Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
Ultimate Shinobi - A Naruto RPG
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Yuki Kohana [wip]

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Yuki Kohana
Yuki Kohana

Age : 28
Posts : 7

Yuki Kohana [wip] Vide
PostSubject: Yuki Kohana [wip] Yuki Kohana [wip] EmptyMon 18 Feb 2013, 9:26 pm

Yuki Kohana [wip] Orochi17THE INFO.

Name: Yuki Kohana
Nickname: Yuki
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Appearance: The appearance of an normal 16 year old girl with her coverup on, but when she takes it off she looks completely different. Her skin is abnormally paper white, even though she is in the Yuki clan. But her eyes are dark brown. Her hair is an long and dark black color and falls to her lower back. She is 5ft 3in(and has stopped growing). Because her skin is paper white, she cannot stay out in the sun too long. She has been known to wear an huge sun hat or carry an umbrella on an sunny day to protect her overly-sensitive skin.
Unlike the other 16 year-olds in her village, her body doesn't have so many curves and she isn't as busty. Because she doesn't eat as much, her weight varys from 89-96 lbs. Yuki usually likes to wear bright clothing unless she is mourning the death of someone close to her.
Forehead Protector: Yuki keeps her forhead protector on her upper chest region in honor of her grandmother when she was an ninja.
Personality: She is kind to anyone around her, even those who are always rude to her, Yuki gets scared easily when she is in deep thought and someone trys to talk to her. She absolutely loves animals and they are for some reason attracted to her but sometimes it becomes troublesome. She usually spends her time over-thinking things, & because of this finds herself stressing out over the smallest things.
She loves to eat sweet things like pocky or ice cream, although she enjoys to eat it with an friend, if she finds herself eating it alone, Yuki just finds it lonely.
Clan: Yuki Clan
Nindō: "I'll never stop protecting the ones close to me.."


THE NINJA.

Origin: Land of Snow
Affiliation:Konohagakure
Rank: Genin
Specialties:
Main: Ninjutsu
Sub: Medical Ninjutsu

Elemental Affinities: Water/Wind
Advanced Element: Ice Release
Combat Style: Yuki's combat style is fairly simple. She hits them where their body is the weakest(i.e, stomach, throat, etc), as fast and as hard as possible; prepareing for the next attack as soon as she has finished the first and so on and so forth. If she is too wounded to fight, she hides in the trees and trys to hide her chakra so that she can heal herself and that her enemy can not sence her. She usually does not kill anyone in battle unless that person has killed someone close to her. Although if she is protecting someone, or anyone for that matter, she will give it her all.
Special Characteristics:
Name: Increased Chakra Capacity
Rank: C
Type: Chakra Based
Physical Requirements: N/A
Training Requirements: A 600 word training post is required to gain this special characteristic.
Description: Through extensive meditation and physical training the ninja's chakra capacity increases by 20CP.


THE BACKGROUND.

History: Abandoned at birth, Yuki Kohana was picked up by an elderly old woman who was traveling the countryside. The woman couldn't just leave the child there; so she chose to take it home and raise it as her own. Years went by and Yuki grew up to be an smart, young, girl. But something was wrong. Everywhere she went; everyone stared. Eventually she figured it out on her own. She could hear the kids, and even adults talking crap about her, looking at her from the corner of their eyes and whispering to each other. I heard she was raised by snakes before Sakura picked her up from off of the streets! The adults would gossip. More years flew by and Yuki started to notice Grammy's heath declining as days went by.
One day after Yuki finished breakfast, She called her Grammy. "She should have been here by now." she muttered, walking to her Grammy's room. "Grammy! Are you ok?" She yelled walking to her room. But she heard no response. Yuki slammed open her Grammy's door, prepared for the worst; but only saw her grammy laying in bed. The alarm buzzing quietly next to her. "that's weird. It usually wakes her. She walked over to the side of her bed, pressed the 'snooze' button and shaked her gently. "Time to wake up grammy." No response. "Grammy wake up!" Yuki began to shake her harder, the worst coming to mind now.
She pressed two fingers against her Grammy's neck feeling for a pulse but felt none. In fact, her neck was ice cold. Yuki slumped to the ground and pressed her hands to her face, beginning to cry. Her grammy was the only person in the world who actually treated her like a actual person; and now she was gone. She sat there for awhile before arranging for an funeral for her grammy. Not long after the funeral she trained long and hard to become an strong ninja, so that anyone close to her would never get hurt again. She still trains every day now, having in mind that someday she will again have someone close to her heart to protect.

