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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]

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Elder Sage
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PostSubject: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyFri 07 Jun 2013, 10:55 pm

Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  FotoFlexer_Photo_zps20de48e5

砂漠午前-THE INFO-砂漠午前

-Jinchuriki of the Gobi-


Name: Mogozuki, Ogatami.
Nickname: Although trivial in comparison to other geriatric shinobi such a Jonin who've had a lifetime to accumulate titles within their own personal records, it is without a doubt thatOgatami has also received a few nicknames of note due to his personal and military duties as a ninja. The nicknames he'd received are exclusive to certain groups of people he'd encountered or establishments in which he participates in based on his personal specializations. From aspersions, compliments, remarks and felicitations, two small titles have followed Ogatami since his youth that would probably stick with him for years to come, they are as follows:

|: Oga-kun - Is Ogatami's most common nickname amongst his pears and others around his age group. Because of his respected and popular personality, -kun is added to his nickname as a sign of respect from his peers and his teammates. Typically he is called just 'Oga' by those who've just met him, but that quickly changes once they've grown accustomed to his powerful presence. 
|:Oga of the Forest - Is a codename he created within the Academy that stuck with him for many years. There are a few components in which the name was first created, one of which is due to his connection with nature due to the powers of the Gobi. Another reason is due to his like for walking through the forests and talking to wildlife. It is hinted that in the future, Ogatami will be refereed to as ,"Konoha's Forest Walker", for more famed reasons than a simple codename.

Age: 11.
Gender: Male.
Appearance: Violet Eyes, Long Black Hair, Fair Skin, 5'2 120lbs.

Over the course of the years since adolescents, Oga has very much matured both physically and mentally. Being a powerful descendant from the eminent Mogozuki clan, his skin is naturally a rich honey color. A benefit is his natural genetic beauty and skin tone is that he has no dark circles, pimples, or anything that would tarnish his illustrious complexion. Oga's face is very beautiful and masculine, even for his young age. He has illuminated violet eyes that he'd inherited from his mother, who villagers says reminds them of sacred gems. He has long black eyelashes that blanket his moon crescent eyes. Although peaceful, his eyes are sharp and powerful. They could probably intimidate even the most brute of men and can seduce most women who follow chastity. His eyebrows are somewhat bushy, although their defined appearance makes them look sharp. He possesses no facial hair on his face besides his long side-burns that extend a few inches below his ear. His chin is large and pointy, and leads to a sharp oval shaped jaw which one can define as a strong feature. His nose is very perky and small, but has oddly large nostrils that most people of that nose would have. Like all Mogozuki he has jet-black hair, however he has dyed his hair to an orange color. His hair is long and and straight which is quite common in his family who are also beautiful. However he is fond of spiking his hair up with an expensive gel while also putting it into a large pony-tail that extends to his tailbone. 

Threw continuous training and activity Oga has matured much faster then those of the village could anticipate. His once lean muscles are now bulkier and more heavy set. Although not the village macho, Oga could possibly be the most athletic kid at this age in Konohagakure. Oga is also rather lean which synches perfectly with his bulky stature. He has no sharp edges around his muscles, making every angle of his physic smooth and strong. He is a height of now 5'2, which is still pretty short compared to most boys. Due to his increase in muscle he now weighs 120lbs. Oga is very intuit with the traditions of his clans and respects the wholeheartedly. One of those traditions would be wearing the Mogozuki clan's uniform which he considers not only honorable but definably fashionable. To start he wears a white fishnet shirt under his clothing, different from the standardized black one common amongst most ninja. Over that he wears a V-neck purple shirt with lose sleeves that extend forearm length. To match his white undershirt, Oga wears a pair of long white leather gloves with the clan's symbol stitched on it's backhand. He wears knee length purple sweatpants and over them he wears a white plated groin piece. For footwear, he wears a pair of tubular white socks that cover his entire shin and a pair of slit-toe sandals. Overall his clothing and physical appearance accentuates the exotic image of a purple lily in blossom.

Forehead Protector: Back.

Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Eb0cf2a1-dec0-4253-bda5-4aa7f889cbd8_zpscd4763ab

Personality: Being raised in a loving and quite moderate home in Konohgakrue, Oga has developed a fun and happy personality. He is very kind to everyone for whom he finds friendly and treats them as he would be treated. He believes that everyone has a roll in life and no one enters your life without reasoning. For that, he takes into account what people have to say and what they themselves stand for. This has caused him to sometimes over analyze peoples reactions to different things and not pay attention to his own. Oga also loves to communicate and socialize with individuals, sometimes taking the mental personal of a gossiper even though he denies it. When speaking of topics with great interests to him Oga can go on and on about it, but with the ironic fact that he never sounds like a broken record. He always has different angles and perceptions about different things, some of which he gains from talking to people. Due to his talkative nature he has learned to read between the lines of what people are trying to say, but also control what comes out of his own mouth. He never says things without thinking despite common belief. Oga also is very spiritual and hopeful about life and the path of a Ninja. When younger he was very confused about what his life was about, and why he was even born. But now, he has mentally matured enough to know that life is what you make it, and being a Ninja isn't a life full of pain. Threw his hopeful nature he inspires and guides younger individuals and even people older then himself.

One of Oga's favorite activities is socializing with his fellow comrades in the village restaurants. He always had a liking of public eating places even with his past bad experiences. Although with his love for restaurants he hardly ever orders food, but takes it more of a socializing event. He likes taking his teammates or sensei's to restaurants to talk about nearly anything. He is very fond of the many waiters in Konohagakure, so much that he doesn't even need to tip them. For a long time now Oga has developed a liking for the art of shopping. He loves looking at different outfits and weapons and dreaming buying everything in the store. Sometimes he has trouble spending ryo at shops, causing him to have a minor shopping addiction. His favorite food is his mothers pork chops although he hates the way they bloat him afterward. His favorite activity however is without a doubt doing his job as a medic within the village hospital. Like himself, his entire clan are ninjutsu specialists who serve within the domestic center and on the field. Although a small clan in general, consisting of only a handful of members, Oga hopes to one day be the most powerful Mogozuki to ever exist, and to one day take rule over the clan.

Oga doesn't like when people disrespect his beloved village or insult the Kage. Spending many years in the village and making bonds with its residents, Oga is very sensitive towards the village pride. Insulting his village is equivalent to insulting Oga himself, which he doesn't take kindly. He also doesn't like when he's incapable of helping a patient because he's not skilled enough. It tarnishes his spirit to know that he couldn't help or save someones life because of his rank. However things like that in return make him stronger by wanting to improve himself and his skill.

Oga's goal is honestly quite trivial for a Genin within the village. He looks forward to becoming an powerful shinobi whose name will be spoken with pride through the mouths of his villagers. He wants to be able to kill whoever poses a threat to Konoha to ensure peace within his village. More importantly however, he wants more than anything to be the greatest ninjutsu specialist to ever walk the earth, capable of defeating any enemy that crosses him. With his studying habits and work ethic he is quickly gaining notoriety within the domestic field, even by the eyes of the Chief, who he looks upon as a role model. More short-term goals would be to become a licensed officer and protect the villagers.

Clan: Mogozuki [Casual].
Nindō: The life of a shinobi is about war, both internal and external. Fighting will always exist."


-The Ninja-
Origin: Fire Country
Affiliation: Konohagakure no Sato.
Rank: Genin.
Specialties: Ninjutsu - Weaponry [Close & Long]
\
Status: Active Jinchuriki, Five Tails.
Chakra Capacity: 285 (Massive).
Elemental Affinities:
Main Element: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  WindRelease_zpsece45dd8 [Fuuton Release].
Sub Element: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  18px-Nature_Icon_Lightningsvg_zpsa5f8db80 [Raiton Release].

Additional Element(s):
 Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  18px-Nature_Icon_Watersvg_zps75615164 [Suiton Release]. Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  100px-Nature_Icon_Firesvg-11_zps39223b19[Katon Release]. Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EarthRelease_zps9fed0f78 [Doton Release].

