 26 Jun 2013, 5:57 am | |
| - Quote :
- Name: [Wind Release: Storm Owls].
|: Reduced the damage output but kept it at 3 manifestations. Mainly because the entities are small due to them being simply large birds, instead of a huge gale or something. Nope. If you can freely manipulate all three, that's two powerful, seeing as that's too much to dodge, unless they're slow as hell. And I am assuming they're not extra slow.
- Quote :
- Name: [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism].
|: Changed the size. The jutsu requires handseals and the shuriken must be formed from the compression of minerals from the earth, which isn't a instanteous process. So if you're silly enough to stand still during all that then that's your characters dumbness tbh. Then there needs to be some kind of way to tell that something is happening in the earth below them. Because this is assuming they're a close ranged fighter you're up against. When that's the case, it's not stupid at all to stay within a close range, and it is not dumb to remain there after the jutsu's activation. It was be metagame to leave just because the RPer knows that you activated a jutsu. Perhaps some kind of trembling takes place when the shuriken are being formed. How about that? |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Wed 26 Jun 2013, 6:10 am | |
| Updated.
Storm owls now move in single direciton.
Added trembling to earth jutsu. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Thu 27 Jun 2013, 11:18 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Name: [Fire Release: Geisha Dance].
You still dont talk about how powerful these arcs are, and I want them to be less powerful than a fireball jutsu. If you want me to list reasons why, I will. I should not really need to, however, seeing as I have made my ruling. They should cause small burns at most. Getting fire slung in your face with numerous arcs is enough to mess you up for a fatal slash with the fire arc creating sword, if you ask me. |
| | | Adam
Age : 30 Posts : 8965
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Fri 28 Jun 2013, 1:45 am | |
| - CleverYamanaka wrote:
-
- Quote :
- Name: [Fire Release: Geisha Dance].
You still dont talk about how powerful these arcs are, and I want them to be less powerful than a fireball jutsu. If you want me to list reasons why, I will. I should not really need to, however, seeing as I have made my ruling. They should cause small burns at most. Getting fire slung in your face with numerous arcs is enough to mess you up for a fatal slash with the fire arc creating sword, if you ask me. Deme if your jutsu is the same chakra cost as the fireball technique it can be the same strength but please try to be specific with what sort of damage it can do. |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Fri 28 Jun 2013, 1:53 am | |
| Updated. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Fri 28 Jun 2013, 11:17 pm | |
| My reasoning was simply this: 1. You seemingly do not need hand seals for this jutsu, making it faster than a fireball jutsu when used, and therefore increasing it's hit rate by a lot. 2. There are numerous arcs, meaning you would have to accumulate the damage of numerous before you could get it up to the fireball jutsu level. 3. This can be shot at numerous targets, unlike the fireball jutsu. 4. Because of this jutsu's ability to be slung in any direction, it could just as easily serve as a potent defense mechanism, unlike the fireball jutsu. Overall, it's a higher level jutsu, which I think should not be as powerful.
That said, how you have it now is simply what I was going for. That you'd have to accumulate these arc strikes before it becomes the level of a fireball. The one thing that I am going to add is that you specify just how many arcs you're getting with the activation of this jutsu; note that, in order to have it be at the same level as a fireball jutsu, you would have to hit the same target with all arcs, logically. Please specify that, and you'll be on your way |
| | | Elder Sage
Age : 31 Posts : 1118
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Sat 29 Jun 2013, 1:58 am | |
| Updated. |
| | | CleverYamanaka
Age : 29 Posts : 1688
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Sun 30 Jun 2013, 8:02 pm | |
| Approved 2/2. If, for any reason, a moderator has an issue with anything posted on this app, feel free to remove it from approval and do work to it. Other than that, I give the second approval on this application.
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Age : 28 Posts : 3640
| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Sun 10 Nov 2013, 1:44 am | |
| Archived due to inactivity. |
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| Subject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] | |
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