Roleplay Sample:
"It's bright today..." Yuki muttered under her breath as she opened her umbrella. She covered her mouth as she yawned and looked around the village then at the exit of the small village. There seemed to be no one around, the sun was just rising anyhow. "Guess I can skip breakfast for today." she said as she began to head to the exit of the village.


THE ARSENAL.
Spoiler:


FACE CLAIM.

Character Claim:
Source:
Image URL: http://artemis-girl.deviantart.com/art/Orochimaru-Bored-89214039
(Just edited abit)


Last edited by Yuki Kohana on Fri 22 Mar 2013, 8:55 pm; edited 24 times in total
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MsMoney
Wanderer
MsMoney

Age : 37
Posts : 2201

Yuki Kohana [wip] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Yuki Kohana [wip] Yuki Kohana [wip] EmptyTue 19 Feb 2013, 7:51 pm

So,


  • First of all, you need to change your application title so it's her name and then [village, rank]

  • We want minimum of 350 words written in appearance. Two separate paragraphs.

    Ideas for what you should write in your appearance: Elaborate on body build, her face (eyes, mouth, nose, overall features), clothing etc etc.

  • Like with the appearance, you need to write at least 350 words for the personality and also separate it into two neat paragraphs (or more of course if you wish to write more than that, which we always appreciate! Very Happy ) Write about what makes her angry, sad, happy, what she likes and dislikes, something she loves more than anything and hates more than anything? Etc etc.

  • Please link the clan to the application. You can copy and paste the code I put here
    Code:
    [url=http://www.ultimateshinobi.org/t3155-yuki-clan]Yuki Clan[/url]

  • The combat style needs to be at least one solid paragraph (250+ words). It's preferred if you add your weakest point and strongest point in combat in there.

  • Your history needs to be longer. Talk more about her childhood, academy years, and current day. If you say there was a rumor that she was raised by snakes, I'd like to see that part with the snakes in the history as well. If it is just a random rumor you made up, ignore what I said about that Smile

  • Your RP sample needs to be 250 words or more.

  • You can only start with one kit, and you cannot have the medical one as it is B ranked. You can't have any items or techniques that are above your own rank.

  • If you are going to have those weapons, you must have Weaponry in your specialty. Also specify the main and sub ranges of your weaponry. Example: [Weaponry: Main/Close - Sub/Long]. If you have weaponry, you can start with two C rank weapons at your main range (as you already have) and up to 15 D rank weapons of either range.

  • I also want to point out that you can start with 15 jutsu, and it is recommended though not mandatory that you start with a number that's at least close-ish to 15. You also might want to have some of the clan jutsu?

  • You forgot to put the academy jutsu into your application. They are in here, 9 of them. Copy and paste this list into your app, it can be good to have them in a different spoiler from the other jutsu. The academy jutsu do not count towards your limit of 15 starting jutsu.
    Academy jutsu link

  • You have to fill out the whole FC section. Even if it's art after yourself, or something unknown then write that please.


Last edited by MsMoney on Sun 24 Mar 2013, 1:27 am; edited 3 times in total
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Yuki Kohana
Yuki Kohana

Age : 28
Posts : 7

Yuki Kohana [wip] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Yuki Kohana [wip] Yuki Kohana [wip] EmptyFri 22 Mar 2013, 7:39 pm

-update-
So I know I didn't do everything that you told me to do; but how does it look so far? & can you edit you're last post deleteing all of the things I did do so that I'm not as confused?
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Sloth
Sloth

Age : 31
Posts : 683

Yuki Kohana [wip] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Yuki Kohana [wip] Yuki Kohana [wip] EmptyFri 22 Mar 2013, 11:52 pm

Sorry to interject here but if you want this graded you need to take the WIP out of the title.
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http://www.reddit.com/r/sloths
MsMoney
Wanderer
MsMoney

Age : 37
Posts : 2201

Yuki Kohana [wip] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Yuki Kohana [wip] Yuki Kohana [wip] EmptySun 24 Mar 2013, 1:28 am

I edited my post, your application is slowly taking on a better look. Smile But as my fellow moderator said, please remember to remove a WIP from an app's tag before asking for modding as we usually do not touch anything that has a WIP on it. And remember to edit the title according to what I ask above; the name [village and rank].
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Cookie Monster
Swaglord
Cookie Monster

Age : 29
Posts : 4301

Yuki Kohana [wip] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Yuki Kohana [wip] Yuki Kohana [wip] EmptyTue 28 May 2013, 11:06 am


Archived.
Due to lack of progression.
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Yuki Kohana [wip] Vide
PostSubject: Re: Yuki Kohana [wip] Yuki Kohana [wip] Empty

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