Combat Style: When first engaging in battle, Ogatami prefers to use his abilities to sense the elemental nature of his opponent. Doing so allows him to automatically counter his opponent with a opposing element, giving him an advantage before the battle already begun. He is a mid to long range fighter currently, who excels in barraging his targets with Ninjutsu. Although having massive chakra reserves, he prefers to finish his opponents rather quickly with a single technique, and saving his energy for more suitable situations. Aside from countering his target, Ogatami chooses his elements based on the environment around him. For example, if the battlefield is drenched in water, he will likely use raiton techniques to give a more devastating effect. With more mastery over his abilities, Oga can unleash more powerful elemental combination techniques to destroy multiple people at once, or even more impenetrable targets. Although still new to this skill, his raw power and talent makes him capable of using such a feat with deadly force.


When stationed in a cell or platoon, Oga prefers to take the front line since he is usually the most powerful offensive. He encourages teamwork on the field and using everyone's skill in harmonious collaboration. If the fight is becoming too dragged out, he will become more irritable and work more independently to get the job done. Rarely does he engage in physical combat, but if he does he prefers to enhance his taijutsu with ninjutsu abilities, until he learns a martial combat style from a sensei. Outside of combat, Ogatami is very skilled in survival and navigation, thanks to his link with nature. He tries to avoid unnecessary combat as much as possible, and directs his comrades away from harms way when on missions. 

Special Characteristics:

Code:
[b]Name:[/b] One with Nature
[b]Rank:[/b] E-S (Passive)
[b]Type: [/b]Chakra - Miscellaneous
[b]Requirements:[/b] Gobi
[b]Description[/b]: The user gains the Gobi's ability to sync with nature and connect with the universe on a more spiritual level. The user gains the ability to sense the nature types in others in close proximity. They also gain the ability of ecological empathy where they can sense the physical and spiritual conditions of all wildlife and vegetation around them. Such things could be as small as telling if a plant or animal needs water to even forecasting the weather a few weeks ahead.


-The Background-

History:
Spoiler:

Roleplay Sample:
Spoiler:



FACE CLAIM.


Character Claim: Misaki, Yata
Source: K Project
Image URL: https://s1199.photobucket.com/user/DemetriSage/media/eb0cf2a1-dec0-4253-bda5-4aa7f889cbd8_zpscd4763ab.jpg.html?state=copy


Last edited by DemetriSage on Fri 28 Jun 2013, 1:57 am; edited 15 times in total
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Elder Sage
Elder Sage

Age : 31
Posts : 1118

Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyFri 07 Jun 2013, 11:27 pm

-The Arsenal-

-Academy

Spoiler:


Weaponry
Spoiler:


Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  18px-Nature_Icon_Lightningsvg_zpsa5f8db80
Spoiler:


Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  100px-Nature_Icon_Firesvg-11_zps39223b19
Spoiler:


Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  WindRelease_zpsece45dd8
Spoiler:


Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  18px-Nature_Icon_Watersvg_zps75615164
Spoiler:



Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EarthRelease_zps9fed0f78
Spoiler:


Genjutsu:

-Kit
Spoiler:


Weaponry
Spoiler:


Last edited by DemetriSage on Sat 29 Jun 2013, 1:58 am; edited 25 times in total
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Elder Sage
Elder Sage

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyTue 11 Jun 2013, 5:47 pm

I'm still waiting for this to be modded-
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Chris
Chris

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyThu 13 Jun 2013, 4:50 pm

Since this is a Jinchuuriki application, I'm going to be extra harsh.

In light of that, the appearance needs to be increased. I would like at least another paragraph please.

I also wouldn't mind an increase to your personality. Keep in mind that you're applying for the Five Tails, and as such, a very powerful Bijuu. 

Combat Style needs to be doubled at least. Since you have a Bijuu, you should be able to write quite a lot, considering you can describe how your character fights with and without it.

Here and there I have found a few misspellings and slight mistakes. I would encourage you to read the application over ^^

I will look over the Jutsu once you've done these C:
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Elder Sage
Elder Sage

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptySun 16 Jun 2013, 12:31 am

Updated.
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Chris
Chris

Age : 28
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyWed 19 Jun 2013, 7:25 pm

First of all, almost all of your jutsu mention Etsu, your previous character. -_-

[Earth Release: Shuriken Prism]: how many shuriken?

[Earth Release: Golem Punch]: can you elaborate on the explosion?

[Water Release: Graceful Water Slicers]: they can't travel underground. Making water into bladed disks is already quite difficult, but from what I understand, you also want to first have the water travel through the ground or otherwise, before it actually forms the disks. If you meant that the disks can cut through the ground, then again, no they can't.

[Water Release: Vicious Fluids]: far far far too powerful for a C rank. Stick with one vortex, and remove all mentions of shredding targets -_- And their directions can't be manipulated. Not to a large extent at least.

[Wind Release: Storm Owls]: Can't shred anything. Not human-sized - normal sized please.

[Wind Release: Slicing Twister]: Denied for being overpowered. It's more of a B rank, perhaps even an A.

[Wind Release: Owl Gale]: It repels weapons, sends them back at the opponent and also deals damage? All at C? I can agree to the first two, but not the last.

[Wind Release: Owl Nest]: Terrible flesh wounds? No. Please tone it down.

[Fire Release: Emperor Fireball]: Upkeep cost please. Also, did you mean to say that the direction can only be changed once by the last line? Please clarify.

[Fire Release: Senju's Nightmare Treasure]: Denied. It's definitely a B Rank, if not borderline A.

[Fire Release: Geisha Dance]:
'long fiery arcs of intense flames' Dude, it' just a C rank. Calm your horses.

'More skilled users are capable of matching the target's movements with their flame arcs, severely limited their escape routes before setting them aflame.'

But you're not a more skilled user. The effect is as you described. This line shouldn't be in the description.

OVERALL, I have found that you have mistaken the power and effects of C Rank techniques for B if not A Rank jutsu. For the future, I would just like to ask you to tone your customs down.
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Elder Sage
Elder Sage

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyThu 20 Jun 2013, 7:09 pm

Quote :
[Wind Release: Owl Gale]: It repels weapons, sends them back at the opponent and also deals damage? All at C? I can agree to the first two, but not the last. 

Well what do you expect a powerful gale of wind is suppose to do? 


Quote :
OVERALL, I have found that you have mistaken the power and effects of C Rank techniques for B if not A Rank jutsu. For the future, I would just like to ask you to tone your customs down.

Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Well-excuse-me-thumb

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Chris
Chris

Age : 28
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyThu 20 Jun 2013, 7:23 pm

[Earth Release: Shuriken Prism]: knock the number down to 15 please. 

[Wind Release: Owl Nest]: Still mentions your old character and is a little unclear, because some words are missing.

Raiton: Raijininguhebun [Lightning Release: Thunder God Haven]: Way too powerful. No paralysis, opponents are only affected when they make physical contact. Since the site doesn't use any (almost) electrical appliances, I don't really see the point to include such a statement in there. And again, you would have to make contact with the appliances or they would need to be very close.

[Lightning Release: Thunder God Shuriken]: Can't cut through most substances and no paralysis, please.

For the other Raiton, could you change [2p] into something more clear e.g. Two Turns.

Oh and the url in your face claim seems to be broken :/
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Elder Sage
Elder Sage

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyFri 21 Jun 2013, 6:15 am

Updated.
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Chris
Chris

Age : 28
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyFri 21 Jun 2013, 5:26 pm

Good stuff.

Approved 1/2
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CleverYamanaka
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CleverYamanaka

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptySun 23 Jun 2013, 1:34 am

Same as Chris. Since this is a Jinchuuriki application, I am going to be extra harsh.
So. With that said. Bite the pillow, I'm going in dry.

Quote :
Name: [Lightning Release: Lightning Sparrow Technique].
Full body paralysis is something of the B-A rank, and this jutsu should not be able to move at that great a distance from your body. This easily sounds like a B or A rank jutsu, and it reminds me of Kakashi's lightning wolf jutsu, which was S rank, seeing as it's a chidori variation, and lightning jutsu are not normally able to be animated in this sense. The only two I can think of are Kirin from Sasuke, and Kakashi's lightning wolf - see a pattern in rank? At most, this should be able to go 5 or 6 meters from you, and should cause some numbing pain.

Quote :
Name: [Lightning Release: Thunder God Shuriken].
This sounds like lightning armor and shuriken throwing. Once again, no full body paralysis. It can be painful, and numbing, but nothing too extreme. This is one of the lowest level techniques, at C rank. Keep that in mind. Take out the sparks around the body, specify how many shuriken you're able to create, and take out the paralysis.

Quote :
Name: [Lightning Release: Son of Raijin].
If you can hold this jutsu over numerous posts, which it sounds like you can, you need to have an upkeep per post, and it needs to be something relatively potent, seeing as this is a powerful almost-chidori-like-jutsu.

Quote :
Name: [Fire Release: Geisha Dance].
You need to specify how much damage these "arcs" do. I am thinkig like... minor burning, and nothing serious, seeing as it would be annoying to avoid and act as a distraction as well. It should not do much damage.

Since I am out of time, and I have to go to work, that's all I can post on for now. I'll finish the rest when I get back. You should remind me though. I have a habit of forgetting. But I'll try and remember. I promise :3 The app looks super good, and nice, it's just that your jutsu are seemingly too powerful for C rank jutsu. They all seem like B rank or A rank jutsu, from what I've seen thus far. And that's after Chris's moderation comments -.-'
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Elder Sage
Elder Sage

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptySun 23 Jun 2013, 6:59 pm

Quote :
You need to specify how much damage these "arcs" do. I am thinkig like... minor burning, and nothing serious, seeing as it would be annoying to avoid and act as a distraction as well. It should not do much damage.
For a C rank? Grand Fireball can or a simple Endan can damn near scorch an individual. So why does my custom C rank only inflict minor burns when its fire, just like everything else. If it hits you, you burn. Plus I already thinned the arcs in comparison to a large fireball, I believe that's adequate enough. That's just my logic, minor burns is something like D.

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CleverYamanaka
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CleverYamanaka

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyTue 25 Jun 2013, 11:45 pm

Quote :
Name: [Wind Release: Storm Owls].
Too much for a C rank. Make one owl, or specify how much these things "Shred" on impact. If you look at the other C rank jutsu in the encyclopedia, there is not even one of them which "shred on impact." They're just basic, concussive blasts of air. That's what we're looking at for a C ranked jutsu of the air element. Nothing more than something basic. Taking form, making guided, shredding missiles... not C rank. Especially not three. That sounds B or A rank.

Quote :
Name: [Wind Release: Owl Gale].
*minor flesh wounds. Temari, who is one of the best wind using ninjas in the anime, was only able to do tiny scraps with her trump card jutsu during the chuunin exams.

Quote :
Name: [Water Release: Water Ring].
Confused as to what this is doing, exactly, seeing as it is not all that clear. But if you're creating anything steadily, you're going to need to give a much more clear indicator of how much is being created. What is more, you're going to have to have an upkeep chakra cost on this, and raise it to AT LEAST C rank. This is the part where I normally say this sounds like a B rank or A rank jutsu :/

Quote :
Name: [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism].
*Huff* Too powerful. Anything "seemingly unavoidable" is probably not C rank in level. This is creating large shuriken from the earth that can spring up around someone at any moment and shoot from all angles? B or A rank, probably B rank. I am fine with making shuriken from the earth, but it needs to be a small amount, and it needs to not be able to randomly spring up from all angles. You can make a shuriken, and then throw it. Look at this C ranked encyclopedia jutsu for reference of a typical C rank earth jutsu:

Quote :
Name: Gansetsukon - Rock Spear
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: Close (0m - 5m)
Element: Doton (Earth)
Description: This jutsu allows the user to take a small chunk of rock and turn it into the shape of a staff. The user can then use it as a weapon or throw it at their opponent. Because it is made of thin stone, it is very brittle.
Chakra Cost: 5

Alright. Once all of this is done, I'll have another general look over the app to make sure everything I said was indeed updated, and then I'll get to giving you that approval. Sorry if I am coming off as harsh, but almost all of your custom jutsu are way too powerful for the rank at which they're being placed. Either way, the concepts are strong, and they are well written so congratulations on that much. I'll check back soon.
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Elder Sage
Elder Sage

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyWed 26 Jun 2013, 5:31 am

Name: [Wind Release: Storm Owls].
|: Reduced the damage output but kept it at 3 manifestations. Mainly because the entities are small due to them being simply large birds, instead of a huge gale or something.


Name: [Wind Release: Owl Gale].

|: Edited.


Name: [Water Release: Water Ring].

|: Replaced with encylopedia suiton ninjutsu.


Name: [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism].

|: Changed the size. The jutsu requires handseals and the shuriken must be formed from the compression of minerals from the earth, which isn't a instanteous process. So if you're silly enough to stand still during all that then that's your characters dumbness tbh.
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CleverYamanaka
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyWed 26 Jun 2013, 5:57 am

Quote :
Name: [Wind Release: Storm Owls].
|: Reduced the damage output but kept it at 3 manifestations. Mainly because the entities are small due to them being simply large birds, instead of a huge gale or something.
Nope. If you can freely manipulate all three, that's two powerful, seeing as that's too much to dodge, unless they're slow as hell. And I am assuming they're not extra slow.

Quote :
Name: [Earth Release: Shuriken Prism].

|: Changed the size. The jutsu requires handseals and the shuriken must be formed from the compression of minerals from the earth, which isn't a instanteous process. So if you're silly enough to stand still during all that then that's your characters dumbness tbh.
Then there needs to be some kind of way to tell that something is happening in the earth below them. Because this is assuming they're a close ranged fighter you're up against. When that's the case, it's not stupid at all to stay within a close range, and it is not dumb to remain there after the jutsu's activation. It was be metagame to leave just because the RPer knows that you activated a jutsu. Perhaps some kind of trembling takes place when the shuriken are being formed. How about that?
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Elder Sage
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyWed 26 Jun 2013, 6:10 am

Updated.

Storm owls now move in single direciton.

Added trembling to earth jutsu.
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CleverYamanaka
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyThu 27 Jun 2013, 11:18 pm

Quote :
Name: [Fire Release: Geisha Dance].
You still dont talk about how powerful these arcs are, and I want them to be less powerful than a fireball jutsu. If you want me to list reasons why, I will. I should not really need to, however, seeing as I have made my ruling. They should cause small burns at most. Getting fire slung in your face with numerous arcs is enough to mess you up for a fatal slash with the fire arc creating sword, if you ask me.
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Adam
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyFri 28 Jun 2013, 1:45 am

CleverYamanaka wrote:
Quote :
Name: [Fire Release: Geisha Dance].
You still dont talk about how powerful these arcs are, and I want them to be less powerful than a fireball jutsu. If you want me to list reasons why, I will. I should not really need to, however, seeing as I have made my ruling. They should cause small burns at most. Getting fire slung in your face with numerous arcs is enough to mess you up for a fatal slash with the fire arc creating sword, if you ask me.

Deme if your jutsu is the same chakra cost as the fireball technique it can be the same strength but please try to be specific with what sort of damage it can do.
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Elder Sage
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyFri 28 Jun 2013, 1:53 am

Updated.
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CleverYamanaka
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptyFri 28 Jun 2013, 11:17 pm

My reasoning was simply this:
1. You seemingly do not need hand seals for this jutsu, making it faster than a fireball jutsu when used, and therefore increasing it's hit rate by a lot.
2. There are numerous arcs, meaning you would have to accumulate the damage of numerous before you could get it up to the fireball jutsu level.
3. This can be shot at numerous targets, unlike the fireball jutsu.
4. Because of this jutsu's ability to be slung in any direction, it could just as easily serve as a potent defense mechanism, unlike the fireball jutsu. Overall, it's a higher level jutsu, which I think should not be as powerful.

That said, how you have it now is simply what I was going for. That you'd have to accumulate these arc strikes before it becomes the level of a fireball. The one thing that I am going to add is that you specify just how many arcs you're getting with the activation of this jutsu; note that, in order to have it be at the same level as a fireball jutsu, you would have to hit the same target with all arcs, logically. Please specify that, and you'll be on your way Smile
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Elder Sage
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptySat 29 Jun 2013, 1:58 am

Updated.
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CleverYamanaka
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CleverYamanaka

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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptySun 30 Jun 2013, 8:02 pm

Approved 2/2.
If, for any reason, a moderator has an issue with anything posted on this app, feel free to remove it from approval and do work to it. Other than that, I give the second approval on this application.

You can make your account here.
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Flare
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  EmptySun 10 Nov 2013, 1:44 am

Archived due to inactivity.
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Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Vide
PostSubject: Re: Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails] Mogozuki, Ogatami. [Konoha Genin][5 Tails]  Empty

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